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ventya · 2 years

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OKAY BUT MEAN STEVE MEETING BILLY, WHOSE MOMMY NEVER LEFT HIM!!!

Billy still wears shirts that have flowers embroidered in them and his hair is less messy, more curly, it’s fluffier and shines in the sun.

“Are you a girl??” Tommy Hagan asks snickering next to Steve Harrington. This was their welcoming of the new kid. Sure Billy might be less grouchy and not but he knows how to stand for himself. He still had a certain edge to him.

“What? You want to kiss me?” Billy snaps back with a growing smirk. Tommy grew a bit red making Billy throw his head back laughing. Steve watches the boy walk away from, it’s like he couldn’t stop watching him. Tommy huffs at his side

Soon enough Harrington finds out that Billy works at the new flower shop that has opened. Steve is so eager to walk in when he spots the other boy. “You work here?” He stuffs his hands in his pocket and Billy gives him a deadpanned look. Two weeks have passed and Steve Harrington and Tommy have made it clear what kind of guys they are, at least in Billy’s eyes.

“What does it look like, Harrington?”

Steve smile’s grows big. He opens his mouth at the same time the door of the shop opens.

“Angel, could you help me out in the back-“

Steve stares at the blonde moment in a long dress with a green apron around her waist.

“Oh I didn’t know we have a customer,” she smiles so brightly at Steve. Billy sets down what he was working on.

“He’s not a customer.” Billy sending Steve a glare.

Steve blinks before smiling again. “Actually, I am interested in buying some flowers for this girl I’m seeing tonight.” Steve puts on his best charms, rubbing the back of his head and smiling at the woman. She smiles back.

“Oh how sweet come inside I think you might like what we have inside more.” She holds the door open for him and Steve takes a look at Billy, who continues glaring at him with sharp blue eyes. “Come with us, Billy, I’m sure you’ll be able to help out your friend.”

Billy grumbles to himself before following. Steve couldn’t be more delighted.

“Do you know what type of flowers the girl likes?”

“No, ma’am, but I do know she likes the color lilac.”

“Then I have the perfect flowers for you,” then she gazes at him laughing a little. “You got some good manners young boy. But you don’t have to be so formal with me.”

“Billy, sweetheart, why don’t you show your friend to the flowers at the back there,” she points in a direction and Billy nods. “I will go finish up what’ve started.”

“I will come and help when I’m done.” He says quickly eyes watching his mother disappear. The soft eyes turn into a glare when he moved to look at Steve Harrington, who is smiling innocently.

“So it’s just you and me,” Steve’s smile was growing into a teasing one. Billy wasn’t having it.

“And the flowers for your girl.” He says before making his move to the back with Steve hot on his tail.

“Kinda suits you to work here, surrounded by all the pretty flowers.” Steve wants to get a rise of him, Billy knew that. He wasn’t going to give in. “I wasn’t even surprised when they told me you work here. Tommy was right.” Steve smile has grown into a grin pushing Billy’s shoulder slightly.

Billy was very close to just landing his fist into Steve’s jaw. “Here are the flowers my mom told you about.” He practically seethes through gritted teeth.

“Mom?” Steve blinks surprised.

“You’re slow.” Billy allows himself to snap.

Steve just smiles then he steps forward narrowing his eyes slightly before speaking again. “You do have the same eyes and if you’d smile for me maybe I can see if you have the same smile.”

“Maybe if you shut up I’m not going to kick you out.”

Steve fakes a gasp, “That’s how you treat your customers?”

This time Billy steps forward in Steve’s face sneering at him, “I will show you how I treat my customers who can’t keep their mouth shut.” Billy didn’t miss the way Steve’s eyes dropped to his mouth, didn’t miss the glint in his eyes. But he brushed it off. This was just Steve trying to get on his nerves.

Steve pretends to zip his mouth shut and throw the keys away. Billy goes back to the flowers.

“I read you make bouquets…” Steve’s voice is soft in a weird way. Treading between the line of speaking and not speaking. Not speaking and getting his ass kicked by Billy.

“We do.” Billy replies nonchalantly.

“So…” Steve muses shifting on his feet. Billy stares at him. “Can you make me a bouquet?”

“Tch.” Billy scowls grabbing more flowers. This makes Steve’s smile grow back on. When Billy had gathered flowers like good flower boy he was he got to the front to setting them down. Steve watches Billy grab his hair and pull it all back wrapping them with a tie. Steve’s feels his neck grow hot. He has never seen Billy tie his hair back like this, its so close. Billy takes his time to get it perfect. Steve’s eyes move to Billy’s arm then back to his hands and fingers moving smoothly. Then the finished thing got Steve gulping. He realizes that he had never seen Billy with his tied back like this. Billy was too focused on his hair to notice Steve’s face. Steve recovers quickly when Billy glances up at him. He feels the flush crawling up his neck to his ears. But Billy focus is on the flowers, on the bouquet in making and Steve is thankful for that. He continues watching Billy’s hand move around just as smoothly as before. Maybe a little hesitant at times.

Steve didn’t care for the flowers not when Billy’s fingers are right there! But still he is left awe struck at how beautiful the bouquet turns out. “It’s done.” Billy grumbles out handing it to Steve. Steve stares at it. “What? You don’t want it. You still gotta pay for it!”

Steve grasps the bouquet his own fingers accidentally wrapping around Billy’s. “No!” Steve feels so freaking hot. “No, I want it. I think my mom will like it.”

Billy raises his brow, “Thought it was for your girl?”

Fuck. Steve is sure his ears are burning red right now. “I- yeah changed my mind. Don’t think I can give my date something like…this.” Something this beautiful. “She’ll get the wrong idea.” He says and Billy stares at him.

“Ever the player, Harrington.”

Right. He’s King Steve. So Steve smirks then shrugs his shoulders. “What can I say.” Smoothly as Billy’s fingers.

“That will be 55 dollars.”

“What?! No way others are paying that much for bouquet.” This time Billy smirks leaning with his face resting in his palm. Eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. Steve feels breathless.

“I saw your house, Harrington, I’m sure you have the money. So what I can say.” He gives a similar shrug. Steve glares at him pulling out his wallet. He pays up and takes himself and the bouquet out not before hearing Billy’s “Say hi to your mom for me.”

He doesn’t give it to his mother. He did want to but she wasn’t going to be home for another month. So Steve fills a blue vase with water and sets it in his living room. He stares at the bouquet, leaning to touch the lilac petals and he remembers Billy’s fingers. Steve sinks into the couch groaning lightly rubbing his eyes tiredly, “50 dollars for you.”

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #billy’s mom makes billy give steve back the money he shouldn’t have paid #hehehe

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amorest-viesse · 2 months

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[Your Warm Hand in Mine] - Chloe SR Card Story Translation

Ft. Figaro (Akira and Western wizards mention in card episode)

A Line for the Lady - Chapter 1

[Weeping Princess’ Castle]

Chloe: May I have your hand, my lady?

Chloe: …No, that’s not right. Maybe it needs to be more gallant.

Chloe: To ensure you’re not swept away by someone else, may I have your hand, my lady?

Figaro: Ahaha, how forward of you, but by all means.

Chloe: Whoa! Where did you come from?

Figaro: Oops, sorry for the scare. You just seemed so serious, I thought it might help to have a partner.

Figaro: Although, it doesn’t look like things are going too well right now.

Chloe: Ahaha… You got me there.

Chloe: Truth be told, I just can’t get the hang of this escorting thing. No matter how much I practice, I always get nervous and totally freak out.

Figaro: Really? I never would’ve guessed from the number of times I’ve seen you invite the Master Sage out.

Chloe: It’s totally different with them though!

Chloe: We’re basically BFFs, so if I goof up, we can just laugh it off!

Chloe: I can’t exactly do that during a ceremony with strangers though… If I leave a bad first impression, it’s totally over for me!

Figaro: Hmm, I see the dilemma now. Well then, what if you did this?

Figaro: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and try treating it like a game.

Figaro: You Western wizards are always doing that kind of stuff right?

Chloe: Think of it like a game? You know, that might just work!

Chloe: Oh, but what should the setting be? A ball? A birthday party? A theatrical production?

Chloe: What do you think, Figaro?

A Line for the Lady - Chapter 2

Figaro: Let me think…

Figaro: What if… you were the heir of a noble family meeting your betrothed for the first time, and you needed to take her out on a very special date?

Chloe: Me? An aristocrat?

Figaro: If the situation is too difficult to imagine, I could always turn into your beautiful betrothed for practice sake.

Chloe: Eh!? You? As a noblewoman!?

Chloe: As much as I’d like to see that… I wanna give it a shot on my own first.

Figaro: Ahaha, fine by me.

Chloe: Alrighty then, here I go. …Ahem.

Chloe: …It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, my fair lady. I have been eagerly awaiting this day.

Chloe: Dressed in dusky blue with luminous diamonds about your neck, you’re the very vision of a star, descending from the heavens to grace us with your ethereal presence…

Chloe: Now, may I have your hand, my lady?

Figaro: …

Chloe: So? How did I do?

Figaro: It was even better than I’d expected. You really are Rustica’s apprentice.

Figaro: I think you’d charm just about anyone like that.

Chloe: Really?

Figaro: Really. Every word was elegantly and beautifully delivered.

Figaro: Although, it was funny to hear you compliment your partner’s dress and accessories without them actually being there. I’m sure no one but you could’ve come up with a line like that.

Chloe: Ehehe, I’m glad to hear it! I think I can totally take on the real thing now.

Chloe: Thanks so much for helping me out, Figaro!

We Gotta Go All Out! - Card Episode

[Manor Living Room]

Chloe: This should go… here. And the fabric should be gathered here…

Akira: Good afternoon, Chloe. Is that a new dress design?

Chloe: Oh, Master Sage! Great timing!

Chloe: This is super random, but what kinda dress do you think would look good on Rustica!?

Akira: This is for Rustica, you say?

Akira: Um, I feel like he could make anything work, but maybe… He’d like one with a bluebird embroidered on it.

Chloe: You think so? Alright then, I’ll keep that in mind.

Akira: Did Rustica request this?

Chloe: Ehehe, these outfits are actually for a special class session.

Chloe: When I told the other Westerners about how nervous I was during the mission, they offered to give me a special lesson on escorting…

Chloe: We’re using transformational magic so I can have practice with both men and women!

Akira: Oh I see now! That sounds like a lot of fun.

Chloe: Right? Figaro also gave me some really good advice during the mission.

Chloe: Which is why he’ll be there too as a special guest instructor!

Akira: (A Western wizard lesson with Figaro in attendance… I’m really curious now…)

Akira: …Hey, do you think there’s room for one more? I want to see how your lesson goes.

Chloe: Of course there is! In fact, you should join us as a participant!

Chloe: I’ll make sure to design you the most beautiful dress and dashing suit ever!

Home Screen Voice Line

“Ehehe, do you remember how I gave everyone presents to show my appreciation the other day? Well, as a thanks for the thanks, some of them gave me a gift back. I totally wasn’t expecting it, so it made me super happy. W- Wait, you’re giving me one too!?”

#mhyktl #mahoyaku #mhyk #chloe collins #mahoutsukai no yakusoku #figaro garcia #this should be mhyk required reading #im so serious

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commander-rahrah · 6 months

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So do I! I'm glad Astarion is patient with them although he does tease them XD I love the idea of him embroidering little designs whether it's stars, moon, or something else! It sounds adorable 😊 I would definitely adore letting him have the first pick of new clothes! He deserves it & it would help him separate from his past too 🤍 Thank you for sharing your thoughts because I love it so much :)

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD What if Astarion had five things about what GN!Reader does that frustrate & confuse him (but he's secretly grateful for it)

1. They always make eye contact with him unless there's something that requires their utmost attention

2. They always remember what he said to them like a book he mentioned briefly that he wants to read but can't find so they worked hard to find it for him or they asked if he doesn't mind continuing what he was talking about earlier before there was an interruption

3. They always ask for his consent even if it's something he suggested because they're familiar with forcing themselves to do something they don't like or they're used to being presented with the illusion of choice

4. They always thank him whether it's something like shooting down an enemy while they're too preoccupied or helping them carry some stuff

5. They won't touch him unless it's for his benefits like quickly removing a leaf from his hair that he keeps missing (that's how they know because they noticed his stiff expression & how tense his body is briefly when they did for the first time) or pulling him to safety

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Okay, tumblr definitely lost this one -- so sorry about that anon!

I think that with most of these, the biggest thing would be Astarion realizing that you actually are perceiving him. Seeing through any of his careful masks and facades he puts up. A lot of these things are ideas I've been slowly exploring in my fic series as Tav/Astarion's relationship grows, but I can definitely share some little thoughts about them before I post my bigger thoughts in my fic aha!

I would imagine that Tav/reader continuously making eye contact with him might make him nervous at first - he would try to figure out what you were trying to do, if you were trying to throw him off or something. Once he realized it was just because Tav/reader was genuinely interested in what he was saying, listening and watching… his mind might betray him a bit. Why did you focus on him so much? Did you like what you saw? What if you didn't? I think its something he would have to get use to as he let his guard down more and more, and began to trust Tav/reader

I think he would be floored the first time Tav/reader did something like this. If he made some off the cuff comment about wishing he had better reading material, and then the next night there was a little stack of books sitting in his tent. If you did it again, he would maybe ask in a teasing way, but secretly really really wants to know why you're doing this, "What's the big deal? Trying to bribe me?" and being even more confused when Tav/reader shrugs and tell him that they thought of him when they saw it or remembered him bringing it up. This would make him even more confused and probably tell them as such. "You get more puzzling every day."

The always asking for consent thing is actually a scene I already have written for my series Talking to the Moon - but a bit of a snippet of how it will go is essentially him getting exasperated as Tav once again asks "May I?" and he goes "Do you insist on asking that every time?". "Yes, Astarion. Every time." And even if it was his idea, I think Tav/reader would still ask. He might roll his eyes, "Darling, it was my idea." But you would explain that he can always change his mind, that consent given or promises made before can change, that in the moment it could change. That you never want him to feel like that with you, not ever, not again. So yes, you will ask every. single. time.

Gratitude is not something he is used too. His master made demands, not requests. There were no thank yous expressed to him, not ever. I think he would probably mask this one better then any of the others, flipping his hair and replying in his sassy voice that "you owe me" or "yes, I am quite something, aren't I?" But every thank you you gave him, probably healed something inside him

I think that post-confession, Tav/Reader would only ever touch Astarion without permission if it was a matter of safety, like pushing him out of the way of an arrow or for a spell, etc. And before he could say anything, they would start profusely apologizing, not trying to explain it away but then Astarion would shush them, reassuring them that he was alright, "It's okay, I'm fine. We're okay, I promise."

#commander-rahrah answers #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion/reader #astarion x reader

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threecirclingbuzzards · 10 months

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Love the patch clothing! I just bought a denim jacket myself and am looking forward to decking it out. Do you have tips or resources in how to get started? Much appreciated :)

I've only been doing this a year and a half so I am far from the perfect source of information, but here's what I've gathered over that time:

This post has a lot of really good information for painting and sewing patches. I use fabric paint from Michael's over acrylic because it holds better, but also maybe because it was a "gift" from a friend and idk if he paid the actual price for those. They also changed their brand so I can't speak to the quality of the new stuff, I just know I like Imagin8 and Tulip fabric paints from them. The colours you want to mix white or test on small scrap fabric before making a design. When painting, I sketch with pencil or get a stencil reference. Another way of painting here.

Stitching onto a jacket you can follow the first post, take sewing thread, cut a length, put through the needle, tie the end around itself [make a loop holding both ends together, put it through the other side] stitch from the inside of the jacket to start to hide that knot, pull directly away from the patch on the outside, stitch back through the patch from the bottom. If both fabrics were clear it would be a sawtooth shape you'd see.

Most scrap fabric will do fine to paint on, and I like to hem the edges to prevent fraying of my painted or printed patches but you don't have to and I didn't used to/don't always still, it's just a little stronger. and is good for thinner or loosely woven fabric like those that feel like denim.

[for info on how to hem and general sewing tips, check craft blogs, I am very devil may care with my sewing and have stabbed myself a lot. For stitch spacing use a ruler or other guide. I use my fingers it's not recommended.]

I also suggest, depending on where you're located, checking etsy or other independent storefronts online for some local/semi-local shops for screenprinted punk patches to see if anything catches your eye, but especially look for embroidered patches if you want any decent embroidery. Some are also from quite a distance but have a good shipment cost, but I try to buy local to avoid it being air mail. For punk style screen printed patches in America on Etsy that I can vouch for, I can name ZombieRufio, DeadGiants, RainbowDistribution, and DrunksWithaPress.

Punk With A Camera have some good screenprints if you're from North America, I know the bassist of my favourite local band has the "soup for my family" patch from there, and I'm planning to get it myself as well sometime soon. Bandcamp also sometimes has punk artists list their patches in their merch tab.

Other places I've gotten pins and patches is:

Scout Shops if you're again in North America, or Britain I think also has some, but that's a grab bag and usually just shapes like the dog my friend has or the raccoon I have.

Local festivals/shows, a lot of events in parks and such as community events with local artisan sellers have some cool pins and patches on occasion, I got my genderqueer pin from that. and of course local bands occasionally have pins and patches at their merch tables during and after local shows. For me, Local is the city next to mine with any actual punk venues for local shows [I think we have five places that punks play at currently in that bigger city.] but for you it could be your city, or a bit further. Look around on social media for your area. My gf found the bar I met a bunch of local punks at searching for cool places to eat in that city.

Finally, but not super useful, got a bunch from my uncle and grandfather on my mom's side in a big box from Scouting trades, so I have a big bag of miscellaneous patches from places they went to, and some just classic plain vintage patches, which definitely gave me a leg up. Stores catering to alternative fashion sometimes have old pins or patches but that's very location dependant.

For my studs, I had an Amazon gift card from a family member and bought it through there, but I can't advise doing that generally. Not really a fan of Amazon obviously. My cone spikes were a gift from my girlfriend who I believe did something similar, used an Amazon gift card. I know that other people have better places to order spikes from online if you're American, but I'm not sure how relevant that would be to you. Spikes I say be smart, do some research, be careful of being overcharged. Most of my jackets started without and just had safety pins from a drug store and scrap metal from wherever I found it and that looked really cool too.

Finally, I liked to build up my jackets in "stages" where I collect a few patches and then sew them all on close in time to one another, as it allowed me to plan the layout better, and make the final result look better to my eyes.

Now with all that very very long wall of text out of the way this is me expressly asking you to PLEASE reach out if you have any other questions, I love talking about this. Also if you post any progress pictures on Tumblr, you are required to tag me now. I want to see them.

Thank you to @genderfluid-and-confuzled for prompting the two posts I link at the top btw, He's awesome and has been the source of a lot of great conversation regarding jackets for me. My pieces wouldn't exist without you, comrade.

#diy punk #diy fashion #punk #diy #patch jacket #asks #my jacket #punk rock #punk jacket

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jellyfishloveletterghosts · 2 years

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A lil thing inspired by this post by @ickypuppi3 showing off Billy and his mom’s embroidered clothes. Billy knows how to embroider.

Billy’s mom did embroidery. Beautiful red roses were her favorite, she put them on everything. She taught Billy in secret because Neil thought that kind of stuff was for girls. He loves it, it was their thing and something he was good at.

Billy stopped doing embroidery after she left for a long time. He did not take it up again until after he survived Starcourt.

One of the nurses is working on a project, just happens to be using his room during her break because he is pretty quiet these days. Except he cannot keeps his mouth shut when he sees her trying a stitch and doing it wrong mouth loosened by the painkiller.

The “Then why don’t you show me how it’s done sport?” is definitely supposed to be condescending but Billy takes the fabric and the needle. He is a lot out of practice and his hands are a mess but he manages to show her the correct way to do the stitch. A little fancier than the basic, a little tricky when you have not seen someone do it so many times you can see it in your sleep. There is giddy excitement in her when she takes it back and does her own stitch just as messy as Billy’s but the first one always is.

The next day on her lunch break she comes into Billy's room and gives him a little bag of string and ribbon and a pillow. “I figure if you know the fancy stitches maybe you can help me on a little project, it’ll be good for your hands.” Which is how Billy ends up embroidering his first pillow in years.

He does not stop after the pillow, does a sweater fox Max as a ‘Sorry I was such a shit before’ kind of present. It is a silly thing with a skateboard on it, the few stitches he messes up hidden in the kaleidoscope of color. When he gives it to her it is the firsts real hug that is not a ‘Glad you didn’t die’ one, she has given him in years.

It is when he is watching Steve drop Robin off one hazy autumn morning, doing his own drop off of Max in Susan’s car that he has a desire to embroider something other than the request from El he is working on. She wants a Mothman embroidered on the back of a flannel and who is Billy to tell her no even if Hopper is going to find it annoying, he can take that up with Murray. Billy pretty sure he’s the one who told her about Mothman to begin with.

“Sunflowers.” Max catches him looking.

“What?” Billy curls his fingers tighter against the steering wheel.

“Steve likes sunflowers. He likes that they turn to each other when they can’t find the sun. Thinks it some sort of romantic notion.” Max scrunches her nose up as she says it making her stance on the thing clear.

“Why do you know that?” It strikes him as odd.

“Steve mentioned it to Lucas, so he got me a sunflower corsage for homecoming. It’s how we found out I’m allergic to sunflowers.” Right Billy had still been pretty drugged up at the time but he vaguely remembers Max’s complaints and insistent scratching from his bedside. He snorts a laugh at the hazy memory, getting an almost gentle elbow to the ribs. She knows he is still healing.

“So sunflowers.” Max offer one last time before she is climbing out of the car and rushing over to meet up with Lucas and the rest of the party she hangs out with. Billy’s eyes fall back to Steve’s car pulling out of the parking lot now.

He already has an idea forming in his head of a blanket with two sunflowers facing each other and roses at the base of their stem because they are Billy’s favorite. It will be a big project, it will take a while to complete but Billy figures maybe by the time he finishes he will have worked up the courage to ask Steve out to dinner.

#harringrove #jellyghostfic #fanfiction #st fic #billy hargrove x steve harrington #pre Harringrove

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gurilihi · 2 years

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Michael Afton x fem!Reader

Hey there guys! This is my first ever fanfiction I published somewhere, so don't expect too much, but I had this idea for a while and the guts to share it. Keep in mind that english isn't my native language, so sincerest apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes (althought I reread it a thousand time)

Written in 3rd pov, texts are in Michael's pov

Word count: ~4500

Warning: reader described as female, she/her pronouns used, slight angst by the end, cursing, reader has some piercings (😏) (sorry for anyone who doesn't), underage drinking, other than that wholesome fluff and crack /I apologise if I missed something/

I have some ideas so if you'd like a part two, or maybe even make this into a fluffy series then let me know!

Hope you enjoy! <3

"I'm leaving!" Y/n shouted back to her mom, who was also getting ready to leave for work. She shut the door behind herself, starting the 20 minute walk to the city's attraction, Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex, owned by the one and only William Afton and Henry Emily. 'Why am I doing this again?' she tought to herself as she neared the doors, showing her ID to the security guard and entering after he nodded and opened the doors for her, saying a quick 'Have a nice shift, kiddo', then letting go of the automatic door. She went straight to the owner's office, hoping for instructions. She knocked, hearing a quiet 'Come in' and stepping in the office, getting face to face with the infamous Mr. Afton. "Good morning Mr. Afton. I'm here for the summer job we've talked about." She stepped closer as the purple suited man stood up from his desk.

"Ah, yes. Y/n Wenner, I assume? Let me show you arround and tell you what your job is going to be." He said, a friendly smile plastered on his face as he walked towards the girl, placing his hand on her upper back and leading her out of the office and around the building. "So if I'm not wrong, you know my son." He glanced at the girl, raising one of his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

"Michael? Oh yeah, we're classmates but we don't talk that much." She lied, hoping to get away without further questioning.

"Is that so? That's unfortunate. I'm sure you two would get along well." He offered as they stopped in front a restaurant on the third floor. Oh, if only he knew."Well, we're here. You're going to be taking the orders of the guests and serving them if needed. Noel will give you further instructions and your uniform." She nodded as a man, possibly in his late 20's, walked out of El Chip's. "That's it for now. If you have any questions or problems, you're welcome in my office anytime." And with that, he walked away, probably going back to whatever he was doing before. Y/n turned to Noel, who welcomed her with a slight smile.

"Well, welcome to the Pizzaplex. Here's your uniform-" He handed her a black bottom-up, the facility's name embroided on it in neon colors and black suit pants with a black belt. "and you can change in the back in the staff room and also put your stuff down there. Here's a key." She nodded, taking the key and mumbling a 'Thanks' before disappearing into the staff rooms.

The first day wasn't as bad as she expected it to be. She only had one Karen to deal with, regardless of the size and popularity of the building. She'll only have to work as a waitress in the first two weeks, as William told her. When she arrived home, she went straight for the bathroom, showering, then laying down on her bed, trying to get some sleep before her next shift.

Next day, same rutine, same building, same door, same security guard. Same uniform, cleaning everything until it was spotless before opening and serving costumers. Repeating it over and over again. She mentally prepared herself for the costumer as she walked out from her break, tying her hair up. She walked up to the booth where two smaller kids were sitting, another person -probably their dad or older brother- sitting opposite of them, his back facing Y/n as she neared the table. She turned so she could look at all of them, forcing a smile on her face which almost got wiped off when she faced the kids' brother.

"Hi, welcome to El Chip's, what can I get for you?" She said how she usually did, not letting the surprise show in her voice. I mean- it is their dad's place aftet all. Michael looked up at Y/n and seemed to think for a moment before looking her up and down.

"What are you doing here?"

"Summer job. It pays well. But not for chit-chat, so may I get your order?" She clicked on her pen, taking the little notebook from her pocket and flipping a page, waiting patiently, just as Noel teached her. Michael looked back down at his siblings expectingly, but not getting an answer as they only stared up at Y/n.

"Evan? Lizzy? Are you listening?"

"Mikey, she has rings in her mouth!" Elizabeth pointed up at the snake bites piercings in the teenage girl's lips, turning to his older brother and bouncing a little in her seat. "Like you!"

"Yes, now- you know what, we'll just take..." he glanced at the menu. "Two kid's menus with ketchup and a medium grilled cheese salad with extra barbeque." He held his forehead and sighed.

"-Extra barbeque... Noted. Any drinks?"

"No, thanks." He waved her off.

"Okay. I'll be right back." She wavered off, going in the kitchen area and telling the order to a cook-bot. Michael stared at her as she walked to another table with a family of six, noticing the annoyed expression on her face before repainting it for a smile. He placed his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow keeping it up as he observed the girl.

"Mikey?" Came the small voice of his little brother. He sighed, turning to Evan, who was squeezing the life out of his fredbear plush, only humming back in a questioning way. "Who is she?"

"Yeah, Mikey, who is she? You seem to like her!" Michael's eyes widened as he immediately shushed his sister, looking around if the girl in question heard it.

"Can you two please keep it down?!" He wisper-shouted at them, leaning over the table a little. "She's just one of my classmates, and no, I don't like her like that!"

"But you mentioned a girl to Dad before."

"Yes, because we worked on a group project together with others and hung out once or twice with the group, but nothing more!" Evan and Elizabeth remained silent after that, patiently waiting for their food to arrive, while Michael scribbled on a piece of paper, glancing up from time to time at the girl speedwalking between tables. He quickly looked back down at his paper and put it away when he noticed the girl walking back to their table with all four plates stacked on her arms, holding the little freddy charms in her right hand before handing one to each kid.

"Two kids' menus with ketchup and a medium grilled cheese salad with extra barbeque sause."

"Yes, thank you." He glanced at his siblings expectingly before clearing his throat. They snapped their heads up before smiling up at Y/n.

"Thank you!" They said at the same time.

"Good. Now eat before Monty gets here and eats you instead!" He made a roaring sound in the direction of poor Evan, who digged his face in his plush. Lizzy just shook her head and turned to the older girl.

"Boys will be boys." Y/n chuckled at the little girl's humor, patting her head.

"You couldn't be more right." She smiled, turning to Micheal, who was messing up his little brother's hair. "Bon Appetit! And just call if you want something." And with that she walked away, grabbing more plates and placing it on the right tables. The kids started eating, but Michael took out his phone, reading the messages his friends sent in the groupchat.

"Who are you talking to?" Michael didn't answer his sister, just put his phone away and started eating.

Before Y/n could've known, she was already getting ready to head home on Friday and go to the party.

"Bye Noel! I'm going home!" She shouted as she headed out of the staff room.

"Bye kiddo! Have a nice weekend!" He waved at her as all the cook-bots looked up from what they were doing, all of them saying a quick "Bye Y/n" in uninion, which earned a slight giggle and a wave back from the girl. On her way out she ran into Foxy as usual, giving him a high-five and a friendly smile. Pirate Cove was always one of her favourite things in the Freddy Fazbear foodchain, aspecially since there usually wasn't many, if any children running around the enthusiastic fox animatronic. While she walked she messaged the groupchat, saying that she got off her shift and asking what the address was again, which turned out to only be one of her friends' house. When she got home, she immediately ran up to her room to change, packing only the neccesary things in her little backpack, quitely slipping in a bottle of vodka next to her phone's charger, change of clothes, pajamas appaerently as it was aquired by Jeremy, and wallet.

"I'm leaving and I'm taking my motor!" She shouted at her mom, closing the door after grabbing her motor's key. She went in their garage, taking her helmet and pushing the motorbike out, closing the garage and hopping on the vehicle, speeding off to her friend's house. When she arrived at the large house, she leaned the motor to the wall, ringing the bell. Jeremy opened the door after a minute. He was holding his phone in his other hand, an annoyed expression darking his face. "'Sup! What's with the sour face?"

"Greetings, Y/n. Mike just messaged me his car broke down, so he has to walk."

"Ask him where's he. I'll pick him up. Do you have a spare helmet?" Jeremy shoke his bead as he looked down at his phone, typing a text. "Then he'll use mine. Did he answer?" Jess and Oliver came down the stares, standing behind Jack. "Hey Ols, Hi Jess!" She waved at the pare.

"He's at the city courthouse. I told him to wait there, we're coming to get him."

"And by we, you mean me." Y/n glared and the shorter boy.

"Of course, you two have to confess your love sometime." He turned around, slamming the door after saying a quick "drive safe".

"Fucking srimp." She turned around starting back up her bike and driving off to the courthouse. It was a 15 minute drive and when she slowed down in front of the bulding, she saw Michael's figure sitting down on the staires. She stopped in front of him on the road, taking off her helmet. "Hop on whimp, they're waiting for us." He looked up, placing his phone in his bag and standing up.

"So this is what Jeremy meant by "we"." He stopped in front of the girl, not yet taking the helmet she was offering.

"Yeah, get on with it if you don't want to walk." She streched out her arm more, gesturing for him to finally take the helmet.

"Where's yours?"

"I only have one and passenger safety first, so will you stop whining and take the fucking helmet before I leave you here?" He huffed, accepting it and following her in sitting on.

"Since when do you have a motorbike anyway?"

"God, you do not stop asking questions, do you?" She started the bike, already driving back to the house. "Hold on to something. I wouldn't want a pretty boy like you to fell off."

"I might well just say that it's hot that you ride a bike if we're here." He smirked, carefully placing his hands right above her waist, trying not to invade her space too much.

"I'd say that it's not the only thing that I'm riding, but that would be lie." She bickered back when they stopped at a red light.

"We could change that." He slid his hands a bit lower, testing the waters. "You just have to say so, princess."

"Keep your hands and cheesy nicknames for yourself for now." She rolled her eyes, just as a car rolled up next to them, a young looking male rolling down the window and shamelessly staring at Y/n. Michael turned his head in the man's direction, squeezing her waist a little in a warning manner. She looked back at her passenger before following his gaze. Just as she looked at the car's rolled down window, the driver whistled.

"Hey there, doll. How about you drop that asshole down and pull over to give me your number?" She rolled her eyes, preparing to speed away from the catcaller.

"That asshole is my brother and the only number you'll be getting from me is thr number on your hospital bills if you don't shut up, bitch." She flipped him off and looked both way before continuing to drive.

"Why did you say I was your brother?" Michael asked after a minute of deafening silence between them.

"If I said you were my boyfriend he wouldn't have left us alone and we would be followed still. Catcallers tend to be more scared of a brother than a boyfriend. But your surprised face probably bailed on us." She chuckled, slowing as they entered the familiar neighbourhood.

"How many times do you get catcalled on a regular day?" He asked coutiously, softening on his grip.

"When I dress casually then usually zero. Revealing clothes are a bit different though but it still depends of what type of a guy I'm passing by." She explained. The boy behind her nodded, thinking a little.

"What type of guy I am?"

"That's a thing only you know." She stopped the vehicle, letting Mike get off first, then herself before turning to him. "But if you ask for my opinion, then I'm honest when I say that you look like a dick at first sigh, but I trust you to walk with you in a dark alleyway at night and dress like a slut and I wouldn't get called out on it or stared at one bit." She ran her fingers through her hair. "You're a nice guy Mike, any girl would be lucky to have a respectful partner like you." She smiled up at him, then walked to the door. Michael was just standing there, eyes wide and his cheeks reddening. He shook the strange feeling off, trying to slow down his pounding heart and followed her in the house. "We're back!"

"Good God, I thought you two pulled over to fuck or something. What took so long?" George shufled out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of chips. Y/n grimaced, taking a piece of the snack.

"We thought about it but we came to the conclusion that Jeremy's bed is probably confier." Michael shrugged, taking the house keys. "I'll go, put your bike in the garage."

"Thanks." George waited until the tall boy shut the door before elbowing the girl in her ribs.

"So? How was the ride?" She shrugged, searching the kitchen cabinets.

"We ran into a douchebag."

"Oooooh. Did he protect you?"

"Didn't need much protection." George hummed, eating more of the chips.

"I heard your little confession outside."

"It was hardly a confession. I just said he's nice and I trust him."

"And that any girl would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend." She blushed a little, giving up on finding more snacks, searching for cider instead. "I'm just saying that I see him eyeing you all the time. You two seriously need to talk a little heart to heart. Let yourself flow with the tides. You're basically a couple now, just didn't confess your feelings."

"I don't know George. He doesn't seem that interested in me. And even if he would like me, he deserves someone better anyway." The girl looked to the side, holding a twelve pack Summersby.

"For fuck's sake, there's noone better for him than you! You have so much similarities, same interests, trust, everything he needs and wants is in you!" They snapped their head in the direction of the stairs, looking at Matt who walked down.

"Where's that fucking bowl of chips, Geor- oh, welcome back. Looks like the lovebirds arrived. C'mon, we were about to start without you." Everyone walked up and into Jeremy's bedroom, Y/n placing the drinks down in the middle of the circle they sat down in.

"And I brought a spare bottle of vodka."

"Nice, can we start now?" Jeremy looked around, everyone nodding or shrugging. "Nice. But with what though?"

"Spin the bottle is unnecessary as we're by ourselves, so I suggest truth or dare." Jess stated, opening a bottle of cider.

"I wanna start." Oliver copied Jess' actions, looking around as he took a sip. "Jeremy."

"Ok, so now we know that Mike is afraid of fucking foxes, Oliver is an ex Dream SMP fan, Jess would fuck anybody, George plays Roblox in his free time, Y/n has her nipples pierced and Matt can play the flute. And I thought we knew everything about eachother." Jeremy fake sniffled. "But it's time we spice things up ladies and gentleman, so the girls can go to the bathroom to change." He pushed the girls out with her bags and shut the door behind them.

"I start to think that this was just an excuse so they could jack off." Jess laughed, taking her pajamas out of her bag, Y/n doing the same as she scoffed. "Ok I have to ask this. Do you really have nipple piercings?"

"Yeah." She answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are they healed?"

"I got them after my 16th birthday, so yeah, pretty much."

"I dare you to not wear a bra under that shirt." Jess smirked after she pulled up her pants. Y/n froze, slowly turning her head in her best friend's direction.

"Are you nuts?!

"Yeah, but HE's in there and you're super hot, so why not. And it's not like it's cold or something." The black haired girl thought for a second before turning her back to Jess and clipping off her bra, throwing it in her bag and pulling the oversized shirt over her head.

"There. Are you happy?"

"Yeah, and he will be too." Jess opened the door, stepping outside.

"I hate you so much." Y/n muttered, crossing her arms in front of her chest before they stepped back inside Jeremy's room. They boys were discussing something, all of them sitting in shorts and a shirt or tank top as they turned their heads towards the girls. Y/n hopped down between Matt and Oliver, Jess sitting on the other side of Jeremy, next to George.

"You're back. I thought you guys were gonna take a year." Matt commented, taking a sip of his drink.

"I'm sick of those type of girls, you know that."

"Can we continue? It's my turn." Oliver complained.

"Yeah, sure whatever."

"Mike." Oliver smirked, glancing at the three other boys who mirrored his expression.

"And you can't say truth, because you choose that for the last two rounds."

"Then why even ask? Just spit it out." He glared at the blond.

"I dare you to go to the other bedroom with Y/n. For at least fifteen minutes." The mentioned girl almost spat her drink out, founding herself in a coughing fit after.

"Why am I involved in this shit again?" She managed to croak out. "It's his dare, not mine!"

"Because I said so. Now go! The earlier you start you earlier you can get out." Oliver pulled her up and pushed her in the direction of the guest bedroom, Mike standing up on his own and following them after giving a death glare to Jeremy, George and Matt. "And try to be quiet!" And with that he shut the door behind them. Y/n sighed, hopping on the bed and crossing her legs, Michael sitting down on the other end of the bed.

"I might as well ask if we're here." He whispered after a long minute of silence. "Did you mean it? What you said outside?" Clare hugged her legs to her body, resting her chin on her knees.

"Yeah... I never really experienced real love and friendship until now, and you guys are very important to me, however weak that may sound. And I want you to be happy, whatever it takes."

"It doesn't make you weak, but an awesome friend."

"Mmmh."

"I also heard your conversation dowstairs with George." Y/n froze, her heart speeding up as slight blush covered her cheeks. "I don't know who you were talking about, but believe me when I say that guy is lucky as fuck. To have you fallen so much head over heels for him that you think you're less than perfect. And he's an idiot if he doesn't see it and not appreciate you for even a second."

"It's funny." Y/n chuckled, tears starting to cloud her vision.

"What?"

"You trashtalking yourself." Mike's heart skipped a beat as he stared in front of him with wide eyes. Y/n gasped, starting to get off the bed and wiping the tears. "Fuck, sorry, I'm gonna go." She ran out the door, the others snapping their heads at the harsh sound.

"No, wait, fuck. Y/n, come back!" Mike stood up, starting to step after the girl, but he was stopped by Jess running after her. The boys stood in front of Mike with a worried expression.

"How did you fuck up this time?"

"I didn't! She just didn't give me any time to answer before she ran out." The boys were silent as they looked at eachother with furrowed eyebrows.

"Answer to what?"

"Y/n? Y/n?!" Jess shouted after her as the black haired girl ran under the stairs and sat down, pulling her knees close. "Y/n?" She asked again softly as she searched for her. She finally walked to the stairs, looking under after she heard Y/n's muffled sniffles. She frowned at the sight of her best friend, mascara running down her red cheeks, her nose rosy and runy, trying to slow down her breathing. "Hey there. Can I sit down, so we can talk about it?" She only nodded as an answer and Jess didn't hasitate crawling next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, letting her sob into her pajama shirt. "What the fuck did he do? Do I need to beat him up?"

"No-no." She forced out after she slowed her breathing. "I was the one who fucked up. He said that he heard my conversation with George and said whoever the guy is we were talking, he's very lucky and an idiot if he doesn't see how much he means to me and I said that it's funny that he's trashtalking himself."

"And what did he answer to that?"

"I didn't let him. I told him and now we can never be the same. He probably dispises me if not hates me, he'll tell his dad and I'll get fired and our friendsgroup's gonna brake because he'll never talk to me again. I'm a failure just like my mother said." She started crying again. "I just- I just hope he'll find the perfect girl he deserves and be happy."

"That's you." Y/n squeezed Jess' arm at the sound of Michael's voice. "And your mother's a bitch for saying things like that to you. You're the kindest, sweetest, strongest, most beautiful and creative person I have ever met. You're not afraid of shit life punches you in the face with. Even after all the crap you've been through, you manage to smile every day, which can light up the whole world. Your laugh is adorable and could melt me on the spot. You bring meaning to my days, a reason to get up and keep going. I'm sorry I didn't answer right away, I was just surprised someone like you could have feelings for me." He stood up from sitting on the stairs, leaning down to look her in the eyes. He offered her a hand, helping her stand. He cupped her rosy cheeks, gentle thumbs wiping away the salty tears running down. "Can I?" He carefully pulled her closer, holding eye contact as she muttered a hazy "yeah", closing his eyes, leaning close, lips ever so softly touching hers. Her hands snaked up to around his neck, melting into the kiss. He grabbed her waist, gently pulling her closer as they forgot everything else existed, only foxusing on eachother, completely blocking out the cheers of their friends. She slowly pulled away, lingering in the feeling of his plump lips against hers, leaning her forehead against his. Y/n sighed, carefully opening her eyes and they met with his, making her dig her face in his shirt, hiding her red cheeks. After giving them a smug side-glance, Jess walked up the stairs, pulling the other four with her.

"C'mon guys, we gotta leave them alone for a bit. Let them have their moment." She whispered, tiptoeing back up to her twin brother's room.

"But I wanna hear what they talk about." George whined, pulling his wrist away from the girl's grip.

"Knowing Mike there won't be too much talking." Matt muttered, turning his head away to try and muffle his snicker.

"I meant every word I said, y'know." He whispered, comfortingly sliding his hand up and down her back slowly while staring at the wall over her head. "I know we haven't known eachother well for that long, and feel free to tell me to shut up if you feel uncomfortable, but god, I don't know what I would do without you. I get butterflies whenever I look at your smile or hear your laugh. You look so beautiful no matter what and I just want to make all your pain and insecurities go away. I could stare at you for hours without a single thought of ever looking away. You are truely entirely perfect in every way. Just the thought of someone else holding your hand like I want twists my heart... You mean a hella lot to me. A reason to keep going, put up with my shitty dad, get out of bed every day." He took a breath, afraid of saying anything else, fearing that his words will bring negative consequences. "What I'm trying to say is... I'm in love with you."There was a moment of silence before he felt her squeeze him thighter.

"I think I'm in love with you too. So fucking much."

If I made any mistakes, let me know! Hope you enjoyed anyway and have a wonderful rest of your day! <3

If there will be a part two and you'd like to added to the taglist, message me

#fnaf #michael afton #michael afton fluff #michael afton fanfiction #michael afton angst #michael afton x you #michael afton x reader #michael afton x y/n #michael afton x reader angst

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mega-ringsandthings-world · 6 months

Note

I'm back on my bullshit, and I'm about to make it everyone's problem! Sorry if everything's a bit scattered; I'm trying to get my thoughts in order, but I have so much stuff in my now overflowing brain folder. I'll have to sort it out later. Again take everything I say with a grain of salt I’m sure I will love your au wether I’ve got the right idea about it or not!

But oh my god! Your sketches are so good and clean—mwah, chef's kiss. And the sword before Yoru is peak "Hawk-boy has a type," and we all can see it. I wonder if he had it personally made to prepare to take on Yoru as a main blade later, if it existed at this time? Did he go through a catalog of specific special grade swords and go, "Mmm, yes, big blade!" and never look back? Sorry, off-topic, but he deserves a fancy, pretty blade, and those purple and pink jewels are very much like that for him and his vibe.

And huh, him showing Shanks kindness with the handkerchief! It's sweet, and Mihawk's already attached. Normally, Mihawk wouldn't have given Shanks the time of day until he could fight him, but adversity and the lack of autonomy have made him somewhat less controlled, or at least trying to gain some type of control, even if it's just making sure someone uses a handkerchief instead of their shirt. And Shanks, it kinda feels like Shanks already has a crush. He's emotionally defeated, devastated, and probably terrified, and here comes this guy, gruff and rude, but he doesn't ask about Roger, he doesn't want anything from Shanks, and he gives him something beautiful he made himself by hand, just so Shanks could wipe his tears and blow his nose. Fuck it all, I'd fall in love if someone did that for me.

They already feel so enmeshed; like the handkerchief sealed some type of pact with fate. Like the universe has turned and slotted these two together. And your wrote it so seemlessly! Shanks is vulnerable and unable to hide behind drinks, parties, and adventures. Mihawk is out of control, a big and main part of his character that later on becomes like a second skin. As much as he seems okay, this is pushing him into behavior that would likely be out of character if not under these circumstances. Gods, this is the type of character study I love! I will definitely be comparing and contrasting these two and their canon counterparts as they change, and the fic goes on. Tulips are probably about to become Shanks' favorite flower. And of course, Mihawk can embroider. He's a man of perfection and patience (ha, I can relate to that; never perfect indeed), and the delicate, slow needlework of embroidering sounds just right up his alley. Probably his form of meditation. I bet he does all the flowers on his shirts. I bet Shanks will tear his clothes in the future just so Mihawk will embroider flowers on them.

Now off to the boys for a second. Let's talk politics, specifically the revolutionaries. Are the revolutionaries going to be a big part of this fic? Because as you mentioned, the world government is about to commit an oopsie on the highest scale. Are some of those monsters going to be snatched up by Dragon and his revolution? Because this is about to radicalize a lot of people. A lot of powerful people. Hmmm, I wonder if he'll even be interested in what's happening to the pirates who got caught. He seems like a good and kind man, but a man who's willing to put the needs of the greater good over the needs of a few criminals. Pirates aren't exactly the good guys, so to speak, and if they were just headed for Impel Down, I don't think he'd do much for them. But I don't think that's where you're pulling this, and again, he is pragmatic and willing to mess up what the world government has planned. The oppressed, no matter their station or morals, are fellow oppressed, and I can see him looking into what the government's doing and maybe disrupting it to screw the government over. I don't know; just throwing thoughts out there.

But more importantly, in this AU, it seems that the Roger Pirates will be hunted even more than in canon, considering the Marines are on a mission to destroy piracy at the root, and a lot of would-be pirates they would have had to worry about just got snapped up! I don't think they'll be able to help Shanks even if they wanted to. And Garp, where's he in all this? On one hand, I can totally see him advocating for the eradication of the pirates and setting the trap. On the other hand, I'm not sure about him being so gung-ho about taking in Shanks and doing whatever the Marines plan to do with him. It might be a side plot for later, unless, once they get the prisoners, this all goes to Cipher Pol agents and out of the Marines' hands. Maybe this was their idea in the first place; it seems more up their alley than the Marines in general. Maybe a collaboration? Guess I’ll find out when I read.

But also, governments aren't good at mass arrests. How many civilians do you think got snapped up by accident?

Anyways, that's all I have for now. The art I promised should be posted tomorrow, hopefully; I just want to make a few adjustments. Should be all good. Also, do you have a playlist for this AU yet?

I'm pumped anytime I get your asks, hit away all you like! I love hashing this AU out like this. Most times you've hit it right on the head! I'm making it everyone's problem too. !! Glad you like them! Allow me to go on a moment, the 'before Yoru' sword is supposed to be modeled in appearances (jewels, handguard, inlaid blade) after a spanish or italian cusped falchion, and in utility, after the german kreigmesser. Based on appearances, they look closest to Yoru, and yeah, it's exactly 'Mihawk has a type.' He'd be the kind to find a design he likes and stick with it. Kreigmessers were military swords, used often by mercenaries, and used two-handed. Again, like Yoru. I think Mihawk would have obtained/made a sword suited to his fighting style, and that style does contain a lot of extended slashes. Yoru does exist, and I have a whole thing for how he will get it. Let's just say he becomes acquainted with it due to the marines. And yes. More pink and purple everything, actually. Those colors work for him so much. ^^ He's attached and he doesn't even know it himself. He thinks it's simply purely utilitarian, purely practical to make sure Shanks cleans up properly, but it's also to see what Shanks will do. If he'll refuse it, or be insulted, or double down, or turn his nose up at Mihawk's refinement. None of which Shanks does. And yes, also to retain control over the situation. If he has a handle on what is happening right beside him, it 'frees' him concentrate on the more severe aspects going on. Shanks does have a crush. Probably love from first handkerchief. Again, he doesn't know it yet either. Right now he's too steeped in grief, and he also would think Mihawk is out of his league. Still, Mihawk is his only sense of stability at the moment. Mihawk's indifference and stoic-ness is what will unwittingly keep Shanks sane, because at a time when he would have been drowning in despair, he instead is pressing back against Mihawk's opposite personality. And admiring his handkerchiefs. (A thing about the handkerchief, most sailors now how to sew, they have to. Shanks would know how to sew as well, which is why he isn't surprised at Mihawk making the handkerchief, but at it's prettiness. Shanks has never had the occasion to work beauty into the things he makes for himself. Also why he thinks a sweetheart made it for Mihawk) Just so! They don't have the mental armor of their older selves. They do not have the presence, the power, or the coping methods. They are not established. Mihawk is so young, nineteen is nothing, really, and the sympathy and care we only see bare glimpses of in his older self is not sealed away as it is then. At this age, he's haughty, but that is a projection of haughtiness as much as anything. Pitting older and younger against each other is so fun in that regard! Oh, that's for certain. Tulips become and remain his favorite flower. I embroider, and embroidering is relaxing, but requires focus, so perfect hobby for Mihawk. And he gets to use something sharp and pointy. His perfectionism is perhaps what leads to him taking up embroidering and even actual tailoring in the first place, he'd want total say over how he decorates/designs his things/clothes. And YES to Shanks deliberately making Mihawk have to mend his clothes. got to make a pt. 2

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jq37 · 1 year

Text

Twice Upon a Time - Neverafter Ep 7

Trouble in Tuffeton

Hoo, boy. Welcome back to Dimension 20 where we have for you today, 3/4ths of a normal episode and then the wildest 25 minutes of your entire life–but more on that second part later.

For now, we’re where we left off–with our intrepid and slightly monstrous heroes just having brought Little Miss Muffet back to mostly normal. She’s still sporting a spider head, but she’s no longer feral. In fact, she’s pretty scared to be in a spider’s web. Which is ironic cause she wrapped everyone in her village up in spider silk cocoons. Awkward!

Before they head out, the group decides to search for the magical artifacts they were told Muffet was amassing, and Ger does best. Here’s what he finds:

A LOT of dead people that he instantly lies escaped to protect the children and especially Muffet

A velvety black cloak with stars embroidered inside

A ghillie suit/cloak that can disguise you as a pile of grass and leaves

A golden bridle (my mind jumps to the taming of Pegasus)

A mirrored, obviously magical sword with the word “Veritas” on it. Siobhan–resident Latin understander–translates that to “truth”

When Ger uses the sword to test it out, Brennan makes him do a Wis save. He gets a 13. With that, Brennan asks if he sees himself more as a frog or a human at that point. Ger says that him being a frog is what’s getting him through this awful experience alive so, right now, he’s actually feeling pretty froggy. And, likewise, he sees his reflection as he is–slimy and amphibious.

Puss checks his spider ring and sees that it’s pointing towards the entrance. As they follow it, they see a lot of spiders are returning to the cave now that Muffet has been taken care of, including Itsy Bitsy who drops off his stuff then goes to try and climb the water spout again.

They follow him out where it’s still raining and Muffet looks up sadly to the hill where she used to eat by herself every day. Everyone says they’ll gladly eat with her and as she smiles, the rain stops falling. It’s the first sun they’ve seen the Time of Shadows began.

And, much like in the fairy tale, with the sun out, the Itsy Bitsy spider gets to the top of the spout. Time goes to record his story and asks if he wants to be put into the book. The Spider, in what sounds like a clear “Pay Attention You Guys, This is a Major Theme” asks if it’s such going to be all sunshine all the time in the book. Because while he likes the sunshine more than the rain, he likes his resilience in the face of the rain and maybe he should bring some rain with him.

The Spider, as he’s very small and he thinks he’d be more helpful as a story, is about to choose the book when Tim (and really Ally it feels like lol) slams the book, to Brennan’s surprise and is like nooooo you have so much value out here! Let’s work on your self-talk. So the spider tags along but, because his story is in the book, Tim gets a new spell that is too high level for him to access yet.

(Btw: Brennan and Ally explain that Goose gets a new spell when he writes down someone’s story. So far he has the spell he doesn’t have access to yet, Jump (I assume from the Cow), Expeditious Retreat (from Jack), Lesser Restoration (from I believe King Cole), and Calm Emotions (the only other person I can remember him sending to the book is the Dish? Or I guess it could also be Muffet since he did write her story. Edit: Cindy too but does that count since it was second hand via an object?)

After this, Tim goes with the rest of the group to distract Muffet while they search the town for cocoons. Tim spots them then leads Muffet away so she doesn’t have to see any of this.

The group takes down the cocoons which are stuck up in the rafters and crack em open. Inside, are the citizens of the town–blessedly alive but VERY freaked out. Our heroes try to claim that this is all the result of a platonic adult sleepover gone wrong (Ally: Roll for Gaslight) to mixed results.

Meanwhile, Tim is trying to give Muffet a pep talk while the screams of her victims ring out in the background. She’s not super feeling the pep. Tim asks how it felt when she became the spider monster and she says it was weird. She was on the hill and then the spider showed up but it was bigger than it should have been. She says that things have felt weird, but she doesn’t know why–a common refrain of citizens of this world. Then, she starts to get a little meta. She says that it struck her all of a sudden that the fact that she’s scared of spider is the only thing anyone knows about her. Maybe the curds and whey thing also. It felt like she was only one thing and not even really that. And that felt messed up. Sounds like someone being cursed with the burden of meta awareness to me.

Back with the townspeople and the rest of the party, everyone is about ready to start the Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast and form a spider hunting party but Pinnochio casts suggestion on the mayor of the town (Mayor Harold Hopps) and gets him to back up the adult sleepover gone wrong version of events. With that sorted, it’s now party time!

The sun sets and the stars come out. There’s a call for perception checks that doesn’t seem to yield anything (highest roll was a 17). The townsfolk bring out alcohol and curds and whey for all in their party location–the Golden Chair tavern.

Ger and Red have a sidebar because Ger is NOT loving Red’s self talk. He says she’s not a monster and, while she appreciates the sentiment, she’s like, come on, you know what’s it like to feel like a monster or else you wouldn’t be trying to turn back into a prince. Ger concedes she has a point but when she asks if he still would still have loved Elody if she had a spider’s head, he thinks he would have. He didn’t just love her for her beauty. He loved that she was rebellious and fascinating and love him as he was. He thinks that maybe once he became handsome, he stopped trying so hard to be anything but that. Red says that it’s strange that Ger is kind of leaning into the non-prince thing because all the best stories are about princes and princesses and Ger–really leaning into the meta vibe of this ep–says that stories usually end once you become a prince or a princess. Roz, who is going through it, pops in to chime in that true love isn’t real–something she as a full adult at 18 would know–and we jump to Tim.

Tim hears writing in his book and sees that Scher is writing to him. She says thanks so much for helping. She and her companions escaped the cave, picked up some new allies, and found a handy doorway to take them all to a new world. She asks if Tim knows of a place called the Land of Beasts and Birds and when Tim says no, that confirms to her that it’s another realm like the Never After and the Endless Nights. (My guess is it’s the Aesop world since he’s all about animal fables.) She tells them to sit tight and, when she can, she’ll open the doorway to them. Tim messages this info to Ger because he’s the only other real adult in the party and everyone else is dancing.

Pinnochio, specifically, is pole dancing using his nose as a pole.

(Puss: Slay Pinocchio, slay.

Roz: Oh, she’s vogueing.)

Anyway.

Tim then goes to Muffet to talk to her magical spoon which we learn is the one that the Dish ran away with (I wonder if that’s what Brennan always had planned or if he just did it because that’s what they figured was going on and why not?)

The Spoon says that yes, she had a tryst with the Dish but it was a mistake and she doesn’t wanna go into the book. Everything in the rhyme is true, but she doesn’t want that to be her whole story. Again, like I said, this ep gets very meta, and we’re not done.

Pinocchio mentions his time at the Land of Toys (aka Pleasure Island in the Disney version) and when Muffet marvels at how long his story is, he says that the story is basically about growing up and actions having consequences and everything being very black and white. Everyone else starts thinking about their stories and Roz thinks about how she has little agency in her story. Puss thinks he doesn’t have much to do in his story once it ends.

Tim wonders if he can do anything to change their stories–he is a writer with a magic book after all. He writes in the book that Pinnochio is free and able to have fun and the book throws a fit. The ink shakes and shudders and is swallowed into the page. Then it starts raining. Tim tells the rest of them what happened and says maybe this is something he can do in the future, but not yet. Pinnochio is like, thanks but I think this is the path I need to be on right now. After all, it’s where his mom wants him.

Speaking of, Tim wonders if Pinnochio’s stepmom has anything to do with the rain starting up again–defeating Muffet was supposed to stop that.

Roz tries to put her spindle into the book to see what happens and the book accepts it, writing her story as it is in this reality–with 7 fairies. But, like Cinderella, her story is interrupted (though not at Happily Ever After, at falling asleep) and then there are two blank pages and an illustration of the spindle. Strange.

Puss goes to the bar and sees two burly men he doesn’t recognize from freeing the townsfolk. He sees them whispering to each other then going upstairs. He follows them and a lot happens to I’m gonna go to bullets.

He hears two cloaks being put on the bed.

He hears a tearing sound and then the noise of something heavy and almost wet hit the ground.

Then he hears thin hollow voices and the lighting of a match.

It was dark when they walked in and now light is seeping under the door.

A voice asks why the rain came back and the voices (who call this person “mistress”) say that they saw a witch writing in a book and then the words freaked out.

The voice is like “Hmm, curious,” and asks what was being written about. When they say a wooden boy, the voice recognizes that it’s Pinnochio. She says that what happened is “dangerous” and they should stop him from writing more, kill him, and leave the book.

Puss hears a wet noise like something sharp and angular straining against something “slick and horrifying”. Then he hears cloaks being picked up from the bed.

Puss runs like hell and finds Tim. He gets Tim to message him and is like, so funny story, these men want you dead. The message is disseminated amongst the group and they all get into position. Tim goes outside to lead them out and everyone else follows or goes to an upstairs window to get a high vantage point.

As soon as they’re in position, Puss attacks without waiting and misses, but Ger’s ability lets him get another hit in and he aces it with a Nat 20 that causes a full death blow. First of the campaign! As he kills this dude, he realizes that it’s a twig and wood skeleton under a flesh skin. Gross! The plant matter inside these guys is familiar to Roz as the brambles she’s familiar with. So it seems like these guys are some kind of plant constructs and the weird sounds Puss heard were them taking off and putting on their skin suits. Again, gross!

They don’t seem to be human and the rest of the party is able to dispatch the other one in short order. Puss explains what he saw and they go to the room to check it out.

OK, so, this is when the last fourth of this ep kicks in and it turns into a Whole Other Thing. You have been warned.

They go into the room and it is destroyed. The only thing that looks OK is a small table with a silver platter on it. In the silver platter is a small amount of water and a blood red candle burned most of the way down. It’s perfectly centered in the water.

Ger puts the truth sword over the candle and the reflection shows the candle is lit, even though it doesn’t appear to be. Tim’s 20 arcana check tells him that the candle is a spell somehow.

Roz smells petrichor and iron and rot. It smells like the bad fairy–which is interesting because iron is usually fairy bane. Maybe the iron is blood?

Ger blows out the seemingly unlit candle and it lights the torches on the wall. They realize that the candle being lit probably somehow impedes other light sources.

Pinocchio casts Faerie Fire to suss out if anyone invisible is in the room and no one is revealed but the spell lights the candle and casts the room in a shimmery light. Pinocchio has a weird feeling, like one of his strings attaches to the candle.

The candle asks who he wants to speak to–everyone hears this and sees his string by the way. Pinnochio knows that his mom has his strings and wonders if this candle is somehow connected to his mom.

Roz, in a throwaway line that is actually the turning point of the episode, asks if they can talk to PInnochio’s mom. Pinnochio is like, uh OK, yeah. Sure. You guys can meet my mom. And the Roz is swiftly shoved into a closet by Tim so she’s not seen. Which is very funny considering that this was her idea and it goes…

Uh…

Interestingly.

“You watch as something terrible unfolds” Brennan says, which I have to add to the same list as, “I’m about to describe something heartbreaking” from Sophomore Year.

The candle sputters and Pinnochio hears a garbled voice say, “I did not summon you to speak to me.”

Roz and Pinnochio see the face of the bad fairy they both recognize in the candle flame. The door to the hall flies open and Pinnochio sees the silhouette of his mom in the doorway–everyone else sees this for the first time. If feels wrong to see and I’m just gonna quote Brennan because I can’t do these lines justice in summary:

“You are seeing something you absolutely should not see–the face of a divinity you don't worship, the smile of a devil you never believed in.”

AHHHHHHHHH.

Pinnochio is standing in such a way that he’s blocking the fae in the flame from his stepmom in the door and he has to choose if he wants to look at his mom or keep blocking the fae from her. Also, because of the lighting conditions here, it seems like he’ll actually be able to see her and not just her shadow.

He chooses to look at his mom.

As he does, Ger tosses him the truth sword. Light reflects on the sword and fully illuminates the stepmother. As this happens, the room grows strange. It doesn’t feel like they’re in the inn anymore. It’s like they’re in a place out of place.

The wicked fairy sees the stepmother properly, screams HORRIFIED, and does a full Oedipus–no, not that part, the other part. She PLUCKS HER EYES OUT. The candle goes out.

Brennan asks who wants to look at the stepmom after that.

All of the adults are like FUCK NO but the kids–Red and Pinnochio, choose to look.

(Note: Muffet is also there wildly and doesn’t look. Ally: Where has this bitch been in initiative?)

Anyway, both kids have to make a Cha save. They both get the help action.

Red fails with a 6–unsurprising since the AxMurph dice pool has been rolling *garbage* this episode (Murph, repeatedly: This die is RE-TI-RED!)

Pinnnochio passes with a 21.

Red gets three red tokens. Three. Dying gives you one. Looking at this person gives you THREE.

Thanks, hate that!

The stepmom in her full glory is an eldritch abomination made up of shifting visions of malice and spite. Brennan describes her sneer splitting off into a second mouth so she can sneer further over and over almost fractally. Beneath her skin are hundreds of beings crawling–countless stories and people she’s eaten.

Brennan asks whether her mom or grandma is who comes to mind first. Emily, fully knowing she’s about to get hurt, says in Red’s good natured casual tone that Grandma is always on her mind.

She suddenly sees her grandma appear and Pinnochio’s stepmom grabs her, and bites her head and shoulders off, and swallows her. She asks if this is real and Brennan says it feels real in the way that a nightmare feels real. “Grandmother,” she says. “Close enough.”

Pinnochio sees something trying to burst from his mom’s cheek–a woman in a crown–but she licks it back up with her tongue and swallows. First of all, awful. Second of all, giving me Kronos eating his kids vibes. Third of all, is this maybe the queen from Snow White? We know there’s some connection between Pinnochio and/or his mom and this Queen because of the Mirror conversation. Anyway, enough analysis, back to the horrific event already in progress.

The stepmother is furious that Pinnochio called her rather than waiting to be called.

“You don’t open a door to me. I open a door to you. I was not ready to speak with you, impudent boy. Now you have truly outlived your use.”

Everything has been happening in bullet time. Brennan finally asks for a check to catch the thrown sword. Pinnochio gets the help action from Ger and picks Acrobatics as the check.

He rolls a Nat 1.

*AND* a Nat 20.

God, the dice love a story. Y’all.

The stepmother throws the Pinnochi’s strings back on to him and he’s flooded with pain. He grabs the sword–the sword of truth in the hands of the boy known for lying–and he cuts his strings.

Ṙ̶̞̀͑̓̎̏̊̈́͛ě̸͔̟͙͕͕͙͕̱̩̟̩̻̐̉̐̈́͠͠a̴͕̘̭̺̯̮͉̩͙̳͇̰̼͓͌̈́͋͋l̵̡͚̬̞̙͉͕̩̬̘̐͊̈́̇̒̿̌̍̈̓̌̽̃i̵̛̝̓̽̑̽̔͗̆͝t̴͕̠̠̖̲̻̼̜͊y̴̡̮̺̪͍̠̭̫̱̲̖͕̣̠̾̇̉̔͜ ̷̢̤̞̺̙̱̞̝̽̆̆͠Ş̴̡̳̭̱͚͇̗͈̈́̏͗̃͗̈́̓̕͜͠ͅh̸̜̻̫̙̳̘͔̬͔͆̈́̈́̽̌̕͜ǡ̷͔̩̎̽̇̀̚ţ̸͍̮̟̼̘̊͑͗̎͌̈͗͗̏̓̅̽́̎͂͜t̴̘͇̯̳̞̮̓͗̅͆͒́́̾̏̿̑̕̚e̶̢̧̡̖͕̻̟̪̯̭͆̈̿̑̈́̚r̴̡͖͉͍̾̎͛̆̃̍̏͊̽̊s̶̡̨̺̦̰̳̯̠̅́͗͑̈́͗͗̉̽̑̄͛́͘͜.̴̨̳͍̹̪̮̩̦̥̩͉̘͕̣͍̈̏́͋̌̾̇̀

The editing goes insane.

The heroes are freefalling through pages of their stories, all on fire. The stepmother is screaming and chasing after them. It reminds me a lot of Coraline being chased down the hall by the Other Mother.

Pinnochio’s strings are returned to him (which, I am curious about considering he’s a warlock–we’ll see how that goes).

“Worse than death, worse than the end of stories!” the Stepmother howls.

She sucks in, inhaling all the pages in a weirdly Big Bad way, but before she can exhale, a golden door opens from Tim’s book.

A golden rope is lassoed around them, they are pulled into the door, and it shuts. The stepmother is gone.

On the other end of the rope is Scher plus SInbad and his crew.

“What the fuck was that?” Scher asks.

BITCH, GREAT QUESTION.

And we’re gonna have to wait until next episode to start further unpacking this because I’m barely getting it in under the wire.

In conclusion, AHHHHHHHHHHHH.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #never after #never after spoilers #spoilers #twice upon a time #d20 #this isn't 100% edited for typos and such bc I am in class and getting this out there before tmrw's ep #but I think it's alright and I'll edit it properly tmrw if a have a chance!#God how wild is this ep y'all?#inSANE #that last 25 mins made me crazy

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kaytrawrites · 1 year

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Love knows no binds

Summary In which Tommy thinks about the past

Notes So, this started as something about oRanboo and became this. Hope I got the characterizations right! XD Also, bless demonadelem for doing like 87% of the heavy lifting on the 'backstory' of Wilbur's Phantom status in his Origins’ Origins comic. (Seriously go read it here. It’s very good :D )

Story

Tommy pushed up the edge of his floppy hat as he watched Ranboo traipse across the bridge toward the ladder up to the Pub.

He narrowed his eyes at her improbably pristine attire. Practical knee high boots, a lacy button down, an embroidered silk vest and flounced silk knee length skirt that emphasized the Enderian slender build. And of course her cozy deep purple cloak.

And somehow she always managed to stay a perfect temperature. Unlike Mr Tommy Innit who never left his home without a binder. Yeah, half the time his father was running around without his, but that was Phil's choice.

As for Wilbur; Tommy grimaced, remembering the last living moments he had spent with his brother.

Hetta pushed her head through the gap between Tommy's elbow and the side of his chest. He cuddled his eldest daughter, his attention turning back to the lanky Enderian 'princess' that was teleporting between the islands up to the Pub.

Her newfound confidence in her skin was a recent development. Probably ever since she had taken the step to start wearing more skirts? Or it might have been a bit further back to when Niki, Shubble and Trixtin had gotten a hold of Ranboo and tried some cosmetics on her?

Or it might have even been before that… A time after Tommy had met her. He couldn't pin down when. Just that it had happened, and that she was happier now.

It kinda hurt a little bit to see one of his good friends so comfortable in her own body when he wasn't entirely satisfied with his own. But blah-de-blah cultural pressures to present a certain way and all that.

Tommy gently stroked Hetta's red hair. She was getting pretty big now. He would need to dig out some of his old clothes for her soon. Maybe check with Beau if she had some old stuff that Hetta would like.

Hetta sighed happily. "Dad." She started, turning and looking up at her father. "Why does Grandfather Philza sometimes have boobs and sometimes doesn't?"

Tommy snerked, caught off guard by the question. "Wot? Now where did that question come from?" He exclaimed.

Hetta shrugged. "Just curious about Grandfather Philza's Phiddies." Her last words drew a snort of amusement from her father.

Tommy took a breath. "Well, your Grandfather sometimes wears what is called a 'Binder'. We Elyrians and Avians use them to smooth out our flight muscles."

"A binder…" Hetta spoke slowly. "Why?"

"Ah." Tommy paused, thinking back to when he himself asked his father and older brother that question. "Well, some use it to put pressure on the flight muscles to prevent tears. Some use it because they like the way it looks. And long ago…"

He trailed off, remembering the history he had been taught about it.

"Long ago Elytrians wore it to help other species to differentiate between males and females." He finished. It wasn't the whole story. Just the beginning. And Tommy didn't want to tell Hetta. Yet.

Someday.

Not today.

She will learn someday. But till then, Tommy was determined to let her see the world as a good place for at least one more day.

"What about Uncle Wil?" Hetta asked.

Tommy smiled at the thought of the expressions that Wilbur would make at being called 'uncle'. "Well. Your Uncle Wil can't use his wings to fly anymore like your grandpapa can. So he doesn't use a binder."

"Ohh." Hetta nodded, her expression as somber as a smiley little Avian could make it. "Why did he stop flying like Grandfather Philza?" She asked.

"Ah." Tommy paused, considering how to answer. "Well. A while back when your papa was about your age."

"So, a loo~ong time ago!" Hetta exclaimed.

Tommy gently booped his daughter on the nose. "Not that long ago, chickling." He smiled, but it quickly dropped as he kept talking. "When I was about your age, your Uncle Wil got really sick. He had been hurt. Really badly."

"But he got better!" Hetta nodded. "Cause he's here now!"

Tommy shook his head. "No chickling. He didn't. He got a lot worse. Your grandpapa and grandmama scoured the land and seas searching for what is referred to as an Enchanted Golden Apple. It was supposed to have incredible healing properties."

"Did they find it?" Hetta asked. "They must have!"

"They did." Tommy nodded. "But it was too late. When they arrived home. It was too late for its power to work fully."

Hetta cocked her head, looking up at her father with her large blue eyes.

"For a moment, your Uncle Wilbur was gone. Then he began Changing. He Changed from an Avian into the Phantom uncle you know and love." Tommy gently ran his talons through Hetta's hair.

"Now. Enough with the sad backstory!" Tommy scooped up his eldest daughter. "How about we go see if we can 'scam' a few ice creams out of someone for all of us."

Hetta giggled as Tommy hefted her onto his shoulder. Her little hand rested on the top of his head and her slight talons lightly massaged his scalp. "Onward!" She declared.

The two managed to commander a few ice creams for the family and were heading home past Wilbur's little cottage.

The sound of something heavy falling over followed by angry expletives made the pair pause. "You al'right there Wil?" Tommy called out.

"Yes!" The silence hung there for a moment while Tommy took a lick of his ice cream. "No." Came the much quieter correction.

Tommy looked down at Hetta. "Well? Shall we go help Uncle Wil?" He asked his daughter who was currently trying to lick mostly melted ice cream off her nose.

Hetta nodded excitedly and nearly pulled her father over as she took off toward the ajar door to Wilbur's basement.

Wilbur was sprawled inelegantly over a toppled low stool, sans shirt. An old familiar article of clothing was on his torso, obviously too small for the lanky phantom to the point where it obviously wouldn't fasten. But it seemed that Wilbur had been trying anyway.

Tommy and Hetta stared down at Wilbur, who let out a defeated sigh. "I can feel your judgment from here…" He grumbled into the floor.

Tommy burst into laughter, needing to basically fold in half. "Wil you look absolutely ridiculous!"

"I know that Tommy!" Wilbur snapped back. He half sank into the floor, righting himself in his floating state. "Help me get this off."

Tommy wiped a tear from his eye and started to help his older brother get the old binder off. When they were done, Wilbur tossed the offending bit of cloth across the room. "Fuck that." He grumbled, his words contrary to the slight smirk on his face.

Tommy took a step back and stared at his brother. He had changed. Slightly.

"Your flight muscles are coming back?" Tommy said, each word sticking on his tongue.

Wilbur nodded, turning away to look for his sweater. "Dad has been helping me relearn how to fly. Watch this!" He paused and slowly extended his right arm. His right wing smoothly followed the motion, rather than the slow jerky movement that had been ever present since Wilbur's Change.

And for a moment, Tommy saw Wilbur's old golden-brown feathers overlaid over the blued skin of Wilbur's skeletal wing.

"Uncle Wil! Does this mean you'll be able to fly with Dad and Grandfather Philza?" Hetta looked up at Wilbur.

Wilbur smiled and scooped up his little niece. "Soon. And if you keep calling me 'Uncle' I will cry." He gently booped Hetta's nose. Wilbur glanced over at his little brother, who was rubbing at his eyes. "Well? Come on then!" Wilbur said, holding his free arm open for Tommy.

Tommy gladly took the invitation and thumped into Wilbur's chest, drawing an "oof" from his older brother. "Wil, if you cry, I'm gonna cry…" He mumbled.

Wilbur patted Tommy's head. "I missed flying with dad, and I promised that I would fly with you someday."

Tommy nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah you did."

End Notes Speaking of binders, don't forget to take a break from yours! I know that it makes you feel much gender, but it's still a tight article of clothing, and your body could use a break sometimes.

#my fic #mcyt #origins smp #osmp #osmp tommy #osmp ranboo #osmp philza #osmp wilbur #osmp hetta

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mar-the-magician · 2 years

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Redacted Asmr Fashion Headcanons!

Both Ash and Gavin view developing a personal style as a matter of self-care (I'm totally not projecting right now) but in very different ways. Ash is a thrift store GOD. He knows where to find all the best-stocked stores and he knows all the methods for making sure you do not miss out on a single styling piece that has potential. While Ash stocks up on basics that mix and match fantastically, Gavin is more of a statement pieces kind of fellow. His wardrobe is full of glitter, sequins, thigh-high socks, platform boots, and bright colors. Don’t get me wrong, he DOES have his basics… in the very back of the closet. Only to be used when absolutely necessary. XD His go-to "casual" outfit is a pair of neon pink leggings and a MASSIVE oversized t-shirt that slips off both shoulders and goes down to his knees. Not exactly fashion related, but whatever it my post I can do what I want— Gavin is and absolute chapstick and lipgloss ADDICT. He has a specific, almost-clear, peachy pink-tinged, all natural (yes he is THAT bitch) not-tested-on-animals lipgloss that he wears virtually every day. He puts chapstick on every night before bed and has an entire bin of all his different flavors, colors, etc of chapstick. He would 100% wear a choker with a bell on it and clip on cat ears solely for the purpose of flustering someone and/or creeping them out. Two piercings in each earlobe, generally just wears hoops or little rings if he’s feeling more boring.

Asher isn't quite as out there as Gavin, but he also thinks that if anybody is going to judge him for his fashion choices they can just fuck right off. He loves layering— vests, halters, overalls, biker jackets, belts, corset tops and micro mini skirts over pants when he's feeling more adventurous, leg warmers, body chains and fingerless gloves are his Thing. He takes inspiration from a LOOOT of different aesthetics and it really just depends on his mood— alt, cottagecore, goblincore, 80s, light academia, romantic academia, aaaaalllll that good stuff. His favorite casual outfits would consist of smol t-shirts that say something about him (band t-shirt, show merch, etc) paired with baggy jeans, maybe with some patches or rips. Asher. Adores. Jewelry. You KNOW this man owns fifty thousand rings!!! He’s always wearing at LEAST two rings. He often wears those little netting black chokers and owns like three different pop tab necklaces, at least one of which is homemade. Speaking of, he’ll often make his own stuff! He can’t sew, but he’ll hack the sleeves off of a jacket or crop some jeans into shorts no hesitation, and is always painting designs on plain t-shirts and making jewelry out of discarded trash or unwanted beads. He and Milo went to get their ears pierced together when they were both teens. They both like studs the most, but while Milo generally sticks to round black or small silver studs, occasionally mixing it up with some tiny gold or silver rings, Ash has a whole collection of funky studs. Hello Kitties, pokéballs, little fried eggs, lemons, little puppy footprints, moons in all phases, stars, all manner of fruit, tiny sushi’s, tiny pizza slices, metallic strawberries, fuckin mermaids, nothing is too wacky for this man. Baabe gets him a new pair every chance they get.

Milo likes fashion but feels like the community is too competitive and unwelcoming to really get into it. He’ll often tag along to Asher and Baabe's thrift store trips, but he generally just ends up getting… ANOTHER denim or leather jacket. Yeah, this man owns a LOT of denim and leather jackets. He also has a massive, ever-growing collection of enamel pins with which to abuse said jackets. He owns a trench coat solely because it makes him look more intimidating on jobs, according to him. Milo CAN sew, and will embroider little embellishments on the cuffs of his jeans and the collars of his shirts 🥰. He does it to calm himself sometimes, and what it ends up being often completely depends on his mood and what media he’s consumed recently. He has jeans with spiders on the hem, with little howling wolves, with times trees, with bats, with daisies, with paw prints, with stars, even ones with little hearts. It annoys the shit out of him when Asher asks him to modify his clothes "I'm not ya personal tailor, Ash!!" but he’ll do it anyway, with enough weedling. His favorite casual outfit is just an old college tee, a Melanie Martinez shirt, or a Shaw Security shirt paired with a comfy old worn-out pair of jeans that he embroidered LITERALLY all over with whatever he was thinking of at the time.

David really doesn’t care about "fashion" per se, but he likes to feel put together. He generally wears polo shirts and nice jeans on a casual day, a button up and nice slacks on a more formal day, and will add a tie or even a blazer on the most formal of events. The only time Angel approves of his fashion is when he wears flannels with the sleeves rolled up in the fall and winter. 😏

WOW THAT WAS LONG so if anybody wants a part two with the rest of the D.A.M.N boys, Vincent, Sam, Camilopardalis, and maybe William, please let me know!

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fizzingwizard · 9 months

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first the good news:

went back to that new store I found and bought 1) some blocks that spell Halloween, 2) an autumn-themed embroidered place mat, and 3) a ceramic pumpkin house!! you're meant to put a candle in it but I'm gonna put my Little My figurine <3 I want to make an autumn and Moomins display this year. All of it cost me less than 1000yen, and there were lots of other cute things too, so I'll probably go back. I couldn't buy any mushroom- or ghost-themed things this time and I really want some. Also this will motivate me to finally clean up that one corner of my apartment which has been taken over by cardboard boxes.

now work-related bitching (looong rant)

It's amazing how fast I can go from feeling more or less okay to super duper stressed

We're on a prep/PD week (among other things). Usually, we use this week to clean our classrooms, prepare class decor and activities for the new term, have event meetings, and do the bulk of the prop- and artwork for our sports festival next month. This is because when we have the kids at the school, there is no space anywhere to spread out and work, or let things dry, etc. We have to paint big banners as well as our own T-shirts.

However, this year, the T-shirts and banners didn't come in on time. I don't know if they are late or we were late ordering them. We might get the T-shirts tomorrow, but it seems unlikely we'll see the banners for a while. Which is really annoying because the banners are big and really need to be painted without kids around. My classroom in particular has kids in it literally all day. We do both naptime and morning/afternoon supervision in, and occasionally snack. On the days we don't do snack in my room, I still can't use my classroom to paint the banner, because I will 100% definitely be on snack duty. (That whole understaffing thing you know.) So yeah, as I've whined about before, I never ever ever have my classroom to myself, so doing things like cleaning it properly and decorating it is made infinitely more difficult.

So I'm already backed up with that - two more things I'll have to figure out a way to do sometime in September. I also couldn't do a lot in my classroom because the leaders used it aaaall day for meetings today. I spent the time decorating the hallway instead. If anyone comes at me for making decorations instead of organizing my classroom, I'll explode. I can't fix up a classroom if I'm not allowed inside it.

What's truly pissing me off, though, is I did as much work as I thought I had to do before I started decorating - I made posters and emails I needed to do, I had meetings about the two events I'm currently leading, and I prepped four crafts including going to the store and using up our budget. I don't like to be behind. When I have something to do, I try to get it done as quickly as possible, one because I might forget about it otherwise (out of sight, out of mind), and two because I hate having things looming over me as more work piles up as it definitely will.

But then we have this meeting and my coworker, who is a sports festival leader, is like here are the due dates for sports festival stuff. And one of the due dates is... tomorrow?? I said since when and I think she said that she told us at the "meeting earlier this week." I say I think she said so because it makes no sense to me, as we didn't have such a meeting, so I'm wondering if she meant a different meeting we had two or three weeks ago, when we did in fact discuss some roles and dates. However, when I talked to other coworkers who were at the meeting, they also were unsure when she had told us the dates or what meeting she was talking about.

But like I said, we did at some point talk about what needed to be done. Maybe we did or didn't hear confirmed dates, but it's stuff we do every year, so we knew it was coming. (I mean half the staff are brand spanking new so they know absolutely nothing... which probably contributed to the misunderstanding... but anyway) So then I was like, if that's the case, how did I mess up? Because I don't usually forget this stuff, if something is my responsibility it gets done sooner rather than later so I don't have to think about it anymore. So looking into it, I think there is some confusion (or at least I'm confused) about the way things are being handled this year. Generally we all take charge of our own class's workload for the festival. But this year there was a sign up sheet for who wanted what role. It was never formally announced who got it, so there's just like five people all signed up to write the script x'D and only two to make the programs etc. Also, to me, if someone signs up to make the script, for example, that means they are going to put the scripts that each class writes for their own class together - not write the script for all the classes. That's an enormous amount of work for one person, not to mention classroom teachers usually want to write our own class script. But I'm wondering if I misunderstood, because after I freaked out after the meeting and did a lot of that sort of work to meet the deadline of tomorrow, another coteacher who is also a sports festival leader came to me and said "That bit is my job, you don't have to worry about it." But 1) how can it be just her job when both me and our third coworker need to talk it over together before she can finalize it and we haven't done that? and 2) if it is individual teacher's job, how come when I checked the progress today, no one had done anything?? The deadline chosen by the leaders is tomorrow, and even the leaders hadn't done anything yet...?

Also there is a heavy reliance on Google Chat for sharing information, but rather than organize it all in a specific chat just for the festival, it's all randomly tangled in our usual group chat, which makes finding things and keeping up with things even harder (I already don't find Google Chat conducive to organization and hate it being used as a replacement for in person meetings because we don't have time for them).

Anyway so I was incredibly confused because it's not like any of this is hard - it's at worst time-consuming, WHICH IS WHY I TRY TO DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. So I just sat down after the meeting and fucking did it. And apparently people thought I was angry? I don't know that for sure, but both of my coworkers apologized to me, and I was like it's nothing to do with you, it's just me being stressed. I hope they know it was stress and not anger. I did tell them flat out but they laughed, and sometimes I just feel like such an alien. I seemed to be the only one remotely keyed up that the DEADLINE IS TOMORROW and nothing is done. Even though other people were like "Oh no, I didn't know either! That's really soon! How will we get it done?" they then continued on without any sense of urgency. To be fair, I know it's a somewhat arbitrary date. But am I the only one who's ever been chewed out for this stuff before? My first year here, there was so much pressure all the time. Now it's like there's none, which would be great if it didn't mean everyone having to hustle at the last minute - or certain teachers doing the brunt of the work while others just completely?? ignore?? the fact that it's their duty as well. It's like I'm not sure if this is flexibility or just total indifference. Like am I just that rigid or it is not at all bizarre to find out you have multiple things due tomorrow, act shocked, and then just... not do them anyway...? :/

To top all THAT off. We had ANOTHER meeting after the sports festival meeting, in which we had to talk about an event which won't happen until DECEMBER. We have four or five events before that one. It is a big event, and we only get one month to plan for it, which is way too little time, in fact it's pretty stupid how little time we're given to work it all out, BUT ANYWAY. So they tell us "This year, to make things easier on your teachers, we're giving you more work!" X'D I kid you not. They introduced a brand new framework for the event and said it's to make our lives easier. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. It's basically busy work for teachers that we have to pretend is about the students. IMO, it's really just using the teachers and students as advertisements for the school, TO SHOW TO PARENTS WHO ALREADY SEND THEIR KIDS TO THE SCHOOL. Of course, I'm pro keeping parents in touch with what their kids are doing and learning. I love showing them photos and slideshows about the kids' progress. That's not the issue. The issue is that the framework they've given us iS nOt AgE aProPRIaTE fOR tODdlErs!!! They just slapped us with the same framework they use for the kindergarteners and said "Oh don't worry, we know your kids aren't really capable of doing this yet, just you know do it in a loose way." Reading between the lines, IMO what they are saying is we don't actually have to do anything because the kids can't, we just have to make it look like we kinda sorta made an effort at it anyway. And they think this is easy, because it's vague! But surprise! Being vague makes it HARDER! Anyone can just say "I don't get how this fits the framework" and they'll be RIGHT because it DOESN'T because what you're asking us to do is NOT POSSIBLE FOR TODDLERS. I did ask how this was possible, and was given an example that, while fine, did not actually fit the framework. So all in all, it's probably not something I need to worry about... though it might be... though it probably isn't...? It's just some extra work for me :D for no particular reason! :D :D

Oh and also also. The leader telling us about this change was like, "You all learned some about this new framework over the last couple of years. What did your schools do to implement it?" with this big shit-eating grin because he knows we did NADA. Not our fault! We didn't even know we had to do something! It was up to the leaders, our severely overworked leaders, who did try to implement something but were too busy to keep it going. And from talking to other campuses, their experience is similar. So this is all just company blah-blah-blah "look at us we're so cutting edge and progressive, while understaffing our schools and overworking and underpaying our teachers" BS.

I might've handled it all better if I hadn't just had a full day of meetings about the sports festival, the assembly I'm running in two weeks, the Halloween party I'm also running, and the upcoming classroom observations. Add on the winter event and its new framework and I was just so fucking done. All of my coworkers seemed totally fine! I'm the only one who is stressed! I literally can't with this job. They pile heaps on you and then make it as impossible as they can for you to plan and organize things neatly. I never really thought of myself as a particularly organized person before I started working here, but APPARENTLY I am - or at least I'm a person who needs to be organized to feel not stressed. I always think about the worst case scenario, not to catastrophize, but to plan for every eventuality. That's all. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade. But we shouldn't leave things to the last minute. We shouldn't not follow up with things and then be like "deadline's tomorrow didn't you know?" and then look at the people who are concerned about that like they've suddenly grown an extra head. Also we should be able to ask questions about changes that we don't understand. I get it, I'm not the bubbly vivacious type, I try to modulate my tone but I suppose I do sound argumentative sometimes, when really what I mean is just to express that I'm confused. I wasn't questioning the framework just to be a little bitch about it. I genuinely don't get it. And I think the reason is because I'm not supposed to get it, it genuinely is stupid, and we're all just meant to go along with it because The Company Hath Decreed And Y'all Don't Get Any Say. I hate hate hate that shit at work. I understand what it is and why it happens perfectly well, I just can't hide how fucking stupid I think it is. Maybe everyone else does too but they can hide it. Or maybe they really do think it's good. I mean it isn't bad, lol. It's just a lot of nothing. Me questioning it is treated like "We're talking about kids learning values. Are you against kids learning values??" and obviously NO! of course I'm not! I'm not questioning teaching them values, I'm questioning how tf we're going to make actual babies demonstrate them to parents in a way that isn't obviously just the teacher taking manipulative pictures 9_9 I'm sorry but my kids learn by biting each other and then talking about why so-and-so it crying (hint: it's because you bit him!) I doubt parents want pictures of that. lol. It's just not genuine and it's got such a slimy "school brochure" kind of vibe, ugh.

#fizz's life #work

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dragonmuse · 1 year

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I posted 1,731 times in 2022

That's 1,657 more posts than 2021!

1,000 posts created (58%)

731 posts reblogged (42%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lostanxiousfool

@forpiratereasons

@dragonmuse

@brigdh

@whose-modern-au-is-this

I tagged 1,291 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#ofmd fanart - 397 posts

#leda house and the kraken verse - 371 posts

#ask answered - 253 posts

#leda house and the kraken verse - 247 posts

#ficlet - 156 posts

#izzy hands - 133 posts

#lucius black - 90 posts

#goblin king and the pup - 75 posts

#eddy teach bonnet - 57 posts

#ofmd - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#doug and ed constantly showing up for dates at the same time and actually just become friends because they spend so much time waiting

My Top Posts in 2022:

@greenapricot and@thehobbitbadgerasked for resolution on Alma’s favor in the last bit of 'wake myself in the shadows'. There are some CWS for this one which are also spoilers, so they're in the tags, scroll to view them first if you have any concerns. Not out to jump scare anyone!

Alma: I need that ride.

Izzy: when?

Alma: Tuesday at 2pm

Izzy: where am I picking you up?

Alma: I’ll come to you.

She arrived in sweatpants and a sweatshirt that had a Southern State logo crumbling off it. No makeup. Instead of her usual little purse, she carried a tote bag. It was deeply disconcerting.

Izzy, as promised, did not ask.

“Want anything before we go?”

“No. I’ve got the address.”

In the car, she plugged her phone in, put her GPS on the screen then started a throbbing playlist that drowned out all possible conversation. Izzy followed the directions and kept his eyes on the road. A half hour later, he made the final turn and she abruptly stopped the music.

“I might be there a while. You can drop me off. I’ll text when I’m ready.”

“Fuck that,” he found a parking spot. “I’ll wait with you.”

“No, I…” Alma looked at the unassuming office building. “I can do it on my own.”

“So fucking what? You think they’re handing out medals for that?”

“But-“ she started then stopped. “Okay. Yeah. I’m…I’m maybe a little freaked out.”

“Let’s go then.”

Inside it was just a very practical doctor’s office. Everything in shades of brown and tan. Alma gave her information at the desk then came to sit next to him in the waiting area.

“I won’t tell him,” Izzy told her, flipping through a magazine he wasn’t reading.

“I might,” she rested her head in his shoulder, “but not today.”

They had to wait a long time. Alma took his magazine and Izzy did Sudoku on his phone until her name was called. She got to her feet, squared her shoulders and disappeared through a door.

Izzy was good at waiting. He took slow even breaths and let teh time wash over him.

Not even forty-five minutes later, she shuffled back out, looking even paler than usual.

“Done?”

“Done,” she gave him a slight smile. “Get me out of here, it smells like a canister of cheap air freshener came all over a bottle of antiseptic.”

“Vivid and fucking accurate. Let’s go.”

She didn’t punch the music this time, even let him use his own phone.

“I thought I might be upset,” she said, settling into the seat. “But I am so goddamn relieved, I could cry.”

“Not surprised. If you didn’t want it.”

See the full post

64 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Whats the bravest thing lucius has gotten into izzys closest and that he’s actually worn

(I started so many racy ideas here then realized that none of that would get to Izzy more than this)

He was folding his laundry when he found it. Lucius liked to do that sometimes, stuff something unexpected into the hamper for Izzy to find later like a particularly devious squirrel. There had been some wild shit, including a pair of underwear that Izzy still couldn’t look at unless he wanted to throw off his whole morning schedule.

This was something else. It was simple enough. Just a black tank top, the kind he wore to go to the gym or run. Except on the chest where a small embroidered logo might go, there was a rainbow. A flag.

Izzy sat down hard on the bed, holding it in his hands. It wasn’t ostentatious. It was as subtle as a vibrant rainbow could be. But it was saying something. It was announcing something. He rubbed the material between his fingers. It was soft, probably comfortable.

He folded it and set it on top of his other workout clothes, then pressed the entire pile into a drawer and closed it firmly. Unfortunately, that didn’t close off the thought of it.

Could he just do that?

Lucius would. Lucius wore his sexuality like a badge of pride. He dared people to make something of it. It was bravery that Izzy had learned to respect and now, to envy. Before he’d lost Eddy, before his world had shifted so hard on its axis that he no longer recognized it, Izzy had thought he was brave.

Now he suspected he’d just been a bit dead inside.

Lucius didn’t bring up the tank top next time he was over. Most of the time he liked to cajole Izzy into his choices, or outright order him which only made it better, but there was a silent agreement that this could not be one of those times.

There had to just be a day. An ordinary enough day when he was going to the gym and then the grocery store. Nowhere he’d ever felt uncomfortable. It was hot which helped. The kind of summer day when you knew it was going to be boiling by noon just from the heave of the air conditioner.

He pulled it on and gave his reflection a quick look. He hadn’t changed. It was only a tiny blotch of color.

The gym was just down the street. He preferred to get his miles in at home, but he didn’t have room for an entire weight setup, so a few times a week he burned an hour or two there. He’d gotten a little lax for awhile, but now there was Jim to keep up with. Not to mention the way Lucius showed his appreciation for a little hard work.

There was barely anyone out yet, and he walked into the gym without seeing another person. Inside, it was fairly quiet, too early on a weekend day to be crowded. He got in most of his lifting with only a few other familiar faces around him. None of them paid him any mind, too focused on their own workout.

Just when he was on his last rep on the leg press, Probably A Fucking Cop walked by. Izzy had noticed him enough to mentally tag him. He was closer to Izzy’s age, steel gray hair cut short in a way that screamed law enforcement. They were often here at the same time, but Izzy never talked to anyone and Probably A Fucking Cop didn’t either.

Except today as he went to pass by, he slowed down. His eyes flicked to the shirt and then, to Izzy’s intense shock, Probably A Fucking Cop checked him out. It wasn’t even subtle, the dragging gaze and the speculative look.

Their eyes met and Probably A Fucking Cop’s head tilted ever so slightly. The least possible effort into invitation.

Izzy did fifteen more reps, eyes glued to the tips of his sneakers until he was absolutely positive the guy had moved the fuck on. Jesus fucking fuck.

“What the fuck do I do with that?” Izzy demanded when he explained the whole thing to Lucius. They were in the bathroom, Lucius showering off the workday. Izzy had just followed him in to rant and Lucius had let him, closing the curtain between them with a wink.

“You know what I’d do with it,” Lucius laughed.

“Yeah, I’m not fucking a cop in a public changing room,” Izzy rolled his eyes.

“Which is why I have more fun than you,” Lucius teased. They both knew that Izzy’s traitorously loyal heart could not deal with fucking someone else, no matter how much else he'd changed. “But Iz, it’s okay just to take it as a compliment and move on.”

“I’ve never been made like that,” he admitted.

“I bet you have.” The curtain rustled, Lucius reaching for the soap. “And you just didn’t know it.”

“How?” he frowned. “I get why it happened wearing that thing but-”

“I’ve watched it happen to you,” Lucius cut him off.

“So people just know?” What a fucking disturbing thought.

“It’s not like you wear a neon sign or anything. Some people can just sort of tell by the way you look at them or the vibe.”

“Are you saying people are hitting on me and I don’t fucking notice?”

“Yeah, goblin,” Lucius was clearly tickled by the idea. “That guy at the camera shop that you always talk about lenses with. Allen?”

See the full post

67 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

76 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

...this one is long y'all. It's going to go straight to an AO3 posting, I think and it'll get it's own story because even if no one ever asks about it on it's own, I think it's got the gams to stand alone.

WHO KNEW?!

86 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I'm just saying, what's the point of writing fanfic at all if it doesn't make me laugh at all my own jokes, then cackle like a supervillain at at all the delicious feelings I'm cooking?

146 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lololol #54% of my overall tumblr content was made this year #I've been on here for like a decade

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yesjojobirdflyhigh · 1 year

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I know I write that a lot, but I want you to consider it as a daily habit. Forgive yourself for being exactly who you are. Forgive yourself for asking for more when someone was very clear about wanting to give you less and less. Forgive yourself for wandering down the wrong creeks and into the worst gulleys without stopping to drink in the pink light of dawn over the prairie first. Forgive yourself for saying the wrong thing, being weird or rigid, making a bad joke, backing away, becoming dismissive, because maybe that’s what made it safe to have the parents you had as a kid. Forgive yourself for wearing an empire-waisted embroidered gown with a velvet train to work, even though you knew when you put it on that there’d be trouble ahead.

You just wanted to feel special. You just wanted to feel safe. You just wanted to feel loved. You survived this long by doing some strange things and saying some weird stuff and reaching for love and specialness and safety in the most whimsical and insolent and needy and even thoughtless ways. Those adaptive and maladaptive traits live at the center of your most colorful self, and they’ll sometimes prove themselves useful and inspiring and necessary. You’ll find deep connections with others by accessing those parts of you. You cannot throw the beautiful, loving baby out with the confusing, angry, sad bathwater. You have to make space for everything.

Because you can’t lug your shame to the office or over the prairie’s wide expanse forever. And if you forgive yourself every single morning for being the exact way you naturally are, inspired bursts and self-hating spirals and all, you can start to chip away at your shame. Forgive yourself every day and feel that forgiveness inside your skin. Feel it every single morning and eventually, trust me, your load will get light enough to feel more and to make more space for a friendly stranger who is really, truly a romantic cowboy and not a thief cosplaying John Wayne.

And even if that romantic cowboy eventually steals your wallet and skips town, you forgive yourself for the mistake of letting him all the way into your heart, which was not exactly a mistake after all, so much as a way of letting adventure itself and courage itself into your heart. In fact, one of the long-term benefits of forgiveness and casting off shame is that you start to see how every ill-fated adventure you’ve ever had brought you more and more color and life, even as it was bringing you pain. Pain itself sometimes starts to feel like an adventure — not in a sick, self-destructive way, but in a necessary or unavoidable way. Sometimes, in order to keep your heart wide open, you have to let the pain of not having and owning and feeling everything you want into your heart with everything else.

But I would argue that staying open to past friends and past loves and allowing their full, flawed selves into your heart, whether they’re actually in you life or not, is one of the best ways to be both open and protected, safe and flexible, romantic and realistic. When you shut the idea of someone out of your heart permanently, that keeps a sad wall up inside you that can incite confusion and regret. But when you allow them to be acknowledged and loved by you, silently and privately, you’re also acknowledging the flawed, fragile, conflicted reality of love itself. Your flexible, forgiving love is an echo of the adaptable, fluid turmoil of being alive.

When you forgive yourself, you become visible to yourself in all of your unique beauty, which is fragile and robust and scared and courageous all at once. Sitting and breathing in that view is like noticing the pink light of dawn on the frozen prairie. It smashes all of your old, inaccurate stories and burns through the cobwebs of your shame and crushes your big collection of unsolvable puzzles. When you forgive yourself, you also forgive your infuriating family and your disappointing, impossible friends and your zombified coworkers and your chippy bodega clerk and every deeply stupid and impossible human creature bumping across the surface of the planet.

Today, in order to navigate the gray world with grace, give yourself the gift of private excess, and keep everything. Keep the beautiful, loving baby and the confusing, angry, sad bathwater. Keep the freezing wind and the despairing loneliness and the tangled branches bathing in the pink light of dawn. Keep the cowboy boots and the jangling bell necklace. Keep the disappointment and the longing and keep forgiving it until the that ugly knot of fear and regret slowly, gently takes a new shape.

In order to feel truly safe and protected in this world, you have to surrender to the fact that you will never escape the hard parts. The world is full of cowboys and thieves and fairies and repair people, some with big hearts and some who’ve grown rigid because they never learned to forgive a thing. Your body is full of unpredictable emotions and insatiable desires. Keep all of it. You don’t have that long to live inside this impossible place, where everything does battle with everything else. Keep it close and feel it. It’s all yours and you’ll never be in control and it doesn’t last forever. Keep everything.

#ask polly #newsletter #heal #ways to live #self compassion #self forgiveness

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