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callsigns-haze · 1 month

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Out of All: Chp 3

Jake Seresin x OC! Anna Bradshaw

Brothers' Best Friend Series! Follow along as these characters navigate the treacherous waters of love, loyalty, and desire, all while facing the ultimate taboo: falling for your sibling's best friend. From heart-pounding moments to steamy encounters, this series is a rollercoaster of emotions that will keep you hooked until the very end. Brace yourself for intense romantic tension, sizzling chemistry, and enough drama to keep you guessing. Are you ready to embark on this captivating journey?

This chapter includes explicit sexual content with detailed descriptions of sexual activity and intimacy between characters. Scenes depict physical intimacy, including kissing, touching, and biting, with characters described in states of undress. Emotional intensity is explored, encompassing themes of longing, desire, and vulnerability, with brief references to past trauma. Characters may be shown consuming alcoholic beverages, and mature themes such as casual relationships

The studio walls seemed to close in, suffocating you with their unyielding presence. Bloody January, new year, new you, but here you were, stuck in the same cycle of frustration and disappointment. Hours had slipped by like grains of sand through an hourglass, each one adding to the weight of your exasperation.

Today was one of those days where nothing seemed to click, where every note was a struggle, and every chord felt like a battle. The music refused to flow, stubbornly resisting your attempts to coax it into existence. And as the hours stretched on, tensions simmered beneath the surface, threatening to boil over at any moment.

Frustration radiated from every corner of the studio, a palpable energy that hung heavy in the air. The once vibrant space now felt suffocating, stifling your creativity with its oppressive atmosphere. All you wanted was to escape, to retreat into the sanctuary of solitude and lick your wounds in peace.

But duty called, in the form of your brother's plea to join him and his friends at Penny's bar tonight. You wanted to meet them, to connect with his circle, but today, the thought of socializing felt like an insurmountable task.

"Anna, we need to get this moving!" Harry's voice cut through the tension, his frustration mirroring your own. With a roll of your eyes, you shot him a pointed look, the weight of exhaustion bearing down on your shoulders.

"What do you honestly think I've been trying to do, huh?" you snapped, your words laced with frustration. You were tired, irritable, and every fiber of your being screamed for release. The studio felt like a prison, trapping you in a cycle of unfulfilled potential and dashed hopes.

As Harry left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for another attempt. One more time, from the top, and then you were out. With a resolve born of sheer determination, you began to play, your voice a beacon of defiance amidst the chaos.

Each note carried the weight of your frustration, each chord a testament to your resilience. Despite the odds, you refused to be defeated, pushing forward with a determination that bordered on desperation. And as the melody unfurled, weaving its way through the heavy atmosphere, you felt a glimmer of hope ignite within you.

The music may not have been perfect, may not have flowed effortlessly from your fingertips, but it was yours. A reflection of your struggle, your perseverance, and your unwavering commitment to your craft. And in that moment, as the music carried you away on its wings, you found solace in the simple act of creation, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there was still beauty to be found.

"Summer went away Still, the yearning stays I play it cool with the best of them I wait patiently He's gonna notice me It's okay, we're the best of friends Anyway

I hear it in your voice You're smoking with your boys I touch my phone as if it's your face I didn't choose this town I dream of getting out There's just one who could make me stay All my days

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I waited ages to see you there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that you never cared

You're on your own, kid You always have been

I see the great escape So long, Daisy May I picked the petals, he loves me not Something different bloomed Writing in my room I play my songs in the parking lot I'll run away

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I called a taxi to take me there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

You're on your own, kid You always have been

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away

'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So make the friendship bracelets Take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid

You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this You're on your own, kid You always have been"

---

Bradshaw! Where's your sister at?" Natasha's impatience cut through the chatter, her eyes scanning the bar for your familiar presence. Bradley glanced at his phone, hoping for a message or a sign of your impending arrival, but found nothing. A sense of unease settled over him, a nagging feeling that something was amiss.

"Don't know, Phoenix. She's probably stuck at work," Bradley replied, his voice tinged with concern. He watched as Jake and Javy played darts, his mind drifting back to the front door of the bar. "Where are you, Anna?"

With a flicker of apprehension, Bradley unlocked his phone, dialing your number in a desperate bid for reassurance. Each ring felt like an eternity, his heart pounding in his chest as he prayed for your familiar voice to answer. But the silence on the other end only deepened his worry.

Then, a message popped up on his screen, accompanied by a video from you. Relief flooded through him as he read your text, a small smile tugging at his lips. "We only wrapped up now. Give me ten and I'll be there!"

As he watched the video, a sense of pride swelled within him. Your voice, clear and strong, filled the bar, carrying the weight of your emotions with each note. It was a song about solitude, about facing life's challenges head-on, and Bradley couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration for his talented sister.

"Hey guys! My sister's gonna be here in a bit. She sent me a video if you want to see!" Bradley called out to the group, excitement rippling through the air. He had mentioned your burgeoning music career to his friends before, and now they eagerly gathered around him, eager to catch a glimpse of the elusive Anna Bradshaw.

As the video began to play, Jake's eyes widened in recognition. The pieces fell into place, and he realized why you looked so familiar. With your distinctive features and undeniable talent, you were unmistakably Baby Bradshaw, the younger sibling whose musical journey had captivated their curiosity.

As the last notes of your song faded away, a chorus of applause erupted from your audience. Bradley couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in his chest as he watched his sister's talent being recognized and celebrated by those closest to him. In that moment, as the warmth of camaraderie washed over him, he knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would always have a supportive network by your side.

He and Coyote both took a step back, their expressions mirroring a mix of shock and disbelief. Javy leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper as he posed a question that hung heavy in the air, "Isn't that the chick from last weekend?" Jake shot his friend a warning look, silently urging him to keep his thoughts to himself.

In that moment, the weight of his actions hit Jake like a ton of bricks. He had been sleeping with a Bradshaw, his wingman's precious baby sister. The realization washed over him, a wave of dread and regret crashing against his conscience. How could he have been so blind? How could he not have recognized you, despite your distinctive features and undeniable talent?

God, Bradley would kill him. The thought sent a shiver down his spine, his stomach churning with a sickening mix of guilt and apprehension. He had betrayed his friend's trust in the worst possible way, tarnishing the bond they had built over years of camaraderie and loyalty.

As he glanced at Bradley, he could see the color draining from his friend's face, his expression a mask of disbelief and shock. The room seemed to spin around him, the reality of the situation hitting him like a freight train. "Hey Bagman, you okay?" Fanboy's voice cut through the tension, his concern palpable as he glanced at his fellow pilot.

"Fine," Jake replied, his voice strained as he forced the words past the lump in his throat. But inside, he knew that nothing would ever be the same again. He had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed, and now, he would have to face the consequences of his actions.

---

You parked your car near the light blue bronco, recognizing it as your brother's vehicle. As you stepped out and locked the door, a sense of apprehension settled over you. You knew Bradley would likely be frustrated, perhaps even angry, that your colleagues had made you late for the meeting.

Entering the bar, you spotted Bradley with a group of young aviators. He walked down to greet you, enveloping you in a side hug. His whispered words tugged at your heartstrings. "You actually came," he murmured. With a playful eye roll, you leaned in to whisper back, "You pay the rent without allowing me to, I had no choice."

The resemblance between you and Bradley was uncanny, from the curls in your hair to the twinkle in your eyes. As he introduced you to his friends, you greeted them warmly, but your attention was quickly drawn to one individual in particular: Jake. Jake Seresin, Hangman, Bradley's wingman.

Bradley's introduction sent a jolt of panic through you. You had slept with Jake, your brother's wingman. Out of all the people, why him? The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and you knew you had to tread carefully to ensure that Bradley never found out about your previous encounter with Jake.

As Jake greeted you with a Texan charm that sent shivers down your spine, you struggled to maintain your composure. Bradley couldn't know, couldn't suspect anything. So you smiled politely, nodding at Jake's introduction, all the while grappling with the knowledge of the secret you shared with his wingman.

Jake knew that Bradley could never figure out that the two of you had met previously, so he played it cool, maintaining his composure to prevent your brother from catching on. "Hangman, but you can call me Jake, darlin'," he said, his Texan accent adding a touch of charm to his words.

As Jake shook your hand, Bradley watched the interaction closely, his protective instincts kicking in. "Brad told me a lot about you," you remarked casually, withdrawing your hand and wrapping your arms around yourself as you engaged in conversation with Jake. "I could say the same," he replied, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Glancing over your shoulder, you noticed Bradley had rejoined the group, leaving you to converse with Jake. But before you could delve further into conversation, Jake leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. "We need to talk."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you met his intense gaze, scanning the room to ensure no one was listening in on your conversation. "Yeah, that's putting it nicely," you replied, a sense of apprehension creeping into your tone.

----

"You're actually his sister," Jake sighed, his frustration evident as he ran his hands down his face while seated on the outside deck of the bar. The realization hung heavy in the air, both of you grappling with the unexpected twist of fate that had brought you together.

"Look Jake... Would you change anything if I wasn't his sister?" you asked, your voice tinged with uncertainty. It was a question neither of you had anticipated, probing the depths of what could have been if circumstances were different.

"No," Jake replied simply, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering determination. Despite the complications that your relationship with Bradley introduced, he was adamant that he wouldn't alter a single moment they had shared.

His response left you conflicted. On one hand, you were relieved that he didn't regret what had transpired between you. On the other, you couldn't shake the nagging doubt about the potential fallout with your brother.

"What about Bradley?" You countered, your mind racing with the implications of your newfound connection with Jake.

As you contemplated the situation, memories of the rules you and your best friend, Caila, had established as teenagers flooded your mind. Rule number one: Never, under any circumstances, become romantically involved with each other's siblings. It was a pact born out of loyalty and mutual respect, a boundary that had never been crossed. You believed guys had some sort of similar boundaries.

But now, faced with the undeniable chemistry between you and Jake, you questioned whether those rules still held weight. Was it breaking a code if neither of you were aware of its existence? And could you deny the undeniable attraction that pulsed between you, despite the potential consequences?

"I've done worse things," Jake confessed, his words hanging in the air like a weighty admission. In that moment, you knew that the path ahead would be fraught with challenges, but the pull of desire was too strong to resist.

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adelaidedrubman · 6 months

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every fucking wednesday huh

tagged today by my dears @socially-awkward-skeleton and @direwombat to share something for wip day!

on this second nanowrimo wednesday (boo!) i give you a VERY rough excerpt of a hl&s scene i had envisioned in my mind’s eye for quite some time and banged out during the early november sprint before i immediately lost steam. very sloppy and very long (as always no pressure to Read All That) but here is a bit of jessie answering john’s questions about what is so special about fishing

“Everyone who actually has to live in the real world finds some way to kill all that angry static buzzing around in their brains. Something that sets off that click —” she snapped her fingers, then curled the hand back into a tense fist, “that shuts it all down to go peaceful for a while, without just making you feel dead. Lotta folk turn to drink. Real simple folk find the Lord. Me?”

She smiled, huffing out a gentle, breathy laugh.

“I go fishing.” The calm she had described now belatedly slipped into the even pace of her words. “Because everything about the world that pisses me off, fishing is the exact opposite. It’s a challenge. A battle of wits. You gotta work to catch a fish — real work, not just doing shit because somebody decided you gotta to take home a paycheck. With fishing, you gotta think, you gotta feel, you gotta use your hands. Stay alert to every little movement in the water. Know what’s gonna catch a fish’s eye, and have the skill to do it right. Know how to think like a fish. Appreciate ’em so you can lead ’em to their doom. Feel the tension in your muscles as you fight against a big one on the line. Your heart racing at the thrill of finally reeling it in. You’re using your brains and your body to wrestle for control with the fish — and if you do it right, you actually get it. It’s work, but it’s also —”

Her fist unclenched, tension easing from her shoulders.

“Calming,” she concluded, almost under her breath. “It’s so simple, but you’re accomplishing something. You’re part of the world around you, and for once it all means something. For once, it’s not a world I hate being in. It’s a world that’s just the sun beating down on your back, the wind in your hair, the sound of water beating against the dock. And beneath all the equipment and technique, it’s just you and the fish. It’s engaging, but peaceful. Fishing is —”

She looked down at her feet, her nose crinkling with an almost lazy, half-hearted irritation. “When I’m fishing, I feel real. I feel free,” she said softly, resolutely. “You wouldn’t fucking get that.”

John didn’t bother to hide the way he slowed his stride this time, nor the way he looked at her — drawing in a deep breath before coming to a complete stop, then turning to face her. He allowed himself a moment to rake his eyes along her profile, bask in the sense that he was truly seeing her for the first time — all that high-strung energy, all that barely contained fury packed into the tense ridge of her jaw, begging for release.

“I get it more than you would ever know,” he told her, heart pulsing an extra beat at the responding jitter of starlight glittering golden eyes towards him, before she stubbornly looked away again. Such a fragile flutter, a baby bird’s wings just beginning to beat against its breast.

Human — she was so undeniably human. In a way most people weren’t, in a way that managed to burrow itself down to that deepest, most difficult to reach part of his soul that was still soft and warm and a place where joy could spread. A place someone could nestle into and make a home. As if she’d snagged her fishing line at the depths of the lake, and managed to hook a long-lost sunken treasure.

“It’s exactly how I feel when I’m flying,” he explained, looking up towards the skies. “It requires complete concentration. If my focus slips for one moment — if there’s a single shift of the wind I fail to account for, I could go hurtling to my death. Just as easily, send every sin —” He caught himself, “...single person beneath me to theirs. I hold all that destruction within my grasp. I’m powerful. I’m in control. I’ve bested fate.”

He paused, finding only the slow building chirp of crickets filing the silence — for once, she wasn’t interrupting him, wasn’t rushing to fire back some clever insult. For once, she was hanging off his every word.

And looking at him. Hard as she tried to hide it — tucking her chin down and pressing her ear near towards her shoulder as she twisted at the waist to face him without facing him, the lingering of deepening tawny at the corner of her eyelids betraying her facade of detachment.

“But more than that…” He dared to take a step towards her, to turn himself so they were just a sliver closer to facing each other directly. “When I’m up in my plane, I feel —” A smile. One that felt natural spreading across his face. A smile just for her, the kind of smile he so rarely ever got to give — one given knowing that the person on the receiving end of it would actually understand why he was smiling. “Free. The world and every horrible thing in it is miles away from me — and if I want to, I never have to come down without bringing hellfire with me. When I’m up there, nothing can reach me.”

He dropped his voice to barely above a whisper. “I’m in control, but I’m free.” He let the revelation settle in the air between them — it was odd, he didn’t know if he would have ever been able to vocalize it so clearly, without her. “There are very few things in this world that can really give you that feeling.”

Jessie lifted her jaw — so strong, so proud, always. Imposing enough it had caused him all this time to overlook just how delicate her features really were. Those soft, rosy lips; her round little button nose; those wide doe eyes framed by darling doll lashes, taking him in so fully.

Yes, there it was — her eyes met his, she was looking at him.

It was just as he’d dared to hope. She saw him, she saw everything.

He was seen, and she kept looking.

She stepped closer. Her eyes trailed along his face at a leisurely pace. She finally blinked, slowly, but never looked away.

She inhaled, deeply, her eyes not wavering as her chest rose.

“That’s nothing like fishin’, dumbass,” she said decidedly, craning her neck back and shaking her head back and forth, as if in complete disbelief at just how ridiculous his statement was. “Flying planes is a dumb rich people hobby,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand, looking back over her shoulder at him as she walked past him in the vague direction he’d been leading them. “Those aren’t the fuckin’ same.”

sending no pressure tags out to @unholymilf @belorage @florbelles @g0dspeeed @josephslittledeputy @afarcryfrommymain @poetikat @just-another-wasteland-merc @voidika @captastra @confidentandgood @deputyash @blissfulalchemist @shellibisshe @thedeadthree @nightbloodbix @ladyofedens-blog @miyabilicious @simplegenius042 @henbased @clicheantagonist @firstaidspray @strafethesesinners @quickhacked @jackiesarch @v0idbuggy @orionlancasterr @stacispratt @8bitpizzacoupons @strangefable @shallow-gravy @roofgeese @inafieldofdaisies @corvosattano + anyone with things to share + opt in here!

#jestiny when she’s in an empath contest and her opponent is john seed ig #bitches will call you pretentious then do cat on a hot tin roof monologue as a bit because they got too close to sharing feelings #(in text what happened. i cut this just after she ranted about mendacity.) (john didn’t catch it)#wip

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sensoryseekinganakin · 1 year

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I took the RAADS-R Autism Assessment as Anakin, basing my answers to each question on textual evidence from Clone Wars Gambit, Jedi Quest, Rogue Planet, and the Star Wars prequel trilogy, as well as what I have read of the RotS novelization and Labyrinth of Evil.

Please keep in mind that my interpretations of the scenes I used as evidence are probably affected by my own personal biases and the fact that I have autism too, so I’m not claiming that any of this is how the stories/dialogue were meant to be interpreted. It’s just for fun! In fact, if anyone interpreted these things differently I would love to know!

Anakin’s results:

Total score: 188 Language: 17 Social relatedness: 83 Sensory/motor: 51 Circumscribed interests: 37

Language

I based my interpretation of Anakin’s language almost entirely on his speech patterns in the prequel trilogy. Anakin’s tone and cadence are uneven unless he’s repeating back something someone else has said. He often has trouble controlling his volume or the speed of his talking. In Rogue Planet, Obi-Wan thinks "Anakin could become both expressive and imitative whenever he felt excited or ill at ease."

His manner of communicating is up-front and honest, even when others don’t want to hear it. In the beginning of Attack of the Clones, he makes Padmé uncomfortable with his advances and does not notice until she comments on it. When she makes it clear that she is uncomfortable, he still wants to understand why.

Social relatedness

Anakin has the ability to work well in groups when he is in control, but ultimately, he is an outsider aside from a few special people. Even then, his interest in the people who he chooses to spend his time with is specific and possessive. In the beginning of Jedi Quest, Obi-Wan worries that fourteen year old Anakin has no friends. He has trouble relating to others his age at the temple. Obi-Wan spends the rest of the series worrying about the ways Anakin interacts with the friends he makes and ultimately loses.

Anakin’s concept of relationships is self-serving and one sided. He pined for Padmé for ten years without seeing her, obsessed with a concept of her in his mind that he formed when he was nine years old. He sees himself in others, but has trouble relating to how they feel unless he can put their feelings into his own perspective. In Rogue Planet, he has several moments of extreme empathy for both Ke Daiv and Sekot when he realizes that their experiences have been similar to his. Even if their similarities aren’t exact, when he’s able to project his own trauma onto theirs he’s able to relate to them and interact with them more easily.

Sensory/motor

Anakin has excellent fine motor skills, shown by his mastery of mechanics. Both his motor skills and sensory perceptions are intensified by his connection to the Force.

“Is it possible you see nothing more than the tensions of approaching adulthood?” Mace asked. “No!” Anakin cried. “I see… too much, too much.” “Too much what?” “I burn like a sun inside!” The boy’s voice rang out in the chamber like a bell.

Particularly in Clone Wars Gambit and Rogue Planet, Anakin is thrown off and frustrated when his surroundings are too loud and too bright if they’re outside of a controlled environment that he enjoys. He is easily overwhelmed, but in battle, especially in a ship, he’s able to zero in his focus on the aspects of the scenario that he enjoys to overcome it.

He frequently exhibits stimming (the repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalizations, as a form of behavior by persons with autism or other neurodevelopmental conditions) behaviors. Throughout Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith he can be seen picking objects up to turn over in his hands, tinkering with electronics, and rocking when sitting and standing in situations that are distressing to him.

He’s described stimming in Rogue Planet as he’s taking in the sights and sounds of the new environment around him, often holding his hands out in front of himself and turning them over.

He gave a small shiver, then he, also, rubbed his palms on his tunic, held them out, and looked around.

One of Anakin’s most iconic and most heavily criticized lines in Attack of the Clones is his description of how he understands the world through sensory details: “I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.”

Circumscribed interests

Anakin has intense defined interests in mechanics, often stating that he relates to machines and understands them better than he does with other people. In Clone Wars Gambit: Siege, he uses his special knowledge and connection to machines to rework a storm shield into one that can keep out battle droids. As early as nine years old, in The Phantom Menace, he was already building a podracer of his own, and by age twelve in Rogue Planet he still had that knack for machines and racing, which he used to modify a pair of racing wings to participate in a garbage pit race. In Attack of the Clones, after the death of his mother, he immediately goes back to working with machines to cope. When Padmé tries to talk to him he gets upset and sidetracks back to that interest.

“I brought you something. Are you hungry?” "The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things. I’m good at fixing things. Always was. But I couldn’t… Why’d she have to die? Why couldn’t I save her? I know I could have!”

His interests are zeroed in, and when he wants to talk about them, he has trouble sensing that others don’t want to hear it.

Obi-Wan let these words sit between them for some seconds before asking, blandly enough, “What does the ship mean to you?” “A ship that tunes itself to a need for speed... Wow!” Anakin said. “For me, that would be the perfect friend.” “That’s what I thought,” Obi-Wan said.

When he’s fixated on one point, it’s hard for him to see the bigger picture, no matter how many times those round him try to remind him of it. This is a trait that follows him throughout the entirety of his life.

Total score

With a total score of 188, Anakin falls between "very strong evidence for autism" and the maximum possible score an autistic person can quire on the RAADS-R scale. For comparison, the mean score of autistic people is 130, and the minimum score at which autism is considered is 65. At 90, autism is considered highly likely. I also took the assessment with Obi-Wan in mind, drawing from the same sources as well as Jedi Apprentice, and scored 74, with the most focus in his results being in circumscribed interests and social relatedness.

So many traits that Anakin’s character is criticized for are autistic traits, whether his writers made him that way intentionally or not. I think Hayden Christensen’s portrayal of him was genius and so heartfelt when viewed through this lens. Even when it isn’t being called autism, it’s clear when people recognize a collection of autism traits and characterize a character based on their perception of those traits. Anakin is an amazing case of unintentional autism representation, and the hatred and biases people have toward his character are often based on his autistic traits.

#autistic anakin skywalker #sorry i know no normal person would write this much about this i just got very fixated #and i wanted to share!!!!#maybe sometime i can go over obi wans results too #autism anakin

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makingspiritualityreal · 1 year

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Taylor Swift's "Anti Hero" - A Psychological Study of Rahu Mentality

I rarely dive into pop-culture references in my Astrology writing, but I couldn't help myself after seeing this recent piece of art from Taylor Swift, who has a strong Rahu influence in her chart (Moon conjunct Jupiter in Ardra Nakshatra). This song and music video describe perfectly the state of mind of Rahu natives, together with the emotional struggles they experience at this particular planetary stage. Every word and scene in the music video reflect the emotional state a Rahu influenced native finds themselves in, to the point it speaks for itself. I feel like my own description fails to do it as well as the source material does, so I encourage you to watch the video, with lyrics, after reading my post.

This post can be personally relatable to anyone, who has a very prominent Rahu influence in their chart, especially on their Moon, with the Moon placed either in Ardra, Swati or Shatabhisha or Rahu closely conjunct any personal planet. It is also a good information resource for anyone, who would like to understand the behaviour of Rahu in general.

Side note 1, before I dive deeper into the Rahu portion of the post. In the music video, the artist is presented talking to her alter ego. The duality of the character's two personalities interacting with each other is very typical of Rahu. A mindstate of fake social politeness and repression concerning what they view as undesirable to show externally, but battle with internally.

Side note 2. Minus the psychological component reflecting the traits of Rahu, the song directly describes Rahu's archetypal nature. "I'll stare directly at the Sun, but never in the mirror." That pertains to Rahu being the "smoky mirror" and its talent in creating illusions, mixed with its unwillingness to build up accountability, but instead being obsessed with swallowing up the greatness, that it desires through admiring the traits of the Sun itself.

Rahu trait 1: Birth of self-awareness and struggle with personal accountability. "I grow older but never wiser".

Rahu is widely known in Astrology circles for its negative traits, having a bad reputation for being greedy and all consuming. However, people don't realise that Rahu doesn't have the potential to fully step into the role of taking responsibility for any of its actions at this stage in a zodiac wheel. Rahu is where we merely begin to understand ourselves as conscious creators of our reality, because right until the previous stage of Mars, we were in one way or another directed or influenced by external forces, kept in a primitive state. Because we only start developing consciousness in a Rahu stage, it can feel, as if bad things are "happening to us" as opposed to "we are doing the wrong thing". That is why "I'm the problem" is used as such a strong revelation from the Artist's perspective in the song. To Rahu, its own illusory nature is so strong, it considers even realising its basic flaws an enormous step, as the newly found feeling of guilt can be overwhelming. Since we have yet to reach the Jupiterian stage, we accumulate a lot of experiences, which make us feel like we're "growing", but don't really give us satisfaction, as it feels like writing chapters in a book, that hasn't really reached its main plot point yet. That is reflected in the scenes, where the main character physically grows to monstrous proportions in comparison to other people in the room, yet struggles to find any fulfilment, and experiences mostly negative emotions related to herself.

Rahu trait 2: Megalomania and sense of drama, polarised with intense self-hatred and self criticism. "It must be exhausting rooting for the Anti Hero".

Because Rahu has been freed from obedience to command, that it was spelled under in the previous Mars stage, it views itself as the center of everything, discovering its individuality for the first time. It hasn't yet learned the principle of Universal connectivity and how one's personal actions need to be responsible towards the collective, because it is only now learning about the concept of its own independence. Thus, for Rahu, a desire for being a "Hero", call for freedom and receiving attention, is strong, to savour the newly cut chains. However, with these actions come consequences and responsibility for every step taken. That's when the dread and self hatred set in, as in many scenes of the video we can see a Rahu person has a strong part inside that doesn't even like themselves and lives in a strong energy of self sabotage. Rahu can't free itself from its desires to be center stage, yet it also can't let go of the impending doom of its mistakes. Thus, it mixes self glorification and self hatred in the "Anti-Hero" concept...as deep down, Rahu knows how much bravery it took for it to conquer so much in uncharted territories. It's not giving up its accolades. And perhaps they are earned, as it is thanks to the Rahu stage, that we are reborn with so many blessings in the Jupiterian phase.

Rahu trait 3: A state of deep loneliness, paranoia and anxiety. "I should not be left to my own devices. They come with prices and vices."

Something that is often taken for granted in Rahu, is that it lives in a constant state of fear. It feels like a scared child, that has been let out into the street with no support and due to the mistakes it has made, it struggles to develop self-trust and self reliance. These qualities are only fully developed in the Saturn stage, later down the road. Rahu is where we first experience the dread of loss of any idea of protection, that was still lingering on in the previous Mars stage. Since we are constantly testing boundaries in what feels to be an empty space at best and a threatening environment at worst, it is impossible for us to go through that stage without making mistakes. Thus, a desire for guidance and protection, that we receive in Jupiter, is born, as the Rahu stage is emotionally extremely uncomfortable.

Rahu trait 4: Struggles in relationships due to all the above traits. "One day I'll watch as you're leaving, 'Cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time."

Since Rahu is the birth of awareness of our own actions, it is also the birth of awareness of people's reception of us. At this stage, we are however unable to liberate ourselves from our flaws, so the mind lives in a state of fear of abandonment, as it is constantly hyperaware of its imperfection and the havoc it wreaks on others. It creates a state of entrapment, that there seems to be no way to get out of, which is why Rahu tries to escape the painful cycle in relationships with others through "ghosting" people, which is also mentioned in the song. Because of this entrapment, Rahu feels like it's not only not anyone's friend, but not even their own. There is progress waiting, even for Rahu however, and it is found in Jupiterian boundless forgiveness.

Rahu's greatest desire is the bridge of Rahu to Jupiter - Salvation, self-acceptance and mercy. What Rahu ultimately craves for is the beginning of self love for the imperfect and fragile human condition. At this stage cosmically, we are sick not only of other people's negative opinions of us, but also of our own flaws. Rahu reaches for hope after an intense struggle. It has a deep desire for forgiveness and cooperation with its shadow side, for the sake of progress and liberation from pain. And at the end of a very long, tiring journey, after it has fought so hard to reach basic self acceptance, it does indeed receive that relief at the hands of Jupiter.

#astrology #north node #rahu #vedic astrology #vedic astro notes #vedic astro observations #taylor swift #anti hero

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wildernezz · 1 month

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Metal Lords: movie review

summary of plot (no spoilers): a dorky awkward kid named Kevin is friends with this wannabe metalhead named Hunter. they're starting a band together but because of their flaws, their progress fumbles a bit. however, after finding out about their schools Battle of the Bands, they start working to prepare for the contest. as they improve their skills, they also improve their social lives and their own personalities

general thoughts: I GENUINELY LOVED THIS MOVIE SM????? god if youre into movies about a buncha flawed misfit friends then this is definitely a movie i'd recommend. the first few bits are a little awkward because you can kinda feel that the actors are still getting into their roles, but sticking it to the end is ABSOLUTELY worth it. all of the characters were so lovable and it genuinely filled that "i wanna see a movie about people just being people" hole in my heart. i still have no idea how to describe those kind of movies, but i feel like if yknow then youll know.

movies "Metal Lords" reminds me of: Theater Camp, I Used To Be Famous, School of Rock, Love Simon

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT WEEWOOWEEWOO:

in depth but also scattered thoughts bc i cant organize for shit:

I LOVE THE SILLIES SM???? THEYRE ALL MY FAVORITE SILLIES???????? LITERALLY THE ONLY CHARACTER I HATED WAS SKIP (HUNTER'S BULLY), EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO SILLY????? ofc theyre all flawed and there were parts in the movie (especially with hunter) that made me disappointed to see, but the character progression was so satisfying and i loved seeing them all grow. it was genuinely so silly to me i love them all sm

EMILY AND KEVIN WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER???? AND I HONESTLY LOVED EMILY SM??????? JUST IN GENERAL??? LOVED KEVIN TOO BUT MAN I THINK EMILY IS MY FAVORITE. i loved all of her moments sm???? she has a lotta flaws but theyre honestly all reasonable and understandable to me so i kinda just forgive her for them anyways. i also just really love how sweet kevin is to her. like ofc he's not a perfect boyfriend and makes some slipups, but he genuinely really cares about her and i think it's so cute to watch.

more about me loving emily: I LOVED THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FORGIVE HUNTER RIGHT AWAY. LIKE IT WOULDVE BEEN COOL TO SEE, BUT THE PAYOFF AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS WAS EVEN BETTER. SPEAKING OF WHICH, SHE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING COOLIN THAT SCENE??????? SHE WAS COOL AS FUCK BEFORE THAT (u cannot tell me her cello playing wasnt the most badass thing out there) AND THEN THEFUCKING CCONNNCERRTTT??? IM CRYING I LOVE HER SOMUCCHHCH

i also really loved hunter. like there was a lotta scenes where i wanted somebody to punch him in the face, but he was honestly still lovable even throughout those scenes and he started improving a lot near the end, which was really nice to see. he obviously wasn't completely redeemable since there were still a lot of things he could've done better, but i feel like the fact that he didn't completely become perfect is what made me love his character a lot more. it felt really real to me. he isn't perfect, but he genuinely wants to make up for the shit he's pulled and he's absolutely trying to show it, and isn't that what living's all about anyways? either way, we love hunter in this household <3333

KEVIN'S TIME TO SHINE: that was a lie, i dont have much to say on kevin LMFAO. i absolutely loved seeing him on screen and i just love Jaeden Martell in general, but despite that, there's not really a lot for me to say about him. i just think he's neat. that's enough for me <3333 (emily shouldve been my girlfriend tho smh how dare he /j)

ALSO FUCKING CLAY???? HES SUCH A SILLY GUY. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS FOR MOVIES IN GENERAL???? HES SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GUY AND I LOVED SEEING HIM SM. KINDA WISH I SAW MORE OF HIM BC OF IT. EITHER WAY, WE LOVE CLAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD AS WELL <333333

i think thats all i have to say for this movie. either way, PLEAASEE check it out. i swear itll be worth it because the characters honestly all so adorable and so silly goofy goober. we love the silly metal lords here <33333

#metal lords #metal #movie review #school of rock #movies #uhhhh idk what else to put here #silly goofy sillies

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neechees · 4 months

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I’m not obsessively following Xiran on every social platform but I don’t remember them being a proshitter, and their anime they compared to their book is Yu Gi Oh. (Granted I never watched Yu Gi Oh, I only know there are cards in it and Blue eyes white dragon.) They compared their book to it because it has a similar battling system that Yu Gi Oh has, only with some chinese emperors and mythological creatures in it. If you know more about them being a proshipper then please enlighten me.

There's several sources, specifically called out by one Chinese user multiple times who reiterates that Xiran ships incest, and its specifically from a Chinese historical show. I think Xiran at one point decided to justify this by saying they're not "actually brothers" & that this is a Westerners' misunderstanding, but my mutual insisted that, no, that isn't the case & this is still incest. You can find those discussions here (its all from my reblogs of the original posts bc my mootie was deactivated by staff):

One

Two

Three

Four

The fourth link also talking about some iffy tweets Xiran was making about "fandom" & being purposely vague about it, but I believe the tweet/s have been deleted (curiously) so I don't have the screenshots for the original tweets themselves, but the screenshot of the discord messages talking about it show the link to the original tweets BEFORE they were deleted.

One anon also told me that they had followed Xiran & looked through their following list, & saw Xiran was mutuals woth multiple users who shipped batfam (so, incest). Of course that's just word of mouth, but I'm sure someone whos familiar with the Batman comics scene on Twitter would be able to sniff this out & confirm whether or not this was true, but I can't.

As I said, Xiran also compared something in their book to the anime "Darling in the Franxx', which sexualizes minors & has them pilot a mech in a way that looks like a sexual position, and this is what they compared it to in their book, which ALSO features a 2-person-pilot mech device (but this is also weird because how it's actually described in Xiran's book is more just like a normal piloting situation in a fighter jet cockpit with one person ahead of the other, but sitting in the same chair & hugging).

Xiran also talks about their disappointment with said anime but not for the sexualization and fanservice of teenager characters in it (in fact they praise it for this) or the handling of the themes with said needless sexualization, but just that the plot didn't go in the direction they wanted it to. I know Xiran also made a sex joke about Aang & Katara from ATLA in one of their videos, who are 12 & 14 respectively.

Xiran also apparently hangs out with Lindsay Ell/is who, as we know, is a racist white feminist, who made a slavery joke about Harriet Tubman, and also hangs out with racist proshitter Jenny Nichol/son & famed antisemite Contrapoint/s.

#i hate doing stuff like this bc this snowballed from like one comment i made on a tag #itskikanow

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aria-i-adagio · 3 months

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WIP Ask Meme

Bold of you to think I'm organized enough to have a WIP folder @hoochieblues.

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I'm adapting these to brief descriptions. If there are any ongoing files in my GDrive I'll include the title/first line, but those are temp then everything moves to Scrivener.

Tagging: @atypicalacademic @motherofqups @niffty24, @ankoku-jin and @hollyand-writes

Here's what we have going on right now:

(In addition to the super fun work of writing my own bloody geometry textbook because the major publishers can't be bothered to do it decently/even vaguely in line with the current academic standards.)

Thrift Shop Vikings continues. It is cringe, it is dark, it is... hopefully actually decent. It has also grown from, "eh, think I can make the Nanowrimo draft into a decent short novel" to "yeah... this is going to be three genre length novels." I want to say I'm 80% of the way to beta-reader ready draft of Act 1, but I'm scared of jinxing myself. (That said, if anyone is interested in not quite Game of Thrones level dark fantasy, with yours truly treating crack [omegaverse] seriously, HMU. This is... not for everyone, and much darker than the fic I've written.)

Once Sindre had recovered enough to not feel that he needed to sleep until the end of days and the final battle, he began waking with the sun. Misery barely described... There's an idiom: as useless as nipples on a man

Where the Elfroot Grows is not dead. It is just percolating. In fact, recently Jeanne has been very loud about being the POV character for the arrival back at Skyhold. Also, the fish out of water appeal of forcing Rhys though Halamshiral is just too damn much. Also, I feel entirely empowered to make up my own canon now.

Jeanne became one of Rhys's primary minders Scene: Getting Hawke moving Rhys wakes to a kiss pressed to the back of his neck Adrian's arm remains extended R&D Ocean

On that note, I'm not really filing the serial numbers off WTEG per se, because I think I've backed far enough up to basic fantasy tropes. Or maybe I'm filing the serial numbers off, IDK and IDC. Either way, I'm at the world-building, occasional scene writing, creating lore, boning up on history and anarchist theory stage of taking the elements I particularly like and running with them, while paying more attention to consistent characterization and general coherence in terms of theory and theology. Currently has more of a steampunk vibe, as I can't quite pull off the level of 'sweeping social change more than mage rebellion' with a thoroughly medieval world-build. I would get into my Xnity, but to the left, meanderings here, but it would turn into a thesis. Anyway, both this and Thrift Shop Vikings are engaged with the idea that anyone who believes god is on their side is as dangerous as hell, just in very different directions.

And @hollyand-writes I really do have enough of an outline for Gatsby meets Kirkwall to get somewhere with it. Just maybe not until the school year is over. Every time I drive past the road named for the local moonshiners I'm reminded/start thinking on it.

#my writing #ask memes #thrift shop vikings #wteg

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gorbalsvampire · 21 days

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On Mass Combat

There are mass combat mechanics in Dark Ages Vampire's Storytellers Guide, but...

Look at it this way. There are a few key principles to fitting mass combat into an RPG, and if you follow them all you don't really need a mass combat system as such.

0) Your players don't want to sit there and wait

This is rule 0 for a reason. I once sat through an interminable Star Wars D20 game in which the GM's particular flavour of brain worms meant he had to roll attacks and damage and reactions for every combatant in a scene before he described what happened. It's not that he had no imagination, it's just it wasn't fair if he didn't roll, and it wasn't fun if it wasn't fair. Or maybe he just hadn't thought about adapting the standard "declare, roll, describe" process of RPGs for an encounter with dozens of active participants. Either way, it was a terrible way to spend an afternoon - and I like rolling dice for attack after attack after attack, when it's a wargame. When I turned up to roleplay, it's just false advertising.

1) Only the PCs' dice really matter

You're running this scene for your players. They're rolling for their characters. Dice that have nothing to do with their characters don't need to be rolled. Really, this is an extension of Rule 0, but turned sideways so it becomes advice rather than an excuse for an anecdote. I'm a big fan of "only players roll" in general for RPGs and for the way the ST systems work, it really helps to set the players a roll against a target number and have margin of success or failure decide consequences.

2) Just because it's combat doesn't mean you have to roll combat pools

Mass combat is a chance for Leadership to shine. In V5 I would consider something like Resolve or Composure + Leadership to be the best possible roll for a player trying to command a mass battle. In older editions that don't have the good stat grid, sub in a Mental Attribute of your choice - I'd say Perception for the first round, Wits if something surprising happens, Intelligence to close the engagement favourably. If your player isn't in a leadership position I think it's better to roll a few Stamina + Melee/Brawl/Firearms/Atheletics rolls and inflict superficial/bashing damage equal to the margin of failure than to sit there modelling it all out exactly with the four rolls per attack that conventional combat needs. You could even break out a Composure + Survival for a character who just does not want to be there. Again, I have V5 brainrot and I know it, but "three and done" is such a good way to stop system creep and keep the sessions moving.

3) What are you using mass combat for in story terms?

Maybe this one should have come first, I 'unno, but this is the thing about mass combat - a lot of the time the systems seem written to simulate it happening without asking what it's doing in the story. Is it a command challenge, for PCs who are trying to command a small army for whatever reason? Is it a social challenge, for PCs who have to lead that army and keep up its morale? Is it an endurance challenge, for PCs who are built to throw hands to a degree no mortal could match? Or is it something that's happening around the PCs, a kind of environmental hazard that they need to negotiate on their way to achieve something else? (This is my favourite way to use mass combat - my Dark Ages game had, er, several city sacking sessions during which PCs were trying to traverse the fires and the furore to rescue so and so or stop such and such escaping or simply to escape.)

I hope all this has shown that you can include a mass battle in your games without needing a ton of new rules (that you won't use very often so they're a faff to learn, internalise and run at table anyway). Quite often, less is more, and you can boil down a situation into something you can represent with unusual uses of the conventional rules.

#meta #vtda #vampire the dark ages #vampire the masquerade #vtm #reddit repost #gm advice

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hylaversicolor · 2 years

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i have so much to talk about

but let’s start with this line from edo hashirama (in the present) describing the aftermath of the fallout between him and madara: “he decided to completely erase his friend, to erase me from his life.”

this shows so much about hashirama, namely: he does not fully understand madara’s predicament at this point in time. right now the number one thing keeping hashirama going is the future village that he and madara have committed to building, for the simple fact that he and madara are doing it together. he doesn’t understand how madara could choose izuna over this dream he had thought they shared, because in hashirama’s mind, the village is a win for everybody, izuna included. this is something i love about hashirama: he’s determined to a fault, and once he gets his mind set on something, regardless of his circumstances or surroundings, he will pursue it. this is not necessarily a good thing either. just look at his outburst during kawarama’s funeral. butsuma was wrong to hit him obviously, but he was technically out of line, shouting and making a scene during a difficult moment. then the same thing happens when madara renounces his and hashirama’s friendship; hashirama makes one last plea to madara, saying stuff like “you haven’t really given up on our dream have you??” even though there’s no way madara will be able to respond; he’s got tajima breathing down his neck and izuna’s life on the line. the only option for madara in this situation is to make a swift retreat.

this “he decided to erase me from his life” is a misinterpretation of madara’s intentions. hashirama is hurt (they both are) but he doesn’t yet understand that regardless of whether or not madara was telling the truth when he said hashirama was stronger than him, by causing tajima to retreat, he saved their lives. he was able to take a three-against-three battle and disperse tajima’s and butsuma’s attention from his and hashirama’s younger siblings, ensuring that the next time they met in combat, tajima and butsuma would both have bigger things on their mind than taking out the other’s child. in addition, if you read the scene this way, this was also the first instance of madara sacrificing his own “”social standing”” to save people he cares about, a pattern of behavior that would ultimately culminate in the moon’s eye plan. madara is willing to be disliked or seen as the enemy to spare the lives of his loved ones. it took ending his friendship with hashirama, but he got izuna out of immediate danger. (for now.)

and then hashirama and madara pull their punches for 15+ years. just look at the difference in the way they fight before and after izuna dies. before izuna dies they’re almost casually exchanging blows; after he dies they’re practically launching nukes at each other, but put a pin in this and we’ll come back to it. unlike izuna and tobirama, who are aiming to kill,* just look at the way madara is wide open when he notices izuna getting hurt and rushes to him. hashirama doesn’t do a thing about it, in fact he even throws down his sword and makes it clear he has no intentions of fighting further. they were just going through the motions.

anyway now i NEED to talk about the most pivotal madara moment in the entire series. this goes way back to the stone skipping. the stones are not just stones, they are ideals, and hashirama effortlessly gets his stone across the river while it takes a few tries for madara to get the same result. all of naruto is just madara and hashirama (albeit behind the scenes sometimes) getting on and off the same page, over and over, understanding each other and then going long stretches where they have no idea what’s going on in the other’s head. they’re trying to complete each other’s dreams and complement each other’s worldview but they’re coming at it from two different directions. (more on this later)

anyway the stones are not just stones and we know this because they are the objects used to deflect butsuma and tajima’s killing blows. in a single instant hashirama and madara save their brothers’ lives and sacrifice their dreams for the future at the same time. but while hashirama immediately rebounds and has his aforementioned outburst, madara does not. he accepts defeat and decides that izuna and the village cannot coexist. madara has created this dichotomy where hashirama has not. it’s either the village OR izuna; hashirama OR izuna. it can’t be both in his mind. hashirama and madara both have hangups. where hashirama gets single-minded and has tunnel vision about the village, madara does the same about izuna. and. and!! in the one moment where he has the opportunity to actually save izuna’s life, he chooses to honor izuna’s wishes and not give in to the senju’s demands; he chooses izuna’s honor over izuna’s well-being. and then he disappears from the battlefield and abandons the clan to the senju and basically makes the worst mistake of his life, all because he cares more about izuna than anything else in the world and cannot conceptualize the coexistence of his and hashirama’s dream and izuna’s life. madara has been selfless the whole time. every decision he makes is based on keeping izuna safe and alive, but there’s a contradictory selfishness to it (ok selfishness isn’t the right word, it’s not really selfishness as much as it’s selflessness as a way of deflecting guilt and blame), because madara has self-worth issues stemming from the loss of his other brothers and if he loses his last brother he has nothing left to live for. madara is TERRIFIED. he has to save izuna because if he doesn’t, he is worthless.

ok now it’s time for the pin from before. after izuna dies madara is the one launching nukes. hashirama’s strategy is all about de-escalation. this is the first time madara has actually gone all out against him. he’s got the susanoo, he’s shouting, he is angry and grieving and he doesn’t care who he hurts. uchiha, senju, clans are meaningless now that izuna is dead. but hashirama tries to put him to sleep with the pollen and continues trying to appeal to madara’s humanity, even if there’s only the slightest chance that madara can be reached. it ALL comes down to the village and their dream, too.

then comes the ultimatum, and again this is madara and hashirama struggling to get on the same page and understand each other once more. madara is defeated and tobirama is about to kill him when hashirama is like, wait. to which madara just kind of sighs and says get it over with, it would be an honor to die by your hand (god. GOD.). i think he always kind of expected things to end up like this, with hashirama killing him after he lost izuna, just because so much of madara’s character from the beginning was motivated by fear of losing izuna, he had to have imagined it ending this way.

so then madara gets desperate, and he’s like ok if i make the most insane ultimatum i can possibly think of he’ll definitely just kill me,** because he definitely won’t kill tobirama, and he won’t kill himself either. BUT he made a severe miscalculation and completely underestimated how little self worth hashirama actually has. this is a wild moment because hashirama was never at a disadvantage like madara was; he always just barely had the upper hand in everything from conversation to combat. he was the one whose stone crossed first, he was the one who was still standing at the end of their spars while madara was on the ground. and yet in that moment he was ready to toss his advantage aside. he was completely ready to die because in hashirama’s mind, it’s for madara. it’s for their dream that they shared. he can’t do it with anyone else. it has to be the two of them.

the suicide attempt was hashi’s response, 15+ years too late, to madara’s “maybe this village thing just isn’t going to work out [implied: because you value ideals and i value my brother].” and this is not to say that hashi didn’t value his brother too but because of madara’s specific hangups he felt that he couldn’t dedicate any energy anywhere else, whereas hashirama just genuinely believes in himself so much that he is able to protect tobirama and have this village in his head. and it’s not that hashi thinks of himself highly he just thinks he needs to be the one to build the village for the same reason madara thinks he alone can protect izuna. they both had the same thought process and came to different conclusions. (sidenote: the fade from madara’s gloved hand grabbing the kunai to them both un-gloved, shaking hands???? i am. feral)

and just as madara has this contradictory selfless/selfish reasons thing going on with regards to izuna, hashirama has a similar thing. deep down, hashirama really really really wants madara to like him. he is admired and liked by the senju clan and eventually by the village when that comes to be, but the person whose respect he really truly yearns for is madara’s, because madara was the very first person to Understand hashirama. madara was the first person to see hashirama as someone whose opinions should be valued, someone who was going to change the world for the better someday. everybody else up to that point had ridiculed him or shut him down or questioned him when he said the world is messed up and i’m going to fix it. he is Worth Something when madara is there, and he NEEDS madara to give him the ok before he builds the village. it is THEIRS.

which brings me back to “he decided to completely erase me from his life”. this is DEVASTATING to hashirama, just as izuna’s death is to madara, because the village/izuna carry equal weight in hashirama/madara’s minds. the whole warring states period was madara not understanding how izuna could fit into hashirama’s dreams for the future, and hashirama not understanding how izuna WOULDN’T fit into it, because they are just both that stubborn.

*maybe. perhaps a tobirama meta soon? there’s a whole separate other thing going on with tobirama this whole time that i would LOVE to get into at some point

**he knew hashirama wouldn’t kill tobirama, and he obviously didn’t want hashirama to die because the second hashirama tried to kill himself madara stopped him.

#txt #naruto #madara #hashirama #hsmd #founders #meta

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exp123mon · 8 months

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Just gonna mass dump Frontier thoughts rather than post episode by episode. I just wanna watch and enjoy then scribble thoughts down afterwards. This isn't like serious reviews or anything.

EP 2. Wolfmon of Light - Battle in the Underground Maze! -details re: the missing chunks of world which I was wondering about just 15 minutes ago are revealed -Tomoki wanting to be a hero is sweet but given how Digimon loves psychologically torturing children, I am deeply concerned for him lol -Blue Boy is Koji, like the delicious fungus! -what is it with Digimon and chocolate? also a train having a huge tongue like that is terrifying in a way I can't quite describe -more screentime for Izumi and Junpei! (So much so that I actually remembered their names roffle) The vibe I got from Izumi in the first ep was that she thinks of herself as being more mature than others and Junpei being concerned about what others think (in a kind of "socially cowardly" way) and that follows through here. I'm not sure I'm articulating what I mean properly lol. But it's pretty good characterisation so far to give the characters such little screentime in the first ep but still communicate a lot about their personalities. -After Takuya and Izumi fall down the hole, Neemon turns to Bokomon and asks "should we fall down too?" gave me a good chuckle, I'm looking forward to seeing what these two bring to the group -Raremon is gross and creepy, nice. I was starting to think Koji's evolution debut would be him beating up some babies who wanted chocolate lol -Koji just being accidentally pushed into a hole that happened to contain the Spirit felt weak but pretty funny, like damn dude, thank goodness it wasn't one of those holes that just. fell. forever. into the air outside lol -Also I dunno if there was just little/no music in episode 1 (don't recall to be honest) but the bgm in this episode was really nice -overall a decent episode, the Pagumon chases were a nice more lighthearted threat after LITERAL HELL DOG TRIES BURNING TINY CHILDREN ALIVE

EP 3. I Won't Allow Bullying! Evolve into Chakmon of Ice -So they have the chance to return home, Junpei wants to, the others send Tomoki away. I always love in stories when kids are like "we're OLDER so LISTEN to us!" and the elders are like 10 years old -it's nice the kids don't all just get along, even if they're sticking together, there's obviously friction with their personalities and what they want to do -Bokomon and Neemon are nice support/comic relief, they're funny but not overbearing which is always my worry with characters like this -more backstory!! so Lucemon was an evil tyrant, but now it's Cherubimon who's screwing up the world… we got ourselves a fallen angel theme going so far -THAT CANDMON HAS A MOUSTACHE -Bruh the scene where Tomoki uses his hat to try dousing the Candmon to protect Takuya is so sweet, this kid's legit, best character for sure lol -Chakmon's evolution animaton is so cute omg, Chakmon always looked so serious in its artwork but it's super cute -not gonna lie Wizardmon just appearing suddenly confused the hell outta me haha -overall though i really liked this ep, the episodes so far are all really nicely paced

EP 4. My Kicks Hurt! The Female Warrior Fairymon -The Forest Terminal being in the forest literally makes so much sense my guy. I mean you are in Crazy Whacko Nonsense world but still. "I live in Ocean View." "Oh, where's that?" "In the middle of the desert." -Floramon's head is apparently completely empty. Oh my. Which makes me wonder how the Mushmon… made their mushroom soup… -Izumi straight up SLAPPING Mushmon is so good. I always love when Digimon kids are totally out of their league fighting these monsters but they don't care and still try to mess 'em up. -Woodmon secretly three Mushmon in a trench coat confirmed. -lol that booty attack Fairymon does. "no no it isn't the ten-year-old Izumi, it's FAIRYMON, it's totally different we swear ehehehehe" I'm kinda curious about what the dub looks now though -Sucks that Izumi's evolution debut has her getting knocked out cold like that. Just seemed like an excuse to have Koji show up and barely interact again. -I'm 99% sure Bokomon is secretly The Ultimate Evil this series. -Junpei being so convinced he's getting a Spirit is nice. Shows he's been paying attention. A shame the same cannot be said of Koji who still refuses to tag along with the main gang. My fella, you are right there in the intro with them. You cannot escape.

#not art #digimon frontier #frontier watching

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jessiethewitchzard · 1 year

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Rosen Garten Saga(Fuji Sakimori) and Joshi Kouhei(Jiro Matsumoto) are two fascinatingly messy transgender stories. I wouldn't say they're good, necessarily. They're both pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways, and they have loads of problematic stuff, but they both come from a place of the author struggling to process some messy gender feelings.

They're bout about some who is technically not a trans girl going on a surreal ultraviolent adventure, and dealing with crazy battles and struggling with weird ideas about gender and sexuality.

They both feature a fair bit of misogyny and transphobia, though it is absolutely addressed in the text. These are characters who are slowly, messily, processing their feelings about gender in a hostile world, and sometimes that means awful and unpleasant things happen and they respond poorly to them.

Rosen Garten Saga reads like the author started out as a horny misogynist, and then, over the course of writing the first few arcs, genuinely became a better person, and pivoted to unpacking those ideas and exploring how toxic masculinity is ridiculous and embarassing. If it was always planning to unpack the gender stuff, it does a very poor job of telegraphing it. I absolutely would not blame you if you took one look at the opening few chapters and ran away screaming from how awful it looks, but I promise it does engage with how fucked up the ideas it presents are. It's definitely aware that sexual violence has more in common with violence than it does with sex, but it does approach normal violence in a pretty standard shonen-battle way. It discusses a lot of stuff about sexuality and kink. Often by dropping the characters into a kinky situation, and having them get real uncomfortable. I might describe the overall arc as one of teasing apart the difference between attraction to women, and wanting to be a woman, and of unpacking various kinks and wrestling with whether liking them makes you a bad person or not.

Joshi Kouhei is, according to the author, NOT about being transgender, but "just about cool girls fighting monsters" However, he has a trans sister, and there's so many scenes in it that read like real personal moments in a trans woman's journey to accepting herself. It's very popular in the japanese trans community. It ends in kind of a messy place that could be taken as a metaphorical "sometimes people have good reasons for staying in the closet"(as well as a metaphor of actually transitioning, it's complicated), so if the author IS trans, I'm sure he'd rather not have people ask about it. This one is less horny(though still fascinated by women's bodies). It's more focused on, like, the social roles of women, and their relationships, and the idea of just existing in a woman's body while doing normal stuff.

Neither one is what I'd call especially feminist, but they're both very visceral explorations of someone's messy pile of gender feelings. I want someone else to read them, not necessarily because I think they're good, but because they're fascinatingly flawed. Though they both have some very good moments.

both have a fair bit of fanservice, though it comes across thematically like the author is grappling with "am I attracted to girls, or do I want to BE a girl? do I even have a clear idea of what the difference is?"

cw in Rosen Garten Saga for basically every kind of power-dynamic kink: sexual violence, sadomasochism, tentacle monsters, bondage, mind control, age-play, 600-yr old lolis, and more

cw in Joshi Kouhei for: suicide, self harm, body horror, gore, the horrors of war, ego death, ambiguous consent, and brainwashing

#aj oc #trans #manga #lgbt #rosen garten saga #joshi kouhei #jiro matsumoto #fuji sakimori

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llycaons · 10 months

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I've been revisiting youtubers recently. some I like under the cut

Folding Ideas: a marvelously well-spoken social and media critic, with commentary on symbolism in film. his breakdowns of the editing failures of films such as Suicide Squad and The Snowman are entertaining and informative, and he has mini-episodes on narrative concepts like Thermian arguments (the Watsonian of Watsonian vs. Doylist explanations) and ludonarrative dissonance. politically on top of it (mostly), extremely astute, and a pleasure to listen to. See Earthsea and Adaptation Sickness, End of Evangelion and the Audience Author Membrane, The Thermian Argument, The Art of Editing and Suicide Squad, Cinematic Trainwreck – The Snowman: A Vlog, Cooking Food On The Internet For Fun And Profit, Annihilation and Decoding Metaphor

Ariel Bissett: a delightful young Canadian book reviewer takes us on her journey of renovating her old house. mostly cosmetic changes rather than structural as she's essentially self-taught, but she's a charismatic and charming host with a unique eye for style and color. her design sense matches closely with my own (we're both Monet fans), so I find her videos very soothing and satisfying to watch. I haven't seen any of her book reviews, but she seems thoughtful and passionate. I like all her house videos, but particularly the three yearly house tours so far (intro video, one year in, two years in,), Building The Perfect Guest Room, Complete Office Renovation!, Living Room Renovation To Look Like Emma's House!, Building The Perfect Reading Nook, Transforming the Smallest Room In My House With Wallpaper, and honestly all the others. it's a real pleasure to see the changes she makes over the months. I can't wait for the kitchen redo!

Accented Cinema: probably my favorite youtuber right now. he's a Chinese Canadian filmmaker with a focus on films and film-making processes, both his own and those from China (most often) and other non-American countries (occasionally). his videos have brought me to tears more than once. honestly I love too many to list all of them so I'll just list my top favorites but I highly recommend this channel. I loved Why China Cared About Kung Fu Panda, Shadow: Adapting Chinese Art, Who Killed Captain Alex: What Makes a Movie Good?, Chinese Animation: In Search of a Style (brief shot of mdzs donghua at the very end), Why Ghibli's First 3D Looks Soulless, East vs. West: Differences in Story Philosophy, Mahjong & Crazy Rich Asians, Why Are Kung Fu Movies So Patriotic, How I Made a Fake Video Essay

Local Script Man: a professional screenwriter whose advice and commentary on creating stories is really interesting and different than what you tend to see on tumblr. he tends to be kind of harsh but not in mean-spirited way, just in a way that makes it obvious that he knows what he's talking about. I like Oops No Plot, The Key to Writing Freakishly Good Dialogue, and both parts of 5 Essential Storytelling Rules I Just Made Up (part 1, part 2)

Schaffrillas Productions: a guy breaks down and ranks various animated films, often by studio. these videos are just a lot of fun. I liked his videos on the Shrek franchise (one, two, three, four, and the musical), and Raya vs. Encanto - How One Message Failed and Another Succeeded

Super Eyepatch Wolf: this man is, as we speak, convincing me to read Berserk. he has a slow, dramatic presentation of his arguments that draw you in and a great sense of humor. All of his "Why You Should Watch" videos are interesting even if you don't have any plans to watch the show he's describing, because they give an overview of the themes and strengths without spoiling it. he also presents a wealth of information on manga/anime history, and miscellaneous commentary on other media. I liked in particular The Fall of The Simpsons: How it Happened, "Non Battle" Battle Anime, What Makes A Fight Scene Interesting?, The Impact of Dragon Ball Z: The Series that Changed Everything, Why You Should Watch Yu Yu Hakusho, What Makes A Good Character Design?,

Cinema Therapy: these two guys are charming and sometimes funny. they can get annoying and their analyses tend to be very superficial, but I really like their videos tearing into bad romantic cliches. I like 10 TROPES We Hate About Rom Coms, 7 Tips from THE ADDAMS FAMILY to Keep Your Marriage Alive, TITANIC: Love Triangles and Compatibility, Therapist Reacts to THE KISSING BOOTH (Part 1, Part 2), Relationship Therapist Ranks Christmas Romances with guest Shona Kay

Sideways: a channel about music! knowing nothing about music at all, I find these videos really interesting and accessible. see Why the Music in Cats (2019) is Worse than you Thought, Why Pipe Organs Sound Scary, Decoding the Music of The Matrix, Why Avatar has the Most Ironic Soundtrack of All Time, Why the Soundtrack to Shrek is Actually Genius, Ear Training and Sight Singing: The Superpower you get from Music School, Why "Spoken Word" Makes me Nervous

Pop Culture Detective: I like this channel for the analyses of troubling tropes in media, especially the ones on misogyny. See Marvel Defenders of The Status Quo, The Ethics of Looking And The “Harmless” Peeping Tom, Born Sexy Yesterday, The Complicity of Geek Masculinity on the Big Bang Theory, Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs (Part one, Part two), Stranger Things, Belligerent Romance, and the Danger of Nostalgia

favorite misc videos here

#part 2 for misc videos coming next #cor.txt #save #video essays

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triviareads · 9 months

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ARC Review of When the Duke Loved Me by Lydia Lloyd

Summary:

Catherine Forster was ruined by John Breminster, Duke of Edington a decade ago, and thanks to the enmity between their families, he refused to marry her. Now, a decade later, Catherine is a penniless spinster, and John is on her doorstep, asking for her for her help with a sensitive matter that concerns the scandal that occurred between their families years ago...

My review:

This is Lydia Lloyd's debut novel, and I thought she did a great job of writing main characters who were individually sympathetic and dynamic together, as well as an overarching mystery plot that kept me on my toes the entire time.

A lot of the plot is centered around the enmity between the Breminsters and the Forsters. About a decade before the prologue starts, John's father Reginald and Catherine's Aunt Mary (who raised her) were caught in flagrante and the fallout meant financial and reputational ruin for Catherine and her family, as well as John's family being torn apart. Now, John's father is dead and he's left behind an annuity that Mary must accept, or it will spell social ruin for John's sister. The problem is, Mary's disappeared and John is convinced Catherine can help him find her.

Catherine is a heroine who's reduced to some pretty dire circumstances (girlie literally has the residents of her household faking the plague to avoid debt collectors), so she's scrappy and realistic enough to go along with John's scheme without much fuss. John is presented as something of a feckless rake (with rake friends who I hope get their own stories), but we see the hidden, more caring side to him soon enough.

What's interesting is, between the ruination from a decade prior, as well as John initially casting aspersions on Catherine's morality ("a spinster can't kiss as well as YOU did"), you would think they have an uphill battle to even tolerate one another, but they didn't. I thought it was refreshing that despite everything, they don't bother to deny their mutual attraction right from the get-go. They grow to care for one another along the way (this is definitely a case of sex helping their relationship grow, and sex is their form of communication), and it's fairly smooth sailing all things considered. Really, the greater conflict(s) are how they individually grapple with the complicated relationships between them and their respective parental figures.

This relative lack of tension until the end also makes the climax more poignant, when Catherine is faced with the choice to break off their engagement and leave, or be forced to keep secrets from John, which she can't bring herself to do because of how much she loves and cares for him.

The mysterious relationship between Reginald and Mary serves as a compelling backdrop. For one, there are a lot of parallels between them and John/Catherine (like I think John tries to fuck Catherine on the same desk he caught them on when he was younger lol). They ultimately served as a warning for the main couple for how not to proceed with their relationship.

The sex:

The overall sex vibes in this book can probably be best described as "down and ready any time, anywhere". Delving into the specific, I'm shameless enough to say I'm all for an instant gratification moment and Lydia delivered with the beginning "ruination" scene... set in the middle of ruins at that. And the ramifications even a decade later are pretty damn hilarious: At some point John admits to Catherine that he couldn't get off unless he was thinking about her to which my reactions in order were a) GASP b) *cackles* c) wait.... this is actually romantic?

There's also a great dry-humping scene pretty early on which honestly might have been hotter than the actual sex? It starts with him telling her he wants to suck ink off her fingers, and ends with him high-tailing out of there with a Boner of Shame and Guilt (we love a selfless man) so I was 100% entertained the whole time.

Overall:

If you enjoy a your historical romances with a side of mystery, then this is the book for you. I loved the easy chemistry between the main couple and how they slowly unraveled the truth of the past. This is a fantastic debut for Lydia Lloyd, and I look forward to future books in this series.

Thank you to Tule Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

#arc review #Lydia Lloyd #Tule Publishing #netgalley #historical romance #arc #romance novel

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horizon-verizon · 1 year

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You are incredibly racist, GRRM himself has said that the closest equivalent of Dorne to the real world is the Moorish influences of Spain, and mentions PALESTINE and Wales as being two other influences. Literally his own words. Even in Game of Thrones, they filmed the Water Garden scenes in the Alcazar of Seville, a beautiful Moorish castle in Spain. That castle was literally built by Muslims and incorporates verses from the Quran and countless traditional Arabic and Islamic architectural elements. Fun fact: Alcázar comes from the Arabic word (al-qasr), meaning fort/castle/palace.

Dorne’s conquest by Nymeria parallels Spain’s conquest by the Moors. Nymeria Martell most obviously can be paralleled with Tariq Ibn Ziyyad, the Muslim Amazigh general hailing from Morocco that led the Muslim conquest of Spain on behalf of the Umayyad Caliphate, by crossing the Mediterranean sea and landing in Gibraltar. According to legend, Tariq Ibn Ziyyad burned his fleet before the Battle of Guadalete to prevent any of his troops from retreating back home. Who else burned their fleets to show commitment to their new conquest ? Nymeria Martell.

GRRM credits the “hot, dry” climate to being similar to that of Spain or Palestine’s, and that the mountains where the stony Dornishmen dwell being the equivalent to Wales. The Sandy Dornishmen are described to dwell in the deserts and along rivers, which is a descriptor that describes so many parts of West Asia (incorrectly called the “Middle East”) and North Africa. GRRM mentions Palestine, which has many streams and a very important river, the River of Jordan, as well as the Naqab region, a desert region of Palestine, therefore drawing parallels from the Sandy Dornishmen to the Palestinians is correct since Palestine is sandy, dusty, and dry. Finally, there’s a Stony Dornishmen, which GRRM equates to Wales.

*EDITED POST* (4/14/24)

I assume that this is the post you are responding to.

We must remember that the rules determining what racial group you are a part of is solely determined by the legal definitions of the created designations of "white", "mestizo", "Black", or whatever said society has created in their past and present. which is why when you travel, you sorta change race or have it "tweaked" to mean something else. In Westeros, there is not such legal, social, etc. concept of race that matches the modern U.S.A or any European definition. If you said Corlys was "Black", it would mean nothing to a Stark.

Race is also different from ethnicity or nationality: you can be Paelstinian Arab but or a Black American but be white passing enough to "become" white. You can be of East Asian descent and have monolids to be racialized as "Asian", but were born and partially raised in Germany (nationality) with the ethnicity of Uyghur.

Definitions of racism:

(Google) prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another (Merriam Webster) a belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

This is from GRRM about "race" in ASoIaF and the Dornish:

Did GRRM ever actually say the words, "stony Dornish men are a completely different ethnic group from sandy or salty" or that "stony vs salty vs sandy Dornish people--apart from the nonDornish peoples' ways of categorizing them--are peoples with very different and maybe opposing customs the reflect in certain "laws" in Dorne"?

For the Martells and Dornishpeople to be PoCs exactly like the PoCs today in real life, there kinda has to be a history of a) the Dornish having been assimilated into Westerosi society/infrastructures and made subordinate to the "white" Westerosi b) actual systematic oppression against the Dornish from the nonDornish, and Dorne has been able to maintain its independence from Westeros pretty much since Westeros' inception. Even after Daeron II married Myriah Martell, the Martells and the Dornish still worked as their own principality rather than a region totally under the control of the Westerosi monarchy. There was no colonization or successful imperialist campaigns on Dorne. Like the Targs, Dorne is "queer" not for skin color nor religion so much as the Rhoynish traditions towards gender equity--at least regarding succession and leadership--and sexuality

I argued for how the Westerosi see the Dornish, which is not like how medieval EUs saw non-Christian Africans or Arabic-speaking Muslims. It is how Anglo Saxon Normans would have seen Spanish/Eu Mediterraneans. Watsonianly. This is a question of who are the people categorizing "race", and how is "race" categorized by those people.

There is tension b/t Stormlanders/Reachmen and the Dornish people (mostly Stony Dornishmen of the north) but it's hardly equivalent to what is known as "race". Not yet. Daeron I's categorization is a beginning, A PRECURSOR. With how Daeron II's subjects rebelled with a strong anti-Dornish sentiment (not enough misogyny [succession rules] & and a persistent sense of having court & office positions "taken" from the "local" nobles) the Otherness indicates a xenophobia but here is no concept of "white" or "PoC" anywhere.

I have also already addressed the whole stony vs salty vs sandy thing HERE and HERE. In both of those posts, I acknowledge that there are Islamic and Arabic inspirations for the creation of Dorne and I still recognize them there. And the Rhoynish (mot the Martells or any Dornish people) are definitely PoC. It's pretty obvious. But Dornish people--including the Martells--while descended from the Rhoynish and Rhoynisheness definitely determine how nonDornish perceive and identify Dornish people, are not racialized as today's PoCs are. They are closer to how Jewish, Spaniards, Mediterranean Europeans, and Southern European Europeans are racialized by Northwestern Europeans.

Those monikers Daeron I gave distinguished them based on appearance alone, hence the beginning of skin-color-race in terms of how much Rhoynish culture and blood mixed with the previous Andal-only people's, more of the Rhoynish cultural influence the more you go south and less when you go north. If you called a Wyl (example of a Dornish house of the north) anything something other than Dornish and just called them a "stony" Dornishman, I think they'd take offense.

Once again, when we see how the concept of race developed from religion to skin color, in Spain, you see that religion was the first way for medieval people to differentiate themselves into "races"--and when they used the word "race", they meant just "people from that region/religion/history", not necessarily people with such looks--more than skin color (though color was sometimes mentioned alongside, to identify, so as to say that this African was "safer").

Then there is the fact that there were intermarriages between Arabic-speaking, Muslims, Africans to be called "Moors" (a word from Christian Europeans of the pale variety, not those peoples) and with Catholic Spaniards. Today, Spain is considered a white European country even with its numerous ethnicities and history of conquest by the Umayyad Caliphate. Dorne, in autonomy and a unit of territory, is like both Wales and Spain. Today, European regions that are considered, racially, white.

Doylistically, while the narrative gets its inspiration from real life PoCs architecture and figures, the fact that Dorne, wherever you go even with the different levels of Rhoynish influence, is an amalgamation of Andal and Rhoynish that still has that Andal Seven/Catholic religion, and the Common tongue (Rhoynish is not spoken by most people in Dorne except the Green blood bc the Red Princes outlawed it) set up universally despite equal primogeniture and tolerance of homosexuality/extramarital sex means that those things that precede race-by-face/skin and then set up the basis for race-of-skin/face (religion, language, customs) does exactly not resemble what happened for the same as real life (again, Spain is not a PoC country in spite of the Umayyad conquest and influence).

Again, to me it felt like they are socially Othered how Jewish and Welsh, Scot, Irish, etc. people are Othered in Europe...not in modern times but in the context of various medieval English regions temporally and geographically. Again, Watsonianly. But there's strong argument for the other. While they are definitely Othered and have PoC inspiration and but they aren't Othered in their world like PoCs are Othered.

Either way, I don't think GRRM is conveying that Rhaegar left Elia specifically because he thought she was racially inferior to himself or wasn't owed respect due to her Dornishness. Which I already argued was untrue in the linked post above for the history that Tags and Martells have. And which was the point of me even bringing up race and Elia, since that was the argument Elia-supporters-Rhaegar-bashers have.

#ASoIaF ethnicities #asoiaf asks to me #asoiaf race #Dorne #asoiaf

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