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#the story literally bonks you over the head with ''its because hes a child and can literally never grow up or mature'' MULTIPLE TIMES...
dapperrokyuu · 1 year
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Been reading Noragami since the news of its ending motivated me. The comments under chapters are such a peek into how desperate some people are to blame a child to avoid accepting that things are just complicated and messy sometimes, lol.
Like, it cant be "Everyone had responsibility in this," nor "Its nobody's fault, really," theres this interesting obsession with needing to have A Sole Person (1) To Be Upset With.
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ms-indifferwnt · 3 years
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Clouds pt 1
Taeil
Boyfriend!Taeil x genderneutral!Reader
"Its your choice, pretend you don't know or go inside and confront them about this"
Warning: Cursing, Suggestive, Yelling, Angst, mention of mental harm 
Word Count: 5.4k
Note: Yayyy!!! 100 followers
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Taeil and you probably take the cake for the most Clichè love story. The Best friends to lovers trope. Like seriously, you and Taeil have been friends since birth, technically, Your mom and his mom has been friends since college you see, met and gotten married to the love of their lives a year apart, gotten pregnant almost the same time and have birth a couple of months apart, so in reality, you and Taeil have been fated to be bestfriends 
When you were born six months apart after Moon Taeil, he and his family visited you and your mother in the Hospital while your dad was busy running around the hospital telling everyone he was a dad
Ofcourse you and Taeil had no memory of this but your mom’s were more than happy to introduce their children. Shipping the two of you since you were born
You were six years old, that was your first memory of Taeil, maybe because you always thought of him as the annoying kid that lives a block away who loves to pester you, you were playing with other kids when, your neighbor, Doyoungie (who you had affectionally nicknamed, bunnie at the time) had kicked the ball to your face you remembered that you cried as he said sorry. You were angry and hurt and Taeil was the only one who laughed at the scene but upon seeing your crying face he hugs you and holds your hand “Aww don’t cry, Y/n” he says happily “Lets go play more ok?”
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Taeil’s first time thinking of you as someone more than the snotty brat he was forced to take care of was when you got lost, he didn’t have to take care of you then, but he thought he’d bring you along, he was five and you were turning four and he wanted to buy ice-cream,  you wanted ice-cream, so he took you along to that ice-cream shop by the corner. It wasn’t dangerous his mom was with you
He bought ice cream, two of them, knowing that you won’t be able to finish it so he can eat two ice-creams but the moment he turned he doesn’t see you. He panicked and started looking for you all over the shop, trying not to alert his mom but when all hope seemed lost, he started sobbing, where are they? are they hurt? They’re mom is gonna be so sad-
“Mooooom!” He cries and runs to his mother who holds the boy in her arms 
“Why are you crying what happened?”
“Y/n” He looks around “I cant find”
His mom smiles fondly at the boy “Are you worried?”
He nods “I’m supposed to protect them!” He cries and his mom coos gently carrying him and taking him out of the shop, placing him down
“ok, my strong boy” His mom says and kisses the top of his head, “look there” He obeys, with teary eyes only to spot you walking towards them with cotton candy in her hands and he pulled away from his mom to run to you
“Where were you?” He asked and held your face 
“Clouds” You claimed happily showing the cotton candy proudly to him
“You should’ve waited” He sniffled and you reached over to wipe his cheeks, he smiles, but didn’t stop you
“Sorry” You whisper and he nods opening his mouth so he can taste the clouds and you happily letting him take a bite
He looks up to see his mom and your dad grinning at the sight “Hi, Y/n’s dad” he waves and looks at you who was playing with the cloud on your hand “No, Y/n.” He takes it and bonks your head making you wince “you’ll get sticky-”
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You and Taeil literally grew up side by side, He was there for you back in middle school when this girl bullied you because you and Taeil would always be together.
Taeil wasn’t happy the way that girl treated you but you always ignored her, she was just jealous that you were bestfriends with him, so you had a habit of holding him back whenever he was about to say something to her, or you try to anyway
“Taeil” you hissed and tugged on his shirt again once he stared down at her, of course you know Taeil is a big softie who cries over Hachiko, The dog that waited for his master by the train station despite his master dying, and that dog from I am Legend, so you know he really means no harm, its just, its his big brother instincts that make him fight anyone who attempts to harm you cause as he quotes “You’re an annoying little snot rag I had to take care of, So if anyone has the right to mentally harm you its me” and rewarded him with a kick to the shin “Lets just go, leave her be”
He looks at you and you smiled softly “We can go get clouds before we go home” you offered once he allows you to take him away, he raises an eyebrow at your words
“You’re fourteen and you still call them clouds?”
You roll your eyes “Cotton candy” you said in distaste “That is the most disgusting word I have ever heard of, Clouds on the other hand, sounds more magical”
He laughs “What about I start calling dumplings as meat pockets again?”
You made a face “What are you five?”
“I’m as cute as one”
“I hate Toddlers”
“No you don’t” He says and leads you to his bike, getting on it after handig you his backpack “You love kids”
You sat by the back, sitting on it with your legs to the side while you held on to his waist, pinching his side “No, I don’t”
He flinches and moves to swat your hands “Yes, you do, you love kids, you would play with them at the park whenever their parents are busy,” he points out and starts biking
“I have no idea what you’re taking about-”
“Look its Baby Yuri” he says saying the name of that child you were always so fond of
You perked “Where?” only to see that its an empty road and a laughter coming from him as a reminder that Baby Yuri’s house is far from here “Jerk” you glared at him and pinched him again, he swats your hand away “now hurry up and teach me how to read Morse codes” you said and held on to the back of his shirt
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The time Taeil stopped thinking like you were his little sister was when you dated on your second year of high school. Yes, cliché, but, at first he didn't care, he congratulated you and helped look stunning, he wasn't bitter that you were trying to show off for someone else, or that you were nervous to go on a date with someone else (not true, he did care, he was bitter, he hated every minute of it)
Three months into your relationship, you were crying in Taeil's arms, cause, apparently you had a fight, cause you were to close to Taeil and your fight resorted to yelling and you attempting to kick them
So when you called him, but you didn’t speak, he just heard your heavy breathing he knows you were upset, he knows that you’re trying every thing to not cry, he knows that if you speak you just might, so, he spoke first “Yours or mine?” he stops about three seconds after the first choice so you can hum or grunt (whichever you had the energy to do), then he’ll know what your answer is
You grunted at his second offer, and he stands up from his bed to start cleaning up around the house, “Sure, come over, you want me to pick-” He looks at his phone and you declined the call, so you’ll be coming over yourself. 
He moves to get to work, cleaning up the mess and getting the snacks you like before you arrive, and when he was finished, there you were, on his porch, looking like you were about to kick his door in
He reaches out to hold your hand which you pulled it away and walked inside. He wasn’t offended, he knows why you don’t like the affection, he knows that you breakdown easily. The fact that you haven’t even teared up yet was amazing, but you aren’t outside, you aren’t alone, It’s Taeil, your bestfriend the boy that has been by your side all your life so he knows, you need a hug
He grabbed you by the arm to pull you into his chest, you gasped and attempted to push him away but he shushes you with a small affectionate kiss on your forehead, “its ok,” he whispers “I know you wanna be strong, so its ok, its just me, you did well, you’ve been so strong up until now” he holds you close that you tightened your grip on his shirt “Its just me, Let me be strong for you”
You cried into his chest that day, after his words. You would never admit it, but Taeil is probably the only one who has seen you cry, he doesn’t mind, he’s your Strength, he knows that, you know that, so when it gets too much Taeil lets you cry on him lets you take it out, he makes you feel taken care off And he wouldn’t have it any other way
He managed to calm you down, petting your hair and then he bonks you, making you look at him, tear stained cheeks, eyes bloodshot, he laughs as you rub your head “Feel better?”
“A bit, yeah”
He hums and pulls away “Go take a shower,” he moved to his cupboards and taking out a fresh towel, handing it to you, well actually he didn’t hand it, he fucking threw it to your face, and yeah it hurt, but it made you laugh and he smiles back “Go clean up, I’ll lend you some of my clothes” he sighs “again. Snotty,” He teases “You gotta return my clothes sometime today, the near future”
You smile “No, I like them, go buy new ones instead” 
He laughs “Brat, I need my clothes”
You pout and crossed your arms "You're gonna make me cry again, big brother" you called him that only when you want something, and yeah, it usually works, but something about being referred to as big brother 
He rolls his eyes and threw one of his sweatshirts to you making you yelp, “Shut up and go”
You obeyed, smiling softly at him. He stares at his hands, You haven’t called him Big Brother for a very long time and something about that made his blood boil
He just wishes he knows why. He’s been feeling like this for quite sometime, whenever you get to friendly or to close to someone, he has no idea if he should be angry at you or that person your talking to. 
He settled on the sofa with a sigh and looked at the tv, where the opening scene of your favorite show was paused, your favorite snacks on the coffee table. His ears perked when he heard the familiar sound of his bathroom door opening, you were done, he turned to see your figure disappear somewhere behind his house, he knows what you’re doing you were gonna hang the towel you borrowed, then you reemerged, hair still obviously wet (you didn’t bother to properly dry it, he guesses, again), leaving wet splotches on his sweatshirt. You went up the stairs, he smiles, he has a feeling you’ll get pillows from his room, he can hear the door of his room open, yup he is right.
He stood up to get the towel you hanged and walked back to the living room to see you eating the snacks while cuddling his pillow, He really does know you now. He throws the towel at you “Dry your hair properly, or shave your head” he points out and you sigh, doing as your told with a playful kick to his thighs
Once you were done he leaves to hang it again, when he returns and sees you, he smiles excitedly sitting beside you, and you play the movie
It was just a random movie that you accidentally started liking (he was ninety-nine percent sure you only like it cause Ewan McGregor, who you think is “surprisingly charismatic”, is in it). He wasn’t watching though, the movie wasn’t interesting, he was watching you, reading you body language and facial expression, checking if you really are feeling better
He didn’t realize how hard he was staring at you, ‘till both of your eyes met, he froze, you were so close, his heart skipped a beat, was it just him? or was your eyes always that sparkly?
You lift your hand and placed the snack against his lips, feeding him “take a bite so you’ll stop looking at me like a lost puppy”
He blushes and nods, taking a bite. Looking away, he held his hands. He is fucking screwed
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You on the other hand found out you liked him around college. Unfortunately, you and Taeil have drifted apart over time. You don’t hang out as usual, he is studying a different major than you after all, it was only natural you both have other friends
You didn’t like it
Over time you and Taeil have been going through your own time, like getting your own apartments and campus that we want to be on, It doesn’t change, you and Taeil go to and from the Campus and Your houses around the same time since you are neighbors but when the two of you get to the Campus its like neither of you know each other 
Growing up with Taeil means, he was with you every waking moment and all of a sudden its gone, who will get used to that? He has been the person you grew with, who held yo while you were in pain and made you laugh when you were sad 
“I miss you” You whispered one time as you sat on to the passengers seat of his car when you both were heading home for the holidays “A lot” you whispered quiet enough so that he won’t hear but you were wrong
Ever since Taeil accepted the fact that he likes you he has become more insightful in things that upset you, and he can see (he doesn’t know why) but he can see how upset you were and hearing you say that, he didn’t mean it, but it gave him hope that you liked him too
That week Taeil climbed your window to wake you up, knocking on your window 'till you eventually woke up
You weren't exactly asleep, you were to busy looking at your hands, thinking about your Christmas dinner at the Moon Household, you and you're family was there except you and Taeil haven't even attempted to try and speak or approach each other and it only hurt you more when neither of you tried. You sat up and froze, seeing a shadowy figure by your window and your instincts went to overdrive and you opened your mouth to scream for your father
Taeil noticed your on guard position and he shakes his head, knocking against your window in a pattern that he wishes to every one holy that you remember
“Da-” you stopped midway once you hear the knocking looking at the figure, you realized it was Morse code, you listened as the figure tapped the glass, long tap, pause, That’s a ‘T’ tap, long tap, pause, And that’s an ‘A’ tap, pause, what is that one again? Tap, Tap, pause, I remember this one its an ‘I’ tap, long tap, tap, tap
You looked at the figure “Taeil?” you asked and opened the window, Taeil climbing in letting out a sigh of relief “What the hell are you doing here?”
He laughs “I was bored,” You frowned and sat on your bed, glaring at the boy making him raise both his hands in defense “I’m kidding, don’t hit me”
You rolled your eyes and lied sown on the bed “Yeah well, leave, I was sleeping” facing away from him
“We both know you weren’t”
“shut up”
He smiles and taps your thigh over the blanket “Scoot over, I had a nightmare, don’t wanna sleep alone”
You turned to look at him “What are you five?”
“Is that a no?” He asks with a sly smile, holding the blanket up so he can join you when you agree
You sighed, scooting to the side and he slides in beside you “Big baby”
He laughs, but covered his mouth to not wake your parents “I didn’t really have a nightmare” he whispered and moves to tuck an arm underneath his head as you copy his movements, the two of you facing each other “You were avoiding the at the party”
You scoffed “No, you were avoiding me” you huffed
“Are you ok?” He asked reaching up to swipe the hair that covers your face “You’ve been extremely quiet”
You yawned, you felt safe I his presence to even fall asleep to it, you couldn’t help but smile softly at the action “I’m ok” you lied, closing your eyes
“Don’t lie to me” he says, he has known you long enough to know when you lie and he won’t let it pass “I wanna help you”
“There’s nothing you can do”
“There will be if you tell me”
“Taeil”
“Y/n” 
You opened your eyes only to see him staring at you, with worry and care “I hate you”
He smiles, and you felt your cheeks warm up at the sight “No you don’t” You rolled your eyes and he nods “Tell me when you’re ready, but for now” he takes her free hand in a promise “I won’t leave your side, and don’t leave mine”
You looked at him, the at your hands, before nodding “Promise?”
He nods “Promise” He smiles as he watches you yawn “Get some sleep, ok?”
“Ok” you whisper and start to doze off “That’s all I ever wanted,” you whisper “I miss you” you whisper and fall asleep
Taeil’s heart was beating rapidly against his chest, miss him? what is that supposed to mean? was that even supposed to mean anything? And he was aware that your hands are still intertwined, he blushes, and holds it tighter, afraid of letting go. He watches you sleep this time, glad to see you peaceful, seeing you always made him happy, but sometimes knowing that you will never return these feelings, made him so weak that he wants to do nothing but lie in bed, he closes his eyes,  his finger tapping mindlessly on your pillow
L-O-V-E Y-O-U
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You and Taeil are still very much a bestfriends. And you two hang out majority of the time since Lee Taeyong, someone from Taeil's group of friends, and Suh Johnny, the American exchange student you became friends with started dating
So bam! You and Taeil were automatically the third wheel, which was fun since you two were already friends, everyone was talking and playing around while you and Taeil were speaking to other people. Taeil looks at you as you fed Jungwoo the tart you ordered and Taeil had to bite his tongue from saying something to the innocent boy
He starts tapping against the table as he looks through his phone, hoping you could understand the Morse code despite how loud the surroundings were
You did. And you couldn’t stop smiling, Fid me 2, He spelled, Feed you? and you understood, you must tease the boy “Ew” you said aloud so he’ll hear and he huffs making you laugh
“Aww I didn’t know you guys can read each other minds” Yuta teases and kicks Taeil under the table 
Taeil shrugs “We’re that close”
You roll your eyes, feigning annoyance but you smiled at Taeil as he focuses on other people, joking and playing with them
“I’m hungry” Taeyong says making everybody listen to him, and Johnny nodding 
“What do you wanna eat my love?” He asks and you gagged, making him elbow you 
Taeyong chuckled and nodded “something sweet” he starts and hums
Johnny looks at everyone as they start suggesting food, Johnny and Taeyong turn down some till Taeil spoke “What about clouds?”
The whole room turned quiet and you stared at the boy in front of you, wide eyed while the room started to rumble with questions
“What the fuck is a cloud?”
“We’re talking about food Taeil”
“Taeil, are you stoned?”
“Since when can you eat clouds?”
You bursted out laughing once he starts to redden from your friends words before glaring at you “Y/n help me” You shake your head still too busy laughing, he growls “Its nothing, its an inside joke, you guys wouldn’t understand!” he huffs and lean against his chair, crossing his arms 
Your laughter died sown as you stared at him, his eyes meeting yours and you blushed, taking a bite of your tart, Why are you blushing? you asked yourself, Why is your heart beating so fast? you might pass out if it continues, surely you don't like Taeil, TAEIL of all people, not him
“Y/n did you hear me?” Jungwoo says making you look at him and apologetically shake your head making him chuckle “I asked when you started liking him”
“I don’t”
He raises his eyebrow “Oh really? cool, cause I have this friend who wants me to set them up with Taeil”
You glared at him “Do you wanna die?” you asked annoyed
He laughs and winks “I will once you admit of your feelings” 
You kicked him, then you hear the table buzz, looking up to see someone approach Taeil, shyly offering him a box, “I,” They smiles, cheeks painted red and you couldn’t help but glare at the new comer “I got you some chocolates, I hope you like them”
Taeil bows and takes the chocolates, and you look away, while Jungwoo looks at you, with a sly grin, and you point a threatening finger at him “Not a word”
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Taeil and you confessed in the least romantic way possible, but you loved it all the same, granted you both fought, but it was cute and emotional all the same
He mindlessly played with the flashlight, switching it on and off against his wall, you were asleep on his bed cause you had a fight with your dad about a boy and you decided that sleeping over at Taeil's for the night wouldn't be that bad, so while you slept you lent hi your phone cause his was broken, why? easy, you threw it against the wall cause he wouldn't turn off his alarm "You dance to this shit Y/n" "I don't mind breaking your arm too"
So there he was switching your phone's flashlight on and off after he got bored spamming your gallery with his face. He was a little out of it, but he knows you're awake "You'll drain my battery" you murmured
"It'll charge" He mutters "My phone on the other hand" he says a bit snappy
You pout "I said I'm sorry, and I'm repairing it ok?"
He shrugs and continued going though your phone
You sat up and leaned your forehead against his back "I'm tired I wanna nap again"
"And I wanna date you, we don't get what we want"
You looked up at him so fast that you thought you'd have whiplash "What?" you’re heart beating against your chest
He smiled slyly, trying his best to not blush and moving away from you “End scene” He laughs and playfully winks at you, he chickened out, he hates how angry he has been these past couple of weeks, he hates seeing other people approach and flirt with you, he hates being the subject when you call someone your bestfriend or your older brother, he hates how he can’t push people who wanna keep you away cause he has no right. He hates that it was starting to hurt to look at you, to think about you, its not fair that he likes you and you’ll never be in his arms the way he wants you to. He hates how you’re seeing someone, and it isn’t him. He hates the fact that he loves you, why out of all people, he could love, why you?
“Taeil!” You raised your eyebrow and your voice “What the heck was that supposed to mean “You were kidding?” you didn’t mean it, but sounded so offended and sad, does Taeil really like you? your heart thumped at a quick pace when he looks at you, searching your face for answer
He gulps “why?” he asks facing you “What if I wasn’t?
You stared at him processing “Well-” He moves to tilt his head waiting for you to answer him, you retaliated by hitting him on the shoulder “You didn’t answer me asshole”
He looks at your phone not answering, not fiddling with anything except the morse code app you had in there, turning the sound and you can hear the message
-.-- . ... / -.-- . ... /-.-- . ... 
“What the heck is ‘yes’ supposed to mean?” You started as he starts pressing the app to send you another message and you groaned “just tell me”
.. -- / -.- .. -.. -.. .. -. --. / .. -- / -.- .. -.. -.. -- -. --.
“I’m Kidding?” You read aloud and scrunched your nose “What the heck is that supposed to be? Tell me Taeil!” you yelled and moved slap your phone away from him when he tries to type a new code “Tell me, do you like me or not?” he stares at you “Was it a joke or were you serious?”
He looks at you in shock as you angrily told him those words, why were the you taking this seriously? you don’t like him, right? then why are you so angry? why is it affecting you? “What’s it have to do with you?” 
“Taeil just tell me”
“Why do you need to know if its a joke or not?”
“Just tell me”
“Why? You’re dating someone right now right? why do you need to know?”
“Taeil I’m not..”
“No, tell me why” You opened your mouth when your phone on the floor of Taeil’s room started buzzing, speak of the devil, your phone flashed with his name and it mad Taeil’s blood boil even more when you stood up to take your phone, he grabbed it from your hands before you could answer and threw it to the side, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back on the bed, keeping you there, a hand on your wrist and the other on your waist “Tell me”
You glared at him gripping his collar “What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked angrily “You’ve been salty ever since I asked if I could stay over! You don’t want me here? That’s fine, tell me, you don’t need to let me stay when you clearly don’t want me here!” You’re chest heaved and he could tell you’re just starting “you wanna know why I want to know the truth from you? Cause I care for you more then what a friend, a sibling should do. I hate seeing you with Kim Kochan or Lee Robin those two flirt with you on a basis, you know that right? they cling and keep you all for themselves and I hate it! I hate how fast my heart beats when you smile or when you buy me snacks cause they’re my-”
He cuts you off with a swift kiss to your lips. How could he not, you just confessed you liked him albeit angrily, you still confessed. His lips moved slowly against yours and you froze, your mind on hyperdrive, ‘till he pulled away “I like you too but you’re really loud when you’re upset, we shou-”
You rolled your eyes and pulled his collar, making him crash into you, kissing him again, this time you slowly moved your lips against his, his hands snaking around your waist, to pull you closer, your arms wrapping around his neck
He licks your bottom lip, you groaned softly and he happily sticks his tongue in, gently brushing over your tongue, making you slightly whine and he grins, keeping hold of your as you both play tongue-sies
He pulls away, a string of saliva being the only thing connecting you both before he groans softly at the sight “I love you” he breathes before leaning to trail kisses down your jaw and neck making you tilt your head upward giving him more room. He smiles at the shudder before gripping your waist and pulling on it to make you go up and straddle him “Taeil” you gasped at how bold he was being and he chuckles 
“Say it” he whispers against your ear licking a stripe on it while a hand travels under your shirt making you gasp at the coldness of his hand and the heat of your body, and he smiles “Please? Need to hear you say it”
“Really at a situation like this?” You huff and he only grins at you making you whine “I’ll tell you later, ok?” You tugged on his shirt, in a silent way to command him to do something, and only met with a shake of his head “Taeil” You whined again “fine, I love you too you big dork”
He smiles and happily kissed you again, holding you close before taking your shirt off and giving you everything you asked, encouraging him with every tug of his hair, a gasp and a moan of his name. He was addicted, he never wanted to stop to make you so whiny and needy and putty in his arms
He was happy that night, well dawn, finally having you in his arms, your neck covered in nothing but his marks, and he can see from his position your bruised waist. Oh and his hair, it was in pain, from the way you would pull and tug on it but he loved it, only reminding him that it was all real, his arms and shoulders were bruised but he just smiles at the slight sting before tightening his hold on your waist and kissing the shell of your ear
“No more” you whined and pouted “Please? I am so tired” you begged cupping his cheeks and he couldn’t help it he kissed your palms 
“Stop” he bit his lip and looked at you all wide eyed, seeing your expression, your marks and looking absolutely fucked that he swung his legs over and kissed your nose “Just, just one more, ok? one more round”
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“Dad!” Taeil grumbled “Are you serious right now?”
His dad nods “Yes” He points a finger at his chest “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if you are sleeping around, as long as you don’t get STD’s or have a failing grade” He reminds “But any other than that, you’re free to do anything you want. You’re mother and I back in college, we had out share of fun”
Taeil covers his ears “no! no no, I don’t need to know, I don’t need to know my birth story, I don't need to know how sexy mom was, I am seriously going to run away screaming”
“Stop being a baby” His dad says and hits him upside the head, “I’m just saying, when you would sleep with someone, you stay over their place not the other way around, so I was wondering who is that? My son’s special someone? and also, I heard everything lastnight so I’m pretty sure it is a special person, and I wanted to ask if they’ll stay the morning cause, It’s my turn to make breakfast and I wanna know if I should add one more serving”
All of a sudden an excited squeal leaves his mother’s lips as she excitedly ran down the stairs and tackled Taeil “I am so proud of you” She praises and kisses him on the forehead “So so Proud”
“What happened?” His dad asks and She spins to look at her husband 
“It’s Y/n”
He blinks and looks at his son then his wife, around the same time the mom clinged once again to Taeil, “I have been shipping you both since you two were in the womb, I waited twenty one years for the two of you to get together” she squeals and hugs him “Even better you both slept with each other, Honey, cook an extra serving for Y/n. And Taeil good job, satisfying your partners needs in bed is much more important, I approve”
“Mom!” Taeil groans 
“Do you think Their parent’s know? we should invite them , lets go invite them!”
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Part 2
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yuu-says · 3 years
Text
Best Friend Bennett!
Some more bff hcs ft. my best boi!! Boken da boken! Also please send me prompts for benny boi umu I planned to focus on him for feb because of his birthday but alas,,,, head empty, xiao only fbdhsfdsf
Other bff hcs : Kaeya, Childe
                                          »»————- ⚔ ————-««
* do you know first aid? You don’t? well now you do oops-
* you’re gonna have to ALWAYS be carrying some type of first aid thingie- a bandaid here, a gauze there, a disinfectant in your pocket; you’re basically his personal nurse now lmao
* dw he pays you with like meals and cuddles and shit uwu uwu you just gotta negotiate uwu
* the two of you met when imitation icarus here accidentally shot himself off a cliff and crash landed in front of you fdshfdsf (the panic you felt that day?? unmATCH E D)
* gives you flowers/a meal from good hunter once he’s recovered as compensation for making you almost lose your mind lmAO
* He’s always seeking you out when he’s not adventuring so he can shower you with gifts and trinkets he got from his travels!! also tells you a bunch of stories whenever the two of you meet its cUTE DAMN
* also very attentive bestie! uwu he’ll pick up on your habits and likes pretty quickly and is always listening to you rant! No matter how late!
* if  you get frustrated from dealing with certain people or just had a very bad day in general, he offers to take you somewhere to where you can clear your head!
* His favourite spot to bring you is the little cliff behind springvale or falcon coast! He especially likes bringing you out around evening~nighttime because the sky is always pretty then!
* yall have sleepovers sometimes because why not!! at your place ofc uwu
* also very touch-starved like he does not care that the two of you are just friends- benny boi will get EVERY chance he gets to have some kind of contact with you !
* its cute how innocent he is ffs
* cheek kisses, hug tackles, hand holding- you name it, he’s probably done it at least once >:3c benny’s a sweet boi tho!! he’ll refrain from it if you express your discomfort uwu
* speaking of being sweet- kid literally just follows all your whims sometimes gfbhdjsfsdf
* you could ask him to wear cat ears and he’d just owo? okay?; concerns himself more with the practicality tho!! if you ask him to wear it when he’s about to go on an adventure, he’s gonna be worried that he’ll burn it by accident oof-
* also loves matching with you?? you guys have one (1) matching shirt and a pairing bracelet so he can remember you if he travels out too long uwu
* ben really treasures the things that matches with you?? or anything that you give him basically!!
* you gave him a lucky charm once and his return was delayed by a week because he lost it while fighting and didn’t want to go home without it aW
* benny just loves his friends okay uwu uwu
* instead of benny being protective of you (he knows you can take care of yourself! He’s seen the way you bonk ruin guards when you go out with him lmao!), its you who’s protective over him fbdsh
* has, on occasions, been forced to hold you back because you wanted to murder people who were talking badly about him (even when he tells you its fine, that it doesn’t faze him, you’re still gonna stand up for him like thaTS M Y BESTIE DAMNIT-)
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blorbosexterminator · 3 years
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AND I am back. Once again on this lovely day to give my review for the EPISODE 24 so, here we go :
Agustin is squinting his eyes at him, as Sergio keeps muttering that Agustin has in fact done what he just mentioned he did and which both of them have known for years. 
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Federico is 99% dead?! Damn, what is Sergio's gonna do?! Make it 100% ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
(I got a feeling that Federico is the kidnapper or atleast a very important lead to them)
Btw, WHO IS FEDERICO?! Tatiana's alive husband?!
(Look at me, hoping like a moron she aint dead
My dog : Yep, total moron 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me :
Me : NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR BITCH-ASS OPINION, YOU DUMB-FUCK DONKEY!!!! 😡😡😡)
Martin, my darling, my sweetheart, my poor angel. Nada, some help? Atleast gimme some tips, bruh, come on, you cant desert me like that. Not when I need to help someone 🙁🙁🙁
since, drunk, the last idea he got was that Laura turned out to be completely insane and kidnapped Andrés to marry him
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Martin, honey, stop drinking. This getting out of hand 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. But then again, Andres is so hot poor thing keeps on doubting.
As Roci said in one of the tags, his wives deserve the highest civilian award for putting up with him.
(Although, I just had a frisky thought. What if Sergio wanted Andres away from Martin, not because he cared bout his hermano but......😳😳😳😳😳 *whispers loudly* he wanted Andres all for himself? In *frantically looks around* INCEST WAY?!)
(Calm down, my deranged mind, you went too far 🤣🤣🤣)
Who knows, it could be the professor he punched in the middle of an exam once. Martín doesn’t think he has forgiven him.
Mood, bruh, such a mood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 NO, OMG 😆😆😆 I didnt do it, but I do kinda have a beef with my Organic prof. I'll go off tangent again, so tell me if you wanna know the story.
He sent Silene in disguise to collect the cctv from the nearby shops and streets. His own cctv has been disabled since the IT bitch ruined it, Martín will kill him when he gets them back.
I think if and only IF Silene finds something good, her % of redemption will increase.
(Raquel s2e7 deja vu, I see what you did there 😏)
And Martin about to go John Wick on anyone & everyone. I tell ya Keanu Reeves will be crying when he sees Martin go nuts. I am willing to bet he'll pull a gun on the poor milkman, who just wanna do his job 😆😆😆
So he calls Bogota, with a little (not that little) handwritten list in his hand with the names of people he thinks he might have ruined their life in the past. 
Martin : Okay, I'll just take out the list and
*the paper rolls out the door, travels around the world for 5 times and comes back while going over top of Everest and bottom of Marina Trench*
No, it’s because when he hated Martín, he had always hated him openly. If he wanted to hurt him, then he’d just try to stab him in the middle of the living room.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Bogota, did Tatiana have any family?”
“No, who of us did, Martín?”
“You literally have 7 children and 7 ex-wives.”
COMEDY GOLD, NADA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Those kids are ungrateful bastards, if I fall dead tomorrow they would just run to see what they’ve inherited.”
Aka THE PLOT of 70% Indian Telenovas 🤣🤣🤣. Also this line alone has so much soap opera vibes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He has no choice but to go to fucking Sergio Marquina. And if it’s his wife, then even better. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. 
For fuck sake, Martín, Ive been telling you from last 2 ep
Stop. Blaming. Raquel.
Also, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 damn, these 2 assholes cant keep away from each other. Nada, are we sure these 2 married the right people? As much I am a Berlermo ship stan, this here is just smth else 😆😆😆
Uh-oh 🙁 this asshole son of a bitch just poked the mama bear. And if ANDRES of all people narrows his eyes at you, You are, quoting Martin from last ep, truly, utterly, entirely, thoroughly and wholly fucked.
“Do you know him?”
“Oh yes, a childhood friend, I stole his pencil once and he never forgave me. Have you heard this Paula? Don’t steal your friends’ pencils, they will never get over the betrayal. You could steal the teacher’s ones though.”
“Why did you steal his pencil?” Paula asked seriously, with a delirious tone, and too tired to even move her head upwards. Raquel is gonna kill every single person involved for doing this to her daughter.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sassy Andres = Best Andres. Words that should be written with GOLD. Wisdom passed onto generations
Poor Paula 🤣🤣🤣 I just imagine this in some other situation :
Andres : *saying smth smth*
Paula : *taking notes & asking questions*
Raquel after seeing her daughter :
Look what you made me do
🎶But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!
Ooh, look what you made me do
Look what you just made me do🎶
(Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift)
I am telling you Nada, by the time Raquel will be done with everyone, Uma Thurman will cry buckets because no one, okay?, no one can compete with A MAMA BEAR RAQUEL MURILLO.
“Poison is a woman’s choice of weapon, Anibal. Don’t be disrespectful.”
Again, words of wisdom. Only time hes not being a misogynist.
Also, Andres, my dear, are you speaking this from experience?
(Why do I think that Martin got Tatiana killed cause she poisoned him and Martin had to watch Andres fight for his life in hospital?)
“He won’t say anything, Mama. He’s the one who kidnapped grandma with Silene!”
Is anyone gonna listen to her? Or do I need to bonk Raquel myself? 🤦‍♀️
“Silence!” she screams. “I need to know everything that happened, if we’re getting out of here alive.” 
FINALLY!!!! SOME COMMON SENSE!!!! WE THANK THE LORD FOR MERCY!!!
And as for me, its time for me to say goodbye and goodnight (Cause its quarter to 12 rn in my watch)
AND ILL SEE YALL TOMORROW 🤗 BYE!!! 🙋‍♀️
I'm back as well! And we've finally caught up with each other.
Valid reaction. Sergio is also slowly going insane. Love that for him.
He's hoping he could. We all know this family has beef with that last one percentage.
(we'll see👀👀👀)
Hope is all we got at this point afabgs.
Now, now, don't speak to him like that. He has valid criticism.
I'd help him if I could, but alas (lmfao no, I do love them suffering)
Same recommendation. But he just, poor boy, could nothing to think of. So might as well be Laura. (also fair, who knows, maybe Andrés gets constantly kidnapped and forced into marriage)
Definitely, she's 100%. I really don't know how they do it.
Avsnsjsvjshsjs all theories are valid. Maybe Sergio does want Martín or Andrés, who knows what goes in the head of that fucker.
Seems like an interesting story! I never got along with my chemistry teachers. (Got one once to tell me that he's still not kicking me out of class only because he feels bad for my parents that they have to deal with me and they'll be the ones who will have to deal with the mess lmfao.)
Yes, have some faith in her!
100% accurate. Martín is this close from just shooting random people in the supermarket because they also could be the ones who kidnapped Andrés.
HAHAHA YES. This is exactly how the scene went.
We stan honesty in this house.
So happy you found it funny!!
I can confirm! Like 70% of all Egyptian drama as well.
I don't think he's hearing you well. But afnajscsgsh SAME. Okay look, now I really understand show runners with super homoerotic ships that they refuse to make canon. You try and make two male characters hate each other so much for plot then it slips and gets homoerotic.
Totally agree. This guy isn't making enemies with the right people (they are all dumb, but also none of them have anything that even resembles a moral compass)
Totally agree. This guy is honestly super amusing to watch and it's mainly because he's incapable of taking any situation in life seriously.
This family is really iconic. (love the song agsnsg) but also like Raquel would basically tell her after writing done his notes just put the title on top: things to never, ever, do.
I believe you! They really fucked with the wrong dumb family.
I mean, he's still a misogynist. Maybe some of us really like dagger, has he considered that?
That's as valid theory as any right there.
Hopefully Raquel will finally start listening to the child!
Raquel is the only one with a semblance of common sense.
Hope you had a good sleep! I'll see you tomorrow!
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im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!
there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes
okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)
1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.
2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.
3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).
4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.
5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.
6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.
7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.
8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.
9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts
10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are
11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)
12. beastsreflection of society as a whole
then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long
treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”
sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.
the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).
anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.
so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.
sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.
so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.
a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.
there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.
sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.
anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!
sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10
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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years
Text
Quick Thoughts on The Royal Heir, Book 1 Chapter 1
• We're back! Hopefully with a better series this time, but I'm not going to keep my hopes too high.
• If my QTs are clogging up your dash, I recommend you block these particular tags: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, and optionally #long post.
• Much like my Book 3 QTs, I will be exploring as many playthroughs as I possibly can to see how each LI's route is being written. Last book, this experiment definitely helped me figure out that they were putting more effort into some characters and less into others, and I'd still like to keep an eye out for these things as much as possible.
• I feel this QT might be shorter than my usual (edit: joke's on me - it's not!! 🙈), mostly because the opening chapter itself is...pretty light, and is mostly meant for us to spend time and have fun with our chosen LI. Plus a tiny smidgen of buildup to the premise, which is having a child in Cordonia. But I do have a theory about the overall theme that I'm going to be expanding on towards the end of the chapter.
• Okay that's it for preliminary explanations, it's time for me to start with the chapter! XD
• Ooh. Oooooooh. This loading page now has tidbits about Cordonian society!! Interesting.
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• Title: Happily Ever Afterwards
Alternative Title: Be Grateful We're Letting You Have This Much Sex For Free This Week, Because That's The Last Time It's Happening.
• I'm extremely offended they're making me wear that Pepto Bismol outfit again.
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...thanks so much for reminding me you still don't care about Hana, PB! 🙄 Everyone else remains to be some version of "loyal", but Hana is still considered more for her skills than for her own steadfastness, even though she was the most hardcore-loyal of the four (SHE LEFT HER FREAKING HOME. HER FREAKING FAMILY. FOR YOU. While the other three were certainly loyal and honorable to the MC, they definitely didn't have to completely cut ties with their families to do right by the MC).
• The "fairytale" aesthetics of the frame story were what drew people into TRR in the first place, so it's not too surprising that the LIs and MC give a nod to the flagship series with a "once upon a time". If you're with Liam, it goes straight from "falling in love with the Prince" to what his relationship with her taught him, before the happily ever after. If you're with one of the other three LIs, it specifies that she came there for Liam but fell for someone else. Sounds a lot like Maxwell's book 😄 In Maxwell's playthrough, in fact, there is a reference to it when the MC calls him a "famous author".
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(Screenshots organized as follows: 1 - Liam, 2 - Drake, 3 - Maxwell, 4 - Hana. Liam's and Hana's are my own. Drake's from @thefirstcourtesan, and Maxwell's from Kaitlyn Walker's YouTube channel).
The other interesting thing to note is that in Liam's playthrough, he leads the narration. While in everyone else's the MC is the one who steers it. One reason I can think of is that the narrative still treats this story as Liam's story as much as it is the MC's (if I'm right about the theme) - which...has honestly always been a sore point with the fanbase in TRR. That would depend on how us and our baby are now further involved with Cordonia in the story. Another factor for why she leads the narration...could be that essentially, the MC took initiative in the other three relationships, while in Liam's case it was he who took a more active role by proposing to her.
• The little story ends with this question from the MC:
Question: But what happens after Happily Ever After?
Answer: Mess. In Cordonia it's always mess.
• Cordonians (specifically the upper classes, since I don't know enough about the common populace to tell, since they're, yknow, practically invisible) are addicted to tea, apples and fucking shit up where they don't even need to.
• ANYWAY. What (literally) happens after 'happily ever after' is a tropical honeymoon on Liam's private island. In the case of the other three, he allows them access to the place and gives the staff instructions on making the stay comfortable for them.
• Now, since Liam owns the island and has probably visited it a could times, he shows more familiarity with it. He tells his wife that on previous trips the island had more rustic accommodations, but the villa they're now staying in was prepared recently. Additionally, the butler welcomes Hana, Maxwell and Drake as newcomers to the island, considering it's their first time. With Liam, there is an air of familiarity - he calls the butler by his name (Javier) and enquires about him and his wife (Mariana) - to show us perhaps how familiar he is with this holiday spot.
• Why the hell does everyone call Liam "Your Highness"? It's been two whole books since he became King, and the proper title for a monarch is "Your Majesty". How is it that Constantine gets to rake the MC over the coals for calling him Your Highness, yet Liam has to hear this from practically everyone. From Javier to freakin' Protocol-Monitor-Madeleine! The disrespect, I tell you!
• Okay so we're having a candlelit dinner by the ocean, and we get our first OOTD. Cute beach dress, has bright flowers and some crochet work on the bodice. I bought it because I couldn't bear to have Esther stay another minute in that Pepto Bismol of a dress.
• LOL @ all the LI responses to "this spot is right where the sharks are!"
• Tuna sashimi and pineapple aioli, huh? I have never had either so idek what that's supposed to taste like (someone on this writing team likes pineapples). I remember having to cut down on tuna during pregnancy, which meant no more Subway sandwiches since the tuna sub was the only one I liked at the time. IIRC most of my family were also cautioning me against pineapples and papaya during my first trimester!
• My gosh this butler doesn't waste much time jumping into assumptions huh?
• Also Javier, why is Cordonia's future so dependent on the well-being of my foetus even if I'm not ruling the country?
• Does Cordonia have sex ed? My money is on no. (esp in the Hana route).
• So there are two parts to the way the premise of wanting to have kids is built up in this sequence. In the first part, the LI impresses upon the MC the need to have children soon after the wedding. The second part addresses the urgency - the "why right now?" factor, and explores the LI's personal emotions towards having children. This bit also feels a bit like a follow-up to the Valtoria balcony scene in Chapter 15.
• The first part is pretty similar for Drake, Hana and Maxwell - all three of whom are now married to a Duchess and are aware that securing the duchy is important. They word it in their own distinctive styles, but the gist is pretty much the same. In Liam's case, since he is the king of the country, he speaks more about Cordonia and its tensions with neighbouring countries.
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Take note of this because I'll be returning to this point later. (also who are the writers trying to convince about Cordonia's size. "Small kingdom" my ass).
• I'll be going by the LIs' personal reasons to have a baby now, one by one, along with a summary of their views on children in the Valtoria balcony scene last book (since this scene clearly references that diamond scene if you've bought it last book).
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(Screenshots: Liam's and Hana's screenshots are mine, Drake's is from @thefirstcourtesan and Maxwell's is from Kaitlyn Walker's YouTube channel)
- Liam: Liam's love for family and need for children is well-known throughout the series. In Book 1, he's dropped hints about wanting to have a different kind of family dynamic from the one he'd experienced as a child, and in Book 2 there were multiple references to wanting to not be Constantine - both as a King and as a father. In the balcony scene in Book 3, Chapter 15, Liam tells us a number of things - about the value of having more heirs for succession, of him always dreaming of having at least 3 children, about Kenna, Cordonia's most legendary warrior queen which leads to an interesting factoid about how the rules of successions for both the throne and duchies are not gender-specific (he also cites Olivia and Penelope as being in line to inherit their duchies). In this sequence Liam undoubtedly has more to say about the political aspect of having an heir than the personal, but his statement about "someone missing" in their lives is of no surprise when he's been enthusiastic about kids for three books straight.
- Drake: Drake perhaps gets the lengthiest 'personal' bit of all, revolving around his eagerness to be a father and his own family history. This scene has Drake speaking of wanting a child with "your eyes and my hair", but most of all of Savannah and her little family, and wanting the happiness his sister is experiencing now. The writing often manages to tie Drake's thoughts about his future family with his past: in the Valtoria balcony scene, his memories of his father and his desire to bring up his own kids the way Jackson did are dominant in the conversation on children. He speaks at length about the absence of a proper 'home' so far in his life (stating that his room at the palace always felt like "a room in someone else's house") and how high on his priority list the prospect of having children is. The Valtoria scene shows him eager to have kids asap, and this scene builds up the same urgency. You're left in no doubt that he wants those kids now.
• Maxwell: Maxwell's route of this scene soundly pretty sudden, tbh. In his Valtoria scene, Maxwell expressed doubt and nervousness when it came to children, citing the example of Bartie ("I love palling around with little Bartie and everything, but if he bonks his head or something, I can just hand him back to Savannah. When it's your kid, you're the one people hand him to."). While this is referenced in TRH's dialogue when Maxwell jokes about forgetting diapers and baby socks - it's a pretty big jump from the man who didn't exactly feel ready to have children yet, and not enough work was done to justify that shift. This could be somewhat excused in the beginning of Book 3, when the narrative had just begun to treat him like an LI, but they've had an entire damn book and several months after to reflect on how to write him properly. That is...if they actually gave a damn.
- Hana: They don't even have the excuse of "relatively new LI" in Hana's case. Because she is the lone female LI married to a female MC, her scene should have been a lot more extensive and explored her urgency to have children so soon after their wedding, a whole lot more. There are tiny changes, like the one where she hints at the "logistical concerns" that come with two women considering a family, and where she speaks of giving her child the childhood she never had (which, frankly, is an extremely vague statement and could be applicable to more than one character in Cordonia). But there is urgency that, again, isn't properly explained in the scene. Even Hana's Valtoria scene doesn't have much that would explain why she would want a child barely weeks after her wedding. The Valtoria scene does have her outlining her dreams for the duchy (along with a joke about her enacting "Beauty and the Beast") and her happiness at the thought of being a mother (she maintains that out of the things expected of her, motherhood is the one she looked forward to). They could have spent some time thinking up a reason for why Hana would rush this, even before anything has happened, or outlined something personal and not ultra-generic. Both Maxwell and Hana deserved a lot better than this.
• Maxwell speaks about possibly forgetting diapers (PLS NO MAXWELL NO) and baby socks (um okay not as bad but depends on the climate), and one of the MC's dialogue options is to say..."diapers and socks are overrated". Guys your kid won't care how much fun you are when they have a bum rash.
• A-ha! Diamond scene. First-chapter diamond love scenes always come cheap in these series' (12 diamonds) and are usually quite a steal.
• ESTHER HAS NEW LINGERIE OMG I'M SO HAPPY I'D BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SO LOOOOONG 😭😭😭😭
• ...and it is also matches Liam's underwear. Maxwell's too 😅
• The scene is nice, there are variations between the ways the LIs work up their appetite before they finally roll in the...well, sand 😅 Maxwell has what they call an "ocean duel", Hana's fulfills her lifelong dream of carrying and spinning around her wife on a secluded beach, Drake chases the MC through the water...and Liam just enjoys being a huuuge tease, okay? 😂
• Oh God, why are they still using the old LoveHacks sexytimes music. That "DHUM-boom-ta-doom-DHUM" beat drives me nuts, and not in a good way. You have better music now, PB! Like the sexytimes tunes from RCD and PM. Use those!
• My gosh this entire group is quite horny for dominant duchesses, aren't they. Every last one of them. Each playthrough has these four gazing at the MC in wonder and telling her some variation of "I think you ordering me around is hot". Olivia could trample over them all with spiked heels and they would thank her!
• As always, when something suspicious happens, my dumbass MC goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and never thinks about it again until shit actually goes down. This woman will never learn, will she.
• Anyway! We now move on to the rest of the honeymoon, summed up in three-four varying scenes per LI:
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(Screenshots: Liam's and Hana's screenshots are mine, Drakes is HIMEME's YouTube channel, and Maxwell's is from Kaitlyn Walker's YouTube channel).
- Liam: Focused and dedicated. And insatiable as hell. Sex on a bed (SHOCKING!), sex after his wife points out what could be an apple constellation during stargazing (the MC effectively killed Liam's boner for Cordonia, I see), sex after having chocolate strawberries at a sunlit pond, sex again on a bed (Why is he getting four? 🤔). While the staff is still around somewhere on the island. This is a man with a mission.
- Maxwell: Fun and playful - kind of a "let's live wild and do daredevilry while we can!" vibe. In one Maxwell and the MC cliff dive into the ocean, debating over the wisdom of such risky adventuring when they may possibly be having a baby. In another, the MC watches, concerned, as Maxwell eats a raw squid appetizer. There is a nice callback to Maxwell's House sigil - the kraken - when he tells her that a squid would never hurt a fellow squid. The third shows them playing Strip Monopoly in the comfort of their bedroom.
- Hana: Adorable, caring and looking through every detail. Hana's three scenes involve her showing the MC the sights around the sunlit pond (which Hana and the MC lovingly call the "Hana Lee Honeymoon Itinerary"), watching the sunset under blankets, and this little scene of them choosing sperm donors for their baby:
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It's a nice addition, but it still doesn't explain why they couldn't have waited a few more months. Nothing has happened yet in the timeline of the story, the women are (they believe) finally safe and happy, and while Javier seems to believe that babies born to a couple that consists of two women pop out of nowhere, I'm hoping the denizens of their duchy will have at least a little more common sense (this is Cordonia, so "hope" is the operative word).
- Drake: Langorous, relaxed and contented. Stargazing on the beach (I wonder whether this was a nod to the meteor shower scene in Book 1), whiskey on a patio/balcony/whatever in the afternoon, and eating roasted pork by the fire. Plenty of sex but also lots of outdoors, which means lots of the stuff Drake enjoys doing.
• Aaaaaand it's time for sexy scene 2! The couple are now relaxing in bed on the last day of their honeymoon, and the LI proposes a momento in the form of a sensual photoshoot (which comes with artwork of the LI in their underwear, posing for the MC) The male LIs pose with their hands at the back of their heads, smirking at the camera, while Hana strikes a coy pose, leaning against her hand. It's a quick, fun scene that's supposed to squeeze as much alone-time out of the couple as possible, because from here on the focus may shift to other things. Basically this chapter is meant to be one giant (but largely safe for readers) smutfest. I like the artwork - it's different and I guess meant to be a little more realistic than the usual full-page art in the books (like the engagement and wedding photos with your LIs last book), which is why I think it takes a little getting used to. I know it took me some time!
• Maxwell got an underwear upgrade too!
• We've now come to the end of our honeymoon, our bags packed and ready for our return to Cordonia. The chapter ends with us seeing a "familiar face", who could either be Liam (if you married someone else, and he doesn't show any expression) or an unspecified person (if you married Liam, and he looks ultra happy). Now that could either be related to some paparazzi-related stuff, if the flash of light was paparazzi-related, or it could be a fake-out and he's actually brought along the rest of the gang to surprise you. Idk and I don't want to speculate too much on this, mostly because something more interesting caught my eye.
• So that's it for my thoughts on the scenes themselves! On to the "general thoughts" section.
• General Thoughts and Potential Theories:
- As a first chapter for a new series that is still tied to an older one, it worked. It mirrors the light feel and sensibility of TRR's very first chapter, in that both chapters build an illusion of a fairytale-like place, with hints of the darkness within emerging the next chapter onwards (in this series though - since we're already familiar with Cordonia - the darkness is lightly hinted at this chapter itself). In a lot of ways I think we're going to see a lot of parallels between TRR and this new series.
- Unfortunately, one of those similarities also includes the imbalance in the writing for the LIs. Specifically with Maxwell and Hana. It's the most glaring in the dinner scene, which builds for us the premise on which this entire book stands (the topic of pregnancy). There are ways you could have them make the jump from nervous about having kids to excited, if you tried - there are elements in their storyline that could have helped us understand their urgency.
- I played Liam's route first, and was happy overall with it but I still have my misgivings. The good in terms of Liam's story is that he gets importance because the story is also about him and his country, where we are staying. He gives us some very important details in his route, and personally I like that his role as Guide To The Intricacies And Nuances of Cordonian Society still exists...but you can't deny that there were things in his storyline which should have been addressed and never were. I hope those are addressed this book. If they do the same this time around, it will only be to their detriment.
- Also, I find it highly ironic that Drake is the one to mention Savannah and Bartie when it was MAXWELL who was more involved in helping her with the child. Sure, he was - as he confessed in that Valtoria scene - more the "fun uncle" type, but he was still pretty heavily involved. Still keeping track of what Savannah needed and what Bartie would want. In his own final Book 3 scene, Maxwell is shown having an amazing rapport with little Bartie, playing peekaboo with his nose. I can barely count scenes involving Drake and Bartie with the fingers of one hand. Why couldn't Maxwell reference that last moment in Book 3, drawing up some inspirational moment from it? Like spending more and more time with Bartie changed the way he felt about kids? Or maybe that Savannah or Bertrand said something regarding the joy children bring to him. Anything that gives us some idea of when this shift happened.
Maxwell may have been new last book. It may have been a struggle to know what to do with him last book. But that isn't the case right now. By now they should have settled in their writing of him and figured out ways to make his story make sense? To give him more depth rather than simply reducing the man to the court jester? Maxwell's story was supposed to be about him growing, the scene in Valtoria was supposed to be about wanting to be a good father for his future children but fearing he might fail...yet the writers have the same man say the exact opposite. Maxwell's family history was thrown away for no good reason last book, and was replaced by Savannah drama. There was more space given to Savannah's love story with Bertrand (which didn't NEED the entire book to gain fruition) and Drake (optionally) enjoying humiliating Bertrand. That time, energy and effort could have gone in building up Maxwell, getting an insight into what happened to the Beaumonts that they became so poor...but no. The only Beaumont that mattered seems to be Savannah (and we know exactly why). And going by the fact that they're going to force an entire wedding storyline involving Bertrand and Savannah down our throats, that still seems to be the case.
- Hana's is even more worrying considering that it was poles apart from the rest of the playthroughs and therefore SHOULD have had more thought. Yes Hana loves the idea of being a mother. Yes Hana loves children and has a nurturing nature. But the urgency is still the same as the others' in her playthrough, and it made absolutely no sense. There was a clear dissonance between their current situation and the rush these two were in.
Hana's deserved at least some more time in her dinner scene. Maybe one where she could speak about growing up an only child, with no companions and not even toys. She could explain the loneliness involved in having a small family with parents who gave her more duties than affection, and then speak about giving her kid a better childhood. There isn't even any discussion about which of them should be the person carrying (we know it will be the MC, but why it has to be her in their case is anyone's guess).
What the team have done here is give Hana the bare minimum, after an entire two books of giving her even less than that. I know I'll probably be judged for thinking negatively rather than being cautiously optimistic, but the fact is that the moment this team feels they can get away with tossing scraps or less than that, they can and will do it. It's not stopped them before: not from botching up Hana's storyline, not from giving Hana fans a reception full of goof-ups and shoddy writing, not from pairing her with her bully. Perhaps last year I would have been happy and grateful to see Hana and the MC calling each other "my wife". This time...I refuse to settle for just mere scraps. If you can give thought and care to Liam and Drake's storylines, you'd better be able to do the same for Hana and Maxwell, otherwise what's the point of reviving this book? What's the point of using Hana specifically in two of your ads as bait for your lesbian/bi/wlw fans?? Might as well let the entire series rot in the trash where it belongs in that case.
- I've heard theories about our child becoming heir to the throne, thanks to a possible future arc that may make Liam unable to have children. I personally hate this possible plot line for two reasons:
1. As it is the MC gets more importance than she deserves, whether or not she actually puts in the work. She becomes a front-runner during the social season even if she fails. She becomes a Duchess even if she lacks even the most basic skills, while Hana who has done way more than she ever had for the country gets nothing, not even a needle-point's worth of land. She becomes Champion of the Realm even if she is literal garbage throughout that book, when that title could have easily gone to Olivia or Hana instead if she didn't earn enough to get it. And now to have her kid be made an heir to the throne? For no good reason? Get outta here.
2. Forcing Liam into yet another storyline that is tragic and painful (and I'm pretty sure the writers will find yet another excuse to write a thesis on Drake Walker in the time they could be using to let Liam actually break down, or vent. If they couldn't be bothered to explore the man's feelings when his own father died, do you really think they will bother with him in this??) on top of whatever else he's had to experience so far? At this point I can do with less of that. I'm honestly sick of storylines that put Liam in very uncomfortable, painful situations with very little space for him to air out his grief. Give the man a fucking break. Let him have some breathing space to rule his goddamned kingdom, get him a fantastic therapist and get him better friends while he's at it. Pushing him into yet another messed-up situation when you've barely even scratched the surface with what his experiences have done to him, is really just drama for the sake of drama, nothing else.
- Nonetheless, since this is about a pregnancy and a future heir, I believe there will be plenty talk about succession, and about the importance given to fertility and children in Cordonian society. But as with the social season in Book 1, the engagement tour in Book 2, and the wedding + Unity Tour in Book 3, I believe the pregnancy itself is a frame story. The kind of story that justifies the glitz, the glitter, and the glamorous events...that can serve as a temporary gloss to cover the conflicts within. All while the inner stories reveals those conflicts, layer by layer (again, if it's done right. Book 3 is a good example of a great premise ruined by bad writing. I sincerely hope this book does not go in that direction).
- Remember those screenshots I put up in that dinner scene from Liam's route? About Cordonia's tensions with its neighbouring countries, and how the country may be viewed as vulnerable? I think that's where the actual theme of the story lies.
Books 1 and 2 mostly revolved around the illusion of Cordonia - the fairytale kingdom - before the MC herself is confronted with the tensions brewing within. Book 3 was about strengthening Cordonia through resolution of internal conflict. It was about learning about the intricacies of the country, its most powerful duchies, their histories and identities, Cordonia's messy, complicated history - to tackle the problems that lay within.
I feel like Book 4 would be taking a natural progression from resolving internal conflict to finally standing united as a nation against outside forces. Constantine - in his conversation with the MC in Shanghai - hints not only at groups within Cordonia that wanted to destroy the monarchy, but also foreign powers ("suffice to say there are those who envy Cordonia's prosperity...". Not the royal family's - but "Cordonia's").
Keeping a united front and showcasing strength through pride in the country - ergo 'patriotism', or perhaps 'national integration' since Cordonia is home to many different cultures and geographical locations (I originally wrote 'nationalism here, but now realize there may be negative connotations attached to that word in today's times: thanks @musicallisto!) is often viewed as an asset against alien forces. The MC is now a part of the monarchy/nobility, and will be irrevocably tied to the country's future - so it makes sense that she will now dig into the deepest and most intimate parts of Cordonia's history, and go several steps further in helping to unite the nation.
- Why do I theorize 'patriotism' or 'national integration' as being a theme? There are several reasons for this:
The Unresolved Storylines: We still have a ways to go in understanding Cordonian history. We don't know which other forces were involved in previous assassinations, and we don't have a clue what happened to Liam's mother. All we do know is that other people and groups that we have probably not even seen yet, may have been involved. Francesco (who also knew Liam's mother) and Xinghai, the only foreign delegates/visitors that we got to network with in Book 2, have minimal roles so far but SEEM to have had some influence when they were introduced earlier. Francesco particularly could have some sort of role to play, given what we were told about him in Book 2. Now would be a good time to explore why he needed contacts with these people (other than the fact that Xinghai is Hana's dad). It's possible that nothing will happen and we may not even see these two, or exchange any important information, but I'd still hope that there is some importance to their appearances in Book 2.
The Connections We Made In The Engagement Tour: Meeting Francesco in Capri was related to getting access to EU markets for Cordonian products. The engagement tour itself revolved around grabbing international attention towards Cordonian problems - one of which was the tsunami that hit Portavira, which we learn more about in Book 3. There is a possibility that these threads may be picked up in the future.
Both the above points hint at possible threats, or allies. At this point we can't exactly determine who is friend and who is foe, but it is clear that neighbouring countries - and indeed countries we have associated with in the past - will play a pretty big role in the way we view Cordonia, and in the way we direct the narrative of this country.
The Artwork: I love this part of my theory because it is the most based on actual evidence rather than guesswork. The idea of a nation depends as much on items of familiarity and symbols, as it does on history. It's why countries have national animals, anthems, fruits. Why art depicting national and local legends can often be considered almost sacred. The book has barely even begun yet, and already it is FILLED with all kinds of things symbolic to Cordonia.
Let's first take a peek at the cover art:
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Now let's ignore Liam's and Drake's (busted) faces in this cover and focus on what the three are holding.
The MC holds a rattle in her hand, and the jewel within the rattle looks similar to a ruby, which has been associated more than once with apples in the story (Cordonia's most valued variety of apple is the Cordonian Ruby, Liam's wedding gift to the MC is a ruby in the shape of an apple. The same rattle shows up in the second cover [on the left] as well. It's a stretch, I know, but I've got better evidence. Stick with me).
Liam holds a onesie with a crown design on the front - and we know that "for crown and country" is a popular phrase, especially for toasts, in Cordonia. Drake holds out a toy lion: the lion is the national animal, and holds a place of pride in the national Coat-of-Arms. The throne on which the MC herself sits, is blue and gold - both considered national colours. That's at least 4 symbols related to Cordonia vying for our attention on the same cover!
I mean, even Book 3 had just two major symbols - the apple (related to Cordonia) and the phoenix gown (related to Valtoria) - featuring on its cover.
The biggest proof to me, however, is not the cover, but the loading page. To be more precise - what is written above that loading page. A number of Choices books (BB, for instance) write little factoids about the world they are building above the loading bar, which players can read while they're waiting for the chapter to load. This wasn't a common practice with TRR, but they've definitely started it now! Some of the commentary is usual stuff - about gaining advantages through outfits, welcoming you back to Cordonia, etc...but THIS TIME there are tidbits of information given to us as well. And 80% of those involve apples!
Here are a few I managed to catch. One fact on the importance of apples in Cordonian culture, two specifically on the Cordonian Ruby itself including a rare recipe, and two old proverbs (this isn't the only time we've heard apple-related proverbs in the books - in Book 3 for instance, Bertrand refers to their trip to Fydelia as 'slicing two apples with one knife'). Proverbs in general often give us an idea of what people within a region hold up as important, as so connected to their life experiences that they can use those familiar objects as motifs for things that they see in daily life (eg. proverbs in my home state, Kerala, often refer to things/animals we find locally: jasmines, coconuts, jackfruit, dogs, elephants).
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The fact that the apple features so often and with such emphasis in the loading page itself - and we have already seen what this simple fruit means to Cordonia - indicates to me that this national symbol - and the idea of the nation itself - will be of great importance. Not only will we be exploring foreign relations, IMO, but we'll also be learning how to build a national narrative that will benefit and strengthen Cordonia.
What's also interesting is that the apple symbolizes fertility to the Cordonian people as well - the apple cutting ceremony during a wedding (as explained by Regina to Leo's fiancée in RoE) is "a symbol of the fruit the tree will bear - you being the tree, of course", and there are chances that the fruit may feature often within the context of pregnancy/having children as well.
• That's all for now, guys. I hope to write more and theorize more as the chapters progress! Until then, I hope you enjoy this one, and I'd love to hear what you have to say.
• I did the Hana screenshots for this chapter, since the first chapter allows me to play repeatedly within losing keys, but I won't be able to do so from Chapter 2 onwards. If there are any Hana fans out there who keep screenshots of scenes in their route and are interested in sharing, I'd love to hear from you and will definitely credit you for the screenshots I put up!
• If you'd like to be tagged in future QTs, please let me know! Tagging @nikkisha16 for now since she asked xD
• Until Saturday, folks!
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totesmccoats · 7 years
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Batman #33
To close out the last arc, last issue, Catwoman accepted Batman’s engagement proposal. In this arc, she has to meet the last supervillainess that Batman proposed to.
Honestly, seems like a weird hazing ritual for Batman to force on Catwoman. “Thanks, for marrying me – but first, we gotta go to the desert, break a whole bunch of laws, and upset multiple Justice Leagues so you can meet – and possibly be murdered by – my ex.” Unless this was Catwoman’s idea? Sounds like it could’ve been her idea.
Back at the Manor, Alfred breaks the happy news to the Robins (and Duke), who don’t exactly take it well. Especially Damian, who blames himself, and is also the only Robin to realize that this involves his mother.
And, as weird as the premise is, King has not let Batman down yet, and this issue promises another instant-classic arc. He opens the issue with a scene right out of a western: Batman on a horse, handing a shotgun to Catwoman, who uses it to put a second horse out of its desert misery before continuing on their trek across the desert. Then, immediately cuts to Jason Todd wrestling with Ace for his jacket back in Wayne Manor. The Manor scenes really highlight how much the Robins have been missing from King’s run on Batman by demonstrating how well King writes each of them in dialogue with each-other, from Dick telling Duke about the cow in the basement, Duke criticising Jason for telling him to lighten up Batman, and Damian – the youngest one there – dismissing all of them as children until cracking under the news.
Joelle Jones is killing it on art, with a thick inky style that puts everything in high-contrast and gives Batman and Catwoman’s desert adventure a two-fisted pulpy feel. It admittedly doesn’t translate too well in the Manor, where the extreme shadows can’t be explained by a desert sun beating down on everything. Bellaire perfectly matches Jones’ lines with flat – almost cell shaded – saturated colors that also convey the extremes of the desert.
My biggest issue with the book, and it’s not this book alone, is that Damian is still drawn as just a white kid. Like, they show Talia – his mother – as a brown woman, and yet Damian doesn’t look like he has a hint of middle-eastern/south-asian in him. I know that in real life not all children of multiracial heritage look like a half-and-half combo of their parents, and some traits are more dominant than others; but in a medium where diversity is an issue, I don’t see why DC doesn’t take advantage of having one of their more prominent characters having a mixed race heritage to actually depict a person with that background in their art.
  Superman #33
Superman has just gotten comfortable with Luthor flying around and Metropolis’ other hero, when Lex is forcibly summoned to Apokolips to reclaim his throne as God of the planet (See: Darkseid War). Lex tries to contact Superman, asking for assistance, but Supes ignores the messages, believing them to be frivolous invitations to listen to Lex brag; that is until Lex forcibly brings Superman, and by accident Lois, and Jon, to Apokolips.
I am really not used to Superman and Lex Luthor being friendly with each-other, as they are in the opening to this issue. It’s honestly kind of disturbing. Just feels wrong. But the following scene, where Lex inner monologues to himself about becoming the people’s newest and native-born hero, and their increasing dependence on him; that’s peak Luthor. That’s the Luthor that makes sense to me.
This isn’t the best opener to an arc, mainly because the back half is Superman refusing the call to action twice, essentially just stalling the story and filling up pages so that we can end on the cliffhanger of family being split up on Apokolips.
Still, we haven’t gotten a good Superman on Apokolips story in a grip, so maybe this’ll be it. Sucks that it’s probably definitely going to compare badly to the other current Apokolips story going on in Mister Miracle tho.
  Green Arrow #33
Having crippled the Ninth Circle by taking out their satellite, Oliver returns to Seattle – now Star City – to find it almost completely remade in the vision of its new corporate overlords. Historic and cultural areas have been razed and replaced with luxury high-rises that have pushed out the middle and lower classes. And Green Arrow returns only to find himself defending one of those overlord-developers from an activist threatening to literally crush him under one of Seattle’s oldest trees that the developer wants to cut down anyway. Things have changed.
Meanwhile, Oliver is still under trial for the murder of a woman who – twist! – is still alive; and despite what Star City has become, the Ninth Circle is still disappointed by Moira Queen and Broderick’s progress, giving them a vote of no confidence; and Dante is also back, and hiring Shado for one last job on behalf of the Circle.
Percy continues his amazing run on the series, effortlessly setting up multiple story threads for this new arc, while developing the political backdrop of the new uber-capitalist Star City that Green Arrow will confront philosophically and physically through the story. Green Arrow’s been one of the more fun, solid, and smarter books since rebirth, and Percy seems poised to continue that trend.
The standout of the issue is artist Jamal Campbell, who previously worked on the fantastic Green Arrow #27, and who I hope stays on this book for a long time. His work is comparable to Francis Manapul’s, but a touch less stylized, preferring to use less dramatic curves compared to straight lines and angles; and a more toned down palette that does reflect the sort of lighting you would see in a cloudy north-western city. This is not to say that Campbell doesn’t have a sense of the dramatic. His designs for the various masks for the Ninth Circle are all fantastic, like some sort of dark zodiac, each of them brimming with style and personality. And he dips into the style of a steamy romance novel for his title page, where a shirtless Oliver lifts Dinah, who wraps her legs around his waist, over a bannister to give her a kiss. And then there’s the scene where Shado fights off a squad of ninjas, where every kill-shot has it’s own stark white-on-red panel. If DC’s smart, they’re gonna want to give Campbell whatever books he wants.
  Wonder Woman/Conan #2
As he slumbers, Conan dreams of the day he had spent with Yanna as a child, climbing mountains with the dark-haired daughter of a tribe of exclusively women. In the waking world, he is chained to another dark-haired woman who calls herself Wonder Woman. He tried to rescue her from a life as a gladiator servant only to get captured himself, and now the two will be forced to fight to the death. But it seems that another power has other plans for the Barbarian and the Amazon. And they have other plans themselves, with Conan winning the fight but refusing to kill Wonder Woman; which gets them both thrown on a pirate ship as forced labor.
Thankfully, Diana does have more to do this issue, even if it takes her a majority of it to remember her name. Simone actually writes a neat joke involving her name; Conan saying something with the words “Die Yanna” next to each-other gives Wonder Woman pause. But even if she has more to do, and takes the lead by the end of the issue, this version of Wonder Woman still feels underdeveloped, perhaps owing to her existence still being a bit of a mystery box. Considering how much time this issue devotes to the young-Conan and Yanna flashbacks, it’s gonna be weird if Diana isn’t somehow related to her. It also doesn’t help that she spends a good chunk of the issue not talking.
There are fun moments in this book, like a crow-lady biting a man’s fingers off for soliciting her, Conan waking up to discover he held Wonder Woman’s hand all night, or Wonder Woman bonking a man in the face with his own lute; but overall characterization is so thin – and mostly delivered by 3rd person narration – that it’s hard to really care about the protagonists. It’s a weird issue for Simone to have as a writer, who usually doesn’t presume empathy in her stories. Maybe it’s because this is a limited series crossover?
Another niggling thing – Wonder Woman’s breasts are distractingly large in this book. They’re bigger than her head and like, perfect spheres. This is bad, like, even for comics – even for Conan comics.
  The Wild Storm #8
Marlowe gives Angela the sparknotes version of what he and HALO are doing on Earth, which conveniently leaves out anything she might find threatening about why they came here, and gives her full access to his resources in exchange for her data. Meanwhile, King’s team at IO have made a breakthrough by uncovering Cole Cash’s identity, and are planning their next – possibly treaty-busting – moves of their own.
And in Amsterdam, we’re introduced to two more characters resembling but not identical to those from the previous Wild Storm. The first is Shen Li-Min; the latest incarnation of The Doctor (not that one), who uses her powers to psychedelically heal people by taking them on vision quests. The second is one of Shen’s patients, who her session doesn’t quite work on because she’s not exactly human. She’s a techne named Jenny Sparks.
Despite another issue full of exposition, including the introduction of two new characters, it’s Davis-Hunt and Buccellato who really get to flex their muscles with sequences involving interstellar travel, two psychedelic trips into character’s minds, and one visit to an extra-dimensional hospital. I’m mostly familiar with Davis-Hunt’s horror work, and am glad to see that he can do bright and colorful and trippy just as effectively, even if there remains a twinge of the uncanny even among his bubblegum pink skies. And you *know* that more than one person is going to get a tattoo of Spark’s heart – because that is one badass visual.
  Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #5
At the top of the issue, Vulture kidnaps Mason and blows up his lab while Spider-Man and Mason’s assistant, Uatu, are still inside. And Teresa only manages to escape by grabbing a prototype web launcher and hitching a ride with Vulture. And while she rescues Mason, Spider-Man has to confront his most dangerous nemesis: heavy rubble.
That’s right, it’s a recreation of everyone’s favorite, Spider-Man #33. But, Peter’s better at this now, so it’s not that big a deal. What is a big deal is that now Peter’s got two people he has to hide, Teresa and Mason; and because of that photograph, the authorities will be looking for him, too. Luckily, he may be getting some help from an unexpected source, J. Jonah Jameson.
This isn’t Zdarsky’s strongest issue, probably because of the sense of urgency in this part of the story, which doesn’t leave room for the types of asides and extended character beats that often give his work their pop.
Kubert, however, must have found something inspiring in the script, as he does some of his more interesting work in this series so far this issue. I particularly like his use of framing things in the reflections of Vulture or Spidey’s mask; and Kubert also illustrates some really good of Spider-Man emoting through his mask, really showing him struggle while lifting heavy rubble, for instance.
  Kill or Be Killed #13
And we’re at the issue that closes the circle, bringing us to the cold open all the way back in #1, with Dylan going through the mob base, shotgunning everyone in his way. But before that, a revelation. Just before the shootout, Dylan had been obsessed with the demon, and decides to look through his dad’s stuff to see if there’s any more information about it. But he discovers something else entirely: a half-brother from his father’s first marriage whose suicide lines up perfectly with when his father started drawing the demon. A demon born out of one suicide by a man who committed suicide, and revived by his other son’s failed suicide attempt. Dylan isn’t one to miss a pattern.
But what I find more interesting than this new discovery is, again, how radically Dylan has transformed as a character. His obsession with the demon begins when he thinks to himself how proud the demon would be by his murdering two people in three weeks. And upon learning about his brother, and reminiscing on his father’s isolated and disappointing life, he is overcome by anger rather than sadness or empathy. Dylan’s obsession with the demon feels more introspective than otherwise, him unconsciously looking into how he so easily became a murderer.
Phillips illustrates this transformation subtly, by putting Dylan’s face in shadows more often than not, and especially when there are other people in the panel whose faces remain unobscured. Besides quite literally illustrating Dylan dwelling in darkness, it also creates a visible distance between him and other people. And the transition in style, from the series’ main style to the more photorealistic illustrations done in-universe by Dylan’s father is impressive as it always is; though it’s weird to be leafing through a comic on the subway only to suddenly be looking at a sci-fi pin-up.
  Bitch Planet: Triple Feature #5
The final collection of Bitch Planet shorts done by guest creative teams, who get to paint their own corners of Kelly Sue and De Landro’s dystopia, and one of the strongest.
The first story, by Matt Fraction, Elsa Charretier, and Nick Filardi is a brilliant twist on the “grandma/pa during holiday dinner” story. Kimmy brings her boyfriend, David Zeiss, home for his first Christmas, but warns him about her Grandma, who says some crazy things. But, instead of being anti-semitic, Nanna instead interrupts with stories of lesbian experimentation in college, and how women used to have their own jobs and weren’t just pleasure machines for men. It’s delightful! And, I honestly flipped back to the cover to see if the art was done by Bruce Timm, who’s style I want to say definitely inspired Charretier’s own; though she thankfully doesn’t give every man and women the exact same proportions.
The second, by Jon Tsuei and Saskia Gutekunst, follows two friends, one white, one asian, as they audition for the same role in a movie. If you even barely follow any actual Hollywood news, you can probably already sense where this is going. Gutekunst’s art in this isn’t really my taste; she uses a kind of manga-light style with soft colors and gradients. It fits the narrative because of the whitewashing story-line, but it’s just looks like a half-step in one direction, and another half-step in another.
The last story, by Nyambi, Bassey, and Eyang Nyambi, and Chris Visions is a doozy that creates a link between appropriation of black culture and beauty with the police violence against black bodies. When a white girl goes full blackface to join her friends at a danceclub, she gets pulled over by cops and can no longer rely on her whiteness to get out of a ticket – or much much worse. It’s the most Twilight Zone story in this anthology series so far, and one of the best encapsulations of the idea that America loves black culture and hates black people.
Comic Reviews for 10/18/17 Batman #33 To close out the last arc, last issue, Catwoman accepted Batman’s engagement proposal. In this arc, she has to meet the last supervillainess that Batman proposed to.
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