It would have been so easy, to end the story with Elena betraying Herbert. But it's so much more interesting telling the version of the story where she stuck to her guns, denounced the bourgeoise, and it didn't matter because the capitalist pigs will destroy everything she loves if she doesn't bend the knee anyway.

Kate Winslet and Matthias Schoenaerts on the set of 'The Regime' photographed by cinematographer Alwin Küchler

Keep thinking of Rosie allowing everyone else to experience the trauma of war around him in any way they need to. Whether it be after listening to his crew member choke through the Munster story, reaching a hand out to comfort him, making sure the replacements are all settled and feel comfortable with him - establishing that he's someone who can be trusted with any issues - and listening to Crosby tell him he's scared he's becoming a monster and reassuring him, and yet refuses to give himself the same grace.

Thinking about how he doesn't tell Crosby about what he saw after he was shot down, what he witnessed in that camp. He's never really the one telling any stories in the series. He listens and watches, lets others say whatever they need to, all the while keeping his cards close to his chest.

Thinking about Rosie smiling while watching his crew and the other airmen enjoying themselves at the flak house, and yet not allowing himself the same enjoyment. Thinking about how the doctor at the flak house got Rosie to look after himself only when he framed it that looking after himself is looking after his crew.

Thinking about Rosie re-upping, choking slightly on his words as he explains he can't bare the thought of sending some rookie in his place to only get himself and his crew killed.

He won't give himself the grace or patience he deserves, but by god he'll take care of everyone around him.

i've been ruminating a lot on it because i think i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words but i need y'all to understand that while there are absolutely a lot of Not Good Things about the finals being held in saudi arabia for three years...the way people seem to treat is as morally black and white is shortsighted and unhelpful.

realistically the players traveling there will be protected. it may be uncomfortable, it's certainly not ideal, but they will travel there for a few weeks, play their tennis, then leave. there are a lot of women, a lot of queer people who actually live in saudi arabia who cannot just leave, who are actually subjected to laws and social climates...and to me it just seems very disrespectful to that actual lived experience, for everybody to sort of turn their noses up and get on their high horses. of course, if the players wish to opt out, that is their choice, but that is their choice to make. that's their judgement. not ours.

and then, what about a tournament like miami? florida is literally experiencing one of the worst active regressions that i've seen in the us (granted i'm young). things like critical race theory and lgbtq+ ed are being removed from curriculums, rights for trans youth, trans healthcare, etc. are going backwards. abortion rights? gun violence? and yes i know that the laws and climate in saudi arabia are different gravy, i understand that, but my point is, no one would ever DREAM of arguing against hosting a tournament in miami despite all of these issues. and we can extend this to a lot of other tournaments! i mean, all the outrage about fifa hosting a world cup in qatar, but we don't have any of these sentiments about doha? i've seen other people bring up that the finals were hosted in singapore when gay marriage was still illegal there. we've already talked about italy's fascist prime minister. and i could go on and on and on about the war crimes of countries like the us or the uk - is the us not participating actively in genocide right now? where is the standard? if you argue against hosting the finals in saudi arabia for the reason of human rights, to me it seems you have to uphold that standard for the location you do land on. and i can guarantee, you will not find a single country in the world with clean hands.

i want to be clear i am not arguing that hosting the finals in saudi arabia is a good thing, especially for three years, especially because it's definitely going there because of money, and not for any of the "good" reasons i think some people want us to believe about "improving the region" (which is very weirdly white savior-esque anyway). i don't really have an official "conclusion" to this discussion.

what i am arguing is that i think a lot of the protests against saudi arabiahosting the finals are more an example of implicit anti-arab bias and islamophobia, rather than genuine discussion. key word implicit: i don't think most people are purposefully trying to be anti-arab/islamophobic. or at least, i'd like to believe nobody is. but i also think, particularly in the west, there is already so much of this xenophobic sentiment ingrained. and this is why i think it's really really REALLY important to check ourselves when we talk about it instead of just jumping straight to the human rights conversation without a second thought.

i'll say it plainly: i don't think the finals should be held in saudi arabia. but for me, it has more to do with sportswashing, with the dangers of the way money is thrown around in sports, and because i think it's more evidence that the wta doesn't care about player welfare but rather about making a profit (what else is new). human rights are absolutely a concern of mine, but how is it fair to hold saudi arabia to a standard that we don't seem to care about for literally anybody else?

literally look at the us's ugly ugly history, past and present, and tell me why we deserve to host a tennis tournament.

I do think the 1 thing I noticed is that post covid vaccine my vitamin B levels were low but not deficient and going on B supplements fixed much of my neuropathy, and now sometimes if I stop with B supplements while I am flaring up neuropathy does come back even if my blood tests show normal B levels (not even in low end) so I do think supplementing B helps my neuropathic pain.

the squad and the interrogation room

March–April 2024. A very strange, frequently tasteless, mostly inexplicable black comedy political satire from the creator of SUCCESSION — though more strongly reminiscent, presumably on purpose, of the 2017 THE DEATH OF STALIN — THE REGIME is a six-part miniseries starring a self-consciously frumpy-looking, outrageously hammy Kate Winslet as Elena Vernham, the egomaniacal authoritarian chancellor of an unnamed Ruritanian state somewhere in Central Europe.

As her hapless husband (Guillaume Gallienne) and self-dealing underlings tiptoe around her growing list of neuroses and increasingly erratic mood swings, a soldier named Herbert Zubak (Matthias Schoenaerts), notorious for his role in a brutal massacre of striking mine workers, is recruited to play a hard-to-define, ever-shifting supporting role in Elena's ongoing psychological breakdown and various political confrontations.

Winslet seems to have been having fun, although she overacts shamelessly, and what accent she thinks she's doing seems to vary from moment to moment; the median could best be described as "Margaret Thatcher, very tipsy, trying to pretend she's not sucking on an Everlasting Gobstopper." Schoenaerts, for reasons that are never clear, plays Zubak like a punch-drunk boxer trying to walk off a life-threatening concussion, leaving his character a perplexing cipher throughout.

Like THE DEATH OF STALIN (which I thought wildly overrated), THE REGIME is more often crass and uncomfortable than actually funny, and its smug misogyny would be offensive if taken seriously (which is admittedly very difficult). Also, given the current state of the UK, watching the largely British cast mock the political instability of a fictitious "Middle European" autocracy causes some seasickness. (Whistling past the graveyard, perhaps, but still.) CONTAINS LESBIANS? No! VERDICT: Much more "funny strange" than "funny ha-ha," and because it's basically a one-note joke, it becomes like one of those terrible SNL skits that just won't end.

yes kate i am

more and more often, I find myself falling in love with media for the potential it has to be good, not for what it actually is. That desire for something to be better leads me to create new details, new concepts and imagery to tie everything together into an actual theme, a real story.

I think that is ultimately the premise of fandom, taking something that is OK or even great and modifying it so its almost perfect. Rarely do you see media that is almost perfect develop a huge fandom, because there is so little to improve.

I love creating, I love seeing what others create, but also, there is something to say about watching a film or a TV series or reading a book that is so close to perfection that makes you want to sit in silence and reflect for a while. Something about experiencing a story that moves you in a way that makes words meaningless. Something that is beyond description, something that needs to be experienced to be understood.

I wish there was more of this. More stories that were created for the sake of telling a story and moving the audience, instead of created for the sake of making a profit. I wish we could fall in love with more stories for what they are, instead of what they could be.

“How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause?"

Sophia Magdalena Scholl was a German student and anti-Nazi political activist

Born: 9 May 1921, Forchtenberg, Germany

Died: 22 February 1943, JVA Stadelheim München, Munich, Germany

"The Regime"

A hell of a ride. Sad to see it end.

dearly beloved we are gathered here in the sight of god to anoint charles our parasite in chief with his most idiot hat.

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.

Cr. 

personal

this month marks one year since my bipolar diagnosis (the FINAL diagnosis) and my rejoining of the fandom. these things overlapped and i remember questioning if my obsessiveness about shameless was due to my mania. my manic episode started creeping up right while i was rewatching the show until i started going s9 fiona with my substance use and s8 ian talking to god

my psychologist told me to “take a break from that show.” i said never and started writing fic when i was really deep in my depression and off work and reading the bible in between writing, my attempt to ward off demons (crying/laughing emoji). (also it didn't work, but the meds did 😇​)

it’s been a journey. and part of that journey has been connecting with this wonderful community and exploring a lot of myself through fic writing.

i didn’t join this fandom expecting anything, i certainly didn’t expect a community and friends and fic writing or reading so much amazing fic! i didn’t know the impact this community would have on my life and i’m really grateful for the last year here and all of you ❤️ i feel so supported and am constantly learning from the people in this fandom! love you all!

had the most unexpectedly wholesome moment while being obliterated in iron banner? we were just a couple points away from losing and so i thought fuck it, my ass is gonna relax by the fire. someone threw a stasis grenade and ran towards me and there was this insanely charged moment where we both looked at each other, not knowing if i was going to be spared or not. would they graciously accept my surrender, or gun me down and teabag my corpse? and then instead of killing me they joined in my revelry :)