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smalltownfae · 2 years

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The Reading Taste Tag

The tag creator apparently removed the video, but I found this tag in this video and I wanted to do it :D

1. What is your favorite genre?

In a broad sense, fantasy. That is because fantasy includes so many subgenres and I like a little magic in my stories. However, I don’t like all subgenres of fantasy and I am very picky with series. I prefer stand-alones. Right now, I think my preference is historical fantasy and magical realism. Even my two favourite series, Realm of the Elderlings and First Law, have a historical fantasy feel to them. I am not very much into modern settings.

Due to that, I think I should try more historical fiction and classics. I also really like dystopias but they feel repetitive after a while when it comes to themes so I can’t read many of those in the same year. When it comes to stories set in the future, dystopias and post-apocalyptic settings are definitively my preference. Probably because I like bleak emotional stories.

2. What is the most difficult genre for you to read?

Contemporary romance. It’s just not for me. I am picky with contemporary and romance separately so if you put both of those together it becomes a match made in hell for me. I wouldn’t say it’s difficult to read though. I just took the question to mean a genre I dislike. There is no genre that I find hard to read. In the same vein as contemporary romance, I am also not a fan of erotica because, from my experience, it’s too much sex scenes with little or no existing plot or character development. That does nothing for me so it feels like a waste of my time reading it. I also don’t really like fantasy with hard magic systems. I just don’t care about the author’s made up rules for what should be left mysterious and wild.

3. What is your preferred age range?

Adult. Because I am an adult and stories about younger characters often don’t make me ponder about anything and their struggles aren’t relatable any more. I am not at that stage in my life. However, I love stories told by a character in their old age telling about the past. That kind of coming of age story I really like. I even like it if the character starts really young but at the end of the book or series they are an adult. Middle grade literature with older characters also might work for me, like Howl’s Moving Castle. I really like middle grade that works so much for kids as it does for adults. That balance is really hard to pull off and I admire authors that do it. YA, from my experience, doesn’t work as well for an adult that is past their 30s at least. Of course there are books put in YA that to me look like middle grade, but that’s another discussion.

4. Are you a character driven or plot driven reader?

Character driven. I am even more of a theme driven reader than a plot focused one. If the character are complex and interesting enough I will be engaged even if the plot sucks. If the themes are provocative and well explored I will still be engaged. However, a theme driven book shouldn’t be too long if it doesn’t have the complex characters to back it up.

5. Do you have a preferred perspective?

Yes, I do. First person. I love it a lot. It makes it easier for me to connect with the narrator and gets me immediately engaged more often than not. A lot of my favourite books have first person narrators and when it’s not that it’s usually very close third person. I just love to follow one specific character and see how their brain works and how they judge the other characters and the world around them. So far, this perspective has only failed me twice and that was because the main characters were pricks and nothing in the narrative showed me that the author believed they were pricks. I like unlikeable characters but I need the story to subtly show me that they are meant to be disliked.

6. Do you have a preferred tense?

Past. As someone that loves the plot device of a character in the future talking about their past or of an unknown narrator telling a tale, of course that is my preference. However, I do think that present tense works really well for fast paced plot driven books. YA uses it a lot, as it should.

7. Do you like series or stand-alone books best?

Stand-alones! One of my hesitations in saying that I am a fantasy fan is exactly because people assume fantasy is all about the huge epic series. That is not usually the kind of fantasy books I am into. I prefer short stand-alone books most of the time. However, if your book is going to have more than 650 pages you might as well make it a series at that point.

8. Which would you rather read, long or short books?

I already got ahead of myself and answered that. Short books. Stand-alones that are between 120-500 pages hit my sweet spot. Once in a while I find a series so well written and with such well crafted characters that I want to read more than one book about it no matter how long it is. But that is quite a rarity and I have a lot more short books in my favourites than long ones. Those are quicker to reread too.

9. Which format do you like best?

Floppy Paperbacks. They fit nicely in my hands and the font is usually a good size. They look good on shelves too. The Portuguese editions have sturdier covers and pages than UK paperbacks, but they usually have awful cover designs. So, I still prefer UK paperbacks, I guess. However, my hardback edition of Piranesi is gorgeous and much better than the paperback. If the book is short I don’t mind it being an hardback. My struggle is when the books are really long and heavy so I can’t carry them on my bag.

10. What are you currently reading?

Paperback: The Familiars by Stacey Halls

Audiobook: Before They Are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie (reread)

Ebook: The Lottery and Other Stories by Shirley Jackson and I just started and read one great chapter so far of The Road by Cormac McCarthy

#the reading taste tag #book tags #booklr

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thealexchen · 3 years

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Do you have any more personal headcanons on how Alex and Steph's dynamic as a couple would be like? Things like playful but gentle nudges or shoves to reaffirm that they're there for each other; who would feel more inclined for cuddle sessions? Who would be more likely to flirt with the other? I would love to hear your ideas if you wouldn't mind sharing. :D

Oh, I'm so glad you asked :)

So far, LiS couples usually have one partner who's far flirtier than the other (Chloe and Max, Finn and Sean, etc), but come on-- Alex would know how to flirt. I think what would make it even more fun is that even though Alex is younger and has a sweeter nature, she would be smooth as hell. But most of all, I think Chenrich would have a ton of playful teasing and banter. Alex just gives a good-natured grin when Steph calls her “a freaky empath friend” and Alex jabs back at Steph “you have shit taste in good luck charms.” They find opportunities to poke fun at each other about everything, like Steph’s meticulous routine to “get into character” as a DM or Alex’s pickiness about how rice “should” taste (“What do you mean it doesn’t taste right?” “It’s like— like, not the right texture! Ugh, you wouldn’t get it!”). They’re both sharp and witty and probably tell each other to shut up a lot. And Steph gets a kick out of stealing Alex’s glasses every now and then :D

Alex and Steph always keep each other on their toes by how quickly they can change from teasing to sincerity. Remarks like “You have a shit taste in good luck charms” can just as quickly become “I’m either the stupidest or luckiest person alive for meeting someone as brilliant as you” or “Seriously, shut up. You’re so much better than you think you are.” If Ryan is the grounding, calming force that keeps Alex present, then Steph is the joyful, uplifting force that keeps Alex feeling like herself. For example, Steph gets Alex to loosen up and (drunk) karaoke becomes one of their favorite activities. Steph is her hype girl! She always makes sure Alex knows just how amazing she is, whether it’s suddenly exclaiming how perfect Alex’s guitar chords are or how beautiful her voice is (“That was PERFECT!” “R-really?”), which always leaves Alex amused, a little bewildered, but blushing. Like when Alex enters a room still in her pajamas with bedhead, Steph dramatically narrates, “And the goddess blesses us mere mortals with her presence…” until Alex mutters, "I am two seconds away from throwing something at you."

I think what really makes them shine is that their minds are just so in sync, whether for comedic effect or seriousness. Like when Ryan says something like "tell me why," Steph starts singing "ain't nothing but..." under her breath, and Alex overhears and starts laughing as she sings "but a heaaartbreak," and then both of them are laughing and Ryan rolls his eyes and mutters "You two are so weird.”

But while Alex knows when Steph is feeling down due to her power, Steph just has a knack for knowing what Alex needs, whether it's a cup of tea, a kind word, a shoulder to lean on, or just cuddles. I think Steph would also go out of her way to learn Chinese and Vietnamese recipes, because food is such a big part of showing love in Asian culture. When Alex realizes what Steph is making, she cries, but swears they’re happy tears.

Finally, Alex is a major cuddle bug. It’s not hard to imagine that she has a barely concealed soft side— she’s a former foster kid but also an empath, and once someone gains her trust, she’s SO willing to give and receive affection. Steph and Alex have tons of small, affectionate, playful touches— Steph grabs Alex’s hand, then swings her arm as they walk side by side. Alex gets Steph’s attention by tapping her shoulder, then kissing her cheek as she turns around to face her. When Steph bumps her shoulder or knee, Alex knows that’s it’s an “Are you okay?” gesture. She’s shorter than Steph and unashamedly loves being the little spoon and leaning up just a tiny bit to kiss her. Even months into their relationship, Alex sincerely believes that sitting in Steph’s bed, curled up into her side with her head on her shoulder, watching another old film on Steph’s laptop that Steph swears is an “underrated classic” but that Alex can barely follow, is one of the best feelings in the world.

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smilepal · 3 years

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About me meme

Thanks for tagging me, @gloryride! 💖💖 Nickname: Liv/Smilepal online, irl it's Liv or Olivia. Zodiac: Leo Height: 165cm/5'5 Last movie I saw: Watched Frozen 2 with some friends, who managed to make a drinking game out of it--I didn't partake but it was entertaining to watch all the same. Also got to hear each song turned into a drunken sing-along. You just get used to it after a while when your friends are all former theater nerds. Everything can be made into a song if you try hard enough. Last thing I googled: "Documentaries everyone should watch"--sick at home with a cold rn, and I've been looking for some to binge-watch. It's hard becuase I'm really picky about the narrators and if they sound vaguely irritating, I can't watch them 😂

Favorite musician: Just one? That's really hard to pick, and my music taste is definitely a little eclectic, so I'll go with composers instead--easier to narrow down. Alexandre Desplat and Abel Korzeniowski are two I really adore and Martin Phipps is another favorite. The latter did the soundtracks for the Crown, and they're lovely--I like them for studying when I need background noise. Song stuck in my head: I Don't Care, Fall Out Boy. I went to one of their concerts recently and it's been stuck in my head since (along with This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race). Other blogs: Don't have one, I've thought about it, but one is already hard to stay on top of and I have classes starting soon. So I definitely don't need any more distractions 😅 Blogs Following: 150-ish? I should probably go through those pretty soon and pare out some of the really inactive ones.

Amount of sleep: It depends on whether I'm in classes or on break, but generally speaking not enough. I was averaging 4-5 when I was working in a bakery/trying to juggle classes and now it's more like 6-7. Someday I'll maybe get 8-9 (I hope--I'm bad at sleep though, especially when I'd rather be gaming or talking to people on Discord). Lucky Number: 9 What I’m wearing: Red sleep shorts and a tank top that says "exercise your demons" with a little demon stretching on the front of it--it's a lazy sick day on the couch/working from home so not putting too much effort into it. Dream Job: Archivist or curator for a big museum or archive. I'd love something that allows me to work with art/history, and gives me the opportunity to travel--and maybe get some writing in there too. It's something I feel passionately about, and being able to make a living doing it would be even better~ Dream Trip: Oh man, there are so many places. Ireland/the UK is on my list--so many cool places to visit (castles please) and manuscripts to look at! And a lot of pretty nature too. Or places like Greece/Spain/France--so much cool history, and architecture (and the very good food is definitely a bonus). If we're talking inside the US, I'd love to explore the East Coast a bit more and visit some of the national parks--most of my visits there have been in the cities, and I'd like to do some more hiking. The west coast (Washington/British Columbia/Alaska) is also on my list for the same reason. Anywhere I can explore and take pretty pictures, really.

Languages: English and (terrible) Spanish. Probably going to be auditing classes for Latin/Ancient Greek in the future to help with my degree. Favorite Food: Mm it's hard to pick but I'm a sucker for anything sweet. I love a cup of coffee with biscotti or a shortbread cookie, or any sort of pastry with cream and fruit. On the more savory side, curries are one of my go-tos, especially Thai curry. Favorite Song: I definitely cannot pick just one, but my favorite genre lately has been Blues/Blues-Rock so Black Keys has been one I've been listening to a lot of. Barnes Courtney too. Random Fact: One of the first video games I've ever played was Bomberman Tournament, followed by Pokemon Silver. One of my older cousins had a gameboy he'd let me play, so that's definitely how it started. The soundtracks from those are still so nostalgic 💖 Also have good memories of watching family play the original version of OOT, or Super Mario World on the SNES (and giving me a controller so I'd feel included). The hobby definitely started young 😅 but it's definitely still one of my favorite things to do with friends. Describe yourself as an aesthetic thing: Hard to describe? Low-key goth/artsy probably, but still comfy. I love slouchy beanies and cozy scarves and oversized flannels, and long, drapy sweaters, or overshirts. Lots of black, reds and gray 💖 Leather jackets, and boots too 👌

Thanks for asking!! This was so fun 🥰🥰🥰

Tagging: @onlymeandlife @billlybutcher @faepunkprince @rindemption @saintsofvoid @katsigian @breezypunk @scarecrowshindig @heywoodvirgin @visixv @kerrybearodyne @darkendkurai @squintingneoneyes and @caffeinatedrogue/anyone else who sees it and wants to try 💖

#tag game #behind the blogger #liv speaks/rambles #most recent selfie I think? hiking and trying to pretend that it's not 90f and humid 🤢

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indiavolowetrust · 4 years

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Hello, how are you? I was just thinking on a short HC about summer in which MC went to the beach on a "weekend mini vacation" with Lucifer, Diavilo and Barbatos and their thoughts (individually) upon seeing her in a small and pretty bikini and later their reactions while she "oh so innocently" eats a devil crush super spicy mango popsicle looking at them with a sly smile 🏖🍦🤭 Thank youu 💕

Hi, love, thanks for sending in an ask! I mashed the thoughts of seeing her in a swimsuit and watching her eat a popsicle into one scene for ease of narration. These are divided into each perspective, with each one written in second person. I also took a bit of liberty with the writing.

I hope you like it!

LUCIFER

Humans are not ravishing creatures. Humans are neither entrancing nor enthralling. Humans are neither breathtaking nor -- nor stunning, for whatever damned reason there ever could be for one to appear as such. Humans do not have the ability to seduce a magnificent demon such as yourself in such a bewitching manner, to nearly bring you to your knees, or to bring all your thoughts to a screeching halt upon catching sight of her. Such a capability on her part should not be possible, much less thinkable, for humans are but simple, stupid beasts. For humans are nothing more but pawns between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm, and you are quite possibly the most magnificent demon that the Devildom has ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

Yet here she is, standing in direct contrast to those sentiments. Your eyes flicker to her once, and she smiles at you.

God, she is irritating.

The human begins to bound towards your place on the boardwalk, perhaps seeing your glance towards her as an invitation, and you do your best not to stare at the more indecent parts of her as she does so. Despite the frigid air of the Devildom, the human has decided upon wearing a rather miniscule bikini. It is yet another aspect of her that -- no, it does nothing but vex you. The human does nothing but try to incense you at every turn.

“Want one?” she offers, proffering what appears to be a popsicle in her hands. “The lady at the counter said she only had two more in stock, so I thought I’d grab one for you. If -- if you wanted it, that is.”

The popsicle in her hands begins to melt slightly. Your eyes most certainly do not trace the path the sticky juice makes against the curve of her breasts.

You shake your head. “No, but I appreciate the offer. I’m not one for sweets.”

She raises a brow. “Suit yourself then,” she says, regarding the two popsicles in her hands. A moment, and she pops one into her mouth. Her very soft, wonderful mouth. “I’ll see if Lord Diavolo wants it.”

The human turns on her heel, beginning to head back towards the small place you, Diavolo, and Barbatos have settled on the beach. You let out a small sigh of relief at that, despite your inability to ascertain exactly why. As strange as her human methods of communication are, you cannot help but find it --

Your body shifts before your eyes can even register the motion, and you twist yourself just so beneath her to prevent her from crashing into the boardwalk. A slight squeak of surprise, and you realize that she has dropped the two popsicles against her body. Another moment, and you realize the position that you two have placed yourselves in.

The sticky juice of the popsicle has stained her mouth just enough to give it the appearance of a flush there. Crushed parts of the treat trail down her barely clad form. Her hands are only slightly propped against you, giving you a rather inappropriate view. She smiles -- in a sly manner, perhaps -- and despite yourself, you find an uncharacteristic heat beginning to rise to your cheeks.

Irritating, you think to yourself. She is only irritating. Endearing shouldn’t be the word for this.

DIAVOLO

You peruse the options on the ice cream stand, humming slightly. While you know little of human confectionaries -- other than the wonderful treat that is a filled cigar cookie -- you are sure that the human would enjoy something more local. Something a bit more typical of the Devildom’s tastes. And so your eyes flicker to and fro on the menu before you, your decision stuck between a particularly spicy mango popsicle and a scoop of nightbloom ice cream.

“You don’t have to put that much thought into it,” says the human from beside you. “I’m not that picky. Either is fine.”

“Nonsense!” you respond. “Sharing culture through food is one of the best ways of doing it!”

You glance at her for a moment -- taking in the image of revealed skin, the bikini, the pursing of her mouth -- before looking away once more, attempting to preoccupy yourself with the decision. It is likely typical in human cultures to show so much skin, likely. A symptom of her culture. You have gathered at least that much from her lack of a reaction to her own image.

This choice of image, you decide, is not an attempt to seduce you. The future king of the Devildom, besides, should not be so weak as to such tactics to --

The human steps in front of you, leaning slightly over the counter. It is an excellent view. Enough to distract you from your very important cross-cultural mission of sharing tastes in confectionaries.

“Could we do the, um --” the human looks at the menu, double-checking the name, “-- the mango one? Two of those, please.”

The demoness shoots her a many-toothed smile. “Of course! Anything for my lord and his lady.”

You blink. “Oh, she isn’t --”

It’s a bit too late. The two popsicles that the demoness hands the human have been pierced with a small, heart-shaped toothpick -- a trend in the Devildom’s world of confectionaries, it seems -- and once again there is that knowing smile. You reflexively grin at her in turn, attempting to hide whatever embarrassment there may be in your demeanor. The brilliance of your expression, however, does nothing to dissuade her from teasing you further.

A dozen more needle-like teeth make themselves known. “Have fun on your date!”

You realize, minutes later, exactly why the demoness had chosen to stick the toothpick into the popsicle.

The human licks and sucks at the frozen treat, her tongue forced to wind its way around the obstruction in the popsicle. You cannot help but stare at her even as you begin to enjoy your own. It drips slightly down the curve of her lips as she does so, giving the skin there an especially glossy appearance. Accompanying the sound of her mouth with a salacious air. Forcing your thoughts to go somewhere else completely -- somewhere that is not decidedly anything to do with an innocent excursion on the beach. When she has just finished sucking away at the tip of the popsicle, her mouth now fully stained with the juice, she turns to you with a sly smile.

You realize that this human is attempting to seduce you.

Much to your embarrassment, it is very, very effective.

BARBATOS

It is certainly not the first time that you have seen such a display. A lifespan that spans nearly the length of two or three millennia has done well enough to dull your response. Outwardly, at least. You have seen an innumerable number of succubi and incubi alike, their writhing, naked bodies free of any imperfections. Demons and monsters of all sorts have approached both the old king and the prince of the Devildom many, many times, further lessening any reaction you might have. Plump demonesses who may have just as well have stepped out from a Renaissance painting, perfectly sculpted incubi who could stand as the perfect image of athleticism, elusive monsters with the ability to take on any and all appearances they might have thought attractive to the king -- you’ve seen it all.

Perhaps that is why something stirs in you now.

“Come on, you don’t have to be reserved all the time!” the human says, grinning. She partakes of a spicy mango popsicle, the remnants of which drip onto the bare skin of her sternum. Which is expected, given the rather immodest garment that she wears now. “I could’ve saved you one.”

“I am merely accompanying my lord. It would be inappropriate.”

She quirks her lips to one side. “I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t notice. And we aren’t even in the castle right now.”

“My professionalism extends to wherever my lord may be at the moment.”

The human frowns at that, clearly disappointed, but says nothing else on the matter. It is a welcome change from her incessant questioning and urging, one would think. A moment of peace and quiet. Yet you feel a pang of guilt for refusing her in such a manner.

As expected of a human, she is a rather messy eater. Her tongue draws itself slowly up and down the length of the popsicle, encouraging small portions of juice to flow down both her hand and the curve of a breast. It shines against the bare skin. Despite yourself, you cannot help but study her.

Her body is rife with imperfections. Stretchmarks line both her hips and thighs, with the most prominent ones positioned more outwards on her body. There is also the hint of cellulite flecked across her derriere. Fading scars from some childhood accident, you surmise, cross a shoulder, standing out from the otherwise unmarked skin around the area. Dimples make themselves known on her cheeks when she turns the popsicle this way and that, as she eats it with a rather strange method, and you can discern the slight unevenness on her features. Unlike the incubi and succubi that you have grown accustomed to over the centuries, this human bears none of that set perfection.

She smiles at you the moment she catches you staring, the barest hint of a more sly nature apparent in the expression. A painfully obvious attempt at seduction.

It is a completely unnecessary gesture. Her imperfection has long intoxicated you before she had ever thought of doing so.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me lucifer #obey me ask #ask #writing practice

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the-creeping-shadow · 5 years

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Not so complete Outlast fic list

@midnightmusings-isolde replied to your post:

As rare as it is, I believe one of my favourite...

Hmm never read any Outlast fics. Any recommendations?

I might not be the most reliable person to ask for a rec list since I’m quite the picky fanfic reader and usually have niche tastes, if I dare say so, but I can try :D I’m not sure what characters and genres you prefer, but here are a few, unsurprisingly focusing on Trager or otherwise featuring him in an important role. I suppose it’s also needless to say that a lot of Outlast fanfics feature gore and other “mature” stuff?

Mr. Trager by @one-sadistic-bitch

Relationships: OC/Trager Status: WIP Summary: “Most of the people in this world stick by a certain way of thinking. Nobody believes in the idea of redemption anymore. Once bad, always bad, right? I know better. You see, every now and again, something sick and twisted can become something strong and beautiful. Some of the greatest things can hide in the most unlikely places. I was simply lucky to have stumbled upon one.”

I’ll leave any commentary to the author ;3 I myself am curious which direction the plot will head. If you like Trager, angst, and romance, this story might be for you. The story is narrated from a first person perspective, through the OC’s eyes.

A Crash Course in Surgery 101 by whenrosesweredragons

Status: finished Summary: “Waylon said it himself: Gluskin’s an amateur surgeon, but he had help learning what he does know.”

This is one of the stories I had in mind when I typed that post. Dark humour with Eddie asking Trager for help in surgery. This underlying sense of Trager’s resentment towards Murkoff in the story is a small bonus in my book, too. X)

Outlast: Birth by Flame by Unquiet_Grave Relationships: OC/Trager (from what I’m seeing, it’s not the focus of the story) Status: finished Summary: “After a failed suicide attempt, Mel is thrown into a secret, experimental treatment program for women at Mount Massive. She hopes to find a cure for the bizarre condition that has stolen her life away. When chaos erupts at the asylum, she is forced to survive, fighting for her life and sanity. She wants nothing more than to escape, but the other personalities living inside of her have different ideas. Another patient, a strange, Bible-thumping woman with a dark secret, may hold the key to stopping Murkoff's hellish experiments. Mel must find her first, while fending off Variants, Father Martin's cultists, Murkoff soldiers, and, most terrifying of all, her own, bloodthirsty inner demons.”

This is a story I’m currently reading myself and haven’t finished yet. Quite creative and incorporates the Outlast canon for women at Mt. Massive well. OC-centric; follows the protag’s adventures through the asylum.

This Means War by Madame_Tentacle

Status: finished Summary: “The days at Mt. Massive pass by slowly when you're an overpaid executive, but Rick has a plan to keep things moving.”

Even Outlast knows light-hearted and humorous moments... in fanfiction at least. This is a nice, funny little fanfic featuring office pranks between Rick and Jeremy.

Going Down by ravenousgrue

Status: finished Summary: “This sort of thing isn't supposed to happen to guys like Rick.”

A fic focusing on how Trager got admitted to the asylum, based on the premise of a security breach (i.e not related to the comic). This guy also has his fair share of trauma...

things Trager is not allowed to do at Mount Massive Asylum by N/A (it says “orphan_account”)

Status: finished What it says on the tin. It’s really funny. ^^

Follow the Blood by ravenousgrue

Status: finished A collection of Outlast drabbles featuring pretty much every game character you can think of. There should be something for everyone therefore. It even includes a cat’s adventure through the asylum :3

Outlast Novelization by Aalt-Jackal

Status: finished Summary: “People were being hurt, and Murkoff was making money. Miles Upshur had plans to gather the evidence that would finally break those bastards, but what he finds waiting for him in Mount Massive is more than he bargained for. Armed with only a camera and his tenacity, would he be able to survive the nightmares fabricated by the minds of broken men?”

Truth to be told, I haven’t read this one yet myself, but I feel like the list wouldn’t be sufficient if it didn’t include a novelization of the game. From what I see on the first glance, it looks good and seems to be fairly popular, too. I believe it was also rec’d on TV tropes?

Purgatorium by TheCreepingShadow (me) Status: WIP (rest assured that you can ask me about it) Summary: “"He has been playing with fire for far too long, believing himself to be its master. And in the end, he got burned." Working at Murkoff Richard Trager got more than he bargained for. After an attempted manslaughter he comes to the realization that his rank had never meant anything to Murkoff. In the end, he was just another nuisance to be disposed of. Subjected to the Morphogenic Engine treatment, he struggles to maintain the last bits of his sanity as the line between dream and reality begins to blur.”

Will I be so conceited and put my own fanfic here? Yes. Yes, I will. Just this time. This is basically a result of my moaning about the lack of Trager fanfic. Supposed to be psychological horror primarily focusing on Trager’s downfall, how he copes as an asylum patient, and how the “doctor” personality emerges.

This list is obviously far from complete. I’m pretty sure there are more Outlast fics that are good. I just haven’t read or found them all :P Other fans are welcome to add to the list and/or make their own ^^

... Pfft, what makes you think I'm obsessed with Trager?

#Outlast #Outlast fanfiction #fanfiction list #I won't lie #I do mostly search for fics featuring my faves #which is why most of these are Trager centric #there are some I left out on purpose #but otherwise #I'm not sure whether I am recommending fics for others or whether I just made a list for myself?#there are some Russian ones that I liked too #I'm sorry #I can't help myself! :D #oops #reply #midnightmusings-isolde

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conoscenze · 6 years

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✎ ✪ ☁ for pheebs COUGHS asking for a friend ;^)))

descriptions — @soulcrux — accepting.

✎ - taste in music / literature

Phoebe’s tastes are contradictory, compared to her outer demeanor and personality. They also, sometimes, contrast her religious beliefs. In fact, she’s watched a good number of movies publicly deemed as politically incorrect and loathsome, like the infamous Cannibal Holocaust, along with other films that gained negative attention due to their controversial contents. Those are mostly part of underground culture, though. More famous directors she appreciates are Quentin Tarantino and Lars von Trier (especially his TV series The Kingdom).

Having mentioned that, the same preferences are obviously reflected in her book tastes, which vary from classic gothic horror (E. A. Poe being the perfect example) to medicine essays. She actually has specific preferences when it comes to the latter: they need to have pictures (illustrations are fine, but actual photographs are highly preferred) and they have to be very descriptive and meticulous. In terms of modern literature, she has always had a knack for storylines that rely, ironically, on unreliable narrators. But not every book she owns has that specific narrative mechanism. She’s very open-minded. If the writing style is direct and concise and treats crude topics with a down-to-earth tone, she will probably like it. Phoebe has a collection of various genres, even if she prefers majorly mystery and thrillers.

That said, she’s definitely more into visuals like movies and documentaries, rather than books. She prefers a moving picture compared to a still one.

Music is quite simple, on the other hand. Looking at her, most assume she’s into classical music, which isn’t wrong---that might be her favourite genre. But she often listens metal music. This is something only she knows about; it might also be because she’s discovered it rather recently. She was shocked herself to find out she actually enjoyed it, especially given the usually violent and “barbaric” lyrics (that are very often blasphemous and anti-religious). Since then, she’s became less rigorous in terms of faith. Also because she did her research on the bands she listens to, and can understand where the singers are coming from when treating the religion subject. Black metal is her, so far, favourite sub genre, though she doesn’t consider it “superior”: as long as it’s angry and has feeling into it, she’ll take it. I cannot provide examples, as I’m not a connoisseur myself.

That said, she’s open-minded about music too. Her preferences fill up most of her playlist, but there’s definitely folk or pop songs there and there. What she looks for most, aside format, is the content.

✪ - favourite food / eating habits

Phoebe is not a picky eater, she will eat about anything. Mostly, her diet consists of an healthy balance between veggies and meat, the first being what she has for meals most often. Rice is also a recurrent dish. She is a decent cook, meaning that she rarely buys instant or junk food—that happens only when she’s truly desperate, and has nothing in her fridge that could help for a full home made meal.

She doesn’t have a favourite food, but she does majorly enjoy gulasch, which is basically a meat-stew with various veggies and potatoes. Phoebe especially likes how her grandma prepares it, though at this point in time her elder doesn’t have the strength to. It’s been a while since she’s eaten the (for her) best gulasch in the world.

Sometimes, she indulges in sweet, cold caffeinated beverages. Hence her appreciation for Starbucks, which gets her recognition once in a while, ergo when she has money to waste. This goes without saying: coffee is a consistent part of her routine, mainly due to her job.

☁ - ideal holiday

Peaceful, in the middle of an unknown city all to explore. While she does travel a lot, she never gets the chance to be a tourist, meaning that she knows little to nothing about the cities she visits. While she doesn’t expect it to be any place tropical or exotic, she’d appreciate to travel more thoroughly a city, even one she’s already been to multiple times.

The only one she doesn’t need to look into is Moscow, since it’s her birthland. One place she’d rather explore instead is definitely Japan. Her stay in the state was very brief, after all.

#soulcrux #phoebe || disclosed information.#whew this is oddly long #if i need to tag anything bc of the mentions do shoot me an ask #sealed with wax || asks.#outta violence || ooc.

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devilishdewitt · 5 years

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“Real Variety Show”, April 2019

Ah, dearest darling, hello!

Missed me?)

I feel like exploring new territory, care to join me?

A new format, to be precise.

I’m gonna call this…Short’n’Sweet.

First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of Burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor.

I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion.

Oh, and self-irony.

All is sickly without self-irony.

Now, onwards! To fabulousness!

As we’re all busy, busy bees, my darlings - and I have already pirouetted my penmanship talent in before you in quite an unapologetic way, I shall indeed keep this short’n’sweet.

Though there’s not that much sweetness in this edition…

Leelah Zharkaya & Lyalya Bezhetskaya have now ventured into the tumultuous waters of dark cabaret, creating the “Real Variety Show”.

Same team, new...concept?

Being an avid admirer of the genre, I’ve been keeping an eye on its progress in Moscow and I must say, it’s not quite as fruitful as one could hope.

The Dark Cabaret Festival did not live up to expectations - mostly because of the confusion of the producers. It seemed like only 2 out of 10 organisers actually understood what Dark Cabaret is all about.

Well, in this case it’s more like 1/10.

I keep wondering why Dark Cabaret is having such a tough time in Moscow. It would seem that we have the perfect formula for it - the layers of natural national darkness, self-irony, a plague-feast mentality…what are we lacking?

Good taste, perhaps, and the understanding of the tender, intricate nuances.

Scroll up, darling, and take a look at the poster. It does indeed convey the atmosphere quite accurately.

The venue? Tolerable.

Imagine that you walk in, make your way to the auditorium, and find yourself encountering a lady singing with a noose. Singing with a noose? Kitty Orlova is uber-talented, and the noose did no one any harm (I hope), but somehow it just fell flat.

What was the intention? This is left unclear.

The story. The Narrator is the son of a legendary circus performer who mysteriously disappeared

(you’ll never guess who plays her)

(hint - it’s the director).

He takes us down memory lane, showing the quirks, kinks and kindness of each new character (usually Uncle Something or Aunt Someone).

Why not, darling, why the hell not.

This time round The Narrator was actually tolerable. As if he found a muscle of sincerity and tenderness that worked with the (extremely poorly written) story. In fact, he had moments of sheer brilliance when ad-libbing with the audience. He is no doubt a talented fellow, perhaps he just needs to find his director.

It must be said - Leelah’s creativity is ingenious at times. Some of her acts have incredible and well-executed ideas, a coldness that makes German divas of the 30’s envious and true emotion to captivate the audience. But there is something deeply off-putting about 80% of her stage presence, a nerve that adds a tinge demanding adoration…and not in an exciting way. At times there’s something porcelain about her, and at other times - something so self-absorbed, you’re not sure why you were invited.

Bezhetskaya, on the other hand, is warm. She adores (most of) her audience and the audience responds. Some of her ideas are fantastic, and you can see her beautiful attention to details, humour, playfulness, enjoyment of her own body and craft…but then what leaves a sour taste? Somehow the atmosphere just doesn’t come together. It sometimes feels as if she pretends to be something she is not - but what is this object of pretence?

Whoever put that wig and costume on Din-Din is either phenomenally cruel or innocently blind. But if they are blind, all of the people around them, who can in fact see, are phenomenally cruel. Give the girl a break!

Xana. Brilliance. Her Harlequin act is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Marrying acrobatics, heartfelt narrations and a bombacious attitude makes her an absolute feast for the eyes, mind and senses.

Now, I am quite biased about the poet Zkhous. I must admit I love him fondly, since the Dark Cabaret festivals! As always, he was he dear neurotic self and the poetry was as crude as it was lovely.

Orlova, Chess Queen, Lipsync?! What?! On a stage as tiny as this?! With her gorgeous voice?

Also, this act always confuses much, There’s so much going on, she always gets lost in the multitude of actions and doesn’t actually breathe in the story.

Janina Barabash…the voice gimmick was good.

That’s all.

That Silent Movie act…I don’t even know what it was. She’s surrounded by experienced mentors…couldn’t anyone ask her what the hell she was doing? Amoebing around with a velvet ribbon…okay.

Elisha the poodle! Excellent. As always. A story about purpose told through the sex appeal of a Furry. Elisha certainly found his niche and excels at it.

Marilyn Monroe’s “Daddy”. A song CREATED for an enticing act.

Apologies, my vocabulary completely abandons me here. This was unapologetically dreadful. I won’t even bore myself with analysing it. Amateur at its worst.

Madame Irenushkin as the trench-coated shooter…triumph of vulgarity. Shooting at the audience is mauvais-ton in any professional theatre, but if only that was the only sin…One word - sloppy.

Oh, how the audience perked up at the magical word Шашлыки (barbecue)!

KittenTits McGee! Shaving act! Sheer GENIUS. That girl is a marvel and I’ll never tire repeating it. The music, the rhythm, the concept, the layered references - FLAWLESS.

If I’m being nit-picky, the only thing I’d add is playing the pain of epilation more precisely - no one can escape the 4-second agony when that wax comes off.

Agneta Lincheskvaya, a rare guest in Moscow, made an appearance as Aunt Blanche with her “Streetcar named Desire” act. She is unapologetically her own brand and it works - her mix of confidence and fragility, her unique features, her dance skills and her gorgeous depth made the performance stand out. Enticing.

Long Live Aristocratic Erotism!

“Oh, I know! Let’s take the backing track of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” and write a whole new song about SHOES!”

Well…hm.

Beautiful neon concept by Lyalya. Gorgeous self-irony.

But Kitty and Lyalya had ZERO chemistry. Kitty was just…standing there, by the side, kind of out of the lights, singing a song with very mediocre lyrics, seemingly uncomfortable.

Why must it be so?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - endlessly re-playing the most banal gender stereotypes is exhausting. Re-affirming society of it’s deepest, roughest shortcomings (especially in Russia), is part of reason why society is in a state it’s in.

The final thought was poetic - “you must treasure hearts”. If only someone for a second thought of taking care of our audience hearts…

And, as always, the bow and the dreaded kiss.

Ladies, no one enjoys it apart from a few troubled, greasy men in the audience and you (which I doubt). A hint of a chance of a kiss would be more in tune with the nature of Burlesque, Dark Cabaret and the gorgeous culture of variety show.

Subtlety.

Teasing…

But I guess it’s all a matter of taste, isn’t it?

The next instalment of this groups creativity is called “Vampires on the beach” and is announced as “the best HElloween in town”.

I’m afraid the only word that comes to mind is...yikes.

Though the artwork is excellent.

PPS

Curious how this “short’n’sweet” idea actually turned into a decent sized text. Apologies! My muse could not be tamed, darling!

#Lyalya Bezhetskaya #variety show #burlesqueinrussia #russian burlesque #burlesque

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newmayhem · 5 years

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Rereading ITFOTN

Some notes from my rereading of In the Forests of the Night. I’ll be using this as a guide for the re-write and will add links as I address some of the notes in separate posts.

The Good

I like that it’s so concise. Seriously, not a single word is wasted and there’s no weird purple prose. In the span of only a hundred or so pages, it achieves exactly what it set out to be- a very focused character study that serves as a compelling introduction to a larger world.

We learn a lot about this world very quickly. While ‘Show, don’t tell’ is the general rule, it isn’t always the best choice.

The back and forth between past and present is very well done. Each section leads seamlessly into the next and it’s arranged in a way that builds tension and keeps the pace up. It’s so tightly woven, that I can’t even imagine how I’d ever be able to make any change to it without having to change 3-5 other things.

Having it all be in first person was really clever in that it let the readers get to know Risika while keeping her solitary. I also enjoyed her narrative voice. You get the sense that she’s so done with everything. She’s no longer the ‘ingenue’ that we typically see in YA vampire lit, it’s like she’s a deconstruction of that (or she would be if this had been published recently).

Most of all, I really loved that this is a YA vampire book about a female vampire and that it lets her be cynical and monstrous. The story is completely about her getting revenge and learning to accept herself as she is, it doesn’t revolve around a love interest. In so many ways, it was not only ahead of its time, it’s ahead of current/recent YA vampire lit.

The Not-so-good

Even though I liked how concise the book was, it still left something to be desired. Even with the book being focused on Risika and told from her pov, I still feel like the intricacies of her personality could’ve been pushed further. It goes by so fast that we don’t actually see the character development that got Risika from being afraid of Aubrey to brazenly challenging him.

Upon rereading, I realized that the main reason why it goes by so quickly is that there wasn’t actually much of a plot- it’s missing a second act. The story is mostly lots of exposition and then the final showdown. In fact, most of it is told in flashbacks, which, because it dovetails so well with the present-day parts of the story, kind of distracts from the fact that there isn’t that much that happens between Risika finding the rose and her fight with Aubrey.

While this is clearly a story about Risika getting her revenge, I kind of feel like there’s no real driving force. Even with how she even got into this situation of having to confront Aubrey just felt like an accident.

A general criticism that I have about the series is that so much of the information we get about it is Word of God and not in the actual text. I would really like to see more of the world in the text through showing and not just Risika telling us about everything. I also noticed a few moments where the first person narration oversteps. Like, Risika would be telling the reader all these things that would make more sense coming from an omniscient narrator.

There were definitely a few cringe moments befitting a debut novel written by a teenager. These include:

That whole mirror trick for having characters describe what they look like.

Alexander’s notes to Risika being soaked in tears.

Risika giving herself chunky highlights as a symbol of remembrance and defiance.

Risika burning Aubrey’s note and leaving the ashes on his territory as a ‘Take that!’ while also consciously avoiding hunting there is also really lame.

I don’t really like some of the names.

They’re fun for what they are, but I’ll probably leave them out of my rewrite.

This is probably nit picky, but there are also some weird sudden changes in verb tense.

Plot holes

The original text implies that Risika’s been in Concord for the entire 300 years she’s been a vampire. I find this very unlikely.

That said, if she only recently returned, what prompted her? This sounds like it could be an opening to expand the story with a bigger plot line that affects/reflects the state of the vampire world.

Why did Alexander wait 300 years to come find Risika? What ultimately caused him to go in search of her? I feel like it’s very unlikely that he just had no idea where she was and coincidentally never bumped into her. If he wanted to find her, and he knew where she would be (in order to send her the that last note at the zoo), why didn’t he just stick around a little longer to talk to her in person?

Word of God says that Aubrey was the one who convinced Ather to change Risika and that all of his interactions with Risika were to help her, but that still doesn't answer the question as to why he would do all that in the first place.

How did Risika not know that she was on Aubrey’s land (especially if she had spent the past few centuries actively avoiding him)? Risika said that she’s hunted in the area before but hasn’t experienced any trouble. If Aubrey’s so powerful and influential, why did it take so long for him to realize that she had been trespassing? If he did realize before, why did he wait to warn her off?

Did Ather and/or Aubrey know about Risika’s true heritage and what became of her mother? Did anyone? If so, how does she still not know? Did Alexander find out? If Lila lives in New Mayhem (according to Word of God), how has she never run into Risika? If no one knows about this...how?

All in all, it’s a very good starting point, but there’s so much room to expand.

Things that could be expanded upon

Risika’s relationships - I get that she’s really solitary and the whole point is that she’s sequestered herself away from vampire society, but I do think there’s still a way to do that without cutting her off from all contact completely. And also, the other characters are really interesting and would offer additional insight into the world.

Aubrey - I think everything would make a little more sense if they had interacted more than three times. There’s also that ambiguity about his motivations regarding Risika that’s really interesting.

Alexander - I think we should go more in depth with how much of a dick he is. I really want to see the signs that their relationship isn’t actually so great and to see that deterioration because there are a lot of moments even in the flashbacks that could be taken as tension points between them.

Ather - I just want to see what Ather’s up to these days and also to challenge everyone’s dismissal of her as being someone weak who tries to sire much stronger fledglings in the hopes that they’ll protect her.

Jager - He’s really interesting in that he comes across as the only sane man, the flaneur old timer who’s amused by what all these youngins are doing, but at the same time you can’t help but suspect that he might have a hidden agenda.

Lynette - I’m cool with her not having a big part in the story, but I think it would be a better use of her character to have her serve as a foil for Risika and also to highlight Risika’s sense of alienation even while she was human.

Peter - Again, he can stay a side character, but Word of God says that he knew about the twins’ heritage and I really want to explore that angle and what kind of tension might exist between him and his children.

Lila - So much of her story is Word of God, which kind of sucks because it adds such a different dimension to Risika’s story.

Risika’s coming of age story - This is mostly a revenge tale, but I also see it as a story of Risika coming to terms with who she is.

The world - Like I said before, some of the plot holes relating to why the story even started in the first place leave an opening for us to see some of the larger political or societal conflicts of nyeusigrube.

I’ve been debating switching the first person narration to third person. I might end up going with third person narration because it’ll force me to actually rewrite and not just edit. But if I stay with first person narration, it would be cool to play with the idea of Risika as an unreliable narrator (probably by bringing in first person povs from other characters).

It's a little too monochromatic for my taste (and needlessly so). I’d really like to find a way to add some melanin here.

I also noticed some parallels with the Persephone myth, which might be worth exploring.

Also, wouldn’t it be cool if Risika’s witch powers had also manifested while she was human?

#in the forests of the night #amelia atwater rhodes #den of shadows #nyeusigrube #writing notes #intro #reviews

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hextual · 7 years

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Podcast Recs

The following recs/summaries may contain light-to-moderate spoilers, though I try to keep things vague and rot13 the more specific stuff! Here is an abbreviated spoiler-free rec list, for the sensitive among you.

Night Vale Presents

The three non-WTNV shows have all finished their first seasons (and Alice Isn't Dead just started its second). They're relatively short and contain complete story arcs.

WTNV: The ur-podcast, the light horror fiction narrative that kicked off the trend. Y'all know it or you don't. If you've somehow never heard it and don't want to start from the pilot, I recommend trying Episode 13; it's a stand-alone episode in a slightly different format than the rest, but it gives a good sense of WTNV's general aesthetic. Also it's just really really good.

Alice Isn't Dead: A surrealist horror roadtrip about a trucker searching for her wife Alice, who isn't dead. She's got nothing to lose and a lot of dangerous road to cover.

Orbiting Human Circus: Bizarre and magical and a little bit heartbreaking, like all good circuses should be. Julian is the janitor of a heavily fictionalized Eiffel Tower, and he desperately wants to be part of the Orbiting Human Circus show that he cleans up after every night.

Within the Wires: Dystopian sci-fi 1980s AU, told through a series of 'relaxation' cassettes. More grounded in reality than the others, though that's not saying much. The medium is also foregrounded much more in the narrative.

Hiatus

Wolf 359: SUPER dark, though you wouldn't know it from the first dozen episodes. However, the inflicting-trauma to coping-with-trauma ratio is low enough that I listened to the whole thing and will almost definitely listen to Season 4 when it's released starting this June. Also, no queerness whatsoever (making it unique on this list).

Eos 10: Spaceship sitcom. Less artistically ambitious than most of the others on this list, which is not necessarily a point against it.

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Newer sci-fi podcast that I absolutely love; it ticks all my very specific boxes (including medium-as-message) and is also just really well constructed and executed. I adore every single one of the main characters. There are only 4 episodes but I'm so hyped about it.

The Bright Sessions: Audio files from a therapist to teens and young adults with superpowers. Everything I ever wanted X-Men to be: light on the fight scenes/explosions, heavy on exploring what it means to have superhuman powers and how that might affect your life/relationships.

The Penumbra Podcast: Cyberpunk noir pastiche that sometimes gets a little too broad for me but is generally good fun of the Thrilling Tales! variety.

Ars Paradoxica: Time travel in one of its more complex interpretations. Paradox is a major plot element. Kind of sci-fi historical fiction?

Now for the more detailed writeups, including overviews of queerness and genre. As I said before, potential spoilers are rot13′d...but Here There Be Dragons etc.

Night Vale Presents

All of these are incredibly solid shows with an otherworldly feel to them that I love, despite being otherwise quite different.

All main characters are queer; WTNV has queer side characters (including nonbinary characters), but afaik the only other explicitly queer characters in AID/ORC/WTW are love interests of the MCs. That's pretty understandable, though, given that the casts of the three non-WTNV shows are exponentially smaller, and they've aired significantly fewer episodes.

I want to mention something in a totally value-neutral way: none of the shows feature homophobia or directly discuss queerness (lowkey exception for one episode of WTNV). I actually enjoy that, personally; it's usually very restful to spend time in worlds where queerness is normalized and unremarkable. Occasionally, however, I do want a slightly more direct approach, so I wanted to make a note in case you're in that kind of mood.

Welcome to Night Vale The first and only podcast I listened to for about a year. Honestly, do I even need to say anything about WTNV? I do want to mention that I think it's gotten a little bogged down in continuity over the last year. AFAIK it wasn't conceived as a long-running narrative arc, and a lot of its early charm came from the total lack of context. After Year 2, I feel like it did start spending a little too much time explaining things and filling out backstory for elements that, frankly, didn't need them. YMMV ofc, and I still listen to/enjoy every new episode, but I'm not madly in love with Year 3 the way I was with Year 1-2. Queerness: Queer af! The main character gets a full same-sex romance arc; V'q pnyy vg 'unccl-raqvat' ohg vg'f fgvyy batbvat nf n ybivat naq urnygul eryngvbafuvc, juvpu vf rira orggre. Multiple side characters are queer, including a few nonbinary characters who use they/them pronouns. Genre: tucking into a short stack at 2am in a diner in the American Southwest, slowly realizing that the woman behind the counter called you by name even though you've never been here before, and also you can't quite remember how you got here in the first place. Alice Isn't Dead Beautiful, creepy, and acted by the brilliant Jasika Nicole. I'd place this more firmly in the horror genre than the others, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, take note; there's some suspense and a little bit of violence. That said, I am usually MASSIVELY sensitive and can't even watch trailers for horror movies (I have made my peace with never ever seeing Get Out), and I was perfectly fine with it. Queerness: The main character is a woman married to Alice, who isn't dead. It's like the opposite of the Bury Your Gays trope. Genre: driving along a nameless interstate late at night, the world around you narrowed to the section of road thrown into sharp relief by your headlights, and the occasional glint of animal eyes. The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air ORC is the most fanciful of the Night Vale family. The other shows seem like they take place in realities just a shade off from ours, but ORC completely throws any pretense of realism out the window. There's no real sense of a world outside the Circus, and why should there be? The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air has an infinitude of fantastical delights: singing saws, a bird that can mimic (almost) a full orchestra, tap-dancing mice. There's no trick or sleight of hand involved, not even a dusty tome of magic spells. ORC simply presents a world in which these wonders exist in hidden corners. The story is sometimes melancholy, and there are regular hints of a deep sadness underneath the surface, but the main character is defined by his determination and...well, 'optimism' would be too strong a word, but he has an unyielding sense of hope. He doesn't actually think things will turn out well for him (and he's so often right about that), but he clings to the hope that this time, maybe it might. Queerness: Gur znva punenpgre nyyhqrf gb na rk-oblsevraq bapr. This is one of the lighter touches of queerness in the Night Vale family. Genre: peering through a dusty velvet curtain just offstage, while brightly-costumed creatures dance to a tune you haven't heard since you were a child. Within the Wires While all Night Vale Presents shows have some kind of narrative conceit framing the audio medium (community radio station, trucker radio transmissions, broadcast wish fulfillment), those tend to be vehicles for the story and stylistic flourishes, rather than core elements of the story itself. WtW is presented as audio cassettes on full-body relaxation, and the cassettes themselves become key actors. This is not a story that could be told in any other medium, which personally I freaking love. This is also a more sci-fi show than the others, despite being set in AU 1980s, and more blatantly dystopic. The world-building's a little more evident, which is neither a good thing nor a bad thing; I think it's a side effect of being more sci-fi than fantasy. Everything feels like it has an explanation, even if the explanation is not provided, and it all fits together smoothly. Also: the narrator has a mild kiwi accent, which I find incredibly soothing. Queerness: Yep. Gur znva punenpgre unf n pbzcyvpngrq ohg qrpvqrqyl abg cyngbavp (s/s) eryngvbafuvc jvgu gur jbzna gur gncrf ner vagraqrq sbe. Genre: lying quietly in a sensory isolation tank until you inexplicably start crying for the first time in years.

On hiatus

Wolf 359 So, there are a couple voice actors in Wolf 359 that don't do a whole lot for me, performance-wise. I don't want to get more specific because YMMV and I'm also just a really picky audio consumer, but there you have it. Mostly it's not an issue, though. This is also one of the darker shows I listen to, although it starts out with more of a zany sitcom vibe. There's a fair amount of murder, murder attempts, and general people-being-horrible-in-ways-they-believe-to-be-justified. It's not something I think I could sit through again, but it is a captivating story told well. There's a lot of focus on the emotional arcs and characters dealing with trauma, which I am All About in sci-fi.

Queerness: zero. Zip. Zilch. It doesn't feature any romance arcs at all, though, so...I found it tolerable. Honestly, if it hadn't come so highly recommended, I probably would not have given it a shot. Genre: placing your hand on a rusty, unmarked door that wasn't in the ship schematics, and knowing you must step through—you must step through. Eos 10 After my first pass at this write-up, I realized that I was being really negative—far more negative than this show deserves. So I want to be clear: I listened to and enjoyed every extant episode of Eos 10, and I'm looking forward to Season 3, whenever it's released. It's a pleasantly entertaining space sitcom and I've gotten attached to the characters; the writing's solid and the voice acting is generally pretty great. It's just not quite tailored to my specific tastes. Ok, back to what I originally wrote: This podcast feels a lot more mainstream/conventional in its tropes than the others. Unlike most of the podcasts I listen to, the medium is invisible to the characters: it's not pitched as a radio show or a voice recorder or a series of motivational tapes. To me, this adds another layer of remove between the audience and the story. It's fine, it's just very straightforward in its presentation, with no medium-specific conceit or anything. It’s not really outsider art in any sense, and could legitimately be a TV show if it had the budget. That's a pretty good description of the show as a whole, honestly. It makes no pretense at being high-concept, it just does what it does. Queerness: This one...is not very queer. One of the side characters is gay but it doesn't really come up a lot. There's also a gay minor character that gets mentioned but never appears, and it's kind of a running gag that the gay character has a thing for the main character, who insists he's straight. It's a gross trope and I kind of winced at it, but it's usually framed by other characters as "are you sure you're not interested, because [gay character] is way out of your league and you're really not going to do better," which mitigates it somewhat for me? Also, gurer ner uvagf gung gur znva punenpgre zvtug npghnyyl or vagrerfgrq va gur tnl punenpgre, but only time will tell whether it's queerbaiting or not. Look, it's not an ideal situation. If it’s a dealbreaker, I totally understand, especially since there's no clear answer to the "is this queerbaiting" question and due to some unfortunate creator health issues, we might not get one for a while. Genre: ducking out of the way as a harried-looking man in a lab coat and stethoscope pelts down the hallway, yelling "GET ME FIVE UNITS OF ALIEN SEX POLLEN, STAT!"

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

I love this show a disproportionate amount, given that only four episodes have aired. This is a newer podcast, and one I stumbled on completely by accident! I wasn't expecting much, but it was sci-fi and the main character's last name was Liu, so I decided to give it a shot. And then it turned out to be not only awesome but also totally queer! I think I actually said "HAH! YES!" out loud when the queerness was canonized within the first few minutes. (This is why I live alone.) Plus, this is a small thing from a throwaway line, but...the main character weighs roughly the same amount as I do. Do you know how often that happens with Asian characters? Never, is how often. For possibly the first time in my life, I feel like I can legitimately headcanon a main character who looks exactly like me. I'm definitely going to do some incredibly self-indulgent fanart at some point. Unprecedented overidentifying with the main character aside: honestly, it's like this podcast was tailor-made for me. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 1 (and kind of 2): Vafrpher ovbybtvfg wbvaf ent-gnt perj bs fzhttyref jvgu n sbhaq-snzvyl ivor naq nyvra phygheny pynfurf, nyy senzrq va n fvavfgre zrgnaneengvir gung hfrf gur zrqvhz nf n cybg qrivpr, CYHF cbgragvny ebznapr orgjrra na Rnfg Nfvna jbzna naq n Fbhgu Nfvna jbzna? Um, sign me the fuck up. The only downside is that this has definitely raised my expectations for new podcasts by an unreasonable amount. Every new podcast I've tried since Starship Iris has been vaguely disappointing. My podcast standards are way too high now, and it's all Starship Iris's fault.

Queerness: YES. The main character is a queer woman, there's a nonbinary alien species and the alien crew member uses they/them pronouns, and there's a trans guy. Also, this is wild speculation, but V guvax/oryvrir/ubcr gung bar bs gur bgure srznyr perj zrzoref vf orvat frg hc nf n ebznagvp vagrerfg sbe gur znva punenpgre. There's some explicit discussion of gender identity in a non-traumatic way which tbh is like water in the freaking desert.

Genre: ??? it's too new and I love it too much to assign it a genre.

The Bright Sessions

As I said in the spoiler-free summary: this is everything I wanted X-Men to be. Hell, it's everything I ever want superhero stories to be, and it's why I've been drawn to superhero stories since I was a teenager. The Bright Sessions deals with the complex consequences of, e.g., having empathy powers as a teenager while learning how to manage your own emotions and maturity. The main character is Dr. Bright, a therapist specializing in people with superpowers, which naturally provides the perfect angle for those people to get really navel-gazey about their lives. There is an actual overarching plot with a shadowy government agency, of course, but that's definitely not what I'm here for and luckily that’s clearly just a vehicle for the feelings.

Queerness: One of the main characters has a m/m romance arc; another main character is asexual; a side character (who may soon be considered a main character?) is bisexual. Because the conceit is therapy sessions, Dr. Bright does inquire delicately about how her patients may or may not be coping with emerging/existing queer identities, but none of them find it traumatic.

Genre: telekinetically fiddling with a desk puzzle limned in afternoon sun, as the doctor asks: "And how does that make you feel?"

The Penumbra Podcast

I'd had the Penumbra Podcast on my radar/subscriptions list for a while, but I'd never quite finished the first episode...until the remastered/rewritten first story was released. The difference is astronomical. The creators talk about audio quality etc. in their reasoning for recreating the first story, but for me, the main distinction is the skill in storytelling and the confidence to create noir without relying on questionable tropes to signal "hard-boiled!!!" I sometimes think the writing and characterizations are a little broad, but that may be down to genre. Penumbra doesn't really go for 'subtle' or 'realistic.' An important format note: there's a main character with episodic adventures, but in between the two-part adventures, there are one-shots in various genres. I actually skipped most of the one-shots because I'm not great with horror or kid stories.

Queerness: The main character of the main story is queer (jvgu na qryvtugshyyl rzbgvbanyyl pbafgvcngrq z/z ebznapr nep gung'f abg va n terng cynpr evtug abj), as are numerous side characters. It's a noir pastiche, though, so the main character is pretty self-sabotaging in all areas of his life; a 'happy ending' doesn't seem incredibly likely. One of the stand-alone stories is a queer Western, which I found delightful. It's also one of the few stand-alone stories that has a bonus follow-up episode.

Genre: taking a long, slow drag on a cigarette as the rain blurs the neon lights and filth of the alien city below.

Ars Paradoxica

Ars Paradoxica shares a producer with The Bright Sessions, which is why I tried it! Like all decent time travel stories, Ars Paradoxica is meticulously planned with a lot of moving parts. The worldbuilding is intense and requires actually paying attention, which can be challenging for me since I typically listen to podcasts while multitasking. Frankly, it moves a little slow for me...which is odd to say about a show that regularly has timeskips of months or years and literally involves time travel. I guess I feel that way because there's a lot of attention paid to the action and plot, but less to the emotional character arcs. And obviously my narrative preferences run a certain way, so I'm only really paying attention to the character stuff. Which, to be fair, certainly exists and is carried through well—it's just not in my preferred proportions. Plus, the cast is quite sprawling compared to most other podcasts, and the tone is almost Crapsack World but not quite.

Queerness: The main character is explicitly asexual and briefly explains it, and there are a handful of queer side characters. It's semi-historical, and there's some discussion of managing visibility etc.

Genre: staring into the dusty gears of a massive clock running backwards as the minute hand slowly approaches a blinking red light.

#recs #podcast recs #podcasts #hext #this was 100% written because I had a slow week at work

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mrevaunit42 · 7 years

Text

So you decided to solve a mystery (and what a terrible idea that was) prologue

hey everyone, Mr.E here back from being sick. kinda still sick and tired but decided to get back to writing. So I recently saw A series of unfortunate events on Netflix and being a huge fan of the book, you can imagine how much i loved it. So much so it reminded me of one of my earliest projects ever. A mystery series heavily influenced by ASoUE’s. i mean the original project has been lost for years now but it was the first project i actually planned out. books,side stories, everything. So to warm up back to writing from my accidental break, i decided to play with my original idea from so long ago.

So this takes place in a world that’s chaotic and just random like ASoUE and like a series, it is dark but i try to be funny and kinda normalize everything. all that jazz. so as a warning, this is darker than my usual stories. this is all also all experimental and i’m not really sure if i’ll keep this going but i really determined to keep this a side project like my fletcher story. I really appreciate if you give me your thoughts on this: good bad, i would love feedback from you guys to help find my tone and style in this story.

So that’s about it. the italics are Mr.E and he really doesn’t know everything. i kinda use myself as a way to explain things, set the tone, things of the sort, just a random narrator.

so this is before the main story. please have a great week and i hope you enjoy reading this little experiment.

also @hains-mae

Natural causes.

That's what coroner determined in their report as to what took my oldest friend's life.

Of course there is nothing natural about having a heart attack and falling face first into a triple layer vanilla cake, suffocating on what I was told was a dry, mediocre bland taste.

I still remember where I was when I heard of my friend's passing.

I was secretly competing in a Miss Universe Pageant in New York under the guise Miss Omicron Persei 8, attempting to retrieve my grandmother's Chicken Noodle Soup recipe from the hands of enemy agents. The soup was known for its bitter taste and ability to render anyone who merely took a small taste unconscious for several days.

The secret ingredient of course was raspberries and a 2 teaspoons of crushed sleeping pills sprinkled throughout the broth. Easy in hindsight but I wasn't a really great cook back then.

Yes I was about to be handed my 2nd place trophy for my amazing rendition of Don't Stop Me Now when I discovered my friend was no longer among the living. I would tell you how of course but then I would have to murder you and I rather quite lazy at the moment.

Yes, I will never forget Gregor and the birthday I missed....

It was 3 years ago or possibly longer given I do not know when you are reading this highly secretive document

The night was silent, the city unusually hushed and subdued. Not even the crickets chirped in the stillness.

The cold was harsh and unforgiving with signs that it would rain soon. Everyone who wasn't already bundled inside in their warm abodes were racing frantically to become so, hoping to beat the impending storm that slowly approached on the horizon.

Well all except two men who stood on a roof, simply waiting and attempting to pass the time with the solidarity of their mission the only reason they dared to brave the weather.

“You're using it wrong.” the man with the incredibly ugly fedora told his companion.

The other man pulled the circular object away from his eye, the gaze no longer skyward towards the handful of stars that hung above but rather to the man with the tacky ugly fedora.

“What?” The man with a dull voice asked, eyebrow raised questioningly

“That's not how you use it.” The ugly fedora wearing man gestured to the item in his hand.

“I know” the man with a dull voice weakly snarled “It's not like I have a telescope out here. I just want to the see the stars.”

“You can see them by looking up”

“Ugh” the man with the dull voice whined “Why did I get stuck with you?”

The Ugly Fedora man shrugged “I don't like it either but we're here. Let's make the best of this.”

The Dull man sighed “So....like sports?”

“umm....no. Do you like cars?”

“No....Pizza?”

“makes me gassy. Tofu?”

“Umm” The Dull man shook his head “No, not really......”

An awkward silence fell between the two once again, the quietness of the night overtaking them quickly.

“This...” The Ugly Fedora man slowly asked “isn't like a training exercise? Bond with your teammates and all that crap?”

The Dull man shuddered “god I hope not, I hate those exercises. Especially the whole defusing a bomb blindfolded.”

“Right? And deciding to trust Jeff. Jeff just never listens!”

“I KNOW! I freaking hate when Jeff is all like 'hey guys, I'm going to take the tool kit we need to get the door open and go lock myself in my van, listening to Rush with headphones really loud.”

“or when he steals food from the fridge and he's like 'it wasn't me. It was Steve' then he keeps eating your food in front of you.”

“I HATE THAT”

The two men shared a laugh, the frosty distance between them shrinking.

“So...what do you like to watch on TV?” The Ugly Fedora man asked cautiously

The Dull voiced man shrugged “I like lots of things. Tracer, The Man who knew Just enough, El Sol and La Bruja.”

There was an uncharacteristic girly gasp of excitement that escaped from the ugly fedora man's mouth, a barely contained squeal with the subtle trembling of joy.

“El Sol and La Bruja? I LOVE THAT SHOW! When Rodrigo showed up completely unharmed from Juanette's planted bomb.”

“Or” The dull voiced man chimed in “When Luthor decided it was best to head back home only for his secret twin brother take his place.

The pair of fast friends shared a knowing look with one of another, arms wide as they both cried out at once “Juanette!”

“Oh oh oh!” The ugly Fedora man cooed “Doesn't she look cute with Frankie!”

“Yeah” The Dull voiced man agreed before a look of surprise came over his face “Wait, what? No she deserves to be with Ferdinand.”

“Ferdinand?” The ugly fedora man repeated, unable to keep the shock out of his voice “No no no, they are a horrible ship. I mean to start, their name: Juanand? What kind of ship name is that?”

“It's Ferdinette first of all” The dull voice man snarled “and it is better than all sexual tension, no depth Juankie!”

“It's called Frankette” The ugly fedora man haughtily replied “And Ferdinand has all the charm of burnt toast.”

The Dull voiced man let out the most enthusiastic gasp he could muster “It's better than Frankie 'I'm a double crossing crook' jerk bag.”

“Hey hey, he's a misunderstood bad boy!”

The Dull voiced man scoffed at the mere idea “The only this misunderstood is Ferdinand. Seriously? I thought we were friends.”

“We've been friends a grand total of 30 seconds” man with the ugly fedora huffed “and what a waste of 30 seconds indeed.”

“Why you....”

Before the two men could properly kill each other, their wristwatches beeped once. Its tone sweet, short and crisp.

The two released their grip on one another, sharing a deep hatred glare towards each other as the man with the incredibly dull voice gently placed the scope he watched the stars through onto the cobble stonework of the building before bending low and opening a briefcase settled against the floor, the soft click hardly audible through the unforgiving winds of the approaching storm.

To this day I wonder what was the true cause of death of my dear friend.

Meanwhile, the ugly fedora wearing man gingerly picked a small plain, dull sliver case, carefully placing it on a nearby table before quietly dialing the code to unlock the padded lock attached to the handle.

I, of course, believed it to be the work of furious North Canadian bees at first as any sting from the creature could easily be mistaken as heart failure to the untrained eye.

The dull voiced man meticulously wiped down the polished and well kept sniper rifle, smoothly ridding the grime and dirt from the bolt.

But I remembered they are really picky about cake and would've never been caught dead near one so bland and tasteless. Which naturally is why we order such horrible treats.

There was a slap of rubber hitting flesh as the ugly fedora wearing man finished adjusting a pair of thick gloves onto his hands, his eyes watching the bellowing frosty smoke pour from the tiny container.

Another option is what we refer to as a Jack Frost. It is a magic bullet or a piece of projectile designed never to be found when shot. We do not condone the use of actual firearms due to their more....

The dull voiced man eyed his partner carefully as he made way over, a small, inch sized bullet made of solid ice held cautiously in his hand.

Chaotic nature. Anyway, a Jack Frost is a specially crafted bullet made of ice, about an inch in length and a half an inch wide. Frozen with a special chemical compound to prevent it from melting immediately when exposed to air.

The man with the dull voice gulped, sliding the detached scope back into place carefully as the man with the ugly fedora slowly loaded the bullet into the chamber.

Of course we want it to melt just not yet. The ice itself is water but in that water is a fact acting poison that is easily exposed through the skin.

“You got him?” the man with the ugly fedora asked.

The dull voiced man nodded. He could see their target: An older man of about 50 years surrounded by friends and fellow agents, cheering, laughing, having a good time. The penthouse suite was covered with nondescript security guards in their white and black suits, shades worn despite the fact it was dark out.

See the poison is very thick, a more layered substance than the water. So as the ice bullet begins to break apart when fired....

There was a muted pop, a sound quickly swallowed by the thunderous boom of electricity from the gathering storm clouds.

….the poison begins to fill the space that the slowly melting water leaves behind and the skin is quick to absorb it, even through the toughest of fabric. Well except a diving suit.

“...I hate you...” the dull voiced man whispered quickly as the penthouse broke into chaos, the guests in varying states of shock, fear, dismay “I can't believe you ship Juankie”

“I never want to see you again” The ugly fedora man said bluntly as the security made a mad scramble to reach the dying man's side “You are disgrace the fandom of El Sol and la Bruja.”

I highly doubt he was wearing a diving suit. He always said it clashed with his skin tone and he absolutely refused the blue colored variation

“hey” The dull voiced man called to the ugly fedora man.

“What?”

“Look” the dull voiced man pointed to the black cloud that formed over the city “A storm....you don't think it's a metaphorical representation that we set a series of events that no one could ever foresee and will eventually result in the destruction of our entire organization?”

“No, now come on.”

Natural causes.

That's what coroner told me when I arrived an hour later after his death.

Of course I know better.

And so did his daughter.

Well actually his daughter didn't know better, but she would.

3 years later.

#My story #experimental #So you want to solve

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smalltownfae · 2 years

Text

My Book Tastes

What I have learned about my tastes in all of these years of reading. These don't include comics because with comics I am not as picky and I just want something quick and fun to read, usually.

I seldom read non fiction and when I do it's not memoirs or anything but something like the psychology of fairy tales and such.

FANTASY:

I don't like urban settings. It doesn't matter if it's a secondary world or not. I prefer fantasy set in a world inspired by the past. I don't like portal fantasy either. Magical realism might work, but those books need to be short and it will really depend on execution.

I love when there are queer characters in the fantasy world, especially if it's a series and I am getting kind of tired of trying series where everyone is the same in terms of sexuality. That doesn't mean I will not attempt it again and I might enjoy it, but it's harder to become a favourite that way so I should prioritize fantastical worlds that recognize non-heterosexual people exist.

I love quests and coming of age fantasy. I love first person narration and to follow a character since they are a kid until they are very old. I also like the master and apprentice dynamic.

I want to read about worlds that are more creative, not medieval or Victorian inspired or urban. Something that is mostly made up would be great and I should search if I can find anything like that. Like, a spirit world or something.

I tend to prefer fantasy that has as much dark moments as light hearted ones, but I also like it to be emotional and the endings to be bittersweet. Most grimdark is too edgy for me. Most hopepunk is too sweet for me.

YA is an harder sell for me than middle grade. My preference are adult books but if I need something more light-hearted and quick I will probably pick up a middle grade book instead of an hopepunk one or a YA.

I like the world building to be slowly revealed and not set in stone. No info dumps and a changeable world makes it more real and immersive to me. In that same way, I don't like hard magic systems.

I like historical fantasy as long as there are no real historical people in it or at least they don't play a major role and only get a mention or something. I feel weird reading about a person that actually existed, but interpreted by someone else that is putting words in their mouth.

SCIENCE FICTION

I don't like technical and scientific language so very few science fiction books will work for me. The books have to be less than 300 pages.

I like robots, AIs and aliens, especially if there are fresh new takes on that but the stories always have to be a bit dark.

I used to love dystopians but now I am a bit tired of it. I still can read it occasionally though.

Scifi horror and steampunk might work for me and I want to explore that, but space operas are probably not my thing.

HISTORICAL FICTION

Same thing as I said for historical fantasy. I am all good if we are using just the setting and not touching people that actually existed.

CONTEMPORARY

I can actually like it, but the books have to be less than 400 pages and not set on USA or another country that is too similar to my own. The more different the main characters are from me the better. Only worth reading if it's a completely different experience and I learn something.

ROMANCE

I don't like it. I gave it a fair shot, but to be honest I don't like when romance is either the sole focus or main focus of a story. I like a good romance, but as a secondary plot or so. Not as the main one.

HORROR

I really want to explore this genre more. I think thrillers got too repetitive at this point and I feel that horror can be more creative. My preference is still books no longer than 400 pages.

I like psychological and gothic horror. I don't like monsters (unless they have a thematic meaning) and slashers or stuff of the like.

I like haunted house stories and having a group of people to follow. I don't like gore or true crime.

I want to explore dark fantasy, scifi horror and cosmic horror.

MYSTERY/THRILLER

I used to really like these, but I don't think they work for me any more. I prefer to watch it as a movie or show than read about it. Unless Gillian Flynn publishes another book. I still have a few books in these genres to read on my shelves though.

#my book tastes

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esotericbreak · 7 years

Text

So... in the Esoteric Break Universe, the story is divided into the main, current timeline and the narrator retelling the story in the future. The narrator belongs to an organization called the Revitalization Agency, or RA. Below is the first meeting transcript, with further installments coming later. But for now, enjoy, and meet some of the characters from the future side of Esoteric Break’s world.

RA Meeting Transcript 1/1/00

Meeting 001

Vicente: I bring the first meeting of the Revitalization Agency to order. To start, I would like to call roll.

Weiss: To start, I would like to make the motion for this not to be treated like we’re in elementary school.

Edel: Weiss, I would like to make the motion for you to shut your mouth.

Vicente: You are aware this is being recorded and translated into text format via computer, right? That does mean everything you say will not be edited in any way for professionalism.

Estore: I don’t believe that’s the biggest issue right now.

Vicente: But this is the very first meeting. In the future, when our descendants learn about history in school, what do you think they’ll say when they read or listen to this?

Estore: I think they’ll thank us for making history class interesting, but you’re assuming we’ll even be remembered as anything more than yet another desperate attempt to regain order. Don’t shoot the mutant before you have any bullets, Vicente.

Vicente: Speaking of which, that is a topic we do need to cover.

Estore: It’s just a saying.

Vicente: I meant the literal meaning. But I’ll get to that in a second. Bootes branch head: Jeret?

Jeret: Present, and I second Weiss’s motion. I feel like I’m back in school.

Vicente: Overruled. Canis Major branch head: Edel?

Edel: Present and accounted for.

Vicente: Canis Minor branch head: Weiss?

Weiss: Here.

Vicente: Auriga branch head: Estore?

Estore: Present, and perhaps you could simply ask everyone who’s not here to raise their hands. Or count heads, since there are only five of us including you.

Vicente: It’s a matter of principle. And finally, Aquila branch head: Vicente, is present. There, was that so difficult?

Weiss: Like pulling teeth.

Vicente: Why do I bother?

Estore: Let’s just get down to business and dispense with the rituals and formalities.

Vicente: Very well, we’ll avoid the old world meeting style and skip straight to business in future meetings. I just wanted this to be a little historic, given it’s our first meeting ever.

Jeret: You never had a tea party with stuffed animals you pretended were people? Or did you not want to tell me I replaced Mr. Flopkins as Bootes branch head?

Estore: Jeret.

Jeret: Sorry, Estore.

Estore: *coughs*

Jeret: And sorry, Vicente.

Vicente: Make all the jokes you want, but the RA has been aptly functioning for a while now, we’ve just been unable to do anything with ourselves. But now with branch heads, we may be able to extend our influence. Any suggestions?

Estore: It’s not my branch’s responsibility, but we need a reliable source of food.

Vicente: Still trying to find a leader for Orion, but we already have several acres of farmland already yielding crops. Jeret, for the time-being, your branch is also in charge of hunting, until we manage to get Orion completed.

Jeret: I have no objection. However, we should get one thing out of the way now so we don’t let it spiral in a big philosophical debate: are mutants a food source.

Vicente: I… are they edible?

Jeret: I’ve had to eat them before. They taste like overcooked, rotten pork, but they’re just like any other kind of meat.

Vicente: Well, we’re a little different than most people, Edel and Weiss should run tests to determine their effect on humans without Fountain.

Jeret: And suppose they do come back negative for any side effects, what then?

Vicente: I believe that needs to be determined by a majority vote.

Weiss: It’s not technically cannibalism, right?

Estore: Depends on your definition.

Edel: Maybe it’s best if we don’t dwell on that aspect too long.

Vicente: I disagree, I would prefer if we were certain we weren’t eating the equivalent of rabid humans.

Jeret: I wouldn’t call them “human” anymore. Have you seen those things? They’re about as close to a terrifying horror monster as we can get!

Estore: As close to? I would disagree, they are exactly that.

Vicente: The point remains, is it okay to eat them if we have to?

Edel: Well, I suppose my reservations are due to the possibility of a cure, if anyone believes that is possible?

Jeret: I don’t think anyone can come back from that. Physically or mentally.

Estore: I’m siding with Jeret on this one. Mutants are beyond hope for a cure. Given how they were created, I doubt we even could synthesize a way to morph their bodies back, and the mental trauma would be beyond any shrink’s qualifications. It’s likely even if by some miracle, in the distant future, we could turn them back into something more human-shaped, they wouldn’t still try and kill us in the most gruesome way possible. Which brings me to another point; since we’re going to have to either run from them or kill them anyway, not eating them or feeding them to something would be a waste if they don’t have any ill-effects on the consumer.

Weiss: I still don’t like eating anything that still has a human face.

Jeret: Creepiest human faces ever, but point made.

Estore: I don’t like the idea of eating them, in fact, I rather abhor it, but if we have to as a last resort, it’s preferable to a slow death from starvation. Besides, they’re eight foot tall, rage monsters with spider limbs who can plow through a wall if they’re hunting someone. I think any hope for negotiations went out the window a long time ago.

Vicente: Sarcasm was not needed, however you have a point there.

Estore: Obviously, no one is comfortable with using them to make meat patties, but we can’t be picky eaters, so let’s come to a reasonable solution. If there’s ever a famine, or something else happens, and we have no other option for food, we’ll eat them instead of waiting for someone to go Donner Party on everyone else. However, if we have other alternatives, as long as they are safe to eat and won’t kill you, those are consumed first, even if they’re absolutely disgusting. Sound fair?

Jeret: I second that.

Weiss: Shocker.

Jeret: What?

Weiss: Nothing, I’m cool with that solution.

Edel: As long as mutants are safe to eat, this sounds reasonable.

Vicente: Very well, then it’s unanimous. If deemed safe to eat by the Canis branches, mutants can be stored for food purposes, but only consumed as an absolute last resort. And if they are taking up room needed for other food, they will be gotten rid of. Also, if they’re growing anything which could spread to other food-

Jeret: Dear God, we’ll be here all day.

Vicente: Alright, I’ll write up the entire rule later and you can make corrections at a later meeting. We have other things to get to anyway.

Estore: So we’re calling them “rules,” huh?

Vicente: There are aspects of the old world I am interested in preserving. Others, however, should be left in the past. For instance, the term “law” has connotations that could cause many people to ignore everything we say, as they see laws in conjunction with the governments which ultimately failed to protect them from anarchy. To most people, the world is seen as lawless, which I can’t disagree with, but that idea is hard to shake in many people’s minds. So… rules.

Jeret: I can get behind that. Rules are usually more flexible, too. And we all know in the world we live in, nothing is concrete.

Edel: Estore? Are you okay?

Estore: Fine, just thinking. So Auriga will be in charge of enforcing these rules, correct?

Vicente: Among other things, yes. So far we only have the basics: don’t kill, don’t steal, etc. but we need to flesh out a few more.

Estore: I think that can wait until we have more control, let’s make that less of a priority. In the meantime, I’ll use my judgment. If someone is doing something wrong, I’ll arrest them for it.

Vicente: No offense, but I don’t think that’s wise. You would be put in a very high position of power then.

Estore: It’s only temporary, and I won’t abuse my power. It’s just the most effective mode of getting things done.

Vicente: Once again, forgive me, but I virtually just met you. I have no guarantees of your character.

Estore: Perhaps not yet, but I would never use my position tyrannically.

Jeret: I support Estore in this. I’ll vouch that he would never abuse power.

Estore: Thank you, Jeret. Vicente, listen. In most cases, I agree with you: this would be a very bad idea. Giving one person the ability to arrest people without following any laws is begging for trouble. However, in this one instance, I see it as acceptable, as I know the person gaining this power won’t use it for his own personal gain or to oppress others. You have my word, and as long as you don’t betray me, I won’t betray you.

Vicente: We’re in an alliance of mutual destruction?

Estore: As you’ve pointed out, we’ve only recently met, and you haven’t quite earned my trust beyond that. I’ve placed a reasonable amount of blind faith in you, you’ve placed a little in me, I’m asking you to take the next step in the cycle.

Vicente: Very well. You have my permission to enforce justice according to your own code of ethics until the rules have been properly lined out.

Estore: Thank you. However, where sentencing is concerned, I think we should all vote on an acceptable punishments for the accused, should we have any.

Vicente: I hadn’t quite thought of that. I had simply assumed we should banish them, but I suppose not all crimes can be dealt with in that way, especially if it’s a minor crime.

Estore: Or a major crime.

Vicente: Pardon?

Estore: There are enough homicidal maniacs out there in addition to the mutants. If someone, say, eats ten people, since we were on the topic of cannibalism, when there was plenty of alternative food available, I would rather not let them loose to feast on everyone else.

Vicente: You’re not suggesting capital punishment?

Estore: Only in extreme cases, but that wasn’t what I was referring to. If a criminal is honestly insane and has done something seriously illegal and immoral, we can have Edel psychoanalyze them and use them as test subjects. If we want to survive, we’re going to have to improve mental health treatments.

Vicente: I’m not sure I like experimenting on the people we’re supposed to protect.

Estore: It’s only if they do something like what I mentioned. You haven’t seen a man in a mascot costume torture and murder your friends while going over the menu for a children’s restaurant. Violent crazies are a danger to themselves and others, while normal mentally unstable individuals are a danger to themselves. Using the former to help the latter makes sense, especially if the former are helped in the process.

Vicente: They may not be, though.

Estore: Vicente, listen up. There are mutants all over the place. There are hordes of zombies. There are murder cults. There are criminal gangs without any checks on them killing anyone they please. There are innocent people dying because they were unlucky, naive, unprepared, or unwilling to compromise their morals just enough to survive. I’m not advocating for us to become monsters, or to not do the right thing, but I am asking everyone here to be a realist. There are things we have to do that would not be acceptable by anyone’s standards in the old world, and these things may make us sick for having to do them. But I trust myself to do what I believe to be right no matter what, and I don’t trust another group of people who are probably out there trying to make their own new government to do the same thing. I want the RA to survive and protect as many people as possible, and that won’t happen if we don’t do what’s necessary, despite not wanting to do it.

Jeret: I’m with Estore.

Weiss: Do me a favor and just tell us when you aren’t. It’ll save us all a lot of time.

Jeret: Shut up.

Vicente: Very well, let’s put it to a vote. All in favor?

Edel: Aye.

Weiss: Reluctantly, aye.

Jeret: Aye!

Vicente: And motion passes. Wonderful.

Estore: I have some work to do. I’ve never actually done any of this before, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to read some police manuals and figure out what the heck I’m doing.

Edel: Yeah, I was about to say…

Weiss: I should probably review that book on physics…

Jeret: I’m the only person here who has actually worked in the field they’re now in charge of.

Vicente: How do you know I haven’t?

Jeret: I don’t think you were a CEO or in charge of any department in government. And you definitely weren’t any kind of world leader.

Estore: You were an accountant.

Vicente: How-?

Estore: I’m in charge of law enforcement now, thought it might be good practice to privately investigate your past for practice.

Weiss: Nice!

Jeret: Already on top of things. Looks like there are at least two people suited for their positions, hopefully everyone here is, too.

Vicente: For all our sakes, I hope you’re right. Meeting adjourned.

End of transcript.

So? Thoughts? Anyone want to read more? Anyone’s interest peaked? If so, like or reblog please!

#story #sci-fi #scifi #stories #estore #book #books #esoteric break #meeting #story extras #book extras #post apocalyptic #post apocalypse #long post #but as my reader count is approximately zero I don't know if anyone will mind #if anyone does mind though I am sorry

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms

Although people who peaked in high school like to act poetic about how great the 2000s were, they werent actually any better than the present day. I mean, it was a time when Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wore matching denim outfits in public and nobody carted them off to an insane asylum.

But Im prepared to make a concession on two points: 1) At least we werent under the administration of a sentient slime mold wearing a bad wig. 2) The 2000s were a golden age for romantic comedies, mostly thanks to Judy Greers tireless efforts to play every heroines best friend. Plus, only like half the jokes were sexist, and there was about an 80% chance pre-pretentious Matthew McConaughey would show up.

Obviously, a betch has to be picky about her rom-comssome are shitty in a good way, but others are best avoided in case someone catches you watching them. To guide your Netflix viewings, here’s a totally objective list of 00s rom coms. If you disagree, which Im sure everyone will, please note that Im not actually forcing you to watch these movies; Im just saying that if you regularly watch any of the bottom five, you have terrible taste.

14.

is considered a modern classic by two groups of people. 1) men in their late 20s with a crush on Natalie Portman and a thriving quarter-life crisis and 2) 8th graders in 2004 under the assumption that any movie that features a Shins track in its soundtrack is automatically deep. To everyone else, its a film about self-absorbed white people whining about their lives until theyre magically fixed by the power of mixtapes. There are approximately a zillion issues with this film, beginning with Zach Braffs complete lack of expression and ending with the fact that you cant cure real depression by listening to The Shins, no matter how clearly superior the soundtrack is to anything else in this film. Worst of all, though, is the fact that Natalie Portman played a manic pixie dream girl so obnoxious I still dream about strangling her character sometimes. Padme deserves so much better.

13.

Im not saying romantic comedies have to make much sense, but s plot is mystifying. Matthew McConaugheys parents are tired of him living at home, so they call in a lady high class escort (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose job is literally seducing men into moving out of their parents basements and unceremoniously dumping them. Because that’s plausible, and not at all fucked up to force your son to fall in love with someone you’re paying. Ridiculous premise aside, you know a movie is terrible when famed nicegirl Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about it.

12. Monster-in-Law

In case you missed this one, and for your sake I hope you did, is about Jane Fonda inexplicably being terrible to Jennifer Lopez, who walks a lot of dogs and is engaged to Fondas son. That right there should tell you all you need to knowI cannot think of one movie that JLo was in that was anything above mild torture, and we’re supposed to root for her character why, exactly? If my son was engaged to a full-time dog walker you can best believe I’d do everything short of actual murder to put a stop to that bullshit.

11.

Im told some people love this movie, but Jesus fucking Christ, is it possible for the two main characters to be any more appalling? Here you have two assholes manipulating the shit out of each other and just generally acting psychotic, all to win a stupid bet with their friends. They really should call it “How To Act Like A Psychopath And Lose Your Dignity.”

10.

Not gonna lie, I fucking adored when I was an impressionable preteen. It had time travel! Mark Ruffalo! A makeover scene! Years later, the movie is still fun to watch, even if it is way too obsessed with the 80s, but the jokes are more cute than funny. Also, why would anyone allow their 13-year-old child to go to a sleepover hosted by a 30-year-old? That is … questionable to say the least. Not to mention Jennifer Garner’s character does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nicegirl and dumps her hot pro bf in favor of her formerly fat friend. Blah blah, true love, I don’t give a fuck. Tenth.

is close to being wrapped in cutesy narration, but it’s far superior. For one thing, it reintroduced the world to Joseph Gordon-Levitts dimples. For another, it manages to be a fairly realistic depiction of a shitty millennial relationship without being super fucking depressing. But thats also kind of the problemrom coms arent supposed to be realistic, theyre supposed to be clich and feel-good, and I don’t care what you say, Summer is a thot. I have literally stayed up at night mapping how she could have possibly met someone worthy of engagement a mere 118 days after she broke up with Tom, and only six days after attending a wedding as his guest (yes I did the mathI told you; this movie keeps me up at night). No matter how you slice it, she had to have cheated on somebody.

Full disclosure: As a Southern betch, Im stoked that takes place right next door. (Dear Hollywood: An entire country exists between New York and LA.) But even though it features Patrick Dempsey as the other man, Josh Lucas with a dreamy Southern accent, and Reese Witherspoon, there are still some issues. Mainly, WTF WERE YOU THINKING, MELANIE? Did you really dump your future president fianc for your secret redneck husband just so “the first boy you kissed could also be your last”? I’ve heard of trying to keep your number down, but damn if this isn’t some delusional shit.

Everyone on planet Earth can relate to having a batshit crazy family, and thats exactly what makes appealing. The two leads are fine, considering they’re not Kate Hudson or Matthew McConaughey, but the extended family is everyones favorite part of the movie. Honestly the most memorable moment to come out of this movie is the “put some Windex on it”pretty good deal for Windex, not so much for the people who actually starred in the movie. However, it does get points for the memorable line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she pleases.”

The plot is pretty flimsy (a Canadian businesswoman has to marry her assistant to avoid deportation) but everyone loves a story where the couple starts out hating each other and eventually falls in love. The cast is what makes this movie pure rom com gold: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty fucking White, who gifted us with the infamous Native American dance scene. Basically, it’s predictable but ridiculous, making it better than some of the other garbage movies on this list.

Admittedly, is probably to blame for some of the chubby man-child/beautiful, svelte woman couplings we see in the media that give men unrealistic beauty expectations (of the types of women they can expect to date), otherwise known as The Beyonc/Jay Z Phenomenon. But whatevs. Its a good movie. Seth Rogen has that whole dad bod thing going onapparently a thing some people are intoand Katherine Heigl was at the top of her rom com game before she pissed off the entire cast of .is actually hilarious, which is enough to make up for the fact that Katherine Heigl appears in it.

Even aside from my undeniable crush on youthful Sandra Bullock, is a quintessential early-2000s romantic comedy. Allow me to explain. 1) It stars an ambitious career woman who dont need no man. 2) But she kind of wants one anyway, and everyone realizes what a catch she is when she puts on lipstick and a dress. 3) Did I mention its plot is literally an extended makeover scene as Bullock goes from bad ass FBI agent to bad ass beauty pageant contestant? I rest my case. Add in some cute female friendships and a scene in which Bullock teaches us how to fend off an attacker, and its basically required viewing every year.

You had to know was going to make the list despite this amazing take-down article of why it’s actually terrible. With approximately a bajillion storylines going on, its hard not to find one you like and get invested, and it doesnt hurt that the film features every well-known British actor under the sun. Im not sure how the movie manages to juggle all the different plots without being confusing and/or boring, but Im not gonna question it. However, this shit is TOO FUCKING LONG. If I have to pop an Adderall just to make it through a damn movie (which I do), you need to send your editors back to the drawing board.

is the perfect example of a rom com thats super clich in theory, but in practice, its so fucking heartwarming it doesnt even matter (ugh). Katherine Heigl plays ultimate nicegirl Jane (in case the fact that her name is “Jane” wasn’t enough of a clue), whos been part of 27 weddings and miraculously hasnt gone broke from buying all the bridesmaid dresses. The dudes are pretty forgettable, but Janes psychotic sister and slutty best friend totally steal the spotlight, elevating the film to truly betchy heights.

P.S. For once, James Marsden plays the leading man, so his preternaturally perfect face gets more screen time, #bless.

Bridget Joness Diary is the ultimate feel-good movie, as in its literally impossible to watch it without feeling your icy soul thaw ever so slightly at the end. The titular character starts out fat, single, and past the age of 30, so basically our worst nightmare. By the end, though, she manages to bang Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, land a better job, and become a self-described wanton sex goddess. If those arent your life goals, you clearly need to start your own self-help journey.