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#the most annoying thing is that i really want to like her -- i think alex kingston is funny and good at acting
variousqueerthings · 8 months
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genuinely may have to make a tag for river song, because I know I'm a minority in the way I feel about her writing and place in the story, and I really feel so very negatively about the character as functioning to be The Most Special Of The Show and how that diminishes every other character (noticeably not created by moffat).
even the episode order of her first appearance -- library right after the doctor's daughter, yes it feels like the latest in a long list of people the doctor sees die and that's how ten's narrative tends to go, but it's only truly affecting because she is going to be more special than any of the others the doctor has witnessed the deaths of, honest, and you can tell because of the screwdriver and because she "knows the doctor's true name" which is hinted at as being only for the most important person in the doctor's life, and the most important person is not just romantic, it's the person the doctor marries Spoilers Wait And See It's All So Romantic Honest
and they're going to get married and it will be sad, promise, so feel sad now, because this is deeper -- deeper than rose, deeper than martha, deeper than donna, deeper than jack, deeper than jenny, deeper than the master, deeper than any classic companion or nu!who companion... and it's deeper because it's been stated to be deeper for some reason or other, which is the same as writing a narrative I guess
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princepiastri · 5 months
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can you keep a secret (2) - LN4
lando norris x russell!reader
george is trying to get used to seeing his friend and sister together.. it's not going very well
(1)
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liked by landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon and 625,492 others
ynusername making it my life mission to annoy as many drivers as possible
username alex is NOT impressed
landonorris delete this
-> ynusername oh shh you look great 👍
username iconic
georgerussell63 can you make it your life mission to annoy everyone but me as you've been doing it my whole life
-> ynusername but you're the most fun to annoy 🙁
-> georgerussell63 charming
---
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liked by ynusername, max_fewtrell, oscarpiastri and 4,174,846 others
landonorris acting like she owns the place
username she really is out here living her best life
pierregasly she may as well at this point, everyone loves her
-> georgerussell63 who is everyone pierre? 🤨
username i wish i was her
georgerussell63 can you bring her back to the mercedes garage please and thank you
-> landonorris no
-> ynusername landonorris excuse you i can speak for myself.. georgerussell63 no
---
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liked by landonorris, georgerussell63, pierregasly and 694,582 others
ynusername winter break things ❄️
username lando getting taken out by a snowball is incredible
max_fewtrell please send more embarrassing photos of lando
-> ynusername yessir 🫡
-> landonorris 😦
username oh to be skiing on a mountain with my boyfriend on winter break
---
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liked by ynusername, alex_albon, oscarpiastri and 4,327,593 others
landonorris snow ☃️
username so this whole post is just lando embarrassing people
ynusername YOU PUSHED ME
-> landonorris i would never
-> georgerussell63 that's enough for me - relationship over
-> ynusername behave
username the violation on max 😭
-> max_fewtrell i've never known peace
---
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liked by max_fewtrell, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 746,326 others
ynusername home for christmas 🎄
username merry christmas!
georgerussell63 he is not welcome here
-> ynusername mum disagrees
-> landonorris i also disagree
-> georgerussell63 hush you
username oh this is so cuteeee
carmanmmundt you guys are so cute!! ❤️
-> ynusername i miss you! 🧡
-> georgerussell63 traitor
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liked by georgerussell63, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 813,256 others
ynusername yes lando and george had to spend christmas together, no it was not okay
username omg i want to know everything
landonorris no arguments was a win for me
-> georgerussell63 you were very much on the limit
username i'm starting to think them hating each other isn't a joke anymore
alex_albon no invite? 🥲
-> ynusername next year albono!!
-> georgerussell63 absolutely not
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disneyprincemuke · 5 months
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bother figures * fem!driver
being the designated baby sister of the grid by default is never as easy as you think it would be
pairings: alex albon x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, george russell x fem!driver, lando norris x fem!driver
warnings: ugh annoying men
notes: this is hardly funny but like i've had to take inspiration from my bother-less life rn so i'm like rly going through it rn LMFAO and it's almost 5am here but as far as i'm concerned, it is night time somewhere so teCHNICALLY i'm not late to an update!
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
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in the almost empty room, she sits in the corner seat as she taps away on her phone a message to reply to her siblings' group chat. she had arrived early for the driver's briefing and decided to take solace in the corner with a cup of hot chocolate.
she was enjoying the peace and serenity with the soft chatter in the background as she tried to lock herself in for the race weekend. that was until she felt a presence looming behind her with an aura she couldn't possibly ignore.
she slowly lifts her head up with a mean glare. she turns her head and meets max's blue eyes and sly grin. "what'cha doin'?"
she puts her phone on her lap as a scowl replaces her dead expression. "what do you want?"
"what are you doing?"
"does it hurt you when you see me and like... not do anything to annoy me?"
"yes, actually. i like talking to you."
"i just wanted to talk to ciara."
"now you can talk to me."
"but i don't really feel like doing that."
"why not? i'm here in front of you and not behind a phone screen. where's ciara?" he looks around, then at her with a beaming smile. "oh, would you look at that? not here."
"because she isn't an f1 driver."
"still not here to talk to you and provide you the joys of interacting with somebody face to face."
"max."
"(y/n)."
"times like these i remember you've got a younger sister."
"what's that got to do with anything?"
"you've mastered the practice of being annoying growing up, obviously. you're such a pro at it."
"how can you say that?" max cries, hand on his chest to feign hurt over her words. "i'm not annoying. please take that back!"
"you realise you made me stop my conversation with my lovely sisters because you saw me sitting alone."
max reaches out and pinches her cheek, grinning when blood rushes to her cheeks. "you were just looking a little lonely. just wanted to make you feel a little accommodated to, that's all."
she stares at him, lips pressed together. "okay, that's actually pretty sweet. i kinda feel bad now.”
“and you should!” max frowns, folding his arms over his chest. he leans back into his seat and rests one leg over the other. “you’re mean, you know?”
“i’m an oldest sister.”
“i’m an oldest brother.”
“i have three younger siblings that made me wanna shave my head bald.”
“that’s kinda crazy.”
“i know,” she sighs tiredly. but she smiles slightly. “but it’s kinda nice. with oscar and logan taking over those responsibilities growing up, we never had a moment of boredom at home.”
“cute!” max smiles. “if i lived with you growing up, you might’ve actually run away for good.”
“i could run away for good now if you’d like.”
“seb wouldn’t like that.”
“you’d have to deal with it. i’ll leave a note on my team’s fridge with your name on it.”
“you need to put the reason underneath. if not, your team will think you’re just naming the most handsomest driver on the grid,” max shakes his head in disappointment. “don’t wanna give off the wrong idea, you know?”
“if you say ‘handsomest’, it doesn’t need a ‘most’ before it,” she says, lips parted slightly at the atrocious grammar. if there’s one thing she can’t stand, it’s most definitely the reigning world champion making simply grammar mistakes. “you should get more sleep.”
“i do! i slept like 10 hours last night!”
“somehow i find that hard to believe with the bags under your eyes.”
“what are you two bickering about?” a hand lands itself on the back of her chair. carlos stands next to her with one hand on his hip. “i could hear you from the hallways.”
“damn, you should really keep it down, max,” she chuckles, sending him a shocked look before she clasps her hands together and rests it on her stomach. “you’re too loud.”
“i’m sure he meant you. you like… swallowed a mic as a kid,” max scoffs. he looks up at carlos. “tell me she was louder than me.”
carlos sighs. “you were loud on the same level, i believe.”
"see? i told you."
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"you're moving in with logan?" alex's jaw drops, the tiktok video no his phone left to play on repeat as the younger girl dropped the news that logan's moving into her apartment. "mate, what?"
she looks up at him with a confused stare. "what?"
"i thought you said you didn't want people talking about you like that?" alex asks, raising an eyebrow. "people will definitely talk if you move in with a man."
she presses her lips together. "you've got a point, i suppose. but logan's my best friend. we've been talking about moving in together forever! since i was 15!"
"i'm just looking out for you, kid. you should really think this through," alex sighs as he slumps his shoulders. of course, he knows just how close she and logan are on a day-to-day basis. but people tend to be quite ruthless with women and he just can't see this going any other way. "you know how people are."
she sighs, shaking her head. "i don't know. i just don't think people would pay attention to that aspect of my life. i still deserve to make decisions that wouldn't be at risk of scrutiny, right?"
she takes a step forward towards alex. she hadn't exactly thought of the public implications that this would cause her. all she knew was that they'd talked about this for years and were ecstatic when logan shyly brought up their conversation from years ago.
"that's the basic that we all hope for," alex frowns. "but you know how people are. you've seen how they treat you just being here. imagine the chaos."
"maybe i'll just keep it under wraps and hope for the best," she suggests with a small smile on her face. "that could work, right? i don't wanna have to put down something i spent forever talking about."
"if you can keep it under wraps, i applaud you," alex smiles, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "and i thought you've had enough of men - why are you still moving in with one?"
"to save money, really," she smiles. "and with kidnapper and stubby at home... i think living with another person is best."
"but doesn't logan like dogs more?"
"yeah, but kidnapper's taken a very weird liking to him. he doesn't wanna admit, but i know logan really likes kidnapper a lot."
"typical logan, really."
"you'd be surprised how much feelings that loser's holding in."
"oh?" alex smiles mischievously. "tell me more?"
"nice try," she scoffs with an eye roll. "i'm not spilling the beans about logan's love life. that's lore you've got to unlock the longer you race with him. just hope he's feeling friendly enough to share, yes?"
"so true," alex frowns. "but what if he's not friendly enough? means you are my only source for material to piss him off with. so, 'fess up!"
"can't betray my best friend like that, i fear," she frowns. though, her smile grows slowly. "but i can be bribed."
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a scowl carves her face as she stares at the roll-in whiteboard with pictures held up against it with sesame street magnets. she sinks into the plastic chair she's given and tilts her head at the men gathered around her.
"and that's why i think you should get the same car as me," lando says simply, recapping the marker in his hands. he turns to her with a proud smile after his presentation.
her lips part. "so that we can matchy and..."
"and fuel rumours," lando repeats. "i'm involved in too little drama this year. it's always 'no wins' this, and 'no podiums' that... i want more."
"that's not a very good argument," she answers slowly, confusion contorting her face that almost makes alex laugh. "i said that i want an easy car, not a supercar. i've made that clear to almost everyone on the grid, yes?"
"yeah, but like," lando whines, throwing his head back as he stomps a foot into the ground. "seriously? you can't do this one thing for me? i'm asking you a favour!"
"to spend big money on a supercar i have to drive like it's made of glass!" she laughs dryly, hands thrown in the air in disbelief. she looks around at the men that have forcefully pulled her out of her garage and put her in this private room, in this plastic chair when she could've been taking a power nap. "is this what i'm here for? you lot are trying to convince me to finally purchase a car?"
"as per logan's request," alex shrugs, sipping on his juice box. "he said you've been putting it off all year. the season's about to end."
"and you listened to that nonce?" she cries, pinching the bridge of her nose. "you guys are absolutely unbelievable. i can't believe i'm wasting my time here!"
george, sitting next to her with a picture in hand, points at the whiteboard timidly. "i really put in a lot of thought about a car you should get," he says softly, looking slightly disappointed that she's caught on a lot faster than they predicted. "can i at least show it to you? i don't have to present."
"aw, george," she sighs, shaking her head. "it's not another supercar, is it?"
"it's not, i promise!" he perks up with a small smile on his face. he turns to lando with a small scowl. "only lando did this presentation with his best interests in mind. alex and i took the task seriously - just hear us out!"
she looks between george and alex, contemplating if the brit is telling the truth. instead of getting up like she had initially planned, she leans back into her seat. "fine. if it's anything like lando's, i'm leaving immediately. i don't care who has yet to present."
"but this ferrari looks so pretty," charles frowns, turning the picture in his hand to show it to her. "it's matte black and all. i thought we could match."
"that is also a supercar."
"he's presenting last, so i really don't care what he says," george mutters, shoving lando away from the whiteboard. he picks up a big bird magnet and pastes his picture between lando and max's proposal. "so, i think you should get this super cute toyota car."
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @inejismywife @vellicora @leilanixx @meadhgbcavanagh @2bormaybenot @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @love4lando @sadg3 @bborra @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts
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worstcharacterpoll · 1 year
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[Image description: A tournament bracket of 32 contenders, labeled "Tumblr's most hated." The matchups on the left are Vriska vs. Pearl from SU; Rex from Victorious vs. Rick Sanchez; Ansem the Wise vs. Gul Dukat; Kylo Ren vs. Kokichi Ouma; Scrappy Doo vs. Sheldon Cooper; Pierre from Stardew vs. Mort from Madagascar; Seraphine from League vs. Heimskr; and Jurgen Leitner vs. Andre Glacier. The matchups on the right are Walter White vs. Light Yagami; Buck Cluck vs. Ross Geller; Bramblestar vs. Starlight Glimmer; Goro Akechi vs. Pariston Hill; Katsuki Bakugo vs. Berdly; Angel Dust vs. the Impostor; Olaf from Frozen vs. Hooty; and Zenos viator Galvus vs. Tony Stark. The bracket is red on a black background. End ID]
Here is the official bracket for the most Hated Character on Tumblr! Each round will last 24 hours, with a 12 hour break in between. Round 1 should start Feb 9, 2023 at 9:00 AM CST.
As a reminder, this tournament is for the characters that you hate the most, so always vote for your least favorite of the two options. The winner will be publicly executed.
FAQ under cut:
Q: Why did you put in x character and not y character? Aren't there more hateable characters from that franchise?
A: I wanted to keep the competition light-hearted, funny, and interesting. I intentionally avoided most shitty parent characters, dictators, characters who were meant to be hated, etc., as well as characters heavily associated with bigotry and sexual assault, and gravitated towards characters that were more divisive in fandom. Exceptions were only made for characters I am familiar enough with and can use my own judgement for. Using Zenos as an example: He is a villain who is very evil and meant to be hated, which I mostly avoided when taking suggestions for things I wasn't familiar with myself. However, he's very divisive between people who think he's a good interesting villain, people who don't think he's a good villain and don't like him in the story at all, and people who want him carnally. Walter White is also meant to be hated, but he has a meme status, and as a villain protagonist I think he's more interesting than most "meant to be hated" characters. Also, there are certain franchises that I simply didn't want to include. If JK Rowling wasn't such a real and horrible political presence, owing all her influence to Harry Potter, I would've definitely put Snape on the poll. As it stands, I don't really want to give HP any attention. TL;DR answer: Because it's funnier that way
Q: But I LIKE that character :(
A: As mentioned before, I specifically gravitated more towards characters who are more divisive rather than universally hated. They are usually more interesting, and there is more variety with those types of characters - you don't have shitty dad character #1 vs. shitty dad character #2. I actually looked for "anti-(character)" tags and discourse about that character when making decisions about who to include. lol If you actually like some of these characters (uh, my condolences), vote against them in their respective matchups.
Q: Is it too late to suggest a replacement?
A: Yes.
Q: Why are you doing this?
A: I feed off of hatred and violence. I want to see who tumblr users REALLY hate.
Q: Why Pearl?
A: It was quite a while ago now so I get it if people don't remember, but Pearl discourse used to be a big thing and people argued that she was irredeemable for many of the things she did early on in the show. If you remember the "Pearl hates the Irish" meme, that was a parody of how much people hated her
Q: Why Hooty?
A: I haven't seen the Owl House but I'm told many people think he's annoying. Also he's voiced by Alex Hirsch and fuck that guy he did my boy Ford so dirty I'm still mad about this
Q: Why Starlight Glimmer?
A: MLP:FiM is another show I didn't really watch but she was a villain who got redeemed and became a main character and a lot of people think her redemption arc was rushed and botched and she actually made a lot of people quit watching the show. One of my close friends really really really hates her and I don't think that's an isolated incident
Q: Why Berdly?
A: Annoying. Personally I think his arc of becoming less annoying was pretty fun but a lot of people still hate him.
Q: Why Bakugo (instead of Mineta)?
A: I actually debated this a lot and held a preliminary poll which Mineta actually won. But then I decided democracy is dead because Mineta really wouldn't be as interesting as Bakugo in this tournament because he's basically universally hated. Bakugo is more interesting because people who hate him REALLY hate him, while people who love him REALLY love him. Kind of like Vriska. I think. I never read Homestuck and I don't plan on ever doing so.
Q: Why Tony Stark?
A: He's a heavily divisive character because he's a war profiteer billionaire with a superiority complex, but the narrative treats him as a morally pure hero. Also, he's MCU Spider-Man's mentor and most of MCU Spider-Man is basically defined by Tony Stark and he's not allowed to be his own character. There's a bunch of other stuff but I didn't watch and I don't care about most of the MCU. Personally I'm a really big Spider-Man fan and I despise him for what he did to Peter Parker but I shall refrain from making this a long rant.
Q: Why did you include characters that you're not familiar with?
A: I didn't want to exclusively have characters from my interests. I wanted a bit of variety. Before the poll started, I accepted submissions for candidates, and basically trusted submitters to send in decent characters. Some of the characters I ended up with may go against the vague guidelines I set for myself, which kind of sucks, but that's how it is now.
Q: This bracket sucks.
A: Make your own tournament then. I'm just some guy making a tournament on tumblr dot com for free. Don't take it too seriously.
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eldritch-nightmare · 9 months
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do the others know about you?
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synopsis: you're just a human dating someone that's... well. you can certainly never introduce them to your friends or family. but do their friends/companions know about you?
a/n: is it a good idea to include every single creepypasta i can think of from the top of my head... no. will i do it anyway? yes, i will. anyways this right here is my pride and joy. i enjoyed writing it, and i'm proud of it, so i hope you guys enjoy it as well.
warnings: possessive behavior in a few, yandere behavior in a few, spoiler alert alex almost kills you but dw there's no character death here.
includes: jeff the killer, eyeless jack, jane the killer [richardson + arkensaw], laughing jack, slenderman, nina the killer, the bloody painter, the puppeteer, clockwork, jason the toymaker, hobo heart, nurse ann, zalgo, x-virus, homicidal liu, ticci toby, tim wright, brian thomas, jay merrick, alex kralie, and jessica locke.
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jeff the killer would more than likely tell the others about you, though mostly just so everyone knows that you're off limits for killing. he also just has this thing where he needs people to know what belongs to him so they know not to touch it, and in his mind, you belong to him so. none are allowed to touch you.
eyeless jack isn't that open about his personal life to others. mostly because he can't remember any of it, but also because he's just a guarded person in general. at most, the only people who know about you will probably be jeff, ben, and maybe sully.
jane richardson doesn't really hide your existence, mostly because she doesn't have contact with the others, so it doesn't matter. everyone of importance knows that you're together, and the government knows as well, so.
jane arkensaw would prefer certain people didn't find out about you, though she may tell some of her close friends about you if she's certain that they will keep your existence a secret as well. then again, it's not like you'll ever come into contact with any of the others so long as she has any say about it.
laughing jack more than likely lets everyone know about you because he literally can't shut up about you. he loves you! people need to know that he is so sickeningly devoted to you! even the kids he terrorizes know about you!
slenderman doesn't have any say on whether or not people learn about you because they're gonna find out anyways. besides, it's better if they did know about you because then they would know that you are off limits for killing. anyone who dares to even try to harm you will understand the pure wrath slender can bring down upon them.
nina the killer wants everyone to know about you. she needs everyone to know that you two are together and that she loves you so very much. she tells everyone all about the dates you two have and the gifts you get each other. it's cute, though it can be annoying at times.
the bloody painter doesn't interact much with the others, so not many of them know. helen doesn't really care if anyone finds out that he's dating you, it doesn't really matter to him. though... he will have some words if any of them try making a move on you or hurting you. you're his muse, after all.
the puppeteer doesn't want anyone to know about you, not even his proxies. you're his. no one else deserves to even know that you exist, so why the hell would he tell anyone about you? at most, the only person who knows about you would be emra because he knows that she won't tell anyone if he orders it.
clockwork doesn't let people close to her, so only a small handful of people would even know about you. she likes that none of the others really knows about you, though a part of her thinks about telling them so they know not to make you a victim. not that you'll ever become a victim, of course. she'll protect you from anything, don't worry.
jason the toymaker wouldn't want anyone to know about you. honestly, his whole thing is making sure that you belong to no one but him. you don't need anyone other than him, so why would he tell anyone about you? the others will know that he has someone in his life already, someone he'd burn the world down for, but they'll never know it's you unless they visit his toy shop.
hobo heart would be delighted if the others knew you were his. you have his heart, so it's only natural for everyone to know that you love each other, right? that's how relationships work. he doesn't really speak much with the others, but when he is around then he'll let everyone know who has his heart.
nurse ann is hardly ever around the others for them to even know about you. the only three to know of your existence is liu, sully, and helen because those are the only people she's close with. they don't need to know about you, it's not like they'll ever hurt you. trust me, she won't let them even if they were to try.
zalgo is just as surprised as everyone else that he's like... together. with you. shocks him every day, to be honest. but yes, he wants everyone to know you're his. he doesn't see you as a weakness, though he knows how fragile humans are so he makes sure you're safe from any that may cause you harm. it also sends a... delightful chill to the core of his existence knowing that everyone knows you belong to him.
x-virus basically needs everyone to know that you're together. not because he's possessive in any way, but because he needs to use this as a way to keep you with him. a tactic to keep you from leaving, if you will. with you dating cody, you're safe from harm. if you ever leave him, then you're no longer under his protection. so... stay with him.
homicidal liu is... hesitant, to put it simply. he doesn't particularly mind if the others find out, but he most certainly won't go out of his way to tell anyone. he doesn't want you involved in the darker parts of his life because he's worried about your safety. there are a few that he simply doesn't trust to know about you. sully, on the other hand, would love for everyone to know about you. he doesn't tell anyone because he respects liu's wishes to keep your existence a secret. though, he can't lie, it does make his heart race knowing that he and liu are the only ones who know about you.
ticci toby neither hid your relationship from people nor did he let anyone know about it. he's a naturally reserved person, so it wasn't like he was super open about himself with the others. in the beginning, the only one to know about you would probably be slender, but that's just because it's like... toby's boss, essentially. of course, those who were paying attention could see the signs.
tim wright would definitely keep your existence secret for as long as possible. the only person who knew about you in the beginning was brian, if we're being honest, and after all hell breaks loose, he'd do everything he could to keep you from getting involved. god forbid if jay or alex found out about you. jay would've used you to find him, and alex would've tried killing you.
brian thomas was open about his relationship with you, so everyone knew who you were. you even offered moral support to everyone filming marble hornets. of course, brian disappeared one day... and then you lost contact with alex... and tim was trying to move on with his life, so you didn't really keep in touch with him either. then jay came around, and... well. that led to a certain hooded figure watching you from afar.
jay merrick was neither open nor reserved about his relationship with you. he probably mentioned you early on in a few tapes, and he maybe even introduced you to alex when they were still friends. you'd probably be mentioned in casual conversation with tim, but ultimately it was a situation where if someone knew, they knew. and if they don't, then they just don't.
alex kralie was more reserved about his relationship with you. his closest friends knew, such as jay and brian, but that was about it. of course, once the operator entered the scene and alex started cleaning up loose ends, your life was endangered. alex... he wanted to kill you. he had to kill you. you suppose it's a good thing jay managed to find you before alex could.
jessica locke is obviously very open about her relationship with you. no need to keep it a secret, y'know? you two are like... the couple, y'know? everyone knows you're dating; you guys don't hide it. why would you two keep it a secret? there's no reason to.
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reidsdaisies · 7 months
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hihihi !! i saw that you wanted requests and i will happily oblige 😭 i was wondering if you could do a like grumpy spencer reid x sunshine/bombshell reader !! i love the whole opposites attract trope. maybe its where like hes having a bad day and just kinda wants to go home but reader turns that frown upside down and flirts w him n stuff !!
𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲
༉‧´ˎ˗ pairing; grumpy!spencer reid x sunshine/bombshell!reader
༉‧´ˎ˗ warnings; maeve doesn’t exist bc this is like right around the beginning of season 8 I’d say, slightly handsy reader ig?, use of pet names ‘baby’, ‘sweetie’, ‘hon’, mention of the one ‘sugar pie’, also I don’t think spencer would growl but i thought it was kinda funny and random. also he’d probably not not want to do a guest lecture but just imagine he’d had a rough week or something and that’s why he’s reluctant to go.
༉‧´ˎ˗ wc; 0.6k
༉‧´ˎ˗ a/n; i also love opposites attract but im not the best at writing it, so this one is like subtle ig and so reader is more of a flirt than a bombshell. but if you or anyone else has a diff request for bombshell!reader pleasepleaseplease send it in bc I’d love to try again and make her an actual bombshell lolz
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cm masterlist ; main masterlist ; request guidelines ; inbox
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The day was already off to a bad start. You could tell from Spencer’s body language and whole demeanor that he just wasn’t having it.
Today, Spencer is supposed to be giving a guest lecture to Alex Blake’s class. So, here you stand outside the classroom, 10 minutes before he’s supposed to go in and prepare, pulling at his arm uselessly.
He’s planted himself to a bench in the empty hallway, head in his hands, hiding his face from you.
“C’mon, Spence, it’s just 30 minutes, a 1 and done thing.” You squat down in front of him at eye level, though it’s slightly uncomfortable even in your most casual heels. You’re currently trying to convince him that it really isn’t that bad, and that he’ll feel more relaxed once he’s gotten into the flow of things.
“It’s not like you’ve never done this before,” sighing, you give up trying to make him look at you and instead sit down besides him, your hand reaching over to rest on his left shoulder. “Didn’t you do something similar with Rossi a couple years ago? And you’re good friends with Blake, so this should be a piece of cake.”
“You say that, but you’ve never even had to think about doing something like this. It’s nerve wracking.” He mumbles into his hands, shaking his head.
When he finally pulls his head away, he’s pouting, giving you an annoyed stare. He shrugs your hand off him, hunching in on himself.
“Sweetie,” you start, taking a deep breath and choosing your next words, “remember the first time this happened? One second you were all frustrated— I mean like at one point I think you even growled at me— then the next you were fine. What did the trick that time?”
He scoffs at the mention of him growling, but he does stop to think about it. You can see him mentally searching for that last time, replaying the events of that afternoon.
He licks his lips in contemplation, opening his mouth before closing it. Taking another glance in your direction, he gives you a quick once over. “I-.. well, you..? I guess.”
“Well, what did I do, hon?”
“Uhm, I don’t know..” Of course you already know he remembers, there’s very few, if any, things he doesn’t, he’s just having a hard time saying it outright.
“C’mon baby, I know you know.”
Even after multiple months of dating you, he’s still getting used to all the nicknames you call him. You’ve called him things such as ‘baby’, and ‘sugar pie’, more times than you’ve called him by his actual name. He knows this for a fact. He counted.
Biting the inside of his cheek, he glances down with a soft smile on his face. “Stuff like that, like calling me ‘baby’ and whatnot. Flirting with me.”
“Aw, look at you smiling,” you tease, gently prodding his shoulder, “I knew deep down, as much as you try to deny, you actually enjoy my flirtatiousness.”
“Hush,” he rolls his eyes playfully, looking up at the ceiling.
“Well then, ‘baby’, what’s it gonna take this time, hm? Maybe a bit more of my flirtatious charm could ease those nerves.”
You wink at him jokingly, eliciting a chuckle from the man beside you.
After a few seconds, you push him to stand, about ready to shove him towards the door as well. “But in all seriousness, you better get your ass in there or I will tell Blake and all your other colleagues about the growling.”
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evanpeterswhoresblog · 11 months
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I love your fics omg you're so talented
Can you make an adult world fic? Alex obviously. Like reader is working with him and Alex keeps pushing vibrators on her skin and laughing n stuff. Then she's sick of his shit right so then she goes to the back and does her thing out there but Alex keeps teasing her and he goes out back with her and he starts to like rub himself on her and put her hand on his boner. Stuff like that. Kinda non con but the reader likes it she just doesn't want to admit it.
Can you make Alex make the reader give him head too? If it's too much just do the teasing. Luv u <3
i tried my best to make this fit your request i hope i did alright, i’ve never really written anything non con i don’t even know if this fits as the category lol but either way hope you enjoy :)
~~~
The Late Shift
Alex (Adult World) x f!reader
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warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, slight non con, oral male receiving, sex toys (not used for sex tho), pretty rough sex tbh, lmk what else if i missed any
summary: as you and alex are doing your last work for the night, things take a different turn than what you expected…
word count: 2.2k
~~~
You’ve never been big on sex. You like it of course. But you’ve never been one to experiment with sex toys or watch a ton of porn. So how you ended up working for a sex shop is a mystery. You were desperate for a job, and Adult World happened to be the closest, easiest place hiring. It’s been an easy job, for the most part. Except for one thing.
Your manager.
Alex is a good person, he’s funny, kind, and when you’re confused on anything he’s a great help. The only issue is how fucking attracted you are to him. You swear he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. His dark curly hair, dark mysterious eyes, he’s perfect. You’ve never wanted a guy more than you want Alex. It makes working with him hard, but so far, you’ve managed. Barely.
Right now, the two of you are unpacking new sex toys for the store. You talk casually, but you focus more of your attention on the crazy shapes and sizes these dildos are. Alex must notice your surprise.
“Would you ever use one of these?” He asks, holding up a glass dildo with patterns on it.
You chuckle. “I think that thing would tear me apart.”
“I’ve seen girls stick way crazier things up their pussy’s, like food and shit,” Alex replies with a laugh.
“So that’s what you jerk off to? Good to know,” you tease.
“Yeah, I bet you wanted to know. Just so you know, ff I go searching tomorrow night and find a video of you sticking a cucumber up your pussy, I’ll cum so hard.”
You feel your cheeks go red at his comment but keep your composer. Sometimes Alex says things that make you a little uncomfortable, but you know it’s all jokes so you don’t care too much. Plus, it gives you hope that maybe he has the same feelings for you.
“Hey y/n, get a look at this,” Alex says.
Before you can look you feel the vibrations on your skin. You flinch and push Alex’s hand away, but he keeps putting the vibrator on you. He’s laughing, you’re not. You don’t find his distractions entertaining right now. After a few seconds of this you slap the vibrator out of his hand and glare at him.
“Stop Alex, I’m trying to work,” you snap. He keeps laughing and with each second that passes you become more annoyed.
“It’s just a joke calm your tits. I’m the manager dude it’s not like we’re gonna get in trouble for talking,” he replies.
You huff. “Just, stop okay.”
“How about you stop being such a buzz kill,” he mumbles under his breath.
You ignore his comment and continue to unpack. Things are calm for a few minutes, before Alex gets his hands on another vibrator. He presses it against your cheek this time. You immediately slap his hand away again, but this time you stand up and try your hardest not to lose your cool. He looks up at you, about to speak, but you cut him off before he can.
“I’m gonna take this box out to the garbage,” you say, picking up an empty box that once contained a number of dildos and walking to the back door without listening to his reply.
You wonder why he’s being so difficult tonight. He typically talks a lot during your shifts together, but this is different. Usually, his jokes and comments aren’t too bad, why’s tonight different? You get to the back of the store quick and stuff the box into the dumpster. When that’s done you lean back on the brick wall, a sigh escapes your lips at the silence, it’s nice not hearing Alex’s voice. You grab your phone out of your pocket and start to text your friends back.
Sadly, your peace is interrupted after only five minutes. Alex calls your name from the door, telling you to come back in and help him finish before you guys have to close up. You silently curse but follow his instructions. You feel a bit bad; you know he’s not trying to make you upset, but he just is. You promise yourself you’ll try your hardest to tolerate him, after all you only have an hour left till the store closes. You can suck it up.
You’re walking down one of the aisles when Alex appears in front of you. You give him a small smile. You feel worse looking at his innocent face. Maybe you were overreacting.
“Sorry for walking out, I’m just tired and I want to go home,” you apologize.
“I get it, I’m sorry if I was being annoying, I really like making you laugh. Sometimes I try too hard,” he replies with a small laugh.
You smile. “That’s sweet.”
“You think so?”
You begin to walk toward him, toward the last unopened boxes. “Of course, I’m very flattered you enjoy my laughter. But anyway, how about we speed through the last of the boxes and go home early? You think they’ll notice?”
“Probably not,” he answers.
You’re close enough to him that you expect him to move aside so you can go to the unfinished work, but he doesn’t. Instead of moving he simply stares down at you, a strange look in his eyes. You know that look, you’ve looked at him like that. He wants you. If it were any other day, you’d be ecstatic. But right now, all you want to do is finish the tasks and go home. You look around him, trying to signal that you want him to move. He doesn’t.
“So, let's get this shit over with,” you say, clear as day about what you want.
He still doesn’t move. “You know y/n, you’re more fun when you aren’t taking this job seriously.” He steps closer to you, only a foot now separating the two of you. “I want that version of you right now.”
You laugh awkwardly. “Come on Alex, I just want to go home.”
“I’ll be quick, but I assumed you wanted something that would last longer.”
He puts his hands on your shoulders and backs you up against a shelf. Your heart rate quickens, is this real? You stare into his eyes, a confused expression on your face. You’ve had dreams of this happening, but in all of them you wanted it, right now you don’t exactly want it.
“Alex...” you say. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t play coy, I’ve seen the way you look at me. I know you want this too,” he answers, his lips curling up into a devilish smirk. He presses his body against you and you feel how hard he is, it makes you gasp. “I want it really bad.”
You don’t know what to say. Part of you wants to push him off you and run out of the store, but another part of you wants to see where this goes. You feel him start to rub himself against your leg, it makes you feel paralyzed. He’s too strong to push away, you think. It would be useless to try. So, you realize your fate lies with what Alex chooses to do.
He leans his head down, softly pressing his lips against yours. You can’t deny how long you’ve wanted this to happen. You just wish it wasn’t happening right this second. Nevertheless, you kiss him back, your mind adjusting to the knowledge that this is going to happen. You let him grope your breasts, squeezing and massaging them through your shirt. You even let him scoop you up in his arms and carry you to one of the desks in the back office. Though, you didn’t have much of a choice to start with.
He lays you down on a desk, his lips moving feverishly with yours. You can’t keep it together. His lips are moving so aggressively, they’re so soft. He bites down on your bottom lip and you groan into his mouth, the pain making that feeling between your thighs grow. He pulls his lips away and starts to kiss down your neck, leaving hickeys behind as he takes your delicate skin into his mouth. You throw your head back and moan, he pushes your knees apart and fills the space with his body.
“Alex... are there any cameras back here?” You ask, your breath ragged as he sucks a spot near your collar bone.
“Course not,” he answers in a hushed tone.
“Are you sure we should be doing this? What if someone comes in?” You’re second guessing this, maybe you should’ve protested more. The last thing you want is to have a customer come in and catch this.
“Just be quiet y/n it’s fine,” he responds.
You’re about to speak again, but that’s when he starts to rub one of his hands up your thigh and right between your thighs. You moan again as he starts to rub you through your pants. He knows exactly what he’s doing and it makes you feel like your body is floating.
He trails his kisses back up your neck until he catches your lips again. You kiss him hard, your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. You buck your hips; you need more pressure. Alex understands this and presses his fingers harder on your jeans right over your clit. You’re so wet, you need him. You’ve never felt such desire for another human being.
“I want you to do something for me,” Alex says against your lips.
“Anything,” you reply without thinking, you’re too wrapped up on how good he’s rubbing you.
He pulls back and you open your eyes, he’s unbuckling his belt. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he pulls down his jeans, his hard cock very noticeable. He grabs your hands and pulls you forward till you’re off the desk. You’re confused until he pushes you down onto your knees, his crotch right in front of your face. You look up at him, he brushed a hand though your hair.
You don’t really want to suck his dick, but you’re too afraid of him forcing you that you don’t object. Instead, you pull him boxers down and stoke him gently. He sighs in pleasure and continues to brush his fingers through your hair. You don’t waste any more time. You start by slowly swirling your tongue around his tip, enjoying the way he whispers your name. After that, you lick down his shaft, you don’t like when dicks are dry down your throat.
Soon enough you’re deepthroating him, practically gagging on his dick. He’s a moaning mess, both his hands tangled in your hair. You don’t mind it as much as earlier. You even enjoy certain parts. Like how when you move your tongue as you suck, he’ll praise you, or how when you tighten your lips around him, he groans. With each sound that leaves him your panties become more and more wet.
When he’s close to cumming he pushes you off him, telling you to take your clothes off and lay back down on the desk. You do exactly as he says and before long, he’s back between your thighs, leaving wet kisses all over your body. You can’t handle how much you need him. The heart beat between your legs is all you can think of, and when he brushes his tip between your soaked folds you almost moan.
You grip his shoulders, your eyes locked on his. “Alex just fuck me already.”
“Someone’s needy,” he mumbled, his tone sending tingles throughout your body. He positions his tip at your entrance and leans down to connect your lips. “But your wish is my command.”
With that, he begins to fuck you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your nails digging into his shoulders. He thrusts at a pace that makes your toes curl. It’s so hard, so deep, so perfect. The desk rocks so hard you think the legs might break. You don’t even care. All you care about is that Alex doesn’t stop, not for anything.
He does though, but for a good reason. He pulls out of you and before you can even question it, he grabs you, flips you, and bends you over the edge of the desk. He resumes his thrusts, and you can’t help but moan loud enough that anyone in the store would be able to hear. You almost scream when he grabs your hips and pulls you back, his dick hitting right on your cervix over and over again. It’s almost too much for you to take.
He leans down after a few minutes and whispers in your ear, “You feel so fucking good y/n, it’s so hard not to cum.”
“Alex,” you moan.
“Are you close baby?” He breathes.
“Yes, please keep going,” you answer.
In minutes you cum so hard you swear you see stars. You moan Alex’s name so loud you’re sure everyone in the building next door can hear you. It’s the best feeling of your life. Your legs give out, Alex has to hold you up. Your nails dig into the desk, your whole face turns red, and you feel those orgasmic pulses throughout your entire body. He cums soon after you, pulling out and spilling his seed onto your back. You’re grateful, you forgot to tell him you weren’t on the pill.
“Well,” he says as you’re both still trying to catch your breath. “That was definitely better than unpacking those boxes.”
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amirasainz · 8 days
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hey! do you think you could write something where charles starts dating baby sainz after alex, and for a change she really doesn’t like baby sainz, or even a random oc ex gf of charlie and he gets annoyed whenever anyone says anything bad about baby sainz, and just wants her to himself? Thank you! ❤️
Ok so first things first. This is just a fic and not supposed to be hate towards Alexandra.
Now please enjoy reading and don't hesitate to send requests.
-XoXo
The better Girlfriend
The breakup between Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mleux was far from friendly. Their relationship had been plagued by cheating rumors, and the truth eventually came to light. Alexandra, a 21-year-old art history student, had kissed another guy during a girls’ night out. When this news reached Charles, their relationship came to an end
But Alexandra’s behavior during their relationship had already caused friction. She openly expressed disdain for Charles’s job in Formula 1, even going so far as to claim it wasn’t a real sport on live TV. Her rudeness toward fans and unreasonable demands put her in an unfavorable light. Charles endured his worst F1 season while they were together, and the media and fans didn’t hesitate to express their disapproval of her.
When Charles finally broke up with Alexandra, he received overwhelming support from the F1 paddock. His fellow drivers rallied around him during this difficult time:
Lando played games with him to keep his spirits up.
Pierre offered a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.
Max made sure Charles ate proper meals.
Carlos helped him navigate the PR drama.
And his “Grid Dads”—Sebastian, Lewis and Fernando offered invaluable advice.
In the midst of the drama, Charles found solace in the camaraderie of his fellow racers, proving that the racing world extends beyond the track and into the bonds of friendship and support
But there was one person, that helped him the most. Amira Sainz, the unsung hero in Charles’s life. While others lent their support, it was Amira who stood by him, often without uttering a single word. During Charles’s tumultuous relationship with Alexandra, Amira remained an enigma—a girl he wasn’t allowed to befriend due to Alexandra’s jealousy. But now, free from those constraints, their paths converged.
From strangers to friends, and then lovers—their connection felt destined. The media dubbed them the “it-couple,” and fans followed their story with respectful fascination. Initially, Carlos wasn’t thrilled, but time softened his heart. With Amira, Charles discovered a happiness he’d never known before—a beautiful girl who became his world.
And Charles reciprocated her love in every possible way. Each morning, breakfast in bed; after races, flowers to brighten her day. He listened to her fears and troubles, making her feel cherished and protected. But Amira wasn’t just a passive recipient; she left post-it notes in his luggage, their apartment, and even his car. She comforted him after bad races, helping him navigate his emotions. Together, they shared a dog—a symbol of their bond.
Their love wasn’t hidden; they proudly displayed it online. Fans embraced them as the “it-couple,” and Charles and Amira reveled in their shared journey. In a world of engines and speed, their love story unfolded.
Alexandra, Charles Leclerc’s ex girlfriend, stumbled upon one of their date posts. What she saw ignited a fire within her—a seething rage that drove her to spend the next five hours stalking the couple and dissecting their relationship. But Alexandra’s fury didn’t stop there; oh no, she took it a step further. In a desperate attempt to reclaim her own narrative, she created not one, not two, but seventeen fake “Alexandra and Charles forever” accounts on Instagram.
The internet, however, is a merciless place. Within minutes, eagle-eyed users ridiculed her fabricated accounts, exposing the charade for what it was. Alexandra’s attempt to rewrite history crumbled under the weight of public scrutiny. Perhaps it was a desperate cry for attention or a futile bid to regain control, but either way, the digital world had spoken: “Fake news!”
And so, as the engines cooled down and the F1 tracks took a breather during the summer break, Alexandra found herself caught in a whirlwind of her own making. Meanwhile, Charles and his new love interest, Amira Sainz, continued their blissful journey, oblivious to the storm brewing behind the screens
The pitlane buzzed with anticipation as Alexandra, fueled by anger and resentment, strode toward the Ferrari garage. Her eyes blazed with determination, and the photographers snapped away, capturing her every move. Lando and Max exchanged shocked glances—what was she doing here?
The Ferrari team, despite Carlos impending departure, held a special place in their hearts for the Sainz siblings. Their camaraderie and dedication had left an indelible mark. But now, Alexandra—the wicked witch, as some whispered—had infiltrated their sanctuary.
As she stepped into the garage, the once-happy atmosphere vanished. The air crackled with tension. Alexandra’s gaze swept over the familiar red cars, the tools, the mechanics—all part of the world that had embraced Charles and Amira. She clenched her fists, vowing to tear apart the relationship that had blossomed in this very space.
If it was the last thing she ever did.
And so, the pitlane witnessed a battle of emotions—a collision of love and hate, fueled by jealousy and wounded pride. The engines roared, but the real drama unfolded in the hearts of those who watched.
She looked around at the quiet garage and immediately spottet Charles and his plaything. The tensions were high as she strutted towards them. "Charles" she tried to say in a seductive voice. When she went to hug him and kiss his cheek, he stepped away. "Alexandra, what are you doing here?" he questioned sternly. "What? Can't I see my favorite athlete" she harshly asked. "Does the stupid bitch not allow you to talk to other women?" She turned to Amira. "No wonder she doesn't, I mean look at her. I truly don't see what you see in her. She dresses like a slut. I'm sure she also sucks your dick like one and-"
“Enough!” Charles’s voice boomed, cutting through the tension. “Don’t you DARE disrespect my girlfriend. You destroyed our relationship. You used me.”He stepped closer to her, eyes blazing with anger. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll never step a foot in the paddock.” With that, he turned away, leaving Alexandra standing humiliated in the middle of the room.
The air crackled with the aftermath of his words—a collision of emotions, hurt, and the finality of a chapter closing.
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phoenixkaptain · 2 months
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I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -
But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!
Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?
Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!
Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.
Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++
Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game
Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.
Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her
Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-
Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?
Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny
I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.
Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.
In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!
Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)
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skylarsblue · 1 year
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this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.
100% projecting here
pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).
i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.
✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦
(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)
✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦
✧Simon Riley✧
He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.
He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.
He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!
After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.
"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"
He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.
If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.
He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.
"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."
Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)
A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.
Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.
✧Johnny MacTavish✧
Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.
Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.
He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.
"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"
If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.
Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.
If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.
If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.
He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.
"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."
Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)
Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)
✧John Price✧
He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.
Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.
He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.
"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."
Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.
Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.
"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."
He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.
If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.
Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!
If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.
John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!
✧Kyle Garrick✧
Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.
He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.
"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."
Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.
If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.
Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.
"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."
Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.
He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.
Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.
He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.
If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)
✧Alejandro Vargas✧
Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.
You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.
If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.
He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.
"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."
He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.
Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.
If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)
Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.
Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.
"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"
Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.
✧Rodolfo Parra✧
Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.
He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.
Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.
He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.
"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."
He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.
He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!
Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.
"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."
Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.
If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)
If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.
(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")
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bitchinbarzal · 8 months
Text
see you again | J.Hughes
Tumblr media
summary: all he wants to do is see you again.
-
Jack was weirdly quiet the whole morning. From coming down to breakfast late, to not talking when everyone was debating their plans for the day and when they eventually agreed on a boat day he just shrugged and walked up to his room.
“What’s up with him?” Luke asks, the question is directed at Alex who’s sharing a room with Jack.
Alex shrugs “He was freaking out this morning when he woke up, like he was looking for someone in the room? He was so annoyed I woke him up”
Everyone frowns, confused by the behaviour and thinking of a reason until Cole speaks
“You know it’s his first time back here since she left”
Everyone looks down the table at him, a slight look of disbelief he’d say that and Cole says “What?! It is! I’m just saying that could be why he’s being sketchy”
Quinn rolls his eyes and adds “Jack’s fine, he’s probably just moody or something girl troubles from back in Jersey. He’s finally come to terms with it so don’t bring it back up”
The oldest brothers stern voice told everyone what they needed to know — don’t bring it up.
The rest of the day consisted of Jack sulking around while everyone tried their best to ignore it.
His brothers were becoming slightly worried about him, sharing glances through the day while his friends were trying to listen to Quinn and leave it alone.
They had docked the boat back up and Jack made his way back to the house immediately, not so much as sharing a glance with anyone.
After doing what they had to do with the boat Trevor decided to follow him into the house, finding him in the basement.
Jack was facing the wall where the cinema projected would usually play movies onto, the wall however now was black alongside most of the room.
“Hey man, you good?”
Jack doesn’t turn around when he answers “I saw her in my dream”
“What?”
“Y/N, i saw her in my dream last night and I got real pissed off with Alex because he woke me up and now I can’t see her anymore”
Trevor sighs and sits next to his friend on the couch “She’s gone Jack”
“I know that”
“You gotta-“
Jack turns to his friend and let’s put a frustrated noise “I know she’s gone! I know that Trevor but I miss her, she just left and I have never gotten over—“
Jack’s rant was interrupted by his friend throwing his hands down on the couch “She’s gone Jack, there was nothing we could do that night”
Jack sinks back into the couch cushions “It was my fault, we fought”
Trevor sighs, sitting on the arm of the couch. That night haunted everyone for months after it happened. You and Jack had fought about a girl that Trevor had brought to the lake house, your jealousy got the best of you at the party the boys had thrown and you guys had a fight.
You ended up storming off but being in the middle of nowhere you decided to drive.
It was stupid and Jack went after you immediately, only to find your car sitting in a ditch down the street where you’d crashed into a tree.
Jack left Michigan soon after that, he didn’t go to the funeral, he didn’t meet your parents for dinner when they flew to jersey to watch him play.
He felt so guilty.
His trauma had blocked you from his mind so much so he had started to forget things about you, like your smile, the colour of your eyes or the perfume you wore.
He was forgetting you. He didn’t want to forget you.
“Jack it was nobody’s fault, shit happens she wouldn’t want you to be this upset”
“I don’t know what she’d want because I can’t really remember much about her” Jack mumbles, playing with his fingers.
“She was your best friend” Trevor started “she loved you, weirdly she chose you over me but whatever I’m not salty”
Jack laughs at that, you’d met at a party in Plymouth when the boys were in the USNTDP and Trevor spent the entire night flirting with you only to go home with Jack.
The two spent the night talking about you, joined by the rest of the house later who joined in on the chat. From funny first meeting stories, remembering your weird quirks and Luke telling the story of the time you accidentally kissed him good morning infront of the Hughes’ because you were so tired and mistakened him for Jack.
Jack felt good for the first time, like he knew you better but it wasn’t enough.
When everyone had fallen asleep Jack got up and walked upstairs, grabbing his keys and getting in his car.
He sat there staring out the front window gripping onto the steering wheel while looking at the road, he can’t see the brick wall that was there now, where your car had tipped.
His hands fall down to the ignition and the engine comes alive. He flips down the sun visor, the picture of you smiling sweetly staring back at him.
“I’m coming baby, I’ll see you real soon”
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oliversrarebooks · 3 months
Note
The amount I would like to see Jameson and Alex have a high society slap fight is more than a little lol
Masterlist
March 1920
tw: mind control, captivity, references to abuse
"Good evening, Lord Alexander!" said Miriam as she opened the door, beckoning him inside nervously.
"Good evening, Miriam. You seem agitated -- is everything all right?"
Miriam sighed with a smile. "Madam's overworking herself again, sir. It's not my place to overstep as her thrall, but I'm concerned about her health. I'm glad you came to call. She listens to you, sir."
"Do you really believe that? I don't," said Lex, chuckling. "Regardless, I don't think you're overstepping. I think it's very good for you to care for your madam. Lily needs people looking out for her."
Miriam beamed like she'd won the lottery. "Thank you, sir."
Lex allowed Miriam to lead him into the parlor. He was quite fond of Lily's latest thrall. She had remained sharp under the enthrallment so far -- no surprise, given how skilled Lily was at her craft. A good sign for her future, he thought.
"Oh, Lex, there you are," said Lily, who was lounging in an undignified manner on the couch, surrounded by magazines and bits of yarn and fabric. "I'm glad you were able to pull yourself out of your book-cave long enough to come calling. I've been drowning in work lately, and I need someone to socialize with who isn't a thrall I'm hypnotizing, or I might lose my own mind."
"Rough week, then," he said, settling down in a plush chair. Nearby, Miriam sat down in a chair in the corner, taking up an embroidery project.
"It's been one thing after another. I think the long winter has given everyone cabin fever, and they've all collectively decided that they're dissatisfied with their perfectly functional thralls. You won't believe what I've had to put up with." 
"Such as?" Lex leaned in.
"The most ridiculous complaints. 'He taps his foot while he reads.' 'She turns the radio on too loud.' As though they need me to solve that," she said with a frustrated groan. "The worst one was 'his human food smells bad.' I turned him away -- 'sorry, sir, I can't do anything about the fact that your human thrall requires human food.'"
Miriam made a strange noise of distress.
"What is it?" Lily asked.
"Does my human food smell bad?"
"Oh, no, of course not! You haven't done a thing wrong, Miriam. It's the vampires who are being unreasonable."
"It's awful that they treat their thralls like that," said Lex. "What ever happened to treating your thralls with dignity?"
"Exactly, you understand. Speaking of which -- " Whatever Lily was about to say was cut off by the doorbell ringing. "Oh, for crying out loud, who could that be? I cleared my schedule today."
Lex, having an uneasy feeling about this, followed Lily to the door, and was none too happy to see the perturbed visage of Jameson, a vampire he truly despised. He was gripping a smaller man by the shoulders, an unfortunate thrall who had clearly been crying.
"And what do you want?" said Lily bluntly.
"Is that any way to treat a customer?" he said.
"You're not a customer until you tell me what you want and I agree to it," she said. "And in case you didn't know, asking me to work on such short notice will cost you an extra 20%."
"I'm aware," he said. "I'm at my wit's end with this thrall. He's supposed to be fully mindwiped, but he keeps sniffling and making the most obnoxious whining noises."
"What on earth did you do to that poor man?" asked Lex. He'd never been able to stand the company of vampires who preferred their thralls to be little better than cattle, especially if the vampire in question abused their innocent humans. That dislike was mutual -- vampires like Jameson rarely mingled with those like Lex who believed they had an obligation to give their thralls a good life.
Jameson scowled at Lex. "It's none of your business, is it? I'm here to make a business transaction with Miss Lily and certainly not with you."
"Fine," she said with an annoyed huff. "Let me see your thrall. You can sit in the parlor until I'm done."
The thrall's eyes held a spark of recognition when he looked at Lily. Considering what a thorough job she did with the mindwipes -- preferring not to have to do it twice, and trying to minimize the thrall's suffering -- he must have been under a lot of stress to wake up enough to regain memories. Damn that Jameson.
No doubt, Jameson would rather not deal with Lily at all, but although he was in possession of a strong vampiric aura, his enthralling abilities were known to be below average. He had no choice but to hire an expert to work with his thralls, lest he destroy their minds utterly and leave himself responsible for a comatose bloodbag.
As Lily took the thrall into her workroom, Jameson sat down in the parlor with a sour look on his face. In her corner, Miriam was staring at him with a haunted expression. Lex wasn't sure if she actually knew Jameson, or if she saw how he treated his thrall and rightfully regarded him as a threat. He gave the poor girl a look as if she were lower than a bug, and she shrank further into her seat.
The humane and sympathetic thing to do would be to send Miriam out of the room until Jameson left. But Lex, annoyed at Jameson's rotten attitude and the interruption of his social call, couldn't help but do something a bit petty that he knew would annoy the other vampire.
He pulled up a chair next to Miriam. "This embroidery you're working on is very intricate. Can you show me your work?"
Miriam smiled. At least she seemed comforted by having Lex nearby, distracting her from the vampire glaring daggers at her. "Oh, yes, sir, of course," she said, showing him the pattern she'd carefully cut from a magazine. "It's a skirt with flowers and birds all up and down it. The original pattern has green leaves and blue birds, but I had this lovely rust-colored fabric to use, and I thought it would go very well with autumn leaves and red birds, like cardinals."
"You have a good eye for color, Miriam, and it's coming along splendidly," said Lex.
"Thank you, sir, I truly appreciate that!"
"Hmph." Jameson sniffed.
"Is there some problem?" said Lex.
"I just think it's a terrible shame that a vampire so gifted with conditioning chooses to keep her thrall in such disgraceful condition," he said, with a pointed glance to Miriam, who clutched Lex's arm fearfully. "She could easily erase her thralls and keep them in a far more agreeable state where they don't require entertainment or attention, and yet, she chooses this. You'd think her sire would have taught her better."
Miriam gripped Lex's arm hard enough to hurt, and Lex regretted that he'd provoked Jameson instead of sending her out. "Sir -- if I displease you --"
"You haven't displeased anyone, Miriam," Lex said, patting her hand in a comforting gesture. "You're an excellent thrall, and your madam also thinks so. She tells me all the time. You don't need to listen to what Lord Jameson says."
"Of course you'd think that," said Jameson. "That's about what I'd expect from a thrall-screwer."
Lex glared at Jameson with a simmering rage. "I'd suggest you be quiet, lest you say something you'll regret."
"Why would I regret speaking the truth?" said Jameson. "We all know you fell for that nasty little blond thing. A revolting thrall, and no better as a vampire, if you ask me."
Lex's temper flared. He was obviously baiting Lex for a confrontation, looking to stir shit for his own amusement. Lex really should ignore the meaningless squawking of an ignorant asshole just trying to get a rise out of him.
Instead, he stood from his chair, crossed the parlor in a flash, and slapped Jameson across the face as hard as he could. 
Jameson looked stunned for a moment, the bright red mark emblazoned across his cheek, then started to laugh. "And I thought you considered yourself civilized! Well, if that's how you like it..." There was a flash in his eyes as he flared his vampiric aura, and Lex could feel it, like rodents skittering along his limbs and gnawing at his flesh, like a thousand beady red eyes boring into him. The sensation made the hair on the back of Lex's neck stand up.
It was an aura that could easily subdue a lesser vampire, but Lex hadn't survived this long in this city by allowing any upstart vampire to best him, especially with his honor at stake. He took a deep breath, pushing his own aura outward in an inexorable wave. He was a storm on the ocean, waves and surf pounding, wooden ship cracking beneath your feet, the feeling of being pulled down into the dark and briny depths with no hope of escape.
Jameson furrowed his brow and intensified his efforts, but this was a battle he could not win, and it was so satisfying when his facade cracked and he showed his first sign of fear --
-- at least until both of them were swept off their feet by an even more powerful force of will.
"Hey!" Lily bellowed from the doorway. "What the devil do you two think you're doing?"
Lex looked at her sheepishly, not wanting to admit he'd been having a pointless tussle with with her customer. Jameson primarily looked annoyed that their fight had been interrupted.
"You two were laying it on so thick that I could feel your auras in my workroom. I don't know how you expect me to put a thrall under in those conditions." She went to comfort Miriam, who clung onto her skirt. "And you've upset my Miriam."
"Sorry, Lily," said Lex, and mostly meant it. At least, he did very much regret upsetting Miriam, who didn't deserve to be caught in this crossfire at all.
Lily sighed. "Lex, take Miriam to the kitchen and help her calm down," she said. "And as for you, Lord Jameson, you will sit quietly until my work is done, and I'm tacking on a surcharge for that little outburst."
"You can't be serious," he said, slamming his hands on the table. "It was Lord Alexander who --"
"Then you're free to take your thrall and leave."
Jameson settled back down onto the couch with a huff, like a petulant child. "Fine. Do what you will."
With that settled, Lex ushered a still-frightened Miriam into the kitchen as Lily returned to her work. "I'm sorry for being so sensitive, sir," she said.
"Don't be, not at all. I'm sorry for provoking that rat Jameson." He handed Miriam a handkerchief, which she used to wipe tears from her eyes. "You can relax here. He won't bother you any more. Now, is there any kind of snack you might like?"
"Sir, you don't need to --"
"It's my pleasure. The least I can do." He pulled out a chair and beckoned her to sit. "What would you like?"
"May I have strawberries with sugar, sir?"
"Certainly," he said, relieved that she asked for a dish he knew how to prepare, his knowledge of human cooking spotty at best. He found the fresh strawberries in the icebox, and made quick work of cutting them up and sprinkling them with sugar. 
Miriam's eyes lit up as she dug into the  sweet berries. "Thank you very much, sir!"
Lex settled down into the chair across from her as she ate. She was still a fairly bright thrall, but he knew that his sire would have her in his sights sooner rather than later. Lily would wipe her memories of the trauma, and her deterioration would begin. A slow moving tragedy, one he'd seen play out quite a few times by now.
Even so, she was certainly in a better position than that man in Lily's workshop. Her re-enthrallment of him would no doubt be a mercy compared to being lucid in Jameson's grasp.
What must it be like...?
He pushed the errant thought from his mind, not wanting to stir up dusty memories of his own enthrallment, so many years ago now.
Masterlist
@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot
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heyidkyay · 1 year
Text
Who can say no to bridezilla? |
Part one
I had to write another after seeing the love the last one got, thank you btw! I've actually missed writing a fair bit so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
> With this one, I started and just couldn't stop, so I might make it into a couple of parts? Maybe? Idk, let me know if that's something anyone would want:)
Summary: With no date to your sister's wedding, what are you to do? No worries though, she's already got it covered, well, sort of...
Masterlist
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"It's just annoying. I mean- don't get me wrong, I'm proper chuffed you're finally tying the knot and all, but it's just a shitty situation.” I huffed defeatedly as I leant up against the cabinet, watching as a grey sky crept by my kitchen window. 
“I know,” I heard my sister sigh, her voice soft even through the phone’s tinny speaker. “And I’m sorry, but you know what mum’s like, y/n/n. She’ll be devastated when she finds out you’re coming alone! That, and the fact that if you don’t end up bringing a plus one, all of my wedding photos will turn out uneven… And I really, really need this day to be perfect! I want you to think its perfect! To enjoy it! Not just be sat there on the sidelines, watching.”
I closed my eyes for a long moment as I ran a hand through my hair. It was in dire need of a good wash, but between my job and the stress of having recently moved, I hadn’t found the time to even sit down. Still, I could understand where my sister was coming from, and I really wanted her to have the picture perfect day she’d always dreamt of too. But, we both knew that she was laying it on thick now, and with me being the eldest, we both also knew I’d do just about anything to make her happy. This though, was a big ask.
“Listen, yes things ended badly between Alex and I, but now that it’s all finally over, I just don’t think I have it in me to try and force myself to find someone else to replace him. Not yet, anyway.”
Alex, being my most recent ex. We’d parted ways about three months ago now- though ‘parted’ definitely wasn’t the term I preferred to use. But how else was I supposed to describe him cheating and me having to walk in on it happening? With my best mate of all people, too. 
Yeah, that hadn’t been the easiest of transitions, especially since I’d also been flat-sharing with the pair of them.
But my sister knew all of this already.
“Mum will just have to worry about me being lonely a little longer, y/s/n, and I'll just have to prepare myself to deal with her constant fussing over me for the entire evening.” I attempted to cajole, not wanting to outright deny her. “As well as the rest of my life, I suppose.” I added unhelpfully under my breath.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mum, God, she was just about the only person who truly understood me. That, and she’d done absolutely everything within her power to make sure that her kids had gotten everything she'd never had. She was an utter saint. But saying that, she could also tend to be a tad bit… overbearing. 
“Ah come on, she won’t be that bad!” My sister fired back before she then paused, as though she’d only just understood the words she’d spoken. I couldn’t not let out an airy chuckle when she sighed, “Alright, fair enough, she will be. But! If you just ask someone along, you won’t have to spend my entire wedding day avoiding her!”
I groaned, rubbing at my face.
“It’s been months since I ended things with Al- mum knows that, babe. I’ve had her on the phone almost every day since, hassling and FaceTiming me constantly to make sure I’m still alive. She even sends down little care packages in the post! Care. Packages. Y/s/n.”
I actually looked over towards the most recent arrival which had awoken me early the previous morning. It was still where I’d left it, chucked beside the foot of the sofa, barely opened. 
Again, I adored the woman, but she tended to be a fair bit dramatic. I could really see where my sister got it all from.
“Besides, how am I supposed to convince her I'm perfectly fine with someone I've only just met hanging off my arm?” I added, puttering on over to the sink to fill the kettle. I think I could feel another migraine coming on.
“I get it, y/n, I do. And I’m also sorry for suggesting it, but if I knew of an easier solution that would magically solve all our problems, then I would. But I don’t, and even though I want the biggest day of my life to go perfectly, I also want you happy.”
I could hear the sincerity in her voice and as I picked up my mug and tossed a teabag inside, I could also picture her sat at the dinning table back home, foot anxiously tapping away in an attempt to conjure up a better idea. She was a nitpicker, right down to the very bone, and I could only guess the amount of stress she was putting herself under in order to make sure that her wedding went off without a hitch for all those involved. 
After a few moments of shared silence, she spoke again, “To be honest, I can’t believe you stuck around as long as you did.”
My mind wandered back to all the time I’d wasted on Alex. We’d met growing up, he’d been our next door neighbour. We went through all of primary school despising one another, only to end up in the same friendship group come secondary. It didn’t take much more than that for us to suddenly become joined at the hip. He’d been my best mate, and when we finally got together, I’d pictured the rest of our lives spent with one another. 
He’d honestly really fucked me over in the end. I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend that day, but both of my closest friends, as well as a few others who’d taken his side in the awkward aftermath that came when most relationships ended. But that being said, I felt more at peace now than I had in a long while. With every relationship came troubles, and by the end of ours, I guessed we had more than most. That wasn’t me making excuses for him though- nah, he was still a massive prick.
“Yeah, me either.” I admitted, a breathy chuckle slipping from my lips as I softly shook away the rest of my thoughts. 
“I am proud of you though, for moving on as well as you have. Always knew he was an arse.” Came my sister’s voice and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.
I grinned, so very thankful for her.
“God, was he!” I agreed instantly, listening to her giggle as I laughed, “A right tit.”
“Oh!”
I blinked at the sudden exclamation heard from down the phone and furrowed my brow slightly as the last of my laughter tittered out, “You alright there?”
“Uh, yes! I’ve just had the most perfect idea!” My sister declared, not even giving me the chance to question her before she was off on a tangent. “Forget about having to chat anyone up, or having some godawful colleague of yours to pose as a fake date- I’ve already got the perfect person for you!”
I felt my mouth part slightly in confusion and was just about to speak up when she beat me to the punch, seemingly excited about whatever plan she’d formulated in her head.
“Right, okay, just listen. I know this guy, a friend of Adam’s, yeah? He’s been off of relationships for a little while now, not really looking for anything at the moment ‘cause he’s been away for a bit. Busy, and what not. But y/n, he’s a right charmer, proper looker, too! He also happens to owe Ad a big favour!”
I closed my eyes for a moment, frowning. “What are you getting at here, y/s/n?”
The huff that sounded then, all but echoed in my ear and I couldn’t not roll my eyes at her dramatics.
“He can be your date, y/n! I know he’d be well up for helping us out if I give him free-rein to do what he pleases, always up for a laugh, and he'll be able to keep mum off your back about finding someone new. Plus, I can guarantee you a good time because I just know that the two of you will instantly hit it off.”
“What?” I squawk, far beyond perplexed. “You can’t just ask some randomer to pretend to be my date to your wedding, y/s/n! Are you actually insane?”
“He’s not some randomer though! I know him through Adam, and Adam’s known him since school!” My sister pestered, and I could practically feel her excitement bubbling up from down the phone. “He’s well lovely, nothing like He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named— Plus! When we were first introduced, I’d had the thought of setting him up with you, but well, you know, you were still with What’s-his-face and you seemed happy enough.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, to be frank. And went to say as much, when she cut me off again.
“Come on, y/n/n! It’ll be so great! And besides, who would it hurt? You’re both single, not looking for any sort of commitment, and both without dates to my wedding. Mum’ll be over the moon about it, too, once I let her know! And this way, I won’t have to fork out God knows how much on another two plus ones.”
“I’m really not sure about- hang on, he’s already going?” I questioned, confusedly. 
“He’s Adam’s best mate, of course he’s coming!”
“I thought Ad’s best mate was George?”
Her eye roll was implied when she retorted. “You can have more than one best mate, y/n. Look, you worry too much. I’ll have Ad phone him now and ask, yeah? If he agrees, I’ll get him to message you.” I was still beyond fucking baffled and could hear the obvious delight which lined my sister’s tone. “That settles it, I’ll do it right now. So talk to you later, yeah? God, I'm so excited! Love you lots!”
Then she was gone.
I let the phone fall away from my ear and stared down at the blank screen with vacant eyes.
What the fuck.
“What the actual fuck?” I found myself asking my empty flat aloud. I rubbed at my forehead tiredly before I ultimately tossed the device onto the pile of cushions perched on the nearest armchair, leaving it there to hopefully die, or something. 
Didn’t quite turn out that way though. I ended up fishing it out about an hour later when I’d started running a bath, needing it for it’s musical capabilities.
It was then, after the tub had filled and I’d slipped into its mountain of bubbles, that a notification disturbed the perfect playlist I’d curated. 
I grumbled as I pulled myself up and out of the water.
It was a text from an unknown number, I frowned as I unlocked the device.
“Oh, for fucks sake!”
I hadn’t actually believed that she would do it. Ask someone to be her sister’s fake date to her own wedding! But I really, really, really should’ve known better. 
And so I tossed the phone back on the side, submerging my body in its entirety back under the soapy water in hopes that I might just drown. She was so dead.
Maybe I’d been a tad bit hasty in scheduling the perfectly timed event of my sister’s impending death. 
Listen, I could admit when I was being a total drama queen, but my sister had well and truly pushed her luck this time around, and so I’d been quick in my judgement of the situation. Perhaps a little too quick.
Several weeks had passed since that day and in the time leading up to my sister’s wedding, I had spent a good portion of it texting Matty back and forth. 
That was his name, by the way- the poor bloke my sister had roped into accompanying me on her big day. And if I was being honest, I was rather grateful for the fact that she’d chosen to stick her big nose in where it wasn’t wanted and set the whole thing up. Though, I might have been better inclined to admit so if she’d been a whole lot more normal and just introduced the two of us in a much more conventional way.
When Matty had texted me that first night- rather delighted by the fact that he’d been gifted the privilege of a front row ticket to the shit-show I was still calling my life- I’d been dreading the entire thing. 
He had taken the utter piss out of me in all truth, and had then proceeded to rinse the shit out of the entire situation for all it was worth. But, strangely enough, he’d done so in the very best way. 
I can honestly admit that I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have than when I’m messaging Matty. He was everything my sister had described and more.
He knew how to have a good laugh, when to flirt or to tease, and he was pretty open about the things that mattered most to him once you’d bartered your way past that overzealous ego of his. He also appeared to love music almost as much as me, which was honestly saying something. And he spoke highly of his family and friends, in length too when they had come up here and there in conversation.
I really hadn’t expected to have grown so close to him in the time we’d spent texting back and forth, but there was just something about him, in his nature maybe, that just made things feel so easy.
It was so, so strange, because I hadn’t even seen a picture of the bloke, and I’d only ever heard a few short snippets of his voice through the odd voicenote we'd shared here and there, but I’d openly call him a close friend to any one who now asked. It was as though we’d known each other for years. 
And I really wasn’t one to let many people in, I liked the small family I had created for myself, one full of friends I’d known for eons, and relatives that meant the world to me. So to have Matty slip by all of my defences so effortlessly, was something I thought a lot about.
“Oi,” Jamie suddenly prompted with a bright grin, a jabbing finger to my side untangled me from my thoughts. "You ready for the big day?
I’d been stood a little way a way from the chapel’s entrance, waiting for everyone else to arrive, and was seemingly a little lost in my own head. Apprehensive, maybe. Jamie had startled me slightly as I’d not even heard his approach, but I allowed myself to relax somewhat as I gave him the once over.
“Just about.” I replied with a teasing smile, “Clean up nice, Jim. Loving the suit.”
Jamie was my cousin, but we were so close in age I practically saw him as another brother. We’d grown up together, which also meant that he’d been close with Alex too.
Though, he’d actually been one of the few people who had taken my side after everything that happened, even with the two boys having been rather close since they were kids. I was glad to still have him, so glad, even if it did mean that I still felt a little guilty about the whole thing from time to time.
“Don’t look too surprised.” Jamie laughed at my light jab as he pulled me in for a short hug. “Though, you are looking good too, I suppose.”
I swatted at his shoulder when we parted. “Don’t be a twat, you know I’m the best dressed here.”
“Oh yeah…” He dragged out sarcastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Definitely ready to upstage the bride.”
I just rolled my eyes as I laughed. “Where is bridezilla anyway?”
“Just saw her with your mum, actually. They were fussing about something or other, but I reckon they ended up sorting it out.” Jamie replied with a small shrug as he pulled on his lapels.
I let my eyes roam around the surrounding area again for a brief moment as he did, skirting over the mass of maple trees, which were now in full bloom, and the familiar faces that crowded the gravel drive. 
“Exactly why I can never see myself going through with any of this.” I commented offhandedly, too preoccupied with the anxiety of finally meeting my so called date.
My gaze found Jamie’s again when he wearily voiced, “What- even when you were with…?” His voice held a hint of genuine curiosity.
I shrugged, in truth, I’d never really given it much thought, my wedding day. Even after having been with Alex all that time. I could just never see it happening for myself.
“Not really.” I said, “How about you though? Can you picture yourself all kitted out and waiting at the end of that aisle?”
Jamie laughed, his eyes squinted. “Not too sure about that. I mean I like the sound of it, spending forever with someone and all, but I dunno who’d be brave enough to have me.”
I snorted as I clapped my cousin’s shoulder in condolence. “They’d have to be a tad bit mental, Jim. But they’d also be fucking lucky too. You’re a gooden.”
“Love you.” Jamie smiled as he enveloped me in another hug. He was a lot taller than me now so he all but squished me into his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to mind even as I jokingly shoved him away.
“Stop, you’ll ruin my hair and makeup.” I scolded lightly, wrinkling my nose.
Jamie just chuckled, “Since when have you cared about any of that crap?”
“Never.” I grinned back at him in retort, “Just didn’t want you sliming all over me, snail-face.”
“You’re a right fucking weirdo, you know that?”
“I do, Jim, I do.”
I fixed the side of my dress whilst my cousin just rolled his eyes, seemingly content with waiting beside me now.
When I’d made sure that I was still somewhat presentable, mostly for both my mother and sister’s sake, I allowed myself to reevaluate the rest of the oncoming arrivers. Still no sign of that date of mine.
I sighed quietly, checking the time on my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a text.
“You all good there?” Jamie questioned quietly after a few minutes, I looked up to find him staring down at me with a concerned frown. 
I hummed, “Fine, why?”
“Just seem a bit nervous, not like you that.”
I huffed a light laugh before shooting my cousin a somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, maybe a bit. It’s just I’m waiting for my date to arrive and-”
As I uttered that sentence Jamie’s eyes all but boggled out of his head, “You never said nowt about a date!”
I gave him a sheepish grin, I hadn’t really mentioned Matty to anyone. Only having allowed my sister to pass on the message that I wasn’t turning up completely alone to my mum. I’d not given much thought to anyone else’s reaction.
“Um, yeah.” I replied, feeling a little uncomfortable upon having to mentally decide whether I should let Jamie in on the truth or not. The kid had always been a massive blabbermouth though, he just couldn’t seem to help it, but I knew he’d understand wholeheartedly. “It's new, but it’s going good…”
Jamie’s smile was wide enough that I could practically see either side of his molars, a megawatt sort of thing.
Immediately I felt my stomach churn. There was that guilt again.
“I’m well chuffed for you, y/n/n! Can’t wait to meet the lucky fella- when’s he set to get here? Didn’t you come together? Where’d you even meet him, anyhow? Does y/s/n know you’re bringing him along?”
Fucking hell, what was with the twenty-one questions?
I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t realise how hard this was all going to be. Was the rest of the day going to be like this? All consuming guilt?
“Er, should be here soon enough, I think.” I found myself saying, playing with one of the rings on my left hand. “Something came up last minute- his mum needed him. Urgent, you know how it is… and he’s a right mummy’s boy that one! So I suggested he just meet me here, and well, he was grateful. Felt really bad though. Promised he wouldn’t be late and all that.”
Jamie seemed to be eating it up and just kept nodding along, making me feel as though I had to continue on.
“We actually met through y/s/n, weirdly enough. She introduced us when I’d popped round to surprise her a while back. He’s close with Adam, best mates and that. We just hit it off I guess.”
I silently cursed myself and my ability to not know when to stop. fucking. rambling. But I was too nervous to think up a believable enough lie and so I’d decided to just tangent off from the truth. It was close enough, I figured.
“Awh, I’m so happy for you, cuz. Congrats!” Jamie said, obviously thrilled for me, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Know why you’re so wound up now, your mum will be on your case all night!”
We shared a laugh. Because wasn’t that the fucking truth.
I tried my hardest to hide my slight grimace though as I allowed my cousin to congratulate me. During a few shared conversations with Matty, we had thought up a convincing enough plan, but now that it was time to put it all into action I wasn’t sure we’d actually be able to pull it off. Especially with the reminder that we’d be lying to my mum of all people.
“Oh shit, there’s Laura! Best head on over.” Jamie suddenly announced, his eyes focused on a brunette in the distance, far enough that I had to squint to even make out who he was referring to. 
But before I could comment or question Jamie’s twenty/twenty vision, my cousin was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, all but ready to run off.
He turned to me before he did though, squeezing my shoulder slightly. “Make sure you come find me with this date of yours, yeah? Gotta make sure he meets the mark.” I smiled, a little touched. “But I truly am buzzing for you, y/n. After everything, you deserve someone good.”
My chest ached and as my cousin gave me one final grin I couldn’t help but feel a little like the grinch, my heart had to have shrunk to half its size at the very thought of having just lied to Jamie. 
I couldn’t linger too long on the regret I felt though as my phone buzzed in my hand. Immediately I peered down at it, chewing on my lower lip. 
As the screen lit up, I frowned. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?
Matty had just messaged, but before I could even think up a reply I heard a few of the other guests around me start to whisper. I glanced up and over to where I then heard a muffled squeal. I pulled a face as I watched one of my younger cousins, Arielle who’d just turned fifteen, jump behind Jordan, her older brother. 
I shook my head and pivoted slightly, eyes scanning over the rest of the guests who had yet to make their way into the chapel. A few of the women were openly staring down the gravel drive, gossiping amongst themselves, and I couldn’t not follow their gaze.
I was really confused, everyone’s attention seemed to be drawn towards the figure who was wandering closer. He was decent looking, I supposed, clad in a fitted tuxedo he'd paired with a black bowtie and an uncaring expression, but he was no James Dean. So I couldn’t quite get my head round why they were all so bothered.
As he grew nearer, I took in what I could. The dark narrowed eyes hidden beneath a pair of furrowed brows, the cropped cut of the hair he’d greased back, the handful of silver rings which cluttered his fingers. What caused me to pause though was the cigarette, which hung effortlessly from his bottom lip. Because, shit. 
Instantly my focus moved back down to where my phone screen was now dimming and I quickly tapped at the home screen to view the last message I’d been sent. 
Keep an eye out for the oncoming smoker, alright x
My heartbeat quickened, and my gaze flitted back and forth between the approaching figure and the text. Surely it couldn’t have been anyone else.
“Sweetheart?” A voice called out with a sure northern twang, erupting goosebumps up both of my arms. I glanced up.
Sure enough it was him, he’d been the only one to ever call me that.
My throat grew dry, “Fuck me.”
“Little early for that, I reckon. Heard about there being an open bar though, buy me a drink and we can talk again later, yeah?” The man ribbed, smirking as he plucked the fag from his lip. He drew closer and I was taken back a bit from how confident he appeared, almost identical to the way he seemed over the phone. But now in tenfold.
"God, sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with the back of my hand as I shook my head to try and cover my reddening cheeks. “Didn’t expect, well- this.” I added, only furthering my embarrassment by vaguely gesturing towards him.
Matty’s grin dimmed almost immediately then, and I frowned.
“Hang on, you are Matty, right? The same Matty I’ve been messaging for weeks. The guy who texts me at all hours of the night going on about how ripe a banana has to be before you can eat it… and who sends me little voice memos of theme tunes he’s rewritten so that they sound aesthetically more pleasing?”
The man looked confused for a moment, and his brown eyes surveyed me before he ultimately chuckled. I blinked at the sudden change in behaviour.
“Guess you could put it like that.” Matty laughed once more, this time a little more airily. And God, did I want to listen to it on repeat. I’d thought about it once or twice, what it would be like to hear him laugh, to listen to him talk. “Hope you weren’t half-expecting some model to come waltzing in here. I mean, I’m fit but I can only do so much, babe.”
It was said jokingly and though Matty was probably one of the most vainest people I’d had the pleasure of meeting, I also knew that there was some genuine apprehension in his eyes. Almost like he’d been both dreading and craving this moment as much as I had. 
“Fuck off! Model.” I scoffed, and laughed alongside him as I shook my head. But then I peered around at the few who were still staring and was now suddenly hyperaware of them all. I didn’t really think too much about it as I stepped in closer to shield him somewhat. “Christ, Matty. Feels like you’ve just walked off an album cover or something, with the way you’ve got everyone leering at you.”
And wow. I watched in slight disbelief as Matty scratched at the back his neck with a small, almost bashful smile. I took note of the small hoop he had cuffed around his lobe.
“Piss off.” The man chuckled, finding his feet again as he realised the proximity we now held. “Reckon they’re all looking at you though.” He commented, looking me over with a sly smile. “Hann painted a good picture, but you’ve exceeded all expectations, darling.” 
I couldn’t help but smirk, regaining my usual confidence. “Spent a lot of time thinking about me, have you Healy?”
Matty’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, his unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers in the small space that separated our bodies.
“You’d know all about that, babe. Your first words, if I do recall, were 'fuck me'. And though I’d be happy to comply with your reasonable request, I don’t think Adam, or your sister, would very much approve of me taking you in front of all these lovely people.”
I hummed mischievously, eyeing him. Yeah, this was my Matty alright.
“Can’t say I’ll come to regret those words.” Then, before Matty could even think up another retort, I wound my arm around his and started leading us in towards the chapel. “Best play the part, yeah?”
And I had to dampen my grin when I heard the man’s joyous laughter sound beside me. Ignoring all of the other onlookers to sneak a peak over at him, I found myself loving the squinted grin he made as he tucked his cigarette behind his ear.
This night would definitely be memorable.
Part two >
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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
Note
Hi! I love your page so much! From the dog/ handsome man ask, who would be the home wreckers and who would suffer in the friend zone?
Gaz and König would be the kings of the friend zoned boys while Ghost and Kruger would definitely manipulate, manslaughter, and manwhore their way in Sweetheart’s relationship. Where would the other boys be?
Hello! I'm so happy that you like my page!! I appreciate it 🙏 🫂❤️❤️
WHEW NOW YOU WENT IN BABES
(What we're referring to!)
You are very right, Gaz and König would be the absolute BALLERZ of the friend zone (or the brother zone, cause she sees them like "b r o t h e r s") and then Ghost and Krueger, like the SLUTS THEY ARE, would still be trying ONE HUNNID PERCENT
So let's use this as a pyramid system! The highest is 100% brother zone, and then going down further, you get to the Slut Homewreckers. It goes as such:
The Brother Zone
König
Gaz
Rodolfo
Alex
Roach
Horangi (The Whore Medium)
Alejandro
Price
Soap
Graves
Ghost
Krueger
The Slut Homewreckers
This was so sad to write out 😢
S I K E
Lemme start with Krueger, because he's always my favorite when it comes to Sweetheart.
Short answer: Krueger don't give a flying fuck shit.
Long answer: Krueger has been heavily obsessed with Sweetheart ever since he met her. You think that'll just E N D cause she got a boyfriend? Bitch please, that just makes him want her more. That little boyfriend is just keeping her company for now. Sweetheart belongs to Krueger, she just doesn't know it yet.
Now Ghost, he honestly can't help it. If he has his eyes set on something, he's either gonna make it his or complete it with so much determination it's scary. And that's EXACTLY what he's gonna do with Sweetheart. He didn't think he would fall in love with anyone, so she has a very special place in his heart. He's a bit heartbroken that she has a boyfriend. But as I said with Krueger, that's not gonna stop him. He's absolutely addicted to her, and his addiction can't just be leveled by being friends.
Graves... Jesus. With how much Sweetheart hates him, he's still SO PUSHY. He also can't let her go just like that. He likes their banter too much. So much so, that he sees his future with her still doing this, just with her in his arms surrounded by a white picket fence. Now everytime they fight, his brain reminds him that she has a boyfriend. Fuck, well not for long. He's gonna be the most annoying, pushy asshole she has ever seen. And he's not gonna give up.
Soap-- he was honestly gonna be in the brother Zone, but I had to think... cause I have in another ask (that I haven't posted yet, lemme alone) saying that Sweetheart and Soap are best friends first and lovers last. But g o d that's so hard now because he's fallen in love with her. They're extremely close, and for Sweetheart to not tell him that she has a partner really messes with him. He can't shake the feeling of wanting her for himself. (I can also see him being so desperate and begging. I have a problem with Soap being desperate and begging, its like my whole personality)
Price DEFINITELY wasn't gonna be bro zoned. Like come on- he's so determined in everything he does. But he will feel guilt everytime he tries to woo her. The black tendrils coiling around his being, the right from wrong really be setting in his soul and he hates it. But his desires and his heart keep pushing him to do the "wroight" thing. (Get it? It's right and wrong mixed together HAHA sorry)
Alejandro wouldn't.... but also really would. He feels a connection to Sweetheart. Platonically and romantically. But the romantic weights out the Platonic, and long story short; he wants her. He doesn't want to give up, but he also wants to respect her decision. She seems happy with this man, but wouldn't she be happier with him?
Okay so Horangi is in the middle because he would be 50/50. He would respect her choice to have a boyfriend. I mean yEAH YOU SHOULD-- IDIOT. He would tell himself that it needs to be Platonic only. He would say that when he's near her, when he's staring at her, when he's about to sleep, about to eat, about to-- you get where I'm going. But what if he would keep trying? He's a dogshit gambler though, so it may not turn out right.
Roach would be too scared to be a Homewrecker. He doesn't want to lose her completely, so he will just be Sweetheart's friend. I don't think he could take it for long though, since everyone has a breaking point. Seeing her smile with her man makes him smile, but his heart is bleeding.
Alex would be a bit disgruntled, but he would get over it. She's still in his life but just as friends. He would love to kiss her though. And to wake up next to her in the mornings and make breakfast together-- BUT YA KNOW IT'S FINE, HE'S FINE
Rodolfo hurts me, man. I feel like he would be so sensitive to love. Especially when it comes to loving Sweetheart. He would just look like a sad puppy everytime he's around her cause he knows he'll never get her like he wants to. #LOVEFORRUDY2023
Gaz will be on the cusp of crying 24/7 and being jealous everytime he sees her. And her 🤢man🤢 he will be supportive though, in whatever Sweetheart does he will always be supportive. And a friend. Only a friend to Sweetheart because that's what she wants and he'll respect it. I mean shiii he has to, he doesn't want to ruin anything this good, even if it is platonic.
König, my boy. The König of the friendzone (I LIKE TO THINK IM FUNNY) alot of people think that he's "UwU Boi babygirl nervous wreck little meow meow" (which I do agree on sometimes but also-) he grew up with alot of anger, and punching the shit outta people in school and getting into fights. He would never, EVER put his hands on Sweetheart, but he will mess up his room. And she didn't tell him? He gonna shut off for quite some time. And cry. Cry a l o t. He would have to re-wire his brain to tell himself that she's taken. She's gone.
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eldritch-nightmare · 8 months
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do they have deal breakers?
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a/n: idk i just thought this would be an interesting thing to write.
synopsis: what are some deal breakers for them? what can they not tolerate?
includes: slenderman, jeff the killer, eyeless jack, laughing jack, jane the killer, nina the killer, the bloody painter, candy pop, the doll maker, jason the toymaker, dr smiley, nurse ann, the puppeteer, clockwork, zalgo, hobo heart, ticci toby, zero, kagekao, nathan the nobody, homicidal liu + sully, tim wright, brian thomas, jay merrick, jessica locke, and alex kralie.
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SLENDERMAN doesn't have a lot of deal breakers, to be quite honest. it doesn't have any preferences when it comes to romance. i suppose if it had to pick something, it would say that it would rather avoid dating people with a disdain towards nature. it literally lives in nature, so... it would also probably avoid people who have children in their life, be it a parent or a teacher.
JEFF THE KILLER has a two off the top of his head. firstly, he will never date a Fangirl capital 'F'. if he even gets the slightest inkling that someone might be a fan of his, it's an immediate no and that person very well may lose their life. and secondly, he refuses to date anyone who hates his brother. yeah, he and liu don't get along and liu wants him dead but in his mind, liu is still the most important person in jeff's life. people who commit arson are on thin fucking ice.
EYELESS JACK is fairly lax when it comes to 'deal breakers'. he doesn't have anything he dislikes, and there isn't any type of behavior that he necessarily avoids either. people who aren't fond of cannibalism would be difficult to date, he supposes. he doesn't really like people who may try keeping his as a pet either. and... maybe people who are in cults...
LAUGHING JACK is one sick and twisted bastard so deal breakers are very unlikely. realistically, his partner being around kids should probably be a deal breaker but that's... literally the only way to meet him. he's incredibly complex so he really won't know his own deal breakers until he's like... in the situation, y'know?
JANE THE KILLER has one immediate deal breaker. if you like jeff the killer, she immediately feels immense disdain toward you and she will never even acknowledge your existence, not unless she's forced to. jane richardson is also lesbian, so men are an immediate no.
NINA THE KILLER has one immediate deal breaker as well. if you dislike jeff the killer, she will not get along with you. she and jeff have a love-hate relationship but at the end of the day, he's still her idol and she looks up to him a lot, so.
THE BLOODY PAINTER barely interacts with people to really know if he has any deal breakers. perhaps people who dislike art? though, he can't really fault someone for not seeing the beauty held within the multitudes of art all around the world.
CANDY POP isn't the biggest fan of people he deems to be annoying or boring. now, i know what you're thinking, candy pop literally finds joy in annoying people, so wouldn't he be delighted to have a partner who behaves the same way? absolutely not. he likes to be the one terrorizing people; he does not want to be terrorized.
THE DOLL MAKER is immediately hesitant around older men, so if you are a guy and you're older than him then just know he'll avoid you like the plague. also, due to his pyrophobia, arsonists and people fascinated by fire get an immediate no from him. anyone who may poke fun at the dolls he creates aren't welcome either, and he'll probably end up turning them into a doll.
JASON THE TOYMAKER has one goal only and it is to find 'the one for him' so like... not many deal breakers here. just fall in love with him and never ever reject him and everything will be good! you'll be turned into a wax doll, otherwise, and that's a terrible fate to suffer.
DR SMILEY also rarely interacts with people, though he's not the biggest fan of people who so desperately cling to life and believe that death is something to be afraid of.
NURSE ANN just doesn't like people in general and only has like... three people she enjoys being around so the likelihood of her growing to like someone is small. that being said, something that immediately makes her dislike a person is when they mock her for not speaking often.
THE PUPPETEER has major disdain for people he cannot control. unless he's already grown attached to (ex. emra) or reliant on them (ex. zachary), then disobedience is not something he can tolerate. he's also not the biggest fan of super-duper cheerful people, though that's only because it makes killing them harder.
CLOCKWORK by default cannot stand anyone who reminds her of her past. she wants nothing more than to forget the pain and hell she went through, so to find a person who reminds her of all that trauma? yeah, no, they gotta go.
ZALGO literally hates everything and everyone but on the very slight chance that someone manages to worm their way into the essence of his being, then so long as they don't mind humanity's downfall then they're fine. bonus points if they're good with kids because holy shit he doesn't know how to be a dad. and if they dislike kids then like... that's fine, i guess, but he'll be a bit bitter.
HOBO HEART is fairly hesitant when it comes to love. the one time he fell in love, she threw his heart away. he's hesitant to fall in love again, but he could never fall for anyone who would so willingly leave him behind. he's not the biggest fan of liars either. simply put, he could never love someone who doesn't value their own heart.
TICCI TOBY already keeps people at a distance, but it's an immediate deal breaker when someone starts making fun of him. if someone makes a bad comment about lyra or his mother, then that's also an immediate no. anyone who heavily drinks alcohol is a no. anyone who 'teases' him about his tourette's is a no. anyone who doesn't take his CIPA seriously is a no.
ZERO could never be in a relationship with someone with the mindset of 'i can fix her' because she doesn't need to be fixed. honestly, you should consider yourself lucky that she's somehow managed to grow an attachment to you considering her disregard for everyone around her. do something to make her hate you and you'll regret it.
KAGEKAO is gay, first and foremost, so if you're a woman then it just won't work out. he's fluent in english as well so you don't necessarily have to know japanese, though he'd love for you to learn. people who make comments about his wine habits or tell him to cut back on drinking wine will be disposed of immediately. he also isn't fond of boring people.
NATHAN THE NOBODY tends to believe that most people are in the organization that took away his sister, so by default, it's an immediate no if he comes to believe that someone is in the organization. he can't come to terms with his sister's death, so he'll get rid of anyone who tries to make him see that she's dead.
HOMICIDAL LIU hardly ever gives romance any thought because he's so caught up in his goal of trying to kill jeff that it rarely ever crosses his mind, so deal breakers aren't something he's given much thought. people who aren't fond of arson probably won't like liu, so they're a no. anyone who thinks he should forgive jeff is an immediate no. anyone who is a fangirl of jeff or idolizes him the way nina does is also an immediate no. people who aren't fond of smoking most certainly won't like him so they're also a no. anyone who sees no harm in mocking and bullying other people is a no.
SULLY has deal breakers relatively similar to liu. if you're a jeff groupie then he honestly wants nothing to do with you. if you are a threat to liu in any way shape or form, then he's already planning a way to dispose of you. other than that, he's pretty laid back with this sort of stuff.
TIM WRIGHT has a habit of smoking so people who can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke should probably avoid him. he isn't close to a lot of people so when someone betrays his trust, it really hits him hard so people with a habit of lying are an immediate no.
BRIAN THOMAS is a bros before hoes sorta guy in the sense that if his partner doesn't like his friends then suddenly he doesn't have a partner anymore. he can't date someone who dislikes the people he's closest to, it just doesn't work that way. especially if they dislike tim, like... that's his best friend there, dude.
JAY MERRICK is a gay man so if you are a woman, then... yeah. it won't work. you stand no chance with jay if you don't believe him when he tells you that something is seriously wrong. he doesn't like people who avoid telling him about an issue because it stresses him out a lot so he would rather prefer people who can openly tell him if something is wrong.
JESSICA LOCKE is lesbian, so men simply just do not have a chance with her. she doesn't really have many deal breakers though, to be honest. at least none that come to the top of her head. she'd probably have to experience something to decide whether or not that's a deal breaker for her, y'know?
ALEX KRALIE is like... deeply unhinged in every way possible and will try killing his partner no matter what, so. let's just use the alex before all the operator stuff happened! he can't be with anyone who doesn't support him or his passion project, marble hornets. and in the midst of marble hornets, he will try to kill his partner. there's no avoiding that. he, himself, is a deal breaker, gotta be honest here.
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cxhleel108 · 6 months
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S7 Thots for this week: I’ve had enough…
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• Here go this bitch🙄🙄🙄
• The new bed outfits were kinda meh but that purple and gold number was cuuuuuute.
• Lame ass sex scene on the daybeds yayyyy.
• Yes Willow we had a VERY nice evening. Did you have fun with the “him-shaped space” in your bed?😁
• Aw Bonnie and Vicky are sad that I made love with Bryson? That’s awful, I really don’t give a fuck tho.
• Snog, Marry, Pie day is here😍😍😍
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• Oh don’t worry bitch I got somebody in mind too!
• Daphne immediately going to snog Evan like she’s so real I’m sorry.
• The fact we get to dodge the pie getting thrown at us LMAOOOOO Willow you’re never gonna win bookie.
• The fact everyone wants to marry Tanya (my MC for clarification) oooohhh she’s mother!
• Bryson you really coulda just snogged me babe but Imma look past it cuz you still made sure to put a ring on it😁
• Willow I know YOU of all people are not tryna call ME predictable.
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•🫵🏽🤣
• Not Rafael coming to kiss us??? Sorry Daph🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️
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• Why I actually got upset cuz he ain’t choose us?
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• Oh ok nvm I’m good now🤭
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• 🫵🏽🤣
• Why did Vicky emphasize that she had to tell us stuff about our LI and the other boys and then we proceeded to pay 29 gems just for her to not tell us anything about our LI…Fusebox somebody is gon sue y’all niggas one day while y’all keep playing.
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• BYE WILLOW!
• Oh Bryson you are so shady for saying last to come should be the first to go, aka Vicky and Travis needa pack they mf bags. I’ve taught him so well🤩
• I don’t wanna go talk to these people about “where their heads are at” I DON'T CAREEE.
• Evan asking me who I think the most annoying couple is omg? Why are y’all so messssyyyyy??? (I love it)
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• Oh that's cool, we really don't give a fuck tho!
• Oop it's date time so you know what that means girlies...outfit reviews🤩🤩🤩
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• Don't get me wrong these are both cute but there are certain details on both of the tops that's fucking them up.
• The date was cute. Not much else to comment on.
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• OH-
• I'm crying how #Raphne get destroyed just after they was pledging to leave the villa for each other😭😭😭
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• Honestly real asf.
• Ok my whole thing is...Uma...If y'all just made up and had a wonderful lil freak session then why after a very small, I mean MINISCULE, disagreement about not talking so quickly about the future are you gonna just go out and try to make a move on another bitch's man? Niece I can only keep defending you for so long like...
• But at the same time Alex lowkey deserve it cuz he pissing me off with all this hypocritical whiny ass lil baby shit.
• Omg Bryson finna ask us to be his girlfriend soon oooo #Raphne watch out cuz #Tyson is gonna take your spot😘
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• LIKE WHAT IS SHE BABBLING ABOUT???????
• Uma you may be immature and a lil slow at times but you still a real ass bitch, I can't hate you💯
• Outfit time again🤩
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• Omg omg omg these both eat thank god I was so scared.
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• Don’t say what I think you're about to say...
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• Oh ok you did it anyway lol🙂
• Willow if you know what's good for you, you will keep your mouth SHUT!
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• So Willow gets to stay and now Evan's gone...ok.
• So what I'm gathering from this confession about Raf (I literally couldn't be any less shocked) is that every man that has met Tanya in here has wanted her...she's literally queen of the villa like all you hoes are peasants at this point🤣🤣🤣
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• GIRL DON'T CLOCK JAKE WILSON LIKE THAT-
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• Willow...don't get fucked up😄
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• Willow...don't. get. fucked. UP.
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• ...
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