#the characters do whatever they want and the players just have to deal with it
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HI GORGEOUS!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR WIPS AND AUS IM REALLY INTERESTED 🙏🙏🙏
Foams at the mouth
I’m in the middle of writing up a whole HC post for someone asking about a highschool AU but I’m gonna take this opportunity to sidetrack the conversation towards something I’d love to genuinely see from the series… a HEAVY (film) noir lean. Think: Bogart, Framed, Gilda, Vertigo… probably pushing the era back 40’s, 50’s way (Maybe even some 30’s lean in there, if I could get away with it) instead of the general 60’s vibe Lupin has going for it.
I think there’s a TON of potential there. I mean, I’m aware something like this was pitched (and never picked up, sigh…) so there IS sentiment there, and the idea has been thought about, but instead of TWCFM’s ‘serious Lupin’ I’d love to see a true noir ‘serious Lupin’. I think you can put these characters into a serious setting without making them straight up evil, and I’ll be honest, I think it would be way more appealing than the stuff they’ve been releasing lately (besides Zero. I have to admit that I loved Zero).
I’d want the gang to actually feel like criminals, though. Cutting shady deals in illegal bars, Lupin running his mouth to big players about whatever new heist he has up his sleeve. I’d take them back to being Miyazaki-esque ‘living paycheck-to-paycheck’ rather than ‘insta-rich Lupin funding his hedonistic spirit’ because I think that would work better in this universe: Lupin is constantly getting them in hot shit with the big leagues because he can’t keep his mouth shut. Jigen has shot ten guys this week who have come knocking at their hideout’s door looking for trouble. Goemon’s sick of digging graves and is antsy to finally be who he dreams of being. Fujiko’s got her eyes on a bigger prize, like always.
Zenigata’s an underpaid beat-cop-turned-inspector who has been trying to climb the ranks for a long while. He’s ambitious, but a little too soft for his own good: he’s hopeful in a way that most of the guys in his squad aren’t, and that makes him the perfect candidate for when the commissioner has to shill a shitty 9-5 case on an unsuspecting worker. A file lands on his desk, and he flips through it with this eager fire, like he’s just been asked to take on the world, and Lupin and his gang smile up at him from the pages.
Lupin is a crook, he learns. Part-time petty thief, full-time smooth-talker: a man with a legacy to live up to and not a whole lot to show for it besides a reputation as a lady-killer and a particularly long unpaid tab at the seediest bar in town. His sticky fingers have landed him in more trouble than they’ve gotten him out of, and recent reports say that he’s managed to get under the skin of the most notorious once-criminal-now-film-director in town… the very criminal that underhandedly paid Zenigata’s boss to start an official investigation in the first place.
Jigen is a gun-for-hire. Babysitter, bodyguard, hitman… whatever you need, he’ll do, however begrudgingly. He’s not a guy you mess with: and his reputation is actually pretty good in criminal circles. He’s well-respected and well-liked. Or, he was, until the monkey-faced man at the bar implicated him in a crime he didn’t commit. Now, he’s babysitting without pay, and he’s starting to get a little sick of having to put bullets into the faces of old friends who decide his bounty is worth more than his loyalty. Figures.
Goemon’s a man slightly-less-out-of-time. A famous Japanese-American film star, he’s known world-over for starring in Samurai flicks alongside his leading lady, Fujiko Mine. The thing is, Goemon is classically trained in swordslinging, and when Lupin offers him an opportunity to be the very person he’s been portraying on screen, he’s more than happy to throw his reputation away. He never cared much for fame, anyway. There’s just this one little hitch: he’s enamoured with the sword he last used on set, and he won’t take no for an answer when he asks Lupin to retrieve it for him.
Fujiko has her eyes on a prize a little more exciting than Zantetsuken: the film empire she’s helped build herself. The tabloids can’t get enough of her, and she knows that a marriage to the most famous director the world has ever seen might just secure her a place in history. The thing is, the man she’s trying her best to seduce has stopped paying her attention since his beloved priceless-antique-turned-prop-sword went missing, and she’s determined to get it back for him. Because what would make him fall quicker? Ah, there’s just one catch: Lupin is kind of charming, and the life he’s living is… exciting. Tempting. Fujiko likes playing with fire, but she’s starting to get a little too close to this one particular flame. The heat has her cheeks burning… Or maybe that’s Goemon’s doing.
They’re a strange little bunch, the Lupin Gang. But man, do people have a habit of underestimating them. Zenigata included. Because what he thinks to be a simple case of theft soon turns into something more sinister as the layers of movie-magic veneer begin to peel away. Maybe Lupin was onto something, targeting this guy, and maybe this hotshot director isn’t quite as reformed as he says he is.
He went to court recently, after all. Say, how much did he pay the judge to overturn that guilty verdict? Zenigata would like that sum as a pay rise once this has all blown over. That, and some fresh smokes.
((Mmm someone should hop on board and help me develop this I think. Could be a fun little exercise on the side… if it’s up anyone’s alley >:) ))
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Genuinely it is so funny that Laura and Marisha meant to have a completely platonic relationship and then they both tripped and faceplanted directly into romantic feelings. Roughly around the same time too. Well done ladies. Best failure I've ever seen.
#4sd#4 sided dive#critical role spoilers#critical role#imogen temult#laudna#so organic that they both went through the 'oh shit. oh no. i'm in love with my best friend' panic as characters#and related panic as players#the characters do whatever they want and the players just have to deal with it
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im having so much fun writing cadet because hes just like this every day
#i love the kubrick stare its just the ocd stare to me#also i think in the end making caddy lamb a VN is the right idea because its a little easier to imply things about the characters this way#like you play as cadet so you have access to his journal and you can read it if you want to learn more about him#and when he experiences intrusive thoughts its a lot more personal and you are trapped in his head because he is the protagonist#and it makes the pious route a lot more interesting because you arent in his mind anymore but hes a lot more open about what hes thinking#but you also arent getting the full scope hes just kinda crazy and you deal with this explosive guy who let his anger issues take over#im just very invested in the ways in which i can convey what its like to have this shitass disorder#like making compulsions a thing that you have to actively choose not to do#and even if you consistently dont do them the options never disappear you just always have to say no#or give in and it doesnt make much of a difference#not so much that it ruins the player experience but just to make it apparent that it is an active battle to just be normal for 2 seconds#urgh i really am getting excited about this because it feels like im finally gonna be able to share this story#and actually be responsible for portraying a character with ocd who isnt like. a square who keeps things tidy. or whatever#not that its gonna be a complete game changer or even be noticed at all#i just need to put this story out there for myself more than anything to be honest
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the end of chapter 2 WAS very cool and interesting. yelped when the ancestor said he received A Letter (THE LETTER?). i am going to be writhing every single day until the new chapter gets added and the story progressed
#i was a little eh :/ on his characterization initially but it does kind of feel like this is some Other aspect of the man. hes dead now--#--but the heart of darkness DID use him as a weird avatar thing so even beyond the strange of him maybe communicating after death who the--#--hell knows what that means. like a different asepct of the same man spoke to the heir who was dealing with atrocities which were--#--DIRECTLY the ancestors fault as opposed to the prodigy who has a canonical past with the man and is dealing w--#--what is essentially a natural disaster mass extinction event type thing. hes a more sympathetic figure#<-- is scholar the right title instead for the '''player character''' (VERY loose usage of that term) of dd2? idk#the scholar is slowly growing on me as well. weird cowardly academic who accidentally scoops up perhaps the most--#--qualified mercenaries to deal w the end of the world and would maybe get pummeled into a pulp if he mentioned the ancestor in a--#--casual light#like hes telling them abt the iron crown or whatever and says smth like 'oh my mentor [ancestor last name] and i' and immediately--#--every single mercenary side eyes each other HARD like um. did you hear what he just said. especially funny if the runaway is there too--#--and has no idea what is going on and why all of the other guys have twelve layers of history w each other#<-- i DO want to write smth playing w that concept. like maybe when the stagecoach travels thru the sluice or they encounter the--#--antiquarian or whatever just smth with the idea of her being an outsider and seeing+hearing all these things she has no context for#i really do want to like her but she does not have the stellar characterization and dialogue writing of the first game to prop--#--up the so far weak stuff of the second so it is SO hard to find anything of interest 😔
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In response to your overwatch posting but more about competitive games in general, why is it fine and good for certain things to be low or high teir? It's a pipe dream to perfectly balance a game, but isnt the shackling of playstyles, characters, etc to a certain skill group a problem that fucks players at every level?
it's fine and good because it allows for designs that you couldn't make if you really want every character to be equally good. there's a basic expectation from players of competitive games that success should be correlated with skill, that if you play better, if you are better at the things the game asks of you (skillshots, or aiming, or movement tech, or inputs, or whatever) you will see better results. this is what makes a game competitive, right, the ability to get better and see your performance improve as a result.
this means, that, generally speaking, the harder a thing is to do in a game, the more rewarding it will be. this is the logic behind headshots in FPS games, right--it's more difficult to hit a headshot than a bodyshot, so you get rewarded with more damage. better players can hit more headshots, so they'll get more damage (and presumably more kills) in an average round than worse players. so now, let's say you want to introduce some playstyle differentiation into your game, so you add the Scanner, a gun that deals half damage on bodyshots but double damage on headshots.
this is a cool idea! it rewards you even more for showing skill at the game, makes people using it feel really cool when they get that bonus, poses interesting questions to players about trading consistency for volatility. but because it interacts with a skill-based mechanic, its viability is obviously going to be tied to a player's skill--if you're in a pro lobby hitting 60%+ of your headshots, it's an obvious pick. if you've just started playing and you average one headshot a match, it's a total dud.
this is a really on-the-nose example, of course -- but in any kind of competitive game, there are likely going to be far more than just one skill-based mechanic, as well as meta-skills like team communication, positional awareness, understanding matchups, etc. that are going to vary between low and high levels of play. so trying to make a character/weapon/playstyle equally viable at every level of play would mean having to make them essentially agnostic to all those things--which would mean not allowing them to interact with any of the mechanics of the game--which is, practically speaking, impossible.
on the other hand, purposefully designing 'low-tier' or 'high-tier' characters lets you do lots of really useful things! first of all, it lets you make easier characters for beginners, who don't have a huge amount of mechanical complexity to deal with, have some kind of 'training wheel' ability that mitigates a new players' lack of all these game-winning skills. like, say, a gun in that same FPS designed for a 'spray and pray' playstyle, or a character in a fighting game who revolves around one comparatively simple combo. having something like this lets new players onboard to your mechanically complex game without getting overwhelmed or disheartened, by letting them get into a match and feel like they're doing something as soon as possible.
as for 'high-tier' characters, acknowledging that a character will have to be nerfed into unplayability for low ranks lets you actually play with the upper ends of the mechanical complexities you've put into your game. creating characters with extremely complex movement techs that can offer marginal benefits that are game-defining in pro play but basically meaningless in casual play adds a new dimension of depth to high-level play that you can't get if you're too concerned about making every character good at every level.
ultimately, i don't think it fucks players, and i don't think there's any shackling being done--i think it's good to create characters that lean into different parts of a game, for characters to fill different niches in a meta's ecosystem, and for the lists of pro staples and pubstompers to be different.
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i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.
“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:
i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.
like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this
so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).
here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.
SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you��, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.
so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.
inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.
(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels
blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.
your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.
anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.
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As @cosmicchocomuffin suggested!
Which class/subclass each BG3 character would play in D&D (with a little explanation):
Astarion: Draconic Sorcerer - he would pick a character that comes with power innately, no god, no pact, no strings attached, and he would pick draconic for the eventual flight. Also he would want a high Cha character so that he can attempt to be the face of the party.
Gale: Artillerist Artificer - he would pick another Int based class of course, and, as for Artillerist, he still enjoys being useful, so he'd like the fire power this subclass affords. He would take time every day to ensure his infusions are prepared for the day, not allowing the party to proceed without them.
Karlach: Circle of the Moon Druid - she loves animals and nature and would love to transform into them, but wouldn't want to deal with all of those pesky spells, hence the Circle of the Moon. She would definitely be the cause of half of the chaotic druid wildshape memes online.
Lae'zel: Way of the Astral Self Monk - she would pick monk because they're respected martial warriors, pick the subclass because of its potential to reach enlightenment. But to the surprise of no one, she actually gets really into her character to the point of drawing a blade on the DM (Withers).
Shadowheart: Assassin Rogue - the classic lone wolf class and given all of her Sharran training, she would pick this subclass for the ease of roleplay it offers, with its disguise and mimicry. She starts out aloof, but quickly divulges the entire 12-page backstory she created for her character.
Wyll: Monster Slayer Ranger - he heard people looked down on rangers and decided to give them a chance, then he saw Monster Slayer was an option and knew he picked right. The actual face of the party, simply because he's the only one capable of staying on track-- however, put him in front of a cool monster and you've lost him too.
Non-Origins:
Halsin: Nature Domain Cleric - as someone who loves to help others, he would pick a class with a greater lean to the healing side of magic and with a bit of the same druid utility, then pick the subclass to still have that connection to nature. He will happily go along with whatever the party wants to do, and has ended up in jail a few times for it.
Minthara: Order of the Profane Soul Blood Hunter - she would love a class that's willing to go to any extent to defeat their enemies, like a blood hunter, and the order of the Profane Soul just cranks that up all the more. She would be the classic murder hobo of the group if left unchecked, but she will back off when the rewards are good enough.
Jaheira: Battle Master Fighter - she would go for a classic, reliable class like fighter, with a subclass that utilizes her battle knowledge like Battle Master. She is definitely a guest player, who the DM taps in for a difficult boss fight or arc, so she somehow still ends up the mentor figure in the game.
Minsc: Path of the Beast Barbarian - he wouldn't play something too complicated, hence the Barbarian, and he would love to understand Boo better, so he'd pick the subclass for the Beast abilities that come with this subclass. He would never quite know what he's doing, but makes the best accidental one liners at the table so no one minds helping.
Disclaimer: I only picked stuff I at least have the sourcebooks for. While some extra stuff looked cool, I wasn't familiar enough to get the vibes properly.
#bg3#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#astarion#gale#karlach#lae'zel#shadowheart#wyll#halsin#minthara#jaheira#minsc#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd classes#this was fun to do hehe#i think they would never get past level 5 but they have a good time#withers tpks them when he gets bored of it
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(Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1)
I don't have any expectations for wherever FCG will stay dead or come back somehow because I've spent 9 years watching Sam Riegel totally subvert my expectations in a narratively compelling way.
But I will say that "FCG shouldn't come back because it would lessen the impact of a narratively perfect death" is EXACTLY what people were saying about Percy's first death after C1 E68. (The first televised character death.) If he had to have an end, it was a fitting end that, while tragic, neatly tied up the thesis of the story. Would Taliesin even want him to come back? With Whitestone saved and Ripply killed, was there even much left to explore?
They found Percy's death letter telling them he loved them all but please bury him in a ditch with all his designs so he could be forgotten by history. He was so sorry for all he'd done and he could never make it up.
But they tried anyway, having to wrest Percy's soul away from Orthax. The players knew what they said in the resurrection ritual was meaningful along with their rolls. But they did not know they were also having to convince Taliesin. If they'd tried to appeal to Percy's soul in the wrong way, dice be damned, Percy was going to refuse. What we got was really meaningful and powerful roleplay (especially from Marisha and Laura) that did convince Percy along with successful rolls.
Being brought back did not at all weaken Percy's own sacrifice or the impact of his death. It forced him to confront everything he'd been running from. It forced him to see that there were people who loved him and would not let him throw himself away for them. They didn't want a martyr, they wanted their friend. It utterly changed the trajectory of his character.
There's only four ways I can think of on the table to bring FCG back:
True Resurrection — Incredibly expensive high level spell. They would have to find the materials as well as someone who both can and is willing to cast the spell in the middle of a war to stop a second Calamity. None of this would be easy. The ritual could still fail. FCG could decline to come back and the other players would not know that until they went to all the effort. The Raven Queen views True Resurrection as heresy which is why they didn't try it on Vax. How would a second chance change them?
Reincarnate — Lower level and cheaper spell. FCG would come back as a fleshy being instead of an Aeormaton. Would the experience live up to FCG's fantasies about it? How would it change them to realize they are truely alive, and always were, but are now also mortal? Reverse Veth story? Wild ass Pinocchio retelling? What does it mean to get a second chance but everything about you is different?
Wish — I think this would count as duplicating True Resurrection. High component cost and requires a high level magic user. (If it's duplicating a spiral there's no risk of no longer being able to cast Wish.)
Hag Deal — They do know a fatestitcher Hag who likes them and limes making deals even more. Orym may be able to just extend his existing deal. What are the consequences for the deal marker as well as FCG? Would the robit feel responsible for that person's fate? How would that affect how they feel about coming back and the meaning they need to make from it.
I don't think there's a right or best option because whatever we speculate on, the actual result will be full of meaning and very poignant. I can't imagine that Bell's Hells won't try to bring him back. They've lost so much already. They couldn't bring back Eshteross or Bertrand or Will & Derrig. They couldn't live with not even trying. Maybe their method works, maybe it doesn't. But at least they tried.
And if FCG does come back, they have to live with knowing that even though they saved their friends and put an end to Otohan, they also hurt their friends by treating themselves as disposable. They forced their friends to confront that each of them might have done the same and that's deeply unhealthy. It will change the character development tremendously.
My favorite film and play genre is where the protagonist dies (or nearly dies) (usually self-inflicted) at the beginning and has to journey through purgatory to find themselves again before they can return to the living. Films like Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006) or Castaway on the Moon (김씨 표류기 2009). Death matters because it reminds you to live. The journey is finding meaning in both life and death and coming back utterly changed.
#critical role#Critical Role Spoilers#critical role meta#critical role campaign 1#critical role campaign 3#vox machina#Bell's Hells#Percival de Rolo#Fresh Cut Grass#wristcutters a love story#Castaway on the Moon
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had some more thoughts about bell's hells current party structure
making a note: i think a lot of this stuff is consistent with the characterization thus far and i'm talking about it purely on a character level rather than including the players.
right now, especially since they're now together, imogen and laudna have made a point of prioritizing each other. they are each other's first points of contact, and they've been sticking to a united front of accepting power in the form it comes in and supporting each others' decisions in this respect. the fact that they have that rapport makes whatever they jointly say stronger in the group context, just by having multiple voices behind one course of action. sometimes others in the group agree or disagree, but never as unilaterally as the sorcerers.
i think part of the problem with trust in the party is that imodna notably have trust issues and at the same time are trying to guide how others in the group behave. they've been pushing the hardest on giving fearne the shard and having her 'accept her power'. when the others have talked about it with her, there's been more consideration of what fearne wants and her perception of what the shard will do. at the same time, laudna is actively opening up to delilah again, and felt so betrayed by ashton that she fully regressed. imogen berated ashton and is getting rid of the thing that is preventing scrying and protecting her from incursion so that she can open her mind to read thoughts again and predict what everyone is going to do. there's a pattern of them leaning into their darker impulses and now they're pushing fearne to do the same.
they talked about orym being the only normal guy in a group of time-bombs. what's notable is that the chetney and fcg have actively worked on maintaining control, fearne is avoiding the possibility with everything in her, and ashton blew up and learned from the experience. there's a split in how they are dealing with power that i think is going to be a point of contention especially as they decide what to do with the shard. who knows if they'll even have it--maybe morrigan will take it for her collection.
i'm hoping that the trust exercise next week isn't going to turn into a bloodbath, not the least because these two have some of the rawest edges when it comes to trust. obviously the source of the trust issues is not solely imogen and laudna. it wouldn't be party-wide if it was. but what are they going to do if delilah emerges during it and makes a grab for the magic items/shard while they're all suspicious. frankly, what are they going to do if imogen starts making mental incursions and doesn't like what she sees.
everyone else either has a handle on it or doesn't have gas in the tank to blow up right now. maybe fcg depending on how the stress points are doing. but still.
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ok so larry and geeta
i really hate to rag on a character other people like for my own blorbo so uh, geeta fans i am so so sorry i would recommend skipping this post, i doubt its actually this deep </3 you are allowed to like her prommy
ok but ACtual analysis time, what the FUCK is up with larry and geeta (people who have never had a shitty two faced boss before ask. /j)
larry expresses anti institutional ideologies a lot, he wants to do things outside the system hes in will allow. he expresses a lot of negativity about his position, a lot of remarks which could rock the boat. which they HAVE with the amount of people now realizing most gym leaders have second jobs. and the system might! be kinda fucked! and deal shitty pay and is just kinda a whole gimmick of an industry in the whole universe. and larry sorta points directly at that, when he actively complains about Having to be a gym leader, Having to be an e4 member.
Geeta in this position would fucking hate Larrys guts! and would also point to her just quietly not saying anything when the player likes larry most. Because Geeta doesnt just dislike larry in this position. Geeta dislikes the ideals hes lowkey pioneering here. And when the player likes larry, its like the player is siding with larry. The player believes hes in the right, not Geeta, and it directly pits the player and Geeta at odds, in a very quiet way.
Geeta cant say shit. Geeta has to keep up the appearance of one big happy league full of amazing, positive members and they're all strong and etc etc. She keeps the facade of the entire league. Whether she genuinely loves the league or not, she has to keep an incredibly dedicated face up about the view of the league. But this same rule doesn't apply in private. The gym leaders, her workers have to keep that facade also, especially with Geeta, but Geeta doesnt have to give them that same light of day. Geeta can do whatever she wants, and the gym leaders just kinda have to deal with it.
i very much believe geeta and larrys relationship proposes this really. really sad idea. because geeta is larrys boss, and they. really dont like eachother! and geeta has. power. larry is afraid she will "dock his pay" for chitchat. but really it comes down to his chit chat going against the status quo, the status quo which Geeta benefits from. And ultimately, she does have the power to dock him for chit chat. She can rob him for being honest. And while Geeta's true treatment of the gym leaders as a manager will probably remain unknown, Larry's existence really offers the idea that it's probably not a great role.
Larry is not special. And thats the problem. Hes not breaking ass to go all out on a cute gimmick, hes not loving the institution as much as everyone else is to the point of doing more than its worth. Hes just doing the bare minimum to get by. Actively complains about his job, which for people in the right spheres it could seem like a huge deal to be a gym leader, and an elite four member. like bro! thats awesome! you just get to do pokemon battles all day! but really its not. once you live in the system, and you get sick enough of it, it loses its luster, and you realize that its just another grind, dodging pay cuts, trying to please the right people and constantly bust ass just to pay for the rent on your apartment and maybe groceries.
Larry is a pawn in the same system as everyone else. Geeta needs larry to be special. But he wont be. And Geeta doesn't take well to that.
Thats why hes the exceptional ordinary man. His ordinariness is what makes him the exception.
#larry pokemon#pokemon larry#gym leader larry#elite four larry#pokemon sv#pokemon sv spoilers#pokemon analysis#also not tagging her bc it is quite objectively negative to her. im so sorry btw.#i am not here to cancel her i just want to character analysis#a fun fact about me is that i still havent played the games#u can still like her.#shes good.#which also probably a lot of this is inaccurate because of that like just going off hearsay but#hear me out#my goal is for this to read like a jack saint video#i think its also funny if geeta just has nothing good to say about larry bc hes so ordinary#come to think of it i think this is just a thinly veiled vent about my job.m#I want to clean this up but ironically. i have to go to work.#and i also want to add like 13 more paragraphs#so maybe its for the better
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The Conduit
So heres the conduit! I'm very happy with how this turned out.
The conduit as a class is best described as a "Con Based Martial with spellcaster aesthetics", since, mechanically, it fills a martial role, being a class that doesnt use resources, with a primary party focus on dealing damage, while flavor wise, it goes around slinging blasts of energy at people.
This class mechanically is very much based on the warlock of 3rd edition, with flavour and some mechanical inspiration from the Kineticist of Pathfinder 2e.
The two core design elements that I tried to stick to with making this were 1. Being resourceless and 2. Customizability.
For the first point, none of the class features are limited in uses per day. No feature adds an additional resource for the player to track, nor uses spell slots nor etc. The closest it comes to a resource is its Exertion mechanic, where certain things tire out your conduit character. Though, this serves less as a resource, and more as a temporary debuff, reducing your damage output whilst its in effect, before being easily removed.
The second point is customizability. The first element of this is subclasses. Of course, theres the variety of subclasses to pick from, but notably, is that unlike other classes, you aren't bound to picking just one subclass. From 7th level onwards, whenever you reach your subclass feature level, you can choose to continue advancing in your subclass, or you can take the initial features of a different subclass. This means while you can do a more traditional route of going "I'm the lightning guy, I'm taking lightning every level", you can also do an avatar style "Master of 4 elements" and have 4 different subclasses by level 20. Mix and match them as you like, be the "Fire and Lightning" person, be the "I control water mostly, but also a little bit of ice", combine your elements and so forth.
The next part of customizability is in talents. Talents are very much your classic invocation style feature, of which there are... like. 60 of them at this point. But! Theres a lot of variety in what they do. While you have your choices of ones that give additional powers, like flight or teleportation or whatnot, a large bulk of them are dedicated to one thing: Reshaping your elemental blast. Go out there as a fire guy and blast people with fire, then turn around and literally explode everything around you in flames, then focus your blast into a roaring line of fire that pushes everything within it towards you, and then rush the last man standing with a spear made of literal fire.
The talents are designed around not just being able to reshape and modify your blast in a bunch of different ways, but you can combine them together and do cool stuff.
Because at its core, I wanted to design this class to fill a very specific style of fantasy, and thats of the type of magic you see in some settings where its just "I control this one element", and then from that the mage turns that into a billion different things.
A fire wizard will say "I can cast fire bolt, fire ball, and scorching ray". A fire conduit instead just has an elemental blast, but they can turn that elemental blast into a bolt that is hurled at one person, or have it explode into a ball of flame, or split it into multiple beams.
Its very much a creativity first subclass, and thats whats behind its capstone! The capstone is all of this at its epitomy, the ability to freely reshape your elemental power (By freely, temporarily learning talents) into whatever form you imagine.
Hell, customizability is built even into the very core of its flavour
Yeah <3
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this class as much as I enjoyed writing it and as much as I enjoy talking about it <3
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in regards to deltarune and character agency, i always assumed the darkners' agency being tied to the lightners' will was a direct parallel to the player character's agency (kris) being tied to the *player's* will (us), and that by making this the game's narrative (darkners are on a plane below lightners and are considered, in a way, less 'real', despite several having desires to break away from this hierarchy) the game is trying to call into question our relationship with the game itself, with the world itself.
if the relationship between lightners and darkners feels unfair, then our relationship to kris should be in question as well. characters all have roles to play, but isn't that strange? why the prophecy, why the repetition, why do we, ultimately, have so much control? what gives us the right? it's all layers. us, lightners, darkners, imagine your whole world living and dying at the hands of gods that, out of boredom, could easily abandon you one day, or even destroy you? gods you were made to love and serve, and around you everyone says without them you can never be whole. who wouldn't want to rebel?
i think if you're an advocate for kris's agency, you have to advocate for the darkners' agency. for ralsei's agency outside of kris or the prophecy or anything he's meant to do. i think kris and ralsei are narrative foils in this regard, one who blindly accepts his fate, and the other who tries to escape it, a character who does whatever he's told and a character who forcefully slips from our grasp. it just feels like set up to me for a lot more than 'escapism.' i'd say the main themes here are fate, agency, choice and control. even the mystery voice at the start of the game has their plans messed with by the other voice choosing to discard our vessel. every character is grasping at something they can't have, even ralsei can't have his narrative go the way he's planned because susie keeps surprising him lol
yes that's true!!! i would also argue that 'identity' is packaged in with these themes - deltarune is written in such a way where characters are not just grappling with fates and choices outside of their control, but also grappling with roles that they seemingly cannot escape.
the darkners are fantastical & metafictional version of this idea, given that they are both objects who need to be useful in order to not be abandoned and also npcs who serve an rpg-genre narrative function. ralsei especially fulfills several rpg archetypes as the friendly healer companion and as the guide npc. every major darkner has some kind of conflict involving the role they were made to play, whether it's lancer as "the bad guy" or spamton as "the spam email." even queen, who is extremely enthusiastic about her role, runs into issues because she is so zealous that she does not grasp what the lightners might actually want and need.
susie and noelle fulfill a more realistic version of this: the labels of bully and nice girl respectively are roles that neither of them exactly chose, but through a mix of environmental & psychosocial factors and a dose of self-fulfilling prophecy, neither of them know how to escape. berdly, while mostly comedic, is also a character who deals a lot with his real-world designation of "smart guy." susie breaks loose somewhat of her role in ch1, and we see noelle start to follow suit by the end of ch2. given that their existence isn't directly tied to their roles the way the darkners' are, it makes sense that they'd start to question and challenge these first.
kris, as befitting of their protagonist role, fulfills both versions of the idea. their role in the light world is an outcast who lives in their brother's shadow, and in the dark world, they're viewed as a prophesized hero. but they don't have full agency in either of these identities at all. they're being controlled by us, and the perceptions of them as an outcast and hero respectively are imposed onto them by other people.
meanwhile, almost all the other lightner npcs are different versions of characters we met in undertale. i would argue that this is another form of imposed identity, albeit one they aren't aware of. WE view them as their identities from undertale. I highly suspect that this will be something played with a lot more as future chapters go on.
the themes of choice & control all interlock with this idea of imposed identity. in a world where nobody can choose who they are, is it possible for people to eventually break out of what they are assumed to be...?
it's a game made to make us heavily question both a lot of rpg conventions and especially how we view characters in games. I'm very excited to see how the game will continue to play with its ideas of agency. it's such a brilliant idea to tell a story about fate by explicitly tying it to the way characters and worlds are written in games, and also by tying it to audience perceptions related to toby fox's last game. it's going to be so interesting to see how the characters deconstruct all those expectations!
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if i had control over the asoiaf brand i would make a kingsguad simulator game where u play as a kg and u r just failing at ur job like the point is that u have to keep doing fuck all. like multitasking useless bullshit like stand around search the walls and interact with your terrible irredeemable coworkers and the main goal is to make sure your monarch doesnt die (accidentally walks off of a wall, tries to get their toast out of the toaster with a fork, drinks liquid fire, gets assassinated by at least 20 ppl they made enemies out of, drowns in a bathtub, has to partake in a wedding, goes hunting on mdma etc). there are different difficulty levels. like do u want an 8 year old child incest bastard king whose reign is built around the policy of outlawing beets? a hedonistic drunkard whose main ideology is fuck it we ball? another incest bastard kid that is the equivalent of the average slur yelling 13 year old cod player but with direct access to a nuclear button? and ur boss comes back once every blue moon and yells at you and demolishes all ur XP and then disappears to dick around with a character arc or something leaving u to deal with whatever machiavellian jigsaw trap is in the city rn.
#sorry player u r unable to do that task rn bc boros snored too loudly and you were unable to get any sleep#please select a different task
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okay. here is my 1600+ words essay on raphael. if anyone would like to adress anything from it, please do but keep it civil! i am so damn invested in this topic, i wanna hear everyone's thoughts
raphael rant
(DISCLAIMER: this essay was not written in order to justify Raphael as a character or any of his actions or intentions. i am completely skipping any point of morality, whether my own or just in general, i simply wanted to somehow try and write my feelings and thoughts down while looking at the whole thing from a subjective point of view, analyzing the design of the game, the plotline and his whole persona and just.. idk i wanted to see whether anyone else felt the way i do because i have been going INSANE over this for the past few days)
hi. i have come here today to express my thoughts and feelings on Raphael the cambion and "his final act". this is being randomly and spontaneously written in my notes app so please excuse the absolute chaos that this essay will be (no i won't be rereading it, fuck it we ball) (CONTAINS BG3 ACT III SPOILERS!!)
first of all — i am so beyond devastated that he gets killed. and not just by anyone, he gets killed BY US. THE PLAYER. WE AS THE PLAYER DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW THAT ENDS HIS EXISTENCE. not only is that very upsetting (because come on, hot devil man, obviously i don't wanna kill him??) but it also makes me feel so.. awful. like, everything about this is wrong and i hate the fact that there is no other option.
because let's review the course of the story in the house of hope:
- we barge into his house unannounced, uninvited, while he is absent
- we invade his privacy by entering what's his own personal space (yes, i know he stole it from Hope in the first place but that is not the point here — whatever his devil business is, it's still HIS, you know?? like he is a devil, this is the kinda stuff they do and honestly? i didn't want to stick my nose into it. but obviously i did because tHe sToRy etc etc. but still, it was his own thing that basically doesn't affect the player in any way so TECHNICALLY you dont have to free Hope. you can, if your character's moral compass advises so, but it doesn't affect the main plot.)
- we then proceed to walk around his house freely, lie to his archivist in order to look at the stuff we're already planning to steal
- we meet his personal incubus whom then we have the chance to either use or kill (i fought Haarlep so that's the point of view i'm looking from at this here, in which case i also robbed their corpse) and we rob his safe. and his whole bedroom actually. we read his journals. we use his bath.
- then obviously we go and rob his entire archive which includes all of his most precious possessions
- upon stealing, we slaughter every single creature in his house, fighting our way through to get to Hope's prison
- we then kill the two spectators he has guarding her (they were probably super hard to obtain??) and we just. free his prisoner. because yeah, that is the right thing to do, IM NOT SAYING THAT'S WRONG, but let's say we skip morality for a second, let's just focus on the fact that we have no ulterior motives in freeing Hope. we just wanna mess with HIS business because why not since we're already ruining all of his plans.
- and then we have the audacity to try to leave before he comes back and act like we were never there while his entire house is turned to shit.
now let's look at this list again but this time keep in mind the fact that at that point, he hasn't done A SINGLE THING to us. like, he has never harmed us, he treated us with (let's call it) "respect" and politeness, he was fine with our hesitation towards his deal and was willing to give us time. he was never aggressive towards us, he was never "the enemy".
and now you can say - okay wtf is wrong with you, that man literally admitted his intention of conquering the worlds, enslaving all mortals and basically becoming the tyrant of all while also most likely stealing everyone's souls for his own pleasure.
yes, he did, and yes, that's bad. but just because those were his intentions does not give us the right to do all that shit to him AND THEN KILL HIM. AS IF WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SERVE JUSTICE HERE?? YEAH HIS PLANS ARE EVIL BUT IT IS NOT UP TO US TO DICTATE HIS CONSEQUENCES. HIS PLANS WOULD ONLY SUCCEED IF WE GAVE HIM THE CROWN IN THE END, SO JUST- DON'T?? LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. IM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR INTENTIONS, BY ALL MEANS. i'm just trying to express how weird this all made me feel because not everyone decides to play as the selfless, lawfully good hero of all, protecting the world from all evil, ever! this is roleplay, afterall!
and them obviously he comes home. he is furious, as he should be. but mostly he's betrayed because, as weird as it may be, he trusted us. he admitted to growing "quite fond of us, in his own way". he thought we were some weird sort of.. acquaintances? friends maybe? (again, i know most of our relationship with him is mostly just him manipulating us but still, it's quite clear he wasn't expecting this betrayal) and we just barged in there and disrespected him in the worst way possible. so obviously he wants to kill us now and obviously we can kill him since he's just a boss in a game. and that's what we do. and then.. that's it. we're the good guys. we ruined a man's whole career because we needed one of his toys, murdered him in his own house and just left. and we're supposed to be the good guys.
i think the source of my problem is that Raphael is never introduced as evil. we don't meet him as the big bad villain that we know we'll have to kill at some point. i swear to god, at the beginning of act 3 i trusted that man way more than i trusted the Emperor and i was so close to agreeing to his deal just because i felt like i could trust him and he would keep me safe (for some reason, let's blame it on those wonderful eyes of his).
we meet him so early on in the game and he follows through all 3 acts, making it feel like he's gonna be some key character that will matter in the end - turns out, no! we were just supposed to rob and kill him. and that's literally it. talk about wasted potential.
when i first met him i got the "unofficial narrator" vibes from him, as if he was only supposed to seem intimidating and "evil" but you could sense there was so much more to him and i was dying to see how his story would unwrap. i was so ready for a redemption act, a plot twist, anything. man was i disappointed. because how cool would it be if he turned out to be a part of the "gather your allies" quest?? imagine having him as an ally and an ACTUAL friend in the end??
and don't even GET ME STARTED on what the orb in Helsik's shop shows you after you kill him. the fact that he's not even dead yet but ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY MEPHISTOPHELES. ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED. BY HIS FATHER. HE. WHAT. THATS THE ENDING HE GETS. and we are the ones that served it to him when he got RIGHTFULLY pissed at us for doing all that shit to him. and im supposed to just be fine with it?? i'm supposed to feel like this was the ending he deserved and i did the right thing??
god what i would give for a different way. idk. striking a new deal with him. saving him from Mephistopheles afterwards. REDEMPTION ARC?? ANYTHING?? NO? THATS IT THEN?
now i know that you dont HAVE to kill him, you can either agree to his deal or just ignore him and the house of hope altogether. but that just defeats the whole purpose of this character?? agreeing to his deal and giving him the crown at the end results in a pretty bad ending and ignoring him means that yeah, you don't have to kill him but you also don't get anything else from him anymore. like he has no other endings, just either death or his big evil plans. and for a game with so many choices and so much branching, it just feels almost weird that that's all he is there for. then why do we meet him in act 1? why does he follow through to act 2? (yeah, astarion, i know, but i cant help but feel like they could have put a completely different way to read his runes there if they didnt want Raphael specifically to help us) WHY ARE WE ALREADY SO USED TO HIM BY THE TIME HE PRESENTS HIS DEAL? if the whole hammer business is the only thing he's in the game for, then we may have as well been introduced to him only in act 3 during the whole Voss quest. but we knew him already and he felt like some sort of a.. friend lets call it? idk. this just does not make sense to me and makes me genuinely so sad.
as i'm writing this, it's the third day after ive completed the house of hope and i literally can not think about anything else. like my mind is just going on and on about this and i cant get over it!! im actually GRIEVING a fictional devil and i dont know what to do with all these.. thoughts.
so now i actually genuinely MISS THAT MF. I MISS HIM. GIVE HIM BACK. I WASN'T DONE AND NEITHER WAS HE. PLEASE PLEASE LARIAN I CAN FIX HIM—
okay i think thats it for now. idk i wrote this so chaotically i already forgot what i said and didnt say. im just. im feeling so many things. im so fucking sad and mad that this is how it ends. rest in peace hot devil man i will never forget you.
#bg3 act 3 spoilers#bg3 raphael#bg3 spoilers#raphael the cambion#raphael#bg3#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#bg3 act 3#larian studios#bg3 essay#baldur's gate iii#bg3 discussion
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What Do Ability Scores Represent?
Recently, Into The Odd and the players in my home game helped me realise something fundamental:
Ability scores represent how good you are at acting under pressure.
STR isn't strength, it's toughness;
DEX really means reflexes;
WIS is more accurately calm or willpower;
etc.
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It is convention in roleplaying games that your ability scores / attributes / six stats determine who your character is.
High DEX means your character is spry, capable of acrobatic flourish; a good Willpower generally means you can browbeat others / themselves / reality (if you are spellcaster) into doing what they want; etc.
There is pleasure in looking at a sheet and seeing: Oh! These are the things my character is good at.
But you do run into problems. Does my 18 DEX rogue know they are fleeter than the 17 DEX bard? What if my wizard thinks she is stronger than her 10 STR? What if I have a brilliant scheme but my barbarian only has 9 INT?
How well, in other words, does the map represent the territory?
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(Art by Vesha, who is an illustrator! source)
I've got three players in my home game:
Vesha plays the teenaged trader Khabar (and his buffalo friend / parent-figure, Paal);
Amanda plays the monkey warrior Boots-Ra, now going white-furred;
Aish plays Captain Phung.
Phung does not yet own a proper sea-going vessel. Perhaps he lost his previous ship? Perhaps he never had one. (He does have a magic five-person sampan, though!)
He is impulsive. He tends to make dodgy deals with hapless village-folk, pick up dangerous-looking objects, and flirt with dangerous-looking men.
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Mechanics-wise, here's how my interactions with Aish / Phung tend to go:
Me: Okay, make a DEX save to duck before the hunter stabs you.
Aish: Damn, my DEX is only 6, guess we'll see ...
Amanda: Oh, no, Phung!
In a previous session:
Me: Okay, I think I'll call for a WIL save, because the ghost in the goat skull is trying to possess you.
Aish: Well, my WIL is 5, hopefully this works out ...
Vesha: Oh shit, Phung!
Some sessions back:
Me: The automaton shoves you. Make a STR save? Otherwise you'll be on the ground at its mercy.
Aish: Guys I have 6 STR, I may be in trouble here.
Me: Wait wait wait. What are your stats again?
So it turns out that Aish had terrible rolls at chargen. STR 6 DEX 6 WIL 5. Just going by ability scores, Phung is an idiot weakling.
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Thing is, Phung isn't an idiot weakling.
I've got crafty players; they are pretty good at cooking up multi-part schemes. (Their go-to tactic is bamboozling rival factions to show up at the same place, then benefit from the fallout.)
Phung is generally the face for whatever racket they've got going: he's the most obvious leader (the party is generally "Captain Phung and crew"), and Aish plays him as a capable, charismatic go-getter.
Looking at the character sheet, is Aish playing Phung wrong?
Fuck that. A player cannot play their own character wrong. I reject this notion outright.
What's going on?
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Different rulesets try to bridge the gaps between player action, character ability, and abstract math in different ways: eliminating mental attributes; going totally skill-based; etc.
The ruleset that comes closest to "solving" this, for me, is Into The Odd.
Saves are the only kind of test player-characters make, in ITO and its derivatives. This is key.
The ruleset assumes competency on the part of characters; you only go to the dice if you need to figure out stuff that is out of your control.
How badly a straight-up fight goes; whether you can jump aside in time if you've accidentally sprung a trap; whether you can improvise a lie on the fly.
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Implicitly, and in practice:
The STR stat in ITO is more accurately toughness---ie: how well you can withstand a physically demanding situation you didn't prepare for.
Ditto DEX, which is an abstraction for how quickly your reflexes trigger.
Same with WIL, which is how well you stay calm under duress.
I can be sharp when I've got time and it is a subject I have experience in. But suddenly ask me to make a speech and I'm toast (low INT).
Some folks have no martial arts training but can hold their own if a brawl breaks out in a bar (high STR).
Captain Phung is a pretty cool operator when he's in control, but tends to seize up when things go off the rails (low WIL).
There's my answer to the conundrum of Captain Phung: he's a genuinely capable guy. He's just not necessarily great under stress. His reach exceeds his grasp, sometimes.
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Your ability scores don't represent who your character is. Your ability scores represent who your character is, when under duress.
In other words:
Ability scores are who your character is when they are not in control. Ability scores are your character's reactions.
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I do feel slow on the uptake, for only grokking this now.
Chris McDowall probably has a post from the mid 2010s or something where he discusses this aspect design in detail, the clever genius bastard. It is probably internalised play-culture within the ITO-and-descendants community; Emms points out that the current edition of Mothership explicitly talks about stats in this way.
Still!
Am glad to have a regular TTRPG group again, and I have them to thank for my epiphany!
(They are kickass. I ran them through Whirling Mummy a while back and it was a RIOT)
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cant find the original post but a while ago i impulsively decided to add all 32 sburb players (betas, alphas, alternians *and* beforans) to a random name generator and then randomly mix them up - characters kept their original first name and class, and took on the last name and aspect of whatever character they took the role of. this was just meant to be a funny 1am experiment so i could laugh at the cursed results
...yeah it has lore now. i cant stop thinking about it. help.
Beta Kids:
Gamz Egbert (Gamzee) - Bard of Breath. One of the most chill guys ever. Constantly zoned the hell out. Loves clowns :0) him and his dad bond over it. Hangs out with Kari a lot over vc, where it's basically just Kari talking at him uninterrupted (the kid needs it sometimes)
Kari Strider (Kankri) - Seer of Time. Gifted kid and he won't let you forget it. Permanently lives in a sweater vest even though he literally lives in Texas. Constantly annoyed by how childish and immature his older brother is. Lectures him a lot. Lectures his friends a lot. Has 'visions of his past lives' (aka occasional memories from his post-scratch/alternate timeline counterparts). Lectures his friends about how theyre real and valid whenever they make give him shit for it (which happens a lot). Dedicated pacifist - for now, anyway.
John Lalonde - Heir of Light. Golden child. Has an over-bearing mother that constantly pushes him into learning instruments/lanugages/skills, participating in competitions and events, winning award after award. Sure, he's... kinda sick of doing things all day every day, and he doesn't really want to do any of this, but... shouldn't he do it anyway? Even if just for his Mom? Hell, he can't really complain about it, right? He has such a good life! He goes horseback riding every sunday! Sure, it sucks that he doesn't have any free time that isn't controlled by his mother, but he can deal with it. It's fine.
(Things get even worse during the three year trip when Wuh Oh! Gender crisis time! Except he can’t be a girl because he was always meant to be his mom’s perfect son, and he’s already let her down once by letting her die, right? He can just… live with this. Its fine. It's not that bad. It's for her, after all.)
Roxy Harley - Rogue of Space. Grew up living on a small island somewhere in the Pacific that her grandfather 'won in a poker game' (aka probably scammed someone out of, knowing him) - or so he says, anyway. He also used to say he got Roxy the same way every time she asked where she came from! Haha very funny Roxy definitely loved hearing that and not a real response every time she asked where she came from and why she didn’t have any parents. That was great. Her grandfather died when she was fairly young, leaving her alone on the island with nothing left of him but the small inventions he left around the place to make life easier for her. She grows up learning how to maintain them, and although she tries becoming a great inventor like her grandfather, she just... doesn't have the skill. Hacking, on the other hand - shes great at that shit! She finally cracks her final goal - cracking into her grandfathers servers - just before her friend Gamz's 13th birthday, finding mostly boring shit - expenses, customer complaints, legal threats, budgets, etc. What's mildly more interesting to her, however, is the insane amount of money (if they lived on the mainland, they'd be fucking LOADED), and a .exe file for a really cool looking game, with a note from her grandfather congratulating her on finally getting in. And hey, would you look at that? Its multiplayer! And all her friends are free - even John, who through sheer coincidence found himself with a free weekend after his tutors came down with various mysterious illnesses and injuries. It's like the universe wants them to play the game or some shit! Haha wild
Alpha Kids:
Raph Crocker (Rufioh) - Rogue of Life. The living embodiment of all those business major memes. Dude is *dedicated* to the Crockercorp brand - he's determined that one day, he'll climb the ranks and become head of the company, and hopefully lead it just as well as his great-grandfather did. He unironically wears a suit everywhere, and seems committed to sounding like a 50 year old boardroom exec trapped in the body of a 16 year old - although it isn't hard to get him to crack. As much as he pretends he has no patience for his online friends and their constant stories of 'living on a remote island' or 'living in the post-apocalyptic future' (seriously guys, he isn't that gullible), he does genuinely care about them. Besides, when you're stuck in the house all day, there isn't much else to do.
Tuna Strider (Mituna) - Heir of Heart. Trans king. Exudes pure 'disney channel older brother' energy. Shithead (affectionate). Looks up to his Bro, a famous pacifist who resisted the Batterwitch's rule with a global peaceful protest... only to be killed the moment he became too much of a threat. Yyeah. Tuna has... some thoughts about how that should have gone down - most of them involving swords. Or guns. Or both. Maybe if his Bro had a sweet katana, the world wouldn't have been flooded! Although it's too late for his Bro, Tuna has decided to take up the fight in his stead by creating his own 'sick as fuck gun-sword' with whatever scrap metal he can find in the apartment (his Bro, for some reason, didn't think to leave him any useable weapons. cringe). He's got the sword part down great, but the gun... not so much.
Vris Lalonde (Vriska) - Thief of Void. The second half of the 't4t post apocalypse chaos squad', as Tuna calls them. Girl doxxes people for fun - what are they gonna do? Doxx her back? lmao good luck with that losers - closest youre gonna get is still 400 years off. Constantly daring her friends to do stupid shit and quote, 'stop being so fucking boringggg'. it usually works on tuna. sometimes on dave. she still hasnt gotten raph yet, but *one day*...
Dave English - Knight of Hope. smooth talking mile a minute inventor who *loves* trying to 'pitch' his latest invention to his friends. its become almost a game to them, where theyll take turns bidding increasingly ridiculous amounts for an umbrella that shoots seeds ('for easy planting in the rain yknow') or a beat-boxing robot ('i dont even need to explain this one just look at it man. cool as shit'). hell, even raph gets involved sometimes, usually turning it into a shark tank style negotiation. dave swears hes keeping a tally of how much everyone 'owes' him, and claims that one day hes settling that bill. his inventions are genuinely pretty impressive, especially considering his limited resources - being stuck alone on a remote island makes sourcing parts pretty hard. he probably wouldnt even need to jokingly scam his friends in order to jokingly sell his inventions - they jokingly sell themselves. he just thinks scamming people is fun.
Alternia Rapid Fire Round lets goo
Cronus Megido - Bard of Time. relentlessly flirts with anyone of a higher caste than him in the hopes that, if he can get into a quadrant with them, he'll have more protection than he would as just a solo rustblood. this strategy ultimately fails when he flirts with a particular Serket one too many times and gets killed for it. damn. oh well.
Sollux Nitram - so so tired of everyones shit. the only person that actually vaguely got along with Cronus (because he was the only person that Cronus didn't flirt with). just wants to play his pokemon in peace man stop dragging him into drama
Damara Captor - Witch of Doom. 'curses' people. seems weirdly unsurprised when those curses actually work. after cronus' death, a rumour went around that she was the one who caused it, and she absolutely wasnt denying that shit - now no one wants to fuck with her, and those that do? well, she still has her psiionics.
Meulin Vantas - Mage of Blood. Basically the only fucking thing holding this friendship group together. Despite all the complicated as shit relationships - the friendships, the exes, the mortal enemies, the attempted (and successful) murders - Meulin somehow manages to navigate the web of relationships and keep everyone relatively stable
Jaydee Leijon (Jade) - Witch of Heart. catgirl :33. Wishes she lived closer to everyone so she could see them 33: especially her moirail!! at least she still has her lusus to playfight with
Karkat Maryam - Knight of Space. basically a tboy vampire. Used to live in the caverns, but after he realised he was a dude, he began to feel uncomfortable with how oppressive and 'feminine' the caverns were. ran away. struggles with his identity - the contrast between the typical female jadeblood standards of being caring and nurturing, and the typical alternian female standards of being violent and aggressive, leave him stuck in the middle, unsure of what to do or who hes 'allowed' to be. swings wildly between being aggressive and letting himself care about his friends. he eventually figures out that gender stereotypes are bullshit and he can care abt his friends and still be a dude. hes still an asshole though <3
Eridan Pyrope - Prince of Mind. Incredibly committed to a strict moral code - which... no one can figure out. it seems to vary wildly depending on what suits him best at the specific moment. Used to roam Alternia looking for 'criminals' to 'improve' or, if that failed, 'bring to justice' with one Serket, but after an incident involving the loss of three eyes and one arm... they arent exactly on speaking terms.
Dyrrhk Serket (Dirk) - Prince of Light. i dont know how else to say it this mfer makes saw traps. he claims its to 'improve' people - by putting them through some specific trap, it... fixes a percieved issue? even if its an issue only he can see. and if they die in the trap? well, they should have just tried harder right. they probably deserved it. he isnt even doing this out of a desire to hurt people hes *genuinely* convinced that what hes doing is helping, and thinks that this is the best way to go about it. puts eridan through one one day, resulting in the loss of his vision, and after he (finally) figured out that 'huh maybe that wasnt a good idea', he... apologises. lmao just kidding that would be too reasonable - instead he mind controls one of his friends into putting *dyrrhk* into a trap of his own design, resulting in the loss of an eye and an arm. he seems genuinely convinced that this should make them even. everythings fine now, right? he scares me just on a conceptual level
Tavros Zahhak - Page of Void. hes basically a himbo im ngl. hes tall hes ripped hes clumsy and he cant help but draw attention to himself wherever he goes - attention he *hates*. moirails with jaydee. theyre cute <>
Latula Makara - Knight of Rage. clown... despite the usual purpleblood stereotypes, she doesnt really get angry all that often - most of the time, shes just vibing. but when she *does* get angry? its always for a reason. theres always a specific goal shes fulfilling through that anger (even if its just intimidating someone into doing something). i have the least thoughts about her but shes interesting
Jaiikk Ampora (Jake) - Page of Hope. Just a funny lil guy that likes playing pirates :) all the lowbloods he roleplays with definitely want to be there and don't feel coerced by being 'asked' by a literal violetblood :)) if people die during his 'games' well that sucks but he cant exacly stop playing because of a few small accidents right? ..yyeah. hes incredibly ignorant of his position in society and how that effects other people, even if (especially if) those consequences are deadly for others. after a certain point its just easier to not know whats going on than to face all the damage youve caused right. claims he loves the ocean and dreams of living in the depths. never goes into the ocean. hes a weird guy
Equius Peixes - Heir of Life. Future heir to the Alternian throne. Determined to lead Alternia into a new era of strength, no matter the methods to get there. moirails with Jaiikk (which absolutely doesnt help the whole 'Jaiikk accidentally pressuring lowbloods into doing things for him' thing. bro has scary dog privileges with the future emperor looming behind him at all times)
Even faster Beforus speed round because you cant legally make me think about them for more than five seconds
Porrim Megido - Maid of Time
Feferi Nitram - Witch of Breath
Rose Captor - Seer of Doom
Nepeta Vantas - Rogue of Blood
Kurloz Leijon - Prince of Heart
Aradia Maryam - Mage of Space
Aranea Pyrope - Sylph of Mind
Kanaya Serket - Sylph of Light
Jane Zahhak - Maid of Void
Meenah Makara - Thief of Rage
Terezi Ampora - Seer of Hope
Horuss Peixes - Page of Life
#me.txt#christ this was long#randomiser au#homestuck#i love these guys sm#they haunt me#ask me questions abt them please please pleas eim so so normal
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