I just finished Inazuma and I have words

TL;DR: Hate the story, mixed on characters, love the design and tired of being treated like a 4-year-old with a learning disability.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with what I like.

Inazuma is absolutely beautiful. I’ll admit Inazuma hits a lot of aesthetic points for me. All the islands are different enough to feel unique but they still look like they are a part of the same land. There are a lot of secrets to discover through just exploring. Each island has a world quest to help it (make it less hostile towards you) so it very much feels like you are saving Inazuma from itself.

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The puzzles are alright.

I like the cubes that rotate, I always put in the effort to figure them out properly.

Hate the ones that don’t rotate, they just aren’t engaging enough for me, so I just hit them at random and hope for the best.

The glowing floor tiles were fun, once you actually realized what they wanted you to do. A little bit too easy if I’m honest.

The electro compass isn’t really much of a puzzle, more of a fetch the nearest electrograna quest.

Those little pillars that require an electro connection are kinda boring to me, again not much of a puzzle, the hardest part is finding both pillars.

I love the new electro seelie, kinda hard to follow the jittery thing in certain parts but they make a nice contrast to the regular seelies.

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I’m very much mixed on characters.

Yoimiya is adorable. She is so bright and bubbly. What little game play we had with her was fun and I love her over the top style of fighting. Kinda disappointed she’s another pyro archer but I do admit it fits her character well. It was also wonderful seeing her just settle down and be quiet, just be a part of that moment that obviously meant a lot to her. It’s always nice to see that bubbly, energetic character have that one quiet thing, ya know. Kinda funny it’s fireworks, of all things, for her.

Gorou I like, from what little we’ve seen of him. My man killed a dude with his thighs so I’m down. I do find it kinda ridiculous that a resistance general has his whole damn belly exposed. There is also something about his voice that just does not fit. I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what exactly it is. Could be the tone itself, could be just voice acting. It sort of feels like the VA is trying to sound deeper than he actually does.

Sangonomiya Kokomi, mixed. I like her design, she looks like some sort of mystical priestess. Again something about the voice is jarring. I expected her to sound sort of airy, like she isn’t 100% present, like she’s seeing something we can’t. TBH she reminds me of Luna from HP for some reason. 

Yae Miko, I was interested because of her design. She sounds very arrogant and up her own ass, which would have been fine...if she hadn’t given us that god-awful line. “...I have high hopes for you, child. Don’t disappoint me.” Dear lord I wanted to punt her off the mountain. Or fucking what! Also she’s some bigshot priestess of the Sacred Sakura and yet she can’t do her damn job properly. Why couldn’t her arrogant ass come down from her high perch and cleanse the stupid roots? Why did the traveler have to do that shit?

Baal looks dead inside. Booba sword is overrated, get a life. I want a remach! And no cutscene shenanigans this time!

Kujou Sara seems like one of those ‘honor above all else’ characters. Those are either hit or miss with me. You have my attention for now. Also what are those shoes woman?! I’d rather you wear those leg-killing, needle point stilettoes instead of those Wish gag shoes. How in the name of all that is holy can you run in those?!

Thoma, I like him. At first I thought we were gonna get another Childe incident, but Thoma is too much of a innocent puppy to pull anything that horrible. To me he fits a fox a lot better than Childe does. Childe is a dingo and I stand behind that.

Kamisato Ayaka...hate her. At first I was neutral on her. Nothing about her design really spoke to me, but I was willing to wait and see. But then miHoYo started to violently push her friendship at us. We are totally friends now, this is the first time you see my face, but we are so totally friends now. And during her story quest everyone was like “Ah, you are so good Ayaka. You are so nice Ayaka. You are so perfect Ayaka. We all love you so much Ayaka. And oh, how could a mere merchant like myself...” Ew, go away. This is the first time I’m actively not pulling on a character banner. Normally I pull even if I’m not particularly interested in a character, because you never know how good their gameplay is until you take them out in the map. But I think I’ll be skipping this one. No thanks.

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And now, the worst part, the story.

We’ve been hearing about the situation in Inazuma for a long time. There has been also a lot of talk about how hard it is to get there. About the wall of thunderclouds that surround the islands. So to have it cut to black and then voila Inazuma, feel just so cheap.

I was expecting something. An animation. A struggle. A quest. A minigame. At least show us the horrible weather! Something! Anything!

Hell if they wanted to be assholes about it they could have made it so that if the player fails at this point the ship is damaged, you return to Liyue and have to wait until tomorrow for the ship to be repaired. No Inazuma for today. That sure as hell would have raised the stakes.

The next complaint I have is with Yurika, the 2 milion mora processing fee girl. Later on Thoma mentions that the agency people see the fees as easy money, so her attitude doesn’t make much sense. After all someone like her would want to extract as much money as she can, but you still want the people to be able to pay that.

So it would make more sense to me if she was overly friendly and asked way too many questions. She’d need to get a much information as she can and after all the previous hostility people would be very open with her. So she’d be able to quickly find out why someone is here, what they are selling and roughly how much money they’d be able to pay. A merchant selling expensive silk would have more many than a regular ore merchant. So she’d be able to extract as much money as she could.

“I know this is a lot of money, especially for something so simple, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m so very sorry.” And people wouldn’t say anything bad to her because she’s the first friendly face they see in Inazuma.

The stealth mission was just god-awful and I hope we never have to do that nonsense again.

Getting off of Ritou was a bit janky at the end, Chisato should have had a better reason for coming along. But I’m honestly just glad we didn’t get out the usual way...getting stuffed in a crate and smuggled out.

As a side note, I’m getting really tired of characters overexplaining things to me, especially Paimon. Dear lord, not everything has to be said, you can leave me to come to my own conclusions and solutions. Just please, who cares if a few player struggle for a bit, you don’t have to hold my hand through the whole thing.

Ayaka’s three were...ugh. It was basic emotional manipulation. Oh no this guy forgot about the love of his life and he’s been waiting for decades. And oh how sad this guy was so good and he helped these people so much but now he can’t remember. And oh the tragedy this guy forgot his life goal and is now hunted by the demons of the past. Oh the humanity! 

And it did not work. Know why? Because I have no emotional investment in any of these people, in this land. What is happening to the vision bearers in Inazuma is tragic, true, but that doesn’t make me want to overthrow the government. I don’t live here. I just got here. I wanna ask a question or two and then move on. None of this concerns me.

I was so happy when the traveler just flat out refused to start a revolution. And then we had to go and meet some people and immediately I knew this was going to be some oh noes the tragedy moments and then we would agree to help them.

It’s so forced.

Wanna know what would have been better?

Just as we are leaving the Kamisato estate Thoma catches up with us. And he tells us he gets it. We are an outsider and this doesn’t concern us. He was hopeful but he expected the denial. We shouldn’t hold it against Ayaka.

He joins us as a guide because he knows of the people we have to meet.

And so as we help these three we also get to know Thoma. We find out he was an outsider too. He got in just before the worst of it started and then he was stuck in Inazuma. He lost someone to the Vision Hunt. They slowly lost their mind after loosing their vision, their ambition too closely tied to their personality to continue without it (what is happening to Domon hits a little too close to home and he has to walk away, this is where we hear the story of the one he lost). And the same would have happened to him if the Kamisatos hadn't taken him in. He owes them his vision, his sanity and his life.

So this rebellion is personal for him.

At the end of the three wishes the atmosphere is somber. We tell him we understand why Ayaka fights, why he fights. We know that this is all wrong, that it should be stopped...but not by us. We came here to get a lead on our brother. And rebellion isn’t an overnight affaire and we can’t loose so much time in Inazuma.

And yeah, he expected as much. He just asks that we let Ayaka down gently. It’d be a shame if someone as idealistic and hopeful as her lost their spark.

And so we are gentle but firm with Ayaka. She looks like she wants to argue with us but Thoma shakes his head at her. So she sighs and tells us that a promise is a promise. We should come to the Komore Teahouse in a few days and she’ll have a plan for us to meet with the Shogun.

Now we can still have a character story quest with Yoimiya and we can still somehow get involved with helping Master Masakatsu, but it’s through Yoimiya instead of Ayaka.

And instead of a character story quest with Ayaka we have one with Thoma. Hell, give him a whole damn hangout event even.

You can probably guess why I’m pushing the friendship with Thoma so much.

Because. He. Gets. Kidnapped. For. The. 100th. Vision. Ceremony. 

And that would have been the perfect emotional in to get us involved in the rebellion. After all we just saw what happens to people who have their visions taken away and we are not letting that happen to Thoma, someone we just got close to.

So Baal makes it personal for us as well.

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I have a few more minor complaints.

Aoi is stupid for asking for compensation after she tells us everything we needed to know because, ya know, we could have just walked away. We should have.

The whole stupid misunderstanding about the value Kurosawa’s sword holds. Kinda obvious he meant emotional value instead of monetary.

The suspicious amount of visionless NPCs and by that I mean this is the first time we have NPCs with vision. This wouldn’t have been a problem if we’ve seen NPCs with visions in Mond and Liyue.

The whole rebellion camp bit feels incredibly rushed. We just sort of lollygag over there and then there is a fight (against Sara and her stupid shoes).

Don’t make us fight Baal just to force us to lose. It would have been better if we were forced to retreat, because Thoma was injured, because there are too many soldiers for us to handle on our own. Hell, you can have a funny scene where we straight up jump off a cliff with Thoma clinging onto us and screaming bloody murder until he realizes we are slowly gliding away and he’s not about to plummet to his death.

The Sakura cleansing quest should have been voice acted.

The Mirror Maiden and Pyro Agent are totally on a date, I will not be told otherwise.

The Voyage So Far: Water Seven

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

i’ve mentioned several times before that the davy back fight is one of my least favorite arcs, mostly because i found it very dragging and tedious when i was reading it, but there are a couple things i really like in it, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, most of them have to do with zoro. i really like his moment here with chopper, and it also showcases his ability to act as more of an authority figure to the crew, which is something that makes a substantial return after enies lobby with the matter of usopp’s return. 

zoro and sanji’s match in the davy back fight is far and away my favorite part of the entire arc. it’s just really fun.

like i said, this arc isn’t a favorite of mine, but i do definitely understand why it’s important to the saga and greater story in a couple different ways. one of them is that it’s just an easy, lighthearted detour that both gives the audience a chance to breathe and the strawhats a chance to showcase just how much they love each other and work well together- which turns into a fucking sledgehammer to the skull in the next arc when that unity is directly threatened. and the other reason this arc is important...

...is because of aokiji.

aokiji’s introductory scene is a brutal showcase of absolute power, and a very clear reminder that the strawhats are still very much little fish in a very, very big pond. all of the strawhats are impacted by this to some degree- it’s how badly they get curb-stomped here that leads luffy to come up with his gears as a way of closing the huge power gap he’s just learned about.

most important, though, are robin and usopp. for robin, this is a stark reminder of the fact that the government will never stop hunting her down; for usopp, who’s less obvious, it’s the seeds of the full-blown inferiority crisis that will later explode with the news about merry. both of their arcs throughout water 7 and enies lobby, essentially the twin emotional backbones of the saga, start right here.

i really like that the other strawhats all fell asleep waiting for robin and luffy to wake up. it calls back to them doing the same when nami was sick before drum, and also it’s just so fucking sweet. 

water seven is my favorite island, full stop. if i was going to live anywhere in one piece’s world, i’d want to live on water seven. it’s just so creatively designed and visually great, with the canals and the tiered city and the massive fountain in the middle. the supporting cast are still one of my favorites, and the culture feels very real and authentic. i just love water seven a lot.

i just said it but it bears repeating- the water seven supporting cast is really good. iceburg, the galley-la shipwrights, franky and his family, kokoro and chimney are all really memorable, and most of them are really likable, too- and cp9, with all their eccentricities, fit in perfectly. water seven’s cast is very interconnected, as well, and their relationships all feel very believable.

all of which, of course, only makes the later treachery hurt all the more.

the atmosphere of water seven is really, really well done. the bad starts slow, with the news that merry is unfixable, and then continues into an accelerating downwards spiral of hopelessness: usopp and luffy’s fight and usopp leaving the crew, robin’s seeming betrayal, the assassination attempt on iceburg, the city and galley-la turning on them as a result, and the agua laguna- it just gets worse and worse and worse.

and then, after they’ve been stomped down about as far as they can go and come out alive anyways, they pick themselves back up again and go to save their friend, because that’s what the strawhat pirates do.

i just really like getting to see these four going feral on the franky family, it’s one of my favorite scenes in this whole arc. in general, i tend to love the moments where luffy specifically gets properly angry, and we get a lot of them in this arc. 

even though the fight between luffy and usopp is genuinely very tense and  fast-paced and would probably be exciting if it were any other two characters fighting, it never really feels anything other than melancholy. i think that’s a testament to just how good oda is at setting the mood of the scene. it’s made very clear, especially through the reactions of the other characters- merry ‘crying’ is fucking heartbreaking- that this is nothing less than a tragedy. 

:(

i think it’s kind of interesting we aren’t shown franky’s face until about halfway into water seven. prior to this, we’re given pretty much only reasons to hate him, with his theft of the strawhats’ money and the franky family beating usopp to shit. but just after this point is when we start getting our first humanizing and sympathetic moments for him, starting when he gets worried and a little frantic when he hears about the attempt on iceburg’s life.

i just really, really like the way some of these water seven action sequences are depicted. they feel very tense and desperate, which matches the general mood of this part of the arc perfectly.

this panel of usopp working on merry always reminds me of the shots of the klabautermann doing the same during skypiea. i’m not sure if it’s even intentional, honestly, but it’s an extra little bit of heartbreak either way.

one piece has a lot of amazing spreads, but this might be one of my favorites for sheer impact. cp9, watching as the city they’ve lived and worked in for years burns down in a fire they set, satisfied by a job well done. it’s almost all in black and white with very little grey, which creates some fantastic contrast, and their pitch-black silhouettes against the nighttime inferno are just striking. 

this entire scene between usopp and franky, as usopp works on the merry and franky gives him advice and tries to make him see its hopeless and they kind of awkwardly, accidentally bond, is probably my favorite in the whole of water seven. it was also the scene that singlehandedly made me love franky as a character.

they have a really good, really enjoyable dynamic, and at the same time the conflict between them is real and understandable, and brought about because they’re both trying to do the right thing.

tom’s workers are one of my favorite little groups of characters in the whole of one piece’s story, and they deserve more appreciation. they’re family!! a little family of broken pieces who worked together to build something really, really amazing. and they still care about each other in the present, even though they got shattered apart so badly and none of them ever really recovered. 

this is a tremendously under-appreciated chopper moment. not only did he carry two full-grown men out of a fire, he even managed to get zoro’s sword and iceburg’s hamster. extremely cool of him.

this is also the exact moment the strawhats’ collective luck begins to turn: chopper saves the day, and nami learns that robin did what she did to protect them, and sanji gets aboard the sea train, and from there it’s a no-brakes train from their very lowest low straight to the triumph at enies lobby.

i love all the shenanigans sanji gets up to with the sea train, i think the whole sequence is absolutely one of his shining moments. it’s always a delight to see sanji get up to Sneaky Bastard Bullshit, and the whole thing is just so fun, which is a dearly needed breath of fresh air after how relentless this arc has been until this point.

robin’s little smile when thinking of luffy and when she joined the strawhats... :( i’ve noticed it’s a recurring trend for strawhats who try to leave the crew to flash back to when they joined as they do. usopp has it earlier this same arc just before leaving, and sanji does it in whole cake island in the sanji vs. luffy chapter. 

i really like how much everyone comes together at the end of water seven leading into enies lobby. after how fractured and fraught things have been throughout the arc, both within and without the strawhat crew, it’s great to see them not only all united again for a common goal, but with a huge group of allies at their backs. 

these three are SUCH a hilarious team, and i would love to see them work together again like this sometime. they’re literally just clowning on the marines all the way up the train, it’s fantastic. 

factually i understand sanji’s aversion to fighting with his hands and his fighting style is very unique and cool and also meaningful to him because he learned from zeff, and also if i remember right it’s implied he learned how to swordfight from the vinsmokes which makes it very reasonable he would want absolutely nothing to do with that skillset 

but speaking purely in terms of stupid idiot lizard brain i think sanji should fight with knives more

this is another of my absolute favorite spreads, and i think what makes it for me is the casual confidence- luffy tells zoro to cut the train, and zoro does, both of them with no doubts at all about zoro’s ability to do so. it really goes to show how far they’ve come from back in east blue when zoro couldn’t even cut luffy out of a metal cage.

there’s something very impactful about the fact that of all the strawhats, robin gets this speech from usopp. usopp, who’s had the worst falling-out with luffy in the series to date, is the one who tells robin: you haven’t left the crew yet, you can’t leave the crew yet, luffy is coming to get you. believe in him. 

franky’s “existing is not a crime” line is one of the most memorable and iconic lines from this entire saga, and for good reason. it sums up one of the main themes of not just this arc but also the series as a whole- the very same idea will come up again for ace during marineford, and in law’s backstory as well. it’s never a crime to just exist, and people should not never be persecuted for their blood or heritage. one piece doesn’t fuck around with its theming, it really doesn’t. 

to be continued next time, with enies lobby!

Hi! I would love to hear your thoughts/predictions/hopes for s3, now that we got the episode titles :D

Hey Nora!! Let me go grab my tua theory hat real quick. Spoiler alert, it looks exactly like the umbrella hat on the 3 right here:

Full disclosure, I've only got like a pinky toe in the tua fandom right now, but I'm still going to see what BS I can spin from these titles.

1. MEET THE FAMILY. The description on imdb is "The siblings get to know some more of the 43 children in an alternate timeline." So, I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Netflix likes to start things off with a bang, so s3 of TUA will probably be no different: we'll probably get a vague flashforward/flash-sideways to a "what if" scenario that will make sense by the last few episodes, and the rest of the episode will be sowing seeds for the s3 plot. The big question is, what family are we meeting? I think this episode will revolve around themes of family (no-brainer) and redefining the relationships between our Umbrella siblings in light of the season 2 finale, as well as their new Sparrow 'replacements'. To that end, initial Sparrow sibling parallels will be presented and subsequently complicated in this first episode. I also predict we'll see varying reactions to this alternate Reginald, as the Umbrella siblings are thrust into an outsider perspective that follows on from season 2.

2. WORLD'S BIGGEST BALL OF TWINE. This is going to be a multi-layered metaphor. I can feel it. It will no doubt refer to the plot that's about to unfold (is it an outside threat to both parties - the Umbrellas and Sparrows - from, say, the Commission, or is it more to do with the two rival Academies?), but I wonder if it also refers to the Wizard of Oz type scenario the Umbrella siblings find themselves in: they aren’t in Kansas anymore. (But you know what is in Kansas? The world's current biggest ball of twine.) Also kind of want to see Klaus knitting again in this ep - perhaps as a way to subtly re-address his ongoing addiction issues, especially now Ben is gone.

3. POCKET FULL OF LIGHTNING. This probably has to do with powers. Sparrow powers, Umbrella powers. There'll be a lot of new flexes in this season, so who this refers to is anyone's guess.

4. KUGELBLITZ. Here's where it starts to get interesting, because this title carries forward the subject of lightning from the last one. According to a very quick internet search, kugelblitz literally means "ball lightning" in German, and refers to both a) a glorified WW2 tank designed to take out aircraft (a certified Big Boi), and b) a theoretical black hole made from light/radiation rather than matter. So this is absolutely going to be a new, unseen power - probably from the Sparrows. Hopefully from Christopher because a cube executing a move named after a sphere just makes me chuckle. Ah, fun with shapes... But in addition, this power is probably going to pack a huge, debilitating punch to whatever narrative is underway at this point in the plot. I'll bet money that whoever wields this power is the tank character in their party or they are after this at least.

5. KINDEST CUT. This throws me back to the barber shop meta, I'm not gunna lie. Someone's going to get hurt, either physically or emotionally, and it's going to be the lesser of two evils. If it's a follow through on the barber metaphor, then Reggie will be the one to orchestrate it. Or, in a surprise twist, will he be the one gTetting hurt or being silenced? (Remember that cutthroat allegory that chases the siblings through the first season, particularly Allison and Klaus. It was about becoming voiceless.) 6.MARIGOLD. Big shout out to this post for spreading the word on the marigold symbolism. I'm pretty sure this will be Reginald backstory, which ties in with the creation of the Umbrella Academy. Also, because I'm a sucker for flower symbolism and reading into things, consider that marigolds:

a) fall into two families, the calendula which means "little clock" and the tagetes, which is named after the Etruscan prophet Tages. The Etruscans believed heavily in predestination - some events are set in stone, and cannot be changed. (Consider the way the apocalypse seems to always come for one set of siblings...) b) are named as such colloquially because they were offered in place of money to the Virgin Mary. (More divine imagery, and reference to a pure mother figure...) They are Mary’s gold. So maybe it’s a reference to Reginald’s wife, which would fit with the flashback scene we see in 1x10.  c) are a flower of duality. They have strong connections with the sun and resurrection, yet the marigold is thought to be a flower of grief because it blooms in autumn. Again, think about that flashback in the first season. At the end of the world and a wife dying, there was the promise of rebirth. d) It's also a very common flower. Remember, there's actually 43 siblings out there. We've only met 14.

Also Netflix loves to do this thing around the halfway point (usually episode 5/6) in a season they're producing. They'll switch up the narrative with a twist or turn that provides a new perspective. 7.AUF WEIDERSEHEN. Once again, a German connection. And, obviously, a goodbye. Considering the last season focused on Kennedy, are we going to get some earlier Cold War time-travel shenanigans? Or maybe WW2? I think Blackman has said something about the Berlin Wall, which is interesting. A country divided... Umbrellas and Sparrows allegory? But as an aside, I'm also kinda lowkey hoping it's a nod to Auf Weidersehen, Pet. If you don't know the show, here's the wiki summary for the first season:

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is a British comedy-drama television programme about seven British construction workers who leave the United Kingdom to search for employment overseas. They find work on a German building site in Düsseldorf but despite promises of hostel accommodation, are forced to live in a small hut that reminds them of a World War II POW camp. The rest of the series is driven by the interactions and growing friendships between the various characters.

In episode seven, three of the “Magnificent Seven” visit an intercontinental hotel. Just saying. If s3 was to go this route, my money would be on Luther, Diego and Five getting up to shenanigans in this one. I miss 125 shenanigans.😢

8.WEDDING AT THE END OF THE WORLD. Honestly, I’m holding out hope that one of our fave siblings gets married. I feel like that’s a trap though... Actually I feel like it might actually be a trap. As in, this is when the rising action really kicks it up a notch. But also remember the title of 1x01: We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals. Maybe the siblings get split up, possibly in episode 3/4, and they’re trying to reunite through episodes 5-7. Also thinking about hotels and apocalypses...  There’s something very fatalistic about these titles so far. I have a feeling that the B-plot or the subtext is going to reveal a lot more about Reginald’s history and the destruction of his world.

9. SIX BELLS. This makes me think of church bells, which is some nice continuity with the wedding of the last title. But church bells are rung for all sorts of reasons - as a call to worship, or in celebration or mourning, or to tell the time. (Thinking back to those marigolds suddenly.) But why six? Now I’m thinking of bell ringing (change ringing), and the way different bells have different cord lengths to control the time of their chimes. It’s a highly mathematical process. Will this episode be Five’s time to shine? Will he coordinate his siblings through a large attack? 10. OBLIVION. Does anything even need to be said about this one? Hotel Oblivion baby ✌✌ Any further theorising would require more knowledge of the coming plot tbh.

Edit: I wrote most of this at 2am, so I’ve just tidied it up a little. Thank you for the ask, Nora! This was fun to think about. 

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

If I were to tell you what I took away from SKET Dance from old lessons to new, I would say that it said something along the lines of this:

“You are not the mistakes you made in the past. You are not defined the person you were before. If anything, the past is something that you cannot change, but you can surpass those regrets and try to change for the better. Trauma is something that cannot be left behind, but it can get better, especially when you are surrounded by the right people and support. Helping people doesn’t always change the world, but it can change the world of that person and maybe even yours.”

That cheesy quote took a while to write (so did this whole post), but that’s because I wanted to get it right. I wasn’t even sure where to start with this post of sorts.

I will warn ahead of time that if you aren’t familiar with anime, SKET Dance might be an overreach. It does have some references that are niche, and it has a lot of “manzai” (tsukkomi/boke) jokes with tons of mentions. There is fanservice, but no more than you’d see in some of the other series that were released under Shonen Jump. Sometimes the humour and everything can be a little cringy, but I think that’s a given with the fact that you are watching anime.

(This is spoiler-free, gluten-free, no trans fat, and took me too much time.)

Story

I get that it’s like Gintama, but I wouldn’t say it’s a “poor man’s Gintama”. Instead, take it for what it is. It’s like comparing a younger sibling to the older sibling. You’re not letting SketDan shine on its own, and it deserves to.

SketDan has a really simplistic story. It’s about a school club that wants to help people. There is no big war, massive battles, or over-the-top villain that needs to be crushed. I can’t say that it’s episodic, but it definitely leans towards the more “slice-of-life” approach. It has its own arcs that come one after another in good bits and pieces. This series balances itself so well with its drama and comedy. The backstories were done so well, and they didn’t even get to all of them! In fact, one of the best ones was left just in the manga.

The story is made by the characters. It doesn’t rely on the environment or the world around them. Instead, the world to them are the people they are surrounded by. No aliens, samurai, ninjas, or great big event, it’s just them, their high school, and their unconventional club.

Characters

This has got to go down as one of the best ensemble trios in anime. All of them do get their time to develop, and they balance each other out so well. You’d think these characters were friends for their entire lives. I can’t even say who’s the best because I think they’re all the best!

Bossun is a sensitive guy who’s insecure about being the main character of this series (yes, he does mention that). He doesn’t have any spectacular “Shonen Jump” skills. He has no “bankai”, “rasengan”, or “Kamehameha”. He has a hat and goggles. His power is concentration. These are completely valid reasons to be worried about your character status because, on the surface, Bossun sounds downright pathetic (and he knows it). But through the story, you get to see why he’s actually one of the best main characters out there (even if the cast doesn’t want to acknowledge it).

Himeko is one of the coolest characters in this series. I haven’t seen a weapon of that kind… ever. She isn’t afraid to slap the stuff out of anyone and will do anything for a friend. I don’t want to get into her character too much due to spoilers, but it’s revealed early on that she is quite legendary. She’s quite important for the humour of this story. It’s often brought up that she’s the “tsukkomi” (the one who responds to the “boke” stupid).

Last but not least of the great trio, we have Switch. This is probably the character I was most blindsided by. Even though I knew his backstory beforehand (nobody stops me from clicking from “show spoiler” button, it’s quite a problem). He’s the local otaku and database. And he’s probably the most observant. Even though he never “talks”, he’s one of the funniest characters in the series even when he isn’t in the limelight. I legally cannot dig into more about his character due to spoilers. You really need to see it for yourself.

The supporting cast is nothing to put aside either. A lot of them become more and more important as time passes, and the roles they play soon play right into the main plot of the story. We’ve got someone who speaks in “yabasu”, a ghostly occult member, a samurai, a captain, a tsundere, a visual kei star who doesn’t speak in any actual language, a 1.8m tall woman who can literally murder you with a slap, a voice actress idol movie star, and a teacher who makes drugs and bombs. That doesn’t even touch on the student counsel. Anyways, discovering these characters is part of the charm.

Art

There are too many good faces in this anime. While the art isn’t always consistent, it’s never “bad”.

The faces in this anime are on-par with other comedy anime. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Music

*downloads all the music*

I’m going to pretend like I haven’t listened to some of these on repeat since I finished the anime. Not all anime will literally have a designated band that are made after the characters. That was a really nice touch. There are a ton of special insert songs that go with certain arcs too.

SKET Dance is like any other anime in a way. It benefits from having a good OST. A good OST will add to the story. It will add to the anime, and it will convey all the right feelings. It helps with the comedy, the drama, and the random “what am I watching” moments.

Seiyuu

I wanted to save this category for last. This anime actually changed the way that I look at all the main seiyuu of this anime. It’s not that often that the Vomics (voice acted comics) have the same cast as the anime. They fit their characters so well, and I really can’t express that enough. I associate their voices with their character. It’s like how you can look at a picture of your favourite character and remember exactly what they sound like (or maybe that’s just me).

I haven’t actually heard a lot of lead roles by Hiroyuki Yoshino because he has such a uniquely odd voice. I think the last anime I watched where he actually played the protagonist was Kekkaishi which was quite a while ago. He did well for that role too. Another anime where he played one of the main characters was in Hai to Gensou no Grimgar which didn’t have a very enjoyable cast compared to other anime including SKET Dance (but still worth checking out if you like tamer isekai). I’ve also seen him play a suave character, but I actually skipped most of his lines going, “Not this again.” Present Mic is a character that he seems to be popular for, but those specific niche characters didn’t give him nearly the range that Bossun did. From the moments we were laughing with him and at him to the serious moments that really made me go quiet, it felt like he was truly the character.

Ryouko Shiraishi is such an underrated seiyuu. She admits that she doesn’t have a very cutesy voice, and due to that, the number of female characters she can play goes down, but I wouldn’t dismiss how great she is. For one, she’s really good at the Kansai dialect. Second, she plays a lot of younger male characters. She makes Himeko really cute but also really tough and spunky. She carries a lot of the humour as the reactor “tsukkomi”. And if you’ve watched Demon Slayer, she plays one of the demons and is so good at it. I really like her unique voice because it deviates from the norm just like Himeko’s character.

Gintoki—I mean Tomokazu Sugita is great as Switch, and even though sometimes we forget that he’s a legitimate voice actor who can actually voice act and not just scream on command. Of course, he’s funny. That goes without saying. Almost all of his well-known characters are known for being funny. Even the guy in real life is really funny. I’m not sure how much explanation would be needed for him.

Summary

Overall, I had such a good time with this anime. It made me laugh, feel the feels, and really smile (I mean the type that people really ask you what the heck you’re watching because you’re smiling like you just watched someone you hate fall down the stairs). It reminded me of what I liked from comedy anime, but it also reminded me what I like about anime that take it to basics with just its characters. Actions and battles are good once in a while, but the characters are the heart, soul, and being of this anime. If you’re looking for a good laugh or smile with a ton of gags and jokes with a great ensemble cast, look no further! SKET Dance is here!

I’m going to recommend this anime to anyone who has read this, @azroazizah​, @brettyblease​, @tsukiomoon​, and anyone else who likes those Shonen Jump shenanigans.

P.S. It is totally worth picking up the manga after watching the anime.

Season 5 Analysis

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I am going to be applying the concept of criticism to a TV show you presumably love and adore as much as I do. If you do not want your idea that the show is immaculate to be challenged, I would not advise reading past this point.

Additional Disclaimer: This includes criticism of Nya’s arc, so if you’re the type of person to get catty about this subject, turn back now.

Mood for this season: It’s spoopy time.

You don’t need to, but if you are interested, and haven’t seen my analysis of past seasons, you can find those here:

Pilot - Season 1 - Season 2 - Season 3 - Season 4

You can also find all of these, and future installments, on my blog using the tag #analysis 

Hey everyone! I’m still doing these things! Let’s see, when was my last one? Over two years ago...? Yikes, I owe y’all an apology. I really didn’t mean to put these off that long. Anyway, get ready to hate me, cuz although (for the most part) this seems to be the fandom favorite season… I think it’s overhyped. I know, don’t kill me. I’ll explain myself. I don’t think it’s bad or anything, it’s very well structured, but I definitely wouldn’t rank it among my favorites. First, for a little context, I am making a one second of every ninjago episode video right now, so I’ve been binging the series and all it’s shorts back to back, so I think I’ll have a bit more to say about connective tissue between seasons, and hopefully you guys can look forward to more of these analyses between now and the new year when I’m releasing that video. I’m also officially a film major now so… sorry if I come of as extra pretentious or get too deep. Anyway, let’s jump into the thick of it, shall we? 

Plot

This is probably the area I have the fewest number of complaints about. This season has a breakneck pace and it keeps everyone busy. I think that’s why people like it. Everyone’s favorite has something to do. Which brings me to the question… which ninja’s season is this? Lloyd is on a lot of the promotional stuff, but he’s possessed and out of the picture for over half the season, so that can’t be right. Cole turns into a ghost, and the season is a ghost season, but that can’t be right cuz I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anyone claim it was his. Nya reaches her true potential, maybe it’s hers? Well, she does have a large b-plot, but she is consistently not a part of the a-plot. Kai has a whole thing with being protective of Lloyd, he has his fear of water, maybe it’s just another Kai season? Thing is, it’s no one’s. It is an ensemble season, and I think that’s a healthy thing for ninjago to keep doing. The more we label certain seasons for certain ninja, the more complaining we’ll get about who’s turn it is for screen time that we’ll miss out on telling a good story. Also, If the season is focused on a ninja you don’t like, you are less likely to like the season (see my next analysis for that can of worms). Again, this season tells it’s story really well. Morro directly ties into the ending of last season, and Nya’s getting water powers was foreshadowed the season before. That’s some cool connective tissue to start. The opening episode establishes the three different things the ninja will be looking for, and for once they’re actual tools instead of a series of weapons, blades, masks, whatever. I like that. Jay has some really good humor, Zane has his speech changes, Kai has his irrational fears and protective instincts, Cole has his ghost angst, Lloyd has to deal with his father’s passing, Nya is a new water ninja, Wu has a shop to run and a student to reconnect with, even Ronin has an arc about developing morals and gaining friends. There’s the mystery about how to deal with the ghosts, what the rules are, there’s the leader subplot, the ninja’s money situation, and lore of the different realms, they even worked in Skylor and Borg, there’s a lot of cool stuff going on. This is a tightly woven script that manages to include a lot of new concepts that you get pretty quick. I don’t feel like there’s even that much fat to cut. The opening is a little slow and strange, and the cloud kingdom episode feels a little unnecessary, but I do like the idea of visiting a different realm early in the season so the audience isn’t caught off guard in the climax. Again, the plot all works for me, it’s the other stuff I find myself pretty meh on.

Characters

Ronin

I’m pretty sure Ronin is the only new (non villain) character introduced. I like him a lot. Ninjago needed a true wildcard to shake things up and be unpredictable. I also think he’s pretty nicely woven into the action of the plot. I think his introduction is a bit strange. Like, the ninja already know him, but we’ve never seen him before? Just the way they talk about him sounds like they’re quickly recapping who this guy is for those who missed previous episodes. It’s fine if the ninja already know him but either 1) Introduce or foreshadow him a season earlier or 2) Introduce their dynamic to the audience before it becomes plot relevant. Maybe the ninja are grumbling about him being a nuisance while tea shenanigans are going on or something. Or maybe you have a scene of him stealing the scroll and making snarky remarks about the ninja while he does it. Idk. just something so his sudden plot relevance isn’t out of nowhere. Also, I don’t hate his and Nya’s dynamic, but I know a lot of people love it, and I’m just not totally here for it. Is he supposed to be a father figure for her? Mentor? Frienemy? Just plain friend? (love interest???) it’s not super clear and I could have used some clarification. I also like his use and tie to the next season, so overall, well integrated character.

Nya

I’m adding in Nya here cuz she goes through a major character change, and how she’s handled is one of the things that rubs me the wrong way about the season. A lot of people will probably disagree and/or hate me for this section of the analysis so… here we go! The thing she has to get past to reach her true potential is fear of failure (supposedly) and the solution to that is to just… not care as much? First of all, I know this isn’t supper important, but the fun thing about the ninjago elements is that every elemental master matched up personality wise with their element. Jay is the energetic master of lightning, Kai is the hothead master of fire, Zane is the calm and calculating master of ice, Cole is the strong and dependable master of earth, Lloyd is the literal child master of energy. This especially goes for all the new season 4 masters. So what qualities are often associated with water personalities? Well, serenity, control, flexibility, elegance, patience… calm. You know, like a Zane type character (the element directly adjacent to hers). These are things that Nya isn’t - or at the very least don’t define her. (there’s also something to be said about water and its ties to more feminine qualities, which Nya has been actively shown to reject, but I won’t go into that rant here.) She was designed as the fire master’s sister, and when you try to fit a fire personality into a water shaped character mold… it doesn’t exactly mesh well. It doesn’t make sense. But, like I said, whatever. Maybe that’s the point? Like she has to change her personality to be more in tune with water? Sure. But let’s talk about this fear of failure thing. Because that’s the stated thing that dialogue tells us she needs to overcome. But when has Nya ever been afraid of failure? Fear of failure means avoiding doing something because of fear. Nya is ridiculously persistent, always has been (you know, fire personality). She tries training when no one tells her to, she makes her own alter ego to try and be a hero and save the people who would constantly tell her she wasn’t ready. Wu says she only wants things that come easy, but that’s never been her character before now, she has carried the team with her tech, research, and covert ops that no one forced her to do, all things which are not easy. Fear of failure is usually characterized by what if questions. If Nya is so afraid of failure, why don’t we hear her saying stuff like “but what if I’m not strong enough, what if I can’t save them in time, or worse, what if I lose control of my power and end up hurting people?” Cole shows much more of a fear of failure this season surrounding his insecurity about being a ghost. He wants to sit out from missions because he’s not sure he’ll be able to do it - he’s afraid of failure. But whatever, the writing isn’t clear at expressing her true setbacks, but she does display a real problem that a lot of people have and I think could have been well done if set up correctly. She shows an undying persistence that gets her too close, and makes her increasingly incapable. She lets her frustration hinder her progress (again, fire personality trait), and I think that’s interesting because I don’t think ninjago has done this character arc yet. The supposed solution to this problem is that she just needs to… care less? And yes, I kind of see where they were going with this, we sometimes cloud our natural potential by thinking about it too much, but saying “you need to stop caring” is the absolute wrong way to word it. Caring is not her problem, the problem is her control over the emotions that come from her caring. Caring is a good thing, and teaching kids that if you’re ambivalent about your problems, they’ll go away is not a good message. What she needs to do is take a step back. She needs to take a break, stop to think, and look at the big picture instead of hyper focusing on the roadblock directly in front of her. The usual and much better wording of the moral I think they were going for is “stop overthinking things”. Teaching kids to look at a problem from a different angle and give themselves time to cool down is a great thing. And just think of it, in the climax she could have this ah-ha moment where she steps back and looks at the bigger picture - the whole town, surrounded by the ocean - and gets the idea to sink the preeminent into the water, you could even easily tie that back into the bucket exercise, and that’s what triggers her true potential rather than the current… I’m honestly not sure what. Random flashbacks and the end of the season approaching quickly. Alternatively, you could tie it more directly into samurai x, and make her struggle with letting go of the past and allowing yourself to give up something good in your life to progress to something better. Anyway, I don’t think this was a bad decision long term, she needed to be solidified on the team as a full fledged ninja, I just think this season doesn’t handle the transition that well. Anyway, whatever, I’ll be waiting for your hate comments in the notes.

Romance

Um… there’s none this season? Like there’s a few Wusako moments that are still as weird as they were in season 2, but they’re really not prevalent. There’s also the Jay seeing the future thing which has some weird implications next season (again, some interesting connective tissue between seasons), but that’s about it. Maybe that’s part of why I don’t love this season? Like where’s the pixane? Lol, I’m kidding. But maybe that’s why a lot of people do like it. If you don’t like the canon ships… this is a nice little safe haven for you. Rare for a majority of the series.

Villains

So Morro is a good idea… in theory. I know he’s the fandom’s favorite edgy boy, but idk I think the brand of angsty teen they ended up with was more of an angsty 13 year old than 17 year old. His voice is really grating and I always want to yell at him to just… go get some cough drops. Stop throat screaming, use your diaphragm man! Also, everyone goes on about his last minute redemption, but as far as season 5 goes, he has like half a second of a change of heart. Literally, when Wu comes over and he’s drowning, he’s still being a persistent little idiot like “you never cared about me nooooo!” and it’s only at the last possible second that gives him the crystal, and even that he does it kind of saltily. The preeminent is pretty cool, I like her concept, her design, all that. All the other ghosts are fine I guess. Nothing super memorable out of them, although their aesthetic, especially when there’s a bunch of them swarming around is pretty cool. One last thing was I never understood how Morro “becoming the green ninja” worked and what exactly it was that… did for him? Like he didn’t actually get the power of energy, right? I don’t remember him using it. Did just him defeating Lloyd make him the green ninja? How does that transfer work? And why did he need it to take over the world or realms or whatever? Like I get that it’s supposed to give him more power and what not but idk, it wasn’t super clear. That’s a minor thing though.

Climax

Pretty cool. I like the ATMOSPHERE. Green light is a hard thing to use and justify correctly, but it works really well here, especially with the dark kinda gray blue sky complimenting it. When the preeminent starts walking into the ocean, it’s genuinely terrifying, but you understand exactly how it works and why she’s strong enough to do it. Nya’s true potential is again a little out of left field and could have had some better motivation put behind it. Like what is it Nya learned in that instant? To not be afraid to protect people? She’s… been doing that. Idk. I’ve hit on that enough for now. Overall, there was good variety. I like the green ninja fake out, I like the realm hopping, I even like the little Garmadon visit and Lloyd getting the robe. I feel like we didn’t need a part one and two, you could have had different titles. I mean come on. But hey, now we know, if Pix had only been there, the whole climax would have been wrapped up in like 10 minutes apparently. Pix for the win.

Humor

Really good. Like I’m surprised how much I laughed. Jay wasn’t annoying humor, it was good stuff, there were some good running gags, there’s a solid fourth wall joke about who the lead ninja is at the beginning of the season. Overall, I am pretty impressed. My favorite joke was perhaps the bit where Jay is sarcastically positive, the voice acting is just really solid. Then again, there’s also the whole Borg scene where he roasts half the ninja, that’s solid stuff right there. There’s just some really solid character interaction this season and the humor feels a lot more natural and less forced.

Drama

Okay, we’ve got a lot this season. Y’all know how I feel about Nya’s arc by now. It does not work for me. Ronin’s relationship with her is alright, but kind of comes out of nowhere. Ronin’s solo plot about kinda working for the ghosts works. Cole’s ghost angst works for the most part, although I wish he would have actually skipped a mission and then gone in to help save his friends once they can’t do it without him. That was probably the most solid drama of the season. The other main thing we have this season is Kai’s whole… fear/protective streak. This also doesn’t really work for me. Like, I get that Lloyd and Kai are friends and stuff, like his whole true potential was centered around Lloyd. But like, why does it have to be framed so weirdly? Sometimes in trying to make it seem like Kai is protective of him, it seems like the other ninja just like… don’t care about him? Not all the time, but there are some weird vibes. Also, it doesn’t really go anywhere. No one learns anything about themselves from this subplot, nothing comes of it, there isn’t really a payoff. Also, Kai has yet another irrational fear, this time of water, which really comes right the hell out of nowhere. They try to explain it away like “Oh, Kai feels powerless and so water can get to him” but like… what? That’s the exact situation he was in at the end of season 2 and he seemed perfectly content to literally swim across the ocean (which um… what do you mean the sworn protector of ninjago can’t swim?). Where is this coming from?! Again, it doesn’t really go anywhere, there’s not a point where he has to learn to confront it or he grows because of it. It’s just pointless stuff added cuz the writers like giving Kai vague trails to try and develop him. The cloud kingdom is kinda cool. That last minute twist about them working with Morro is… stupid and unnecessary though. 

Spotlight Episode

I really like the Spinjitzu master tomb episode. Some cool riddles, I like the first two rooms a lot. I do think the third room is a bit strange. Like, the clue was “don’t look ahead” and the solution was to look beneath them, which is the exact same solution as the previous room. Like, you already have magic ice that shows the future, why not play into that? Don’t look ahead could maybe mean don’t look to the future, the opposite of that being the past. Maybe they have to draw on their past adventures to solve it somehow? Learning from the past is a good lesson, right? But overall, I really like it. Some real solid humor this episode. This episode has the sarcastic Jay optimism, Kai totally stalling for time, Zane dealing a pretty sick burn on Cole, just a lot of fun stuff. I like it. It just has great energy and nothing feels like it’s drawn out for too long.

Misc

The aesthetic this season… can be inconsistent, but the main ghost vibe displayed in the opening theme is really solid and I really like it

Speaking of the opening, Ghost wip is great and the opening in on par with last season’s (which is my fav) for sure

Ice age references… okay.

Chima references…. OKAY...

Okay, but like Deepstone can… kill ghosts? Or not? Is it just something ghosts can touch? It’s supposed to be like water in weapon form, right? Like that’s how I understood it when they first introduced it. Wouldn’t the deepstone bars kill Ghoultar then? And then like, Cole’s bike is made of deepstone. He uses it as a weapon. Wouldn’t it kill him? It kills other ghosts when they touch it. How… how does it work?! I need answers!!!

The captain of the steam boat says they’re going as fast as possible, but later Ronin comes in and cranks it up like twice as fast… that always bothered me like, why would he lie about that? Who is this captain and why is he so chill about everyone’s lives?! And then later Wu cranks it up yet again, like the ship had slowed down to it’s previous speed. What the hell is happening with the controls of this ship???

So pissed that the nasty CGI nightmare cloud monster that chases the ninja is named Nimbus. Totally forgot about that. I have an OC with a cat named Nimbus… I promise, there is not going to be a stupid twist bout the cat being the monster thing in Mists of Fate. That would be very stupid.

I was all excited that season 13 gave us minecart chases, but I totally forgot season 5 gave us one first. I really like the return to the caves of despair btw, good reuse of a known location.

How many times this season did we do the: 

Kai: Oh, I don’t like water, I can’t do it uwu  Cole: ...You serious?

Thanks for reading! And if you got this far… I don’t know. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have any! These are just my opinions, so don’t think too much of it if you disagree.

-Kitten

New Year’s Resolutions: Group commentary

Welcome to the group commentary! As I said in the winner’s post, there were a lot of white cards in the inbox, and that’s an obvious sign that white needs a small rework to keep up with its buffed up brothers.

@misterstingyjack​ White does lover its planeswalkers and tying card draw with a powerful card type could be reasonable since card draw is white’s main weakness. However I would like it more if this loyalty extension was offered by a creature, so at least you can keep the game rolling.

@askkrenko​ MaRo has mentioned the “elemental” supertype quite a few times in podcasts etc, but its really too late to add this element to the game. But we’re here to dream and create, and Strike Twice would be a sick card, if not a staple, in that parallel universe. Also this is the most badass a Pichu has ever been XD

@ignorantturtlegaming​ There were no additional notes other than this crazy card in the inbox, so I can only guess that the creator wants more group-hug effects in red. I want to say Fires of Renewal is on the expensive side, but the effects it offers unconditionally are all very impactful. The Melvin in me appreciates all the instances of “2″ in the card!

@wolkemesser​ gave life to an ancient mtg character from the Shattered Chains book and boy, she’s a truly solid card. Ordando has decent stats and gives some additional staying power to monowhite decks. I like the whole flavor that is so tough that she can protect others and come back again, but the execution feels a little off to me, as discard and mill decks can abuse her in non white ways. Since we’re going for the flavor win, I would like it more if in order to protect something she exiled herself with a promise counter (which in turn allows her to be cast from exile.)

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ A disgustingly evil win more card? Sign me up! The philosophy of the card plays very nicely in black, especially with low cost high stated creatures that ask for their tribute every upkeep! Counterspells in black are a big stretch in my opinion, but no one can’t deny this card is a big flavor win!

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion Speaking of counterspells, here’s another suggestion for them being in white. Many protective cards can be treated as counterspells, so we could find a loophole and treat this as a very wide protective spell. I think we could have cards like this in the future, but it’s still treacherous terrain because they must be so efficient that might replace blue’s role in the game.

@naban-dean-of-irritation​ I have mixed feelings about Korair. Flavor text matches with the card’s name quite nicely but it doesn’t connect with the actual gameplay. Also venturing into the unexplored “emblems matter territory” is surely exciting, but I don’t like the fact that is creates emblems by itself, and with that ease to boot!

@mardu-lesbian​ Hindsight is pitched as the blue/red shared keyword ability. I view it in a positive light, meaning I think it’s both flavorful and makes sense for those two colors, but it’s a bit unexciting that it matters only once in the creature’s life on the battlefield, while other shared keywords are combat related and have a greater impact in the game.

@deafeningsandwichpeach​ Hexproof for player is a rare sight, usually preserved for white and green, but there’s also Leyline of Sanctity and Witchbane Orb and this changes things to the point I would even tell this card is overcosted. Cost aside, I really like Seal into Darkness!

@snugz​ I would really love blue getting a combat ability that’s not straight evasion, but going full throttle to lure all creatures is a bit much, given that existing cards are usually uncommon. It could be like old fashioned provoke ( forcing a one on one fight) or even a numbered mechanic, like lure 1 or 3 etc, forcing 1 or 3 creatures to block.

@hypexion​ ​  Lapse of Certainty is definitely  a card, but there’s a reason why it was not repeated. Here, Mean’s to Delay, like Unexpectedly Absent, is an X spell where usually the correct way to ply it is for X=0, turning it into a slightly better counterspell. Not against counterspells in white, but be cautious.

@deg99 With this Angrath design, deg wanted to build more on the Rakdos color combination, through caring about stolen creatures and you know accidentally sacrificing them before returning them to their rightful owners. The power level is quite high, but it’s so enticing that I would gladly playtest this card to enjoy the crazy ride!

@hiygamer​ Sooner or later, we will see this card printed, I’m sure! When that time comes, I hope it costs a little less, and also that it has an equally inspiring flavor text! Really nice design!

@thedirtside Our friendly snailbear wanted magic to be a little more weird, and what’s weirder than a procrastinating Eldrazi, looming over the battlefield, doing it’s own things. Given, its practically impossible to interact with it and this takes away a lot of points per say, but I love suspend and bizarre triggers that feel like a disturbance in the Force. But we must cling to simpler things to make it happen.

@stormtide-leviathan​ The proposal of this design is sponsored by “Horse United” inc and pushes WOTC to pass an errata to merge all Pegasi, Unicorn and Horses into one race XD On the actual design, Swifting Steed is a real treat for limited!

@teaxch​ here tacling on the big issues of mtg, the shared keyword for blue and black! Feint is surely flavorful and it would make combats really interesting, but the main requirement for a shared keyword is to be able to mix with the other established keywords of the color pair. Blue and black have a lot of evasive abilities so an ability that matters when you’re blocked might not get the green light. That said, I definitely want to see this ability here and there in sets. A little guile spices things up! Also, neat flavor text XD!

@dimestoretajic​ With a quick read I was quite thrilled, but then I realized that you had collective care about itself. That leads into being a bit clunky, and also it goes from 0 to 100 in 1 sec because it’s either you have not 3 collective so no draw for you, or you got 3 , which means 3 triggers and thus 3 cards!! With a small tweak, this brave insect could be holding the fair’s coveted trophy!

@corporalotherbear

​ It’s true that there are some dryads that care about multicolored shenanigans, and I really like Manatwist Dryad playing into this space and establishing this trend. Because if green can’t care about multicolors, who can?

@fractured-infinity​ Edit: I forgot the commentary for this entry last night. My sincere apologies! A new card type is always an exciting gift for our inbox! Strongholds can die from damage like planeswalker do. They make sense in white and I could see them secondary in blue as large structures are products of community and science.

Watcher’s tower has two passive abilities, the vigilance granting requires 0 effort, while the buff requires you to “man” the stronghold with the garrison activated ability. I wish phasing was still relevant so the creatures would phase out instead of exiling themselves, because things can quickly get out of hand with blink shenanigans.

The +2/+2 buff might be a bit much because it isn’t that hard to get it online on turn 3. But all in all, Watcher’s Tower is very interesting and I hope Wizards will explore this space in the future.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff Sometimes you see a mechanic and it’s not in the color it deserves to be. Mentor in Green seems like a perfect fit, and the non human clause gives this Leonin a greater sense of camaraderie. All in all a good design and future proposal.

@gollumni​ I saw this card in a very positive light with the first read. I like investigate after all, and I had good memories of it pulling its weight in Shadows over Innistrad, giving White a taste of the forbidden fruit that is card draw. But with the second read, I feel the card is too efficient, taping two creatures and two lands for an instant speed draw is quite good, and adding the overrun option felt a bit too much. But other than power level concerns, I really dig this design.

@corillion​ This might seem like an everyday card without context, but the change suggested involves first strike and double strike being relevant in fights. I’m all for it, but I got a feeling that the closer we will get to this is like a first strike lord that allows only first strikers deal damage in fights.

@kytheon4-4 said let there be hatebears, but we got hatebirbs instead XD but instead of harassing your opponent, this feathered boi plainly protects your side of the board so you get to play uninterrupted, but only on your turn. Fair and square.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ Ending the same way we started, with planeswalker support, this time in Red, as it is proposed to be the secondary planeswalker matters color. I can get behind this idea, as red has a sense of wanderlust thematically, and in terms of game, it cares about noncreature spells so planeswalkers are game too. On the card itself, the etb trigger is quite nice, even dealing two damage is fine. About the alternative loyalty ability, a mere ping is something that you would encounter on a weaker planeswalker, so it could at least be a + 2 loyalty ability, to ensure the survival of your planeswalker, as red isn’t really good at defending.

Warning(s): NSFT/18+. Vaginal sex, semi exhibitionism? Corny porn plot. 

Pairing(s): Crypto/Wattson. 

Author’s Note(s): A commission for my lovely @dargonwolfeh! Had so much fun writing this continuation of their fic. My first ever fic with two canon characters together! Someone pinch me lol. 

On paper, Crypto and Natalie are not living together.

They could file for it if they chose to. Could go the Apex Execs and tell them they needed one less suite. It might be the smart thing to do, considering Natalie never spends time in her own apartment anymore. Crypto’s hesitant to share his business with others, though. Especially the people he’s hellbent on taking down. Especially since the marketing team would surely publicize them as ‘star crossed lovers’ should they ever be placed on different squads in the arena.

So, they say nothing, even though everyone knows they live together. Everyone knows they’re a couple. Even if they themselves haven’t quite realized just how deep they’ve sunken.

Until now, anyway.

Crypto stares into his medicine cabinet, hand frozen on the little handle attached to the mirror. He’s not very particular about grooming himself. Mila Someone he knew before taught him that he needed to use a different soap for his face than he did his body and that’s… about the extent of his self-maintenance. He’s bought the same shaving cream, the same 2-in-1 hair and body soap, and the same face wash for… years.

Therefore, the bubblegum pink moisturizer tucked neatly against his shaving cream is definitely not his. Neither is the ‘normal to dry’ face wash, or the gummy women’s multivitamins. As a matter of fact, now that he looks at it more closely, a majority of the things in his medicine cabinet don’t belong to him. Awhile ago, he might have been bothered by that, but now…

The front door of his apartment swings open and shut and he doesn’t panic. Doesn’t think it’s the syndicate, come to arrest him because they know who he really is. He knows who just got home, who’s blabbing on the phone.

“Non, Octavio, not like that!” Natalie says. Crypto closes the cabinet, forgetting why he opened it the first place. When he sees his reflection, the dark dusting of stubble beginning on his jaw and his upper lip, he remembers. He decides he’ll say hello to his girlfriend before he takes care of that.

He takes a step away from the bathroom counter, peering out the open door of the bathroom. Natalie is shrugging out of her coat, holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear, the opposite hand cupping it to make sure it doesn’t slide as she strips out of her day clothes. Her sunny hair tumbles out of its hood as she does, the short locks brushing just beneath her ears, and his lips twitch up at the sight of it.

She turns and beams as she sees him. She finishes hanging up her coat, tossing it carelessly over the rack and lifting her head, holding one arm out to him. Shirtless, Crypto exits the bathroom, looping an arm across her shoulder blades to tug her close. He kisses her forehead in greeting.

“Salut, mon amour,” she mouths up at him. The grin fades from her features and her eyes turn towards the chatter coming from her phone. “Okay, well, that means you didn’t plug it in to the right port.”

Crypto loudly snorts, making Natalie press her lips together to hide a laugh. She presses a finger to her lips, silently shushing him. Those pretty blue eyes flicker over his chest, over the dark line of hair on his lower belly. He smirks at her, reaching up to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, the rest of it falling over his knuckles.

The tips of his fingers dance down the side of her throat and Natalie shudders. She takes a step away, trying to put some distance between them.

Their match from last week flashes through his mind. She certainly hadn’t backed off him while he was trying to talk to Ajay. They were very lucky that she was distracted by the match – or that she was willing to turn a blind eye to their shenanigans. Though his expression stays neutral, Crypto snatches Natalie’s hips, pulling her close.

“Y-You’re working with an older model, Octavio, it’s not going to go as quickly as the newer one,” says Natalie, the little stutter at the beginning of her sentence making him quietly smirk. He dives down, licking a stripe up the same place his fingers were, and she shivers against him.

“If you want it to work, you have to have patience,” she continues as Crypto traces the band of her pants, all the way to the back. The prominent curve of her ass feels perfect in his palms and he squeezes, tugging at the stretch waist she wears.

Natalie always has a problem finding pants that fit. Her ass isn’t proportionate to her waist, sticking out further than any smaller size jeans would allow. She likes the stretchy ones for that reason and he’s grateful for that now, snapping the elastic band against her.

Natalie squeaks and Crypto backs her up, against the couch. Their legs knock as they move but when she finally hits the cushions, she falls into them with a plop. Her dark eyes twist up to him and, oh, for all she seems so sweet, he knows that look.

“Non, mon amie, I’m fine,” Natalie suddenly breathes, remembering Octavio is on the line. Her throat flexes and Crypto smirks, palming the bulge in his sweatpants. Her eyes blink to his crotch then back up to him, like she’s waiting for him to make a move. He has every intention to. “Uh-huh. Okay, well, let’s try this again.”

Crypto reaches down, manhandling her onto her knees. She hangs onto the back of the sofa with one hand, clutching her phone with white knuckles in the other. He grips those stretch pants, pulling them slowly down, and biting his lip at the way they stretch over that juicy round ass of hers. Natalie likes boxer briefs, especially ones with interesting patterns. Today, the underwear has bananas as they design, peeled or otherwise. The innuendo isn’t lost on Crypto and he snorts. Natalie glances over her shoulder with a sneaky grin.

“Cheeky,” he says, tugging those briefs down. Her pussy is perfect, pink and open and waiting for him, surrounded by golden curls, and Crypto’s mouth waters. She shivers as cool air caresses her and he’s right behind it, spitting onto two of his fingers. He holds her open with his opposite hand, fingers sinking into the pillowy flesh of her ass, spit dripping onto the couch as he presses his wet fingers against her.

“T-Then you just-” Natalie begins, and he can’t see her face, but the little hitch of her breath tells him all he needs to know as he pushes his fingers past her outer lips. They clutch her clit on either side, and he sees the muscles in her lower back clench. “Just plugitin.”

She chances a look over her shoulder once again and Crypto smirks. She’s so eager already, so ready to be fucked. He doesn’t have nearly as wild of a sex drive at Natalie – had to remind her during the first few times that foreplay’s important, that having her soaked and wet and trembling made it easier for him to fuck her to pieces. He’s tempted to remind her again, but he can already feel her cunt lubing up his fingers with every stroke of them against her. He should have known she was a little bit of an exhibitionist, sought a little thrill after she sucked the soul out of his dick in the arena.

Crypto pushes one finger up to the knuckle inside her and she squirms, clearly wanting more. He watches her, waiting.

“Oui, you put in the password? And it’s-” Her jaw drops as he slides a second finger in on one of his thrusts, stretching that sweet cunt. It hugs his fingers beautifully and the thought of having it on his dick instead makes Crypto bite his lower lip. Natalie thrusts her ass back into his palm, always greedy, always hungry for more. She’s so used to being on top, to riding him, fucking him open, and he can feel her trying to take control even though she’s the one vulnerable here. “I-It’s still not working?”

Her head drops as he pulls his fingers out, only tugging his sweats down low enough to free his cock. He slides his wet fingers up and down the length of it, before raising the same palm to spit in it once more. Natalie’s been like a bunny recently and Crypto thinks he should have had the foresight to hide some lune underneath the couch.

He didn’t, though, so he pumps himself, biting his lower lip, waiting until he can hear his fist moving along his shaft, until it sounds wet and sticky. He rolls back the foreskin, pressing the blunt head to her weeping hole. Natalie tenses all over and he peers up at the back of her head, waiting. When he doesn’t move, her head snaps towards him, and she gives him a glare that could turn blood cold. He chuckles, obliging her with a slow roll of his hips, seating his cock inside her.

Natalie bites her lower lip, hard, and he knows he’ll be able to see the indentation of her teeth in the pink skin later. He doesn’t care though, pulling her back onto his cock, careful not to clap his hips against her ass, even though he wants to.

“Octavio, listen, I-I just got home.” Lie. Crypto would smirk if he weren’t so entranced by the hot, velvety heat of her. She starts fucking herself onto his cock, hips driving back, and Crypto leans back, watching her work. “I will come and take a look later.”

She rests her forehead against her clenched fist, thighs scooting apart, giving her a wider range of motion. Her cunt makes white, creamy streaks on his dick and Crypto bites his tongue, driving forward. Natalie slams her fist against the back of the couch as he piledrives into her cunt, the blunt tip hitting that spot that he knows makes her see starts. “Oui! Ouiouioui, okay, au revoir!”

She tries to push herself up onto her forearms, tapping desperately at the end button on her phone. When it finally beeps, signifying Octavio can no longer hear her, she groans, low, and loud, and long, and the noise goes straight to Crypto’s dick. He mouths at her shoulder, moaning himself, grinding his cock hard and fast into her cunt.

“Crypto!” She gasps. He hooks an arm around her torso, grappling with one of her breasts through her top. She slips the hand that had been holding her phone down, feeling where they’re connecting. The noise he makes isn’t human, the fat of her ass quivering with every clap of his hips against hers.

She drags those fingers up, toying with her clit as he pinches a nipple through her top, and she moans something like his name. When he glances down, he sees sweat pulling in the small of her back and he sighs, biting her shoulder. He sinks himself down to the base and grinds his cock down, against that spongy spot he found with his fingers earlier. Her voice grows higher in pitch, fingers frantically moving on her clit, and Crypto shudders, closer, close, fuck, he’s so close-

“Crypto!” She yelps and without warning, her cunt constricts around him. His jaw drops, the scorching heat of her closing in. He thrusts his hips forward once, twice, before suddenly pulling out, grabbing his cock – fucking soaked, still attached to her cunt by a sticky trail – and jerks it frantically. He throws his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he cums onto the globes of her ass.

They’re both panting, trying to catch their breaths. Her blonde hair somehow looks crazy, even though he hadn’t fucked with it the whole time she was on the phone. She looks over her shoulder at him, beautiful, gorgeous pink lips parted to suck in breaths of air.

“You… are mean,” she groans, flopping onto the couch. Crypto snorts, smirking at her.

“Karma is mean,” he says, nudging her over on the couch with a knee. He knows they’ll regret it later, that his spunk is smearing all over the cushions, but she looks so perfect, so fucked out. He squishes her into the couch, joining her.

“You liked what I did in the ring,” whines Natalie.

“And you didn’t like what I did just now?”

“That’s not what I said, mon amour,” she grumbles, turning to nuzzle into his chest. Crypto kisses the top of her head, looping an arm around her, and reaching up to ignore her phone as it starts to ring again.

aaa tell us about hitori!!! what’s their ultimate? do they have a backstory?

Cjfjdjdh thank you so much for asking anon!!! Please I have so much to say about this liddol guy,,, I love him so much ohmygosh-

Ok, first, here's a picture of his not danganronpa sprite!!

I know he looks really different but I couldn't get his full design on the sprite, so I hope I matched the energy! Alright, I'm gonna put everything about him under a read more because I could talk about him for ages of my gosh-

Tw/Cw: Caps, cursing, dr1 and sdr2 spoilers, chapter 5 shenanigans

Ok, as you know, his name's Hitori!! But his full name is Hitori Yuko!!! His ultimate is the Ultimate Hope, but in a sorta different sense compared to Makoto or Nagito. It's weird to explain, it's more of like an ultimate positivity thingy? But it's also kinda like how a kid would see a super hero!! I have to go more into his personality and backstory to fully explain- He's generally selfless, but he's a bit to exciteable at times. He's also persistant and dedicated! Like, for example, at the beginning of the game (during the prolouge), on of his lines would be: "Stop moping around, they can't keep us here forever!! Not if I have anything to say about it!" And "You can count on me! I'll get us out of here, safe and sound!!"

Also, I would think you can only get his FTEs at certain times during the game, that go with his whole arc!! You'll see more of that I'm a second!

He's positive and thinks of himself to be a hero, but to the point of annoyance and isolation. Not like he thinks he's better than everyone else per say, but more of a "I have to be able to help everyone!" type of thing. Thus actually connects a lot to his backstory, which I'll get into a bit later!!

When the game first starts, he sticks mostly with Nagito, and Hajime, much to Hajime's dismay. So far, everybody's pretty neutral on him, but nobody other than Nagito really likes him. He's really excited to be hanging out with Nagito, and it seems like this is his first friend per say. He has a sort of blind optimism too, no matter the situation. He's the classes optimist!! But sometimes, because of this, he's kind of an idiot.

Most people really start to hate him around ch1. Because, at this point, it's staring to sink in that they're gonna be stuck on the island, but it hasn't quite affected him yet. He still keeps up the can do attitude, but nobody -other than Nagito- is having it.

Hajime's got to much of a temper, Fuyuhiko has a short fuse, Hiyoko doesn't like him at all, he freaks Kazuichi out, etc. Most of the sdr2 cast sees him as a hope obsessed nuisance, and some of the more outspoken members say that to his face. Little do they know what they have in store..

It's around the first trial that his hopeful persona starts to crack. As soon as Nagito is revealed to be who he is, he feels betrayed, cheated almost. When he was friends with Nagito, he felt special, he felt unique. Nagito was able to tear down his walls, but as soon as it was revealed, he couldn't tolerate it. The first person to let him feel loved I'm years, and it was just a ruse.

"Hope doesn't tolerate your lies."

Afterwards, the only friends he has are people who are hyper as he is, or people who have the patience to deal with him. Ibuki, Peko, Mahir, and Mikan, despite the fact that she doesn't fit either of the categories- Also another oc of mine named Pyry- And by extension because of Mahiru, Hiyoko, though the insults never fully stop- please I am going to curb stomp Hiyoko if she doesn't stop saying shit about my boy

Although, there seems to be a bit of a disconnect. It was always there of course, but now it's even more prominent. You wouldn't notice it unless you actually knew him, so it's pretty much not noticeable to anyone 🤡

Ok, ch2 absolutely destroys him- like seriously, he loses two of his friends, and then it turns out that they didn't even have to die and it's Fuyuhiko's fault. So yeah, that's where some of his character development comes from- Normally, he would've forgiven Fuyuhiko but he doesn't get forgiven until like,, ch4 so-

Ch3 is even worse. he losES LIKE ALL OF HIS FRIENDS-

He also gets despair disease- His disease is 'quitter disease' because I never came up with a better name for it- Basically, he's just sad and one of his lines describes it- "There's no point in trying, we're all gonna die here anyways." And "You really think we're gonna get out of here huh? You really are an idiot.

These lines are said to Hajime- Please save my poor boy-

Fuyuhiko actually ends up being the one to look after his during it, mainly because he feels bad, despite Hitori's protests.

Ch3 is the only time he fights back against Hajime's conclusion, and the last time he does. He doesn't want to lose his only remaining friend.

But he does. And now he's alone again.

He keeps up his unaffected persona, despite the fact that he had a breakdown at the trial- He forgives Fuyuhiko, and just sorta keeps on keeping on, like he always has.

Ch4 is especially hard on him, but he's just sorta,,, fine with being near Nagito? Despite the fact that he really hated being near him, he's just sorta succumbed to his fate- During the ch4 trial he's the only one not treated terribly by him, so that's strange,, mutual respect I guess?

During ch5, he's more distant than ever, and you can only unlock his last FTE the day before Nagito's death. The last lines are what's ment to stick with you.

"Y'know, you're the only person who's really.. cared about me, and is still.. here. Thank you for that. I would really miss you if something happened. I wonder if you would do the same.."

AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES AND SO DO I

You'd find him slumped against the wall near Nagito, but it looks like he got caught in there by mistake.

He didn't-

So basically he and Nagito did the death room thing together, then discovering that they were all Remnants of Despair, thus making the ch5 plan together. But Hitori knew more than what he let on.

He and his avatar was sorta glitchy, so he was sort of a glitch in the matrix if you will. This caused him to get flashes of the past years he'd spent at Hope's Peak, but it also sorta fucked with Junko's brainwashing-

So, as soon as he died, due to his glitching, he woke up.

Nowadays, he spends his days amongst his sleeping classmates, and the class 78 survivors, waiting for the day they wake up too.

I WAS SO BUSY WRITING THAT THAT I FORGOT HIS BACKSTORY SO HERE IT IS-

He'd been raised with an avarage life, with avarage parents, and avarage friends. But he wasn't exactly avarage. Ever since he was a child, he was always an extordinatuly good writer. He could write pages upon pages of different universes, worlds, and lives. But, his friends weren't always as supportive as he thought they would be. They longed to be like him, to have his talent as their own, but they didn't want to try. So, they used him instead.

He wrote paragraphs on top of paragraphs for them, but it was never enough. They always wanted more, and he always wanted to help. But, day by day, they wanted more and more, until all he had left was his optimism, that they would love him like they once did.

He hasn't written since.

HITORI MIGHT BE A BADLY WRITTEN OC, BUT HE'S MY BADLY WRITTEN OC AND I LOVE HIM-

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 5

The Admiration of Kagami Tsurugi Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: The Admiration of Kagami Tsurugi

Notes: The kids are gonna be alright.

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

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Luka and Adrien’s eyes met after the girls left, and they couldn’t keep from giggling themselves stupid for a bit.

“Thanks for doing this, Luka,” Adrien said when he eventually caught his breath again. “I mean, I know it puts you out a bit.”

That received a shrug. “I really don’t mind. The liar has to be stopped, and if it keeps her from hurting you more, all the better.” He sighed softly. “I wish I’d been able to protect Marinette from her.”

Adrien nodded. “I didn’t expect Lila to get her expelled.”

“She threatened Marinette, as well, don’t forget.”

“What?” His voice sounded hollow to his own ears, and he propped himself up on his elbows. “She what?”

Luka’s eyes widened a bit. “Marinette didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

Adrien thought back on Marinette’s behavior, how she’d started to shrink into herself since Lila had returned to class. She always seemed on edge, jumpy anymore—even before the near-expulsion. If she’d been threatened, no wonder…

“When?” he asked after a moment, letting his head fall back on the sofa cushion.

“She said something about a blinding napkin? I didn’t really understand the context, but…”

He winced. So it had been before he’d given her his stupid advice. He was such an idiot.

“I told her Lila wasn’t hurting anyone.”

Luka gently pushed Adrien’s legs off his lap, then pulled him into a sitting position against his side. “Hey,” he murmured. “You didn’t know. She didn’t tell you. You gave her the best advice you could with the information you had.”

“I still should have… done something. Marinette deserves that much.”

“She isn’t one to demand that sort of thing.” Luka patted his shoulder. “Especially since Lila makes you uncomfortable, and she’s not blind to that.”

Adrien grimaced. “She keeps… touching me. Like she owns me. It’s creepy and invasive and I don’t like it.”

The hand moved away from him then back, like Luka wasn’t sure if this qualified.

“Not you, or Mari, or Kagami. I’m even okay with Chloé. But not her,” he clarified, leaning his head against Luka’s shoulder.

Luka’s hand settled back on Adrien’s shoulder. “Good. The goal is to make you comfortable, not make it worse.”

This was of course the moment Jagged Stone chose to walk back in. “Aw, aren’t you two cute? Time to call the salon, then, get done before the girls get back, yeah? You have a date with dye!”

Luka and Adrien met each other’s gaze and started giggling again.

--

Kagami watched Marinette fidget, a habit she knew from prior interactions was an indication of the girl’s nerves. She often couldn’t help but be impressed by her friend, and this was no different. Clearly Marinette had taken charge to come up with a plan to help Adrien—and had not taken advantage of the situation to become his fake girlfriend.

Which, actually, if Kagami considered, made sense—she would not wish to do that, either. It would be more painful than anything. Marinette had approached the situation wisely.

She was further surprised that they had decided upon Luka as the faux boyfriend, as he seemed to be courting Marinette.

But she had put Adrien above herself, as a true friend would. Truly, Kagami had learned much from her about friendship in their short acquaintance, and she was certain she’d learn more as time went on.

The limo pulled up outside a store that had outfits that looked far more intense than Kagami usually considered viable for her clothing, but in the case of Adrien’s rebellion would likely serve perfectly. She slid out and offered Marinette a hand getting out.

“You’re very kind to help Adrien through this situation,” she noted, hoping to put her at ease. “And I thank you for thinking to include me. I haven’t ever had fun like this.”

The smile she received was almost blinding, and Marinette’s nervousness seemed to dissipate. “I’m glad you’re here, Kagami. It’s always more fun to do a makeover with friends.”

Penny entered the store ahead of them, and Kagami followed with Marinette in tow.

“To be honest, I am not good with choosing clothing,” Kagami admitted. “As a result I often simply wear my school uniform.”

That earned another brilliant smile. “I’d be happy to go shopping with you sometime. Or, I make a lot of my own clothing, and it’d be fun to design something for you.”

Kagami offered a smile in return. “I would be honored to model your designs, Marinette. In the meantime, I look forward to learning as you pick out Adrien’s new look.”

Marinette flitted around the store, choosing several pairs of black jeans, some pre-worn with holes, others with strategic rips or even chains. As the shirt was already taken care of, she looked at different jacket options, eventually choosing one which zipped at a slight diagonal and had a larger silver zipper and fittings. She also selected a black zip-up hoodie with green trim, similar to Luka’s.

Eventually, she made her way to the footwear, seeming torn between a couple of options. Marinette turned to her, holding up two styles. Both were black leather boots that would reach about halfway up Adrien’s calf; the first laced and also had five rather large buckles, and the second not only laced and had three buckles, but were further accented by chains above and below the buckles held in place by fixtures shaped like silver-colored brass knuckles.

“Which do you think, Kagami?”

She was glad Marinette was including her in the process. “Aesthetically, they both seem to have the desired rebellious tone. However, the ones with chains seem a bit impractical, and perhaps too much.”

Marinette nodded, setting aside the pair Kagami had rejected—her opinion, as inexpert as it was, had been valued.

They ended the trip near the jewelry, looking at the various options. A jade-green beaded bracelet caught Kagami’s eye, and when she pointed it out to Marinette it was added to the pile. Marinette found a leather bracelet with a Jagged Stone logo which was also added to the pile.

At the earrings, Marinette paused.

“I know he has pierced ears, since he modeled some of my earrings, but he doesn’t normally wear any…”

Kagami nodded. “Is that not reason for him to do so now?”

“Good point!” Marinette graced her with another smile. “I’m so glad you came with.”

They worked together, and Marinette laughed, her voice ringing out like bells, when she found a pair of black studs with a neon green Chat Noir paw on them. Kagami didn’t quite understand the joke.

“He originally was going to choose Chat Noir’s colors,” she explained. “I guess Chat represents rebellion to him.”

“Ah, so then these are perfect—they allow him to stick with his initial idea a bit.”

Penny was waiting for them, chatting with the clerk, and pulled out Jagged Stone’s credit card without even looking at the price.

“Didn’t take you two long,” she commented as their items were being packaged. “I doubt they’ve finished the dye job yet.”

“Marinette had a vision,” Kagami responded. “She is quite efficient.”

She blushed at the compliment and grabbed two of the bags. Kagami grabbed the third, and they left the store, ready to return to the hotel for the rest of the plan.

Day Six: Arc One World Critique

This will be a review/critique of each of the five worlds in the first arc--what I thought was effective and ineffective about each world’s plotline, setting/lore, and characters! Spoilers: there are a lot of Problems but I still love this horrible little game anyway.

═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══

.·:·.✧ Wizard City ~ A- ✧.·:·.

✦ Plotline  ✦

Wizard City functions well as an introduction to the game. We immediately get introduced to the main villain, but we don’t know what his plan is yet. The Wizard’s mission, at this point, is to stop Malistaire’s undead from overtaking the streets. After we defeat Lord Nightshade, we learn that this was all a distraction from Malistaire’s real plan--to get the Krokonomicon from Krokotopia. Even though this means that what the protagonist did in Wizard City doesn’t have a direct connection to the main plot, I still think that it works well as a low-level story. 

I appreciated the originality of some of the subplots on each street; some standouts include stopping undead from siphoning powerful Storm magic from the Storm Mill on Triton Avenue, as well as defeating Cyclops Lane’s Cyclopes and Trolls, who were originally summoned to defend against the undead. 

While some of the side quests were just your standard MMORPG delivery or defeat quests, some were also pretty interesting! For example, Gloria Krendell’s and Duncan Grimwater’s quests provide insight into Malistaire’s backstory. Even the more simple-seeming quests had flavor text that made it a bit more fun. Being sent to defeat a boss to get back the Sleeper’s Timepiece, a watch that can bring nightmares to life, is a lot more interesting than being sent to defeat a boss who’s just evil and attacking citizens.

✦ Setting and Lore ✦

Every game needs to start with a relatively basic area, and in this one, it’s Wizard City. Still, I love all of the little details that flesh out the world. The devs could have chosen to go with really basic fantasy areas and use just houses, castles, and libraries. Instead, we have places like the Storm Mill--“one of the main sources of magical energy for all of Wizard City,” the Hedge Maze that is watched over by an ancient seraph, and the Fireglobe Theatre in the center of a burning street. It’s also really cool how all of the different streets have a different “feel”--Triton Avenue seems very industrial, Colossus Boulevard seems very upper-class (despite the Gobblers), and Firecat Alley seems very artsy and creative. Having abandoned areas like the Haunted Cave and mysterious places like Sunken City imply a history to the world. Still, Wizard City doesn’t feel like it has much of a past.

Overall, Wizard City has a good amount of lore with the various magical creatures and villains, especially considering Bartleby, the creator of the Spiral, lives here. With the addition of the Catacombs quest, it seems like Wizard City has a lot going on behind the scenes. 

✦ Characters ✦

Very few characters stand out at this point in the story. I liked Duncan Grimwater’s arc (although this doesn’t pay off until arc three), and I loved dealing with the shenanigans of both Nolan Stormgate and Cyrus Drake while questing in Cyclops Lane. Still, none of the characters have any major presence besides Ambrose, who is just there to be an Old, Wise Wizard. I would have liked there to be a maximum of six or seven major characters, possibly to represent each of the main schools. They wouldn’t all have to travel with us everywhere, but it would be cool to have more overlap instead of just meeting one or a few separately in each street. I also wish that some of the villains had a larger presence in the story. We don’t even hear about Lord Nightshade, the final boss, until we’re sent to fight him.

.·:·.✧ Krokotopia ~ B- ✧.·:·.

✦ Plotline ✦

In Krokotopia, the Wizard is chasing Malistaire to try and prevent him from getting the Krokonomicon, a book of powerful Life and Death magic. They are also stopping the awakened Kroks and some undead along the way. The plotline could have been more compelling if there was more of a focus beating Malistaire to the Krokonomicon, stopping Malistaire, or having Malistaire find different ways to stop the Wizard. Instead, Malistaire has very little presence, and we learn at the end that he beat us there--who knows how he got there or what he was even doing the whole time. 

By itself, though, Krokotopia’s plot isn’t too bad. Freeing slaves and reassembling an ancient magical order of anti-authoritarian Kroks is a good premise. 

✦ Setting and Lore ✦

Krokotopia’s setting is somewhat compelling in theory, but I do wish there was more variety--we’re pretty much inside hallways the whole time. I liked how each major area (the Pyramid of the Sun, the Krokosphinx, and the Tomb of Storms) has their own Krok leading family, such as the Nirinis and Sokkwis. I liked the family conflict between the Ahnics and Djeserits in the Tomb of Storms, as well. Krokotopia has a much more obvious history to it than Wizard City. I really liked the Marleybone presence, as well, which hinted at their dominance over many different worlds in the Spiral; it also showed that the various worlds are interconnected and not just levels in a game.

✦ Characters ✦

Yeah, no one in this world is particularly important. The major Marleybonean characters are pretty much just there to give quests, and the villains are just there to be something to fight, similar to Wizard City. Hetch al’Dim’s character trait was Anxiety, which I thought was pretty cute. Alhazred’s character trait was Old, so… alright. Once again, we get introduced to our final boss pretty much right as we have to fight her. Still, her design is pretty fabulous, so that’s cool. 

.·:·.✧ Marleybone ~ D+  ✧.·:·.

✦ Plotline ✦

Marleybone’s importance to the overall plot of arc one is minimal:

1. Malistaire frees Meowiarty so he can steal the Krokonomicon.

2. Malistaire gets the Krokonomicon. 

These last two events happen at the very end of the world, so everything else feels like a lot of filler. The Wizard has to put a stop to gang uprisings and attacks by automatons, only some of which Malistaire is connected to--and these were only started to interrupt the Wizard chasing him. It would have been great if the narrative as a whole was a mystery; despite having some elements of a mystery story, it wasn’t one. Also, it would have been interesting to have more of a focus on the obvious social issues occurring in the world. We see the dogs discriminating against the cats, rats, and frogs throughout the story--accusing them of crimes they didn’t commit and literally paying the Wizard to attack Street Sweepers out of a pavilion who were doing nothing but loitering, at worst, just because Abigail Doolittle wanted to have a party celebrating the police. Yikes!

Beyond that, a lot of the side quests were unquestionably bad. I always hate doing the quests for the ladies in Marleybone, because it’s all just bringing hats and scarves to different places. One quest like that would have been fine. 

The moment when the Wizard had to chase Malistaire and Meowiarty during the prison break was pretty fun, although (as @calamity-callie​ pointed out) they immediately moved to an unrelated case in Knight’s Court instead of just continuing to ramp up for the Meowiarty fight. This makes the story seem kind of janky. Again, I would have preferred for both Malistaire and Meowiarty to have more of a presence in the story. 

✦ Setting and Lore ✦

Marleybone’s setting is a lot of fun, and I love how much it contrasts Krokotopia. While magic is deeply ingrained in Krokotopia (from the presence of the Balance school down to the colors of the Manders’ scales), Marleybone doesn’t practice magic at all. I like how dark the world is--it’s very fitting for a place that has so much turmoil. I definitely would have liked to see more of a variety in the specific locations though--Hyde Park, Chelsea Court, and Knight’s Court are pretty much the same, not to mention that 99% of the story takes place on rooftops. The lore is alright, but there’s not too much that I find to be super compelling--most of it is just Victorian English stuff + steampunk.

✦ Characters ✦

Sherlock Bones is kind of there, although he doesn’t really solve any interesting mysteries. The concept of Baxter was good--having a “guy on the inside” who could guide the Wizard--but he was a flat character. Meowiarty was probably the most compelling, but he didn’t have much of a presence. I would have liked the world to have much more of a mystery-based plot (as in, actual mysteries) that was focused on working with Sherlock Bones, Watson, and Baxter to find/stop Meowiarty and Malistaire. 

.·:·.✧ MooShu ~ F+ ✧.·:·.

✦ Plotline ✦

MooShu has always bothered me a lot, because it has little direct connection to the overarching story. Malistaire comes here, steals the Spiral Key from the Emperor, and then leaves before the Wizard even gets there. The Jade Champion was able to get the Spiral Key back right as Malistaire went through the door, but he did not give it to the Wizard because the Emperor must be the one to give it to us for some reason. Still, I really liked the concept of the different Onis affecting each area in different ways.

The side quests are… fine, I guess, although I did love the ones centered around the two lost lovers in the Ancient Burial Grounds.  

✦ Setting and Lore ✦

This is the first W101 world that stands out as being, uhhhhh,,,, NOT super PC. The accents, stereotypes, and blending of different Asian cultures is not a great look. If we’re able to look past that (which we shouldn’t), I honestly don’t really like look or aesthetic. There’s just a whole lot of brown and a whole lot of bamboo. Pirate101 MooShu is leagues better visually (although it has the same problems with reeeeeally problematic language and characters). I do like a lot of the lore though, especially concerning demons, the Spirit World, and religion. But yeah, I do wish that the setting had more relevance to the story as well. Malistaire wants an ancient magical text from Krokotopia--Krokotopia as a setting makes sense. The ancient text gets stolen by an England analogue and put in a museum--Marleybone as a setting makes sense. The Dragonspyre Spiral Key is kept in MooShu just for fun, I guess. We learn later that the Emperor of MooShu is a member of the Council of Light, so I guess it would make sense for him to have it, but they literally could have made him the Emperor of a world based on anything else and it wouldn’t have changed anything in the main, overarching plot. 

✦ Characters ✦

The characters sure do give you quests! They’re really good at telling you how to progress in the game. They absolutely tell you where to go to get XP. 

.·:·.✧ Dragonspyre ~ B- ✧.·:·.

✦ Plotline ✦

Dragonspyre’s plot definitely needed some work, as well. When we get there, we learn that Malistaire is in the process of summoning the Dragon Titan in the Headmaster’s Office, but the Wizard can’t get there until they can become a student at Dragonspyre Academy. So we, again, aren’t actively working against Malistaire, because he’s literally static the whole time--the Spiral would be screwed if the ritual took like five minutes. 

Despite that, some of the subplots in the different areas were pretty fun: going into the past to see the start of its end, learning lessons from its history in the Crucible, and hatching and raising a Drake (whom we never see again, which sucks). 

Like with MooShu, it would have been a lot more impactful to be actively fighting against Malistaire the whole time. In the other worlds, part of the tension comes from Malistaire’s minions attacking innocents. In Dragonspyre, the tension isn’t there because they’re all already dead. Still, if they had focused on this aspect (i.e., the Wizard is the only living person in a world full of ghosts and Malistaire’s minions), it could have been really impactful.

✦ Setting and Lore ✦

I love the premise of this world: a ruined city that was destroyed by a horrible, ancient power due to the hubris of its elite. Dragonspyre has one of the most in-depth histories out of all the worlds of the Spiral, and I love the blending of the cultures of ancient Rome/Pompeii and Russia + dragons. Plus, Dragonspyre Academy darkly mirrors what Ravenwood could become if Malistaire successfully summoned the Dragon Titan. 

However, similar to Marleybone, all of the different areas have the same buildings, color palette, and mood. I like the additions of areas that are based on ancient Roman structures (the Basilica, the Necropolis, the Forum, etc,), but it doesn’t really matter because they all look the same. 

✦ Characters ✦

Cyrus Drake is one of my favorite W101 characters. His character arc is really good, especially if you play as a Myth wizard. He’s tough on the Wizard at first, but I honestly think it’s because he doesn’t think this Literal Child should be sent to defeat Malistaire. 

Malistaire is alright as a villain, and I’m certainly glad he wasn’t a generic evil guy who wants to rule/destroy the world just cuz. I would have wanted him to have just a little something extra, though?? Morganthe is a necromancer who was once a student just like the Wizard, but her mind shattered after the Spider Magi showed her how to touch Shadows. Old Cobb is an elder god who wanted to end the Spiral and recreate it. Malistaire is… an old professor who wants to bring his wife back. I do like how it’s unique, but I would want there to be something more.

Besides them, the characters in Dragonspyre are once again very flat, although I am very gay for the Russian-accent soldier ladies. 

═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══ 

Before writing this, I probably would have said that arc one was my favorite. Looking back, it has soooo many problems--writing isn’t exactly one of KI’s strong points lmao. I think that Wiz has some very creative ideas and premises, but sometimes the execution just isn’t the best. I definitely think that a lot of these problems were a result of crunch time, though. If they were actually given time to flesh out their ideas, I think that the game would have turned out much better in terms of storytelling and design. 

I’m thinking about making reviews for arc two and three, as I’d be really curious to see how they’d compare. They all have different strengths and different problems. Still, this game has been my favorite game since I was eleven, and it’s something that I will always come back to.

Image Sources

https://101universe.fandom.com/wiki/Wizard_City?file=Ravenwood.jpg

https://101universe.fandom.com/wiki/Krokotopia?file=Tumblr_n1e872SXlZ1tsc4dmo2_r1_540.jpg

https://www.swordroll.com/2013/05/Pirate101-Krokotopia.html

https://www.mmorpg.com/columns/wizard101-abigail-doolittle-is-the-true-villain-2000108162

http://www.edwardlifegem.com/2018/11/wizard101-questing-where-we-ended-up_14.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hGd5cDTxd0

https://finalbastion.com/wizard101-guides/w101-pet-guides/pets-dropped-mooshu-wizard101/

https://101universe.fandom.com/wiki/Dragonspyre_Academy?file=Dragonspyre_Academy.jpg

http://www.wizard101central.com/wiki/File:(Location)_The_Crystal_Grove.png#axzz6a4BqFgfv

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Heroes of Olympus should have been in first-person.

@jo-march-is-a-lesbian​ wrote a really wonderful post about how “Percy Jackson and the Olympians is better than Heroes of Olympus…because it understood simplicity and character development.”  It highlights some reasons I also found HoO less rewarding namely that it was an overcomplicated story with limited character growth, lacked a common thesis, and was super jarring when it switched perspectives.  

And with that my little brain went: I can fix this.  Which frankly is ridiculous.  I can’t come up with a compelling thesis like “The idea that we should place our hope in our loved ones, our friends and our family, and if we do that, we won’t be tempted to give up hope again.”   But I can imagine a simple change that would have solved some of the issues and also played to Rick’s strengths as a writer:  Each book should have been written in first person and narrated by a different character.

With so many people on the quest, I often felt like I was watching a bunch of one-dimensional characters fight for their right to be the main character.  I didn’t know who to focus on but I was also dissatisfied.  There were all these new wonderful characters in front of me who I wanted to love, but I didn’t feel like I actually knew them.  I mean I don’t feel like I know the Stoll Brothers either, but I’m not concerned about that fact because they are side characters.  When everyone is painted as the main character,  I have certain expectations for growth, personality, and voice.  The story would have been better served if the characters took turns narrating the action, allowing us to settle into their perspective, see their growth, and better understand their personality.

Plus Rick kills first-person.  While I’m not particularly a fan of Trials of Apollo, it’s not because I don’t know the characters.  Apollo is so very different than Percy. Their voices, even though they can both be jokesters at times, reflect their different life-experiences, thought processes and provide massive insight into their characters.   If the Seven (and Nico and Reyna) got the same treatment, I would be absolutely giddy.  

I recognize that rewriting the HoO series in first-person is something a talented fanfiction writer with a lot of time on their hands could actually do.  But I am not talented like that and I certainly don’t have the discipline to actually write that much fic, especially if I was trying to keep the events vaguely the same just with different narration and pacing.  So instead I’ve included who I think should have narrated each book below the cut.  I’d love to hear any opinions people have regarding this idea, especially who they would have wanted to see to narrate each book.

In addition to picking the narrator, I’ve highlighted what should be the “quest” so to speak of each story.  Personally, MoA, HoH and BoO are kind of a blur to me despite reading them all recently.  It’s hard to distinguish what happens in each book because it’s all one massive quest with a whole bunch of mini-quests.    While the different narrators would obviously make the books more distinctive, splitting the series into seven books would also help simplify each book’s individual goal.  Eight books would have allowed for better integration of the plot to find the physician’s cure, but with the prophecy of seven, it seemed like seven books was the best option, if I was going to be doing something as blasphemous as splitting books.   

As a note, I ran out of steam as I went so not all opinions are fully fleshed out. 

Book 1:  The Lost Hero The Quest: Rescue Hera/Juno Narrator:  Jason 

Why this would be cool: 

He is literally Juno’s chosen sent on a quest to rescue her.  It’s poetic enough to give him the book.

Jason’s journey is just as much about rediscovering himself as it is about saving Juno.   Of the new characters, I feel like I understand Jason the least. Mainly because I felt like I was missing the entire first half of his story.  Jason, like Percy and Annabeth, is a hero of the Titan War. I know some of his accomplishments, but I don’t have any bearing on what his life was like or how he felt about it.   He doesn’t seem like the type to relish Praetor-ship since he doesn’t have the same intense need to get back to his camp as Percy.  Was he just hoisted on his comrades’ shields after killing the Titan without any real choice in the matter? Give me Jason’s memories coming back slowly over the course of the quest (with potentially a fractured memory of a mistake he made in the Roman’s final Titan battle that makes him doubt their ability to both rescue Piper’s dad and save Hero but he makes the decision to anyway because he can’t just hurt his friend like that.   Let me understand how Jason is the person he is today.  Give me glances of the Roman Camp with emphasis on the heavy expectations that have always followed him as the son of Jupiter and foreshadow why he eventually chooses to design all the shrines for the minor gods so he can have his own place in the world as a figure between the two camps.

Let’s dive into those feelings of anger/guilt/resentment when people at camp are disappointed with him for not being Percy or in Chiron’s case are nervous about what his presence means. 

I want to dig deeper regarding Jason’s feelings about reconnecting with Thalia.  He knows that if the gods hadn’t been determined to keep the two camps completely separate, he could have grown up with his sister. 

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:  

We miss some of the internal turmoil regarding the fact that Piper’s Dad has been captured and she must betray her friends. 

We also don’t feel the tensions of Piper’s relationship with Aphrodite. I don’t see Piper bringing up the conversation with her mom saying that her mist memories were so strong because she automatically sensed the potential of a romantic relationship with Jason.  

We don’t have any of Leo’s conflicted feelings regarding rescuing Hera or his fear of being made an outcast for his fire abilities.  Jason has to go with Leo to discover Bunker 9 and Festus.  

Leo doesn’t actively save the day with the Cyclops. 

We don’t know how Piper feels about her charm-speak or see her defeat Madea (as the boys are in their weird trance thing). 

Knowledge about Gaea’s involvement in wrecking Leo’s life will come later.  

Book 2: The Son of Neptune The Quest: Free Thantos Narrator:  Hazel

Why this would be cool: 

The stakes are so incredibly high. Hazel is literally risking her second chance at life by agreeing to go on this chance.  She’s going to the place she died to fight the monster she created. She also has to deal with the trauma of knowing she may have bought the world time with her first sacrifice but it now means nothing if she can’t succeed again.  

We get to see Camp Jupiter from the view of someone who loves it but doesn’t really fit in.  Hazel joined Camp Jupiter just after the final battle.  She enters a community that has learned to fight as a well-oiled machine but that has lost people.  Dakota or the others may remark to her about how things were before or the people who are missing.  Hazel sees a community that she’s not quite a part of both because she didn’t fight in the war and because she’s in the fifth cohort with a feared godly parent.

It would explore her relationship with Nico more (because I love their dynamic and I want more).   She knows she can’t replace his real sister, but she feels comfortable and happy at the opportunity to have a brother, especially one who is out of time like she is.   

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:  

Frankly, the largest pushback would be from the fans who expected this to be Percy’s book since we just watched Jason rediscover who he is.

Percy’s phone call to his mom doesn’t have the same intensity.  

Frank’s relationship with Mars and how desperate he was to be claimed but now he doesn’t think he can live up to his father’s expectations.  

Frank and his grandmother.  We aren’t in Frank’s head as he changes shape till later.  

Book 3: Mark of Athena The Quest: Close the Divide Between The Two Camps by finding Athena’s statue and Rescue Nico Narrator(s):  Annabeth and Leo

Why Annabeth: 

So I can have all the emotions at the reunion with Percy.  

Annabeth’s relationship with her Mom has never been great, but imagine beginning the book with Annabeth being given the Mark of Athena. They haven’t left for New Rome yet and her nerves are already all over the place.  Then Athena/Minerva comes, gives her an impossible quest, and breaks her hat.   Annabeth wants to prove to her mother that she’s worthy because despite everything she still values her mother’s opinions.  Also her fatal flaw of hubris makes her believe she will succeed where everyone else failed.

Much of the book already follows her in third person limited so we just get things with a little extra emotion.  

Why Leo:  

Leo has to grapple with the fact he started this war by being the one to fire the cannon even if he didn’t have any control.  He is motivated to fix it

If we’re going to include the Sammy plot, we need to do it now.   Leo doesn’t like being the odd one out on the ship but he certainly doesn’t like the feeling of being notable because of his grandfather.  

We still need to get into those feelings of abandonment and anger at Gaea for killing his mom.  

Nemesis 

Leo comes into his own with the discovery of the Archimedes sphere and the decision to value people over objects.  

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:

The aquarium shenanigans 

The fight between Jason and Percy in Kansas needs to happen differently so that the others are present and try to stop it.  

Neither of them went ashore to meet Hercules.  

I think we might need to move up the Calypso meeting to this book, but that also kills some of the suspense since Frank will have the fireproof coating prior to his adventures in Venice when he gains faith in his abilities.  It also might mean Leo opens the fortune cookie from Nemesis unless for some odd reason he doesn’t have it.  There’s a lot more narrative weight for it coming later, but in order to get in as many book events as we can in, it might need to come earlier. 

Book 4:  House of Hades Pt. 1

The Quest: Survive Tartarus Narrator(s): Annabeth and Percy

The first time I read House of Hades, I read it out of order (reading all the Percy and Annabeth chapters until they were on the elevator out of Tartarus before going back and reading the others), because I couldn’t handle the back and forth.  I felt like the tension would build, I’d be invested in this plot and then we’d switch to the other plot. Plus I was very concerned for my children.  So I feel fully justified in saying that there is more than enough material to give the two of them their own book.

I just feel like all the feelings would be magnified.  

Percy’s commentary slowly losing its humor because he can’t anymore.

Annabeth’s guilt at having pulled him in being extra loud.  

Downsides beyond adding an entire book: Just imagine all the outrage at two cliffhangers in a row, because you know the book would end with them in the elevator remembering Bob’s words about the stars.   

Book 5:  House of Hades Pt. 2

The Quest:  Close the Doors of Death Narrator(s): Frank and Hazel

Frank and Hazel experience the most growth on the quest to close the doors so this book is all theirs.  Hazel learns to control the mist.  Frank experiments with his transformations.  I want nothing but them growing into themselves and their abilities.  

The good thing about turning the two warring storylines from House of Hades into separate books is that we lose very little plot.  

Book 6:  House of Hades Pt. 3/Blood of Olympus Pt 1 (Personally I would call this one Ambassador of Pluto)

The Quest:  Unite the Gods’ Personalities. Narrator: Nico

To clarify what I mean by HoH 3, I just mean anything done with the intention of trying to cross paths with Reyna, including the adventure with Cupid, in addition to the existing Nico&Reyna plotline in BoO.  

Nico dealing with all the emotions and his most recent near-death experience.

He kept the secret of the camps so the world wouldn’t end in chaos, but now that the world is in chaos he will be the one to fix it.  

In the short time he’s on the Argo 2, Nico realizes that even though this wasn’t his quest; this is his family and he needs to protect them.  

The reader has a pretty good idea Nico is gay, even if the word isn’t explicitly said from the descriptions (his guilty Percy thoughts - he let down the man he loves even if he won’t admit it.) This means that Cupid’s forceful outing is potentially less surprising so the reader can be properly outraged at Cupid.  

Downside: Reyna definitely has adventures when Nico is passed out, especially the whole waking up with the Hunters, but I think it’s excusable for a whole book from Nico’s perspective.  

Also, the battle between the camps and gifting of the statue needs to happen in this book, but we shouldn’t find out if the gods have regained control of their forms yet.  We alleviate some tensions because Camp Half-blood is likely to be overrun with Octavian’s monsters instead of the Roman armies and Gaea could awaken any second, but there’s an odd moment of calm and an uneasy truce.  (Octavian is potentially taken under custody to be held for trial only to escape in the next book.) 

Book 7:  Blood of Olympus Pt 2 (and the aftermath)

The Quest:  Like The Last Olympian, the final book’s focus is entirely on defeating the series’ big bad, in this case, Gaea.  Leo’s quest for the Physician’s cure parallels Percy’s River Styx visit.  

Narrator(s):  Leo and Piper

Leo has his death hanging over his head.  He has decided that he will be the one to die not any of his friends.  He got the cloth from Calypso so the “fire” portion of the prophecy applies to him and not Frank.  (Yes I know you can’t control prophecies, but do you think that’s going to stop Leo.)  

It’s the ultimate revenge for killing his mom.  We can have memories of both the happy times with Esperanza and the fear he felt for thinking he caused the fire. 

Piper’s perspective is necessary as we need to be with her during the fight with the giants.   

This series began with Piper, Leo, and Jason.  It ends that way too with the three of them killing Gaea and the two of them narrating.  

Downsides: 

The Percabeth I love you-the feud is over scene remains in Piper’s perspective.  

Since we’re not following Reyna’s delivery of the statue concurrently we don’t know when to anticipate the healed gods appearing in the battle with the giants.  

The book can still get away with not showing us Percy’s reunion with Sally or forcing Leo to tell the others he’s alive so they’re all grieving. 

Tell me ALL your SW faves

Aaaaaa thank you!  This took a while cuz this got long, lol sorry!  Aight, so here’s ALL my SW faves for this ask prompt list!

FAVE MOVIE: Revenge of the Sith.  10000%.  It just has everything!  You get to see the Obikin relationship in all its glory, first and foremost, how much those two loved each other more than anything and knew each other better than anyone, and just how much they genuinely got along and then we got our hearts broken watching them have to fight after Anakin made his Goof Of The Millennium and just oooooof all the feels about my boys!  Seeing Padmé and just loving her so gotdang much for being strong and wanting the best life for everyone, all while she was so scared and had so little support from anyone, and just couldn’t do it in the end.  Seeing the end of the Republic, how after a thousand years, just, *poof*, just like that in like two days (yes, I know Sidious was planning it for over a decade but still), the horrific fascination on how Sidious was able to do that.  Just the brilliance of Sheev’s character, how you despise him, but how brilliantly everything was pulled off.  The angst of Order 66, how especially after TCW you love these characters SO MUCH and then you gotta watch them DIE HORRIBLY BY THOSE THEY TRUSTED, THOSE WHO NEVER HAD A CHOICE EITHER.  Did I mention feeling so freaking bad for Obi Wan and his Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day???  Because I really do, he’s so good and kind and we see his life fall apart and ugh I love him.  And y’all, watching Anakin Skywalker fall from grace like the brightest angel he was, you hate him for what he did, but you still can’t help but love him and cry for him and his loss because he was so good, and he did not deserve all this to happen to him but he did it to HIMSELF AAAAGGHHHH.  Also, Obes and Ani were at peak prettiness this movie!!  Just asdfkjglkdskajsrlk best movie love so diggity dang much

FAVE PAIRING: Oh, how EVER will I choose– Obikin.  It’s Obikin, all the way, no contest.  I know I’ve yelled about it a million and one times so I’ll save y’all the rant on how much I adore these disasters and their relationship and how I think they’re goddamn soulmates and the most interesting dynamic in the entire Saga.  I ship them romantically and platonically and just everything, they’re so fucking important to one another and that’s why it hurts so much to watch them fall apart, and that’s why I’m so incredibly happy that they get to canONICALLY SPEND THEIR ENTIRE AFTERLIFE TOGETHER BECAUSE FORCE GHOSTS HELL YEAH.  If I had to pick just secondary fave romantic and platonic relationships, hmmmm that’s hard.  BUT, I’m gonna have to go with Kanera for romantic; SWR was what got me back into Star Wars and one of my favorite parts of it was watching Kanan and Hera, how much I loved them separately, but just how much they were a team together and I love them and I was unbelievably upset when Jedi Night happened (and I still have a rant about how animated Star Wars kills off their romantic couples in the exact same manner, pls ask me about how TCW’s The Lawless and Rebels’ Jedi Night had basically all of the same plot points that ended in killing off a romantic lead).  For other fave platonic relationship, gonna have to go with Luke/Han/Leia BROT3 (separate from Hanleia as a romance, which is probs my 3rd fave).  These disasters were the original Golden Trio, they saved the galaxy together all while yelling dramatically and having each other’s backs to the bitter end (or, at least ‘till the end of ROTJ lol) and I just love them as a team so dang much

FAVE TV SHOW EPISODE: Okay, since there are four TV shows, it’s only fair for me to pick one (or more don’t judge me) from each!  Let’s see, from The Clone Wars, my fave eps have to be the entire Mortis trilogy arc in S3 because Obes/Ani/Snips family dynamic, Force Shenanigans, BEAUTIFUL scene designs, Anakin angst, just so many good things oof, and also Dooku Captured from S1, which I just adore because Obikin snark, annoying Grandpa Dooku, Hondo Fucking Ohnaka making everyone look so bad at their jobs, I just love it agh.  Whoops that was technically four faves, so gotta do four for Rebels too!  Gonna go wiiiiith World Between Worlds from S4 for Badass Ahsoka Tano, Ezra being brave and talented, Sheev being Absolutely Ridiculous, and just the overall Force Shenanigans cuz canon time travel y’all; The Lost Commanders from S2 because Rex is awesome, Kanan angst, and really good Kanan and Ezra bonding and Jedi awesomeness, Fire Across the Galaxy from S1 because of Ghost fam dynamics, Kanan angst, more Kanan and Ezra bonding, and just good stuff, and Twilight of the Apprentice in S2 (lol what about my username?) for being creepy and cool and maKING ME CRY ANAKIN YOU STUPID THRICE COOKED TOILET SEAT LEAVE AHSOKA ALONE.  *cough*  Ok, fine, I’ll stick with only one ep for the other two series.  For Resistance, gonna have to go with the latest ep, actually!  We get to see Kaz being clever and caring about his fam on the Colossus, really cool designs for Aeos and its people, Tam angst, and just everyone shining!  For The Mandalorian, it’s gotta be the finale, Redemption, we get Din name, Armorer kicking everyones asses and me loving it, BABY YODA DOING THE HAND WAVE, Din getting over his issues with droids and connecting with IG only for IG to FUCKING DIE, DIN AND BABY YODA BEING AN OFFICIAL CLAN OF TWO, Taika just knocking this whole episode out of the park with the funny scouttroopers at the beginning who still deserved the ass-whooping they got for fucking murdering Kuiil and hiTTING BABY YODA YOU SLIMY FUCKNUGGETS–

FAVE CHARACTER: Alright, look, I can narrow it down to FIVE and that is IT.  I just love too many Star Wars characters, I can’t go lower than top five!  Ok, so my four favorites are Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Leia Organa, Kanan Jarrus, and Finn Skywalker-Dameron-Tico (i SAID what i SAID.)  AIGHT so for starters, a lot of my favorite characters in different franchises fall under various archetypes I have for faves.  Obi Wan fits one of my more popular ones: “Old, reluctant and more than slightly-questionable parental badass with a mysterious past that makes you love them all the more when you realize just how beautiful and tragic and deserving-better they were when that past is revealed”.  I latched onto this dude from the start when I just liked the OT (tho Leia was always my fave lol), and I wanted to know about him, and then when I finally started getting into the PT and TCW, it was just a steady stream of “oh no he’s hOT?” “oh no he’s sAD?” “oh no he’s nICE?!? REALLY FUCKING NICE AND A BIT OF A MESS HELP” and then I just totally latched on because he’s hypercompetent at literally everything and looks damn good doing it and boy do I have a thing for competence, charming as all hell and goes through so much and comes out strong despite the fact that fate hates his fucking guts and tries to destroy his life constantly and guys he tries so hard and he’s kind of messy sometimes and a bit of a dick and I love him all the more for it because he’s trying, none of that do-or-do-not shit, he is doing his damn best and deserves happiness and not Anakin tearing him apart.  SPEAKING OF SAND MAN.  Ugh, so I love Anakin to fucking death and that makes me REALLY MAD ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE MAKES EVERYONE ELSE I LIKE SAD.  So I love Anakin regardless because he’s not your typical protagonist.  He’s fucking brilliant, hot when he fights, is amazing at fighting and flying and building stuff and there’s that competence thing for me again, oh boy!  He’s funny and kind and he cares.  And somehow, this bitch manages to have the two most beautiful, amazing people in the galaxy in love with him and willing to do basically anything for him like the fuck?!?  Jealous much??!?!?!?!  I am!!!!  He’s so fucking bright and it’s impossible to look away.  He’s also a dorky, messy disaster who’s not good with people or feelings or emotions and he panics over stuff and doesn’t know self-control and is kinda really bad at his job a lot and pushes away the people who care about him and screws up literally all the fucking time and he always feels like he’s drowning and alone and I get to watch him crash and burn under the weight of it all.  Basically, minus the anger issues and the child murder and the murder in general, I kinda relate a lot to Anakin.  I feel like a self-hating mess who doesn’t know how to control my ow head and the world hates me a lot too.  I can project my mental issues onto him, enjoy the good parts of him, live vicariously through the things he does that I can’t like be loved by pretty people and be hot and athletic and smart, and then when he crashes I can side-eye and remember that at least someone’s doing worse than me lol.  So yea, I love this messy boi to death and he’s the one I get the best characterization reviews on, so I guess we have an understanding.  Leia I loved since as a kid.  I’d want to be her, brave, talented, smart, strong as hell and snarky to boot.  I realize that Leia fits another fave character archetype of mine: “Powerful young adult raised for greatness, did not ask for all the horrible shit that’s happened to them, highkey wants a break and for the bad guys to just roll over and die, is generally clever, hypercompetent, and 100% done with everyone else’s shit, overdramatic as all hell and enjoys insulting people”.  Her and Han were my first Star Wars ship and she just always made me happy seeing her kick names and take ass.  She’s gone through almost as much hell or maybe more so than Obi Wan, she also keeps getting back up and fighting, she deserved SO MUCH BETTER than what the Sequel Trilogy gave her and you may quote me on that.  She’s also gorgeous and I wanted to wear all of her clothes (bikini not included).  I also love her relationship with Luke and I am so goddam happy it is now canon that Leia Organa did Jedi training and can use a lightsaber!!!  She has a lightsaber!!!!!!!!!!  Ugh oof I love her.  Kanan fills the similar “mentor” archetype as Obi Wan does, but with a smidge of youth because he’s younger when he gets dropped into this role.  He’s more of a punk, more of a mess, and oof.  Basically I’ve said it a zillion times how Rebels resparked my love of Star Wars, but really, it was Kanan on the screen that did it.  It happened when the Rebels season 3 premiere eps ended up on the TV and I saw it and I thought in order 1. holy shit that Maul fucker’s actually alive? and 2. Oh no sad blind Jedi man!  He’s cool and mysterious and I want to know why he’s sad and who made him sad and also want to give him a hug!!!  He was my fave character all throughout Rebels and his training dynamic with Ezra, struggling to help this kid all while flying by the seat of his pants because he had Issues and no clue what he was doing and no support and ugh, he was smart and brave and I’m so sad he’s dead and yea.  Finn!!!!  Last but not least!!!!  He was my favorite character from The Force Awakens.  People have said it before, but he was just so new, a rebel Stormtrooper stolen and brainwashed at birth, finding the good guys and fighting to do the right thing!  Possibly Force Sensitive!  Super duper cute!!!  Funny and kind, dammit, when not many other people in the galaxy were!!!!!!!!  I was so, so sure Finn was gonna be a Jedi along with Rey at some point, that might have been my biggest letdown when I saw TLJ, but ugh I just loved his enthusiasm and his war within himself, ultimately loving his friends and trying to do what was right at the risk to his own safety, even though that was why he ran scared in the first place!!!!!  I shipped him with Rey and with Poe and now I am NOT above the post TROS Jedistormpilot shipping!!!!!  Finn was just always the most interesting part of the Sequel Trilogy for me and I personally feel like they could have done more with his character.

FAVE ACTOR/ACTRESS: Aight, so I try my best not to “stan” anyone famous because literally no one is perfect and everyone’s done something problematic at some point and if I dare say I like a famous figure, someone’s gonna find something about them and come after me all “OMG THIS PERSON DID/SAID/IS X YOU MONSTER GO DIE!!11!!1″.  In terms of performance, I think all the actors in Star Wars did a lovely job and I’m happy with all of them!  If I had to crush on any, it would probs be Ewan McGregor, John Boyega, or Diego Luna cuz, uh, they hot.  If I had to pick one I liked most, it would honestly probs be Carrie Fisher.  Maybe that’s just partially from missing her now that she’s gone, but I really admire her advocacy and transparence for mental health, and she just seemed like such a funny, kind, strong person.

FAVE PLANET: Aight, this is HARD and I refuse to only pick one planet!  Ok, gonna start off with Coruscant because an endless city planet made up of lights is amazingly gorgeous and it has a Jedi Temple stacked on top of a Sith Temple and is just so cool aaaaa.  Also love Felucia just for being so bright and colorful and pretty.  Mortis for being just as weirdly gorgeous and also Weird Force Shit.  Lothal for the beautiful mountains, the wolves, and the fucking lightspeed center of the planet passage what, Dathomir is delightfully creepy to look at, Crait is really cool with the salt and the red and the ice foxes, Kashyyyk because Wookiees and it’s pretty and I love their treehouses.  Basically if it makes me clap my dumb monkey hands and go “oooh pretty!”, I love it.  The more “not like Earth” it is, the more I love it.

FAVE SPECIES: Hmmmmm, this is a tough one…….  There’s just so many cool-looking species that we know so little about, ya know?  I wanna say either Togrutas or Wookiees.  Togrutas just because the character design is incredible and so fun to work with and also I love Ahsoka, and Wookiees because they have such an interesting culture and backstory and also I want to give Chewbacca a hug.

FAVE CONCEPT: Uhhh, not quite sure I get the question; you mean like just story concept in general?  If that’s it, I’m gonna have to go with just the whole concept of the Force and the Jedi in general.  I mean George, George my man, what the fuck?  How the hell did you come up with this?!?  Mystical psychic space wizards with magic abilities to connect with and use the sentient godlike life force that combined the entire galaxy together.  Oh and also they have COLORFUL GLOWING LASER SWORDS?!?!?  It’s honestly one of the most creative things I’ve seen in popular culture, and that makes me sad that Star Wars now seems to be trying to separate itself from what I think is its most interesting quality because “ugh not EVERYTHING should be about the Jedi guys!”, when like, y’all, without the Jedi, the entire SW universe is basically just another military scifi war story……  Just my opinion tho.

FAVE SHIP: Ok, since pairing was already up there, I assume this means actual ship?  Well, uh, gonna have to be square with y’all, I’m a bad Star Wars fan for this part; I’ve never been the one to memorize ship names and designs and know the exact make and model number of some fancy ship, I’m real bad at that lol.  I’ll say my favorite ship is the Ghost.  Hera flies it and the Rebels Fam lives on it and it’s super cool and it makes me happy!

FAVE WEAPON: LIGHTSABER.  LIGHTSABER LIGHTSABER.  LIGHTSABERLIGHTSABERLIGHTSABERLIGHTSABERLIGHTSABER.  Y’all, c’mon, what did you think I was gonna pick? xD  Lizard brain want glowy shiny colorful big stick that goes whoosh!

FAVE BACKGROUND EXTRA: Again, not entirely sure what this means, but do you mean fave background character?  If so, then it’s a tie between Wilrow Hood and his ice cream machine for the memes, that one clone in TCW who yeets a plate of toast at Cad Bane’s face, or that one background soldier who scoots between Han and Leia arguing in ESB and also Hera and Kanan arguing in Rebels (yes I do headcanon it’s the same guy lol)

FAVE MOMENT/SCENE: This one’s actually pretty easy.  Anakin dying in Luke’s arms in ROTJ, and then his ghost showing up to Luke later at the Ewok party.  I just care so ridiculously much about stupid Anakin and his stupid story and mistakes, and even before I was a prequels stan and had only seen the OT (and wasn’t a huge Vader fan, believe it or not), some part of me just felt so solemn, so fragile watching this, watching the giant monstrous machine falling apart as he fades away to reveal a weary, tired old human man, and it always made me wonder, what the hell happened to him to turn him into that thing?  Seeing that young, beautiful man, basically Luke’s age, showing up as a ghost later, just the fascination, the tender look he shared with Old Ben, just how young he was, that made it all the more mysterious and knowing what I do now, it’s just so much better because my poor, horrible Disaster Man finally did the right thing and he finally found peace and it’s just the only ending I could be happy for Anakin with,  And Luke, I always felt so bad for Luke, being so strong, so brave, finally getting his father back for like five damn minutes and then having to lose him again and just hurting for him but also knowing that it was gonna be okay because Luke had more family now, the ghosts, and Han and Leia and Chewie and R2 and 3PO and Lando and everyone.

FAVE KISS: Luke and Leia (HANG ON LET ME SPEAK) forehead kiss in The Last Jedi.  I know (this one) isn’t meant as romantic, and I know the question is probs about a romantic one and I know that it’s not even a real mouth kiss.  But.  That Luke and Leia scene was my favorite part of the entire movie.  Again, I was missing Carrie a lot, and ugh, after all these years, after not getting to interact the entire previous movie and not at all during this movie, the ONE scene with Carrie and Mark and the pure emotion of it all just knocked me out of my fucking seat.  You could see how connected they were as siblings, how much Leia had missed Luke, how much he had missed her and how sorry he was for leaving, sorry for Ben, sorry for having to leave her again now, Leia knowing Luke was about to die, and just, acceptance.  Love and acceptance.  It was just a final, tender kiss on the forehead, and it was perfect and yeah.  If I do have to pick a romantic lip smooch, it’s probably the Hanleia classic “scoundrel” kiss in Empire Strikes Back.  I still remember watching ESB the first time as a KID and being all eeeeeeee are they gonna– YES they kissed they kissed they kissed finally! and that’s enough for me.

FAVE FIGHT: Obi Wan and Anakin on Mustafar in Revenge of the Sith.  WIthout question.  It’s brilliantly and precisely choreographed to show the intricate nuances of the Obikin breakup in alllllll of its painful glory.  It breaks my heart every time I watch it because every time I watch it I still hope it’s gonna end differently.  That Anakin realizes he can’t kill Obi Wan and ditches Sidious and goes back with Obi Wan to save Padmé.  That Obi Wan realizes he can’t let Anakin die and saves him from burning and from Sidious and takes him back too.  That Obi Wan at least puts Anakin out of his misery which would be godawful painful, but would save him from the horrid life as Vader.  That while they’re fighting, a lava monster appears like in the concept art and Vader and Obi Wan have to put aside their differences and fight the thing and remember how much they mean to each other.  But ugh, this fight was beautifully choreographed and was originally supposed to be a MULTI-MINUTE SINGLE SHOT WHAT THE HELL???  Oooof Hayden and Ewan did such an amazing job and the whole thing just rips my heart out every time in the bestworst way possible

 FAVE LINE OF DIALOGUE: Now THIS is hard, I’m not the best at picking favorite lines.  Hmmm, this is HARD.  Let me think.  Gahhhh, it’s hard because I have so many lines I like and I can’t even just narrow down a couple!!!  Ultimately, it’s probably gonna be Yoda’s monologue from Empire Strikes Back: “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter…”  Just that entire line saying how basically all of us are more than the sum of our parts, that everyone is their own sparkling light made of stardust, I loved it as a kid and I love it now. 

FAVE BOOK/COMIC: Answered here

FAVE HERO: Gonna go with Obi Wan!  I already rambled about why I love him, but y’all……. I love him.

FAVE VILLAIN: Anakin Skywalker/Darth McFucking Vader.  I loved him when he was a hero and the silly poor sad boy makes me sad when I see him as a villain all while being an overdramatic asshole and it just makes me wanna hit him with a newspaper for ruining his life and everyone else’s I love him.

FAVE OUTFIT: Answered here

FAVE CREATURE: I love Lothcats/Tookas!  I just heckin’ love cats and now there’s spACE KITTIES WITH SUPER FOOFY TAILS AND BIG EARS OMG Y’ALL I LOVE THEM I JUST REALLY DO AND I REALLY WANT ONE SO I CAN CUDDLE IT ;_;

WHEW.  That was all of the faves, thanks so much for asking me!!!  Sorry this took so long to do, this was kinda a hell week haha!

but please don’t bite: thin walls lament [1/2]

{Roger Taylor/Original Character/Brian May}

Summary: What happens on Halloween stays on Halloween; or, Ash’s costume catches the eye of more than just Roger, and after weeks of hearing certain noises through the walls, Brian feels like a terrible friend for idly lusting after his flatmate’s girlfriend. Or; friends shag friends and it’s not a big deal.

A/N: 5380 words. NSFW BUT NO SMUT; drinking, discussions of nudity and of sex, but no actual sex. I think I need to make the smut it’s own fic if I write it, because this is already a lot. If you want a follow up PWP chapter lemme know. This is essentially the entire lead up to get the three of them to the point where they’re all comfortable sleeping together, and I wouldn’t have felt right not including this. Anyways; halloween shenanigans and threesome propositions.

[aydtd]

Ash is, for lack of a better word, sharp. There’s a bites to her words and her smile is dangerous and something about her is a little bit vicious, a little bit of an edge to her. At least compared to most of the girls Brian is used to hanging around the band. He’s seen the scratch marks she’s left on Roger, who, at least judging by the noise coming through the - goddamn thin - walls and the hickies she can’t be bothered hiding, he gives as good as he gets, not that Brian tries to think about that. At least not a lot. Okay, at least not a lot while sober.

But he’d be lying if he said it didn’t intrigue him.

Or maybe he’s just fucking sick of hearing them through the walls when he’s trying to sleep, keeping him awake and feeling lonely and hard despite himself. It’s not that he doesn’t get his fair share of girls, it’s not that he’s jealous even, despite Roger’s constant outpacing of him, it’s just that he’s always sort of... played it safe. Sharp is intriguing at times. And from what he’s heard, it’s fun.

It’s easy to put out of his mind most of the time, like now for instance, it’s Halloween after all, he’s got bigger things to worry about. Like a costume.

“And what are you supposed to be?” Freddie doesn’t even stop once the door is opened, just swans past into the shared apartment, making a beeline for the fridge.

“Well I’m James Bond, aren’t I?” Brian frowned, shutting the door and fiddling self-consciously with his buttons. Freddie’s already cracked one of the beers from the fridge as he leans against the counter, appraising Brian and his suit for a long moment.

“You’re no Sean Connery,” Freddie finally concedes, before taking a swig, “though I could see George Lazenby I suppose.” Brian just rolls his eyes and throws himself onto the sofa, waiting for Roger to finish getting ready and John to show up before they all head to the party together. 

Freddie, for his part, is wearing a ratty fur coat that looks like it’s being held together by hope and lint, and calling himself a werewolf, while John shows up with what looks to be a bolt on either side of his neck, his hair slicked back in a way that’s very different from Brian’s, claiming to be Frankenstein’s monster. Roger’s got a plastic knife on a headband, and some fake bloodstained clothes, and he flips off the others as they boo him for his lack of effort. Freddie throws an empty beer can at him. Brian tuts, and tells him that Ash will be disappointed. Roger throws Freddie’s empty beer can at him in response.

The party’s being held by one of Freddie’s friends from university, and Brian is thankful it’s Halloween, because despite the party being held in a flat, they couldn’t get away with music this loud on a regular Tuesday night. The flat turns out to be an entire floor of a dorm, and the party turns out to be a rather rowdy round of predrinks before they all head to the pub to get properly shitfaced, though many seem to be getting close to hammered already, despite it being only eight.

Freddie’s disappeared into the crowd about two minutes after they get in the door. It’s like some shitty, new-age masquerade, between makeup and hair and costumes and masks, absolutely no-one is recognisable, that is, if there was anyone to recognise; there’s even a very tall ghost that Brian deduces is actually one person on someone else’s shoulders beneath a sheet. That seems unsafe.

John makes his way to the kitchen without too much preamble, and Brian follows him with a six pack of beers in hand, though Roger starts searching through the crowd to see if Ash has turned up yet. It’s been a while since Brian had been to a uni bar night, and he’d forgotten how overwhelming they could be. 

John manages to strike up a conversation with a young woman dressed like Wonder Woman who’s sitting on the counter, and Brian spots Freddie in the middle of an animated discussion at the side of the room, but that’s about the same time as the two-person ghost, or at least the top of the two-person ghost, runs smack bang into one of the overhead lights, and even over the music Brian can hear the all too familiar ‘ow, fuck!’.

The bottom of the ghost pulls off the sheet, and there, sitting on her former RA’s shoulders, is Ash, one hand on his head for stability, the other holding a can of beer to her sore forehead. And okay, Brian wishes his first thought was of her safety, to ask if she’s okay, but his words sort of die in his throat because she’s dressed like a gogo dancer and the sight of her in tiny, bright red shorts and a silver, frilled tank top might have broken something in his brain.

Being taller than the rest of the crowd has it’s advantages, however, as the moment she’s back down on the ground, she’s already being greeted by both Roger and Freddie who managed to spot her. Brian gets another drink. His rented suit feels ill-fitting, both because it is, and because he’s far too sober for this crowd.

Brian never seen Ash drunk, he realises when she’s stumbling into the kitchen with Roger behind her absolutely roaring with laughter, and her whole face lights up as she finally spots Brian and John.

“My boys!” She sounds absolutely delighted as she throws her arms in the air, crumpled beer can in her hand. The beer can is thrown into the sink, which John moves to the recycling after she’s done hugging him. She takes a moment before she hugs Brian, exaggerated frown on her face as she smooths out his lapels, before looking up at him.

“You clean up alright,” she says, finally smiling, and he raises an eyebrow at her, his words.

“What glowing praise; you know I straightened my hair for this.” He huffed, to which Ash rolled her eyes, flipping her own hair over her shoulder.

“So did I,” after a beat, her hand came up to pluck at the shoulder of his jacket, “rented?” He nods once and her expression sours. “You put more effort in than that muppet at least.” She grumbles, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder at Roger who was eyeing off the bowl of chips with a surprising intensity, before he gives an indignant ‘hey’. 

Ash’s gogo boots give her a little height when they hug, but he still bends enough so she can wrap her arms around his neck. Drunk, affectionate, and enthusiastic, she presses her cheek to his, leans into the hug, before she leans back and gives him a shove so she can get to the refrigerator. 

“All I’m saying,” the way she starts the sentence makes Brian think it’s a conversation that she was picking up in the middle of, and she emerges from the fridge with two drinks in hand, moving back to stand at the counter by Roger, “is that you could have come to me, I could have made something for you.” 

“And you would have complained the whole time,” Roger counters, opening his drink and wrapping an arm around Ash. 

“Of definitely,” Ash agrees, leaning against him, her cheek resting on his shoulder, “but anything’s better than whatever this is.” With a grin, she pinches at the shirt by his hip. When Roger goes to lean his head against hers, the plastic knife on the headband pokes Ash, and her yelp overshadows his rebuttal. Without hesitating she yanks the headband from his head, stepping up in front of him. “See, this whole design is fucking atrocious-”

“Without the knife” Roger just seems amused, his hands on her ass as he pulls her to stand close, between his legs as he leans against the counter, “I’m just some dickhead in a bloody shirt.”

“Yeah, I said the whole design-” But Ash’s voice dies in her throat at she catches the way Roger’s smiling at her, equal parts amused and endeared; she actually sounds bashful where she’s suddenly fiddling with the headband, looking at it rather than at Roger’s smile, “stop it, I’m trying to make a point.” She muttered, blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Stop what? I’m listening; atrocious design, I’m dating a seamstress, etcetera, etcetera,” he only grins wider when she looks up at him like she doesn’t know whether or not to roll her eyes. He pulls her closer, if it were even possible, his forehead resting against hers, still smiling at her like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and how it makes her heart beat just a little faster, “what point were you making again, love?”

With a grin, Ash leans back, gently putting the headband back, before she wraps her arms around Roger’s neck. Which is about the time Brian decides he needs to leave the kitchen; he gets enough of this at home, he doesn’t need to deal with it on Halloween. He strongly considers grabbing Deaky before he makes a break for it; there’s barely space between Ash and Roger, and proximity like that, especially with alcohol involved, always lead to far more PDA than anyone should rightly have to witness, but Deaky’s already by the record player and bopping along.

It gets easier to go through predrinks and not think about Ash’s thighs in those shorts, which shouldn’t rightly be called shorts, when he finds Freddie, who goes around introducing him to everyone he knows at the party. Ash’s old RA recognises him, makes conversation easily, and the two bond over both going for their Masters degrees. But then the music is off and it’s already almost eleven and everyone’s making their way to the pub, and Brian’s halfway down the street when he hears ‘I can’t walk faster I’ve got little legs and I’m in heels!’

“Barely,” Freddie scoffs in return.

“They’re taller than yours!” Ash snipes back, though there’s laughter in her voice, and maybe it’s because he’s already seen her on someone’s shoulders earlier in the night, the seed of the idea being planted in his mind, but Brian hears himself offering to carry her.

“You never offer to carry me anywhere,” Roger sulks as Ash gleefully climbs onto Brian’s shoulders from a park bench, her thighs smooth against his cheeks when she settles into place. 

“Ask me again when you shave your legs,” Brian says loftily, and Ash actually giggles at that, her hands resting gently on his head, his aggressively slicked-back hair, for stability. Conversation continues as normal, but it’s getting really fucking difficult to not think about how smooth and soft her thighs are, how she still smells faintly like some sort of fruity perfume. At one point she scrapes her nails across his scalp, through his straightened hair in a way that no-one’s really been able to in a long time, and he actually has to swallow and involuntary groan. She seems absolutely oblivious from her perch.

The pub is practically bursting at the seams with people, and within five minutes Brian’s found himself alone. Or well, not alone, there’s been quite a few girls who seem rather enamoured with him and his suit, girls who want to buy him drinks or take him home. There’s a girl with dark hair and dark eyes in a particularly striking cat costume, but there’s just something about her that doesn’t feel right. Or maybe it’s him, maybe it’s the night, maybe he’s tired of safe girls, and of the sound of his best mate getting off with the bartender down the hall. 

Sometimes, like right now, sitting on a sofa in the corner of the pub, he considers being with someone like Ash, a departure from what he liked to consider ‘his type’. Usually he’s fine, he and Ash have been friends for years at this point, she’s been with Roger - okay they won’t say exactly for how long - longer than either of them are willing to admit, which means he always tries to keep his wandering eyes away from her, and yeah okay he’s considered her in the abstract at times - sometimes personal times, when the the flat went quiet and all he had was the echoes of her moans ringing in his ears, which makes him feel both gross, and like a bad friend - but he’s never seriously considered her. 

Halloween’s got him feeling all sorts of ways, none of them good for him.

Besides, she’s too mean for him, too mean by half. Perfect for Roger though.

However, speak of the devil; before he registers what’s happening, there’s a flurry of movement, of shiny fringe and red, leather shorts, of giggling, and Ash bursts from the crowd and falls back onto the sofa, over the arm and into Brian’s lap. It’s as if she barely registers him as Roger follows where he’s holding her hand, and he sits on the little sofa, pulling Ash into a kiss, but she’s still in Brian’s lap. He might be panicking, just a little, caught in red handed in his indecent thoughts.

“Guys,” they don’t seem to be paying him attention, so he gives Ash a gentle, awkward shove, “guys.” He tries more insistently.

“Sorry,” Ash is giggling, leaning back to give Brian an apologetic look, and his chin an affectionate scratch. He notes there’s already a hickey blooming on her collar as she climbs from him to sit herself in Roger’s lap, to straddle him and go back to kissing him. Brian’s still feeling too close for comfort on this two-person sofa.

“Should I crash at Freddie’s tonight?” He asks loudly, and Ash trails kisses down Roger’s throat as he answers.

“I mean if you wanna hear him and Mary go at it, be my guest.” Roger snickered, before he lifted Ash’s chin with his finger, grinning at where she was stifling a laugh of her own, tipsy enough to be amused at the whole situation. 

“Great,” Brian rolled his eyes, muttering low enough that he thought they wouldn’t hear, “hear Freddie and Mary or you guys.”

“Or you could stop sulking and join us,” Ash offers, leaning back to look Brian in the eyes where she may have just broken his brain from a second time that night. After a very long moment has passed, Roger, who hand been waiting patiently, squeezes her ass, the nails of his other hand digging impatiently into her thighs. Sharp. 

Brian looks to Roger now, who would look almost bored if not for his smirk; he’s so carefully casual.

“What?” Brian directs the question to Roger now, and the smirk widens, just a little. His thumb rubs gently over the little half-moon nail indents he’s left on Ash’s thigh that’ll fade in a few minutes.

“Anything to stop you being all passive aggressive about your blue balls around the flat,” he snorts, and Ash grins as Brian feels himself turn scarlet, “you know you can only make tea angrily first thing in the morning so many times before I realise something’s actually wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong!” He tries to protest, “and I don’t need a pity shag, and I really don’t need a pity anything from you, Roger.” He scoffs, and Roger just shrugs, leaning back against the sofa, his gaze sliding to Ash, but he’s still smiling. Ash looks half amused, but there’s something in her gaze, with her pupils blown wide and dark, that has Brian’s breath catch in her throat.

“Christ, you think I’m the kind of person who pity-fucks?” She rolls her eyes, and both Roger and Brian manage to show some restraint; Roger about her colourful first year in London, and Brian about Roger, but the moment passes. “Anyways, don’t mind him, he’s a dickhead,” she swatted dismissively at Roger as he pinched her ass in protest, “but it’s not a pity shag, though he’s right about the tea thing.” She laughs a little at that, “either way, the offer’s-” and her lips twist into a sharp, dangerous smile that has Brian’s heart rate pick up in his chest, “the offer’s there, at least for tonight,” a beat passes before her grin turns to something amused, “you know, if you wanna be on the other side of those thin-ass walls.”

“Maybe you’re just loud,” Brian says before he fully registers what he’s saying, though it delights Ash and Roger. “Well if,” he hesitates for a moment, and the other two occupants of the couch wait, and Ash tries her best not to look to eager, worried that she’s going to scare him off, “if we’re going to do this we’re not doing it here; Freddie would have a field day.” Ash, as if suddenly remembering the presence of everyone else in the bar, nods quickly, a blush rising on her cheeks.

“I would like to still be able to look John in the eye,” Roger agreed. Ash is the first to stand, to offer her hand to both boys with a pleased and knowing little smile that is far cuter than it has any right to be given the situation. They tell the other’s they’re leaving-

“Together?” Freddie smirks, raising an eyebrow at Brian before he looks back at Ash and Roger, “kinky.” He smirks, and Ash pointedly rolled her eyes at him.

“Don’t be gross, Freds.” She admonished before kissing him on the cheek and giving John a hug. He may have been joking, but there’s still a paranoia, a nervousness that permeates half of the walk back to their flat. Roger’s got his arm around Ash and they’re bantering easily in the night air, Roger bringing up other costumes he saw during the night and Ash rating them as either better or worse than his terrible murder-victim costume. Brian is quiet, has a smoke and looks up at the stars while they walk. However, as they get closer to the flat, as Ash takes his hand to give a reassuring squeeze, he can feel the paranoia melting away, and he lets him self actually feel a little excitement. 

It’s weird, of course it’s weird, the moment they step back into the flat there’s a hesitation, a bit of confusion, a ‘okay, we’re here, now what?’ and Ash steps through into the living room.

“Anyone want a drink?” She calls, and the tension breaks as both Roger and Brian agree, following quickly after her. Roger flops onto the sofa to wait for her to come back, but Brian, still a little hesitant, follows her into the kitchen. She’s pulling out beers from the back of the fridge when he finds her, bent over to get at the emergency stash, which was the only thing usually left after a night out. 

He takes a good, long moment to admire the visual before he hears a loud cough, and looking beyond just her ass in those shorts, he sees Ash peering back at him from the fridge, grinning. After a moment, she straightens up and turns back to where he’s fumbling for an excuse; he doesn’t need one, not tonight. She offers him his drink.

“Can I-?” He takes the drink and only pauses for a beat, stepping into her space and putting the can on the counter beside the fridge before he’s cupping her face in his hands. In that moment, he searches her eyes for any hesitation, and sense that something was off or wrong, but instead, she’s smiling.

“Of course, love,” and she raises herself on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as he leans in, slow and deliberate, before his lips are on hers. She kisses softer than expected, not that he really knows what he was expecting, not that he’s ever really thought of her in this sort of way before; she’s not blind, obviously, but he’s always tried to keep some modicum of professionalism between them. But that’s a problem for tomorrow Brian to mend. 

“Hey-” Brian moves back a little, and Ash takes the moment to hop up onto the counter, and Brian’s hands come to rest on her thighs like he’s seen Roger do so many times before, “don’t call me ‘love’, it’s just- it’s a bit weird.” Ash looks like she wants to make a joke, an amused glint in her eyes, but instead she snaps her mouth shut, nodding, before pulling him to stand close between her legs.

“Noted; can do.” She goes to kiss him again, but Brian can’t help but ask the question that’s been plaguing him since the offer first arose.

“Is this something you two talked about?” He asked, and Ash’s expression became a little wry as she leaned back, her arms moving from around his neck to propping her up as she leaned back, giving him an evaluative stare.

“Of course the possibility came up.”

“Me specifically?” He asks, and Ash seems a little confused, a little fond, as if wondering why he was asking now of all times. After a moment, he hears the soft thump of her heels gentle against the cupboards as she swings her legs.

“Well I called Twiggy but she wasn’t available,” Brian’s eyebrows shoot up at that, and there’s a strange moment that passes as Ash watches him consider the joke and it’s implications, before he decides to let it go, brow furrowing as he returns to his initial dilemma.

“Yeah but-”

“I think I know where this is going;” she cuts him off with a soft smile, sitting just a little straighter, “Freddie is a brother to me and John - how do I put this delicately -” she does actually pause, considering her words and dropping his gaze as her expression edges on self deprecating, though she can’t actually bring herself to voice her thoughts.

“Should know better?” Brian fills in for her, and Ash tips her head from side to side as she turns thoughtful for a moment.

“Not in such blunt terms but yes, essentially.” Finally she looks back at him, green eyes wide and dark, her lipstick having been rubbed off much earlier in the night, with mascara still clinging to her eyelashes. 

“How are you doing with all of this?” She’s so gentle when she asks, taking a completely different tone than just a moment before. There’s no hesitation here, just sincerity and care; they’re friends after all, and Brian knows if he wanted everything to stop here, if he wanted to step away and leave Roger and Ash to their own devices, he could without question. 

“Doing great, actually,” he assured, and Ash visibly relaxed, leaning off her hands so they could join his on her thighs. She echoes his words back at him, confirming, just a little bit teasing, and Brian feels the tension leave him as he just laughs and leans in to kiss her, but she grins.

“And I could tell you liked my outfit,” and she closed the gap between them before he can answer, though the way his hands slide to her ass is enough of a confirmation for her.

It starts soft, her lips gentle against his, but then Brian deepens the kiss, his tongue gliding and insistent against her lips as he pulls her closer to him, and her fingers fumble with the chunky, plastic buttons of his jacket. There’s a deliberation that comes with every move Brian makes, an uncertainty, like he’s still trying to keep that professionalism between them for even a few more moments. The moment the jacket’s unbuttoned, Ash’s hands move across his chest, to his shoulders and sliding the jacket down his arms. It takes only a second to shrug out of the jacket and for Brian to have his hands on her hips, holding firm, and her arms now around his neck.

“Glad to see you’re warming up to the idea,” Roger sounds amused from the door, and Ash has to take a moment to lean back and laugh, and even Brian’s grinning, a little flushed.

“He was wondering why him.” Ash filled in with a grin, leaning around Brian to pass Roger his beer. 

“DId you tell him it’s because I’ve already seen him naked?” Roger asks it like it’s answer enough, and Brian stepped back, turning red at his words, spluttering protests as Ash just laughed harder. “You keep leaving your towel in your room when you shower! It happened enough times that I-”

“Yeah, alright,” An embarrassed flush rising on his cheeks, watching as Roger takes his place, stepping into Ash’s space. 

“Come on, let’s move this somewhere less kitchen,” he suggested, and Ash grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before he wrapped an arm around her to help pull her off the counter and onto her feet, his other hand still holding his drink.

They drink on the sofa, well Brian and Roger do, Ash claims she’s had enough and settles for taking off her boots and putting her feet up. It does a world of good, putting them all at ease that is; they talk about Halloween and about Roger’s awful costume, and Brian careful does not say that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of those fucking red shorts Ash is still wearing, but he’s got his hand on her thigh, high on her thigh, as they’re laughing and talking and it feels... good. 

And when the drinks are finished and the conversation dies down and Brian moves his hand higher, brushing against her through the leather of her shorts, Ash lets out a pleased sigh, shifting her hips before she makes a face.

“I will need some help out of these pants,” she admits. There’s a beat, both Brian and Roger frown at her questioningly, “like yes in the usual ‘undress me’ way, but also,” and she laughs a little self consciously, “they’re really hard to get into and watching me struggle alone to get them off isn’t exactly the hottest thing in the world, I’d imagine.”

“Here?” Roger asks. “We can’t exactly fit three people on the couch, who’s bedroom do we go to?” And with that one question, Brian felt himself filled with hesitation again.

“We can’t even fit two people on here.” Ash is thoughtful as she takes a moment to consider.

“We can, but it gave you a back ache last time.” Roger reminds her, and Ash snorts at the memory, getting to her feet.

“Guys, gross, I sit here, use some discretion would you?” Brian sighed.

“Alright, you’re not allowed to call any of our sex stuff gross tonight,” Roger argued, turning on Brian with raised eyebrows. Ash had already taken off in the direction of Brian’s bedroom.

“I’ll call it gross if I want to because it is gross; it’s where I eat.” 

“Well I eat in bed sometimes that doesn’t mean-” 

“Roger’s bed is bigger.” Ash calls from the doorframe to his bedroom, interrupting them both. They turn to her, still frowning a little, but as she watches them both, she untucks her singlet from her shorts and pulls it off in one fluid move, tossing the shirt to the side, bra-less and only wearing those damn shorts. “And for the record Brian,” she smirks, gaze flitting to the couch, before she looks back at him. A pause follows, and Ash looks like she’s reconsidering what she was about to say as she turns pink, bursting out with laughter, “no, I can’t say it, I still want to fuck you; if I say it, it’ll just made you mad.”

“Something about eating out?” Roger asks with a cocky grin, and Ash nods, hiding her laughter behind her hand.

“You two deserve each other, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Brian sighs, but he’s grinning, blushing a little at the thought, and the sound of both of them laughing is light and bright and it lifts the awkwardness as they make their way to Roger’s room. 

Roger’s the first in there, Brian hanging back just a little, and when he gets there, he catches the end of Roger’s ‘- great, how about you?’ 

“Yeah, great sounds about right.” She agrees, standing at the edge of the bed so she can pull off his shirt, and Roger peppers kisses to her bare chest now that it’s at the perfect height, and there’s something endearing about the fact that she’s still not taller than Brian like that.

“Oi, voyeur, pervert, whatever you wanna call yourself,” there’s no malice in her words as she looks over to Brian, grinning sharply as she cards a hand through Roger’s hair where he’s got one of her nipples in his mouth, “either that damn rented suit goes, or you do.” She beckons him over, and Brian can’t help but roll his eyes with a smile.

“You’re consistent, you know that? You’re very consistent.” And he’s fumbling with the buttons of the shirt as he crosses to the bed in quick strides, far more confident this time when he kisses her. It’s easier, she’s almost his height, and she’s grinning against him, working to untie his bowtie before it comes loose. The next moment she gasping, hands fisting in the fabric of his now unbuttoned shirt. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” she breathes, grinning and a little flustered as Roger presses a kiss to the bite mark he’d left on her boob, “hey- oi-” firmer this time, she moves back, gently shoving them away, stepping back to look between them, “I feel under-dressed,” she laughs, though there’s a surprising note of honesty in her words, and even in the relative darkness, Brian can see the tense set of her shoulders, can hear the bed creaking, giving away the way her weight is shifting from one foot to the other.

“Are you- Ash are you alright with this?” He asks, voice gentle as Roger reaches out to rest a reassuring hand on her hip. Ash just laughs, loud and dismissive and completely fake.

“Of course, have you met me?” She doesn’t even seem convinced, and it takes only a beat for her to sigh, crossing her arms over her chest. “I want it to be good for you guys so it’s not weird.”

“It’s going to be weird for like two days anyways,” Roger shrugged, pulling his shirt and tossing it to the side, “sometimes friends shag, it’s not a big deal.” After a beat he added, “but if you don’t want to-”

“No, that’s the thing, I really want to,” she half laughs at her own enthusiasm, before dropping her gaze, voice getting a little softer, “I’ve just never really done this before, and, well, um-” she pauses for a moment, face turning scarlet, though they don’t notice, as her gaze flicks to Brian for the barest moment, “how do I put this? Like, physically... I’m little.” It’s Brian’s turn to blush and Roger chokes on a laugh. Ash is quick to backpedal, giggling a little herself at the implications, “I mean, everything’s going to- god this getting worse by the minute - I meant in terms of height, asshole!” She snorts, shoving Roger’s shoulder where he’s smirking at her.

“I mean, it’s never really been a problem for anyone else,” Brian pipes up finally after clearing his throat, and Ash lets out a tentative smile, “and it’s easier with a bed, too, so... there’s that.”

“There is that,” Ash agreed with a mischievous and renewed energy. There’s another flurry of movement, of her bouncing off the bed, pressing a quick kiss to Roger’s lips, she assures that she’ll be with him in a moment, and he smacks her on the ass before flopping himself onto the bed, already unzipping his pants with a lazy confidence.

Ash steps into Brian’s space; “you’re still overdressed.” But her hand is still when it comes to rest, palm flat, on his stomach just below his navel, her other hand hovering at the waistband of his pants by his hip. “We good?” She asks gently; her nails scrape against his belly and shiver runs down his spine.

“Great.”

Let’s Talk About Return to Dominaria Episode 9

This one is a fast one, because it’s late, but I feel like there’s a lot to talk about. Here’s the story link. I got exactly what I wanted from Jaya and Karn, but the compressed timeframe for the story and some transitional problems become apparent here. Sorry it’s late, but it’s been a super busy week at work and I wasn’t able to fit it into my usual lunchtime routine.

Chandra’s Outburst by Yongjae Choi

Chandra paced back and forth on the loose dirt near Karn's crater, waving her hands. "Are you kidding me? You've been lying all this time? Why?" They were surrounded by piles of smoldering trees and pieces of wrecked automatons, the air heavy with smoke. Furious, she faced Luti. Or Jaya. Or whoever this was. "Why would you do this to me?"

"Not everything is about you, Chandra." Jaya was annoyingly calm.

I already love Jaya. I’m very, very happy with how this reveal was pulled off, and I’m glad Jaya is way more than her Mother Luti persona.

Jaya sighed. "A long time ago, I went to Regatha, helped a few people, got drunk, talked a lot, apparently did some very impressive pyromancy, then left. Two hundred years later, I went back and found they'd started a religion based on me." She folded her arms and admitted, "It was all a little embarrassing, frankly."

This is quite possibly the best quote ever.

"I didn't want to be a religious icon, but I had to make sure they weren't misrepresenting me!" Jaya said, as if it was obvious. "And I thought I owed them a little guidance. Where do you think the monastery kept getting those 'long-lost writings of Jaya Ballard' from?"

This is EXACTLY what I called out in Jaya Ballard Returns. I love that this blows Chandra’s mind.

Jaya laughed. "Oh, don't look like that." She sighed and her expression turned serious. "I felt guilty. I never meant them to take me that seriously, but there they were, years later, treating me like an all-knowing deity. But I liked the work they were doing, helping young pyromancers. I'd been aging for sixty years, and I wanted to do something worthwhile for what was left of my life." She eyed Chandra. "You have some idea of how hard it can be to help those kids. They're impatient, reckless, refuse to listen to anyone . . ."

THE SHADE. Jaya is like

"And now I'll let you tell me what I need to know to be a more powerful pyromancer."

Jaya took the goggles, and her expression turned hard as stone. "Absolutely not."

"When I was Mother Luti, you dismissed me as a useless old woman. As Jaya Ballard, suddenly I'm worth listening to."

"What are you digging for?" She had been so busy arguing with Jaya yesterday, she hadn't even thought to ask.

"The Cylix," he told her. "It was created by Urza to help defeat the Phyrexians. I intend to take it to New Phyrexia and detonate it there."

"So it's like a bomb? A giant bomb?"

"Exactly like a giant bomb," Karn said.

A couple notes here.

Urza did not create the Golgothian Sylex. I can absolutely see why history would think he did.

“Sylex” is not a real word. Everything after antiquities has used Cylix. This is not an error but the fixing of an error.

"Yes, to help protect the excavation from Multani's attacks. In his semiconscious state, he senses that the Cylix is being uncovered, brought closer to the surface, and he fears it. For good reason; it caused great damage to him.

Ha! I apparently called this one, almost exactly, last month.

"Yeah." Still watching Karn, Jaya shook her head a little. "Everyone I've talked to thinks the Phyrexians aren't a threat anymore, but . . . He needs to do this. I just wish he didn't."

Chandra frowned. "They destroyed a whole plane, so why is destroying them a bad thing?" The problem with interplanar threats was that by the time you realized you were in danger, it was generally too late to do anything about them. Or that was how it had worked with Bolas on Amonkhet.

"Because it means he'll have to go back there." Jaya grimaced. "And that could be a disaster for a number of reasons."

It could be! We don’t know what effect it will have on New Phyrexia. A mission to New Phyrexia, in general, is fraught with dangers, not the least of which is Karn’s recapture.

But Chandra looked back at Multani. Karn had said he was semiconscious, that he would never do any of this if he was awake and aware. She didn't want to leave him like that. And she thought she knew a solution. "No, you two go. I want to try to fix this."

"Fix it?" Jaya asked, startled. "How?"

"Something a friend of mine showed me."

They’re leaning into Gruulfriends here a bit, aren’t they?

She said, "I know you can hear me. I know you don't want to be like this, you don't want to hurt people. That's not what you are. Think about water, still cool water. Flowing over your skin, your bark, into your branches and leaves. You're a light, floating on that water."

Just saying the words like Nissa had, visualizing them, made Chandra feel calmer. I miss her, and I don't know if I'm ever going to see her again. Chandra imagined the light floating on the water herself and let her emotions still into a calm sadness. She remembered what Jaya had said about knowing your true self and added, "I know you don't want to hurt anyone. Sink into the water, find your true self waiting there. Remember—remember who you are . . ."

"I don't want to fight with you, Jaya. I'm sorry about how I treated you and I understand why you don't want to help me. I wouldn't want to help me, either. But I hope we can still be friends."

Jaya eyed her, a small smile tugging at her mouth.

Hey, more character growth for Chandra, that’s not all that common so I’m happy with this.

Teferi lifted his brows. "Karn could help. But you forget, I'm no longer a Planeswalker. Unless Bolas comes here . . ." He trailed off as Jhoira lifted her pendant and opened it. His eyes widened.

"I'd never forget that," Jhoira said, watching him gravely. The Powerstone in the locket was reflected in Teferi's eyes. He had recognized it immediately, felt its call to him.

Karn leaned forward to look. "It's your spark?"

Teferi's brow furrowed. "How?" he said.

"The Mana Rig." She held it out to him. "Will you take it back?"

Lol, okay, so this makes it pretty clear we’re not getting the metaphysics for how this happened. Just accept that it did. That’s fine, I doubt any attempt to explain the metaphysics of it would actually help in any meaningful way.

Teferi expended his spark on Shiv to restore it. I’m sure that if Jhoira could detect the dispersed power, she could charge a powerstone with it somehow. Not a big deal.

"He didn't tell you about the Black Blade," Liliana said, with an irritated glance at him. "It's a sword that slew an elder dragon, and Gideon is too delicate to allow us to use it."

I’m pretty sure this ends with Gideon using it (which we know from the flavor text) because he doesn’t want anyone else to make that sacrifice.

A thump of displaced air made him flinch, then with a sudden blaze of blue light, someone else stood in the compartment.

Gideon shoved out of his chair and grabbed for his sword. Jaya was already on her feet, Liliana threw herself back against the wall and lifted her hands to cast a spell, and Chandra vaulted on top of the table, fire already crackling around her hair. Then Gideon froze, recognizing the aether trail almost before he recognized the newcomer's face. "Jace!"

This is heavily incongruous with the time frame presented in the Ixalan story, where Jace has been for about five months.

The time from HOU to this story, as presented for Chandra, is less than two weeks.

That’s not a small discrepancy. A few days are whatever, a few months are... significantly confusing. 

I talk a bit about my unhappyness with this continuity error here.

Basically, I’m of a few minds about it. I don’t like being the continuity police, and I’m willing to overlook quite a bit. Dominaria is weird because there is a lot of deliberately misremembered history, too, so it’s not always clear whats a continuity error and what characters don’t actually have their facts straight.

I think what happened here is the timeline for developing Dominaria and Rivals of Ixalan’s stories overlapped, and some details were lost in translation. It’s entirely possible that, simply, no one realized the timelines didn’t match up. Ixalan was a labor of love by Kelly and Alison, along with editor Gregg Luben. Those credits show an incredibly short staffed creative team that’s only gotten more so. It’s possible that simply put, no one had time to triple check for continuity errors like that. The Jace scene, as written, isn’t a big deal because that kind of thing happens all the time in serialized stories like this, but there are a few other questionable bits of continuity in the stories for Dominaria that I’ve mentioned in this series as ‘huh?’ moments.

Ultimately, I’m going to chalk it up to growing pains. I’m looking at getting an interview with the new Senior Narrative Franchise Designer so we can get a better idea of what the story development process looks like these days.

*STRONG LANGUAGE WARNING, SKIP AHEAD IF NECESSARY*

And honestly, I’ve thought about it a lot, and you need to understand how much of a continuity clusterfuck most of Magic’s history is, especially regarding early Magic history. The difference of a few months is a big continuity error to us today, but that really just speaks well to the current creative team because once upon a time timelines didn’t line up, characters existed in different forms across different novels centuries apart, and the same location existed on completely different continents, among other shenanigans.

Dominaria’s issues are incredibly minor by comparison.

Jhoira smiled faintly. "I don't know what the future holds, and this might be a moment we both regret later. But this is a weapon you should have." She pulled the pendant off her neck and dropped it into Teferi's waiting palm. "Welcome back."

How does he get his spark back out, though? Does he eat it? I imagine this is going to be another one that’s just not explained.