ive gotta fucking beat my brain with a stick man

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne Characters: Joker (DCU), Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson (mentioned), Batfamily members (mentioned) Additional Tags: Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Top Bruce Wayne, Bottom Joker (DCU), Angst, Repression, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Canon-Typical Violence, Power Dynamics, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Canon-Typical Sexually-Charged Fighting

Summary: Batman goes to Arkham to interrogate Joker about an ongoing case, fully intending to beat him into submission at the first hint of provocation. But then Joker doesn’t provoke him.

Or, Bruce has some anger to vent. But for once, Joker doesn’t feel like playing along.

So, I coughed up this one-shot, which is one third Joker screwing with Bruce’s head, one third Bruce and Joker fighting and being horny about it, and the last third just Bruce being horny in the privacy of his own shower. Started out from ‘man I’d love to write a Batjokes fight’ and ended up here at nearly 5.5k words later. Woo... Hope the self-indulgent filth is enjoyable!

Completely normal (was in the 0.01% of Mechanisms listeners, and apparently listened to them for 38% of my time on Spotify this year.)

Completely. Normal.

Sometimes I’ll be doing a mindless task like sautéing broccoli, and my brain will decide something like, “hey, let’s write skk kissing.” Like??? What am I supposed to do?? Burn the broccoli because I suddenly need to write? 

im annoyed and a little pedantic so can i just say as a blanket statement

queerbaiting is when the promotion for a FICTIONAL STORY intentionally hints towards two characters having a romantic relationship, without any intention to follow through in the show, in order to get queer people watching without discouraging the homophobic enjoyers of the show

queerbaiting is NOT:

a celebrity who you think is queer because theyre gnc or they have a 'vibe'. that is a real person and they cannot queerbait

two friends of the same gender pretending to flirt with each other for fun. those are real people and they cannot queerbait

a show with two characters of the same gender who are canonically friends that YOU PERSONALLY think would be better in a relationship. that's not bating, that's shipping, and subject to opinion

there are more but those are the main examples of people misunderstanding what queerbaiting is and being mad at something that isn't actually a problem

considering watching yugioh but had to check if it was the right level of insane for me

I'm not so sure, Sanji. This is an important question.

Hey... good luck!

I'm giving this thing a second life. A re-release into the wild. A new chance to bask in the sun.

We're opening up a rift in the Braccatolian space. Won't see us coming. Kind of scary. Then stop. Once the Empire is established, and there's a new Gallifrey in the heavens, maybe then it stops... the drumming, the never ending drumbeat. Ever since I was a child, I looked into the Vortex — that's when it chose me. The drumming, the call to war. Can't you hear it?

at least south downs cottage makes sense now

currently thinking about how the dream eater symbol is bigger than rikus actual character symbol on his track plate in MoM

like. both sora and roxas have their character symbols as the larger icon, and a token of friendship as the smaller one

but for some reason on rikus, the dream eater symbol takes priority

like. does that mean his identity as a dream eater is more important than his own symbol? the one that most likely represents his entire character arc, given that its a heartless symbol w/o the cross???

anyway i started reading one of the manga that gege akutami reportedly took inspiration from for jjk and it is Wilder in so many ways than i could have ever imagined

Wait I just realized something. Alice is part of the God Possessed Pentious AU. However, she’s also a part of your Zestious fic “A Hundred Years and Many More”. Does… does that imply that, at least in your fic, Zestial had a crush on Pentious. Then Pentious died and got possessed by God. If so, I cannot WAIT for that reaction!

“The guy I had a crush on is, not only alive, but is also GOD’S VESSEL!!????!!!” [insert Catholic Guilt here]

Hi, thanks for the ask! "A Hundred Years and Many More" was more of a test run for the backstory, and the backstory (with Alice's glorious presence uwu) is actually part of the au

BUT

I think it'd be hilarious if Zestial and Pentious had this lingering crush on each other the entire time XD Maybe Zestial's was born out of intrigue more than romance, but they both had CRUSHES

And now god's over here like "what's with you and crushing on people who could destroy you??? what the fuck, man???" because he knows. Pentious can't really hide his massive crushes because he can't hide shit XD

lean??1!? green???1!1?! AND a ninja team??1!1!!!?!

from barbatos’s 20 intimacy phone call

i feel like this more or less confirms diavolo was quite young when he “convinced” barbatos to become his butler. (i feel a bit vindicated by the fact that diabarb has always been a squick of mine lmao) 

anyway so ignoring the context of this call (which SHOULD have been longer!! justice for barbatos!!) time to ramble about their relationship for a second hfdjfdhdf

i’m honestly kind of emotional about the fact that while, yes diavolo is a demon and does demonic things... both the narrative and characters like solomon will make a point to show that by the standards of demons, diavolo is a good person? And you can tell how much barbatos loves him even if he considers (or says) serving him is a selfish act of atonement 

idk this is incoherent, but something about the found family dynamic between the character with objectively the most “demonic” history and diavolo who is trying to change the devildom for the better and, YES, is framed as being objectively morally “good” for a demon gets me SO MUCH. this is honestly my favorite familial relationship in obey me 🥺