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vargaslovinghours · 7 months

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It's here! It's the big one-oh! Get ready for the 10th! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)

Starting off with some Just Desserts stuff; it's not exactly against the rules to modify Pets with features they wouldn't naturally have - like a cat with wings - but it is side-eyed by other players

He might be projecting just a little bit lol

Obviously he'd support Joel wiping the floor with other Pets in the arena haha

Next one's a continuation, comic-style!

Since they've only got the one pet between them, they have to take turns directing Joel so he doesn't get confused on who to listen to haha, I'm sure it doesn't help that they have similar voices and Scriabin is constantly butting in. I think in this setting Edgar might be able to get away with pushing him around a little more haha ♪ He'll still pay for that later :)

FNF x Vargas! Quick, who wants to collab as I know Nothing about music composition lol - what might their voices/instrumentation sound like! I’ve always been a fan of strings for Edgar, piano for Scriabin personally :)

These were the two poses I had the absolute strongest mental images for, so they get the big pretties! Scriabin having a secondary feature to his Up animation (not just pointing a finger gun but also “shooting” it), only being visible when the note is held ah, I just love the animation in my mind’s eye lol

Two poses inspired by their bouncies! Edgar’s Down and Scriabin’s Right - I didn’t have them onhand for reference, but I’d definitely push them closer to the originals :D

I really like the idea of most of Edgar’s poses being smaller, more closed-in, and Scriabin’s being big and bombastic, but their Lefts are the opposite! Haha ♪

I've seen a good several songs that have a mid-level transformation which I find Very cool :D I suppose these could also be for different stages, but going from a whole Edgar to him missing an eye and actively bleeding and screaming and stumbling around to the music - I just think it's a neat concept lol

Scriabin's transformation would be with his wings of course!

More of the WOY idea! Scriabin's being so nice 😈♥

You know I had to draw Jake in this style, he's too cute not to, I had to! Fun proportions hehe

Two little balls of sunshine <3 This was the one where I really couldn't decide what art style I was most reminded of between Steven Universe and the rest haha

A rubber hose smooch! Cartoony mwah!

Don't be fooled Wander, kisses are temporary, bullying Edgar is forever

The topic drifted at one point to the idea of Scriabin and Edgar being able to turn their brain-sharing on and off which gave me a Two Yeses/One No idea

Started with them on equal footing - both of them can say no to oppose the other, and in order to link back up they have to both agree! And how that might look depending on who initiates hehe <3

I think it'd be good for them to have hard boundaries in place, not able to be coerced into giving up their privacy :)

As well as them being able to just tap in and Know again, Scriabin using it to be lazy and not try to communicate with his mouth haha

But even with those hard stops in place, how would sleep affect things! If he tried, could Scriabin break into Edgar's dreams? Even if he gave permission, would his subconscious allow that? :0 It's interesting!

Quick break for a scribbly concept of how I wanted my first Vargas Drabbles soft cover to look haha - I didn't end up using the red inlay but it's definitely an idea for next time 👀

Back to brain-sharing, but this time featuring a return to body-sharing! :00 I hadn't considered it until Zarla mentioned them physically phasing together and then became Very interested in exploring it, when isn’t Scriabin annoying tho lol. It’s because you love him, Edgar!

Falling back into old habits of emotionally degrading Edgar, but he has the power to kick you out now! Just try your smart mouth on him from out here, where it hurts less!

Get back in on good behaviour, or because he misses him too much ♥ I love his sweet face here I 💕💗💖❤️💞💝

How dare he be so inviting, Scriabin has to deal with a physical heart and you are trying to kill him, cruel mean Edgar (lol)

Inspired by the hug test haha ♪ Hug him!

This was supposed to be a sweet moment :( Scriabin can't help it, being vulnerable is icky haha

But when offered the opportunity, you take what you can get <3 They are so damn cute, gah

Hehe ♪ There needs to be Some level of awkwardness to it, it's still Vargas after all. Would it hurt? No, maybe more like an organ shifting back into its correct position :)

How's he supposed to help it when you make it so easy

They'd have to negotiate safe and opportune times to share minds if it required them to share a body! Scheduling when to be apart would probably be stressful, but so would being together haha

Edgar doesn't want to deal with this until he's more awake, and maybe not at all if he gets jealous hehe

And finally again, we've returned to the Two Yeses/One No idea - who gets to decide who's "No" counts once they're already enmeshed? :) Introducing the Lobster Trap ✨

“slrch” is such a gross sound effect haha

Really struggling with the concept of Scriabin’s autonomy! He quite literally exists outside of you now Edgar, you have to let him grow on his own!

Scriabin probably just wants out to do something Edgar morally objects to, enough to suffer his company while pissed. The idea of Scriabin having his own body and still having to take Edgar over to exert his own personhood again, ugh, it’s so fraught <3

The Lobster Trap has so many potential outcomes, even discounting one side over the other! Obviously I had to make as many as I could come up with lol; starting with Scriabin getting to decide when he hops in, and Edgar getting to decide if he lets him out - two yeses all around to show it As Intended, all going well :)

And here are Edgar's No options: his no overrides letting Scriabin out, but does nothing to deter Scriabin from coming in without his permission. I think this is one of the worst configurations for them haha ♪ It’s so easy for them to be cruel to each other!

Now the other way around! Scriabin has to get Edgar's permission to come in, so here's their Two Yeses :D Obviously he did it to annoy Edgar, he'll never get to read in peace haha. Not that he would even without this hehe

Edgar's No would shut Scriabin out, which I think would be good for them honestly; Edgar gets time to process things on his own without Scriabin manipulating him from the inside, and Scriabin gets to eat humble pie

Two Yeses again, though it was hard to imagine a situation where Scriabin would willingly hop out at Edgar's request - to make fun of him though? Yes ✨

And again, Edgar's No not overriding Scriabin's Yes - I think this would be really good for them! Edgar doesn't get to hold him against his will, and Scriabin doesn't get to burst in without his permission!

But really, it'll always be messy with them <3 Even in the best scenario, if Edgar's Yes overrides Scriabin's No of being forced inside - even if he couldn't hold him there, just the action of making him see from his point of view and all that entails... ♪

Little jailbird, just wants to fly away on clipped wings 💔

Now for something completely different lol. Scriabin wrote a resumé! I’m sure it’s full of accurate information to help him land a proper interview :)

Good, good, dates, prior experience, employers, skills, conquests-

Scriabin insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it

There is such a Massive difference between writing resumés and actually doing the work the resumé is required for, come on. I do love just how miffed Edgar looks tho haha

S: >:3c | E: Yeah alright point taken

Tiny spacefiller - he's so mad! He's gonna tell you all about it!

Oh hey wow Nny's still here, that's neat. Originally there was an Edgar next to him but only the main character turned out cute, rude

Quietly cutting potatoes <3 Domestic

I love Scriabin getting scared inside Edgar but him having to put on an outwardly placid face so he doesn't freak Nny out in turn haha. Nny's love language is knives

But that's where the nutrients are! Speaking of Ghost-

Teaching him how to flay skin, not necessarily strictly on potatoes hehe. I like the idea of Nny kinda spacing out when it comes to his favourite activities - yeah he hates touching people, but that takes a backseat to talking about murder and playing with knives

Obviously Edgar's a bit distracted himself lol. Nny just casually talking about what happens when you separate the flesh from the body and Edgar and Scriabin are over here discussing Just how gay this is haha

I went and reread one of my old drafts of One Way Mirror recently and ahh I’d forgotten how sassy they are with each other lol

I'm still crazy about them <3 They drive me absolutely mad 💕 I think it's funny too, since I started writing OWM while deeply fixated but didn't think much of the Flavour of my writing I didn't expect anything from rereading, but it does taste a bit like mainfic hehe ♪

I love when Scriabin argues how much he wants to "help" Edgar while controlling him up and down, Edgar's not about to take this sitting down if he can help it! Also emasculating insults my beloved ♥

Thinking again about Hunchback; not quite any of the already-established stuff (they're not playing the roles, nor are they separate and seen the movie! What!), about why Scriabin would side-eye Edgar so much during Out There. It's a good song for him :) And I love drawing him like this haha, proud and haughty angle <3

Edgar with slightly less floofy hair and the closed-line nose style from a few years ago lol ♪ I do like bridge/bottom of the nose style I've grown into, but it's still a fun style to return to every once in a while :)

And one last sneaky cheeky kiss for smooch practice before the very end! Just try and stop me! Why did Scriabin turn out so pretty tho ♥

So that's June through September, again-again! Well, almost - turns out I actually made too many sketches for my Blank Slate AU/fic - literally as many as are featured here! - so it needed its own post. So please look forward to that!

#💟#Doodles #Art #Sketchdump #Scriabin #Edgar #Jake #Nny #Blood #There's also some potential body horror and possible uncomfortable boundary-crossing so be warned #So the standard Vargas fare haha #Lots of crossovers this time! Practically crossover central in here! Lol #The FNF doodles were like 95% inspired by the absolutely Incredible Animation vs. Friday Night Funkin mod #Specifically Stickin' To It but honestly watch/listen to the whole thing it's actually incredible #I've seen some pretty amazing FNF mods but that one hits different for me it is So inspiring #I mean yeah I already love AvA lol but just ugh the amount of care and work that so obviously went into it <3 #The kind of passion is contagious! As evidenced by all the other crossovers as well lol #WOY passion <3 And yeah I'll count Just Desserts too why not haha #The biggest inspiration is still the original tho >:3c Nothing sparks images quite like The Source - of course haha #Conversation is a big aspect of that haha - all of those middle doodles of them mind sharing again were largely just from talking :D #And I mean - some leftover thoughts and feelings about You Can't Live Like This but when am I not lol #I want to see them being good to each other! I want to see them being cruel to each other!#Dynamic truly unmatched haha #I did actually write a temp resumé for Scriabin (as practice :P) but there's a lot of ambiguity left open lol #I do love them being domestic together #Some of these feel real disjointed 'cause if you read the last bit you know I had to cut a lot!#Well rather - separate them out into their own sketchdump lol I can do ~90 images but not double that I already had to make this three times #Which means I Think that I've gotten all formatting errors from attempt two but if I didn't? Just ignore those if you'd be so kind <3 #I could go back and fix them but hahahaha absolutely not you actually couldn't pay me #Lol tho ♪ Just happy to have another one done :)

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tmntkiseki · 3 months

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Was once again fooling around with clips from Adventures in Turtlesitting and Good Genes Part 1 (basically, I was seeking all the major "Leo being protective of his double mutated brother" moments) and just

After the turtles show up at April's apartment, Raph attacks Don, who ends up attacking him in retaliation; Leo kicks Don, causing him to drop Raph. At that point, Donatello turns around to his brothers and spends a good couple of seconds just...standing around and growling at them before he notices the hole in the wall and runs away.

Then later when the turtles are searching for Don, April calls Leo and alerts him that not only did the motion tracker on the Battle Shell pick up something large enough to be Don, but that he appears to be making his way back to the new lair in Central Park.

Also, this line from Raphael took me out.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2003 spoilers #tmnt donatello #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #video #There is an entire essay to be written about the behavior of the Outbreak mutants #And how Don most likely still maintained some sense of self despite his secondary mutation #But because his cells were literally breaking down he was in a lot of pain that only got worse over time #And because of how much pain he was in he was incredibly scared and confused #And reacted to any perceived threats with violence and aggression #Even if those 'threats' were his own family members #Also yes there are multiple animation errors in that clip #Leonardo is missing the blue part of one of his kneepads #And Raphael's mask is the same color as Mikey's for some reason

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ravenwolfie97 · 5 days

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all pokemon games are good but they are not all equally as good

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#pokemon #as a person who has played pretty much every main pkmn game in some capacity #i can find things in them that are worth praise #but like obviously they can't all be the same level of good. there are so many factors to a pkmn game to be balanced #some have a great region. some have a great story. some have just a solid gameplay experience. all of them have great music lol #i could even play devil's advocate and praise bdsp for being a truly faithful remake and pretty incredible for a studio first Real game #but mainly i keep thinking like. everyone has shat on the new pkmn games ever since gen 5 especially #but then over time people are like Huh they aren't so bad after all #like once you get out of the gamehate wormhole generated by inflammatory social media posting you can appreciate a thing more #and there may still be people out there who think red/blue are the best ones. and y'know they have a point #even though objectively those games were littered with bugs to the point where some normal mechanics were not correct #and things just got more complicated and sophisticated with abilities and new types and better moves and stuff #the original games are absolute Miracles to have been made at all and for what they're worth they were Revolutionary #it was a simpler time but the ideas put forth were still pretty complex. especially considering this was the First One #this is the foundation all pokemon games thereafter rose from. and it's a pretty solid foundation despite all the hardships #anyway. i love pokemon. and i love that even after all this time - over 25 years - its spirit from back in 96 still remains in some form #it may not be about catching em all anymore. because physically that's really hard to do with over 1000 guys now #but it's still about finding joy in following a dream of adventure with a bunch of cool animal friends #and sometimes you save the world a little bit. that's p cool

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emoyuuta · 1 year

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I hope that you guys remember that fan translations are the literal backbone of entire fandoms. like we couldn't even enjoy some media if someone hadn't unofficially translated it. we do not pay enough credit to its role.

#think about that cringe anime fan sub from the early 2000s. like yes they were cringe but they did work. they gave you access to that media #also those subs of shows that in pre-streaming platforms era that came out the next day. they were ALL fan translated #imagine the HARD WORK AND PASSION behind them. it's incredible

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darthkvznblogs · 3 months

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I have finished binging OG Sailor Moon

#sailor moon #that was kinda fuckin’ nuts #still kinda picking my jaw off the floor here #those last two eps were *not* what I was expecting #mad respect for old anime’s incredible ability to turn on a dime #silly little guy antics into everyone fucking dies like *snap*

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astro-b-o-y-d · 3 months

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Do you ever just think back to your friend group from high school and go 'Okay so at least SOME of you probably came out as trans at some point?? Like I can't have been the only one??'

#Hayley Speaks #Not that I'm going to speculate because those were real-ass people I was friends with #But also I hung out with SO many of the goth/scene/emo and weeb crowd #Several of whom introduced me to Ouran High School Host Club and also went by nicknames of male anime characters #I will not confirm or deny if I was one of them. (I was and it was Kyo.)#(/Incredibly/ cringe in hindsight but LIKE WOW. Hit that nail on the head didn't I?)#I'M JUST SAYING...IT CAN'T HAVE JUST BEEN ME

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astranauticus · 7 months

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i have an exam tomorrow but i know my brain won't know rest until i post this. anyway i just looked up the lyrics to 超度我/set me free by floruitshow and i just. have to inflict this song onto other people it is so robits

(real quick one thing i will say is please listen to the song, i once described floruitshow as 'the perfect combination of classically trained and a little bit insane' and this song is 100% that vibe. like i cant promise you'll like it but i can promise that it probably won't sound like anything else you've heard before)

Also I'll only be translating the verses because the chorus is literally lines straight from the Diamond Sutra and explaining those is above my paygrade

(Verse 1)

来不及 There's no time left 最后一句想你来不及让你知道 No time left to say to you my last 'I miss you' 再也回不去 We can't ever return 那个有彩虹出现的下午 to that afternoon when the rainbow appeared 再也感受不到你温度 I won't ever feel your warmth again 如果你留我在梦里 If you left me in my dreams 我会放弃呼吸 I can give up my breath 请超度我 Please, set me free

VR-LA during/after MR-SN's death?? reflecting on all the things he never got to say, all the things they never got to do because they never got enough time together, 'i can give up my breath' all that time VR-LA spent alone on that empty ship fighting the thoughts of leaving it all behind.. (yells)

(Verse 2)

对不起 I'm sorry 不经意就在你的影子里活下去 It's so easy to live on in your shadow 我不在意 But I don't mind 不过是白日梦里一瞬息 It's nothing but a moment in a daydream 为何还起念动心 Why does my heart still stir? 怪你名字太熟悉 It's all because your name is too familiar 当我是一花一叶一春木 if I pretend I were a flower, a leaf, a spring sapling 可否回到世界之初 Can I return to the beginning of it all? 请超度我 Please, set me free

Y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. or how he spends s2-s3 haunted by his old crew ('live on in your shadow' owwww). 'a moment in a daydream' VR-LA seeing MR-SN in overclock... being stuck in the horrible horrible headspace of the Zuggtemoy curse and finding comfort in this snippet of the captain he can barely remember.. 'your name is too familiar' i mean just look at the wish speech! he says it better than i ever could, it's getting the old crew's names from maxim that really sets VR-LA off on this whole journey to find them because even after the everything just their names is enough for him to remember how much he loved and still loves them!! augh

(Outro)

我的执念万千千千 My obsessions, hundreds and thousands 放不下地放不下天 I can't let go of the earth, I can't let go of the sky 我把红线折折剪剪 I cut and fold at the red strings 落入凡间镜重圆 I fall to the mortal realm to seek reunion

Again, y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. but also the last two lines as being MR-SN's POV, the 'red strings' being a reference to the red strings of fate (strings that tie lovers/soulmates together... aaa), MR-SN (or well, Mystra, I guess) literally defying fate so that they can meet again. 镜重圆 here is likely referring to 破镜重圆, a phrase that directly translates to "mending a broken mirror" and basically refers to couples (generally romantic) reconciling/reuniting after a breakup/some kind of separation which... i mean yeah thats literally just 3.7 huh. MR-SN coming back from the dead to give VR-LA closure and catharsis. anyway i'm gonna go lie on the floor now

#rolling with difficulty #rwd starship #vr la rwd #im so. jahsfksjhdfkjh #my ears are kinda bad (read: auditory processing issues) so like.. for a lot of cpop songs with more poetic? fancy? lyrics #i tend to like just add them to my playlist even if i dont actually know what the lyrics are #esp since i listen to a lot of gufeng/'historical style' cpop because i like that genre's sound but the lyrics are EXTRA incomprehensible #so basically i had this song in my playlist for like.. about a year but i was never 100% on what the lyrics are #so yeah i looked up the lyrics today and uh. felt like i got hit by a train #funnily enough i now have a floruitshow song for all my robit favs! WHY DO THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD ROBIT MUSIC #set me free = VR-LA; him = MR-SN; how can i make you stay = maxim #considering im already making an animatic for him (and made a little animation snippet for how can i make you stay) its honestly like..#kinda.. tempting to just round out the trinity. like if i can make one animatic how hard can 2 more be? (famous last words)#also because like with the september patreon reward im even more convinced that how can i make you stay is just the maxim song of all time #its just that the diamod sutra chorus on this one kinda. complicates matters #and also because i saw an INCREDIBLE genshin animatic of this song on bilibili once and it HAUNTS me #i dont play genshin anymore i dont even like xiao it's just one of those things were like #the artistic merit on display is so impressive i have to respect the project on skill level alone #its *so good* like i cant fuckin. not even surpass i cant get anywhere *near* that. what the fuck??#intellectually i know thats not how art works but. hnnnGGG #its that animatic and noir (the other one)'s stultifer cantus mv thats like #on a tier list of all the animatics ive seen in my life theyre on the 'lose your fuckin mind beautiful' tier #Spotify

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scattered-winter · 1 year

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was talking to the gc about six of crows and shadow and bone and was suddenly hit by a wave of nostalgia for the weeks before the shadow and bone tv show came out......truly a wonderful time...

#i remember when the cast announcements first came out and we all collectively descended upon them like a pack of rabid animals #i remember the DISCOURSE. people saying ''nooo it should've been [different actor] as kaz''#i remember the EUPHORIA. ben barnes was fancast as the darkling and then ENDED UP AS THE DARKLING.#IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING #and we all had such high hopes #i remember when they released the first little snippets of soundtrack score!!!!!!!!! i was soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!#the bts photos of keftas....the theories.....the speculation......#it really was a special time. i miss it #for the most part i loooove the show and this isnt a slight toward it but.#it was just a very incredible time. before new show-only fans joined the fandom. when we were all so hyped to see it on the big screen.#it was a very specific kind of nostalgic feel that we only had for those few months of production and bts and filming #right up until the season dropped and everything in the fandom and in canon changed forever #not necessarily Bad changes. just different.#idk i miss that. it was a really exciting time to be a grishaverse girlie #winter speaks #shadow and bone #six of crows

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fagmegumi · 1 year

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everytime a new csm ep comes out im like WOW that was the most impressive ED so far and then another ep comes out and im like wait no THIS was the most impressive ED so far and then what do you know next week comes along and

#like. i am SO glad mappa decided to throw so much money at it that they were like yeah lets make a different ed each episode. and lets make #each of those be as incredible from a music animation variety of artstyles originality etc etc standpoint that they beat most anime's #OPENING credits.#SUCH a based move. also i hope it obliterated their a*t budget #personal #csm

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the-puffinry · 2 years

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my bird is so much more responsive to what people in her environment are like (in mood/activity) than is immediately apparent. She’s mostly really kind of unobtrusive, no screaming or anything everyone notices when she’s stressed.

anyway constantly bickering people just left and she immediately came to sit on me and finally truly relaxed. Boneless abandon. Just completely liquid.

#incredible. this animal laid in my hand for about 30 minutes while i scritched her and she wasn't even using her feet those were just.#hanging over the side of my hand.#her neck muscles: not in use either #just zonked completeley 100% OUT

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interclouds · 2 years

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I feel like I can’t trust anyone’s opinions on what good anime is anymore

#maybe i never could who knows #maybe i dont even know what is good #i recently thought back to how much i liked flcl and how much i think it influenced me #or at least theoretically influenced me im working on it #but i did a rewatch and while the good parts i remembered were still good #there were issues for sure #i kept wanting to recommend it to my boyfriend but as i rewatched i kept feeling insecure like he wouldnt enjoy it #maybe thats kind of a bad example bc while flcl is as close to timeless as anime gets it does stills how its age a bit in small ways #the only anime ive watched recently that actually stood up to some scrutiny was mp100 #but i gotta be honest i only like maybe half of mp100 and probably less #whats good about it is great but so much of it i just have no stomach for #maybe thats me being picky but idk i feel like a lot of people wouldnt enjoy those same aspects #we did a watch of brba recently and like no show is perfect 100% but brba was pretty incredible start to finish #and i think most people would pretty much agree regardless of tastes #should i be comparing some anime about a silly little guy to one of the most critically acclaimed tv shows ever? probably not #but idk i want to like anime so much bc theres so much about it that what i want #but i just keep running into not just disappointment but like actual shock at how it fails to meet expectations other people set up for me #anyway rant over i guess #probably gonna delete this? who cares what i think about anime lol #this is probably the vyvanse talking and my boyfriend isnt awake for me to bother him

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beeapocalypse · 2 years

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those posts that are like “i love you [thing] i love you [thing] etc etc” and follow a connecting theme w the items are a little cheesy soemtimes but that is the best way to express mine emotuon right now. i love you collector i love you shambler i love you thing from the stars i love you fanatic i love you crocodilian

^ look at these animals. absolutely incredible design

#body horror tw #i NEED to sprint into the first final dungeon expedition this instant i need to see the shuffling horror. it has been years since i fought--#--it and i want 2 see if there is anything said abt it being a shambler which has the Meat of the ancestral home growing upon--#--it like an infection. like a rogue animal of the void which has been captured and twisted up by the hearts worshippers #i just love love the wandering bosses so much like they are all such a perfect marriage of character design and gameplay. mwah mwah <3 #second image of a shambler tentacle. it spawns two of those upon encountering it and throughout the fight and they have a single--#--move called 'clapperclaw' (will admit that i usually just call them clapperclaws rather than shambler tentacles lol) that gives it huge--#--buffs which stack up w each successful hit so they turn into a very godawful problem if u do not deal w them right away. the real menaces-#--of the shambler fight #OHH i mentioned the shuffling horror now i need to talk abt ingame nesdin again. brought him along to my first real attempt at the first--#--final dunegon expedition years ago and ended up having 2 retreat during the boss fight bc my arbalest got killed real early into it and--#--my vestal died of a heart attack (due to a crit? i think) so the only guys i had left were nesdin (was virtuous i think?) and--#--mortemer the leper and it was mortemer who died on the expedition retreat. it was very dramatic and also the moment that solidified--#--nesdin as a real Character in my head. hed been a very solid guy to take on expeditions beforehand but i started spinning him around--#--in my head after that lol #^ i remember very clearly going oh FUCK and retreating the instant nesdin hit deaths door after the vestals death. maybe mortemer was--#--virtuous as well ? i remember having this incredibly impossible belief that they could tough it out together bc nesdin had the virtue--#--that had him occasionally heal himself and mortemer had his own self heal but i think the first deaths door check on him had me--#--freak out and retreat. sat at my desk w my eyes closed for like a minute b4 abandoning the expedition all together begging 4--#--nesdin to be the one to survive lol

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electrobiology · 18 days

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(same anon) okay wait first of all disclaimer the jokes about dazai + suicide do definitely exist and are a very loud + unavoidable part of bsd! it's often played for laughs, it's just that underlying it is: a huge part of bsd is the theme of suicide + the worth of living, and it shows up time and time again with even minor characters, and it's simultaneously... not a joke. and to me the comedy doesn't cancel out that it has been clearly and deliberately factored into dazai as a character to be so performative about this. (i do also think that like. the jokes feel more like they are coming from the inside of someone whose struggle with suicidal ideation is a large part of their worldview than they feel... mean-spirited? which makes a difference to me)

obligatory note the fandom as a whole is like. it's fair to engage w the fandom more than canon (have definitely done that with different pieces of media!) but looking at you so seriously and going i'm so sorry the fandom is so so evil in comparison to canon. which is not to say anything except that if you ever end up picking up more of bsd i would recommend going in with minimal preconceived notions— i have a lot of issues with popular fanon, though i would not be as bothered by it (-> it is like. pretty standard cookie-cutter fanon dedicated to a juggernaut m/m ship) if i were not so fond of bsd in its original form as i am. i can definitely elaborate on that i just think i would end up typing much more of an essay in ur askbox.

anyway: once again super valid to take issue with the original premise of the manga but would be interested to see what you think overall if you pick up bsd again!

i see about the dazai stuff... it never seemed mean-spirited to me, the issue i have with it personally is more so the very real repercussions dazai's suicide irl had on so many people as i mentioned before & how kind of callous it always seemed to me? but if as you said it ties more into themes from the series on life/death/etc + like actual commentary other than purely some weird kind of comedy relief (what i thought it was) there's more room for discussion i think. although i'll always find it a little distasteful i think similar to my feelings about the entire premise of the manga lol,

i hear too about the fandom............ i mostly engage with fandom in general through fic rather than actual like fandom spaces & that was largely the case with bsd too (i read fic for it before i did anything else which is something i've done for quite a few other things too) & no one wants to know the pain i have inflicted upon my dear friend blowing up her messages complaining about The Issues so many of them have (even as i read them anyway...), and if i'm picking up what you're putting down then in particular those about the ship you mention... i haven't delved that deep into fandom discussion on tumblr, mostly just looked at art, but what i've picked up has been, well, ,,,

in any case knowing for sure there is more to it than the horrors of the fandom is reassuring....

#i didn't want to put this in the main text because who knows what could happen but when i went through fic there was like #an honestly incredible amount of embedded sexism in the way so many people wrote Those Guys #plus so many more issues. i can't go into the rage i was once capable of because i haven't read anything but my bookmarks in a long while #one of the worst fandoms i think i've ever seen wrt reading comprehension/actual engagement with the original media #and i have read quite a lot from some awful fandoms #i always thought personally with bsd that it would be easier for me to deal with i guess if they just used like fictional characters from #the authors writing or something like that. oba yozo from nlh or nick from gatsby or whatever #the logistics of that with copyright and stuff would probably be hell though #although i am pretty sure there are like gacha games that do that i swear to god i've seen anime boy (or girl?) raskolnikov somewhere #i read orv a couple years ago and there was some pretty crazy stuff in there too like having sun wukong and the christian angels or #whatever just There but because they were fictional i was able to just be kind of like well whatever it's happening and that's that #or as fictional as you see myth/religion #but anyway beyond logistics maybe it would change his message or something. i don't really know without having read it #also i would like to apologise again for my horrible opinions #honestly embarrassed anyone saw that post in the first place i say lots of unimportant thoughtless things

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