#that metaphor potentially ran away with me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

naffeclipse · 5 months

Note

*Arrives at Internet Explorer Speed*

Hey guys! Those new chapter of Lack of Light, am I right??!

FDKHKFGH Sorry I needed to make a silly entrance back in your inbox Naff XD

But aaaaaa I finally came back to read these and I'm here with a brand new comment!! For the two chapters I was missing no less! :D

So let's get to it!

Ok so first off I don't know if I'm just looking too much into it but I read this line: "You rely on your eyes to adjust to the darkness" from th first paragraph and it just felt significant to the rest of the chapter, you know? Very literal but metaphorical at the same time!

And oooh something I definitely have to praise in this is the amazing description of the anguish through all the physical sensations that the reader is going through. I think I've mentioned before that when I read reader inserts I don't truly put my real self in the story but rather try to imagine it through the main characters eyes, but wow did I feel this one. The way you detail all those physical effects that anxiety has on the body, beautifully described through images and comparisons, just made it seem so very real. I basically could almost feel them myself, just remembering times when I had definitely experienced something similar, even if the causes were different! I will always applaud your descriptions, Naff! Makes me want to take notes!

And AAAAAAA I gotta say that I absolutely love how just, hrrrr, I'm struggling to find the words to describe it, but I would say how there's a clear parallel between what both Reader and Eclipse are going through?

Because ok, first of all, is the matter of hiding right? Reader seems to be trying to hide (kind of like Eclipse does his true self), but through a mask instead of blindness. Even through previous encounters they have tried to present themselves a very specific way. The unshakable one. Unaffected by everything, at least in a way that goes beyond mild funny venting. And it feels like something they force themselves to do in their daily life, beyond the forest. It's just they're so used to doing it, that it became a part of how they perceive themselves and failing to do so feels to them like they're showing a part of themselves that is intolerable. And aaaaa then Eclipse also because clearly he must have enough experience having met other humans to know that even those that dared stay after learning of his presence ran away after seeing him. So both hide and hide while they wish for more and hate themselves for it, and might even think they don't deserve it.

(Sidenote: I love this description: "The mysterious being who exists in pure darkness, cast by the sun and the moon." Obviously because it references his name (be it a solar or lunar eclipse), but also because it reminds of his strange nature. Because an Eclipse is an event! A phenomenon that is not exactly a natural object, but something that can only be seen under the right conditions!)

And oooh speaking about Eclipse and hiding, I just love the contrast between Eclipse's darkness coming from being unseen vs the darkness born from emptiness. Because Reader so far hasn't been daring at all in pushing to see him, because they fear the latter. Eclipse's nature is intimidating, and it's often said that we fear not the darkness itself, but what we might find in it. But here it's the contrary! Both Reader and Eclipse fear that potential emptiness. They have found company in each other thanks to the darkness, but should something go wrong (pushing too much or scaring the other one away), they would find themselves staring into the void and nothing else.)

And that exactly leads into the doubts about what the other thinks once they've revealed themselves! And it's so interesting how they fear so intensely that the "flaw" they see in themselves, which are kinda opposite, is what will make the other regret meeting them. Like for Reader is that vulnerability, that inability to be perfect about everything that hits them in their daily life and dealing easily with it. They fear their "weakness" will disgust a great being as Eclipse. And for Eclipse is fearing that his form, great, strange, intimidating, monstrous, is what will leave him without his dear one. His very nature enough to drive them away. When in reality, it's likely those very things that made them initially appealing to the other! The Reader a precious little creature, that despite not having horns or sharp teeth lives their daily life bravely (enough to befriend a shadowy being). And Eclipse, a fascinating and fearsome creature, that despite it all demonstrates he's gentle and kind and capable of becoming that friend that provides the most comfort in Reader's life!

Ooooh I just adore how two very different beings, with way more differences than similarities, still have this experience in common. That fear and uncertainty about letting themselves be known, because past experience has thought them it's unwise, and yet they find relief from that terrible all-consuming anxiety when they let themselves trust that this time it will be different and that it is worth it, even if it is raw, to open up and let the right person in.

Now for Mothman Moon!

Just starting and the Reader is already turning the headlights on and off repeatedly jfhdsgkh Prime conditions for Mothman sightings! XD

Oooh I love how you build up the paranoia! Different situations, but it makes me think when it's late at night and for whatever reason you need to go out in a hallway of your home and you gotta reassure yourself that no, there's nothing lurking in the shadows of your home, be an adult and walk calmly jghdkfsj The feeling of being exposed and on edge is so very well achieved! But also all the little hints, like the raven falling quiet. And that instinctual feeling of being watched! Related to all this, I adore this line: "Your optimism slips in the slightest before you yank it back up by the throat and continue marching along." I felt that in my soul fkijhdfgkñjh

Aaaa I love how everything falls quiet at the flapping of wings! Everything knows to be quiet and freeze. And I love Reader is part of that everything. Like they are connected to the forest around them by virtue of not wanting to draw attention to themselves, something they share with all the creatures around.

And oooooo such a spooky sight when we finally get a glimpse of him!! Kinda gave me the urge to hold my breath as well as I read! Just the sight of the glowing red eyes coming from a shadow within the fog would paralyze anyone for sure! And then gjhfdkg poor Reader just shifts horror flavor from Creature-in-the-forest-that-could-kill-me to Stranger-Danger. Pick your poison and all that XD But man that instinct does seriously kick in when a stranger gives us bad vibes huh?

(As a sidenote, I love how you've given the different readers between chapters different responses to fear! Like the first chapter with Sun had Fight if I remember correctly, then the second chapter had Fawn, which I think it's trying to please to prevent from being harmed, even if the fear wasn't so much of Eclipse but of abandonment, and in this one we have Freeze! Which we see twice when Moon first appears and then when the car races towards them!)

Oh. My gosh??? The fact that Moon is just able to take on a car that's going full speed though?? Damn! And oooh he was not happy. He does not appreciate assholes/downright murderers in this area. (Btw I can't help but think that he did in fact break that second light slower on purpose to seem more menacing fjkhdaskjh)

Aaaa it's fascinating how he seems so perplexed by the Reader's response to everything that just happened! Like he doesn't quite understand the freeze response. It's something animals do as well, but I'm guessing if it doesn't work then most would ultimately run from the danger. It's probably the first instance of this he has encountered! And poor reader seems to just be very badly affected by it, physically as well as mentally judging by the lightheadedness.

(sidenote: "He looms, his wings flaring out beside him in magnificent flares of warnings and death." Me, helpless DCA simp, vivid image of the majestic view in my head: Um yes, hi, hello? 👉👈 GFÑLKDJHGÑLJ)

And aaaaa I loved the flight scene! I myself am pretty scared of heights so I likely would have screamed gkjhfdksj but! I love that we continue the theme of braving a bit of the fear to discover something wonderful! Despite my fear of heights I've always imagined how wonderful it would be to have wings and this scene just striked me as something terrifying yet beautiful because it really is an experience that Reader wouldn't get anywhere else! And despite the polarizing feelings of fear and safety just warring inside of them, the wonder was just so tangible as Moon carried them through the air!

And ooo I find it so interesting how he refers to multiple things as the "lights", which from his perspective must be the most notable characteristic of the stuff that emanates it! It's clear he's familiar with cars, and likely has witnessed what happens when one hits a living thing. And the light of the gas station tells him that it's a place humans go to. So he knows it's not just lights, but he still seems to perceive it as their most important characteristic. Aaaa I'm so curious about what the world looks like to him because of this!

And ough it's so sweet he keeps watch over them as they go trying to get the help they need. It seems to me he finds them really intriguing and the fact that he gave them his name could mean he hopes it will not be their last meeting!

And that's that!

Aaaaaa everytime I come back to your writing I keep being taken by surprise by how well you manage to make the reader immerse themselves in the story! Your descriptions are so vivid and your use of the language so *chef kiss*! Everytime I'm just dying to know what's the word that follows the previous one, what will happen, and when that tasty tension you build so well will reach it's snapping point! This little series was a delight to read and a very nice journey into what fear and darkness means to different people. And of course, meeting some very strange and fascinating creatures that make the unknown not as bad as it seemed <3

Thanks for this delicious chapters Naff! It's always a delight reading what you make!

(Sorry if something is phrased weirdly btw, it’s kinda late as I’m writing this fgkjhdsk)

AHHH CHAOTIK! HI, HELLO! WELCOME BACK!!! I'm so glad to see you in my inbox again!!

Oh, I am rattling you so hard right now! I live for your analysis and I especially love that you caught how much Eclipse and Y/N complement and contrast each other—the same fears but different reasons. They are dear ones, your honor!!!

And Moon! My Mothman!Moon! He's so much fun to write! I'm really glad you enjoy his spooky entrance and his descriptions!

Also, with the readers, that's so funny that it changes from Fight, Fawn, and Freeze! I meant for Mothman's Y/N to freeze but I also think it's neat to explore different responses to fear, so I'm happy that stood out!

(He did break the second car light slowly—he's so dramatic lol)

He does have a different view of the world due to lights—humans have lights. Humans drive with them, live with them, and are afraid without them. Lights are just as foreign as those humans! But he does have a particular interest in Y/N—they were almost hit by the lights themselves. It's now every time he sees that, but he was curious from how they froze to how they were terrified yet in awe of flying. He even finds them cute but doesn't expect to see them again! But Y/N has plans of venturing back to the words with the mothman hehe

Gah, thank you so much, Chaotik! I love how in-depth you go and reading your thoughts makes my day, babe! <3

#chaotikanvas #lack of light #compliments

35 notes · View notes

norcumii · 1 year

Text

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR D20′S NEVERAFTER

(This was started the weekend after the finale, then my spoons ran away for awhile. -_-; Hopefully this is coherent anyways, even if late.)

I have been...struggling with this season of Dimension 20. As we’ve gone from episode to episode, I keep coming back to the issue of foundational rules – not in the sense of mechanics of world-building, but the thematic underpinnings and models. You’re telling a story about stories. We have these elements of horror and free-will; themes of consumption and corruption; cycles and multi-verses.

And I haven’t been able to tie it all together. My metaphorical wall-chart of photos and string has been an unending tangled mess (and my brain staunchly refuses to stop fixating on Aesop’s Mouse and Lion, aka the mascots of Disney and MGM so obviously that’s been a heel-turn of Capitalism waiting to happen >_>). After the finale I just sat there blinking for a bit, feeling like that certainly was a thing that had happened, but what did it all MEAN?????

There wasn’t anything that felt wrong with what happened, but there wasn’t any narrative logic I could grasp, no themes to tie things together other than “things are better now and what people chose for themselves” which is...nice, but vague enough to be unfulfilling. I couldn’t find anything to the Adventuring Party episode to help, so in growing frustrating I went browsing through the related tags on the tumbls.

This deceptively simple post broke me because it explained matters so well. It’s trauma. The whole season, all the horror and meta themes are about trauma. Suddenly all the oddly shaped puzzle pieces I couldn’t stop pawing at fit.

This is why the dark times began in the first place. People worried so much about trauma that they managed to traumatize themselves. Look how Sleeping Beauty’s vines literally smothered her in an attempt to protect her. All these population centers withdrew from each other, borders closed between the various kingdoms, and thus people pulled away from the potential for community support – everyone was left to struggle and fall on their own.

It wasn’t what I originally thought, some nebulous fear of fear itself inevitably leading to the darkside nonsense, but instead how we isolate ourselves into our little echo chambers – each person caught up in their story and their story alone. How we become mired in those events/trauma until one’s entire life is framed around That Horrible Thing What Happened At One Point In My Life.

Which in turn addresses the Authors – as a storyteller myself, I was mighty uncomfy with the presentation of the Authors as a unified bloc of uncaring eldritch horrors from beyond that only wanted the suffering of their playthings. I couldn’t figure if I was picking up on the wrong vibe, or if this was one of those learning moments where “if you’re uncomfy that might be ‘cause it hits too close to home and you need to sit with that for a bit to chew it over” or whatever. With the trauma context, it makes sense. On the one hand, the Authors are the external force: just like the characters, they’ve been corrupted by the fear of the Dark Times, and thus spreading that to their creations, which spread it back to them, etc. On the other they are very much an internal force: when we are traumatized, we tell ourselves stories to contextualize what happened. That can be done in a healthy way – this is one of the reasons we tell stories to begin with – or one can become mired in that narrative, telling and retelling it while fixating on the worst parts (that fear of the Dark Times thing again) until all that one sees is the worst iteration.

Which is why there was the multiverse aspect, and why each one could/did get worse. For that matter, it addresses the evolution of Pib’s minis, which baffled me when they were revealed. He begins as the dapper rogue, then becomes the hardened stray, then the scared little cat. Trauma wears at people, and oftentimes the immediate reaction is to withdraw, to be emotionally distant and appear tough – Rather like Zac’s choices on how Pib changed between incarnations. From there its so easy to get ground down further, into something so tired and hurting that it’s difficult to expect anything other than to be hurt further. Or look at Rosamund, increasingly isolated by her briars, which are choking her as they “lovingly” work to protect her from the big bad scary world – until she is puppeted by them.

Honestly, a lot of character choices make a lot more sense. Ylfa’s separation, how she believed that “the girl kept holding the wolf back.” The Stepmother’s everything, exemplifying that old saying about how “hurt people hurt people,” and a classic example of how easy it is to repeat generational trauma, especially when you don’t have a model for other ways to approach matters. The princesses’ utter nihilism, the exhausted desperation to just have the suffering stop. The fairies as the well-meaning but misguided faction endorsing placating the/a source of trauma to keep things from getting worse is all too familiar of those caught up in traumatic cycles but want to exercise some, any kind of autonomy. Meanwhile look at how Rapunzel grew able to lash out at literally everyone, and how she was utterly honest without ever needing to be truthful. How so many people just needed to rest in Mother Goose’s book, to get some reprieve from the relentless cycle of trauma (and how it helped them, and in return helped the party).

This explains the horrible Worst Case ending that was mentioned in the Adventuring Party: the Stepford Wives society of terrifying seeming-perfection crystallizing everyone into a semblance of how Everything Is Fine, Nothing Is Wrong, and no lessons are learned, no changes can be made, and the core is often rotting away unseen. All too often, society pressures us to pretend trauma didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t so bad. (How many times have you heard that PTSD is only for military folks, or those who survived massive natural disasters or whathaveyou?) The lesson we internalize is to pretend that all is peachy-keen, no problems whatsoever, and when that happens the trauma is never addressed. One can’t heal if all your energies are devoted to keeping up the facade of an idyllic existence. To be stuck in that cycle is indeed pretty apt for the worst end of a horror season.

Of course, this leads to the big question: what makes the players different? HOW did they manage to break the cycle? By literally crafting a new narrative – by allowing EVERYONE to make their own, new narrative, to shed the weight and burden of generational trauma. Some of them, like Pinocchio, had already internalized their own story – in his case, that meant taking up the terrifying responsibility of autonomy, taking up his own strings and destiny. Pinocchio learned and understood his story, stepping forward to not be ruled by his past experiences – like Gerard, choosing to leave his humanity and stop chasing the old goals that everyone said he should desire. Even though they both grieved the loss of that goal, and all the ramifications of leaving those hopes behind – even as it meant accepting the scars and changes it wrought upon them – it helped them and others in their stories break out of the cycle of trauma.

Stories are doorways to other places – sometimes a temporary haven in someplace better, where no matter how bad things get, there is a ‘happily’ at the end of it. Sometimes they’re models of how things could be horrible, and we can learn how others deal with grief/tragedy/horror – so we in turn can acquire those skills and life lessons. Vicarious experiences can help mitigate/understand trauma, and somehow, without me even noticing it, this season leaned wholeheartedly into it.

I think I need to rewatch it all through that lens, and tbh? I’m looking forward to it.

#dimension 20 #d20 #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #spoilers #meta #analysis #thinky thoughts #stories #story telling #trauma

97 notes · View notes

solunstell · 4 months

Text

Notes I've taken from the Beast light novel:

Right off the bat, Akutagawa's autism is showing lmao. He just like me fr

Akutagawa was already known as the "Silent Mad Dog" or "Heartless Dog" pre-mafia

Describing akutagawa's ability in combat: "as if he were mowing grass with a scythe." Atsushi was right, he is a lawn mower.

Akutagawa bit through an enemy's neck. Insert vampire comparison

I'd love to see an analysis of the parallels between chuuya and akutagawa. Both were in a group in the slums that relied on their ability, both were taken into the mafia by dazai, both have abilities that have an incredible destructive potential but can also make then near-invincible...

"Akutagawa glared at his foe - one of the men responsible for his friends' deaths - then smiled with evident satisfaction...and collapsed face forward." Insert comparison to his death

I think there can also be a comparison In this whole fight to avenge his dead friends to Oda's death. Both were orchestrated, both knew that they were probably going to die, and both were at peace after defeating the enemy.

DAZAI HAS BLACK HAIR?!?!

Okay adjusting mental image I always saw it as dark brown (yes the anime is brown canonical but in my heart I hold priority to the manga and novels. Same reason I draw the hat chain on chuuya and red eyes on dazai)

Dazai points out how akutagawa's foolish death would leave behind his little sister. This also reminds me of oda leaving dazai and ango behind.

Akutagawa is really out here saying stuff like ergo lmao

Akutagawa's skill evolved into the beast-like form when Dazai mentions his sister coming to harm

Dazai quote as he decides not to take in akutagawa: "I think I'll go with that other guy for my right-hand man." Does this mean that main timeline dazai saw akutagawa as his right hand man?

Things akutagawa is called or compared to in this novel: Silent Mad Dog, Heartless Dog, Cerberus, a slide (by the orphan kids), Former Disciplinarian and Current Ambassador of Paper Shredding

Naomi calls Junichiro "Jun"

Kunikida and Junichiro communicating through looks

Canon bitch face

Oda is described as unpredictable and he is late. Ty asagiri for more blorbo characterization crumbs

Akutagawa: king of purple prose

Atsushi is afraid to die

Even in the Mafia, atsushi is described as innocent looking, not sadistic, and respectful

Kyouka is extremely pale, and has a childish voice

Chuuya still wants to kill dazai, and won't let anyone else do it

Dazai is still cracking jokes!

The Port Mafia is more successful under dazai, and there are so many assassination attempts against dazai that he never even uses the windows in his office.

Akutagawa grew potatoes behind his home in the slums

I love that akutagawa's first choice when embarrassed is always denial. "No. No. No."

Akutagawa is a light sleeper and a morning person

"Oda, who was always late because some lady in the neighborhood stopped him for a chat..."

"...destruction was (Akutagawa's) go-to answer for everything."

Akutagawa. Ate. Paper (probably in the slums but it doesn't say so explicitly)

"Akutagawa is supposed to be filing paperwork right now, but he's nowhere to be found! He must have used his skill to remove the restraints around his wrists and ankles, then ran away..." kunikida, did you tie him up?!?!

Oda just kept collecting kids in beast! I love that

"It's your job to look after the kids, as the oldest one there." Oda also collected akutagawa

"It was Parent's day at one of the orphan's schools, so Akutagawa participated on behalf of the child's guardian." So normally, oda would go?

Another parent said he looks like a hitman. Boy do I have news about the kids actual guardian!

Akutagawa raised Sakura's hand cuz she's shy and was proud when she got the question right

Akutagawa hates guns

Akutagawa has been using lots of farming metaphors

Atsushi puts three sugars in his coffee, and akutagawa put four in his tea

Akutagawa saved up 300 chocolate bars, ate them for days on end, and collapsed of malnutrition

I really like the emphasis in this novel that they're really just kids who grew up too fast

"...but a vermillion line appeared on his throat..." ch88 flashbacks

Gin spends every waking moment with dazai. I want to know abt their relationship more. Does dazai treat her like he does the agency in the main universe? Or like chuuya, perhaps? How does gin see him? I wanna know more abt them in beast and the main timeline.

About akutagawa: "'I can't believe such a powerful skill user has gone undetected by our network for so long.'" That definitely has to be due to inside interference. Was it Dazai? Gin?

Apparently, Demon Snow wears a mask, and that isn't actually her face

Dazai is now using his windows.

Oda in this universe joined the agency in the place of dazai, solving solving azure messenger/apostle case. However, he doesn't see himself as a detective. Tanizaki told akutagawa a few pages ago that you become a detective the moment you believe it.

Oda gambles

Apparently the headmaster abused all of the kids, not just atsushi. He didn't even let them have clocks.

The scene between atsushi and the headmaster here is so phenomenal. The way asagiri portrays trauma is *chefs kiss*. A normal interaction from the outside, but with context and with atsushi as the narrator, it's completely different. It's very similiar to the headmaster death in the main timeline

Atsushi looks up to the headmaster in a similiar way akutagawa looks up to dazai. And in beast, he has both of them as negative influences in his head

"There was a researcher who came to the orphanage to secretly investigate the tiger, but it killed him. He had long hair the color of white mist and eyes as red as apples. Had his death gone public, the military police would've intervened and killed the dangerous tiger - me. / But the director covered up the accident. He threw the researcher's body into a river and burned his belongings. He then got the teachers together so they could coordinate their story: "No researcher ever came here." Then, after checking if I had any memory of what happened when I was a tiger, the director locked me in a basement cell. He continued handling the aftermath every time the tiger went berserk going forward. He locked me in the basement in seclusion so there wouldn't be any victims - so I wouldn't hurt anyone." Dead apple makes much more sense now.

The jazz playing in Lupin is a about "a heartbreaking farewell."

Oda sits one seat away from where dazai gestures.

Dazai excitedly informs Oda that he finally defused a bomb and had been waiting to tell oda. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai says he's jealous of oda cuz oda gets to do cool stuff at work. On that day, oda had defused a bomb, which he mentioned to dazai, prompting dazai to say he was jealous. My heart can't take this.

Next thing dazai informs him is that he's perfected his hard tofu recipe. Another throwback to dark era, where the hard tofu was going to be a suicide attempt, but ended up only cutting his cheek.

Oda about dazai: "He may have been an adult, but his boyish voice made him sound far younger. He smiled like a lost child who had finally found his house."

Dazai has crystal clear eyes when speaking with oda here. Reminds me of when he was fighting with chuuya against rimbaud in fifteen

Dazai looks like he about to cry when oda mentions they've just met

Dazai really seems to want to tell oda the truth about the world. But he can't.

Akutagawas skill can keep going after he loses consciousness

Akutagawa really likes going on revenge-suicide charges huh

"'You're not evil... you just don't know who you are yet.'" Common kunikida w

Akutagawa saying to atsushi "'My job at the detective agency does not include helping those with a death wish.'" Two things this illustrates: one, akutagawa doesn't hold vengeance above his morals anymore. Two, akutagawa isn't like atsushi in this way. Atsushi would help people escape their death wish, such as with kyouka and sigma.

Dazai says abt this fight between sskk, "That was just as good as match fight on the ship..." This is a reference to the main timeline

Dazai tells atsushi to go with kyouka to a "world of light."

The fact that dazai dies even though three people can know the truth abt the world makes me think he plans for them to tell someone else

"'From now on, allow me to handle any job that involves soothing children.'" Stark contrast to the beginning of the novel, where he threatens a child about a kidnapping

Akutagawa still helps kenji w the farm

"Whenever a document needed to be shredded, he gave it to Akutagawa, who would shout with a bit more cheer than usual, 'I will tear you to pieces!' before reducing the paper into fine scraps." And does he make a salad with it afterwards?

Elise is a beautiful woman of about twenty years old in Beast, which means she either was never a girl here or she was turned into a woman at some point. If the latter, I imagine it would be when mori is put in charge of the orphanage

Atsushi aimlessly wandered the country side after dazais death. I want an au where he finds kenjis village instead

Dazai saved moris life four years ago

This breaking the watch scene is just as good as the killing the headmaster scene

Mori, here, understands that using violence and fear to teach is wrong

Mori wishes he could have save dazai

In mainline, atsushi challenges akutagawa not to kill anyone and then they'll fight. In beast, akutagawa challenges atsushi to move forward

"'Until then, you can live here as my student - no, as my son.'" ILL CRY

I like the side theme of akutagawa being assigned as evil by not only the enemy, atsushi, but by gin as well. I think the way the ending wrapped it up was perfect, by having him decide to prove to *himself* that he is not evil.

33 notes · View notes

boyfhee · 2 years

Text

𐀔 RED STRINGS OF REWIND | n. riki

PRECIS. you and riki meet again, and again, and again, before you run away from him, only for fate to intertwine your paths, and start from zero, all over again. ( 6.75k )

GENRE. vampire ! riki, mystery, thriller, angst

WARNINGS. mentions of blood, hospitals, murder & deaths, depiction of potentially obsessive behaviour, multiple semi-graphic to graphic descriptions of self-harm, reader is kinda sick in the head both literally and metaphorically, riki is psychotic & he isn't actually a vampire or could be one tbh it depends upon your interpretation, transitions from past to present

NOTE. my cue to dip for next few weeks yawl <3 BTW IM SO PROUD OF THE HEADER BUT TUMBLR RUINED IT AND IT LOOKS WEIRD ON PHONE </3 big thanks to sai ( @jungwonize ) for helping me figure out the characteristics of a vampire pls that legit solved half my issues with this fic and also beta-ing this fr he's so <3 if you don't understand what's happening, i recommend you to read the whole thing because that's the only way for this to make sense. see y'all in a few weeks, happy reading <3

the first time you ran away from riki was when you were five. it was a pleasant day and you were enjoying your evening in the playground downstreet, playing catch with other kids around. an escape wasn’t necessary but you had accidently hurt riki while helping him speed up on the swings. that was the first time you had seen the boy shed tears. ultimately, being the last ones remaining, you saw the sun disappear behind the horizon as his sobs increased, the sand turning red due to blood. at that moment, all you could think of was to run; and so you did.

consequently, you started avoiding him at school. despite being just a kindergarten student, you had a keen eye, always looking out for things that could affect you negatively. perhaps, riki made it to that list, and you found yourself noting his every move. you had your eyes on every breath he took, every action, every word. you sat at the bench farthest from his seat in class, yet still your eyes didn’t leave his sight even for a second. you started lying whenever his mother called your mom, saying she was sleeping or simply, not home. you lied about the parents-teacher meeting being cancelled in case your teacher brings up the events from what happened at the park a few days ago.

the same went on for days, weeks even. you saw the everlasting friendship between riki’s and your mom turn shallow, hanging by a thread, on the verge of breaking. you didn’t mean it. the damage, you didn’t want this to turn into something big. your mom has known his mother since her college. being the top students and the best friends they were, they decided to live in the neighbourhood after the death of their husbands. your father died in a car accident. as for riki, from what you recall, his father never existed in the first place.

maybe the gods were on your side because soon after, your mother was fired from her job and luckily enough, your uncle helped her secure a job in the capital. it was nice, living two thousand one hundred and fifty two kilometres away from him, in tokyo, it felt good. you could finally breathe in relief. maybe, you feel bad for your mom since she had to leave her friends. perhaps, a part of you is upset since you had to leave your friends; though, if you had the chance, you would do it all over again.

you wanted to live peacefully. you don’t want people to blame for what happened. you didn't want to be the reason behind the dark blood stained patch on the sand that made the kids shake in fear in the dead of the night.

the second time you ran away from riki was in highschool. it was unbelievable, having him this close to you. you thought you left him behind, in okinawa, however on the first day of highschool, you had him standing in front of you, and you felt your heart sink into a never ending pit of horror. an escape wasn't planned but it was the only way left when he tried to strike a conversation with you. you both were alone in the dance room, a smile plastered on his face as he recalled the events you buried in the past. you felt your heartbeat accelerate, and your first instinct was to run; and so you did.

you spent that day in the cubicle, crying and fighting your anxiety attack. a couple few knocks on the door made their way to you but you didn't respond, knowing you're better off alone.

it felt horrifying to have your past come back to you. having riki standing in front of you was like a nightmare come true. you had noticed the scar of his forehead; reminding you of everything you buried deep, making sure no one would know about it. you wouldn't say you never expected to see him again. your grandparents live on okinawa and every time you visit them, a part of you anticipated seeing the boy somewhere around. it wasn't scary, really, for you don't live in okinawa and riki doesn't know where you live.

things were perfect, better than you had planned initially, since never once did you come across riki in okinawa. you even visited his house, asking neighbours about him and his family. someone said his father came and the family moved to germany with him. however, you knew that was a lie. your mother might've said that his father passed away when he was three, but you know he never had a father in the first place.

so, eleven years later, seeing him all the way in tokyo, attending the same school as you, it was like seeing death on your door. as if the reaper is at your doorstep, asking for your soul. however, your perfect highschool life turned into a pit of hell when the incident you've been hiding resurfaced again and this time, on a public stage.

‘how did you get your scar?’ a student had asked him, and you froze in your seat. the greater gods weren’t on your side since in the second half of second year, riki transferred to your class. you don’t know how that happened— or if it’s even allowed— he just did, and sat right behind you as you felt the situation grip out of your hands day by day. you expected him to disclose the intels to everyone the way he stared into your back. your heart skipped beats whenever his hand brushed past your back, or when he randomly grew a habit to play with your hair in the middle of science lessons. you didn’t think riki had any intentions of ruining things for you; that is, until that question was brought up during self study class.

you heard him shift his eyes on you as he smiled at the question. ‘ah, it’s a long story.’ he had responded. your grip around the pen in your hand tightened. suddenly, geometry was long forgotten and all you could focus on were the words leaving his mouth. ‘i was playing in a park with a friend,’ he continued, and you gripped the measuring compass, pressing its needle into the desk as your pulse surged up. ‘and got injured. the friend, however,’ you felt his gaze settling on your back once again, goosebumps rising at the sudden eerie change in the air. you lifted the divider off the desk, your right hand fisted up so tightly that you felt your nails leave marks on your palm. ‘what about the friend?’ the student asks, and oh how you wished you could wipe them off their curiosity forever.

sitting and letting him continue would be a mistake, like digging your own grave and waiting for someone to bury you. you couldn’t tell him to stop because that’d be no better than showing up at death’s door. ‘the friend, well,’ you felt him digging holes on your back by the way he’s staring at you. you felt him smirking through his words and sitting would be a mistake, so you took the measuring device and pierced through your wrist, making a deep wound that stained your shirt red, the same way riki’s blood stained the sand.

the students gasped, teachers rushed in, you were escorted to the infirmary. no one questioned about the injury, why or how it happened. their questions concerned your wellbeing and nothing else. their eyes were on you while yours were on riki, who waved at you with a smile before turning his attention towards the blood splatter on your desk like a moondrunk monster. that was the third time you ran from riki. an escape was vital and your first instinct was to get away from him; and so you did.

you didn't attend school after that.

the first few days were off as an excuse for your injury. you deliberately went for your dominant hand, knowing it would offer greater impact than any other part. it was a sporadic decision, yet proven to be worth the pain. you had your friends drop notes at your house, occasionally checking up on you as well. but as your hand got better, the reasons to stay home narrowed to a few numbers, ones that you can count on your fingers. so, burdened by the need of the hour, you prepared another plan.

attending school after three weeks would've been amazing if your brother hadn't called the local suicide hotline. it was six-thirty in the morning, you were in your room while your mom had sent your brother to call you for breakfast, only for him to find on your bathroom tiles, all red and pale from the blood loss from your previously injured wrist. you hated him for calling the suicide hotline. it was a wasted move, but you couldn't blame him when he made things easier for you.

news spreads fast, and gossip spreads faster. the details about you were headlines, if anything. while your teachers worried about you for taking such destructive measures, a few of your friends started suspecting that you had gone crazy. one of them saw you stab your own wrist, other heard you mumbling to yourself. you were also spotted staring at riki with your gaze bearing daggers against his neck. an anonymous post from a kindergarten classmate claimed you to be 'obsessive,' briefing about how you used to stare at riki all day, like a predator eyes their prey.

in just two months, the tables turned and you became the 'creepy' one amongst them. soon after, you stopped having visitors. while you declined some of their visits, others stopped caring about you, as if you would come for them next. your days started feeling longer than usual as your stay at the hospital increased. from psychic ward to er and from er to psychic ward, those were your only two destinations for the next few months. bottles of pills and syrups awaited for you thrice a day as the excessive test procedures became your only companion in the house of dead.

you had spent nights laughing and crying about your poor condition. you didn't think you would ever end up this way, between machines and syringes, taking pills as if they constituted a major part of your meals. it was pathetic, almost shameful. you were tired of running. you changed cities to escape riki. now, you're holding death's hand to save yourself from the same boy you thought you had left behind. you had considered quitting altogether at some point. you remember cutting your wrist right above a major artery, making it deep enough to drench the sleeves of your white hospital gown. you expected it to be the last time you would see your mother. however, you woke up amongst tubes and bandages the next morning, feeling weaker than ever.

your eyes fell upon your mother's pale figure, noticing how thin she had gotten since the last time you saw her. a nurse informed you that you had woken up after four days and your mother didn't even drink enough water during that period. that day, for the very first time in years, you wondered about how this might be affecting her.

suddenly, this game about life and death made no sense. running from riki seemed illogical. staying in the four walls of your hospital room started making you feel suffocated. watching your mother fight for your life day and night made you question your ways for the very first time. for the first time, you wondered if what you had been doing was right. you were ready to quit your act, deciding to change your ways, just for your mother, but that was until riki's name showed up on your mother's phone one night. a look at the call log signified that she had been in touch with riki all along, taking almost every day, texting even.

it felt unreal, like a betrayal. sure, your mother doesn’t know a thing about what you had been planning for years, but riki, of all people, it felt like living with a knife up your throat, and you realised that staying with your mother would be an open invitation to let riki into your life again. so, you decided to run again.

2 : 49 am — you had it planned. you left your room eleven minutes before three in the morning, knowing damn well that your mother would have the best sleep of her life with those five pills of temazepam you had managed to get your hands on after the doctor prescribed her a stronger medication for insomnia. somewhere inside, maybe, you felt guilty for deceiving your mother; or more like, overdosing her with sedatives to execute your escape plan. but none of it seemed to stagger you when the thoughts about your mother keeping in touch with riki flooded your mind.

echoing footsteps with moonlight illuminating the empty corridors, it was too late before you realised that you ran in all the wrong directions, trying not to bump into any hospital staff. you had seen it in the movies, but mortuaries always felt creepier than they make it to be in fictions. there’s an eerie glow in the air, one you can’t see but feel as fear crawls up your skin. you ran your fingers over the ice cold walls, strolling through the empty floor, finding your way out. despite the sinister flow in the air, your heart felt at ease, unlike your thoughts running at a thousand miles per second.

you drag yourself towards the elevator, legs almost giving up from the fatigue stacking up inside of you, the lack of food finally surfacing as your blood adorned fingers leave their imprints on the white walls. you were so busy escaping that you didn’t realise when the dressing on your wrist loosened, consequently making the blood drip down your hands everywhere you go. the elevator chimed, marking someone’s arrival, and before you could process the situation, his name fell off your lips.

‘riki—’ you had whispered in fear, stepping away from him as his feet ascended towards you. there was a smile on his face. not that you could see it, for he was looking at the floor, but you heard his faint chuckle spin into the air. ‘you shouldn’t leave any hints if you’re trying to escape,’ he had answered, wiping off a speckle of blood from his lips as his vision sharpened at the sight of the blood streaming down your hand. his antics were beyond your comprehension. maybe, he was the crazier one between the two of you. he called your name, voice pitched low as your breath hitched. another step towards you and you were running away with tears brimming your eyes.

the escape was impromptu, but equally necessary. your sense of direction dissipated as tears blurred your vision, heartbeat pacing up as you heard his footsteps echoing closely behind you. at that moment, you wondered if running away from him for the first time was the right choice. you could’ve helped him reach his home— which was just a few blocks away from yours— maybe, could have explained the whole situation to his mother and owned up to your mistakes. at that moment, the seventeen-year-old you pitied the five year old yn for the direction your life would proceed in after that innocent incident. and again, you could’ve helped him— could’ve— but you chose not to, for the five year old you were petrified at the sight of the boy looking at his own blood lusciously.

a striking pain surged up your ankles, and you found yourself rolling down the stairs; and if you recall correctly, you had screamed. it was more of a shriek, or a shout for help, one that alerted the couple few staff monitoring the mortuary. their muffled voices reached your ears as the pain emerging from your head seemed to nullify all your senses. you don’t remember a lot from that day, except him, or the way he stared at you with a frown sitting on his face as the nurses put you on the stretcher, a frown that morphed into a menacing smile soon before as your mind gave up on keeping you conscious.

which leads to the present day— in nagoya, where you’re living with your mother— surprisingly — doing quite well at twenty-seven, working as a lawyer at a local law firm. there are days when you look in the mirror, letting your eyes fall over all the scars you have given yourself. you let your mind trace over all the dreaded memories from the past, wondering how you made it out. it was quite funny, actually, resorting to death to escape it.

you haven't heard from riki in the past ten years. not that you want to, but he didn't try to contact your mother like he used to. he's just a sweet little kid in your mother's heart who stopped calling her one day. he's just a figment of her memory, or like a wild nightmare for you. you had heard from your mother that riki's mom passed away a few months after he started attending highschool, and that she sent him money every month to support him.

she's upset, but you're glad he's gone. you're thankful to the deities for finally putting him out of your life. your life feels easier. the incident from your childhood no longer sends chills down your spine. your mother looks healthier, you don't walk on eggshells anymore. occasionally, you wake up in the middle of the night, hyperventilating, whenever an incident from the past slips into your mind as a dream, but it’s fine. you have medications for them. you take medicines for anxiety attacks, for migraines, insomnia, and a lot more, honestly. your problems haven’t disappeared. they’re still there, actively being the reason for the tear stains on your pillow. they are still here, inside your mind, or beside you, walking hand in hand to remind you that you aren’t perfect— you never were. despite your perfect grades and physique, you struggle to remember things. you take antidepressants to continue with your profession. it was a fight, a war, maybe; it still is, and will continue to be one, but it feels nice to live this way, as if the universe has offered you a second chance at life. maybe, it was all worth the risk, worth enough for you to do it all over again.

“you’re zoning out again,” a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and it belongs to jay. his soft laughter spins into the air, mixing with the fragrant vanilla and cinnamon filling the cafe’s atmosphere with its magic. it feels nice to live this way because you have jay.

you had met him in college when you got lost on the campus. it was your second day, after all, and the locked rooms along with the lack of lighting on the deranged floor reminded you of the hospital. you were close to breaking down when you heard footsteps approaching you, accompanied with a concerned voice. that day, he didn’t leave your side even after classes, making sure to drop you home before continuing on the way to his’.

jay is a nice guy. yeah, he teases you a lot, points out your horrible sense of direction in front of your other colleagues, makes fun of the way you whine every time you have to work past the destined working hours, but it’s fine. he helps you whenever possible, has reserved his weekends for you unless work stacks up his desks. he feels like the highschool friend you wanted to have, like the person you would’ve had a crush on in school if he helped you with your assignments. in short, jay is nice, and even being twenty-seven year old with several never-ending issues didn’t stop you from falling for him.

“ah, by the way,” he speaks up again, gaining each and every ounce of your attention. “i won’t be able to drive you home today.”

“it’s fine. i can go by myself." those are the words you tell, however, a part of you feels upset since you planned on asking him for dinner. "honestly, i don’t know why you drive me home when i live just fifteen minutes away.”

“maybe because your directional sense is basically non-existent?” he mocks and you both step out of the cafe, your steps following him to his car. “still, take care. you know that killer is still out there, right?”

“of course,” a pause. you wonder if jay has something to say— and you swear you're not letting your hopes escalate higher than they already are. over the years, you have learnt to wish for the best and that's all you're trying to do right now.

“do you also think he's a vampire?” he asks, referring to the person the team had indicted this morning.

the question leaves you astonished. one wouldn't expect him to bring up a case that isn't his. jay has his habits— a fixed schedule, appointment limits, minding his own business— there are more. so, having him strike a conversation about something that didn't concern him was new. "what?”

“i don’t believe in vampires and all, but have you seen the fang imprints on the victims’ neck? it seems plausible, no matter how much i try to overlook it.” no, really, as an attorney, you could only think of how obscene this all sounds. you have heard about the rumours, they say the culprit is actually a vampire so hunts every wednesday, sucking people off their blood and leaving them to die, thus earning the notorious name; the vampire killer.

at the age of four, riki told you about vampires. he asked you if you knew what they were, and you responded with the classic definition that any other four year-old would've given. 'bad people who drink blood and are scared of the sun' with an uninterested grimace. your brows furrowed as you saw a sour expression settle in his face. that's when he told you another fact about vampires— they have a set target, and they chase it until it's theirs, no matter how long it takes.

you don't recall if he added anything else, not that you understand his words either, but the smirk on his face told you that riki liked vampires, probably a lot more than anyone else did.

“even if he is, they can’t say that in court,” and to be very honest, you don't want to involve yourself in a case that isn't yours either. it simply isn't worth the time. sure, the rumours going around may fuel everyone's curiosity, but not yours.

he sighs, getting into his car before rolling down the windows. “see you tomorrow. let me know if you get lost on your way home,”

“i will,” you affirm with a laugh, watching him drive away as you proceed to your walk back home.

the last time you represented a murder case was ten months ago, never again. you had a hard time dealing with everything. every mention of dead bodies reminded you of him. but you knew it was all your imagination, for riki was never a serial killer. he was just a boy, though with unusual habits, but still just a boy you had known long ago.

yet you still had your suspicion. you spent days wondering if he's schizophrenic or something along those lines, or if psychosis got the best of him. a clearer look into his condition led you to haemophilia— obsession with blood— which is fine, really, not everyone is the same. people are born different, with distinct characteristics. riki happened to be one of the very few; and honestly, he was never the one to fit the crowd.

you halt in the middle of the streets, interrupted by a call that displays 'prosecutor jung' on your phone screen. “hello?”

"attorney yn, you're required to report at the prosecution office urgently."

"right now?" you ask, confused by the sudden request and that too, two hours after your shift is over. "i'm almost home."

"we have, uh, a few things to discuss about the vampire killer case with you. please report as soon as possible."

and the next second, you hear silence devouring the other side of the line. you sigh, texting your mom that you'd be late so she doesn't have to stay up. call it overthinking or parental care, but even at twenty-seven, your mom looks after you like a five year old. you've had your aunts tell you to move out but honestly, you're having a good time living with your mother. it's better than living alone, given your health conditions.

resultantly, you make your way back to the law firm. this time, with a butter face. the extra working hours don't affect you anymore. you've done that a lot and it's a part of job responsibilities at this point. what's has your attention is the topic of concern, the vampire killer, a case you aren't associated with in any way. you haven't even read all the articles they had published regarding the case, and even if you had, you aren't sure if you would change your mind about the case being an utter idiocy.

you arrive at the firm, taking the elevator to the main prosecution office situated on the fourth floor. the building feels lonelier at night, especially with just a few people working in their cabins as even the quietest of sounds fills in the eerie silence. lifts and hallways always remind of the hospital and everything that had happened there. your skin runs cold whenever you find yourself in an alone hallway at night as the urge to run away tries to conquer your mind.

you have learnt to pay it no mind, though, just like now, as you walk up the empty halls while humming a song to put your mind at ease finally arriving at the designed venue.

"attorney yn," she shoots you an exhausted smile, the fatigue evident on her face. "thank you for coming."

you didn’t want to, actually; she forced you to come. and her being your senior, you had to follow her orders no matter how much you loathe it. "it's alright. what did you want to talk about?"

"yes," she turns around to grab a few documents off her desk before turning back to you. "we've been trying to question our prime suspect. however, he refuses to say anything without a lawyer. here are the files—"

"wait," you interject her words, cutting her off mid sentence. "why me? i mean, i'm not a criminal lawyer."

"we'll, you were requested by the suspect." she explains, her words making you freeze in your stance. "he claims to know you and wouldn't accept any other attorney."

you don't ask further questions, or rather, are not allowed to as mrs. jung and her team escorts you to the questioning room. she assures you that you only have to ask a few questions and after that, their lawyer would take over, but honestly, that's none of your concerns at the moment.

you don’t even know the name of the person indicted. they prefer not disclosing it. you haven’t even seen him because of your sheer indifference towards the case. you don’t know anything except that, his victims die of anaemia. you’ve had your suspicion— it’s him— and you’d be lying if you say you didn’t sleep for days when the news broke out. the truth is, you never recovered from the trauma. you claim to have forgotten the boy you used to play for hours with. you say his name doesn’t affect you anymore. however, the mere news about the blood-thirsty killer in the neighbourhood was a spark to your fears, gradually igniting it, and now it burns like a forest.

amidst all, you find yourself standing before the questioning room, ready to go in, and you have your one thing clear : this isn’t about riki. but that’s just something you’re convincing yourself to believe in for your sake.

you open the door, stepping in, eyes wide open at the sight of complete emptiness in the room, except one police official standing in a corner. you sigh in relief, taking a seat, maybe you weren’t just ready to face the suspect; or perhaps, you simply didn’t want to. the officer informs you that the person you’re about to would be back shortly, for he has gone to the washroom. in the meantime, you decide to look through the intels regarding the case, provided in a file handed over by the prosecutor in charge. there’s no picture— or maybe they didn’t add one— which is odd. there are blank spaces all over the pages with very few details written along the lines : suspect is in his late twenties, unemployed, lives alone, is conjectured to be suffering from renfield’s syndrome— those words leave a bitter taste on your tongue.

you don’t know much about that term. actually, scratch that, you don’t know anything about it at all. you don’t think the team handling the case does either, for there’s only scarce information present in the documents given to—

“it’s been a while, yn.” your breath hitches, heart skipping a few beats before beating restlessly. shivers shoot down your spine as your grip around the papers tightens, crumbling their corners. “we meet again.”

it’s him, you know it, it is him, nishimura riki— you know. he hasn’t changed much. riki still has his devilish eyes beholding a sinister glow. the menacing smirk still adorns his face like diamond jewellery. it has been ten years but the way your name rolls off his tongue still makes your skin crawl, giving you chills as all those memories flood back inside your mind. there’s a pen in your pocket, and you wonder if running away is still an option. you bite the inside of your bottom lips, tapping your foot nervously on the granite floor as the taste of iron conquers your mouth. a part of you wonders how riki would react to that. you look at the officer, and then contemplate doing exactly what you did in highschool.

“you can’t run away now.” riki chuckles. it’s more of a taunting laughter, one that reminds you of all the olden times. it’s infuriating and at the same time, is inducing fear inside your veins. you can’t look him in the eyes— you won’t— it’s the same as losing a game at the cost of your life. you take a sharp breath, digging nails into the palm of your hands once again, before his next words manage to seize your attention. “why have you been running from me, yn?”

it’s an innocent question, really, you wonder if the cameras in the room make you seem like a socially incapable person at the moment. “i’m in a hurry so let’s make this quick—”

“tell him to go out.” you flinch at his words, you always do. there’s nothing in the world that makes you shake in fear as much as riki’s presence. you look at the officer, and then at riki— his lips, because you don’t want to look into his eyes ever again. his words ring inside your head while you consider his request. “you’re taking a lot of time for someone who’s in a hurry, yn.”

you want him to stop calling your name. it’s not appropriate, quite literally, because you’re no longer friends. you’re his attorney and he’s your client, you want to create a line between, though, you dare not to. you look at the officer, gesturing to him to leave as he hesitates for a brief second before stepping out of the room. your instincts are telling you that it was a wrong move, for being alone with riki is equivalent to standing at gunpoint where the trigger pulls when the timer goes off.

“alright, let’s star— let me just—”

“my god, yn, you’re shaking.” he cuts you off, making your fingers wince at his voice. your gaze falls upon the floor, blinking nervously as you bite the inside of your cheeks, making your blood hold the only taste in your mouth. your eyes follow his actions as he stands up from his seat, the metal chair sliding against the floor, making you wince again, taking a sharp breath as he crouches in front of you. “are you scared?”

his voice is no louder than a whisper, but it resonates like a loud thud against your ears. as if someone is screaming in your ears. irritability surges inside of you as you start pricking the skin alongside your nails obsessively, glancing into the camera, waiting for someone to arrive and help you get out of this. the silence in the room trails on your skin, eating you out, before you decide to take the matter in your own hands.

you stand up, pushing your chair away from him with your legs as you exhale heavily. “please, go back to your seat.” you don’t look at him, actively avoiding his sight by running your gaze all over the room anxiously, but you feel his eyes on you like a burden on your shoulders. there’s a sudden shift in the air as he stands up, dragging his chair just next to yours before taking a seat and waiting for you to continue.

“is this okay?” it’s not, and you hate how you feel as if you’ve lost your ability to speak and counter his actions, simply nodding as you sit apprehensively on your chair. you pick one of the files, frantically going through the pages instead of reading it with proper attention. at this point, the case is the last thing you care about. with a heart pacing unbelievably fast, you feel like you’re going to have a heart attack, while your mind is reciting nothing but chants and prayers for the prosecution team to come inside.

riki’s eyes follow your gaze, watching you as you flip though the documents, sweat covering your forehead. his irises settle upon your hand, the one you had injured deliberately in highschool, and then the scars on your fingers and wrist that you had acquired over the years, finally residing upon a certain word on one of the papers that makes him chortle. “do you know about renfield’s syndrome?”

it’s a question that leaves you perplexed, making you freeze in your stance. “yes— i mean, no, i don’t.”

“it’s clinical vampirism, obsession with drinking blood.” there’s slight amusement in his voice as he inches towards you, whispering those words with a straight face. that’s the first time in years you look into his dreadful eyes. a pause, silence fills in the air between the two of you before he claps abruptly, startling you with his maniacal laughter. "it's crazy, right? people don't want to accept that vampires exist so they make it a medical condition."

your blood runs cold at the sound of his laughter. riki was arrested as the prime suspect for one of the most gruesome cases, yet no remorse has been evident on his face ever since you stepped inside the room. you pay his words no mind— try to—because indulging into his thought process would do more to you than you want done, and is, if anything, unnecessarily time consuming. "what were you doing this thursday?"

you inquire, waiting for his response, but not a word comes out of his mouth. he leans against the chair, playing with the ring on his index finger with a stoic face. your breath fastens again, nervousness creeping in as the silence drowns you inside of it. you're scared of riki's words, but you fear his silence even more. it's like a thousand screams lay unveiled behind his silence, and he looks at you as if you're going to be one of them soon.

"why do you always run away from me, yn?" there's sadness dripping off his words along with unknown beads of guilt. "from the playground, then school. you had always run away from me." he removes his ring, placing it on the table before looking at you with a luscious glint in his eyes, the one you saw that day, in the playground. "it makes me want to chase you even more."

another series of villainous laughter spins in the air as you stand up, rushing towards the door to call for help, only for him to make you trip on the calloused floor with his legs. you think you’re finally connecting the dots. however, you don’t want to accept it. his questions hold no meaning to you since he knows exactly what happened. riki knows you didn’t run away from the playground. you told him to stay while you called someone for help, but you turned around when his sobs stopped, only to see him devouring on his bleeding knee succulently. running away was the only escape for the five year old you, who had witnessed her only friend turn out to be a devillious monster.

you fist up your hands again, wanting the nails to pierce through the skin of your palms. you find yourself in the same situations you used to run from in the past, except, there are no escapes with time. your vision blurs as a single tear rolls down your cheeks while you attempt to stand up again.

"there, there; let me help you," the only sound you're able to perceive is his footsteps approaching you as he locks the door, sliding the key back inside his pocket before crouching in front of you once again. “c’mon yn, stop running away. don’t you think we should catch up after all these years?”

strings of no’s fall off your lips along with the tears streaming down your face as you drag yourself away from him, against the cold floor. you look towards the cctv, praying that someone would report soon. truthfully, they should’ve been outside, checking up on the situation since it has taken so much time. you hear riki sigh before shooting you a pitiful gaze. “you know, the cctv isn’t working.”

and just like that, the last strands of hope you’ve been holding onto breaks as you look into the eyes of the person you’ve been running from all your life. it feels as if the world has stopped with your breath caught up inside your throat. you watch his lips curl into a smirk as he inches closer to you, halting a few inches before your ears, whispering, "no one will come." and before you could react, you felt his fangs pierce through your neck as you feel all your senses died down.

perhaps, your biggest mistake is that you saw a friend in a monster. you had known it all along, his habits, the way you saw his mother drink down his father's blood— all of it; and yet, you wanted to believe riki was different. the truth is that everyone is the same under their varied skin. their true colour surfaces according to the need, making them someone the world never assumes them to be, like the innocent boy you once knew became your worst nightmare. and now, all you could do is wait to die as the excruciating pain makes it harder for you to breathe with every passing second.

and hour flies by, and the door finally unlocks, revealing a gruesome scene mrs. jung— blood splatters on the floor and on the wall, scratches on riki's faces, signifying that you had tried to fight, although ending up losing terribly. your pale blue body catches her attention, especially your lifeless eyes that still stare at with disappointment and shock. riki stands up in a daze, handing her his blood-drenched handkerchief. "her mother is next."

taglist in the rbs.

622 notes · View notes

first-of-her-nxme · 1 year

Note

What if Gendry r*pes Arya? I was talking with someone about theories and they were telling me practically a whole book , they said something about Arya having a child but leaving it with Gendry and go away in the sea!! For some reason it brought me back a theory i read on your Quora about a r*pe that could potentially tie in Arya‘s arc or attempt.. My thoughts were maybe The Mountain now Robert Strong or Jaime (revenge on Ladystonehart or something) and maybe Gendry 🤔

Hi Anon!

It's not going to be Gendry. Gendry had already made a move that looked like rape but, luckily for Arya, it was only a stupid play. Do you remember that they were wrestling in the smithy? Gendry invited Arya to a secluded place and then he pushed her to the ground. They wrestled and Arya looked like a rape victim afterwards. Her pretty dress was ruined and all. It looked like a rape attempt: luring a girl to a secluded place, pushing her to the ground, tearing her dress. I really hope it was only stupidity on Gendry's part, not a real threat to Arya.

That scene had its function. Because it made Arya look like a victim of sexual abuse. Moreover, when the two of them returned from the smithy, Martin let us hear My Featherbed, a song about a Targaryen prince in love with a girl from the North.

This chain of events reflects what happened between Robert, Lyanna and Rhaegar. Lyanna and Rhaegar fell in love in Harrenhal and it made Robert furious. When Rhaegar left, Robert "demanded his rights". Lyanna pushed him away, ran off and married Rhaegar.

Gendry, Arya and Jaqen are involved in a love triangle, similar to that of Robert, Lyanna and Rhaegar.

GRRM said that Gendry and Arya have no future together. There won't be any baby. If Arya is going to be a mother someday, Jaqen will father her child/children.

But back to the rape threat. There are at least three scenes in the books that point to a Lannister threatening Arya.

First one is the prologue to A Feast for Crows where Rosey is a foil for Arya, Pate is a foil for Jaqen and Lazy Leo is a foil for Jaime. Leo tells Pate that he wants to rape Rosey and Pate warns him that he might kill him if he does.

Then, in A Dance with Dragons, we get a foreshadowing of Jaqen fighting Jaime. It's in Jon X chapter where Alys Karstark marries Sigorn. Here, Patchface is a foil for Jaqen and Owen the Oaf is a foil for Jaime. The two are dancing together during the wedding feast which makes everyone laugh. It is a metaphor for the fight between Jaqen and Jaime. I suppose the latter won't be a laughing thing.

We also get a foreshadowing of a Lannister raping Arya in the Mercy chapter from The Winds of Winter. Here, Arya is playing a rape victim in the play about the Stranger's revenge. In the play the rapist is Tyrion. It's a reminder of the love triangle that GRRM had originally planned for Tyrion, Arya and Jon. In the current version that would be Jaime, Arya and Jaqen.

The showrunners of Game of Thrones gave a nod to that part of the books when they showed Arya and Jaime at the Twins in the finale of season 7. Arya wore the disguise of a wench and was eye-flirting with Jaime. Nothing much happened between them because Jaqen, and the whole storyline that came with him, had been written off.

Thank you for dropping by, Anon. And I apologize for the delay.

#arya x jaqen #arya stark #jaqen h'ghar #gendry waters #patchface #pate the novice #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #jaime lannister #jaqen x arya #rhaegar x lyanna #robert baratheon

37 notes · View notes

ninadove · 1 year

Note

18 and 25 >:)

18. It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... [ Professor Layton 🎩 ]

Them

Specifically the potential of Clive and Emmy meeting for the first time after Unwound Future.

Just imagine, Emmy finally coming back to London to find out her only friend/former boss/cousin gave her old job to an actual terrorist. Taking it upon herself to protect poor innocent Hershel from the obvious threat he brought into his own home.

Meanwhile, Clive, who has been working extremely hard to repair the damage he caused, is struggling not to snap at the woman who ran away from the consequences of her actions, and thinks she can come back into the Professor’s life just like that, after abandoning him for literal years.

It’s about growth it’s about challenging each other’s worldview it’s about getting two kids and a dog -

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing [ Miraculous Labybug 🐞🐈‍⬛ ]

"FeLiX oNly LiKeS kAgAmI bEcAuSe ShE’s A sEnTiMoNsTeR"

Tell me you don’t understand metaphors without telling me you don’t understand metaphors

Close second: "BuT hE sToLe HeR rInG"

There’s so much bad faith in these takes it has to be intentional at this point. How do you misinterpret an episode so badly if you’re not actively trying?

Thank you for the ask love 💜

Original here!

#professor layton #clive dove #emmy altava #clemmy #hershel layton #professor layton spoilers #miraculous ladybug #felix graham de vanily #kagami tsurugi #feligami #mlb spoilers #mlb emotion #mlb pretention #ask games #You and Dragon picked the exact same questions #The Sapphic Wavelength strikes again

17 notes · View notes

divine-knight-hand · 1 month

Text

❤️‍🔥 Warning: The following paracosm post contains mentions of grief, death, killing, and other potentially morally questionable elements. Proceed at your own discretion.

I spaced off during my sociology class and now I wanna do a little talking about this goof:

Okay, she’s not always a goof, but that’s my parame. I refer to all my paras as emojis, though, so you may or may not recognize her as 🔥.

(Also, for those of you who don’t know, a parame is the main character of a paracosm. Or, they can be the character a maladaptive daydreamer daydreams through.)

But today I got to thinking about a concept, and that was her as the justice lady (I dunno if she has a name or not):

Link to original photo: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/877216833655872421

I thought that it would make a cool art to represent a large part of her character, but since I can’t draw, I’m just gonna explain all the metaphors and motifs of this concept, even though nobody asked.

But, before we do that, we gotta start from the beginning:

That was how my parame looked at about 18 years old. That was probably one of the darkest times of her life, tbh. She was mourning the death of a family member (which she accidentally played a part in) before she ran away from home, but that’s not what I wanna talk about in this post.

When she ran away from home, she launched into a series of serial killings, referring to herself as “Justice Incarnate”. This is one of the first instances where I caught a glimpse of her radically righteous nature.

She was literally willing to kill to send a message, in the hopes of creating a better world for those who couldn’t fight for themselves.

This brings me to my first element of the idea to talk about. The skulls and the sword:

I know this figure isn’t normally pictured on a pile of skulls, but I thought this reference I found was perfect in terms of representing the violence my parame is capable of when she’s really passionate about someone else’s wrongdoings. Also, the sword is her go-to weapon of choice, so that happened to work out perfectly. Hehehe!

And then, of course, I have to explain the scales (A.K.A. The reason I chose this figure in the first place):

Like I mentioned earlier, 🔥 referred to herself as “Justice Incarnate”. She believed that she carried the burden that the system her society operated on just didn’t feel the need to take on. So, she went out and made a killing. As one does.

But, if I were drawing this out, there’s one change I would make. I wouldn’t draw her in a blindfold, because I never said she judged fairly…

#Anyways I hope you enjoyed imagining art I can’t draw with me~#The Knight speaks!#maladaptive daydreamer #maladaptive daydreams #maladaptive daydreaming #para portal #paraportal #parame

3 notes · View notes

thatlesbiancrow · 1 year

Note

ok so you tagged abt fiona shaving in shrek 2 as part of a sight gag but like I am legitimately convinced fiona is supposed to be a trans allegory. my evidence is as follows

- she was born a human n cursed as a child to switch between human + ogre but never be able to live peacefully as either

- to me this is like how trans ppl don’t feel like their birth gender, but don’t automatically feel like whatever gender they prefer either for a variety of reasons - be it that they never had the social experience of growing up that gender, they’re afraid to come out, they don’t fit traditional gender roles, they’re unclear on what they even want to identify as, etc. it really does feel like a curse sometimes

- she was told that the one cure to this is taking “love’s true form” - I will return to this

- the scene in the cabin when she’s worried shrek won’t like her because she’s an ogre doesn’t make sense from a literal standpoint - shrek isn’t prejudiced against ogres + is shown being actively proud of being one

- but read metaphorically as “my friend/potential partner won’t like me because I lied to them about who I am, and the lie is who they fell in love with - not the real me” it makes perfect sense

- fiona’s return to farquaad after shrek runs away also really does read to me like going back into the closet out of fear of hurting anyone else. keep in mind, at this point fiona thinks shrek ran away because he found out she was an orge

- ok back to “love’s true form”

- obviously the immediate implication is that an ogre is “love’s true form” because shrek is also an ogre, but they were just as into each other when they weren’t the same species

- so it wouldn’t matter to fiona + shrek’s relationship what form fiona took at all

- no. the reason it’s “love’s true form” is because the form of ogre, something fiona wasn’t given at birth but discovered as a child n fought but came to love, is what allows fiona to love the world n love herself n love life

- “love’s true form” is about self love + acceptance + living your truth ok. got it

- she is so so trans gender 👍

I can't really add to this, im just a cis girl that needs to shave a mustache, but if anyone wants to send me asks like this plz do! this was a delight to read!

but yeah i've always seen the "love's true form" as self love

#theywontletmebeprincipal #this is the first time ive read your url and it is very funny #i do know that the shrek franchise does have multiple instances of transmisogyny in their jokes #(which is why i read it as a gag)#but im glad that fiona can serve as a character to help all kinds of people feel better about their bodies #and i think it's really cool there can be that strong of a trans reading!#shrek #shrek 2 #fiona shrek

6 notes · View notes

thefallennightmare · 9 months

Text

Vindicta-Two

**I do NOT give permission for others to steal and post my original work anywhere else. * I created this AI picture on Gencraft.*

With a loud thud, my feet landed on the grassy mound and I rolled my shoulders back to retreat my wings. I stood in the middle of a forest surrounded by a meadow and a river. I found a cliff by a waterfall and on it; I built my home, metaphorically speaking. More so, I had chosen my new home. A place to hide away from the world. A place where I could plan my next move and seek the weapons that would give me the power I need to carry out my vengeance. And also hide from the shame of what I had done.

The man from the rooftop, his face had haunted my mind for the last several days and now, as I sit perched at my new home, it continued to haunt me. I had never killed a human, but I knew the ramifications if anyone found out if I did.

No one would, though. I covered my tracks. His ashes burned along with any identifying marks I had left behind.

With a quiet sigh, I turned on my heels to stare up at my new home. It was an abandoned cottage that after some time would become the perfect solace that I needed. No one was around for miles but I still kept my wings hidden, just in case some hikers stumbled upon the clearing.

A smile pulled at my lips as I remembered a time when it was acceptable to show my wings to others, to be proud of what I am. Now, it was a death sentence. As I grabbed a rock from the ground, I flung it into the river and watched it disappear. I made a mental note to never take my situation for granted again.

A few minutes later, I walked through the entrance to the cottage and as I stepped inside; the air held the stale scent of a place left unattended for years. The furniture remained covered in dust, no one had bothered to come in and clean it. The walls were a mess of wallpaper that had been picked out from different years decades ago and the ambiance of the place added to the eeriness that seemed to linger. It took a couple of hours to clean and set up the house; the sun setting past the mountains, and as darkness cascaded the sky, I stepped onto my wooden deck outside.

I surveyed the place for a few minutes, looking for any potential visitors, and then let my wings out. I was cautious as I didn’t want anyone to catch me, slightly bending and stretching them so they could get used to their larger size. The feathers felt differently against the air, for the first time more powerful than before. I breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing that I could fly without completely tiring out. The blackness of the feathers with the edges burning bright red and the thought of being the only one of my kin with these colored wings boosted my ego for a mere second.

My father, Gideon, had marveled in the beginning at the color of them but deep down I knew he was afraid. Lore had it that any angel born with black wings only meant one thing: Evil.

Which is why he never had a close relationship with me. Gideon had a reputation to uphold among our kin. If they saw him giving me any sort of attention regardless of me being his daughter, they would see it as an injustice.

Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine and I quickly looked over my shoulder. The chill wasn’t a new feeling, but it was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Shadows lingered in the corners of the cottage and I tensed, feeling my stomach churn at the thought of a Caligo visiting.

“It’s just a rabbit,” I assured myself, looking around for the creature. “Nothing to worry about.”

I allowed myself to relax again, moving away and back inside the cottage, appearing to be unfazed by the feeling in the air. Something dark loomed near me, something so powerful it could only bring harm to those I loved.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the feeling, and reminded myself why I had come all the way here.

Vengeance.

I balled my hand into a fist and made the pledge that I would get into Gideon’s inner circle. They banished me but I would find a way back in then no one could stop me from taking what was mine. I would be sure to get my revenge against all that had betrayed me.

It had been a few weeks since arriving at my new home but in that time; I had yet to visit the small town. Which is where my feet took me now. It was the same routine I had always done when I lived somewhere different. Go into hiding when I first arrive, silently surveying the area in the middle of the night while the humans slept then slowly start going out into the public eye more.

The town fair was happening this weekend because everyone in town was in the center square tonight, laughing while stuffing their face with either cotton candy or corn dogs. I did what I could to blend in, pulling the leather jacket closer to my chest as I weaved my way through the crowd. I marveled at the way people forgot about everything bad in the world for a few hours, letting the excitement of the rides or games cloud their minds. The sudden change in wind blew the loose strands of hair that fell from my ponytail and I let my eyes flutter shut, trying to act like the humans for a few seconds. While they all basked in the excitement, I was here for one reason.

Caligo’s.

I still didn’t have any proof that there was even a pack living here. To be honest, I thought that within the last century, Caligo’s had been wiped from the planet. They were never visible to the human eye so it would be worthless to ask them if they had seen any ghostly wolves lurking around.

“Yeah cause that will make me fit right in,” I grumbled to myself.

With a sigh, I continued my walk through the fair, declining the vendors that offered me some kind of overly fried food. Since I was an angel, I never needed to eat to survive, but that didn’t stop me from indulging every once in a while; especially in the bag of cheddar popcorn that was offered. After handing the vendor a few dollars, I popped a handful in my mouth all while keeping my hard gaze through the crowd.

The bag of popcorn fell to my feet as I came to a fast halt. My mouth fell agape, my breath catching hard in my throat, and I felt my wings burn inside the skin of my back with so many emotions because of the scene in front of me.

Draven.

He stood tall with his group of others, a few of them laughing loudly while others simply examined the walk-buyers with a judgmental eye. He was even more handsome than I remembered, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched a little boy win the teddy bear from the highest peak of the ring toss game. His disguise was not complete, the secret glow of his true form showing through the loose threads of his shirt and jeans. Draven flicked his gaze to me and for a second I felt like the both of us had completely stopped in place. He didn’t move but his wolfish eyes seemed to bore into mine I could only stand there, certain that if I were to move my feet would betray me by running straight towards him. We watched each other for a few seconds more as if we didn’t believe what we were seeing was true.

My heart was pounding hard in my chest, his beautiful features glittering in my eyes, and I cursed myself for falling for his glow. He was an asshole, stood by, and did nothing when I was banished. I should loathe him but yet. I can’t stop the way my eyes travel all over, drinking him in. There was stubble grazing his chin. The last time I saw him, his brown hair was long, cascading around his shoulders but now, the sides were shaved while there was a good amount of hair still on top of his head, the brown locks falling into his eyes and he ran a hand through it. I sucked in a gasp at the biggest change; his arms were covered in a variety of tattoos and I could see the tips of one peaking out from the collar of his shirt.

The only way I knew it was him was the piercing grey of his eyes.

It had been over three hundred years since we’d seen each other and he looked so different but the same.

“Falah?”

My name fell from his lips with so much shock.

I swallowed hard. “Draven.”

There was still a few feet between us but neither of us made the first move to close it. All the words I wanted to say ran away from my mouth and I wasn’t sure how to act or how he would react to me being here. He seemed just as speechless as I was all while intensity continued to linger in the air. We simply stared at each other for what felt like forever until I realized I had to be the one to break this spell he had over me. I crossed my arms over my chest and cleared my throat.

“What are you doing here?”

He blinked rapidly, rearing back at my tone before his facial expression contorted into a smirk. My heart broke for him a little more.

“You should know better than anyone that I always come to the fair. It’s tradition.”

I clenched my jaw, my nostrils flaring a bit. The fact that he had never forgotten about our little tradition even though I had, made me feel foolish. He tilted his head to the side and continued to smirk, expecting an answer from me.

I took a few steps backward, needing to distance myself from him before I lose myself in his presence.

“I should go,” I said quickly before turning on my heels.

“Wait, Falah.”

I paused for a second then shut my eyes. “What do you want, Draven?”

He stepped closer to me, the heat of his body radiating off around me. “Does your father know you’re here?”

I gritted my teeth. “Fuck you.”

Draven made a clicking noise with his tongue and raised an eyebrow. “You’ve gotten such a filthy tongue while living here, Falah.”

The way my name sounded on his lips made my skin shudder in such a way that I had to bite back the moan.

No.

I would not allow him to have this effect on me, not again.

“Goodbye, Draven.”

I shook my head, stepped away from him, and fastly walked away, my feet running faster than my mind. My wings burned from the restraint of seeing him again, it brought back memories for the both of us we had done our best to forget. All I could do now was flee and hopefully, he would not have followed.

Draven would always have a certain power over me and I had to be the one to make sure that I could remain strong and not give in. I had a different mission now, and it didn’t involve the man I once loved millennia ago. It was time to focus on me and my revenge.

Blowing out a deep breath, I stopped in front of the cottage and surveyed the area. No one was there, no one had followed me.

Good, I thought to myself. I have to get myself together, this is no time to be caught up in feelings. I grit my teeth, feeling stronger than before, and made the decision that I will seek justice against my father and his cronies. Vengeance was my mission and I would let nothing stop me from it.

#fallen angel #fallen angels #fallen angels romance story #fanatasy romance #fantasy romance stories #fallen angel oc

2 notes · View notes