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yeonslayjun · 1 month

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Dumb and Dumber - Hualian

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so OBVIOUS and OBLIVIOUS at the same time Honestly They amaze me ngl

Cuz Hua Cheng be Like - Wdym Gege Loves me?? That's impossible like I don't think he loves me solely for the fact that I'm one of his last believer left and that I built a FUCKING CITY for him and how I ran helped him in a case and dressed up as a Groom and gege was a bride (Oh his dead heart definitely started beating then pls ) and how I Built a temple to worship him and how I released 3000 lanterns for him and that I've made 10,000 statues for gege and not how I have red thread of fate on my finger bc he tied his hair on my finger

ALSO wdym I had my gay awakening at the land of tender??? Impossible He's my god I can't have those feelings for him bc I'm a dirty piece of shit (NO YOU ARE NOT)

and DEFINITELY NOT HOW I GAVE HIM Spirtual Power... DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHA.... Now let me just ask his hand for marriage OH nvm I'm unworthy he doesn't like me ( WHILE XIE LIAN IS SITTING ON HIS LAP ) let's make it into a joke hahaha..... OH? Gege's says he's happy for my beloved when will he know it's him talking about?? :( ( let's ignore he didn't know half of these lmao)

OH MY GOD GEGE SAW THE STATUES That's it I'm getting disowned by him He'll hate me ofc he will... I knew this would happen no I'm okay, IT'S FINE... Yeah he really should make it clear that he doesn't love me huh? :((

Like Hua Cheng is SO DOWN BAD for Xie Lian Like Honey we get it You exist to LOVE your Taizi Danxia and to serve Cvnt and angst

AND

My guy Xie Lian here is SO VERY OBLIVIOUS like I get that he was practicing abstinence but bro's like -

Oh Hua Cheng is such a pretty name *giggles* Oh and his hands were so beautiful and he was gentle with me too when he dressed as the Groom *blushes* Oh Crimson Rain Sought Flower is his name? *swoons* HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT *nosebleeds*

I like this kid san lang. OoO Did he just suck the poison out of me?!?! DAYUM he killed so many people at once *swoons x2*... WAIT IS HE HUA CHENG??!?! Oh my gosh IT IS Hua Cheng ajhsjdhsudhu Let's act calm and composed hehe. Let's sleep together cuz He would never hurt me >:( I wonder what happened to the kid who said he'd worship only me :( He was a good kid yk? Had one eye covered too kinda like you actually haha Funny Right???

He's so perfect as a "sworn brother" ( Yes I'm looking at you SQX) protecting me and shit. Wait he trusts me??? ME?!?! huh?!?!. San Lang~~~. AHHH HE RELEASED 3000 LANTERNS FOR ME AHHHH I LOVE HIM as a friend ofc ofc.

Oh I LOVE getting Spiritual Energy from him <3 that wasn't a kiss nope it wasn't.... ERROR 101 San Lang asked my hand in marriage ERROR.... o h He was Joking :( ofc he was :((( I wish he wasn't tho :((((( SAN LANG HAS A BELOVED?!?!? Ofc he has He's such a handsome and kind man he probably gets all the bitches he wants But why do I feel smth weird in my heart?? (IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY YOU DUMB MOTHOFO )

Honestly God (Jun Wu LMAO) Knows how he survived the past 800 years like BRO WHY IS YOU SO STUPID when it comes to love?!?!? Like ISTG He's one of the smartest of all the jokes called "GODS". But he still doesn't get it till he saw the 10,000 statues Hua Cheng prepared like pls

ALSO Hua Cheng the ghost king who defeated 33 gods and how his smartass self esp rubbed the floor with them Civil Heavenly Officials But the one moment he needs it to realise the VERY OBVIOUS FACT that Xie Lian loves him The Genius Smartass is nowhere to be seen

But tbh I can't blame Hua Cheng much here cuz Xie Lian was very oblivious to his own feelings pls BUT STILL

Their Slow-burn was too much for me Like the chemistry was SO OBVIOUS but they're just Dumb kids when it comes to feelings *sighs* The Hualian Brainrot is rotting my brain away as we peak

#the hualian brainrot is very much real #dumb and dumber #obvious Hua Cheng and Oblivious Xie Lian for the win #ISTG Xie Lian rule breaker for Hua Cheng #Slow burn slow burned so much here I literally died and reached Ghost City #unrelated but I REALLY Wanna live in Ghost City rn actually #idk where i'm going with this #tgcf spoilers #tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #tian guan ci fu #heaven officials blessing #mxtx tgcf #hualian invented love #crimson rain sought flower #san lang #crimson rizz sought flowers

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crimrosenberry · 1 year

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Will and some Naomi hcs before TSaTS comes out

Solace is not Naomi's birth surname, she got it legally changed when she was 19

As a little kid Will would tell the teacher if someone said shut up

He would also probably say "hate is a strong word..." whenever anyone was complaining about something

Raised christian (some flavor of it at least) and still kinda believes in it, in his own way

I like the idea that he has a southern accent (even though logically speaking he probably doesn't, he's from Austin) so I explain it by his grandparents living in a more rural area, and he mostly lived with them before camp.

Apollo just met Naomi in Austin, where she had ran off to in hopes of furthering her career.

Will first came to camp fairly young, maybe at 9 or 10. No one could understand him well at first, his accent was too thick, but it's thinned out over the years.

I think he also actively tries to tone it down, cause of teasing and stereotypes

Also Nico has an italian accent, bc I said so <3

Had braces from 12-14

Favorite color is red (his least favorite is orange or yellow)

Absolute control freak when it comes to the infirmary. Especially after the wars, he just clings to the the fact that SOMETHING is in his control

Like he has a chill vibe but is one of the strictest counselors

Not much of a sweet tooth (in contrast nico is very much a sweet tooth...did he ever get his taste buds back?)

Pls don't kill me...I don't think he's an animal person. I think he's kind of neutral, with slight dislike towards dogs. (His brother DID get eaten by a hellhound...)

((Nico is a dog person btw))

Yeah I feel like he's tone deaf. Makes it worse when his parents are famous musicians, and all of his siblings can sing at least decently. He claims to not really like music, but it's just because he absolutely sucks at it

Bro has anger issues. I think it's been constant throughout his life, maybe one of those side effects of being a demigod along w the ADD and dyslexia, and was a main reason he would get in trouble in school before he lived at camp. He manages them better at camp though, most people around him being neurodivergent helps.

Science and math guy

Horrendous handwriting

Makes a lot of puns and voice impressons

Addicted to caffeine

Jock Will Solace <3 played soccer in elementary school

Judging by the dedication of TSaTS, Will will likely be bisexual in canon. Which is fine, but personally I prefer him as gay or queer. Why is it in same sex couples in media one of them is always bi and the other gay? Especially when the bi one is a tall extrovert and the gay one is short and edgy. I dunno. I wouldn't say it's harmful or anything, just becoming bored of it.

#will solace #naomi solace #nico di angelo #i just made up a whole guy huh #wish there was more about him in canon #pjo hc #solangelo #toa #pjo #hoo #pjo apollo #toa apollo #the thing about solace being a made up last name stems from the on the nose naming in these books driving me nuts

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chompersbrainrot · 1 month

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procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green

probably like 23? 25?

hes actually bi he told me himself

afab he/they boyflux sue me

lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)

orphan sorry i dont make the rules

his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk

hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.

ted spankoffski

like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink

so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan

amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck

has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)

doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)

him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted

max jagerman

im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18

im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab

hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women

everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)

he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY

his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth

stephanie lauter

genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me

pan thats cannon she told me xirself

does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose

the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese

will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun

hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it

pete spankoffski

he/they afab i dont make the rules

bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)

actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it

nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)

ex-brony

richie whateverhislastnameis

afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights

gay mlm yes

undertale enjoyer

nge enjoyer

discord mod in an anime server

owns several body pillows

xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand

ruth whateverherlastnameis

afab she/they

omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta

biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)

got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list

fav show is heathers

heather m kin i dont make the rules

grace chastity

afab she/her

liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell

i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount

not even arson wise but like

a firebug

tinky

i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want

all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever

i do he/him tho

tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)

the "youngest" of the siblings

boy jerry

i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #ethan green #ted spankoffski #max jagerman #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #grace chastity #tinky #boy jerry

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j-ellyfish · 9 months

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On the topic of gerita, I would like to hear your opinion on the following, though many might disagree with me. I think that newer forms of itager are cute (save for when OOC-ness makes them into completely different characters, which happens often. I don’t think people know that whoever tops doesn’t have to be tough/dominating and the bottom weak and innocent).

But who is italy fooling? Are we really to believe someone so… flamboyant, fruity, what have you, is a total ladies man? Hear me out. He’s shown flirting with girls often, but usually only as a way for Hima to let germany become frustrated or annoyed by it, and not ever outside of that context. That isn’t to say that he doesn’t like flirting, but the closest we’ve seen him get with anyone was being fawned over in BSV, but I have to wonder if these ladies are seeing him as more of a novelty than an actual potential date. The dude went skipping down the street with flowers for his male friend only days prior, he just doesn’t scream super straight to me. Italy is charming, and cute, but I feel like he comes across as so gay that I just don’t fully understand it. People are free to present and behave as they please, so I hope I’m making some sense. I don’t intend to invalidate those who don’t follow gender expectations, my assessment is more along the lines that he just strikes me as gay due to his actions. But imo I’m just like, who are you fooling bro. Your only canon relationship was with a boy, and although his flirty prowess is mentioned often, when have we ever seen him get anywhere close to getting any? I just think it’s funny since the more current view of Italy is less traditional than his roots, and paints him as kind of a slut LOL. I don’t dislike this interpretation. But all I ever see in him is gay, and maybe engaging in some overcompensating for that since it’s clearly a touchy subject for him. I think he might also just be oblivious enough to not fully see that the way he speaks about and to germany is also really gay.

TLDR I feel like his bouts of flirting is used as a plot device, and I’m not really buying that he’s anything but gay and also likely a virgin (which yes, was initially said because he feared for his life and he would’ve said anything, but he’s also said it at least in one other situation, I think some dude was asking him if his younger self was his kid or something). Plus HRE died semi recently in the grand scheme of things, I find it hard to believe that he immediately went hooking up with ladies after a loss that great. I’d love some input though, even if your interpretation totally differs from mine! This is the kind of stuff that keeps me interested in Hetalia.

[Sorry for replying a bit late!]

Honestly, I don't really think much about the HetaCountries' sexualities, I tend to just pick any relationship I click with freely. But, in theory, I believe they are all bi to some extent, but mostly just among their own kind. I don't think HetaCountries usually go all the way with humans, because apparently being close to a HetaCountry doesn't do good at all to a human's mental health. And surely, perhaps one night stands are safe territory to meet a Nation in, but still, I prefer thinking about them as a bit more of mystical creatures who don't really enjoy mixing intimately with people outside of their own kind, though it might occasionally happen.

This said, I do think Feli definitely shows a preference for guys over girls, especially considering his first love was a boy and they were like, toddlers. I think Feli could be the kind of guy some girls might like, I mean he's nice and friendly and cute. Not everyone is after the shamelessly flirty, charming or bad boy type. On the other hand, I think in some scenes (like for instance the restaurant one in Buon San Valentino) the attention Feli is given by women seems more maternal, like they're older women thinking "oh this is such a fine gentleman, I'd love him as my son, or I'd have loved him as my boyfriend if I was 20 years younger). Feli definitely has some 'grandma's sweetie' vibes, doesn't he? lol

While I do believe he's a virgin, I don't think his statement here should be taken as a solid fact, since he also claims he has "relatives in Bayern" which is not true and the entire scene is played out to showcase a trope/stereotype about Italians mostly seen in American movies.

I think Feli enjoys flirting around just because he's a people pleaser, loves complimenting others and being told he's a good boy. He also probably, lowkey enjoys the slight sense of control he gets from being able to make a girl (or a boy, see your average Gerita interaction) blush or feel flustered/affected by his words or behavior. Nonetheless, I think he would never get intimate with any of those girls, because as you said, HRE's tragic end is still a relatively fresh wound and I do not think Feliciano has completely moved on. Considering Feli has no way of knowing if Germany is in some way linked to HRE, and he too, like the fandom, probably has thousands of guesses on the matter that he cannot prove right or wrong, it comes across as extremely suspicious that the only time he ever brings HRE up as an adult is in Buon San Valentino. The way I see it, is that Feliciano decided to confess that to see if it would resonate in any way with Germany, just in case. He's also blushing so deeply when he mentions that ...

Yeah, whether Feli is gay or bi, he definitely has a preference for men when it comes to actual business, but I don't think he's ready yet to openly love again after HRE's loss. He has feelings for Germany, but I think he doesn't dare act too much on them because, if Germany is not in fact HRE (and again, Feli has no way of knowing that besides occasionally throwing in a half-memory and see if it wakes anything up in Ludwig), he still feels like he's cheating on his first love. His first and only love, the one he still loves the most and, deep down, is still waiting to see coming back like he promised. Whether it's in the form of HRE himself, or Germany suddenly remembering his past life. He's absolutely not over it.

... I mean, hard to get over your first love, whose last words before going to war are these. Even in the case Feli accepted the possibility of HRE being dead and not ever coming back, it'd still be hard for him not to feel guilty loving someone else, when these words still resonate in his head alongside HRE's blushing and crying face looking at him with eyes full of love.

#oh noes it's 3am and 'm having Holytalia feels now///#sorry not sure if I went OT or not but I hope I didn't disappoint you! :(#ask #aph italy #aph germany #aph hre #gerita #holytalia #ary spoke

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real-total-drama-takes · 10 months

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im bored and kinda high so heres my opinion on all the reboot characters

caleb - is a character

axel - im just as gay for her as the next guy but there's no way in hell she's final two next season lol but i wanna hold hands w her

nichelle- yass girl give us nothing 🥰

scary girl - idc idc she was funny asf but i am glad she went early bc if she stayed any longer i wouldve hated her lol

damien - one of the best things to come from the reboot and yall are doing him a huge disservice shipping him w priya 🥴 that shit is so boring but honestly? there might be something there somebody's gotta make me a believer tho. CONVINCE ME

mk - as a bitter, annoying, sarcastic individual myself i could not stand this bitch omg 💀 her character has a ton going for it but all they did w her is make every single one of her lines sarcastic n shit and i was BORED

raj - dumb gay man i love him

wayne - dumb ace man i love him

ripper - bro just wasnt funy. i dont get why they make characters who just pride themselves in being nasty n shit kind of a waste of development idk

zee - we can all agree that he was great but he gives me early boot vibes for next season bc like if we're demanding development for all the first season early boots then he's just gonna be there ig. dumb can only get you so far yknow?

chase - him and emma both are such wasted potential like BREAK THE HETEROS UP OMG their relationship dragged the second half down so bad like chase is just bad for the sake of being bad. like he wasn't even funny either just a waste of space by the time he was gone 😭

emma - first i'll say im glad we got a plus sized girl w some fucking athletic ability beCause THEY EXIST yay happy but anyway she was so funy until she got back with chase and that whole shit w him throwing that challenge for pizza was so DUMB like she honestly thought he did that shit for her 💀 like she was CONVINCED bro the straight delusion was insane

julia - she was the bad bitch we all needed and deserved but i cannot sit here and let you mfs say that she played the game well bc she absolutely DID NOT. girlie had no actual strategy other than winning and thas not even a strategy. even her trying to "manipulate" chase that one time sucked too lmao. bro her goal was to get everyone to hate her and win out of spite that shit is so dumb but it's so her so idc we love her anyway

millie - there were so many times where i lowkey forget she existed lmfao i don't even dislike her it was just "oh yea she here too lol" but i gotta say it kinda feels like they used her as a scapegoat to make writing her outta the finale easier idk maybe it's just me. but her crying after bowie clowned her ass when she was eliminated was the funnies bit in the entire show i was giggling n shit bc she honestly did that to herself lmao rip

priya - people compare her to zoey and sky way too much honestly (its me, im people) but when you look at it we have a mary sue that was infuriating to watch , the same girl but olympic flavored whos existence i have to be reminded of every two months, and priya. priya is perfectly fine and she was a nice winner even if i knew she was gonna win the second she was onscreen lolZ but when she read millie's notebook and absolutely demolished her ego i was living. like girlie ate her up w absolutely no crumbs left idc

bowie (the real winner) - i was fully prepared and ready to hate this twink istg. like i was in my homophobic era and ready the second his name was called but omg i love him sm. he was the queen i never knew i needed in my life. and to all the mfs who say his gayness is his entire personally have never met an fem black man and it shows 💀 idc what anyone says he's the best writer character in the entire show 🤭 as much as i love him i cannot let his fit slide. the pearls can stay bc those were a serve but the pants??? THE FUCKING PANTS??? THOSE FUCKING FLOOD WARNING HIGH WATERS.?? why would they do him like that omg. fits like that are why we get hate crimed 😔

ok im done good luck to anyone who actually reads this lmao

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td Millie #td priya #td caleb #td wayne #td raj #td bowie #td axel #td Nichelle #td scary girl #td julia #td mk #td emma #td chase #td zee #td ripper #td Damien

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twilightofthe · 8 months

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okay i put all my cranky thoughts into a separate post that's now drafted and it made me feel better so i'll be able to watch this episode now lol but if it gets me worked up again i'm posting the rant i'm sorry i cannot be helped or changed or saved <3

ANYWAY AHSOKA EP 2

also i forgot to say so last episode but kevin kiner my ABSOLUTE BELOVED the return of the king is real so happy to have you here my dude the ending and full theme was absolutely gorgeous

anywayyyyyy so i am guessing sabine did not make like satine and survived her shish kabobing

well there's ahsoka

oh yeah there's bean she's fine she'll be fine xD

damn filoni really gave more handwaving to having a character survive a major impalement vs me twisting myself into fucking knots writing anakin getting run through lmao

ahsoka sorry but actually i'm gonna blame u for this you still kinda seem like a mess and i don't think you were a very good teacher to sabine and now ur dropping back in on her when she's convenient to you?

well at least we know why she's so adamant against training baby yoda lol

ope here's goth girl and the fuuuuck is his NAME again i keep calling him fucking bryan

i like the fancy sithy-looking sundial tho

pfff second ep is "toil and trouble" guess we're getting witchy!

OH YEAH WAS SABINE'S KITTY OKAY

THEY BETTER BE OKAY

I SWEAR TO GOD

yea ahsoka what happened to showing up in the nick of time and saving kanan and ezra from inquisitors in rebels u were slowwww girlie

OK GOOD THE CAT IS OKAY

that's all that matters

ope one more droid hanging around ezra's place

GIRL UR SITTING UP ALREADY?!

GIRL HOW CAN U BREATHE

we do love the mechanic girl of my heart

sabine does love her explosions

no huyang hera just likes explosions

sabine works best under explosive pressure we LOVE HER

ope back to corellia i guess? we can reuse the old solo sets?

sabine

you were just

impaled

"but she's not the one who needs to hear it right now" ahhh there's the sabine and hera dialogue. ugh but i'm still not used to natasha and mary i can just hear tiya and vanessa doing it instead :(

WHY DO Y'ALL KEEP MAKING SABINE AND AHSOKA ANGRY EXES TF

"ancient ppl from a distant galaxy" waaaaaaait are they bringing in those eu dudes

no wait i think i remember something about these guys that was mention as the big bad in the canceled animated rebels sequel

or it could just be the chiss lmao

that could be it too, makes sense why they'd want thrawn

ok that is some real cool galactic map visuals i am an absolute sucker for a good starmap

ok but wait how the fuck did y'all get a map to thrawn anyway did the space whales write it

also sorry morgan but i don't personally think thrawn would go for u nothing personal you are hot but you don't quite seem his type

waaaait is fucking thrawn gonna have force sensitivity now THAT would be absolutely hilarious and he'd hate it so much

who's marrok i have no memory

y'all you can't just make thrawn work for you didn't he only work with the empire cuz he had to because it would advantage his people somehow (has read zero thrawn novels and only seen rebels)

please tell me sabine is in the fucking vents of ahsoka's ship

THERE'S THE GHOST WHERE IS CHOPPER

I AM NO LONGER FUCKING ASKING

okay so i think my issue with Mary is she doesn't have any of the same authority and purpose Hera's meant to hav

CHOPPER

MY MURDERBOT

MY SON

MY ANGEL MY EVERYTHING

Anyway

yeah

oh yeah harping in that the new republic is a total fustercluck

ew a capitalist

bro you know hera used to steal from people like you for the rebellion

sdlkfjsdk omg sabine's mom needs to talk to the teacher to keep her from getting expelled

but also y'all sabine is like 25-30 right now she's not a kid

@ ahsoka bitch you have no fuckin clue what you're doing doooon't talk about readiness

y'know maybe the imperial era just advanced medicine so later impalements don't kill people

oh oh so it IS ezra's!

sabine go find luke he'd love to have you

STOP WITH THE GAY DIALOGUE

ok so yeah she likely doesn't have force sensitvity

goddammit huyang neverMIND

so sabine IS force sensitive :) and kanan and ezra just never brought it up :) great :)

hera my beautiful ship nerd ily

bitch do NOT fuck with hera she has more presence than anyone ever

hera my dude you know better than anyone that if a ship wants to take off you gotta go try and stop it in person

ah i have been waiting like 5 long years to watch hera best pilot there was kick aerial ass

we STAN

chopperrrrrrrrr

oh yeah ahsoka's fighting an inquisitor too lmao

CHOPPER GET THEIR ASS

CHOPPER ADD TO YOUR KILL COUNT

ok this hera and chopper banter is perfect i do love it

VICTORY FOR MY GHOSTS

oh and good job ahsoka lol

aghhh sabine and her therapy cat i'm ;_;

theeeeere's sabine's mando armor

SABINE AND KANAN'S FUCKIN KNIFE I'M GONNA EVEN IGNORE THE BAD MULAN HACKJOB ATTEMPT

okay it seems like mary's kinda on and off for hera so far, she has her moments but she can't hold them

rosario keeps losing me i'm sorryyyyyyyy

natasha is doing GREAT

aaaaaand we redoing the end of the rebels epilogue!

god this makes me miss zeb

and kanan obvs but i've come to accept his death

zeb's still hanging around where is he!!!!!

ah all is right

sabine has her gay haircut back

here we go gay roadtrip to find ezra time

alright so i'm still not really vibing with jedi!sabine at All but i have concluded that this show is watchable but honestly not that good, writing-wise, sorry dave, so i think i'll be able to watch it with my brain turned off

goddammit first i thought the holograms visiting morgan were nightsister witch ghosts xD

RIGHT RIGHT HIS NAME IS BAYLAN NOT BRYAN

morgan stop simping for thrawn i guaranTEE he's not your type

oKAY

we are through with the two episodes! it is very late for me so i'm gonna sit and think on what i've seen so far and shitpost a little. i did really like seeing my rebels blorbos again even if the live action actors don't quite have their groove yet. obviously very excited to retrieve ezra <3 so yeah that was that and i'll be back for more next week!

#sw the ahsoka show #ahsoka #sw ahsoka #ahsoka spoilers #star wars #sw spoilers #star wars spoilers #ahsoka show #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #liveblogging the ahsoka show

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redwayfarers · 4 months

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4 and 17 for Cass and Nika? 👀 from the 🔥spicy🔥 asks

🔥spicy🔥 asks indeed

4. what are some features of others that arouse them, or they find arousing in a sexual situation?

cass: lips!! he likes pretty hair he can play with, but i think an even bigger turn on for him is plump, juicy lips. kissable lips. he likes kissing in general, so liking pretty lips is just an extension of that. he would probably find kissing someone with a lip piercing interesting because of this. also, bellies - he likes a good belly show, and likes kissing people's bellies.

nika: chest. he's a boobs instead of an ass kinda guy. that's a reason why artoirel wearing buttoned and tied up shirts gets him like nothing else, especially when he reveals his collarbones lmao he's ready to just sit him down and tear that shirt off him, it's that bad. chest hickeys? hell yes.

17. how satisfactory has their sex life been thus far?

cass: what sex life?? before the gala, he had no action whatsoever. he's not the one for hookups, and his relationship with senna fell apart years before the spire fell, so between the breakup and the gala, he literally didn't sleep with anyone. it's not even a dry spell, it's a desert. not even a single making out session, too. blame it on being a hopeless romantic + anxiety around sex in general which forces him to only seek it in the context of romantic relationships (aside from that hookup with mel that will turn into romance, but atm, is just that, a one night stand.)

nika: okay-ish? he did pine for minfilia for several years, during which no sex was happening whatsoever, but after she died, he went for a little, for lack of a better term, hoe phase. maybe to help process his feelings, maybe because he was finally free of any obligations to minfilia in that way to pursue other people, even if only sexually? he had lyse, hilda, estinien. he also slept with artoirel, but that's the start of their relationship proper.

i will say, however, that his sex life so far has been following well established norms and conventions, and that does work sometimes, but he hasn't really given himself any room to explore a large chunk of his sexuality, starting with the very fact that he is bisexual. it takes him a hot second to figure out that he's a switch, to extend his service kink in a way that leaves him to be more vulnerable and not just the giver.

(side note, nika's one of those people who thought for a long time that all guys were a little gay for their homies. that it's very heterosexual man behavior to want to suck your bro's dick. it makes me giggle every time, like, dude. you're fine, but you are not heterosexual.)

tl;dr it's been fine but it's only now starting to live up to its full potential

#ask game #cassander inteus #nika perseis #differences in their sex lives jesus ahhahahhaha

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icharchivist · 4 months

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I've got it, actually

So the Brofam is hanging out as usual when they see Yngwie with a lady on his arm and they wonder about how he does it, constantly pulling hot chicks. So they go and ask him about it and he tells them about how it's important to treat the woman you're with like the center of the world, make her feel like she's the only one. The woman is already swooning in his arms. But, Yngwie continues with a laugh, it doesn't hurt your chances to be a famous skyfarer. But the boys are skyfarers as well, so they should be fine

They ponder this for a bit, but figure just being members of a crew isn't really doing the trick, especially a crew so ripe with hunks and honeys and that's it, isn't it? They're just gonna ask the most popular guys they know about how they do it

Tomoi points out that Bubs is insanely popular, but the bros realize that there's no way in hell that they can manage to scale the tower of Babyl and ask the guy for advice. Besides, he's likely gonna tell them something to the effect of "The only thing that matters in this world is muscle; you either get strong or perish like an insect, spineless and weak". Tomoi is immediately sold, but Lowain is opposed to getting super macho and Elsam points out that it takes forever to get yolked. So back to square one

They ask the Dragon Knights, since those guys are popular, but they all basically tell them to just do what they think is right, stand up for their people and their ideals. They're very encouraging though. Even Percy

Then they hit up Sandalphon, because c'mon, but he's not super thrilled about being asked that and snarks that "it helps to have a job"

Lowain insists they ask Poseidon for his advice, since he's the hunkiest of hunks, but Poseidon isn't interested in chicks, so he's not thrilled

At the end of the day, the boys wind up in a café, none the wiser. Who else do they know who pulls mad chicks by the boatload?

And that's how they end up with Belial

They fantasize about copying his style, going full Malevolent Alter Ego, and having him around to coach them, but quickly realize that it doesn't help to be sluttily dressed in black leather and constantly spouting innuendo, that's only gonna get you slapped

Suddenly Belial leans in and points out that perhaps getting chicks isn't the problem so much as keeping chicks. The bros admit to not being confident in their skills and Belial, without missing a beat, offers to coach them on that, too. So why don't they get started by practicing kissing? With him? Right now? He promises to be gentle ~

That jolts the boys out of their fantasy because they're not entirely sure where that suggestion came from, who came up with it and what to make of it, so they sit in awkward silence for a few moments before changing the subject and talking about something else. Can't catch me, gay thoughts

Meanwhile a few rows down sits a man, sluttily dressed in black leather, grinning ominously into his ice cream soda

But hey, if they don't want his help, he's not gonna make them

And so the Brofam ends up learning an important lesson and yet nothing at all

I feel like i just got an event dropped in my inbox. Everything just flows together perfectly like an event what the hell

It's also extremely in character and likely, i love it. You're so right this is exactly how it would play out

Im wheezing so hard tho it really is perfect oh my god thank you

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous #the writers here are unhinged im so lucky

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cishetamine · 1 year

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the worst person in the world (2021) letterboxd review (already crossposted this to twt but reposting here for………'research'[you'll see)]

funny how i originally thought this movie was adapted from a novel even BEFORE a major character contracted a terminal illness (aka like one of the most common things that can happen to a character in a Realistic Fiction Novel, right after infidelity). it just has that MFA vibe!

this movie feels like a deceptive advertisement for living in norway. isn't it mostly cold there ? (update: i have looked up the average winter monthly temperatures in oslo & theyre actually pretty much the same as where i live. whooops!!)

the music in this is good when it’s good & rly annoying when it’s not

hilarious and insane that norway’s indie comics scene is (or is at least depicted as being) exactly the same as in the US—i.e., dominated by edgy cishet dudes all too willing to use mere shock factor as an excuse for originality

like…he has characters whose names are translated as “Dick Wolf Dick” & “Pedo the Parrot” which, come ON but also that literally is what these guys are like……like. So true besty

& yet ! i also can't help but sympathize w/ the comic boyfriend re: the Great Endless Cancel Culture Debate bc ppl have also told me stuff like, “i hate all the people in your comics”

which like! Fair, i don't intend for my characters to be Nice People (well ok some of them are well-intentioned but also kinda hopeless/lost causes)

but also the bf (well, ex-bf—in more ways than 1!!) is exactly right—comics are where i put all the horrible thoughts in my brain that i can’t exorcize by any other means!

love that she shares my hobby of “lying to strangers at parties”……she’s so cool

this movie has a lot of fun little moments that feel pointily realistic: (e.g.: getting interrupted repeatedly while fooling around w/ someone at a party bc you’ve decided to canoodle one another in the Designated Bed Where Everyone Puts Their {Admittedly Extremely Soft + Sensual} Coats, and now everyone is coming to get their jackets & keeps walking in on u while you're trying to snog)

^ another such moment: when her dad says that the link to the libfem girlpower-vibes sex article she wrote doesn’t work, & it’s up to us to decide if there’s actually an issue with his phone or he was just being squeamish abt sex

i wouldn’t call these "wow just like irl lmao" moments exactly the same as the ones in a coen bros movie, but they’re similar imo ? like, those are always my favorite things abt their films (the violence is fine but usually kind of boring to me at this point. like, okay, he has a gun, great. can we bring back the wood chipper? no, too expensive? well how about the cattle stunner thingy, do you still have that thingamajig laying around?)

nah i'm talking like, the way they make the pauses in an ordinary conversation as awkwardly real as possible. ofc when they do it it's often bc there's some sort of double entendre[not necessarily sexual] going on, like w/ the confusion re: the kidnapping in fargo or the student trying to cheat in a serious man. but lebowski has a lot of fun realistic conversationy stuff that's just plain weird, which i guess i'm comparing this more to?

wait. Holy shit. is it at all true that “most women don’t like giving blowjobs”!?!?!?!? Like What the FUCK. is this a straight vs gay thing??? i don’t get it……what could turn u on more than being good at making yr partner cum??? (ok well i can think of several things actually but literally why are u having sex w/ someone unless it’s mutually enjoyable i——???? honestly this was maybe the least believable part of the movie 4 me :// can straight women PLEASE weigh in on thisPLEAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!)

re: “they’ve housebroken bobcat” I HAVE TO KNOW whether the bit abt removing the cartoon cat’s butthole was in response to CATS (2019).

this movie feels like propaganda from the norwegian board of tourism. case in point: basically all of the action happens in summer. also, that scene where she runs outside and the world is frozen in time feels kinda like an ad. sorry if my brain has been broken by america superb owl commercial culture :(

it’s fascinating to see a film that’s so contemporary & relatable but also not quite my own life??? kinda like the gaggle of cishet-presenting girls i saw on the train recently—bc i was aware of most of the celebrity gossip & news stuff they were talking abt, but i still came away feeling like i inhabit a very different—albeit parallel—world from them. for more context, here is my best try at a transcript of their convo: www.tumblr.com/cishetamine/701574180800479232/lily-rose-depp-they-were-calling-her-a-nepo

(p.s. please don't get mad at me for snooping on strangers, i'm just one of many credulous clods who once heard that u can get better at writing by transcribing how ppl really talk. & from there i got obsessed w/ doing this whenever someone is having an interesting convo near me. also most importantly, i didn't write down any personally identifying info & also these ppl are totally anonymous anyway. so plz enjoy @ yr leisure!)

love how this dude reminisces abt being a Record Store / Video Store / Comic Store guy !!! i.e., he’s an alt bro!!! love that for him. it's so cute that norway has hipsters too<3 squee!

also luv how "i just took a dna test turns out / i'm 3.1% sami" is the norwegian equivalent of “my great grandmother was a cherokee princess” cosplaying indigeneity

^ overall tho, the extinction rebellion-core gf feels kinda way too flat & one-note……but also i literally know ppl who are like that!! like i've had friends who were into radical veganism + environmentalism & it did seem kind of culty……which is not to say that ppl shouldn't be vegan or environmentalist, of course! but i have absolutely seen it turn into Unhealthy Polycule Drama & we've just seen where that leads, cough FTX / EAs, cough

no but it’s fascinating how this depiction of norwegian ~radical~ environmentalism compares to the scene in the US. for instance i feel like i’ve never heard an american state that they chose not to fly across the ocean bc it would increase their carbon footpri——wait no actually yes i have heard this, but specifically in the context of academic conferences, never like, regarding travel for fun. Interesting difference here!

(^ also, those were basically only professors on twitter who were saying that, not ppl i know in real life. so another level of remove from me)

[meanwhile i would chop off one of my less-important fingers in exchange for being able to fly across the ocean, environment be damned] [anyway tbh i figure it wouldn’t be thaaaaaat evil so long as i was able to stay in that other country for at least several months, as opposed to business travelers who frequently fly back & forth. but i would want to stay bc i would be desperate to learn the language!

which language, you ask? why, my answer is—Yes!]

anyway enough feeling sorry for myself for not being rich. time to feel sorry for imaginary movie ppl instead!

“i don’t want to be the sensible choice while she’s the sexy one” damn that makes a lot of sense! i definitely feel that re: pressure to be Exciting & Spontaneous & Ever-Flexible so that ppl will find u attractive / alluring instead of setting boundaries (given the choice between setting a boundary vs having sex with someone hot, i will almost always choose the latte——ah, but you see, posting this in a public forum where people i've had sex with can read it is itself an act of performati——

So about the main character. We don’t get much interiority of her, like aside from the stuff at the beginning abt her various major + career changes, we don't get to hear directly the thoughts she is thinking—not just bc we don't hear much in the way of interior monologue, but also bc she doesn't explain herself to the ppl around her.

like, she didn't tell her then-bf that there was in fact another guy—which like, honestly, if i were in her situation, i might also take the coward's route! especially if she feared jealous retribution from her current bf. but we don't know if she fears that, bc we never see her talk to her FRIENDS, bc for all we know, she doesn't have any!!!!

which feels very……hard for me to believe? bc i have never met a woman who did not have Friends. (& supposedly guys tend to have fewer pals, but even they usually seem to at least have like, Gamer Buds, idk! i know i always did back when i was a Gamer in high school, even if i was kinda withdrawn irl.)

so i'm left wondering—are we supposed to see her as genuinely friendless? & if so, what does that say abt her?

or are we just supposed to assume that the movie doesn't want to show her friends? if that's the case, why would it make that decision??

if we as viewers are supposed to actually believe that she doesn't have friends that she can confide in whom she is not romantically involved with……it rly paints a very specific (& melancholy!) picture of her as a person. bc that's a stereotype i mostly associate w/ Isolated Guys, but yet she is not that! (i would like to be her friend & talk abt photography..)

still not sure how i feel abt the freeze-time gimmick. Like on the 1 hand—it’s giving crazy ex girlfriend tv show. But also………idk it looks kinda cool regardless!

between this & tár, i feel sooo…………something abt watching 2 movies in a short timespan that contain Bitingly Contemporary Cancellation Scenes, & also cell phones………i………hmm.

thinking abt gretchen from twitter, a noble woman fighting for a just cause (telling adult YA fans to get a life), yet whose ratioing ultimately feels sorta pyrrhic to me, such that i have to wonder if it's worth the stress it presumably causes her.

but also, i am much more of a wimp than many people! for instance, a lot of ppl are strong tough athletes who put themselves thru a lot of pain because they find it enjoyable overall! whereas personally i only do exercise when i can convince myself that it's fun (e.g., biking places, swimming in water that isn't freezing cold)

so what i'm saying is perhaps gretchen sees being a Culture Warrior as a noble pursuit &/or lives for the thrill of the takedown, whereas i'm probably conflict-averse to a fault. (also, on a materialist level, she gets plenty of publicity for fighting the good fight—& as an author, building an audience is pretty crucial to keeping the lights on!)

anyway, right—the reason i'm thinking abt her at all in the context of this film is bc of the Cancel Culture Scene. bc i'm sympathetic to both the comics artist himself as well as his critics—bc like gretchen & her supporters always say, i believe artists have the right to be messy & sexual & graphic & painful & problematic & difficult to untangle……both bc i prefer to consume art (like this movie!) that fits that description, & bc that's ultimately the kind of work i would like to create.

but what's weird abt the tv interview in the gym in this movie is that we don't really even get to see exactly what the feminists debating the comics boyfriend are actually mad at him about. it's all vague—probably bc the point isn't the debate itself so much as its effect on his ex-gf! (& we know this bc the camera spends hella time tracking her facial reactions throughout this scene, as opposed to focusing primarily on the ex-boyfriend being interviewed.)

(btw for the record, i've read some of gretchen's writing but not a huge amount, & i think she's quite talented at describing compelling visual scenes, but i do worry that some of her political commentary is just so on-the-nose that it isn't as funny as it wants to be?

like, sure, i hate raytheon tenderqueers as much as any Good Leftoid! obviously imperialist militaries are evil & should be systematically dismantled, & it's sickening seeing the cynical liberal war machine attempt to suck us gays into its awful whirling gears.

but—as we saw with countless lib comedians attempting to parody trump—just bc you're making fun of something genuinely bad, doesn't mean your jokes are automagically hilarious!)

oh right, i was building toward something—namely: it feels like there's 3 sides in the big Cancel Culture Debate these days:

(mostly but not solely) christian right-wingers who hate the gays

young people who ummm [takes a full minute to check something on my phone] believe barnes & noble should sort books by tone indicator & who think fujoshis will trigger the third impact

cool edgy trans ppl caught in the middle of these 2 groups, martyred like that one saint mishima used to jack off to & permitted to do any crime so long as it is judged as being sufficiently badass by the Council of Trans Elders

anyway i was just gonna say: you know how sun tzu art of war has that thing abt how u should make your enemies fight each other instead of u fighting on 2 sides at once?

yeah, i think we should come up with a new discourse designed to do exactly that. or maybe get the evangelicals & catholics to fight again over whether asexual priests are valid or if they have to be volcel to really count. hopefully they'll wear themselves out, & our[if i may be so bold as to number myself among the Edgy Trans] troops of keyboard warriors will be able to reenter the fray refreshed to fight another day!

#letterboxd #movie thots #the worst person in the world #informal poll #reposting this here bc i want as large of a sample size as possible for the BJ question

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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year

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I always feel like a shade awkward about these conversations because like. I'm not aspec, and I am bi. So on the one hand no, I don't get the microaggressions of people assuming romantic intent the way that ace people do - but I do get a different axis, as like, am I supposed to just never have friends since I could be equally romantically interested in anyone, theoretically. And I have definitely had an intense, platonic friendship that is on a par with what people describe as "obviously romantic" in media. (And one bizarre argument with an aspec person who I think was lashing out because of anger who told me that I wouldn't have let the friendship end if I was ace and didn't "abandon him for romance" -- I probably would have written this off as a rude person lashing out but it really stung deep because bro, he DIED). But at the same time, I've been popping in and out of fandom long enough that I have a really negative gut reaction to the "let people just be friends" line because I remember when that line was almost exclusively levied out of outright homophobia, so sometimes I can't help but bristle a little at arguments that lean in that direction. It's weird to see people using those arguments in support of something that frankly I completely agree with when I also remember people using that in support of how an Oscar Wilde-collecting, discreet gentleman's club-going, romantically unattached, "probably a [slur]" is definitely not under any circumstances interested in men except as friendship. Or that the quasiromantic relationship between two young men at college was definitely platonic even though it was known to be based on the extremely not platonic relationships the author had with other men at college. Like, I agree that canon doesn't support a romantic read of [insert ship here] but it makes me feel weird that people use the same arguments about something where like, if you don't see a queer lens you've got your eyes closed. And it isn't wrong to use that lens - because it's correct in this case!! It's just a weird position to be in.

I do understand where you're coming from, anon, and I've actually tried to find alternative ways to phrase arguments to avoid this but I just... haven't come up with any.

What's frustrating is when you're dealing with a non-canon ship, where definitionally there is a non-romantic reading, and shippers continue to insist there is no non-romantic reading. If they just said "here is my romantic interpretation" it would be fine! But no one ever does that, because fandom runs on hyperbole. (Which I don't like even for ships I do ship, because it loses its edge from overuse.)

For me, as a lesbian, being able to have close platonic friendships with other women without the assumption that I have sexual or romantic intentions is really important. I grew up around the "you're gay?? ew don't hit on me!" flavor of homophobia so it really hits home. And sometimes it stings to see something I have done or would do for a friend show up in fiction and then be called "obviously romantic" by a bunch of people.

Sometimes people being friends actually is just more interesting to me and to other people. How are we supposed to talk about it?

The best I've been able to come up with is people can use context clues to tell that we're not being homophobic.

Also, while I'm very aware of "just let them be friends" being used as cover for homophobia, not shipping a gay ship is not in and of itself homophobia no matter what, even if you're straight.

If you have an alternative way of saying "I see this particular relationship as platonic and I'm uncomfortable with the insistence these interactions have to be romantic" I'd love to hear it.

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hyperrealisticblood · 29 days

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can i say marios madness for the fandom one is that allowed

okay hopefully this one will be shorter and i wont write twenty billion words. funny scary mario mod

favorite character: its a tie between dj hallyboo and mx for me. hallyboo has been my blorbo in law for years now so i already liked him as a character before the mod dropped and people actually started giving a fuck about him. mx is just neat :]

least favorite character: why the fuck is racist mario here. girl go home (second place is chris pratt if he even counts)

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): (skipping this one because i cant think of five ships sorry </3)

character i find most attractive: i would let mx do the most heinous shit to me like im not even fucking joking. when i saw powerdown v2 for the first time and i saw how fucking massive i was something fundamental changed inside of my mind. i am moving on before i say something that gets this blog taken down

character i would marry: uh. somari seems the least likely to kill me so i guess him!!!

character i would be best friends with: see above

a random thought: i will never understand why sm64 classified got three songs. like im sure its a fine series but youre telling me we got a second song about luigi in mario 64 and not victim 01. fuck off

an unpopular opinion: i dont think anyone who follows this blog is trapped in funkin discourse purgatory like i am (for the love of god please help me) but when the mod came out there was a lot of debate surrounding the fact that boyfriend expresses things like fear and anger in various songs. for those not in the know (KEEP IT THAT WAY) in canon funkin the reason given that bf and gf are never scared of the enemies is that "theyre too stupid to be afraid". i already dont like that because it makes them boring as fuck so i dont mind mm deviating from that at all. could you imagine mm if bf and gf were just sat there making their fucking free roblox cosmetic ass expressions for two hours. i would have committed higurashi fingernail scene

my canon OTP: grand dad and somari canonically being married is soooo swag

non-canon OTP: i mean its vaguely canon on one side because of pasta night but shinto/coronation peach is :]

most badass character: devil mario stinks so bad of "2000s edgy deviantart oc" and i fuck with it heavy

pairing i am not a fan of: mx/coronation peach :( that is a lesbian and a gay man to me lmao

character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i cant really think of any?? i think the art in day out is scuffed as fuck but i dont think that counts

favorite friendship: i miss mx and lord x being bros so bad....... like i wouldnt mind if it just wasnt canon anymore but the fact that its also banned as a fanon thing really sucks :(

anyways sorry for talking about friday night funkin. i will absolutely do it again

#horrorbrew

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kaitiedidslibrary · 11 months

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Book 22

Oooh boy. Is this one of those tongue in cheek books making fun of itself? It didn't feel like it. It was just... awful.

How does this have mostly three and four stars. Are you all lying to me.

So I started this at the end of April. It took me almost two months to get through it because I hated it so much. But Unfortunately it was a gift.

First person is immediately a turn-off, but I preservered.

The plot is teen influencers get murdered, I guess. Several tiktokers get invited to an early-access weekend at a Gothic amusement park. There's a storm coming and people are dying. But first you have to get through So. Much. Bullshit exposition where everyone is just annoyingly stereotypical and flat and cringe.

I had to make a reference list at first, since I couldn't keep every one of the cardboard cutout stereotypes straight. It's like the author scrolled tiktok and made characters based off the first five-ish videos.

We have Paisley (true crime MC), Ava (makeup bitch), Liam (gamer jock- couldn't make two characters, the gamer wouldn't have been hot on his own), James (movie critic bro), Harper (Booktok), and Will (makeup bitch, but make him a gay guy who's nicer).

Then there's Malcom, the rich weirdo Dracula knockoff. There's a couple other characters, but there's nothing to them. They're there to be the NPCs, and the guys are there to be hot for the MC to swoon over and show off for.

"My name is Paisley and I'm a rich white girl who's Different because I like death and I have so~ many followers. I'm not like ~other~ white girl influencers because my family wasn't rich to start and I'm just good at everything I try UwU"

"I'm so different and awkward but every guy is flirting with me but they're all hot so I'm ~blushing~ omg so awkward of me"

I hated the main character and reading from her perspective.

Why is there so much product placement. Seriously:

And that's just on that page.

The sad things is there would be sections were it would be interesting, and then Paisley would say something insufferable, and throw the whole thing off.

And I know they're teenagers, and teenagers do stupid shit, but you can't tell me the adult would be totally fine with her running out into the storm to find some guy with no idea where he is with an active murderer on the loose.

The other issue I have is that there is so much telling. You don't have a moment to make your own judgments of the characters, or react to them at all before the author tells you how to feel about them.

It did get slightly better towards the middle, because the action kept the insufferable scenes from dragging, but not by much. It was frustrating. There'd be a chase sequence that kicked the story off the ground, and then it was "we need to find and destroy that jammer and call for help", but that would immediately get sidelined because clearly it's more important to change your clothes first. It's very important for the reader to know she's wearing yoga pants while they're running from a serial murderer.

The ending just. Hm. How do I put this. The motive for the killer was a little meh. Like the "I guess" meme. But the ✨surprise twist✨ felt so much like just a "gotcha!" moment. I'm sure if I had the motivation to reread it, I would catch some clumsy foreshadowing that I mistook for bad writing, but I literally don't care.

And the ending felt like a Goosebumps ending. If you were a Goosebumps kid, I'm sure you can guess exactly what happens.

Overall, it was just frustrating and flat. You can't hold it to any degree of logic. I guess if you want to turn off your brain and mindlessly enjoy a thriller, this would be the one. But get used to the "but you just said-" feeling. ://

I'd give it one and a half stars if I were feeling generous, but I'm not.

⭐

#2023 reading challenge #The Island #book review

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desolindistress · 1 year

Text

little rant about my bf & his frat

ask me to things, and i say no. the way you respond i can tell you're annoyed. no i'm not going clubbing with the frat, no i'm not coming to smoke. bail on the weekends, claim i'm busy on the weekdays. (most of the time, though, i don't need to. you're always too busy for me anyways.) every time you mention the frat i feel like i'm facing an opponent and i run the other way, terrified. and why shouldn't i? those are not my people, and you, my boyfriend, prioritize them over me. i'm okay with that (swallow down bitterness with the truth of it, the way we talked it over fall quarter), but how dare you get annoyed at me for not joining your lifestyle or not hanging out with your frat? all the shit i put up with from you, because your choice your life, yet you offer me none of the same compassion. "i need to get you into drugs," you said. why?

pretend pretend pretend you do not hurt me. pretend pretend pretend, as you put your arms around me kiss me say "i'm sorry" as you come back, your friends giggling because you fake-kissed the delivery person. "i didn't do anything!" you say, still laughing. and you and your many boyfriends. "i'm homiesexual." "jorge finished me off." "i'm going to make out with max tonight." i laugh, but at a certain point, the jokes get repetitive and annoying. and you seem to have no problem making them after fucking me. you seem to think that being straight gives you a pass every time you make gay jokes. i love you i love you i love you, we are sacred, words like poison spilling out of your mouth. you are unbelievable. "i'm sorry." no you're not. "it's just funny." to who? i watch paris cuddle with her boyfriend and feel a twinge of jealousy at how they team up, how he listens to her, how she whispers in his ear. we never do that.

i've given up asking you to magic or steel bridge. given up asking you, staring across the room at brody, texting darryl more than i want to, feeling more myself around jason than you, trying not to stare at the blue-haired boy in my calc class. i try not to wonder at how other people make more space and time for me than you. i think about breaking up with you more often than i think about dating you. i hate myself for it, hate you more, wake up sweating from a dream about cheating on you just for the sake of hurting you the way i'm hurting. the guilt washes away more quickly than the lingering desire for someone else. the way you hurt me, unintentionally, and will never know you do because i will never tell you. because selflessly, i will never make you choose me over anything. i'm not a pushover. i have boundaries. but i live with the consequences, including your irritability and frustration. you inspire my anger.

we are fine on the surface. we have no issues, right? no arguments. "communicate. please." i don't want to. "it's irrational"... you forget yourself. tell me that again, walking home alone late at night because someone you trusted was too inebriated, left you in the corner, got handsy with some girl upstairs. tell me that again, with 9 inches removed from your height and at half your strength. you should know all too well how men can change faces. everyone knows their frat bros like family until one of them rapes a girl. "we don't do that shit" and "he would never do that" and "i know him, that's just not him" comes out the mouth of every goddamn boy i've met. you think you're so different? god, for the person you are, you can still be so naïve sometimes.

have fun, is all i can tell you. stay safe. because i want you to come home to me, at the end of the day. because i love you, so much so that it takes over my body like the blood washing through my veins. and i can never stay mad at you, as much as i want to. i can never let go of you, even when i dream about it. i put up with it all- "you're going to have to come to the frat house to visit me this quarter" and "i want to see you even if we're just studying together." i could be hanging out with someone else. i'd probably be having more fun, doing something i actually enjoy. instead, i see you on your schedule and not mine. i do what you want to and am out of ideas when you ask me what i want, because i already know you don't have the patience for lying still on the grass next to me, staring at the sunset. i would do that with someone else. maybe i will. maybe i already have.

the point is, i have no problem doing what i enjoy with other people and not trying to drag you into it. but your disappointment and irritation at me when i ask you to do the same hurts. i already try, babe, can't you see that? i went to the party. i'm coming to visit you at the frat house if you want. i would be down to hang out with the frat if it was nearby, say hi to them when you talk to them in the dining hall. why are you still so frustrated at me? why do you ask more from me? when i am already trying my best, why is it not enough? i never ask more from you.

last night i wrote about wanting to spend my birthday in privacy with you. i wrote about how much i miss you and love spending time with you. i wrote about the second time we met up, how i got butterflies looking up into your eyes. but in daylight, analyzing your reaction as i decline yet another invitation, i'm starting to feel like maybe i want to spend my birthday with someone else. darryl, or jason, or somebody. someone who has asked me to hang out on my time and enjoys it. someone who could lay in the grass and stare at the sunset with me. someone who dances on street corners when i do, touches glowing lights like me, interacts with my shadow and takes interest in what i do. yes, someone like darryl and not you.

i don't know yet. i feel at the precipice of some breakthrough, and i refuse to make it yet because i want to enjoy the idea of you, stunning and perfect, a little bit longer. i told you that the guys i hang out with aren't threats to you. and i mean it. i don't feel anything like what i feel for you around them. but sometimes, they are the only people i feel like i can be anything close to myself around. sometimes, they are my only escape from you.

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average-tennis-ball-enthusiast · 1 year

Text

recent happenings

tw: rant

so i just kinda realized something huge about what's been happening in my life. i was in a group at my school with 7 or 8 people, most of whom in the same grade as me. and throughout the latter part of 2021 through basically all of 2022, i was friends with them, and would do things with them. after i built up my trust with them, i would start hanging out with them outside school, and we all had a good time. now here's the thing: most of them are neurotypical. which meant, as an asexual nd cisgender guy, i never really got some of what they would do. but i would do my best to listen and to understand. everything was all good and dandy until around mid-to-late october. now granted, i was in a bit of a downward mental health spiral then, considering a handful of hard things happening then, but i would reach out to them and offer to take them places, and they would accept, right? i took a group of myself and 3 others to mcdonald's, and paid for everyone (which was about $23), and i didn't get much in return. i let it go because it was my treat. i took one of them to wendy's to get food because he was hungry before band practice, didn't get ANYTHING back. i also took him to walmart, stopping at dutch bros along the way, my treat. only paid for my drink because thankfully dutch bros is awesome and makes drinks for both people if only one can pay, and only makes them pay for the one drink. but at the same time, i was using my own car, my own gas, and my own money to do these things. i wanted to wait to tell the entire group that i was beginning to expect some form of compensation in return, but i felt like that time never came. i mentioned it to the same dude i took to walmart and wendy's and mcdonald's, and i'm like 98% sure that he told the rest of the group WITHOUT letting me know, and there it began. people would start picking at me, mostly those associated with the same guy i told, for a variety of things. first i'm venting without warning into the group chat (which is understandable, it can't always be dealt with), but meanwhile someone else is doing SCOT-FREE. then i'm told i can't make gay jokes around them (even though previously they appeared fine with it, and joked along with me). THEN i'm told i'm just being disrespectful, because i felt like i've just had to walk on eggshells around them because i didnt want to set them off again. then one of them had the absolute AUDACITY TO SAY THAT I DONT CARE. AFTER I ASKED THEM FOR SUPPORT, BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OF LOSING THE OTHERS' TRUST. at that point, i lost my trust in 2 of those folks, and things appeared to carry on as normal with everything else. then, new years eve, the final straw for me. about 9pm that time, it was time for the bereal, where everyone would show what they were doing. 2 of them posted AT THE EXACT SAME HOUSE OF ONE OF MY OTHER FRIENDS, AND THEY WERE HANGING OUT WITH SEVERAL OTHERS IN THE GROUP, AND DID NOT TELL ME ANYTHING. i had always had a feeling since they first started picking on me that they were conspiring against me, someway somehow. that the final fucking straw. i just up and decided to leave the group a couple days later. i no longer trusted them. i had been complacent with their shitty behavior for far too long. there was nothing left for me to salvage out of it. now it's been a week since i left the group chat, and nobody has said anything. from the glimpses of them sitting together at lunch, they seem to be carrying on just fine without me. and frankly, i couldn't give a shit anymore. part of me still wants to remain optimistic that someone would own up and apologize or at least say something, but honestly i'm losing hope of that too. i pieced it all together, and i concluded that i have been manipulated, used, and made to believe i'm a bad friend. i've wanted to just lash out at them in anger for everything, but i won't, despite me wanting to so fucking bad. i want retribution for what i've had to go through. and now i'm in the process of trying to find another group, and i really don't want to trust people anymore. it's just too tiring.

#drama #people suck holy fuck #and im so tired of this shit #why cant i just find the right people #damn #this has been going on for the past 3 months and im so tired

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