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socalwriterbee · 4 months

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Oh, Christmas Tree!

Book: Open Heart

Characters: Ethan Ramsey x Tessa Martinez (FMC)

Rating/Warning: Teen/Fluff

Word Count: 982

Summary: Ethan and Tessa's niece (Melody) are on the look out for a Christmas Tree, only to find out that the tree they are looking for his for his home.

A/N: It's been a minute since I've posted on a story on here and a few weeks ago I got this idea from a conversation about a christmas tree farm with @cariantha @txemrn and @peonierose. I hope it this is ok Cari, it got my mind going. I would also like to thank you for the little something I will be adding at the end. I absolutely love it!!

A/N 2: This was quickly edited, sorry for any errors and typos.

A/N 3: My posts will not have any tags, if you happen to stumble upon this story, Thank you for taking the time to read, like and/or share! Hope you enjoy!

Characters belong to our friends at Pixelberry!

Happy Holidays!

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

The sun sat bright in the sky, only giving some warmth to a cold December morning, the smell of pines surrounding them. Ethan found himself in search for the perfect Christmas Tree. Tessa was somewhere else with the rest of her family at a local Christmas Tree farm that was just outside the city limits. The ground crunched under his shoes as he tried to keep up with the little girl in front of him.

It wouldn’t be hard to lose sight of her they way she was dressed, black pants, shoes that lit up with each step she took paired with a ‘ugly sweater’ as Melody called it and a beanie with a white pom right on top.

Ethan knew if he did not have her in his eye sight she would turn and go off on one of her adventures, where he would call out for her and he would only hear her soft giggles when she hid from him.

Ethan sighed, he had been bested by Mel more times than he cared to admit. “Have you seen one you like?”

Melody answers him with a simple shake of her head.

What she was looking for Ethan had no clue, they passed trees he would have chosen, full, a nice shape to them, height was perfect for Talia’s family home.

They were all here when Talia mentioned to Tessa and him about doing this when they went over to her home a couple weeks ago. Tessa’s sister was trying to work around their hospital schedule, Ethan found it quite nice to be included in their family activities and memories.

He watched Melody stop in front of tree, it stood only a few inches taller than her. Ethan came to a stop next to her, looking down he saw the cold had nipped at her nose making the tip rosy.

He felt the opposite of a chill when Melody’s warm little hand settled into his. “This one Uncle Ethan.”

The words he wanted to say died on the tip of his tongue but that didn’t stop him from thinking them in his head. The tree in question was quite sad, he tilted his head to the side while he took it in, it was more branches than anything, the needles sparse.

“Mel, are you sure?” He asked, she had to be mistaken the space meant for the Christmas Tree in her family room would swallow this little runt up. “We passed by a lot more bigger ones…”

“But I like this one.”

Alright.

How was Ethan going to sell this one to Tessa and her sister, he saw a smile spread across Melody’s little face and he knew that this little tree was going home with them. He could already hear Tessa, “that little girl has you wrapped around her finger.”

“I guess we could make room for two trees in the family room.” Ethan said.

He started pulling out his phone to call Tessa, when Melody’s voice stopped him. “No, Uncle Ethan it’s for you. Auntie Tess said we could decorate a tree for you.”

Ethan tucks his phone back into his coat and drops down to the four year old’s height, sort of he was still a couple inches taller but that didn’t stop her brown eyes from locking with his. “I don’t need one, sweetheart.”

Her little arms wrapped around his neck, Ethan lets out an oomph as he balances the two of them from the force of her hug. “I don’t want you to become a grinch.”

A grinch? Tessa. Ethan shook his head before taking the little girl in his arms, balancing her as he stands them up. “I won’t become a grinch.”

“But you don’t have any Christmas decorations, how will Santa find you to leave presents.”

“Oh.” Santa, right. Ethan tickles Melody, feeling her wiggle and her infectious laugh fill the air, it’s a quick distraction, one he hopes will buy him some time to come up with something.

When she stopped laughing, Ethan turned them back to the tree in question. “You really like this one?”

Melody nods.

“There you guys are.” Ethan and Melody turn to see Tessa making her way towards them. “What did you two find?”

“Auntie.” Melody calls out, trying to wiggle out of Ethan’s arms, before she can fall, he places her down and watches her run towards her aunt.

“Did you find it Ladybug?” Tessa asks.

“Santa is going to like it aaalot.”

“Is he? Show me which one.”

Ethan watched the interaction between aunt and niece before they made their way to him and the tree he stood in front of. When they reached Ethan, he heard Tessa let out a soft laugh before she turned to him. Tessa was biting her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing even further.

Ethan leans down and places a kiss at the corner of Tessa mouth, “This has you written all over it.”

Tessa’s eyes go wide. “Me?”

“You’re the only one who calls me a grinch.” Ethan says wrapping an arms around Tessa and bringing her into him. “And you’ve been trying to get me to decorate, so you enlist a child to do your bidding.”

The two of them look out in front them, Melody skipping around Ethan’s tree singing a Christmas song he doesn’t recognize.

“Did it work?”

Ethan doesn’t answer her because Tessa already knows the answer. “This is the one Mel.”

Melody stops skipping and singing to only start jumping with excitement. “I did it Auntie Tess.”

“Yes, you did Ladybug.”

“I picked the ugliest tree like you said.”

Tessa slipped out of Ethan’s embrace before he could say anything that Melody could hear. Ethan could only laugh to himself, he had fallen once more to the mischief niece and aunt came up with.

This time it was with a little holiday spirit.

#choices open heart #ethan x tessa #choices stories you play #ethan ramsey #open heart ethan #open heart christmas

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what-gs-watching · 6 months

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“It’s Christmas time, pretty baby, and the snow is falling on the ground…”

Well, now I’m in the interview prep portion of the bootcamp thing I’m doing and y’all, I don’t loveeee trying to practice talking about my experience. I really am one of those people that just shows up and says whatever tumbles out of my mouth and that has worked, so far, mostly, I guess. But apparently now I need to really try and that is a bummer.

But it’s November, which means I have carte blanche to throw myself into the Christmas season. Gang, I love Christmas. I really do. I have a big family and it was always a fucking mess at my parents’ house but it makes me feel cozy and warm and so every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving I drag my husband to the tree farm because we have to have a real tree, and by the time we’re eating turkey, my entire house is decked out and it’s time for CHRISTMAS MOVIES.

I started this blog because I had been rambling at my engineering team at the time about my complete and utter obsession with Good Omens and I’d described my “What G’s Watching” game. One of the engineers said he’d absolutely read this trifling mess, and we had talked about Christmas movies, I forget why, and he said he could imagine curling up with a cup of tea and reading my rant on said movies. It was part of what ultimately convinced me to do this stupid thing, obviously.

So Kevin, if you’re out there, this is for you.

Welcome to my ultimate list of basic bitch Christmas movies (OTHER than the typical ones, we don’t need to talk through those do we?) you can stream this season. All previously released, because we’re gonna have to talk about the new ones as they come. You’re welcome.

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The Christmas Chronicles (2 movies, Netflix)

KURT RUSSELL is Santa and he’s caught by a brother and a sister while delivering presents and they end up going on a crazy adventure to save Christmas after something obviously goes wrong.

YOU GUYS, IT’S KURT RUSSELL AS SANTA. That should be enough for you. Because he is literally the PERFECT Santa Claus and I will defend that ‘til the end. The beard is perfect! And he plays Santa like a super cool badass! And there’s a fucking musical number!!!!!!!

The first one is better than the second one, but the second one is still fun and has GOLDIE HAWN as Mrs. Claus and it’s so cute I could literally die.

I straight up love Christmas Chronicles and I don’t care who knows it. It has the right amount of emotion and it reminds me of being a kid kind of and really, we’ve always needed a COOL santa. I have no idea why I’m so obsessed with Kurt Russell in this situation, but I really, really am. Absolutely no shame here.

WATCH IT.

A Christmas Prince (3 movies, Netflix)

A prince of a made-up country needs to return home before Christmas Eve so he can assume the throne after his father died, and a wanna-be reporter of a magazine? I think? Is assigned to cover the story. She pretends to be the new nanny for the family and OBVIOUSLY hijinks ensue. Obviously.

Y’all, there are three movies in this series. They made THREE of them. And they’re all ridiculous. But also kinda charming. Like, something to put on while you wrap presents and then you find yourself, like, halfway through the second one and you’re like “well I’m here now, might as well get through the entire thing, I weirdly need to know how this ends.”

It’s pure fluff. It’s a perfect Hallmark-esque situation, but better than the Hallmark movies because the heroine doesn’t actually need to give up anything for love like Hallmark always makes them do. Like, girl, why can’t you have a career while your husband does XYZ small-town job? WHY NOT BOTH.

The point is, ya girl likes a happy ending. All of these have a happy ending. Everything on this list will have a happy ending.

Let It Snow (Netflix)

It snows on Christmas Eve and a group of kids in a small town, including a pop star for some reason, deal with that, and their issues, and it builds to a big ol’ party.

This one is way better than it sounds. There is an adorable queer relationship, and two friends figuring out they’re in love, and one girl realizing she should go away to college because she can’t just stay and shoulder all the issues her family has, and friends prioritizing their friendship, and Joan Cusack playing the town’s crazy lady.

I’m clearly still like 17 at heart so I enjoy a good ‘random teens figuring shit out’ movie. It’s just cute as hell.

Holidate (Netflix)

Emma Roberts hates holidays because her boyfriend broke up with her so while she returns shitty Christmas presents she meets a dude who agrees to be her random ‘date’ for all of the holidays that year.

Okay, this is not strictly a Christmas movie but it starts and ends at Christmas, and it’s fucking hilarious. This is not for kids, but oh my god, I laughed way more than I expected to. And the dude is Australian which is sooo up my alley, and of course the point is that they randomly end up falling for each other and sometimes I need a good romance that is kind of, sort of realistic (in how awkward it gets at times) even if the premise is ridiculous.

Like, if you wanna get drunk on some wine with some adults that are not easily offended after the kids are in bed, this is the one.

Single All The Way (Netflix)

A guy doesn’t want to go home for the holidays because his family is gonna be judgmental about his taste in dudes and the fact that he’s perpetually single, so he drags his roommate along for the ride.

Y’all. This is just a really, really adorable love story. No bullshit tricks, no stupid plot, just two friends falling in love.

I very clearly love boys falling in love, and this one is sweet as hell. Also, it’s got Jennifer Coolidge as the crazy aunt! And Kathy Najimy! The family is hilarious and the boys are relatable and of course there’s a point where the main character is set up with a super hottie but like, they figure it out eventually. And not in a stupid, cheesy movie way. It just feels really cozy.

This was hands down my absolute favorite the year it came out. Hard recommend.

Spirited (Apple TV)

A re-telling (kind of?) of a Christmas Carol, but make it a musical with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds.

Okay I’m gonna admit it: this one is so WEIRD! It absolutely did NOT need to be a musical whatsoever but I could not look away. I will watch anything with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds though, and it was funny. And I did not expect the twist they worked in.

Do you have two hours to be strangely pulled into this and then feel weird ways about stuff? You should. This year, I’m gonna eat a gummie first. It’ll be worth it.

Zoey's Extraordinary Christmas (Roku Channel with ads, but it’s not horrible)

A woman who’s gained the power to see/learn people’s emotions through witnessing them do elaborate musical numbers, has an unsettling family christmas.

Hear me out on this one. I was absolutely obsessed with Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (it’s on Peacock; go watch it, like, right now. Immediately). It was such a ridiculous concept for a show but it was really so effing charming. And heartwarming, and also heartbreaking. If you haven’t seen the show, the Christmas movie is not going to be as emotional for you, but it’s still extremely cute. The pageantry! The musical numbers! The family dynamics!

I’ll admit this is niche as hell, but Zoey is my bish and I will tell anyone who will listen they should watch. I miss that show terribly.

Somewhat Honorable Mentions

Netflix did two random movies last year that I did watch: Christmas with You, starring Freddie Prinze Jr (!!!!!!) and Falling for Christmas with Lindsay Lohan.

Listen, I support random actors I have loved since I was a kid doing Christmas movies. Especially since they haven’t gotten up to a whole lot else. I want Lindsay Lohan to figure her fucking life out, because I can’t let go of Mean Girls or The Parent Trap. She could have been a whole damn thing and I’m sad about how things went for her and I just want her to be okay, you guys.

Is her Christmas movie mostly terrible? Yes. But it’s good background noise, just like Freddie Prinze Jr’s, and I want them both to keep doing things. So watch them while you’re cleaning the house, because why not?

______

Because I literally have all of the time in the world on my hands, I’ll probably watch almost all of these, and my favorite old standards too.

I’ll save Elf and A Muppet’s Christmas Carol to watch with my little nephews when I head home. We’ll do the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve as a weirdo family. I’ll put on White Christmas while I get the tree decorated and I’ll be singing ‘when I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep..’ for days. I’ll put on The Holiday in between Christmas and New Year’s because I am very much Kate Winslet in that movie, always the best friend, never the leading lady. I might be able to tempt my Christmas-avoidant husband into Home Alone.

The point is, Christmas movies are such a wonderful and ridiculous genre of content. Because let’s be honest, no one’s holiday season is ever like that. No one, in the history of the world, has Christmases like they do in these ridiculous movies. But it’s nice to pretend. It’s nice to get that warm fuzzy feeling, it’s nice to imagine having the perfect decorations, or a crazy adventure, or a surprising romance. Because we all know, winter is bleak. It’s dark at 4:30 in the afternoon and it’s sludgy and wet and gray and unappealing. But it’s never that in Christmas movies - it’s always magical and exciting and twinkly. And we all deserve something magical and exciting and twinkly. At least until we can make it out of the dark.

So, stream it all, y’all, it’s that time of year.

#what g's watching #christmas chronicles #christmas movies #comfort movies #zoey's extraordinary playlist #spirited 2022 #a christmas prince #merry christmas

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jensen-ackles-girl · 4 months

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It's here, my third Christmas drabble! Wanted to write something that involved the holiday season since it's December.

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this.

Summary: baking Christmas cookies with your husband then letting your three children jj,Zeppelin,and arrow decorate them with icing and sprinkles as you supervise them as soft Christmas music plays in the background.

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff,cuteness overload

Pairing: jensen Ackles x fem!reader, Ackles children x fem!reader, jensen Ackles x Ackles children, daddy!jensen, Mommy!y/n

Y/N and Jensen Ackles had always cherished the holiday season. The couple was looking forward to spending quality time together as a family, enjoying the Christmas festivities with their three beautiful children, JJ, Zeppelin, and Arrow. Little did Y/N know that Jensen had a special surprise planned for this year. On a cold December morning, Y/N woke up to find her husband Jensen missing from the bed. Curiosity piqued, she headed downstairs, where the delicious aroma of holiday treats wafted through the air. She followed the scent into the kitchen and found Jensen adorned in a festive apron, baking up a storm.

With a mischievous grin, Jensen revealed his surprise plan: a day of fun-filled Christmas activities for the family. The first order of the day was baking cookies to decorate later. Y/N couldn't help but giggle as the kitchen transformed into a sweet-filled wonderland, with flour and sugar covering the countertops. Once the delicious cookies were baked and cooled, the Ackles family gathered around the dining table, armed with gleaming icing tubes and an array of colorful sprinkles. Laughter echoed throughout the room as they transformed the plain cookies into edible works of art. JJ, Zeppelin, and Arrow's giggles filled Y/N's heart with joy.

The family's next adventure was a trip to the local tree farm to pick the perfect Christmas tree. Bundled up in their warmest winter gear, Y/N and Jensen held hands, leading their excited little ones through the snow-covered fields. Among rows of beautiful evergreens, they found the most splendid tree, its branches seemingly reaching out to embrace them. Back at home, they spent the evening drinking hot cocoa while meticulously stringing twinkling lights around every branch of the tree. The house filled with a warm, inviting glow, reflecting the love and happiness that enveloped the family. The children's eyes glittered with excitement, and Y/ N's heart swelled with gratitude for the life they had created together.

The following day, Y/N and Jensen decided to venture out into the winter wonderland for a family snowball fight. Bundled up in their warmest clothes, they traipsed through the snow-covered park, laughing and playfully throwing snow at each other. The children's laughter was infectious as they eagerly participated in the frosty battle. The kids laughing with joy as they threw snowballs at their parents and each other. And as the day continued they added more fun-filled things to do, they headed to the local ice skating rink. Y/N watched with pride as Jensen effortlessly glided across the ice, guiding their children around as they giggled and stumbled. The joy on their faces was priceless. Y/ N, determined to keep up, laughed as she clung tightly to the railing, wobbling her way around the rink.

As the day turned into night, Y/N and Jensen gathered their little ones close to the fireplace, wrapped in cozy blankets. They shared stories of Christmas miracles and sang carols together. The room was filled with love, harmonies, and a sense of togetherness that created memories to last a lifetime. On Christmas Eve, Y/N woke up to Jensen's smiling face and the sound of soft piano music drifting through the house. Jensen led Y/N and their kids to the living room, where a grand surprise awaited them. In the corner of the room stood a beautiful train set, complete with a miniaturized replica of their family home, covered in a glistening layer of snow.

As the Ackles family stood in awe, Jensen shared his heartfelt speech, expressing his love for Y/N and his gratitude for their beautiful family. Tears of joy glistened in Y/N's eyes as she embraced her husband tightly, feeling truly blessed and overwhelmed with love. As there three children waited for them to finish so they could open their presents. The rest of the day was filled with delight as the children opened their presents getting excited at what they got as their parents watched on with bright and smiling faces this was definitely a Christmas y/n would never forget.

Note: I wrote this early in the month but got busy and forgot to post it so here it goes will probably post more that I didn't get around to doing as I got busy. Hope you enjoy as always feedback is appreciated.

#family #supernatural #x reader #jensen ackles x reader #christmas

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fluffyllamas-23 · 5 months

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hiiiiii could i pls ask for ✈️ 🎄 💛 🎂 😥 (please feel free to skip the tarot card/big 3 zodiac/whether they exemplify their signs part, i know you're not that into it) if you want! maybe for paul and aiden, and saoirse and jasmine since i know you were wanting to talk about them more? tysm!

Thank you so much for this!!! I love them all so much. Because they’re new, i’ll introduce them: Jasmine is an Emergency Room doctor, and Saoirse is a high school teacher who teaches English Lit (9th and 10th grade), and Creative Writing (11th and 12th grade). I did end up just going with birthdays, ages, and sun sign for the birthday cake question!

✈️ Does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Paul: Paul doesn’t really like to travel. At all. He hates it tbh. He has a lot of anxiety surrounding travel, and anytime he has to for work, he tries to bring Aiden with him because having his person there helps a lot. He does really want to be able to travel with Aiden sometimes, so he’s working up to it. He can do up to a week, but any longer than that, and he has a really rough time and struggles a lot with it. He likes being at home in his environment, where he has control over every aspect of it. If he’s in hotels and cities he’s unfamiliar with, he feels like he doesn’t have a safe space to retreat to and it makes him kind of panicky. He felt like he had zero control over anything when he was married to his ex. He really likes to be able to have control over everything in his life now, but he’s working with his therapist on it (he’s working REALLY hard). He’s really hoping he’ll be able to cope better in the future, because he’d like to be able to take long, romantic vacations with Aiden, but he just can’t right now.

Aiden: He likes to travel but he doesn’t feel like he needs to do it, and is perfectly happy staying home or close-to-home. It’s really helpful given Paul’s anxiety surrounding it, but traveling is just not something that’s super important to him. He’d much rather stay close to home, maybe spend a long weekend in the city, and NOT make the love of his life really anxious.

Jasmine: Jasmine LOVES to travel. She’s really high energy and craves adventure, and has a whole list of places she’d like to visit one day. She and Saoirse are slowly making their way through that list. She wants to make the most of every single trip they go on, and loves to pack their itinerary full of activities and exploration.

Saoirse: Saoirse likes to travel as well, but she’s not as enthusiastic about doing every single thing in places they go. She loves to explore the area and get a feel for wherever it is, but she also appreciates a nap in her hotel room between the museum and dinner. A lot of the time when they’re traveling together, she and Jasmine will compromise. Jasmine will pick things she wants to do that Saoirse isn’t as jazzed about and will do those while Saoirse naps or chills in their hotel room, and then they meet up later.

🎄 What is your oc's favorite holiday?

Paul: Paul’s favorite holiday is Christmas. He loves spending it with his and Aiden’s family. He especially loves all of the baking that Aiden’s mom does, and will sometimes bake with her. He also just really enjoys having a family and loved ones again. He was so isolated when he was married to his ex, and it made him so sad and lonely. Now he’s finally able to be with his loved ones and he’s so much happier.

Aiden: Aiden’s favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. You’d think it’d be Christmas because he works at a Christmas tree farm, but there’s just SO much work around that time, and he loves how relaxing Thanksgiving feels. He loves the food and spending time with family, and just everything about it.

Jasmine: Jasmine loves New Years Eve. She loves a good party, and she loves that there’s nothing she needs to cook and no family she needs to entertain. She loves cooking and loves her family, but I think after the stress of Thanksgiving and Christmas, she really loves having an excuse to be with JUST her wife. Just her, her gorgeous wife, a fancy new dress, and the fanciest cocktails of her life? What’s not to love.

Saoirse: Saoirse loves Thanksgiving, but not for the reason you might think. She loves the food and family time and all that, but what she really loves is the week off of work. There aren’t a ton of days off in October or the beginning of November, so by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, she’s always exhausted and kind of burnt out. The week off rejuvenates her and makes her feel much more able to tackle the rest of the year.

💛 How many languages does your oc speak? What language(s) are they learning, if any?

Paul: Paul speaks English fluently, and Italian pretty fluently. He’s not quite native in Italian, but he’s close. Sometimes he will sweet talk Aiden in italian, and Aiden has zero idea what he’s saying, but damn if it isn’t hot af.

Aiden: Aiden is only fluent in English, he doesn’t speak any other languages. He’s sort of half-assing learning Italian lmao. He does a duolingo lesson every great once in a while when he’s bored, but he tends to focus on things that are practical for him, and so far learning a second language hasn’t been. It’s also really hard, which is not exactly encouraging him to seriously try and learn it.

Jasmine: Jasmine speaks English and Spanish. She is not fluent in Spanish, but knows enough to get by, and can use it at work if needed.

Saoirse: Saoirse speaks English and French. Like Jasmine, she’s not fluent in French yet, but she does like to use it as a classroom management tool lmao sometimes if the kids are really having a DAY and are chatty and she’s having a hard time getting them to focus, she’ll start shouting random shit in French and it usually helps lmao.

🎂 When is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs?

Paul: Paul’s birthday is May 26th. He’s 41 and is a Gemini.

Aiden: Aiden’s birthday is December 19th. He’s 40 and is a Saggitarius.

Jasmine: Jasmine’s birthday is August 8th. She’s 35 and is a Leo.

Saoirse: Saoirse’s birthday is November 10th. She’s 33 and is a Scorpio.

😥 Is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool?

Paul: Paul is kind of a high strung guy, and he’s prone to getting stressed out. At this point, Aiden is really good at reading his body language and telling when he’s getting stressed out before Paul says anything.

Aiden: Aiden is a really chill person, and he’s not all that prone to getting stressed out. He’s good at keeping a really cool and level head, which is exactly the kind of person Paul needs.

Jasmine: Jasmine is really hard to stress out lmao. She’s an ER doctor so I’m not really sure there’s much, if anything, that phases her. She’s great at compartmentalizing when something stressful is happening and is really good at removing her emotions from the situation.

Saoirse: Saoirse is really good at keeping her cool. She teaches high school, and there’s no way you can survive that if you’re easy to stress out. It doesn’t happen often, but usually if a kid is on their bullshit and does something to try and stress her out, she’ll make really prolonged eye contact with them until they’re visibly uncomfortable, say “are you done? Great. Let’s move on with the lesson.”

#OCs #jasmine and saoirse #Paul and Aiden #thank you for these!!!! I really appreciate it 🥺❤️

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thisismetrying-111 · 5 months

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You.

This time last year we were getting ready for Chistmas. We were going to the tree farm, getting Christmas decorations, gifts and doing things I had not done as an adult for the holiday. We would casually talk about getting married, having adventures, doing all the things we wanted to do together. And now here I am, stuck in a situationship that I honestly don't think either of us sees going anywhere. It's not serious. It's not even just there for the sex. There isn't much that comes from it aside from us both having someone to occupy our free time. He's a good guy, nice guy. But he doesn't want anything serious. And thank God for that because I don't either. Not with him. Not with anyone. Not anyone who isn't you. I stopped thinking about my future because I still can't see it without you. If you were to show up at my door with a ring in hand asking me to marry you, I wouldn't think twice. If you came to me and told me what a huge mistake we made and that you never stopped loving me, I would take you in my arms and never let you go. I fear that this is how it will always be. I will live my life, I will move forward, I will meet men and enjoy their company. I will love things about them but I will never love them. Because my love was not made for them. My love was made for you. The things I have to give, the love I want to give... it's in that part of me that only you have seen. You spoke to me in a language only we understood. I no longer have hope that you will come back to me. But you still come to me in my dreams. You're still a face in every crowd I look in to. You are still on my mind when I'm happy, when I'm sad. When life changes, you are still who I want to call. To celebrate with, to cry with. When I hear a terrible joke, it still takes self control to not reach out to you.

I have no doubt that you have built up your wall and steeled yourself to me. That is how you defend yourself. You allow yourself to become cold because you don't want to hurt. I still remember the crack in your voice when you told me that you hated the fact that you still loved me. There was resentment and hatred. You hated me and you loved me. You stopped embracing the love for me and you opened your arms to that hate. I'm not sure if you've been able to let that go. Part of me hopes so. But the alternative would be you feeling nothing at all for me and just the thought of that destroys me. Will it always be this way for me? Will I always be that woman that holds on to every bit of you that I can? Will I die an old woman and my family find all these old writings about my unwavering love for you? And then it everything about me starts to make sense. That I was always lonely even if I wasn't alone. Because no matter the person, they couldn't hold a candle to you. And then they discover the sadness and pain I continued to live in after losing the man that broke the very best parts of me.

I have accepted the fact that I may never feel that fire again. That although I may find a nice man to eventually settle down with, I will never feel the passion, the spark, the depth that I felt with you. I have also accepted that I may never settle down with anyone ever. That I may truly end up alone. Because it's you. It's been you since the day I met you. Seeing you in that parking lot. Jeans, boots and a band t and those purple aviators. I knew you would be the one person who could break me. And break me you did.

It's almost been a year since you ended this part of our journey. A year and here I am. Still madly and hopelessly and pathetically and poetically in love with you.

#love #heartbreak #grief #breakups

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adamgant · 5 months

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Friday Faves 12.1 and Arkansas fun

Friday Faves 12.1 and Arkansas fun https://ift.tt/Px0g4Mw Hi friends! Happy Friday! How was the week? I hope you’ve had a great one. Ours went by quickly — part of it was spent in Arkansas and then we flew back home to Tucson. We had a wonderful time with family and enjoyed so many fun adventures. Some highlights: the alligator farm was a HUGE hit a beautiful hike, strolling around and shopping in Hot Springs, the Christmas lights at Garvan Woodland Gardens, and lunch at The Root. (gf chicken salad sandwich, salad, and sweet potato fries. 10/10) What do you have going on this weekend? It’s the squadron Christmas party and we’re going to get our Christmas tree. After being team fake tree for so many years, we switched to real a few years ago and I don’t see myself going back. They smell AMAZING. It’s time for the weekly Friday Faves party! This is where I share some of my favorite finds from the week and around the web. I always love to hear about your faves, too, so please shout out something you’re loving in the comments section below. Friday Faves 12.1 and Arkansas fun November faves! It’s always fun to look back through analytics and see which products you’ve enjoyed the most that I’ve shared here on the blog. November is especially fun with gift guides (I have more coming next week!) and here are the bestsellers from this past month: The sauna blanket! I was so pumped to see how many of you added this to your collection this month! You can still use FITNESSISTA20 for 20% off here These cute joggers Everyday Chelsea boots This swimsuit that I bought years ago and still love The best half-zip An amazing gift for any pet lover The gift that will make any little kid’s whole year Still my favorite leggings A perfect stocking stuffer for your husband or partner A Barbie dream house This kids’ ruffle sweatshirt Read, watch, listen: Loving this audiobook so far, especially since I’ve been into rewatching old Friends episodes. It’s sad and comforting to hear his voice, and it was a loss this year that hit me pretty hard. I watched Falling for Christmas on Netflix while wrapping gifts – trying to get everything done early – and I have to admit… it was great. Check out this week’s podcast episode here! Fitness + good eats: 15 festive holiday cocktail recipes. You have to try these crunchy almond butter truffles. Our favorite holiday recipes! 30 on, 30 off HIIT with weights Fashion + beauty: Love this Madewell dress (on sale right now) How cute are these ballerina flats? Kind of into the fact that bootcut jeans are back. Happy Friday, friends! What are you loving this week? Any fun Cyber Monday or Black Friday purchases that have been arriving? xoxo Gina WINNERS: Congrats to the winner of our Beautycounter giveaway: Traci and to the winners of the Amazon $500 gift card giveaway! @joyfuldesi19 @beachmom757 *Stay tuned for Favorite Things on Monday 🙂 The post Friday Faves 12.1 and Arkansas fun appeared first on The Fitnessista. via The Fitnessista https://ift.tt/zStj56B December 01, 2023 at 12:00PM

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quickspinner · 3 years

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Month of Miracles Day 8 - Uncertainty

Find the prompt list here!

Marinette had a lot of experience with embarrassment, and she was well aware that no matter how much she wished it, the odds of the earth opening beneath her and swallowing her up were pretty slim. In fact, at this point in her life she was pretty sure that if it ever did happen, it would be while things were going perfectly fine, just to spite her.

So as she stood on the sidewalk outside of the library, peeling a sticky bow off her forehead (and probably a perfectly square section of her foundation with it, which she was sure would look just great), trying not to look at the very attractive rock star (former rock star?) beside her, she was annoyed but not surprised that the ground remained solid under her feet.

“Well,” Luka sighed, “I guess since Rose is paying...can I take you to lunch?”

“I, um—” Marinette began, and then shivered, grabbing her arms as the wind suddenly cut through her.

“Here,” Luka said, and Marinette finally looked at him. He was holding her coat open for her, waiting. He was already wearing his. “Marinette?” he asked when she didn’t move immediately, and Marinette jumped.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, hastily jamming her arms into the coat. It was harder than it should have been, since she still had the big stick-on bow in her hand, and her internal screaming grew louder as Luka continued to hold the coat patiently until she finally got her hand through the cuff. She jammed the bow in her pocket as she turned towards him with a grateful, if embarrassed, smile as she began buttoning the coat. “Um, thank you, but I’m sure you have things to do, and, well Rose didn’t exactly give you notice there, so if you need to, um, go, I understand.”

Luka gave her a slow smile. “Well, since one of the things I have to do is eat lunch, I’m not going to turn down a slice of Sally’s pie on Rose’s dime. And since she kind of played us both here, I think she owes you one too. Unless you don’t like pie?”

“I love pie,” Marinette blurted, and had to stop her hand from flying to cover her mouth.

“Well, okay then. Let’s get some pie.” Luka gestured, and Marinette found herself walking alongside him. “Maybe some soup, too. Sally’s tomato bisque is amazing when it’s cold outside.”

Marinette made a noise that she hoped sounded like agreement. What on earth was she doing? Didn’t this make it look like she wanted to go on a date with him? What if he thought Rose was acting on Marinette’s behalf?

A touch on her arm jolted her out of her spiral. “Are you all right?” Luka asked gently, slowing down his walk. “Look, I know Rose is...a lot. I didn’t mean to enable her pushiness, so if you’re not comfortable—”

“No!” Marinette exclaimed quickly, and then sighed. “Well...yes, a little. Not she’s a lot a little, but I’m a little. Uncomfortable, I mean. N-not that you did anything, or...um…” She clamped her teeth together and fought the urge to scream.

“It’s just that this is a little awkward, because Rose has all the subtlety of a brick to the head and now we’re both trying to pretend that we don’t know we were set up?” Luka smiled, and Marinette actually laughed a little bit despite the vivid blush she was sure was spreading over her face.

“Yeah, kinda,” she admitted, hunching her shoulders.

Luka shrugged. “Well, we could bail on lunch, walk away and pretend none of this ever happened, and hope that we never see each other again. Buuuuut this is a pretty small town, and avoiding people here is hard, so the chances of recurring awkward are high.”

“Good point.” Marinette winced. “Um...what are our other options?”

“Well, I’m personally a big fan of just embracing the awkward.” Luka gave her a lopsided smile that looked nothing like his posters. “So I propose that we go have lunch, no pressure and no expectations, ask all the questions we’ve been dancing around until now, and see if we can’t just power through the awkward and come out friends—or at least acquaintances that can greet each other on the street without combusting from embarrassment.”

Marinette laughed. “That...that actually sounds like a plan.”

Luka’s lopsided smile turned into a grin, and in that moment she could see a flash of the rock star she remembered.

It was a short walk to the café (it was a short walk just about anywhere on Main Street, really), and before she had quite recovered from that grin, Luka was holding the door open for her and waving her through.

“Hi, Sally,” he said as he followed her into the café. “Where should we sit?”

“Anywhere you like, hon, just don’t take up the big tables,” Sally replied absently, preoccupied with something behind the counter. “Your usual?”

“Am I so predictable?” he sighed, leading Marinette to a small booth near the windows.

“You are when it’s this cold out,” Sally laughed, looking up, and noticed his companion for the first time. “Nice to see you again Marinette! Do you need the menu?”

“I’ll have what Luka’s having, actually,” Marinette said, blushing a little as she slid into the seat across from Luka. “Now that he’s talked it up I have to try it.”

“Sure thing, hon. Tea instead of coffee for you though?”

“Yes please,” Marinette replied quickly, shrugging out of her coat. She raised a self-conscious hand and touched the spot on her forehead where the bow had been, glancing at her reflection in the window.

“Rose’s treating today, so make it the big bowl please,” Luka called, and got a good natured wave from Sally to indicate she’d heard him. He turned his attention back to Marinette, and she tried not to squirm.

“So,” Luka said, slipping out of his coat and stuffing it into the corner beside him. “Do you want to start?”

“Why did you retire?” Marinette blurted, and covered her mouth.

Luka winced. “Wow, right out of the gate.”

“I’m sorry,” Marinette backpedaled frantically. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it was a fair question,” Luka sighed, sitting back and tapping his fingers lightly on the table as he thought. Marinette bit her lip, feeling terrible for asking, but also really wanting to know.

“Sometimes you take a chance, and things don’t work out,” he said finally. “But...sometimes they do work out, and then you find out it wasn’t actually what you wanted in the first place. I love the music, I thought I loved performing, but that whole lifestyle just...didn’t work for me.”

Marinette wasn’t sure what to say to that, and was grateful that Sally arrived just at that moment with her tea and Luka’s coffee.

“Okay, my turn,” Luka said, leaning his elbows on the table. “Why are you here? In this town, I mean. No offense, but you kind of stick out.”

Marinette made a face. “The real reason? My mother thought I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown, so she conspired with my grandmother to guilt me into taking a vacation. As if all my problems aren’t still going to be there when I go home.” She glanced up at him, gathered her courage, and said, “Why are you here?”

“My family is here,” he said, pushing the salt shaker around on the table absently. He leaned back as Sally came to slide two bowls of soup on the table. Luka thanked her, and then looked back at Marinette. He gave that lopsided grin again at the slight pout she was aiming at him, and gave in. “So it was the logical place to come when I decided I needed to figure out what I really wanted out of life.”

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “And did you?”

Luka shrugged. “It’s a process, but...yeah, I think I’m on the right track.” He raised his eyebrows back at her. “What was stressing you out so bad at home?”

“My boss,” Marinette groaned, as they both picked up their spoons. “There’s so much she can do for me in the industry but she’s so rude and mean. The words constructive criticism seem to have no meaning for her. It’s like she expects me to read her mind and fix things without any guidance. Why did she hire me, if she hates everything I do so much?” Marinette stirred her soup listlessly, and then finally tried some. She smiled at Luka. “This is good.” His mouth was full but he aimed a wink at her in lieu of an I told you so. “So why a Christmas tree farm?” she asked.

Luka shrugged. “I don’t even really know myself. When my mom bought it I thought it was just another one of her crazy whims, and that she’d sell it again before the next season even came around. But, turns out she likes the farm, and she likes the town, and she runs a kayak rental during the summer that keeps her adventuring spirit satisfied. I still expect her to up and leave with practically no notice someday, but for now she seems happy. Make sure you try the toast on the side, by the way, it’s amazing.” He tilted his head slightly. “Why does Christmas hate you?”

Marinette had to take a moment for that one, taking her time with her next spoonful of soup. Luka didn’t press her, just went on eating his own. “I’ve never had much luck with Christmas,” she muttered, and then felt like he deserved more of an answer than that. “Not every Christmas, some were fine, but some were...just times when I found out that people weren’t the friends I thought they were. Then last Christmas...” She hesitated, feeling foolish. “My boyfriend dumped me,” she said finally, and then blushed. “It sounds really stupid and pathetic when I say it out loud, and it’s not like he did it on Christmas or anything like that, but...” She shook her head.

“But now it’s Christmas again and you’re having a hard time separating the season from the memories?” Luka suggested. Marinette nodded.

“My ex, he’s...kind of famous,” she admitted, “And now he’s back in the news because he’s got a new girlfriend, and there’s rumors there’s going to be an engagement announcement soon, and we work in the same industry so we’re still part of some of the same circles, and...yeah.” She shrugged and looked down, eyes suddenly stinging. “It just kind of feels like Christmas isn’t on my side this year either.”

“Hey,” Luka said, reaching across the table to catch her hand. Marinette looked up at him, startled, and he smiled. “What kind of pie do you want?”

His hand was rough, but warm from where it had been wrapped around his coffee, and for a moment she could only stare at him. He has kind eyes, she thought.

She hadn’t seen that on his posters, either.

“Blueberry,” she managed to say, and it wasn’t as hard to smile back at him as she thought it would be.

Fiction Master Post | Month of Miracles

#quickspins #monthofmiracles2020 #hallmark au #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculousladybug

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ffakc · 3 years

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A Midwest Christmas - a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fanfiction

Again, I’m aware I’m late posting this. I know it’s no longer Christmas, don’t yell at me. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I LOVE writing stories that are based around Christmas.

Jeff crushed out his cigarette and breathed hot air into his hands to warm them. He shrugged his shoulders a few times, almost as if he was psyching himself up.

“You okay, babe?” I ask and kiss his cheek, shutting the car off.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m so nervous! I’m a grown ass man, damn it,” my boyfriend chuckles.

“They’ll love you, Jeff. You know my mom and dad love you already, you have nothing to worry about, baby” I give his thigh a squeeze and kiss his neck deeply. Jeff moans and tilts his head to the side.

“Please don’t give me a boner before meeting your female relatives,” Jeff chuckles. “I don’t know, babe. Dad might not love me after I walk through the door,” he gestures to his Seattle Seahawks beanie.

“He’ll get over it,” I laugh and open the car door. Jeff grabs the box of gifts from the trunk and holds my hand as we walk to the front door.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” I holler from the foyer. Jeff kicks off his boots.

“Hey sweetie! Hey Jeff, what’s up, brother?” my dad calls from the den.

“Hey, Mr. C,” Jeff smiles warmly.

“Oh no, oh no. You take that hat off! You’re in Bear country!” my dad laughs. “Just when I thought I liked you!”

“I knew you’d say something! GO HAWKS!” Jeff chuckles and tosses it onto the bench. My dad jokingly makes a fist. I roll my eyes playfully and ruffle his hair as we head upstairs. Men and their sports, I’ll never understand it.

“You can just set the gifts under the tree,” I whisper to Jeff and give his arm a squeeze. He waves at my female relatives at the table.

“Hiiiii! Merry Christmas! I’ve missed you!” my cousin Amy hugs me. “How’s New York?”

“Absolutely incredible. Every day feels like a new adventure with this one,” I gesture to my man standing behind me. “This is my boyfriend, Jeff!”

“Hi there, you must be Amy? I’ve heard so much about you!” Jeff shakes her hand and kisses her cheek.

“All good things I hope!” Amy laughs.

“Yes ma’am. I’ve heard y’all are super close, and I love that. Family togetherness recharges the batteries.”

“I’m glad to hear it! I can’t think of a single holiday we didn’t spend together,” Amy gestures around the table.

“Have a seat!” my mom says. “Can I get you anything to drink? We have wine, beer, Coke Zero...”

“I’ll have a Coke,” Jeff replies and sits next to me at the long dinner table. I pull a small bottle of Crown Royal out of my bag.

“I’ll take a Coke as well,” I laugh.

“You came to party! I’ll take some too,” Jeff wraps his arm around me and kisses my cheek as I add the liquor to his glass of ice, “It smells amazing in here, Ma,” Jeff says to my mom.

“Thanks, Jeff! It’s a tradition on Christmas that we have Grandma, my mom’s, tacos. The shells are from a tiny little Mexican kitchen downtown, that’s how my mom always did it. I think we’re just waiting on Jessica and then we’ll be ready to eat!”

“Sounds delicious,” Jeff sips his drink.

“How’d you guys meet? You look super familiar, Jeff,” my aunt Janine remarks. I rest my head on Jeff’s shoulder.

“It all started when I began frequenting this coffee shop that opened near my, well, OUR farm while on hiatus from work. I couldn’t take my eyes off this brown eyed manager with the messy bun in her hair who would always ring me up and make my drink. Golly, she looked cute in that apron,” Jeff nudges me and everyone laughs as I blush. “I finally had to ask this pretty young thing out. I invited her over for dinner and the rest is history. One year and some change later and I can’t imagine my life with anyone else but my baby gal,” he kisses me softly. “Oh! I’m an actor, by the way. I’m currently on a show called The Walking Dead, I play the bad guy named Negan. A lot of people still recognize me as Denny from Grey’s Anatomy and John Winchester from Supernatural though,” Jeff smiles warmly.

“I knew those eyes looked familiar!” my aunt exclaims. “Wow, girl, a famous actor? Check you out!”

“He’s pretty great. I thought the concept of soulmates was cheesy til this man came along. I mean, nobody’s perfect, but Jeffrey comes pretty darn close,” I rub his thigh under the table.

“How old are you anyway? That gray beard says you’re old,” my 13 year old cousin Alyssa asks.

“Lys! You can’t just say that!” her mom quiets her.

“It’s okay, hon! I’m not offended at all! I AM old, real old. I’m 54,” Jeff laughs.

“And how old are you?” Alyssa turns her attention to me.

“24,” I link my arm with my man’s and nuzzle his shoulder.

“Sooo, you were 30 when she was born?” Alyssa makes a sassy face.

“Don’t push it, little girl,” Jeff teases and we all laugh.

*Jeff’s POV*

“So, this is the man cave, huh?” I glance around at the fishing poles adorning the chocolate brown wall and Chicago sports gear.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice! It gets cold down here, but the fireplace helps!” my girlfriend’s dad Tim tosses some kindling on the fire.

“Super cozy,” I remark. I haven’t been this nervous in a long time. I had something I desperately wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to just get right to it.

“How you doin’, bud?” my girlfriend’s grandfather Ray asks.

“Good, Ray! I’m really good, fantastic actually. It feels so nice to be off work for the holidays! Thank you guys so much for welcoming me into your home. Dinner was delicious and the Midwest hospitality is much appreciated.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Tim says.

“This is for you,” Ray reaches into his coat pocket. He passes a CD my way with small writing on the jacket, “To: Jeff. Love, Grampa.”

“Aww, what’s this?” I say, pushing my glasses up.

“Elvis Christmas songs. Something for you and your girl to dance to. You better treat her good,” he smiles his adorable old man smile.

“Thank you so much, Grandpa,” I get up and give him a hug. “You didn’t have to get me anything. So, um,” I clear my throat as I settle into the couch. “There’s something we should talk about. I mean, something I need to ask you. I don’t know, I’m shaky as hell. So, how do I put this?” I pull a small velvet box out of my pocket. “I brought this with me.”

“You want to marry me? Let me go get my dress!” Tim teases. Whew, a joke to break the tension.

“Yeah, totally! I, wow, I’m going to cry. Pull yourself together, Jeff. I wanted to know if I can ask your daughter to be my wife. She’s got me wrapped, man. When I look into her eyes, I just fall in love over and over again. I know it’s old fashioned of me to ask, but I thought I’d do the right thing and ask for your blessing. I love your girl so damn much, you have no idea,” I wipe tears away.

“I had a feeling this would be happening. You kept staring at me all through dinner with this lost puppy look in your eye, like I was going to yell at you or something! Jeff, I see the way she looks at you and it warms her dad’s heart. Every time you speak, she stops immediately what she’s doing and stares at you with hearts in her eyes. I’ve never seen my daughter so happy. Of course you have my blessing.” My heart begins hammering in my chest as my soon to be fiancée’s dad pulls me into a hug.

“Thank you so much, sir! Oh my god, I’m freaking out. Thank you, thank you! So, next question, where’s the best place to propose around these parts?”

“Well, downtown near your hotel on 5th Avenue, it’s all decked out in Christmas lights. Maybe you guys could take a walk down there?”

***

“What a great dinner, your family is so kind and welcoming!” Jeff says as we climb into the warm car. “I love you so much, doll.”

“I’m so glad you had a good time, honey. I knew you would! I love you too, Jeff. I’m so looking forward to the hot tub when we get back to the room, I don’t know about you.” Jeff slides his hand over my upper thigh seductively as I drive through the city in the direction of the hotel. I glance over at my boyfriend and he gives me the sexiest bedroom eyes. I could have just stopped the car and taken him right there. We jam out to our favorite Christmas songs and giggle like kids.

“Fifth Avenue,” Jeff mutters. “Pull over, babe.” I pull into a parking spot and Jeff grabs my face and kisses me deeply, “Let’s go walkin’ in a winter wonderland.” I smile and shut the car off and follow behind him. Jeff’s adorable spontaneity was one of his best qualities. He takes me by the hand as we look at the twinkling lights. There’s no cars on the road and the snow dampens all the sound.

“Hey, sweetheart?” Jeff places his hands on my hips.

“Yes?” I wrap my arms around his neck. We hold each other close.

“You’re so damn perfect,” he pecks my lips, I run my fingers through his soft gray hair. “I tried to come up with a long romantic speech, but words are failing me. You’re everything I’ve hoped and dreamed for. You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. You’re the reason I can’t wipe this smile off my face. Every time I look into those gentle brown eyes, I’m reminded of why I fell in love with you all over again. A life without you is a life I don’t want to live. You’re my entire world, sweet girl.” Jeff pulls away and reaches into his pocket.

“Oh my god,” I sigh, “Jeffrey, I-I-“ I’m utterly speechless. Jeff brushes away the snow on the sidewalk with his gloved hand and gets on one knee.

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” Jeff smiles widely, opening the velvet box and revealing a simple, shimmering band. That man knew me so well, it was exactly the

“Oh god, Daddy! Yes! Yes, Jeffrey, yes I’ll marry you!” I jump up and down excitedly. Jeff’s hands shake as he slides the ring on my finger. I gasp with delight, “I love you. Oh baby, it’s beautiful!” Jeff gets to his feet and rests his forehead against mine as we both cry tears of joy. My breath quavers from excitement and the biting cold as Jeff kisses me over and over again.

“I want you to be mine forever,” he whispers against my lips.

“Forever and ever. Oh my god, my heart is racing! You’re so amazing, I love you so much.”

“I love you the most, baby gal.”

***

Jeff and I could hardly keep our hands off each other as we hustled to the elevator.

“Merry Christmas!” the front desk agent calls out.

“You too!” Jeff replies with a friendly wave. I untie my coat as the door to the elevator shuts. I tangle my fingers in my silver fox’s thick hair and moan as he kisses my neck and pulls down my sweater, brushing his scruffy beard against my chest as he kisses and sucks gently.

“Jeffrey, you naughty boy,” I gasp. His large, slender hand find its way between my thighs. “Please, Daddy,” I whine. Jeff slides his fingers down the front of my leggings. He pulls them out just as the elevator chimes, my face goes red as I readjust my Christmas sweater and Jeff fixes his hair as if nothing ever happened.

“Merry Christmas!” an innocent, elderly Mrs. Claus looking woman greets us.

“Merry Christmas to you too!” I reply, the cool air of the hallway hitting Jeff’s saliva on my chest, causing me to shiver with delight. We laugh to ourselves as Jeff opens the door to our suite. Oh, that poor old lady, I hope she didn’t hear too much.

“Let’s see, how about we celebrate with a drink!” Jeff says with a wide smile, slinging his coat over a chair.

“Hmm, how about something sweet? I kind of want dessert after all those tacos,” I wrap my arms around my now fiancé’s waist as he kisses me, his large hands squeeze me closer.

“Your sweater reminds me, how about a White Russian?”

“I am, in fact, the Dude. One of my favorites,” I reply with a laugh.

“Hmm. Vodka, check. Coffee liqueur, got it. Cream, hmm. Cream, cream, cream,” Jeff taps his chin. “Got it!” he grabs some half and half packets from the coffee station.

“Ah, resourceful! I like that!” I kiss him and sit on the bed, “I’ll get the bath ready.”

I draw the bath and Jeff hands me a drink, setting his on the rim of the tub. He unbuttons his shirt revealing his hairy chest and stomach. He kisses me.

“I love you so much,” he says. “Nice ring you’ve got there.”

“Thanks!” I run my fingers down his chest, “My handsome fiancé gave it to me.”

“He must be a lucky guy,” Jeff’s pants come off and he slides into the tub with a loud groan.

“Jesus, that feels so fucking good,” he runs his fingers through his hair. “Come on in, baby gal, the water’s fine.” Jeff bites his lip eagerly as I take my clothes off. “You’re so sexy, you know that?”

“I could say the same about you, darlin’,” I reply, tossing my bra on the floor. I tie my hair up as my fiancé looks me up and down. I climb in the tub, opposite of the rugged older man that I was so lucky to call mine. Jeff grabs my leg and begins kissing the length of my calf.

“When and where do you want to get married?” he asked with a sly smile, kneading my legs.

“Honestly, I’ve always dreamed of a fall or winter wedding. You know how I feel about hot weather,” I take a sip of my White Russian.

“Babe, it’s too hot! This is stupid! Ninety degrees? Ew, fuck that!” Jeff imitates my whining. I laugh.

“You know me so well!”

“Daddy, I have a headache!” Jeff cackles.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” I playfully splash water in his face with my foot. Jeff sputters.

“I give you shit because I love you!” he wipes his face.

“I know, and I give it right back to you, asshole! What were we talking about again?” I giggle.

“Wedding plans?”

“Oh, right. So, definitely a fall wedding. What about on the farm? Ballrooms have never really struck my fancy. That little area off beyond the pastures would be beautiful, don’t you think?”

“I agree, I don’t need a big gala with a stuffy tuxedo to show everyone how much I love you. Ooh! How about under that big tree where we had a picnic and carved our names?” Jeff places my legs on his shoulders.

“J hearts K, yeah, I remember,” I sigh longingly. “That’s where you first told me you loved me.”

“Aw, it was, wasn’t it? You packed us a picnic and everything! You’re just a regular Ina Garten, aren’t you? Remember me yelling at the dogs to stay away from the alpacas? ‘Guys, those aren’t puppies, they’ll kick the shit out of you!’” Jeff laughs.

“Well, if I’m Ina, you’re Jeffrey! Hey, look at that! It works!” I tap my glass against his. “Those dogs are so cute, but they’re little shits sometimes.”

“Oh, absolutely they are,” Jeff agrees. “Wow, that cute barista who I was scared to ask out is going to be my wife? How did I get so damn lucky?”

“You were scared to ask me out? Why? We would always chit-chat back and forth.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why. I think it’s because I didn’t want to be THAT guy. You know, the guy who thinks the food service worker is flirting with him just because she’s being nice,” Jeff rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t get that impression from you at all! I think you’re sexy as fuck, and have since the day I first met you. If I thought you were a scumbag, I wouldn’t have flirted back. And I wouldn’t have had sex with you on the first date, would I?” I tease.

“You’re right. Man, that was a wild night, eh? My heart still beats fast when I think about it,” Jeff grins. “You looked so damn good in my shirt too. Come here,” he holds out his arms and I make my way to his side of the tub, sitting on his lap. He runs his manly hands all over my body and buries his face in my neck, kissing and moaning, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Mrs. Morgan.”

“I love the sound of that. I get to be your wife and I’ve never been happier in my entire life. I love you so much, Jeffrey.”

“I love you too.”

We eventually climb out of the tub, after kissing and laughing and talking til the water turns our toes to raisins. I wrap myself in a fuzzy bathrobe and Jeff quickly does the same. I climb in the big, fluffy bed and Jeff snuggles next to me. He wraps his slender arms around me and I immediately drift off to sleep.

***

“Merry Christmas, gorgeous,” Jeff’s croaky, sultry morning voice rings in my ears like church bells. He kisses my forehead, his scruff brushing against my skin. I squint my eyes at the bright sun bouncing off the snow and flooding our suite.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” I curl up closer to his warm body. I close my eyes and bury my face in his chest, “Has anyone told you that you look like Santa Claus with your beard?” I laugh and kiss his collarbones.

“Every damn day on social media,” Jeff chuckles. He moans softly at my touch. I stop and hold out my left hand, my vintage gold band shimmering in the light.

“Just had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming,” I smile.

“You ain’t dreamin’, sweet girl. You’re going to be my wife,” Jeff kisses me and strokes my hair. He climbs on top of me, our naked bodies still cloaked in the beige comforter. He buries his face in my neck, leaving sloppy kisses.

“Daddy,” I whimper.

“Yeah, baby?” I hold his face in my hands.

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. You sure are pretty. What do you say we have a little fun before going back to Mom and Dad’s?”

“I would want nothing more,” I reply as Jeff pulls the blanket over his head and begins kissing down my body. I giggle with delight as his beard tickles me. Best. Christmas. Ever.

Tag list: @negans-attagirl @jdmbbycakes @iluvneganandjamie

#denny duquette #fanfic #fanfiction #greys anatomy #jeffrey dean morgan #negan #the walking dead #older man younger woman #christmas #engagement

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natigail · 3 years

Text

January 2021 - natigail’s writing

Active WIPS this month:

Moving forward as the wind passes gently through our fingertips (Seventeen, Jeonghan/Joshua, University AU, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, unpublished for now)

Broke, Gay and with no idea how to farm – Dan is new in Pelican Town (Phan, Stardew Valley AU, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, Old School Phandom Big Bang Fic, will be +50k, scheduled to be posted in April)

The Disowned Gay Elf and The Cursed Gay Dragon (Phan, D&D inspired, elf!Dan, dragon!Phil, adventure quest, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, unpublished for now)

Back-burner WIPS:

Isn’t It Our Responsibility To Do The Right Thing? (Undertale, sans/reader, sequel to YCDTFOOW, angst with happy ending, established relationship, 4/8 chapters posted, currently on hiatus)

boy(s) make(s) his heart soft series (BTS, Yoongi/Jungkook, Namjoon/Jimin/Taehyung, Seokjin/Hoseok, Idol AU, slow burn, LGBTQ+ themes, media attention, unpublished for now)

Love In The Age of Video Games (BTS, Jimin/Jungkook, AU, YouTubers!Jikook, famous!Jungkook, video games, game developers!Jimin and Taehyung, strangers to online friends to lovers, unpublished for now)

no need for bruised knuckles (i’ll show you how) (Phan, Gang AU, peaceful gang leader!Phil, lackey for a rival gang!Dan, enemies to lovers, kicking homophobia in the butt together, unpublished for now)

why wouldn’t an author write fanfics of his own works? (Phan, Author AU, secret identity, author!Dan, animator!Phil, LGBTQ+ themes, online friendship, writer and artist solidarity, mutual pining, strangers to complicated to lovers, unpublished for now)

Mon’s Army of Hybrids (BTS, Hybrid AU, OT7, found family, polyamory, vigilante justice, angst with happy ending, secrets, hybrid!BTS, unpublished for now)

WINGS (my original novel, fantasy world, wlw main couple, hunter!protagonist, winged creature!love interest, enemies to friends to lovers, found family, LGBTQ+ themes, planned to be a trilogy, first volume nearly done at 170k)

5 Most Recently Completed Fics:

The Calm to The Storm (Among Us, 64.5k, crewmate/imposter, murdering and violence, angst with happy ending, enemies to lovers)

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY (Phan, 178.5k, Strictly Come Dancing AU, dancing, famous!Dan, dancer!Phil, slow burn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, LGBTQ+ themes)

all that kindred eyes can see (Phan, 16.6k, written for holiday gift exchange, secret relationship, teachers!DnP, partly outsider POV, LGBTQ+ themes)

a tiny christmas tree (Phan, 3k, reality, christmas fluff)

would it be alright if i pulled you closer? (BTS, 35k, Jimin/Taehyung, Idol AU, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn)

Remember my inbox is ALWAYS open if you want to talk about my fics (wips or finished ones) - I’d love to speak more about them. <3

#monthly recap #my stories

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coolchevistianofficialsite · 3 years

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To give a Disney ask that isn't show business related, what are your favorite episodes of: Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, Wander Over Yonder, The 7D, Penn Zero, Pickle and Peanut, Future Worm, Billy Dilley, Elena of Avalor, Star vs, Milo Murphy's Law, Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, Ducktales 2017, Big Hero 6 The Series, Big City Greens, Amphibia, and Owl House and why?

Phineas And Ferb is a tie between Summer Belongs To You and Phineas And Ferb Get Busted!

Gravity Falls: Weirdmaggedon Saga & In To The Bunker

Wander Over Yonder:The Box,The Nice Guy, The Helper & The Little Guy

The 7D: Haven’t Watched It Sorry :( (Request It On Disney+ So I Can Select A Episode)

Penn Zero: The End Of The Worlds And The Cereal World Episodes

Pickle And Peanut: 90′s Adventure Bear and the episodes where they parody The Disney Afternoon with 90′s Adventure Bear

Future-Worm!: Robo-Carp-Alypse & Egg in the Family

Billy Dilley’s Super Duper Subterranean Summer: Jared & Calzones

Elena Of Avalor: Coronation Day, All Dia De Muertos Episodes, Elena's Day Off, The Lightning Warrior, Blockheads

Star Vs: Mewberty, Blood Moon Ball, St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses, On the Job,The Battle Of Mewni (Show Should Have Been Over There)

Milo Murphy’s Law: First Impressions, Going The Extra Milo, Missing Milo, The Phineas And Ferb Effect

DuckTales 2017: The Town That Always Was Nice! & Quack Pack! (I was more in to Milo, Tangled & BCG than BH6 & DuckTales sorry)

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure: Challenge Of The Brave, Pascal's Story, Max's Enemy, The Way of the Willow. Secret of the Sun Drop, Happiness Is., Rapunzel and the Great Tree, Rapunzel: Day One, The Eye of Pincosta, Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Wolf?, Cassandra's Revenge,Islands Apart, Plus Est En Vous

Big Hero 6 The Series: Big Roommates 2, Countdown to Catastrophe, Supersonic Sue,City Of Monsters (Not Touching S3 beacuse that Season is Meh)

Amphibia: Reunion, A Day at the Aquarium, Hopping Mall,Wax Museum,The First Temple, After The Rain, The Second Temple

The Owl House: Understanding Willow

Big City Greens: Space Chicken,Welcome Home, Blue Tater, Bear Trapped, Mama Bird,Gridlocked, Critterball Crisis,Parade Day,DYS Guys,Coffee Quest,Phoenix Rises,Blood Moon,Uncaged, Hurty Tooth, Mansion Madness,Axin Saxon, Volunteer Tilly,Bad Influencer,Green Christmas, Dream Weaver, Level Up,Garage Tales,Animal Farm,Desserted,Green Acres,Dolled Up,Cheap Show, Super Gramma!,Times Circle, Present Tense,Quier Please,Chipwrecked,Chipocalypse Now,Big Resolution, Okay Karaoke, Date Night, Bleeped,Fast Foodie, Spaghetti Theory,Ding Dongers, Animation Abomination, Bat Girl, Cousin Jilly, Gloria’s Cafe

#question #anonymous

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prettyinlimegreenboots · 4 years

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“They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

One quick note - this is a section of my The Many Adventures of Sammi and Race. You don’t have to have read the series but it may help to clear up some of the characters.

October 6, 1906

A cold snap had descended on the city so the group of 8 headed out of the city to Cold Springs for the weekend for a quick getaway. Kat and Race had the entire weekend planned, everything from apple picking and pumpkin picking to walking a trail to look at the colorful leaves.

Arriving at the pumpkin patch, both girls’ eyes went wide at the sheer number of pumpkins available to choose from.

Spot laughed, watching Race run after their niece and daughter, bouncing Ben gently. He heard his brother and sister-in-law laugh behind him. “Who’s going to wear who our first?”

“It’ll probably be a tie.” Kat grinned, watching Tommy balance on his feet before picking him up. “Shall we head over to the pumpkin patch?”

The three adults headed over to the many rows of various colors and shapes of pumpkins. Race was crouched down looking at the three and five year olds, apparently negotiating with them. “But Uncle Race.”

“Now Sammi, don’t pulls out that voice. One pumpkin each.” Race giving her a glance watching Jack, Kat and Spot find them. “Go talk to daddy if yous want more.”

Sammi ran to Jack, running into his knees with a giggle. “Daddy!”

Picking her up, he swung her onto his hip looking at the messy haired five year old. “What’s up Sammi Roo?”

“Uncle Race said Is can only gets one pumpin.” She gave her dad a look.

Jack nodded, grinning at his brother. “Uncle Race is right. Wes don’t have much room for pumpkins so yous and Ellie can only get one each.”

“But whats about Tommy and Benny?” She said motioning to her brother and cousin.

Jack looked at the other adults, a loss for words. Thankfully his wife was on her A-game. “They have little pumpkins we can get your brother and cousin.”

Sammi nodded, pushing gently away from her dad. “Okays! Down please daddy?”

Putting her on her feet, she grabbed Ellie’s hand before pulling the three year old down a row of pumpkins, a string of giggles trailing behind her.

“Who’s ready for a nap?” Race clapped his hands together looking at his husband and brother and sister-in-law.

Kat came up beside him with Tommy in her arms. “You’re such a good uncle and dad, Race.”

Shaking his head, he scanned the pumpkins for the two girls, finding them with their heads together before looking at Spot. “How’s he doing?”

“He could care less. Snoozing the day away.” Moving the blanket that covered their young son, Race smiled, running his finger down his cheek. “But if you wake him, he’s yours.”

Saluting, Race grinned. “Aye aye captain.”

Jack started to walk toward the girls as Race followed him. “How are you two holding up?”

“As well as wes can be. It’s been a crazy two months but Is feel like wes can breath and actually have a routine down.” Race grinned.

Jack grinned. “It was mayhem when we brought Tommy home - balancing two kids, one who is independent and able to do some stuff on her own while the other is completely dependent on you.”

“At least you had a learning curve with Sammi before you welcomed Tommy.” Race laughed. “Don’t get mes wrong, Is love that wes got them both at the same time but it’s been a big learning experience that it’s just now, two months later, that wes feel like wes can let our guard down and breathe.”

Nodding, he threw his arm over his brother. “Hell, Kat and Is is still learning. People keeps telling us you’ll get the hang of it but Is feel like we haven’t. It’s been 5 years with Sammi and a year and half since we added a second one.”

“Once yous figure out the secret, clue Spottie and mes in.” Race gave his brother a look as Jack laughed but agreed with him. “Now let’s see if wes can’t get these two moving. Girls, yous picked out a pumpkin yet?”

Crouching down, Jack and Race looked between the two. “Can’t find one?”

“Wells ….” Sammi had her hand on one with a big grin. The pumpkin was massive and probably 30 pounds.

“That’s a little big for you, Sammi.” Jack gave his daughter a grin. “Remember what we said, yous gotta carry it back youself.”

She sighed, walking down the aisle, Ellie behind her giggling. Race shook his head looking at Jack. “She’s her mother.”

“You can say that again.” Jack shook his head following behind the two girls.

“Ta da!” Sammi threw her hands up in the air, grinning at her dad and uncle. “How’s about this one?”

Jack looked the pumpkin over with a grin “I think this is perfect. Ellie did you find one?”

The little girl shook her head, looking at her dad and uncle. “Shall wes go find one?”

Ellie grinned at Race. “Can wes, da?”

Holding out his hand, Race let Ellie take it before they walked down the aisle, leaving Jack and Sammi behind. Race pointed out a few pumpkins along the way but was quickly shot down. “What are yous looking for Elles?”

“Perfct.” She grinned, stopping suddenly in front of a lopsided pumpkin. “This one.”

Crouch down, Race grinned inspecting it. “It’s perfect. Shall wes go show papa?”

“Yea!” She yelled, Race picking up the pumpkin as Ellie danced in front of him leading the way back to the group.

“Did yous find a pumpkin, Ellie?” Spot asked, looking at the excited little girl.

She nodded, enthusiastically, motioning to Race. “Da has it.”

Spot oohed and awed at the pumpkin, grinning at the beaming Ellie. “Should we head to the petting zoo before going on the hayride?”

Everyone was in agreement as they walked over to a different section of the farm. Race took Ben from Spot’s arms before motioning him to go to the petting zoo with Ellie. Spot gave him a look. “Is hate you, you know that.”

“I know but you’ve got to face your goat fears at some point.” Race leaned over and kissed him. “Besides, ours girl is looking for you.”

Leaning against the fence, Race watched Jack, Kat, Spot, Tommy, Sammi and Ellie enter the fenced in pen. Immediately, Ellie had her hand out petting the goats and sheep, giggling loudly. Tommy was in Jack’s arms while Sammi and Kat were petting the sheep.

“What do you think, Ellie?” Spot asked, as a goat was on its hind legs, leaning against her.

“He’s soft, papa.” She giggled as his tongue swiped her arm. “He’s lickig me.”

Spot reached over and gave one a few pat, laughing at Ellie’s excitement. “He likes you, Elles.”

“Daddy!” Tommy clutched tightly to Jack’s shirt, halfway between bewilderment and happiness. “Horse!”

“That’s a goat, Tommy.” Jack gently corrected.

They spent a few minutes in the pen before joining the line for the hayride. Race and Kat were on one side of the wagon with Tommy and Benny while Spot and Jack were on the other with the two girls. “What’s the plan after this?”

Race shrugged, looking at Kat. “I’m thinking lunch then a n-a-p!”

She nodded, watching Tommy pick up some hay and throw it towards his dad and uncle with a grin. “That sounds like a good action plan.”

The hayride took them through the orchards, letting each of them pick an apple or two off the branches before doing a wide loop through the Christmas Tree fields where the driver explained the different kinds. He even mentioned that a few times in the past their trees had been picked for the White House. “Wonder if our pal Roosevelt hand picked his from here?” Race mumbled as Kat grinned and giggled.

As they stepped down from the wagon, Jack and Spot looked at one another. “Should we go find little pumpkins for Tommy and Benny before heading back to the hotel?”

Nodding, Spot looked at Ellie and Sammi. “Wanna go picks out pumpkins for your brothers?”

Both girls cheered and jumped before twirling, giggling as they followed Jack and Spot to the barn where the checkout and a little farmer’s market was. Race and Kat grinned at their significant others before following them.

Sitting outside, Kat put Tommy to his feet, letting him stand next to a pumpkin as she watched all of the families come and go. “How’s Benny doing?”

“The motion of the wagon ride put him back to sleep. I’m just hoping he’ll sleep through the night . . . we’ve been having mixed results with that.” Race said, running a hand over the 2 month old’s head.

Kat nodded. “Both Sammi and Tommy had that too. They’d go through a good stretch of sleeping through the night; then there would be a couple of days when they were up and down constantly throughout the night before going back to those stretches. Luckily, both of them sleep through the night now.”

“Keep rubbing it in. Maybe we’ll take the girls tonight and stick you with the boys.” Race stuck his tongue out at her with a laugh.

“Uh huh . . . empty threats, Racetrack.” She gave him a look, shielding her eyes from the bright sunshine. “You’re losing your touch, tough guy.”

Biting his lip, he had to agree with her but he wouldn’t change it for the world. “It’s hard to believe that Spot, Jack, and I were tough guys who wouldn’t think twice about busting heads and now our days are spent having tea parties and kissing boo boos. It’s crazy how times have changed.”

“But you wouldn’t change it for the world, would you?” Kat said, as he sat next to her on the bench.

Race smiled. “Absolutely, not. I often think back to that cocky 16 year old who thought the world should bow down to him and he was always right and I wonder what he would think of a 25 year old Race.”

“He would probably be in disbelief that he married Spot, let alone that he’s a dad to two pretty incredible kids.” Kat shrugged. “But I think he’d be proud of how his life has turned out. I know I am.”

Looking up at his big sister, Race shook his head. “Don’t make me cry, Katherine Kelly. But I think he would be in disbelief for marrying Spot or having kids.”

“I’m not trying to make you cry but just to add my two cents into your musings.” Kat held onto Tommy’s hand as he moved to another pumpkin to check it out. “Trust me, I often think of 16 year old Katherine and what she would think of marrying Jack. She probably would go nuts - I wasn’t the same kid that you met two years later.”

Race laughed. “Who did 16 year old Kat think she was going to marry?”

“Who knows? Some hoity toity big shot that my father thought would be perfect for me. I was an obedient little girl when I was 16; I didn’t start shooting off my mouth and defying my father until I turned 17.” Kat chuckled. “Dad thought Darcy was a perfect man to settle down with . . . little did he know that Buttons was much more his type.”

“And they’re going to live happily ever after.” Race grinned, knowing the wedding of Darcy and Buttons was coming up shortly.

Jack and Spot came back with Ellie and Sammi in tow with two little pumpkins between them. “Momma, Benny look!”

Sammi stopped short of knocking her brother over with a flourish, presenting it to her mom for inspection. “Its Benny’s pumpin.”

“You picked a good one out.” Kat grinned. “Tommy is going to love it.”

“Whats about mine?” Ellie said, holding hers up to Kat. Both of the pumpkins had bumps all over them, making them quite unique.

Kat looked between the two pumpkins, oohing and awing at the beaming two girls as Jack, Spot, and Race all watched her. “Great job, girls. Your brothers will love them. Now how about we go pay and head back for some lunch?”

The group was in agreement before heading to pay, grabbing some donuts for the next morning before heading back to their hotel. Lunch was a quiet affair as the kids began to get sleepy from the busy morning.

A story was said as the three settled down on the king size bed in Spot and Race’s room. There were a few giggles before they settled down. Jack and Race sat in Jack and Kat’s room waiting while Spot and Kat put the kids down. Jack had Benny in his arms, cuddling him, trying to sooth him to sleep.

Poking her head out of the room, Kat motioned for the two of them to follow her. The two walked to where she was standing and grinned at Kat and Race. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

“It’s the only time any of them are quiet.” Race grinned, shaking his head. “Just enjoy the silence.”

Silence descended on the room and before they knew it, the four were snoring just like their children in the next room.

#Newsies #Newsies Fan Fiction #writing #ask #Drabble #Newsies Drabble #Drabble writing #Drabble prompt #the many adventures of sammi & race #spot conlon x racetrack higgins #Jack Kelly x Katherine Kelly

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yourwakingnightmares · 4 years

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Now, I’ve made no secret that I loathe the new Star Wars movies. However, I do want to take a moment to point out all the potential that was there.

Fans of the movie will often say that people who disliked are...

1. Old school fans who wanted to see the OT cast be the main focus

2. Evil white men who hate women and minorities

3 (and the one I hate the most). Taking a movie about ‘space wizards’ too seriously.

However, this discounts the fact that many people WANTED to like the new movies; many who disliked the movies will admit that there was potential, even with the mess that we were given.

Let’s talk about Kylo Ren. I think Adam Driver did an amazing job with a character who had no internal consistency, or logic. I came out of the trilogy WANTING to like Kylo. I wanted to know more about him, despite being (as one YouTuber put it) the definition of tangled up Christmas Tree lights drenched in yogurt and acid.

Despite this inconsistency, despite his steady flipflopping around the screen, he had so much potential -why did Luke sense this potential for evil in him? Were the Knights of Ren the students who went with him? Why is he so intent on living up to Darth Vader? Where did this hero worship come from? Why was Snoke able to latch on to him? How did he even get to Snoke as a presumably young teenager? Why is he so desperate for Rey to love him back?

(Be advised: Spoilers for all three Star Wars sequels below)

One of the moments that evoked a heartfelt emotion in meme, while watching these movies, the only memorable moment I felt an emotion other than disgust or annoyance watching this, was when Kylo tells Rey, “You’re nothing; a nobody. You have no place in this story,” while seemingly choked with emotion. Here is a man, desperate for this woman to come with him. He’s telling her that, sure, maybe she doesn’t have a place in this large, intergalactic war, but she has a place with him. He doesn’t care that she’s a nobody; he wants her as she is. She can be a nobody to everyone else, but to him, she’s important, and she has a place in his story.

I wanted so much more from this! Is Kylo so desperate for love because everyone was always too busy for him as a child -Leia organizing the Republic, Han at her side? Or, if Han and Leia had broken up before he went off to Luke for training, was he stuck in the middle of their fighting?

While he was training with Luke, what was their relationship? Why did the sting of Luke’s betrayal drive him to become a near-sociopathic mass murderer, trying to resurrect the Empire? Did he love his Uncle? Idolize him? Was Luke the only one there for him as a child? Is that why Luke’s betrayal drove him into such a frenzy?

What about Kylo and Chewbacca? In the Rise of Skywalker, we see that he’s captured Chewbacca, yet we’re given no emotion in this scene.Think of the lost potential here!

“Chewie. I’m sorry it came to this; you were always kind to me, and you don’t deserve this.”

Or how about...

“My father was always so busy with you, Han and Chewie, off to save the world; you were more family to him than I ever was.”

Either of those lines would’ve given us so much more background on the two of them, and would’ve been a highly emotional scene for both the old fans, and the new fans.

Why was he so prone to fits of rage whenever something went poorly? Was he afraid of failure? Afraid that Snoke would turn on him, as Luke had? Was he trying to prove that he could be better than Luke, the uncle who betrayed him?

What was his life like, after leaving Luke? I’m fairly positive we can all agree that Snoke wasn’t ‘kind’ or ‘nurturing’ to Kylo; were failures punished with torture, or humiliation? That would explain the outbursts of rage whenever something doesn’t go according to plan. Was he raised to believe that only Snoke could teach him the true secrets of the Force?

After all, we see that Kylo is incredibly powerful in the Force; he’s able to stop blaster bolts in midair, rather than deflect them. He’s able to pull the information he wants directly from someone’s mind. He’s able to hold his own against Rey in Rise of Skywalker, keeping her from pulling the ship back down.

So why was he content to be on an equal footing with Hux for two movies? Why did he never rise up against Snoke, to take over as Supreme Leader? Why did he allow Snoke to humiliate him in front of Hux? Why would someone as powerful as Kylo Ren allow Snoke to belittle him, calling him a child, in front of Hux, his rival? Why wouldn’t he have argued the point, or at least try to defend his actions?

Let’s switch over to Poe. We’re told that Poe is the ‘greatest pilot in the Resistance’ -that is all we have to work with for 2 and 2/3rds of these movies; no other background is given. Eventually we find out that he was a spice runner (the drug du jour in Star Wars), and he ‘betrayed’ his old crew -however, we don’t know how he ended up as a smuggler, or what that ‘betrayal’ actually was.

For example: in the books, we find out that Han -who didn’t have a last name at the time -was simply a child that a group of smugglers picked up somewhere, and raised by Dewlanna -a female Wookie who took care of him, and protected him until her death in his teenage years. This drives him to leave the smuggling crew, and eventually join the Empire (yeah, Han wanted to be a Tie fighter pilot). However, when he sees a storm trooper beating Chewbacca, he kills the storm trooper to save him, telling Chewie later that he owed a life debt to Dewlanna, and since he’d never been able to repay that debt, he’d saved Chewie.

What if we were given something similar with Poe? Perhaps he and Zorii were orphans together on Kijimi; they grew up together, and always had each other’s backs. Eventually, through their street smarts, they and their friends turn themselves into a gang, eventually earning enough money to buy their own ship, and begin smuggling spice. However, perhaps during one of their smuggling runs, they accidentally kill an innocent bystander; perhaps Poe sees one of their crew OD and turn into a mindless vegetable after a bad hit of spice. Perhaps he sees the First Order kill a settlement of villagers while they’re off world. Any number of these things could drive Poe to forsake his old life, and flee to the Resistance. He leaves everything behind, including Zorii, the woman he loves, to try and clear his conscience.

Any of these would’ve given us a reason to understand Poe better; as it stands, all we know is that he used to run drugs, and now he’s just a super good pilot who defected to the Resistance for some reason, and ended up as a Commander. How did he learn to fly an X-wing? How did he become such a great pilot? How did he become a Commander?

We see, frequently and repeatedly, that Poe is afraid of nothing; that he’s able to resist interrogation without giving up information, forcing Kylo to eventually use the Force to pull the information from him. We see that’s he brave, and he is -at heart -a good man; the death of the villagers in the opening scene of The Force Awakens shows that he was unwilling to leave this village of innocent people to their fate; that despite being hopelessly outnumbered, outmanned, and outclassed, he stays to try and help them.

Yet we have no idea why he does these things; we have no background information on him, so we’re unable to truly appreciate these actions. Is he just a guy who won’t ever run from a fight? Does he have a personal beef with the First Order? Did he believe that he would be able to buy time for someone to come and save him?

We don’t know, so his actions mean nothing to us. Hell, for all the background we have on this character, he could’ve been a blind idiot, who couldn’t see how many storm troopers there were until it was too late, and his actions were simply him screwing up, and not heroic at all.

And then there’s Finn. Finn, who was the first Storm trooper given a face. The disappointment with his character was immense. How did he end up so happy go lucky, so bumbling, given his supposed brainwashing into something that had one purpose: to kill.

We’re given the impression that the storm trooper Poe kills -the one who leaves the blood on Finn’s helmet -was his friend; how did they become friends? What impact did this other storm trooper have on him? How was he even able to form an emotional connection with someone, if he was raised as a child soldier, and brainwashed to hate and kill?

What, exactly, did this ‘training’ consist of? Was it propaganda, like the Nazi Youth? Was it torturous and cruel, punishing them for any act of kindness, or empathy? A mix of the two?

And how was Finn able to overcome this upbringing? How as he able to remain such an empathetic, protective adult, with a sense of humor on top of it? Could any stormtrooper defect as easily? Was it something from his home world, some small memory of a ‘life before’ that he was able to hold on to? Did something happen during his training to jolt him out of his ‘programming’?

With this character alone, the possibilities were endless; this was completely uncharted territory. We could have been given any background on this, and it would’ve been brilliant. However, we were given nothing more than it happened.

If we were given answers to even ONE of the numerous questions I’ve asked, even just one per character, it would’ve given us reason to root for these people. Reason to love them, reason to hate them, or a reason to sympathize with them.

Look at the characters from the OT -we know that Luke was only searching for adventure, to begin with. To save the damsel in distress, the chance to be a hero -something that a bored farm boy from the middle of nowhere couldn’t pass up, particularly when we’re told his friends were off fighting.

Leia was raised by her adoptive father into the Rebellion- Bail Organa was one of the founders of the Rebellion, and one of its most prominent leaders. After the destruction of her home world, we see that it becomes a personal vendetta for her, to make the Empire pay for the deaths of her friends, her family, and her planet.

Han was a smuggler: he was just there to get paid, and accidentally got stuck fighting. He insists he’s only in it for the money, a cold-blooded businessman, until he starts to fall for Leia. Until he realizes that Luke needs him, and will die without his aid.

In the OT, we’re given characters with background, characters with depth. Characters whose actions we understand, because we’re given details about them as characters.

And before someone says, ‘time constraints’... I would like to point out that these three movies combined were seven hours, and fifteen minutes long. Seven hours and change, for zero character development. Hell, we spend 152 minutes (TLJ) watching a slow speed space chase, that -as it turns out -was redundant anyways. 2/3rds of The Last Jedi ended up being completely pointless, as we find out, and Finn and Rose’s quest was pointless. Finn’s mutiny was pointless.

Most of the suggestions I made above could’ve been given with a line or two of dialogue.

Here are a few quick lines that would answer many of these questions. Mind you, I’ve taken minimal time to come up with these; most of them are off the top of my head as I sit here.

Kylo:

“No one has ever understood me; I’ve been alone my entire life.”

“Luke was my hero; my idol. I looked up to him, I wanted to be him, and he betrayed me. Tried to kill me in sleep. He didn’t even have the courage to look me in the eye.”

“My parents didn’t know how to deal with my strength in the Force, so they shipped me off to Luke as soon as they could; they didn’t even try to understand me.”

Snoke: “Careful, Kylo; you know the price of your arrogance. Or do I need to remind you again? Do not think yourself above being taught a lesson about your station.”

Poe:

“Yes, I ran spice, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? I was young, I was stupid, and I was just trying to survive. You wanna criticize me for that, go ahead. But I had nothing, and nobody aside from Zurii, and we did what we had to do.”

While being tortured by the First Order: “You guys think this is torture? My friends used to hit me harder just to wake me up!”

When Holdo tells him to just ‘have hope’: “Look, lady, I grew up in Kijimi; ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna feed us, ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna give us somewhere to sleep with a roof over our heads. Doing nothing gets you killed faster than doing the wrong thing.”

While in the desert of Passaana: “There’s always First Order patrols in outer rim worlds like this; when I was a kid on Kijimi, they’d beat you down just for walking in front of them.” or “There were festivals like this when I was a kid on Kijimi; I used to watch ‘em and wonder what it would be like to actually celebrate it. Don’t suppose we have time now.”

Finn:

“Look, something about me was always off, okay? I don’t know why, but I always just... knew that what we were learning was wrong.”

“I don’t remember much about my parents, but I remember my mom used to tell me stories. About Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, and their adventures.”

“There was one man, who trained us. He was... nice, in his own way. He used to try and help us when he could, comfort us after we’d been punished. They made me kill him.”

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid being the killer they wanted me to be; now you’re asking me to become a killer for your side.”

These lines would’ve taken a minute; one minute, perhaps two at most. 12 lines that would’ve given us details about these characters. Even at two minutes, that’s 24 minutes across a series of movies that was 429 minutes long.

Instead, we were given mere hints of the characters these people could’ve been. The smallest glimpses of stories and backgrounds that would’ve made these characters amazing.

That aggravates me worse than the terrible story-telling; there was potential here, and they just squandered it.

#star wars #the force awakens #the last jedi #rise of skywalker #spoilers #kylo ren #poe dameron #finn #characters #character development #so much wasted potential here

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ladywynneoutlander · 4 years

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Heart’s Abundance

More sweet times on the Ridge as William finds his place.

Part 2 Hearthside

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6

After our harvest meal the afternoon passes in pleasant repletion. The adults scatter to various corners to doze and chat. Jem, Germain, and Fanny disappear outside. I can hear them laughing as I lay a quilt over a sleeping Mandy. She took to John Quincey immediately, and is now curled up beside him on the settle.

This state of peaceful repose lasts approximately an hour. Then Jamie stands and stretches himself, back popping. He looks at William, “Will ye walk wi’ me? I can reacquaint you with the place.”

William stands as well, nodding, “Yes, of course.” He remains a bit formal, and I wish I knew more about their last meeting.

I watch them from the kitchen door as they go, boots crunching the fallen leaves with each step, so alike in gait and height that no one could fail to see them for what they are, a father and his son.

When I turn around Ian is there with his baby in his arms. He stares thoughtfully at the door for a moment before sitting down at the table. He says nothing and I wait patiently, taking the baby and feeling his warm heavy weight. Finally, Young Ian turns to me, “Ye know Auntie, I don’t know why yon man has come, but I think maybe it’s to do with you as well as Uncle Jamie.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so Ian. Whatever would William want with me?”

Ian gives a small smile, “Maybe he needs ye.”

I gently rock the baby, not looking up as I say, “No. What use could I possibly be?”

Ian touches my arm to draw my attention. His brown eyes are soft. “Ye can be kind. Ye can be a comfort.”

His voice becomes more matter-of-fact. “The Mohawk do say women are great healers of body and spirit. They provide strength and consistency to all.” He smiles at me, “Maybe William needs to find his strength just now.”

I nod, but I’m not convinced. “Maybe.”

We sit a moment longer, enjoying the peace. I smooth the baby’s soft downy hair, then give him my finger, watching in fascination as the tiny hand closes around it even in sleep.

Finally, Ian moves to go. “Just think on it, Auntie, aye?” He takes the little one and leaves to find Rachel.

I stay by myself for a time, and it comes to me how much William has been through. The loss of two mothers (three if you count me) and Jane. Consistency indeed. Also, the loss of his very identity. He had been loved, that much I knew, but must feel very alone and confused just now. I remember how difficult the same situation was for Brianna. She felt heartbroken and torn, betrayed. Compassion wells in me, and as the sun sinks behind the trees I feel a tear slide warm down my cheek.

-o0OOO0o-

That evening, lying close and warm next to Jamie, I hear how their meeting went.

Jamie took the boy to the White Spring, that place of truth. William was quiet on the trail, turned inward. When they arrived, Jamie broke the thin scrim of ice and took a cold mouthful. William did the same, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Jamie settled himself on a boulder and smiled at the boy. “So, if ye’ll forgive my asking, what brings ye to the Ridge?”

William didn’t answer immediately. He sat as well and drew in a deep breath before speaking. “First, I should like to thank you for your assistance in the matter of Jane, and also for the care you’ve given her sister.”

Jamie waves his hand in dismissal, “’Twas nothing lad. Any decent man would have done the same.”

William gave a mild snort, “I take leave to doubt that. Still, not any man did. You did, and with barely a thought. I knew M--,” he hesitated, then went on, “Mother Claire, both she and my father say you are an honorable man. Apparently, they are right.”

They sat with this for a moment, admiring the slant of golden sunlight through the yellow of chestnut and birch. When William didn’t say more Jamie ventured, “The thought had occurred to me that ye may be in some trouble?” He made the last into a question.

William shrugged irritably. “No. Not trouble exactly. I have someone to find, my cousin Ben, but I cannot continue in that search until spring. That’s not why I’m here.” He stood up suddenly, and paced a bit before taking a deep breath and facing Jamie squarely. “I have come to ask if I might stay for a time. Here,” he adds, as if there were doubt, “on Fraser’s Ridge.”

Jamie was surprised, but quickly brought his face back to neutrality. He still thought William likely needed help in some way, but maybe it isn’t the kind he needed before. He stood and extended a hand, grasping the lad’s shoulder. “Aye, of course, ye’re always welcome.”

Wiliam takes a step backward, away from him, but not in a harsh way. “Thank you. I don’t require anything. I can sleep in the barn or wherever is convenient.”

Jamie smiled at him, “Aye, that’s good, but we can likely find ye a bed.”

They made their way home in the last light of the day. Jamie felt as though a new path had opened before him, unknown and steep, but one that led to a bonny place.

-o0OOO0o-

The next day we bid farewell to John Quincey, off to overwinter with the Cherokee. William stays. He gradually fits into the routine of the Ridge; hunting, doing farm chores, and joining Roger or Bree whenever they venture out. He is beloved instantly by the children, playing with the boys, talking with Fanny, and carrying Mandy perched high on his shoulder. Still, he is mostly quiet, listening and observing.

I can tell Brianna is pleased, eager to embrace this new brother. William seems equally in awe of her, and they seem to find joy in each other. More than once I catch Jamie watching them, a look of quiet happiness on his face.

One day I come into the study to find Jamie looking out the window. Outside Brianna and William are exercising the horses, walking them in circles and brushing their shaggy winter coats. He doesn’t turn, but he must have sensed me, because he holds his hand out toward me, inviting. I take it and he draws me against him. I circle my arms around his waist, and feel his arms come around me in turn, the warmth of him a comfort and a blessing.

Jamie is still engaged in the scene outside, “I never thought to see such a grand thing, Sassenach.”

I give him a squeeze of acknowledgement and laugh. “Neither did I! I nearly fell off the porch when I saw William.”

Jamie smiles as well, “Aye, and ye weren’t the only one.”

He holds me for a while longer. I look up at Jamie’s face, happy now, but with tiny lines framing his striking blue eyes. I can feel the scars on his back beneath his shirt, and it comes to me how many hardships he faced to bring us to this moment. I am moved with love for him, and lay a hand over his heart. “Jamie, I want you to know. I’m glad he’s here. We all are.”

Jamie takes my hand and turns to face me fully, “I know ye are. You are a wonder, truly. He isna yours, and it isna right that he should be here to torment you. Thank ye Claire, for welcoming the lad.”

“Posh,” I say gently. “He’s yours, Jamie, for that alone I would love him. But also…” I pause, looking outside while I gather my thoughts. “Also, I love him for himself. He’s a fine boy and he was very kind when I spent time with him in Boston.” I know Jamie doesn’t like to recall my marriage to John Grey, but it matters here. “I think- maybe, I can be there for him, maybe be a sort of mother to him.”

Jamie doesn’t answer and I glance up. I am surprised to see unshed tears glimmer in his eyes. “He couldna have a finer one,” he says huskily. He pulls me close then, bends his head, and kisses me. His mouth is soft and his arms are strong, and all is warmth and hope between us.

-o0OOO0o-

The evenings are long in winter. It is the time for songs, and fires, hearth and home. When the family gathers late in the evening, the children tucked in bed, we often tell stories. We hear Highland tales of kelpies and fairies, farmers and lairds. We hear personal stories about family and friends, also C.S. Lewis, E.B. White, Louisa May Alcott, the lives of Saints, romantic poetry, and Greek heroes. And in each telling, regardless of the subject, we reveal a bit more of ourselves to one another.

It is nearly a fortnight before William tells a story of his own, venturing forth with a story about Sergeant Cutter that has laughter ringing from the rafters, fit to wake the entire Ridge. He speaks more often after that, sometimes tales of adventure, and rarely, of his boyhood. Once he even mentions a groom named MacKenzie.

Tonight we are up particularly late, and the room has grown quiet. The air is heavy, and I know we will wake on the morrow under a blanket of white. Into this expectancy William speaks. Quietly, his elbows on his knees as he watches the hearthfire, he begins a story of Isobel.

“Mother Isobel loved Christmas. She festooned every railing and mantel with greenery. The whole house smelled grand. Even if it were only the two of us, as it often was after we lost grandfather, we sang carols, and had pudding and candies. She made it special every year… magical. To a boy.” He pauses and we wait, listening to the gentle crackle and pop of dried pine wood.

“One year there was a terrible storm. I remember the wind howling down the chimneys and causing the yule log to flare up and wave about. I was frightened and began to cry and whinge. I was a little devil truly. I was really crying from loneliness though, and from being left behind. Mother Isobel somehow knew the truth of it. She took me onto her lap and stroked my hair. ‘Willie, my darling, sometimes those we love cannot be with us. We may wish it fervently, but circumstances cannot be changed. Absence doesn’t mean they love us less, or we them. Indeed, it is often their care for us that keeps them away. They must do what is necessary. But remember love, they are never gone from our hearts.’”

William looks at Jamie. “I thought those words ridiculous then. I felt abandoned, and I let my grief turn to anger at those who left me.” He takes a deep breath, “Now though, I think I understand, and I find Mother Isobel was wise indeed.”

“Aye, that she was,” Jamie says kindly.

We sigh collectively. Roger pulls a guitar into his lap, strumming a chord. “Let’s have a tune. A song to love’s sacrifices,” he says in his rough voice. He turns to Brianna and smiles. “They are always worth it.”

As Roger plays my mind wanders. First to William and his story. Yes, maybe healing of a kind is needed, hopefully has begun already. I will do all I can to help, and the peace of the Ridge will be a balm if William lets it. There is no outside world, no war here. Not yet. Not in winter.

The sacrifices of love. I remember Frank and dear Uncle Lamb. Then further, to Geillis, Dougal, Rupert, and Colum. They all loved, whether people or causes or places or things, and made their choices accordingly. And where were they now? I shudder and Jamie pulls me closer against him, a buttress against the past. I lean on him gratefully. We two know better than anyone the heavy sacrifice that true love can require, and times like this are all the more precious for the knowing. So I return to the present, put my head on Jamie’s chest, and simply listen.

Thanks for reading! I promise family fun next week!

#outlander #heart's abundance

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dandelliongirl · 3 years

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What a year

2020 was..

The last time I wrote anything it was April, and now it is the 23rd of December and I’m about to go spend Christmas with my family. My last failed attempt at christmas bread is in the oven (for some reason it didn’t proof at all, I guess I put too much flour in..) and I’m cooking up some Christmas porridge on the stove. Watch me burn that in a moment too.. For some reason this whole autumn has been a very stressful disaster. I am still working from home and just logged myself off of work until the 7th of January 2021. Maybe because I’ve been working from home it feels difficult to get into holiday mode. At least we got some snow today so it looks beautiful.

Spring and summer 2020 were an absolute dream! With no responsibilities and the possibility to work from anywhere I got to spend so much time with my family and at our summer house away from the stress of the real world. I could not have dreamt of a better summer, and apart from strawberry picking (at an actual farm, not just from my own strawberry plants) I got to finish off my summer’s to-do list. I even made a cute little summer video with my old Canon EOS 100D (yes - I have a new Canon EOS 90D now!). Endless days of exploration, swimming, biking, sauna, gardening, having lunch with the midsummer roses, baking rhubarb galettes with my own rhubarb from the garden, biking to the ice cream van, SUP-boarding with dad and spending so much time outdoors made me happier than I could ever be. I cannot believe how many beautiful things COVID has given me despite it’s awful impact on the world.

The start of the autumn semester was chaotic to say the least. Practically all of our system integrations are behind one developer, and he happened to be on vacation when everything went down, and study rights did not transfer correctly. This lead to an insane rush of support requests across the board, and lots of extra stress. I was exhausted and scared after last autumn’s disasters and definitely didn’t need another one to start the new semester. I’m starting to seriously fear August... Other universities have tens of people in their technical support, and we have TWO (sometimes 3). In more positive news I was given a permanent job contract starting August, which was amazing, and makes me so grateful especially during a year when many lose their jobs and get laid off. I guess that also contributes to my levels of stress as I cannot hide behind “I just work here for another few months”, but I have to actually take responsibility and ownership as a permanent team member.

Basically a lot of things escalated at work this autumn because our entire staff is way over burdened with COVID changes and the systems not working in an ideal fashion. Because our organisation does not have clear and defined process ownerships many changes come alongside the implementation of new systems, which puts me as a system admin (and not a process expert) in an awkward position. Hopefully our organisation will be able to develop and reconfigure responsibilities with some outside help, but for some reason my hopes aren’t very high.. All in all the anger and frustration of the organisation has been reflecting on the way people treat us and each other and as an empath it has been very exhausting. Luckily my new team is amazing and I’m having so much fun working with them - even though we aren’t physically working together at the office. I cannot imagine how it would be if my previous colleague hadn’t left. I hope she is happy and thriving as well!

All in all what got me through the autumn was the fact that I got to work from home. Being able to take a 10-15 minute nap when things got overwhelming pretty much saved me. Also the fact that I can wear whatever, make tea or snacks whenever I need to and don’t have to spend time moving from one location to the other. My guy got his own computer desk and a proper chair, and we’ve both been working from our very crammed but cozy livingroom. Even though our hobbies have been on and off I’ve gotten a few moments to myself and have also gotten used to doing my thing even though he is always here. No big relationship drama apart from the occasional little argument.

Ballet and body combat got to continue in person for most of the season. The last couple of weeks of ballet classes were on Teams, and the last body combat class was on Facebook with the season ending a couple of weeks early, but other than that having hobbies outside the house definitely helped. I have also loved having my ballet friend stay home instead of studying abroad. Obviously it sucks for her because it has meant a lot of changes to her plans, but I’ve needed her so much, and enjoyed our walks, hanging out together, going to ballet and the hours we spent outside talking on our way back. Ballet classes have been pretty easy as we only go to pointe and adult classes, but at least we are having fun together, and I like to somewhat maintain my skills even though I am not improving by miles. It’s also easier for the body as I’m definitely no longer a teenager. Starting next year we’ll have a fancy new studio!

After the relaxing summer it has definitely felt like I don’t have enough hours in a day or days in a week to do everything I need to. I cannot believe how I used to do all this and so much more pre-COVID but I guess it’s all because Animal Crossing didn’t take anywhere between 30 minutes to 5-8 hours a day. Oops. Needless to say I have been loving ACNH even though the Halloween and Turkey Day events were a bit too easy compared to New Leaf. I have high hopes for Toy Day tomorrow (YIKES! TOMORROW?) even though I haven’t had to go through the usual process of noting down all my villagers’ wishes, which I definitely miss. I am sad the diy recipe RNG has been so bad though. I’ve spent a couple of days spawning balloons on my beach, and never got the big Christmas tree diy in time. Maybe I’ll get it tonight but it’s definitely too late for this year.. Maybe next year then. I didn’t struggle this much with the maple and mush series diys..

So yeah, last summer me and my friend finished our old photography project and I edited the last sets of photos to give the finished book for her as a Christmas present. I love the project a lot because the learning curve is so apparent between photoshoots, and I found my “style” throughout the process. My EOS 100D started to get weird electronical bugs and definitely wasn’t running very well anymore, so after insane amounts of research I decided to get the EOS 90D from a Black Friday sale. I still need a memory card and a new camera bag for it since it’s so much bigger, but I’ve already planned out some future photoshoots and the theme of the new project, which can be described as “Adventure”, “Expedition” or “Discovery”. I just hope my friend will have time to model for me because I’m yearning to go try my new camera out.

My boyfriend and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary with a friend couple who started dating a week after we did. We took an extended weekend trip to a national park, a spa and a rental cabin. It was so much fun and a very special way to celebrate 10 years together. Especially with an exceptional year like this one has been.

Yesterday me and mum went to granny and grandpa’s place to help with the last of their Christmas preparations, take over some food and sing Christmas songs. I took our old piano book with me and mum played the piano while we sang. Grandpa got teary eyed during a special song and it was so incredibly bittersweet. I don’t want to lose my grandparents but I know it won’t be long since they are both approaching 100 years. I am so thankful for them, and for the time I’ve gotten to spend with them. I just wish I could remember more of it. It seems so unfair that we never have enough time with all our loved ones, and there are so many childhood memories other people remember that I don’t. I wish I could go back in time and observe myself spending time with my grandparents to memorise everything. If I ever have children I’m going to take so many photos and videos to preserve as much as I can for them.

In my post from April I wrote that I had been looking at houses and vacant lots. Well, the house of a childhood friend of mine is listed and I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve arranged my mortgage and left an offer. The sellers didn’t accept my first offer so now I’m going to see the house again on the 30th to see if it’s wort raising my offer. I like the house but it’s definitely a bit inconvenient as it is a 3 storey house and way too big and expensive for our current needs. I just really like the area and it is one of the best houses in that neighborhood. I’m going to let things progress naturally though, and if I end up with the house then it was meant to be. If someone else makes a higher offer I won’t be upset either since we have no immediate need to move. It’s just a bit crammed in our current apartment and I would definitely like to have an actual office for my photography equipment, and a sewing machine/crafting space.

Looks like my christmas bread cracked pretty badly but at least it rose a little in the oven.. Hopefully it is edible. At least the one I made for granny and grandpa turned out better.. Time to go scarf down the last of my porridge (which I didn’t burn by the way!) and then try to get all my stuff over to mum and dad’s place. Christmas preparations this year have been crazy busy and I definitely regret not being able to enjoy the season enough but hopefully I’ll get more in the spirit tonight. I’m really happy with the gifts I got mum, dad and my guy this year (online and early in October/November to avoid the rush).

I’m hoping to make a new year’s post on here as well either before 2021 or during the first week. I just like writing things down so that I can look back on where I’ve been. :)

Happy holidays whether you’re spending them with your loved ones (in real life or through a video call) or alone.

#personal #diary #December2020

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