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#thanks for getting the door but

shoku-and-awe · 1 month

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PSA: “Can I pet your dog?” doesn’t count as asking if you’re not gonna wait for the answer 😑

#thanks for getting the door but #can i have a quick talk with your parents #and maybe your insurer??#i was scared that would not go as smoothly as it did #what were you thinking? don’t touch strange dogs!

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leighsartworks216 · 6 months

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Rogue Tav who treats picking locks the same way the Lockpicking Lawyer does

Oh nooo it's locked *jams the lockpick in and wiggles it around with the most bored expression and it opens in a second* Wow sooo secure

Astarion challenging them to see who can open a padlock faster and Tav is like okay sure

They ask for two padlocks. Astarion thinks they're going to try showing him up by unlocking them both before him

The timer starts

Tav hits the padlock open with the other and stares dead at Astarion as he's only just got the pick in the lock

#this is the funniest shit to me #oh its sealed with magic?? yeah a good ol jimmy will probably get it open #'ah another locked door' 'let me get that for you dear-' 'already opened it sweetheart but thanks'#astarion #tav #rogue tav #baldur's gate 3

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samwwise · 8 months

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If you say so. But then again, other people's love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own.

#good omens #goodomensedit #goodomensgifs #crowley #david tennant #good omens 2 #he's like well THANKS nina for unlocking that particular door that's been sealed for 6000 years #oh well time to get absolutely TROLLIED #myedits #gif

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heybiji · 2 months

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Any other hair styles that Dandelion would like to try?

dande gets to try on so many looks because of his disguises that that's where he gets to play with his look most, so usually he's not overly fussed with how he looks normally (I think he does the two ties of hair at the front out of habit from his forgotten years in the feywild). he's had lots of different hairstyles over the past century, though!

though it's a joke with my group that i will allow my character to be maimed horrifically but they can NEVER get a bad haircut

#ask biji #dungeons and dragons #dnd character #dnd art #dnd oc #dandelion treehollow #the cropped short hair i refer to as his drug den years lol #one session dande almost walked through a door with a spell on it that would make all of a person's hair fall off #SCREAMS #but actually dande would be cool with it lol ME THOUGH I WOULD BE CRYING EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY FOR 24 HOURS #thank you for the ask i love getting to talk about dande!!!

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heph · 5 months

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I bought Bloodweave candles from Planeshift Candles and I don't want them to know how much I love and obsess over their candles (we are mutuals) so now I'm yelling about it on tumblr instead of twitter SO!

Gale smells of like a . Sweet masculine cologne and Astarion smells citrusy (bergamot...) and I've been letting them perfume my room for the past few days and yall I'm just thinking about Gale's tent smelling like this 😭😭😭

#i think gale sleeps in his own tent and astarion joins him in the dead of night like a cat #you know when cats scratch at the door and wander into your room and cuddle on the bed yeah like that #bloodweave scented room i am so happy #also i basically bought gale took a sniff and went well. headcanon accepted NWISBSJSJ #UGHHHH i needed to yell about my candles theyre so wonderful i love them so much #okay. i got it out of my system. cheers !#its currently oos so yall cant get it now but i def recommend it #im kind of a huge fan...#im so normal #okay thats all thank you for reading #bloodweave

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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 11

FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.

He had not slept very well the night before.

He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).

He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)

He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?

He definitely ate too much turkey.

His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.

His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.

He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-

He clenches his eyes close.

And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.

FF does not handle swerving cars very well.

He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.

The car swerves over the rumble strip.

A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.

“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.

He says both are fine but…

Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.

He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.

“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.

The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.

They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.

The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.

But Nicky had looked really tired.

So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.

Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.

It is not the last time he sees Andrew.

***

Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.

He is wrong.

He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.

He thinks about the car ride.

‘I don’t like swerving cars.’

FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.

Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.

It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.

Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.

Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.

Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.

Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.

“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.

Where was he?

Right.

FF didn’t like swerving cars.

It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.

Still.

“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.

FF should be asleep.

FF is not asleep.

It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.

“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.

It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.

***

FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.

He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.

His flashcards are making so much sense right now.

Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.

“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.

‘It won’t happen again’

FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.

TWO WHOLE FAVORS.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

The answer was that he WASN’T.

Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.

‘It won’t happen again’

There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.

He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.

It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.

He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.

He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES

Per y’all’s requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #FF's logical reasoning has not ever been his strong suit #But it really tanks when he's hitting levels of manic tired #Andrew goes back into the room with the water for him and Neil #Andrew: FF isn't mad about the car thing #Neil: Oh thank god #Neil: Wait did you hear the door just now?#Andrew: No #Neil: Oh okay I'm sure it's fine.#My search history is a nightmare now #Could Neil get a yeast infection? I'm sure the answer is readily available for me #I thought FOOLISHLY #I got like 12 different think pieces on it when I wanted a YES or a NO #Now Amazon wants to sell me creams that I do NOT need #This is what I get for having searched it on my iphone in the google app #I should have waited to get home and search in Firefox #But I (ever the fool) needed my answers now #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG Shitpost #Andreil #FF - Pt. 11

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puppetmaster13u · 8 months

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Prompt 23?

DPxDC merfolk-esqu Au where the Infinite Realms is akin to a giant ecto-ocean. Ghosts look similar to merfolk, though some more deep-sea esque or alien while others look more human. Some look more human when in the living realm (unless summoned) while others don’t change.

This also shifts to ghost-speak, which is similar to things like whale calls mixed with dying screams and other echoes of their deaths. The crackle of a housefire, the rumble of electricity, the crackle of breaking rocks, the crash of heavy waves. It’s a beautiful but haunting song.

Danny, being a Halfa, can of course shift between human and ghost, but this has resulted in his ghost form being only the slightest bit humanoid while his human form looks too human. Too perfect, almost fae like while his ghost form looks like some sort of galaxy-esque deep sea creature with hands and a torso.

This is a bit of an issue when he ends up chasing one of his rogues out of Amity and runs into people who don’t know about ghosts. Who in turn call the heroes about the two monsters fighting in the fields.

#at this point I don't know the number but whatever lol #Naughty ghosts get put in fish tanks #They better hope they haven't hurt the lil space baby or else the big dad time eel will come knocking #ghost speak #the issue isn't helped on if they can't understand phantom or the ghosts #merfolk au #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny fenton #justice league #Danny is like a baby super predator to other ghosts #they don't want to kill him lest the parent comes knocking but they also don't want him skulking about their territories either #They don't realize Amity is part of his territory they're just goin through the door to see the living realm again #The heroes are more wary about Phantom than the rogue thanks to him being more creachur looking #The rogue is shrieking angrily and also terrified of if they make the baby space ancient upset *while they're in space*

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vivi-the-sky-kid · 2 months

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Psst

Ya wanna know my technique for getting around 17.5 candles a day without going Everywhere?

Geyser -> Brook Candle Cake and Light Farm -> Grandma -> Sunset Turtle

Then just do:

Whatever realm has the treasure candles for the day

Basic Vault (focus on the candle cakes)

Village of Dreams and Hermit Valley cakes

And then maybe the bouquets from Performance, the cake in Wind Paths, and then the cake in Starlight Desert (since the path to it is right next to the one in Wind Paths)

Super fast and doesn't take too much effort aside from getting to the timed events on time and dealing with Vault

#sky children of the light #also make sure to grab the cakes n big plant in sanctuary #i cannot stress enough how thankful i am for those shared memories and spaces in vault #that get you through the doors to get the candle cakes #because seeing a chibi clip through when there are 3 other people in the area #or seeing a group of people leave even when they would complete the amount needed for the door #has filled me with more rage than i can handle #also shout out to the people who put light burning shared spaces around the light farms #makes it so much easier #in general I recommend focusing on big ticket items like candle cakes and big dark plants over just fully running the whole realm

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theloveinc · 2 months

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OKAY hear me out but touya WITH a job getting ready at your cute vanity and pink room. struggling to put up his cargo pants/ slacks with the belt, while running over to get his coat off of the fuzzy pink chair in the corner. he's forced to fix his hair and check if his face looks the least presentable in your mirror filled with polaroids before he goes out and it's SO funny to watch him do that omg. i'm gonna die

(pt. i!)

WAHHH mismatched socks, the elastic of his calvin kleins (that u bought him) peeking out at his backside; he nearly trips over his work bag that's waiting for him on the floor and practically slides right into your full-length mirror--you're really rooting for him and even though he wouldnt say it, he'd try to strangle himself if he lost his job for being late just one too many times--because he's rushing to get out the door.

you can hear him from the kitchen where you're putting together lunches (not for him specifically, but because you already make something for yourself, you might as well...you're welcome, touya), AND YES IT'S SO HARD not to laugh when the door bursts open and he's looking like a little fool with his black and white hair actually combed down and smudges around his eyes from trying + failing to get your eyeliner off of him.

(also, did he use your hairspray that was sitting on your vanity? maybe. okay, yes. though it's no surprise he knows where everything you own is lmfao)

he stills refuses to let you put things in a lunch box, but no way in HELL he's not shoving the wrapped sandwich and bento full of fruit into his bag before !!! kissing you goodbye!!!

it's truly like a dream come true 'coz even though part of him feels like a DOG having to work for the man, making you happy is what MAKES HIM HAPPY and being able to fill your (and now! his) room with more cute and pink things is his new favorite hobby...

(and even though he blushes like hell doing it, the next lunch date he's picking you up from, he's paying the whole table's bill in CASH and not taking no for an answer. makes him feel the best he has in a while. even though he's still eating everyone's leftovers lmao.)

slay the house down HOUSTON I'M DECEASED!!!!

#dabi #sorry my grammar went oUT THE DOOR WITH THIS #HE (YOUR IDEAS ANON) MAKE ME INSNANNANANENENENSNSNANANNENEN #also him in big doc martens I AM ASDJFLKAJDHFJKADHSFNJKADHJN #i fiend.... for him.......#and i love u anon thank u for this blessing #also i wonder what he does for work i've been trying to think!!#i def think it's something funny like the dmv or post office or something #bUT IDK MAYBE it's something else entirely!!#this dabi universe is everything to me #also if u have ur little kitten nibbles too <3 and he finally can afford to buy it expensive food #WAH #he's so ... boywife like truly his friends( shiggy toga twice mags all of them) are all . 'okay when did YOU get married?#and he's like shut up . but then asks if he can invite them over for dinner sometime akljdfladjfa #yes now that u pay rent boi #MWAH #caitie things #anon #gen

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