#thank you anon i owe you my LIFE also it means a lot that you wanted to show meeee aw
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for me, it isn't really about "shipping" them. based on how much we see the whole cast on camera and the nature of the videos, it's almost like a big second friend group for us and a place to hang out with them. for me at least, that is the relationship that is presented for me as the audience; as one of them in a way since there are a lot of ways to interact like comments and suggestions.
with all of that and the years we've all watched them, for me it just feels like rooting for two of my friends to go for a relationship, which is in itself harmless, whether or not they go through with it it isn't up to us just like if they were in our friend groups in person.
it feels like i've seen two friends almost grow up (as young adults) together, have amazing chemistry, care for each other, and become true best friends, but also share how they've struggled with relationships in the past. if they can struggle to find a partner outside and are already such a good match, it seems too good to pass up. i want two of my "friends" to be happy regardless of the risks they might have with working together. if i were ian and anthony they would already have my blessing, but the decision is truly only up to both of them.
i also don't believe we should ever 1) use the word "proof" and 2) go through things they haven't openly shared with us in the same way we'd never do that to our other friends in real life. just because there are two screens between us, doesn't make it ok for that to happen. if it isn't something we wouldn't do to our other friends, we especially shouldn't do it with them. i think the more we go over that boundary, the farther they pull back from it.
we do owe them a little better. anything we would do with friends in real life is completely valid, and fun, and comes from a place of wanting people to be happy while 100% not having the pressure on them to do so. anything we wouldn't do in person just pulls them closer against their chests.
the more we are willing to take from their personal lives, the less they are willing to share from their personal lives because people will keep trying to take more.
they've shared in the past they are ok with people shipping them all in good fun, but i just get a little sad sometimes thinking about how they must feel when we do step over that line. i think when courtney said "guys, don't speculate online about other people's relationships online" in the recent get 7th video, i think this is what they were referring to. when we go further than what they previously said they were comfortable with.
i hope this was well put and doesn't come across as antagonistic toward the community because i mean it in the exact opposite way.
(i really like how respectful you are in these responses and posts, keep it up!)
hey anon thank you so much for this!! its super insightful and i would love to discuss. you raise a lot of important and true points and i think its very important to think about this stuff from time to time!!!
for me at least, that is the relationship that is presented for me as the audience
i agree! smosh has built an excellent rapport with their audience and have such an intricate and unique business/brand model that can be personal to audience and to the company whilst still accommodating boundaries and maintaining respect!! i could honestly go on about it for pages and pages but i wont right now because theres much more to discuss here!!
whether or not they go through with it it isn't up to us
i am on the same page 10000% and it's likely you've seen me post about this on here before. as much as we are fans and part of a community where we can ship and make fanart and rpf and theorise and discuss, we are also smosh's AUDIENCE. not to mention that shayne and court's relationship (romantic or otherwise) is a very real part of their personal lives away from smosh and we do not get to decide what they do or don't share with us.
it feels like i've seen them almost grow up (as young adults) together, have amazing chemistry, care for each other, and become true best friends
absolutely 🥹 i think a lot of you will agree with me or relate in the sense that i have been able to grow up with smosh, and watched them grow and become who they are all whilst figuring that stuff out for myself!! its no wonder people are excited and curious about them, when we have been the audience there with them watching them grow through the many years!!
also don't believe we should ever 1) use the word "proof" and 2) go through things they haven't openly shared with us in the same way we'd never do that to our other friends in real life. just because there are two screens between us, doesn't make it ok for that to happen. if it isn't something we wouldn't do to our other friends, we especially shouldn't do it with them. i think the more we go over that boundary, the farther they pull back from it.
THIS IS THE EXACT POINT I TRY TO MAKE VERY CLEAR ON MY BLOG!! personally, i believe not only that it violates their boundaries and privacy and disrespects them, but it is dehumanising and almost treats S+C as characters rather than real people.
the golden rules of my blog are
1)to never mention "proofs" or "evidence"(i will send a warning just in case someone wasnt aware of the harm it can cause, after that if it happens again, blocked)
2) it's not okay to try and discuss moments or images that aren't specifically shared by either of their personal social media accounts or on smosh (or any channel they appear on as work). anything not shared from these cannot guarantee that it had s or c's consent to be shared and can risk violating their privacy.
and 3) to never bother s or c or anyone associated with them by trying to speculate about the relationship they have. again, boundaries, privacy, comfort and respect. pretty simple.
the more we are willing to take from their personal lives, the less they are willing to share from their personal lives because people will keep trying to take more.
this is such a fantastic point anon. i wish i could show everyone in the smoshblr community and particularly shourtney shippers this. (and again, it all comes back to s+c's comfort when it comes to sharing. the only way we can guarantee they are comfortable is by showing them that we respect their boundaries and privacy.)
(i really like how respectful you are in these responses and posts, keep it up!)
thank you anon! i think its really important to just be as transparent as possible when it comes to these discussions about shourtney. thank you for your ask!! im glad i had an opportunity to discuss these topics in depth.
#smosh#courtney miller#shayne topp#shourtney#smosh cast#smosh courtney#smosh shayne#smosh shourtney#shartney#shipping discourse#smoshblr#smoshpostiing#shourtney shipping#smosh pit#smosh games#love them sm
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Why do you think Ray turned to being so cruel with Sand then? I can understand the rest of it, but with Sand it was deliberately hurtful and also very untrue, and I just can't wrap my head around it. Because he only got that deliberately cruel with one person. Mew is the angel, apparently Sand is the punching bag. I dislike it and I dislike the way Sand apparently is just going to take it and go back to taking care of Ray like he won't do the exact same thing again the next time he gets upset.
I was having a lot of fun with Ray's explosion right up until that point, too. But I just can't get to the point where I understand why he went for Sand in that specific way. I feel like he was the only person that Ray actually wanted to wound in a way where he didn't care how he did it so long as he hurt him, and I dislike that. I'm also afraid it will become a pattern thanks to the trailer. And that edges into abuse to me.
Hello Anon,
This is a really good question and I've been pondering this a tonne. I was really surprised too by how cutting Ray was to Sand this episode, considering how guilty he looked last week.
I do think deep down Ray just can't fathom or accept why Sand is so kind to him. Why does Sand 'keep sticking his nose into his business'? Why does Sand even care so much? Can't he leave him to mess things up alone?
Sand has been consistently accommodating to Ray. Someone who Ray can't seem to thoroughly offend enough to stop caring about him. I think Ray is quite scared to confront how he feels about Sand, because he probably hasn't come across someone like that in his life before. Sand's kindness is often what causes Ray to feel guilty. And anyone who is repeatedly kind to you then makes you feel indebted to them. I don't think Ray is confident he can match Sand's kindness towards him, neither is Ray comfortable with the idea he'll owe Sand something. Therefore: 'Why are you so kind? Stop torturing me with your kindness'. With Sand, he will always be the bad guy.
If their relationship was still purely transactional (as Ray repeatedly refers to in this episode), and he were still paying Sand to spend time with him, then it would be far easier for Ray to find reason as to why Sand seems to be so concerned about him. 'Surely no one is this kind. To me of all people. Surely anyone who is this considerate wants something from me, right?'.
Now you may say that the only other person who displays that level of kindness is Mew (which is also why he's Ray's number one). But there's a huge difference between Sand and Mew. Sand is falling or is already in love with Ray. Mew is not.
I don't think Ray can even face the possibility of Sand seeing him that way. Because no one has actively loved him back. Emphasis on the back. So as a brat does when they don't understand something, they act out. Ray's knee-jerk setting is always to respond with anger. He's tries his darn best to drive Sand away, especially when Sand is being unbearably sincere.
I mentioned this in my Episode 7 preview post that I do really hope this is addressed at some point. I have a feeling it'll become a much bigger subject of conflict for them later on. Even though Sand is willing to forgive, it doesn't mean those comments don't hurt. And it's not okay for Ray to get into the habit of saying things like that while angry, thinking that Sand will always forgive him.
Thanks for the ask, this one did get me thinking a lot!
---birdie
#bird-inacage asks#only friends#only friends the series#ofts#only friends meta#ray x sand#sand x ray
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Not the original asker, but I would love more adventures with bb!luke and his dragon! I love luke being able to claim the cannibal because he tried to take his eye out, because the cannibal clearly took it a lot better than aemond. I was a bit confused tho by what rhaenys meant about being cruel or kind in not saying laenor would have given luke seasmoke? And why she knew daemon wasn’t enough? sorry if that’s a stupid question because I really liked the chapter!
Thanks so much, anon! I’m really touched that you liked the fic enough to leave this ask and that you’d like more of that verse!
Obviously the premise is inherently a bit cracky, but yes, the Cannibal definitely had a more 😍 reaction to Luke’s willingness to resort to knife crimes at the first opportunity than Aemond! Grey Ghost owes his life to the Cannibal’s utter WTF reaction when he looked down and realised that he did indeed nearly suffer GBH at the hands of a chubby-faced little moppet. But I don’t imagine Aemond will be amused when he hears Rhaenyra waxing lyrical to a raging Alicent about just how her little darling won his own massive weapon of mass destruction.
In terms of Rhaenys:
Whilst Rhaenys’ suspicions about their parentage means she has some bitterness regarding Rhaenyra’s sons, she is well aware that Laenor loved them dearly.
So her not voicing that Laenor would have obviously sent Seasmoke rather than the dangerous Cannibal could be due to kindness (“I won’t puncture the wishful thinking of a grieving child that his dead father is still watching over him and loved him enough to send him the dragon he’d wanted his whole life”) or cruelty (“I won’t acknowledge to this grieving child that my son loved him so much that he would readily have given him his own dragon if he could”).
As for Daemon, a large part of Luke’s anger in that snippet is the dual trauma of unexpectedly losing his father whilst also being expected to accept Daemon as Laenor’s replacement with absolutely zero time to properly process the loss. Whilst he might otherwise have internalised his turmoil a bit more and settled down given time, the sudden connection to the Cannibal means that his emotions have a sudden outlet in a murderous dragon who is capable of squaring up to Caraxes.
So the normally insecure and meeker six-year-old Luke is suddenly not responding well when a man he barely knew before he unexpectedly married Luke’s mother and took his father’s place is telling him to calm down and control himself, forming a very dangerous feedback loop with the Cannibal. Hence Rhaenys recognising that someone else - like an authority figure Luke already knows - very much needs to step in.
He also mentally ties Laenor’s death to the other traumatic events of that night - getting it thrown in his face that Laenor might not actually be his father by someone Luke thought a friend, having that friend nearly brain Jace with a rock and losing the friendship through knifing his eye, having Aegon who Luke might previously have looked up to calling him a bastard in a hall full of people…
To Luke’s childish, grieving mind therefore, he lost Laenor partially because he might be a bastard, and he’s already aware that people questioned his status as a Targaryen because he didn’t have a dragon. Thus there’s the subconscious, irrational, guilt that if Luke had only been able to claim the Cannibal beforehand, things would never have gone so badly wrong and Laenor would still be with them.
Which is then also feeding into the Cannibal’s behaviour. He’s already the absolute worst dragon Luke could possibly have; it is very much the potentially centuries-old massive dragon currently calling the shots in that relationship, and because he has absolutely zero experience in having a rider or being around humans in general, he essentially regards Luke as an extension of himself and reacts to any attempt to take him away or even to merely get close to Luke as he would another dragon trying to steal his kill.
And while Luke may be a little frightened and frustrated by this…not only does he finally have an unquestioned symbol of Targaryen heritage in the dragon he longed for, but it’s a dragon so big and powerful that he won’t ever have to fear him dying like Laenor. He knows in his very bones that the Cannibal would rather burn the whole island to the ground than leave him, and for an unsettled, grieving child, that’s actually a very compelling notion. So that too is influencing the Cannibal’s apparent disregard of Luke’s commands, and one can really pity poor Rhaenys for the absolute mess she’s now taking on.
#house of the dragon#lucerys velaryon#carrion#lucemond#cannibal the dragon#aemond targaryen#rhaenys targaryen#anon ask
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So ghost anon got me thinking…
What would happen if Floyd was the only one who couldn’t get to branch in time? I mean he was the only brother to say goodbye and promise to return, but ironically he is also the only one to not meet branch before he passes. I have a feeling that the guilt of never being able to fulfil his promise would tear him apart :3
Hopefully I won’t regret giving u a weapon to rip my heart out (who am I kidding, do as u please with this)
OW? OUCH? I got this ask while I was writing the fight and just oof, it hurt- Thank you for giving me this weapon >:)
Going to turn this into a ficlet, haven't done one of those in a while
***
Branch knew it was unlikely that all four of his brothers would get there on time. The world was big and who knew where four small Trolls could have ended up after twenty years. Laying in bed, he blinked in and out of consciousness, his chest heavy and barely any air managed to get to his lungs. Poppy was by his side, holding his paw tightly, not wanting to let go.
To his surprise, John Dory was the first to arrive. The oldest almost looked grey as he looked at his baby brother, who was resting on death's doorstep. With a push from Delta, he walked into the room, sitting down on a chair on his side. He opened his mouth, but no words came out, not until Barb had pulled Poppy out of the room. The two brothers needed a moment.
"I'm so sorry, Bittie, I… I'm sorry. I should have been there for you, but I wasn't, and…"
Branch took his paw, the younger being so weak, but he needed JD to listen.
"Love you."
His voice was broken and small, but to his surprise, JD started tearing up.
"I love you too. So much. You're my baby brother, and I'm sorry…"
This went on for a while, as Branch's lungs cleared just a bit, and he asked if JD could tell him about the Neverglades, which he did, drying his tears. He hadn't felt this vulnerable in a long time, but for Branch? He would probably beg the Muses themselves for his life to be spared.
Then came Clay. He came inside on his own, Synth and Dante pointing him to the right room. He was shocked, to say the least, that JD was there, and for a moment, all he felt was anger and grief. After a small spat, he calmed down as Branch's tail brushed his own. Right, Branch. They were there for Branch. Their little brother, who was dying.
After a few exchanged words filled with love, both the Iris and Dahlia were cleared from his system, and he breathed just a tiny bit easier, enough that if he had just a bit more energy, he would have been able to hold a conversation. But he didn't, so the two older held it for him, despite their awkwardness and grievances, they were there and they were talking.
Finally, Spruce came. Except it was now Bruce, and he had changed a lot, but he was their brother nevertheless, and while Branch could tell the tension swung a bit in the room, happiness, anger, and grief hanging heavy in the air, he was happy to see another of his loved ones. Just a few hours ago he had almost accepted death, not believing they would come on time, but here three of them were.
JD gave up his spot for Bruce, letting him take Branch's paw, the purple-haired Troll speaking so softly with the youngest, who hummed an "I love you too" in reply. The Zinnia lost its grip, and now… they only had the Queen Anne's Lace left.
But would Floyd get there on time?
---
Floyd had already left Mount Rageous days before, having heard the news on his small traveling radio, and narrowly avoiding being kidnapped, he set out to find his baby brother.
He had made a promise. It was maybe twenty years too late, but Floyd was not one to break a promise. Not now, not ever.
Then he learned that the promise had been put on a timer. Friends of Branch, bounty hunters, had found him, telling him what was going on.
Branch was dying. Branch could be dead already.
They didn't need to tell him twice that he was needed. He just sat silently in the back of their critter bus, eyes distant as memories played on a loop.
Seeing that little bluebell egg hatching. Holding that little baby boy that had been filled with so much joy, love, and music.
Branch was singing before he was talking, he danced before he could walk. He was the sunshine breaking through the grey clouds of grief and horror in that period of their lives.
And he had left him behind. He had given the toddler his vest. The vest had belonged to all their brothers once, and if there was someone who deserved the comfort that the vest provided, it was Branch.
When he came to Pop Village, the place was… sad. Too sad to be filled with Pop Trolls. He saw a grey Troll with a crown on her head sit amongst a group of other dully colored Trolls, her grief so strong it nearly drowned everyone seeing her.
No one noticed him as he walked through the village, and when he asked someone where Branch was, they just shook their head, a sad look in their eyes. Another Troll pointed him to the outskirts of the village.
Floyd had heard from the youngest friends that he had built a bunker, and with a small spark of hope, he looked in the direction they pointed, hoping to see that large rock, but no… There was a field of flowers there.
A Pop Troll graveyard.
And by the freshest mound, holding onto each other, sat three Trolls who were painfully familiar. His brothers. Just not all four of them. Only the three oldest.
A pained scream filled the air.
Floyd's scream.
He had broken his promise.
***
Yeah, ow, this hurt- Hope everyone enjoys the misery as always :,D
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Hey loves, I hope you're doing great and of you aren't, please take a minute to breathe and hug yourself and say "I love you, it'll pass"
Now I'm going to leave a little vent about burnout and self worth as an artist on Tumblr <3 for anyone who might feel like their struggles aren't valid or seen enough, and not worth sharing
So... Every time I ask for requests I get a little bit of burnout because I'm convinced only about 3 people are going to reply with asks that say things like "dew in slutty crop top" "mountain with flower" "a ghoulette existing"
Instead I get super lovely prompts that I actually get exited about and want to make fully fleshed pieces but they're so exhausting, because I have like 10 wips already and I'll never post enough art for people to enjoy.
So now there's already 20 old ask requests I never replied to and 20 more new ones that I'll never be good enough to draw and post, and it really messes with my brain when I know I could also just say "hey here's a quick doodle of this" and people will still enjoy it, and that I dont have to be so elaborate and that I dont owe anyone anything and that people will still be there for me no matter what...
I feel like I can complain a lot here sometimes but I like to be transparent... I struggle a lot with mental health and self worth especially when it comes to art...
I never want to stop drawing and I'm grateful to everyone for their support, but I also feel like it's important to acknowledge that I feel like this and that others might too and we're allowed to feel that way... and we're allowed to fall in and out of love with your hyperfixation's fandom and purge your followers and block people who made you feel horrible and make long complicated posts about it.... because it's Tumblr... it's my little piece (and peace) of mind, and you should get to see several sides of me... silly goofy, tired and burnt out, caring and gentle... and any other you may catch a glimpse of (murderous intent when my friends get mean anons🙂).
But at the end of the day... I'm just another human... I'm not perfect, I'm very young, I have a long way to go and a lot to learn and a lot to heal and get over with. And I'm very grateful to be able to share my art here, and that ghost (the band) was a gateway into discovering parts of myself I didn't know existed before, and also learning that a lot of bad things happen in life and that suffering is just a part of your growth.
So thank you reader, I love you too☀️🪼🌌
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hi charlie!
to say the vibes have been off lately would be an understatement, wouldn’t it? because there has been a lot of negativity, too much for a place that is supposed to be about finding an outlet for your creativity and people to share your interests.
i know it has been difficult, draining to be around here and face all the discourse cankering the fandom.
because of all this negativity, i believe it is important to try and balance it out with some kindness. so here i am, doing a little check-up on you <3
so first, how are you, really?
everything you feel regarding what is happening is valid and you deserve to feel happy and safe around here. so please, make sure you take the time you need from posting, from sharing fics, even just from being on the platform. i want you to know it’s okay and i support whatever you decide, for whatever reason.
i also want you to know that you have your place here, as much as the rest of us. you’re loved and wanted and i can assure you the fandom is a far better place with you in it.
i hope you’re taking care of yourself outside of tumblr as well. please remember to stay hydrated and to eat something 🫶🏼
now i would like you to sit back and enjoy the perfect, quiet night in with joel <3
do not hesitate to reach out if you need to talk, i’m here for you! sending you all my love and so many hugs 🫂
anna 💗
Ahhh Anna, this is so sweet of you - thank you for taking the time to try and combat so much of the negativity on here by spreading some love - it's so important!
I have had so many thoughts about what's been going on lately, some of which I'll share here, but I'll put under a read-more so if you're not wanting to read discourse, you don't have to!
I'm going to go and enjoy my quiet night in with Joel, because that would absolutely fix me right now and thank you for sharing that with me. He's making me a cup of tea right now and is going to bring it to me, we'll watch TV and I will continue crocheting a blanket for us to snuggle up under!
Take care of yourself Anna, and thank you for always being kind and wonderful on here!
If you've been around here a while, you'll know that I rarely, if ever, get involved and wade into the discourse that floats around often. It's not because I don't care, it's because this blog has, and always will be, my way to escape the pressure of my real life. I have enough personal drama to contend with outside of the internet, and I very rarely want to allow it to bleed into the one space I have where I can escape for some peace.
That being said, it has become harder and harder for me to ignore the absolute storm of shit that has been swirling these past weeks. My friends and mutuals having their works blatantly stolen and then receiving hate when calling this out. People I look up to and whose writing I enjoy being attacked for presenting certain kinks. The insane rise in anon hate being spouted not just here, but across other sites as well. It's all too much and it all has to stop.
The people on this site create fic because they enjoy it. They graciously and selflessly write thousands of words for your enjoyment, for free might I add, without asking for very much in return. They write often around full-time jobs, school work and through personal and health issues. They agonise over making sure their work is as good as they can make it. They don't owe you anything, we don't owe you anything. We do this because we enjoy it, but the current climate on this absolute hellsite is making the enjoyment really fucking hard to find these days.
Be kind to each other. Stop hiding behind the cloak of anonymity to spew hate and be mean. Stop stealing other people's work. If you come across a fic that has warnings or themes that aren't your cup of tea, stop reading and walk away. Take a step back and think about what will happen if writers are continuously driven off this site.
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This is what caiti said on discord (If you didn't see it ) :
Hello everyone! Bad timing, i am getting on
a long flight as of now! As ghostie said, i have
seen what was said and I will formulate all i have
on the flight for a message as people have asked
me to. Once im grounded, I'l release it, and will
be away for a bit.
Im telling you this so you don't stay up stressing
and know when things will happen. Originally i did
not want to add to this situation with proof. I
didn't want to create this idea that its petty
drama and not real life people that have been
effected. i also don't want victims to feel they
have to prove themselves to people to be
believed. i believe you. but i cannot control how
situations play out. yes i know i do not owe it, but
I will give it nonetheless.
this will be the only "proof" or "response" i have
as i don't want to keep proving myself and
participate in a drawn out back and forth publicly.
the more information and screenshots released
the more complicated everything gets and the
point of all of this becomes lost. i don't want to
participate in him proving himself, or me doing so.
i just wanted to share my story so victims around
me know they arent alone. I willlet people do as
they please moving forward and will not respond
to anything else. As well because I need to take
time for it all.
this will be the only "proof" or "response" i have
as i don't want to keep proving myself and
participate in a drawn out back and forth publicly.
the more information and screenshots released
the more complicated everything gets and the
point of all of this becomes lost. i don't want to
participate in him proving himself, or me doing so.
i just wanted to share my story so victims around
me know they arent alone. I will let people do as
they please moving forward and will not respond
to anything else. As well because I need to take
time for it all.
i appreciate all who have supported me, and
ESPECIALLY those who have reached out
privately to me with their stories and those who
felt strong enough to publicly come out with
them. u aren't alone.
once i am back in about a week i will stream my
FINAL response and message to everyone about
the situation and bigger issue at hand. because
there is a lot to say before moving on or healing.
love u all!
thank you anon!
she didn't want it to be a big public issue but she...made it one herself...this could've been easily avoided by at least confronting him in dms first
also i really don't know what she could show to prove more tbh and I wonder about streaming "final message about situation and bigger issue at hand" could mean
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Hi would you be willing to do a part two to the steve x Henderson!reader age gap fic?
i am so floored by how many of you asked for a part II for this! to the anon who gave me the nudge w this idea, i owe u my life. thank you for your patience, i hope this satisfies! also, let's pretend the plan went off without a hitch and everyone survived <3 | 2k, henderson!reader, angst to fluff, lots of cursing, i mean like, a ton
The Upside Down is just as horrifying this time as it was last night. Your arm throbs and your hands shake from the adrenaline as you climb the bedsheet rope and flop on the mattress, Steve's hand appearing above you immediately to haul you up. You haven't talked to him very much apart from gathering supplies and a tense ride in the front of the Winnebago next to him. Every time you look at him he's already looking at you, his gaze so heavy that you feel like you're going to explode. But there's no time for that -- you have a mission to finish.
Eddie's trailer feels familiar but only barely, the vines and cloudy air coating everything with death and decay. Dustin is the last to come through the gaping hole in the ceiling and you haul him up, keeping a hand on him out of habit. You insisted on being with him and Eddie, Steve's cruel but truthful words about looking after him ringing in your ears.
"Alright, be careful, okay?" Steve's jaw is tense as he cautions the three of you. "Don't even fucking think about being heroes. Anything goes south, you're back through that gate, understand?" Quick as a flash he grabs one of your hands. "Keep each other safe." His eye bore into yours and you think you nod, a shocked jerk of your chin. And then the moment is over and he, Nancy, and Robin are heading out of the park.
"What the fuck was that?" says Dustin.
Your skin is tingling. "Language, buddy!"
"That's true love, Henderson," says Eddie. You glare at him but he's beaming at you.
You wave your arms at the deserted hell dimension around you. "Really? Right now?"
"We are going to talk about this. You and Steve? Steve?" Dustin thuds his head against his spear.
"Dustin." You want to smack him upside the head but you refrain. "He told me you said I liked him!"
"I was joking! Figures he took it seriously like a dumbass. But I never took my own flesh and blood for one! I mean, Eddie is right there!" You take a step towards Dustin like you're going to tackle him but he just makes a face back.
"S'okay, sweetheart." Eddie clutches his heart. "You and Harrington have history. I'm entertained and not at all offended."
"Can we focus, please? We need to bat-proof this trailer."
"But, are you and Steve--"
"Now, Dustin!" You snap your fingers and corral the boys back to covering the windows and any empty space you can find. Your brother grumbles but listens to you, quickly falling into the work of nail gunning metal and wood to the trailer. You plug every opening you can find, latching chain link to the porch to make a cage. And then it's time.
"Initiate phase three, initiate phase three!" Robin's voice crackles through the walkie talkie.
"Shit," Eddie mutters. "Here we go!" He heads to his bedroom to grab his guitar and you and Dustin climb to the roof of the trailer.
You grab your brother by the shoulders as he plugs in the amps. "Listen, Dustin, I --"
"Are you about to give me some dumb speech about getting out of here if shit goes bad? Because save it."
"No, listen to me --"
"No, listen to me. We're doing this together because that's how we win. We're going to save everyone, but we need everyone." You pull him to you and squeeze him, quick and fast so he doesn't have time to squirm away. It's going to be fine. You're going to win.
"Hendersons, are we ready?" Eddie takes his place on the trailer and plays and plays and plays. You watch through the binoculars for the bats, calling out timings, and before you know it you're dropping back down to the ground and locking the cage behind you and screaming at how insane that was.
"I hope that's enough," you pant. "It has to be enough." You can't think about it too hard -- how Max is going to walk back into hell, how Nancy and Robin and Steve are going to fight Vecna in the flesh. All you can do is wait.
But pretty soon the bats are slamming against the trailer and the three of you form a tight circle and hope you got every opening. They make awful, awful sounds and the stitches Nancy carefully did in your arm burn and you're so scared.
"We need to buy more time," Eddie whispers. "You two climb, I'll be right behind you." But he doesn't look at you as he says it, breaking out of your circle with eyes on the door. You surge after him and throw your shield to the floor to grab a fistful of his jacket and tug him back.
"Don't you fucking dare, Eddie Munson. Get the fuck back here!" He looks shocked at the force in your tone. "Don't you remember what Steve said? We're not doing that shit. We're not dying today. They'll be fine."
"What she said," Dustin echoes. "Don't you fucking da--"
"Language!" you shout.
"Seriously? You just said it like, a million times!" Eddie bursts into surprised laughter.
"Christ, okay, I won't do anything." You release him and Dustin presses a little closer into his side.
So you wait. And wait, and wait, and wait.
And then a heavy thud on the top of the trailer makes all three of you scream. But it's followed by another, and another, and then hundreds more, like the worst hail storm you've ever heard. It stops just as quick as it started.
"The bats," you gasp. "It has to be them."
"Does that mean that Vecna is...?" Dustin whispers. The silence is eerie and fragile.
"Let's fuckin' hope so," Eddie mumbles.
And then the ground rumbles. It starts low and deep, almost like it's your own stomach. And then the trailer starts to vibrate, then shake like it did at Skull Rock.
"They have to be coming back," you say. "I'm going to get the door. Stay in here, okay?"
"Henderson..." Eddie starts.
"No, it's fine. The bats are dead." You know it's hypocritical to charge outside when you stopped him from doing the same thing, but you're already unlocking the door and stepping into the makeshift cage. Demobat bodies litter the ground as you step out into the dusty air. The sky is fading from angry red to black and you can feel the earth move under you.
"Hey!" You look up and see Robin sprinting towards you out of the tree line, dragging Nancy by the hand. "Thank god you're not dead. We have to go, now." They look mostly fine -- Nancy has a fresh cut along her cheek and Robin's hat is missing and they're both covered in...ash? But where is he?
"Steve, come on!" Nancy hollers behind them as they reach you. "Are Dustin and Eddie inside?"
"Yeah," you say, eyes now on the figure that emerges behind them. He's dirtier than before, throwing glances over his shoulder like he expects Vecna to be on his heels. But seeing him makes your chest both loosen and tighten at once -- relief that he's alive mingled with the intense rush of how scared you were that he wasn't going to come back.
"I--" you start to say but no words come out.
"Let's hustle, guys!" Steve hollers. "Inside, go, go, go!" Robin and Nancy go in you but you stand and wait for him because you just want to touch him, to make sure this is real, that you might have won, but he doesn't even slow in his run when he gets to you. He just grabs your hand and hauls you into the trailer behind him. Eddie is already through the gate, Dustin halfway up the rope and Robin kneeling for Nancy to start up after him.
"We got him," Steve says to you. "But the whole damn place is coming down. We nearly didn't get out of the house." His hand is warm where it still clutches yours. "Nice work with the bats, by the way." He's grinning at you and you feel a little lightheaded. Is it this easy now? The bad guy is dead and all of a sudden Steve's all in for you?
The trailer shakes again as Nancy disappears through the gate and Steve pulls you into him for a few seconds while Robin clings to the bedsheets. But this time it doesn't stop and a great wet ripping sound echoes through the Upside Down.
"Shit," Robin says, hauling herself through the gate as fast as she can.
"Now you," Steve says, and you want to protest but he's shoving you forward and pressing his hands to your ass as you start to climb. Normally you'd say something but Steve is not going to get left behind, so you hustle, rolling off of the mattress as soon as you land so he's got a clear space. And then he's through, yanking the bedsheets with him, and you watch the ceiling as the dark trailer starts to shake and crumble, the jagged hole shrinking, knitting itself together and disappearing in the blink of an eye.
"Holy shit," Dustin says. "Holy shit." You don't scold him because you feel the same. He wraps his arms around you and jumps up and down and you laugh.
"It's over," Robin breathes. "It's over."
"You got him?" Eddie asks. Steve hauls himself up from the mattress and claps the metalhead on the shoulder.
"Set him on fire and Nance shot him in the face. We got him." Eddie whoops and pull Steve in for a hug, and just like that you're all cheering, all trading high fives and embraces and feeling so relieved you can hardly believe it.
"We have to get the others," Dustin says, rummaging for his radio as Eddie hovers over him. Robin drags Nancy to the bathroom to clean her cut, and Steve stands next to you. You act on instinct and sag into him, gentle in case his wounds are hurting, but hugging him nonetheless. His arms come around you and your breaths match.
"Okay," you say into his neck.
He doesn't move but he makes a confused sound. You can feel his heartbeat.
"We can talk about it now." Steve pulls away from you this time, his hands coming to frame your face.
"Oh, that," he says. You frown, wondering if he's changed his mind, if he's going to reject you again, if you're going to go back to being something jagged and frigid. "I'm so dumb."
"Steve--"
"Best thing I ever saw, you standing in front of the trailer surrounded by dead demobats." His eyes bore into yours like he's trying to get you to understand something. "I was so fucking scared."
"I was too," you breathe. You fist your hands in his collar, thumbs grazing the edge of the angry red line around his neck. He's older than you, sure, and he's been through this before, but all you want to do is tuck him somewhere safe where he can rest.
"And you scare me," he continues. "Because I like you so much. And I'm sorry I yelled at you before and I know it's complicated and that I'm kind of a deadbeat--"
"Steve." You press your fingertips to his mouth. You can hear Max through the radio behind you and your arm is throbbing and you feel the exhaustion setting into every bone, but you're also on top of the world. Because Steve is here in your arms. "Can you kiss me now?"
His lips are on you before you've even finished talking and it's not a very good kiss -- you both smell and your teeth clack a little with the force of it but it warms you from head to toe. Eddie's clapping in the background, Robin laughs and you feel alive because you are and maybe the rejection was worth it because here you are kissing the boy of your dreams.
"I'm pretending not to see this!" Dustin yells. "I'm really disappointed, just to be clear!"
But Steve just kisses you and kisses you and kisses you.
tags (including all of u who asked for this specifically!!): @cheerupbarry @srrybutno @97soroka @sunlitide @gloryofroses19 @carpediem1219 @themarvelousbee @sunshinehollandd @katsukis1wife @imherefortea @spideyboipete @lonelywidow @louderfortheback @actual-mom-steve-harrington @steveharringtonscarkeys @pennyllanne @ducky-is-dead-inside @ih3artcry1ng @escape-in-time-x @just-a-lost-princess @golden-wander @cagethemunson
want to be added to my tag list? send me a message and specify for steve, eddie, or both!
reblog, send feedback, requests open, masterlist here!
#anon ask#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things x reader#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things x y/n#stranger things x you
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hey dude feel free to not respond, but i saw what that anon said about your grammar and whatnot, and i'm really sorry about what they said. you don't owe them (or anyone) anything, especially not perfection. they were really rude and they don't deserve a moment of your time. you're an amazing writer, storyteller, and author, and don't let anyone take that away from you.
also, they made a grammatical error in their last sentence :D
@insidious-apple , @oakfiddle, and kind Anon, thank you very much for your kind words. They mean a lot. I promise that rude ass Anon didn't get to me, but it warms my heart to see that people from the community I adore, took the time to reach out. I adore you all, and I adore every one of my Bagginshield friends I've been lucky enough to make over the last year (and some change). I've never been this fortunate in all my life to be surrounded by this many talented people.
I very much doubt this will be the last time I get anon hate (some of yall remember last Oct...), but I'm not easy to chase off or rattle. I responded mostly as a way to give context to why some of my stuff might not seem as polished, but that in no way means that I'm ashamed of my dyslexia, and neither should any other writer be.
I'm giving you all cyber hugs and or waves ❤️❤️
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Honestly your blog is the only BG3 blog I check daily. (Dam you- for having me check tumblr everyday now)
Now for an ask. What do you think Selunite!Shadowheart- Were!shadowheart, Minthara and Gale (bonus Karlach) would react to a Dark Urge Tav who has apparently an insane questionable and despicable past (regarding the in game apparent sexual relation to Orin and necrophelia unfortunately, which mind blown from a player perspective)
- undecided anon
-
This actually means a lot to me that you're interested enough in my thoughts and writing to check it out every day <3 as much as it feals like I'm yelling into the void sometimes, it's nice to remember there are actual people on the other end in the void who are silently listening.
Thank you for telling me this, words genuinely fail me when it comes to describing how these small comments make me happy.
Now, mention of dark topics below cut
Including Necrophilia, Incest, Exhibition, Gore, Murder, Torture, Body fluids, Animal abuse, and Vivisections
Durge is genuinely unhinged. Through all the flashbacks and hints we see of their past through the game, one is more horrible than the last.
They dunked their butler's head into the open bladder of the guy they were preforming a vivisection on and choked him in their piss because he made a mistake. Source from the noblestalk flashback.
The sexual implications of their relationship with Gortash, a tyrant who killed and enslaved endless people. I don't recall the Orin implications but taking your words on it, it would kind of be considered incest since she is also a bhaalspawn. She is even a product of incest herself.
They have a long history of animal abuse and mistreatment, too. They aren't below preying on souls weaker than them. The cat on the rooftop in moonrise towers who mentions how Durge kicked her a lot, also the squirrel in act 1.
What they did to Alfira too.
Shadowheart, Minthara, and maybe arguably Karlach have a dark past. All of them have murdered and tortured people in the past.
Minthara
Minthara is the most extreme out of them. Not only did she participate in the cruel nature of drow culture, but also the fact she doesn't exactly see anything wrong with it. Yes, her crimes, her own crimes, not the ones she was brainwashed to commit, pale in comparison to Durge, but it still would make any sane good person turn away from her.
She doesn't react much to Durge's cruelty through the game. If anything, she encourages it and at times turned on by it. I don't think she would encourage Necrophilia and incest but those might be her only hard no. The rest like gore and turtore is not a deal breaker to her.
Minthara is the companion that Durge could be the most free with when it comes to following their dark urges. As long as they don't hold the knife to her own throat. She does think it is freaky and weird of Durge but she is used to freaky and weird from drow culture.
Her moral compass does exist. It's mostly evil. Her only deal breakers are when you betray her own trust, if you hurt other people she doesn't care.
She used to be in love with Orin, even worshipping her. Ingame. But Orin betrayed her trust so Minthara loathed her from that day on.
Although I have a feeling that she condems needless cruelty, sure, sate your appetite, but don't let it consume you. If you can't seize control over your own urges when it matters, then how are you any different from a frenzied mutt? Control yourself and prove to her you are a sane person and she will stay with you.
Shadowheart
Back in her Sharran days, she admits to torturing and breaking prople. She lied and manipulated do many people to get her way and to serve Shar.
It would be hypocritical of her to judge you on your past, no matter how much darker it is than hers in comparison. Especially a Selunite Shadowheart who would feel like she owes her life to you interference back at the nightsong confrontation.
But a Selunite Shadowheart wouldn't indulge your dark urges, she will only forgive your past. If you still seek bloodlust then either let her help you through it, or both of you can go your separate ways.
That's only after the ending tho, during your travel days, she will turn a blind eye to your gorey displays and chalk it up to the cruel road you've faced. She will give you the benfit of the doubt until the city is saved.
Her parents still had hope in her seeing the truth one day and waking up, so she tries to extend the same courtesy to you for as much as she can.
A Werewolf Shadowheart would fall into the same category if she had ended up a Selunite. Although being a werewolf and all, she will relate to your struggle more than normal Shadowheart ever could. She also has urges that steer her to darker thoughts and desires that she battles everyday, the two of you can get through this together.
Karlach
Now her case is...very speical. Technically, she committed no sins or crimes on her own because she was enslaved during her time fighting in the demon wars. Yet still she killed many, she has never developed an appetite for blood because of it.
She doesn't shy away from killing tho, it's an average everyday thing for her now. She will kill and fight if she had to in order to survive.
But, because she has lived among demons, even got almost close to befriending one, she has seen much worse than anything Durge could've ever done.
Incest and Necrophilia barely scratch the surface of what devils get down to. Let alone the humiliation and truely sickening things they force upon their victims. Karlach bared witness to all of that.
She wants Durge to change, not to end up like these devils. She reassures them that they are better than this, that they have the strength to change and not go down this disgusting road.
She isn't phased by it like Minthara, but unlike Minthara, she never endorsed or participated in the cruelty around her.
I think she'll have a heart to heart with Durge about it. Try to get them to see people as real people with souls and emotions, not just cattle for slaughter.
A single life is very precious, especially to someone like her who was robbed of their own life. She will never forgive Durge for robbing an innocent person out of their life.
But she would definitely freak out over the Gortash relationship thing, because more of personal reasons. You fell in love with that monster as he is? The same man who robbed her of her own heart and betrayed her trust? She would genuinely break down.
Gale
He is a very very speical case.
Gale is naive in a way. Not to infantilise him, but he tends to view the world through rose colored lenses. Part to being human, another part to having lived in the lap of luxury and privilege.
Gale saw the best of what the world had to offer, Gale fell in love with a zealous benevolent goddess who's good alligned, Gale was isolated in one of the richest cities in Faerun with rich scholars for friends.
Gale thought Minthara was just misunderstood when he met her.
He is aware of good and evil, he just has such a distorted view of evil that he never recognises it when it's face to face with him. He forgets that evil people can be charming, beautiful and funny and they might just be his own friends.
In his world view, he is good, therefore anything and everything he interacts with willingly must be good.
He is delusional.
And it doesn't help that life and sheer luck only encouraged his delusions, only soldified his views that bad people can be quelled by ordering everyone a shot at the tavren and that no one truly would wish to harm someone else given the chance right?
He will make endless excuses for Durge's past. So many far-fetched justifications to fit you into the box of good people he keeps in his orbit.
That is, if Durge never confronts him with their present urges to still participate in bloodshed.
Otherwise he will just downplay your confessions of guilt and brush off your unsettling comments. Always going the extra mile to give you all the benfits to the doubt.
Unless you make him face the cold truth reality in the form of a slaughtered grove of innocent people.
Even then, while he particpated, his delusions still make excuses for you, telling him there must be a reason for all of this, he just has to have faith in you.
Ans in the aftermath when it's just him and you, kneedeep in gore at camp. He revolts at the sight of you, sneers and glares into your face. Fully blaming everything on YOU. That YOU must be corrupting him, fully driving his agenda that he is good and will always be good! It's you who is responsible for his own actions.
It's also these delusions of him being a good person that inflate his ego enough to let him persure the crown of Karsus, that makes him think he is beyond the corruption of greed while simultaneously blaming any and all of his actions that he doesn't like onto Durge and saying they must've corrupted him.
He isn't just ignorant, he is choosing to remain ignorant.
Durge can manipulate a power hungry Gale into staying with them even while they openly bathe in the remains of corpses. If they feed into his delusions.
#♡dark content#♡Gale#♡karlach#♡Minthara#♡Shart#♡wereshart#♡selunite shart#♡character study#♡undecided anon
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hey i saw the post about tics and i am a minor so im not gonna follow or anything but i did want to leave a little message. u dont have to answer if u dont want to!
im gonna be honest. i dont know where the fuck my own tics came from. they just kinda.. slowly developed. i dont know if that's normal. but they havent.. gone away. for a long time i was scared i was somehow faking it. i dont.. know why id be faking it. like they're annoying LOL. its taken a lot of time for me to come to terms with the fact that i just.. have tics. and theyre real. and there's nothing "wrong" about me.
like i dont owe anyone an explanation, yk?? thats none of their business.
but yeah, i experience simple motor tics. theyre mostly in my back and neck and shoulders. i also have premonitory sensations/urges/whatever the word is
ive had people ask me about them. i dont mind that much as long as they treat me the same after too. god i hate when they give me the pity look!!
but yeah. that's my story. i know its not anything all that special. but it means a lot to me to just. idk. know there's other people out there and to hear their experiences. i hope you have a nice day / night :]
First off, I wanted to say thank you for sending this anon, and for respecting my boundaries.
Secondly, I wanted to thank you for telling me your story. It's special to me that there are people out there that my own stories and experiences might help.
The first time I ever noticed I was ticcing I was 6 years old. My mom had pointed out I'd been widening my eyes and rolling them without me noticing. On the way to the doctor I remember secretly hoping to myself I had tics, thinking they were something that made me "special".
When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I made the decision to stand up in front of my class and explain to everyone what tics were, and why I was rolling my eyes and flexing my hands all the time.
In middle school, my tics got so bad that I couldn't hold a pencil or even feed myself properly because they were so bad. I was openly mocked, belittled, and abused for my disorder. I was hit, called slurs, pushed down the stairs, and more. My father, who thought I was faking, told me that "bullying builds character" when I told him.
I left school 2 weeks before the year ended. The next year, I broke my leg bending down to pick up a sock, crippling me for life. I felt worthless, and defeated. I gave up on myself completely.
In highschool, I stood up in the middle of class to tell a boy to "shut the fuck up" because he was pretending to tic like I did. The entire class went silent. I sat down, turned to the teacher, and told her to continue. I was never repremanded.
When my tics were loud during class, I told people to turn the fuck around and pay attention.
When strangers stare in public, I meet their eyes until they look away.
At 21, I have people my age telling me that my story matters to them. Having tics can suck. But they are your tics, and this is your life.
You are completely fucking right, there is nothing wrong with you. I hope you never surpress your tics in public. I hope you show up to every movie theater and quiet classroom with a head raised high. I hope everyone with tics learns to love themselves the way that they deserve. I hope able bodied people learn to mind their own fucking business for once.
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Hello! Do you have a tag or somewhere I can find art inspired by Shanties? I remember you reposted some a while back and it was really great to see. Definitely helped visualize the stories. (Although you don’t need the help. I can practically see the story as I read it. You do an incredible job with the details. <3)
I do! I use "Shanties art" for artworks from my fics<3 I think tumblr user @saessenach is responsible for a majority of them (and what she posts doesn't even scratch the surface of what she draws, but I'm always hoping she will so that I can yell about them!!) There's also the anon who's commissioned covers for several Shanties fics, aka my mysterious patron to whom I owe my life.
And thank you for saying that! I'm unbelievably grateful to those who've drawn art for my stories over the years, and the feeling of seeing someone capture a scene exactly the way you imagined it when you wrote it is just...well, indescribable, but words are all I have, and so it means a lot when someone says they can visualise my writing<3
#btw if you've drawn something for me that I haven't seen there's a good chance tumblr hasn't alerted me#so please don't hesitate to send it!#I stay out of the ship and character tags so I only see the stuff I'm tagged in
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i want to have little xavier and benji dolls and make them kiss and hold hands because thats what they deserve
Thank you anon I'm using your ask to post @fr0ntier 's present from me for the day 😌
“Starting to think you have a claustrophobia kink, or something.”
Xavier’s lips are pressed up to Benji’s throat so he can feel the vibration of his words and it’s enough to make him feel like a dog sniffing out a treat—unleashed and a little fucking feral about it. His teeth pinch the other man’s skin a little, earn him a sound that’s close to a whimper before Benji manages to wrangle it in. The soldier’s hand winds into Xavier’s dark red hair, shoves his head backward until it’s ground against the shitty leather seat of the car. The backseat is not spacious enough for someone as long as Xavier—nor is it spacious enough for someone as stocky and thickly built as Benji.
But, when you’re a criminal, trying to wrestle out spare time with one of those good SAS boys, you really can’t pick and choose the place. And tinted windows are helpful, unless some bully comes across the parked car and wants to instigate a ticket. Which case, Xavier does have a crowbar underneath the backseat. Not above using it to scare off the police; one more broken law under his belt.
Besides, that just means Benji has to be on top of him and they have to be pressed together in ways that aren’t entirely comfortable. He’s got a belt buckle pressed into the back of his spine and Benji’s leg is half crooked, his other folded around Xavier’s leg. It’s a mess of them both, but he wasn’t regretting all but kidnapping the man into the back of the car.
“You look stupid hot in your uniform,” is how Xavier chooses to reply, because he doesn’t want to think that maybe he does have a thing for tiny enclosed spaces. Or just has them for when Benji is involved. Because their bodies are warm together, he can smell the other man and it makes his chest expand in a way that hurts. Also, he’s hard as a fucking rock, but ignoring that. “Like, duh. I’ve been around military guys my whole life—but, man, you wear these pants real fuckin’ well.”
He punctuates it by squeezing Benji’s muscular thighs.
“Yeah? And I got a cramp in my leg that’s making me murderous, man. So if we doin’ somethin’, let’s have it.”
Xavier feels confused for a moment, looking at Benji hunched over him. His dog tags have slipped over from his military issue shirt, swinging a little. They’re different looking from Shadow tags—because of course Graves would get them their own cute, special ones, keep them all separated from the pack. He wants to yank Benji down by them, but instead, he pushes the tags up and back into his shirt. The soft feel of his fingertips on that barest hint of skin is enough to make a little firework go off inside Xavier’s lower stomach. He pats the other man’s side happily.
“Your accent’s cute.”
“Xavier, Christ—”
“Dude, I have you in the backseat of a car—I’m really not trying to fuck right now—”
Benji’s weight adjusts enough to make Xavier see stars again, that grinding sensation pushing his own tactical belt harder into his hips. He has to bite off a sound that would be half pained and half, really, really, really not pained.
“Then what’re you doing?”
“Move,” Xavier grunts, hands on Benji’s side and trying to manipulate their bodies.
“Piss off, you’re too big—Don’t grin like that. I didn’t mean your co—Wanker, you’re—Ow—Xavier.”
Benji is seething out his words by the time Xavier manages to get on top of him. He’s panting with the exertion it took to move them both, but his face is proudly lit up now that he’s maneuvered himself to look down at the combat medic. One of his legs is fallen into the footed area of the backseat, the other hitched up a little, but firmly on Benji’s side. He looks flushed and pretty and Xavier’s hand takes his chin, full palm and fingers holding him in one giant grip.
When he kisses him, it’s the same as their first kiss, just with a lot less blood. Still maybe, too much tongue. He can feel either of their facial hair making burns across their skin, he can feel the movement of Benji’s entire body up against him. He can taste the man, and it makes him feel that much more tight and wound up and almost angry. Xavier kisses harder, feels Benji’s hand wind back into his hair. Feels the scratch of his blunt fingernails and it makes Xavier unhitch, lean back and sigh out a sound that has Benji’s facial expression looking obscene.
“Why’d you yank me in ‘ere if we’re not…” Benji’s words trail off, his throat bobbing with a swallow. Xavier’s lips feel tingly from how hard they’d been pressed to his mouth.
“Sometimes, when I look at you,” Xavier starts, hand trailing over Benji’s chest. “You, this good boy soldier, with all your good boy soldier buddies. Man,” he leans in, grinds his cheek against Benji’s, grinds his full body down on him. He huffs out and then breathes in deeply the smell of Benji. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s like—Man, I wanna fuck you.”
“Look, no offense, mate—I’d be doin’ the fucking. Like, look at you. You’re asking for it all the time, practically.” And it makes Xavier laugh, makes his teeth bite into Benji’s cheek, which makes Benji’s hand slap down hard on Xavier’s thigh—probably aiming for his ass, but they’re all wonky, crunched up against each other in the weirdest of positions. Still makes Xavier’s hips buck forward, their tac’d geared bodies hard together.
“No one’s fucking anyone,” Xavier says, wrapping hands around Benji’s wrists and pinning them up against the back seat window. He’s shocked that Benji doesn’t immediately rip out the grip—the man’s strong. Real strong and Xavier knows it. Is very fond of how strong he is, but Benji’s looking up at him, like he’s curious, but like he’s also—nah. Not afraid. But, something else is there. Worry? Suspicion?
Xavier lets a wrist go to slide his arm up under Benji’s shoulders and grunts when he gets them both close again.
“Ignore my boner.”
“I’m trying, mate. Trust me. I am trying.”
Then Xavier kisses him again, his fingers tightening around Benji’s wrist, his thumb pressing against the pulse point. He kisses him until both of them are struggling to breathe and then he parts just to kiss him again.
“Like, all I could think of, watching you, was how bad you needed a fucking hug.” Xavier’s chest is tight to Benji’s, so he can feel the way the medic flinches, shudders full body. Probably has to do with the belt buckle Xavier knows was just shoved into his own tail bone. “Man, it’s crazy how bad I just want to—Dude, I could squeeze you till you fuckin’ snapped in my arms. I mean, not literally. You’re like, very broad. Very muscular. But you get it right?”
“It’s hot when you ramble, Xavier, but real hard to follow the plot when you’re drooling.”
“I’m drooling?” He quickly swipes a hand over his mouth, cheeks dark and red. “Anyway, let me get to the point. You ever look at someone and instantly want—not like want to fuck them? Right? But want,” he tilts his head and looks at Benji and really looks at him. Scruffy, tired looking, worn at the edges and frayed about. Xavier’s thumb digs into his wrist again, makes Benji’s brows pinch harder, his lips part to speak again. “Like just a hug? Right? You get that, right?”
The car windows have fogged because of all their heavy breathing. And Xavier’s leg is quickly going numb. He feels a nervous sensation in his stomach, a weird fluttering—that has nothing to do with the semi half hard on he has pressed against Benji’s thigh.
“Yeah,” is how the medic replies, after a long stretch of silence. His words pop a bubble and Xavier falls back down on him.
“Jesus, never make me explain myself again. That was like the most I’ve strung a thought together in a month. And it didn’t even include explosives; which are the more fun things I get to do as a criminal—”
“Look, merc, let’s keep kissin’ alright? I got to rendezvous with SAS eventually.”
Xavier rises up from where he’d laid his head on Benji’s chest and he pretends not to see an extra emotion on the mans face when they kiss again. Pretends not to notice how much softer and supple his body is against him. Pretends that it doesn't make Xavier’s chest hurt to think about it; that Benji might have had someone not content enough with a stolen fucking kiss in the back of shitty car, limbs getting sore and cranky from being shoved together like this.
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Hi, do you still keep touch with norowareshimono? How is she? I remember she switched fandoms long ago, but does she plan to glance back at dgm? I was a fan of hers (and yours! haha), I adore how she managed to pick up Japanese, her contributions were huge.
omg hiii <3 that's such a sweet ask!
I am indeed still in contact with Noro! We still talk once in a while. She's been very busy lately, life hasn't cut her any slack recently @.@
we've talked about dgm recentlyish and she did mention to me she fell behind a little but was planning on going back to it when she gets a little more time. though i don't know if it means she'll come back to post about it.
I did transfer her your ask though!
here's how she replied:
It really cheered her up and i'm so happy for that <333
That's genuinely so sweet and i'm so happy you felt this way. Noro's analysis were always fascinating to read, because she really ended up looking deep into the Japanese text or extended material (like interviews) that we wouldn't normally have access to, and i loved how she could point out to hidden meanings we weren't usually tuned to because of the language barrier.
i love to overanalyse things and i'm so touched you liked also my contribution to it, but truly being able to point at things i thought were worth looking into and having Noro deep dive into the Japanese pages to comment on that has been one of the most inspiring and fascinating way i've approached dgm.
I owe a lot to the angle Noro brought to those readings. And an interview Noro translated was what made so much of dgm click to me and has been a basis for my analysis since then. I genuinely feel like Noro's contribution to the fandom has been enlightening, i genuinely owe her so much for it.
The fact others people agree about it, even now after all these years, just makes me so happy. Noro really deserves all the praise, and she mentioned further in the conversation we had about your ask that it was so unexpected and confusing, but especially she felt so honored about it, it genuinely made her day and that makes me so happy for her sake.
So thank you very much for this ask, and as Noro's friend, thank you so much for brightening her day like you just did <333
Hope you have a nice day anon, and hopefully we'll discuss all of those again one day <33
take care!!
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i saw your post about feeling like you have no impact and i had to tell you - your art means the world to me.
i'm autistic, and a lot of art on this app often makes me feel yucky for seemingly no reason; but yours is comforting. i love scrolling through your art tag for hours upon hours because it just makes me feel safe.
it might not seem like much, but your work has made my world infinitely better and i cannot thank you enough for that.
i hope one day you can understand exactly how much impact you and other content creators have on each of your tiny little followers out here. speaking solely for myself, life is so much better having even the tiniest place of peace and your blog has become that.
i also know a lot of artists stop sharing the creations from their own minds because people on the internet can be so terrible. i hope you never have to face that and that you do continue to share with us. you owe us nothing and i am so happy to see that you post regardless.
- 🌻
thank you anon this one made me tear up a bit gjdkf <3 <3
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Jason Peter the first flash was talking to Hal, Wally and Barry about the mission. They all just did with the suicide squad help as well, helping take down the villain, they had to face against
I have to met that was the most chaotic mission  I think I have ever faced my existence, being the flash well welcome to Gotham city Hal how said with a salute well, I can’t be all that bad right Barry Barry ?
Barry didn’t answer Jason question to occupied with something else across for them was Harley Bart, and Captain boomerang Harley and Bart with sitting in the couch, talking about anything about the whole mission.
Captain boomer, and the other hand, was lenient edge, of the couch, talking to Bart and Harley, with a beer in his hand, drinking it Jason was confused what was very looking at over there until he realized Barry was looking at that poor man’s behind Jason slept Barry‘s head without any warning smack
Ow what the hell was that for Barry ask confusing looking at the first the flash with a confused look.
Young man has anyone told you it’s pretty rude to look at someone’s behind what Barry was more confused until he looked back at boomerang and realized oh wait no I didn’t mean to no no no no that’s not. Don’t lie to me Barry I seen too many. Awful men looking at my woman’s behind and I had to give them a lesson to respect their manners like I’m doing to you
One second Hal and Wally starts laughing oh, this is the best day of my fucking life how said with a choked laugh it seems nice and innocent angel got in trouble looking at his rouges. Ass How does it feel buddy pal? You should make him apologize Wally said laughing even harder
You know, that’s a pretty good idea Wally what Barry said horrified excuse me young man over there. Wait wait no no no no no no no I promise I won’t do it again just please I’m begging, you no
——🦋


Usually I try to go through my asks from the oldest to the newest, but I can't help myself, I adore this prompt :} so it'll be first! Also thank u for that, Butterfly anon <3
---
Jay wasn't huge on helping Suicide Squad at first, but after a few times Bart and Barry came back all jumpy and excited, even he had to rethink his stand on the TFX missions. In the end, it was better to be close to the possible danger.
So here he was, now after their first mission together, standing next to Wally, Hal and Barry, while the rest of their merry group watched a silly cartoon next to them. At this point, their conversation strayed back onto the topic of their little "get together". It's not that Jay didn't see the trio a lot, but time was different for every speedster in some way. Barry, so alike Bart, hated the way a second could last days, so he usually tried his best not to be "faster" in that way and took time traveling risks only when needed - or so he said.
"...and like usual, it'd be way smoother without your hot-headed temperament, Hal - right Barry?" a softly delivered joke went through the Flash, making the younger speedster stop and look at the man. Jay noticed that the blue eyes were staring at something on their left, so he followed them with his own glare.
At first glance, their dear superhero was just looking at the rest of their team. Bart and Harley were sat on the couch, younger ranting about something connected to Johnny Bravo, which was playing in front of them.
While it was a sweet sight, Jay couldn't help, but notice that the thing in actual first plan wasn't them, nor the couch, but Captain Boomerang, bent over the back of the couch, lazily sipping a beer. His long body was strung up in some places, making the t-shirt a tight fit over his back. But if it'd be that what caught Barry's eyes, Jay wouldn't find even a small issue with it, but the glaring wasn't ending on the upper part of Boomer's body - it was on the lower part. If Flash would have Superman's powers, he'd burn the Rouge alive.
Jay couldn't help the automatic response of slapping Barry upside his head, a disappointed grimace on his face.
"Ow, what was that for?" Flash looked at him, obviously confused, until Jay answered his question.
"Barry, I cannot believe you from all people would stare at someone's... behind like that." the older man's tone was softly quiet, yet still offended.
If Hal and Wally wouldn't be who they are, maybe they wouldn't catch his words. But usually when you put a space cop and one of beacons of hope together, you should expect them to catch things others don't.
Barry hates that fact right now, his face burning from embarrassment, when they side glance at the same place he was looking at, noticing the Rouge bent over.
"No, no, no, no! It's not like-!" he scrambled to explain, before Jay shot him a judgy look.
"Barry, do not lie to me, you were eyeing him like he's a steak! I've met a lot of men who couldn't stop looking at others like that, but I cannot believe you, my boy, would be one of them." he shakes his head lightly. "I just- I didn't even think you of all people would need to learn some manners!"
While Barry gets redder, almost matching his suit, Hal and Wally can't contain their laughter.
"Oh my stars, it's the funniest shit. Did- Did our beloved sweet angel got caught staring at Boomer's ass?!" GL shook hysterically, while laughing with his whole body. His left hand landed on Flashes arm, shaking him while the owner hid his face. "How does it feel ending up on the dark side, huh?"
Wally, before his mentor could react, chuckled and said jokingly:
"You should make him apologize, Jay, that'll teach him!"
The older Flash considered it visibly, before nodding his head in agreement, making Barry freeze in his place in fear.
"You know what, that's not a bad idea-"
"No, no, no, no-! Jay, please, you know me! It was just a moment of weakness, it won't happen again! C'mon, please, no- I'll stop, I swear, I will-!"
#idk#probably bad english#bsing trough life#<3#ssktjl#flash x captain boomerang#boomerflash#captain boomerang#writing#bad writing#flasherang#flasharang#butterfly anon
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