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crymeariveronceagain · 10 months

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the thesis of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein atm appears to be "it is worse to be lonely than to have never been created at all" and i just think, actually, that that is something that can be so personal

#frankenstein #summer tbr #k so i was chronically lonely as a child #during some like specific years #10-13 specifically #i had next to no friends #hung out with very few people #lost a lot of my social circle #anyways can confirm #it is almost worse to be lonely #than to never have been created at all

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hella1975 · 8 months

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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

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yellowocaballero · 2 months

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Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible.#in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

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xhanisai · 7 months

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In an ideal world, a cake shop that only sells niche flavoured cakes would do as well as a cake shop that sells popular flavoured cakes.

But this is not the world we live in unfortunately. So instead of dwelling on the comparison between your niche work and other people's popular work, it is best to try and focus on the love and passion you have for your stuff and the fans you gain overtime who enjoy seeing your creations :)

Don't be shy in constantly sharing your stuff on your platform because there will always be at least one new person who can be potentially interested in what you have to offer.

#Obviously it isn't an easy mindset and it never will be #But creating something and sharing it online regardless of numbers #Is better than not doing it at all #My fanfics and fanart on tumblr has actually been getting lower and lower numbers as the years go by #But because I keep creating I also end up improving and polishing my skills #And going back to my old stuff and seeing the progress I made is very uplifting #And no matter the numbers I will always have good friends who enjoy my work #These good friends I made by sharing my stuff in the first place

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dykedvonte · 2 months

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thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans

I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).

When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.

I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.

House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.

As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.

Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.

#tdlr House saw Benny as the perfect face of his Legacy while Benny saw his legacy as a stagnant mosquito infested pond #its more complex as house certainly would of been irate if he hadn't known and the courier came to kick benny's ass #but more someone being mad youre fucking with their things #i likely thing that even in a more traditional father son relationship House is conditional and would force Benny to confrom more to his #standards as I also believe the Chairmen are more tightly monitered due to bennys unique relation to house and being the first tribe #so itd be smothering and oppressive for someone like Benny even though imposing his beliefs and standards would be how House shows affectio #and fatherly praise which would result in Benny probably wanting to act out even more. like the only way a father son dynamic is healthy an #works is if house would relent some control and show he sees benny as an equal which would never happen cause its house but its still tragi #to me cause house has that longing for something more personal to him than Vegas and tries to fill it with progress cause its rather hard #to create those bonds in the state he is in and benny was the closest thing to that and even that he inadvertently ruined #but on benny house kinda ruined him cause the chairmen for all intents and purposes liked and trusted benny as a leader after bingo who #benny really only killed because of the illusions of grandeur house put into a young impressionable mind and how bingo refused to hear him #not to absolve him of his wrongdoings and being a dick but benny didnt just attack bingo he challenged him and won and in the end while #nostalgic none of the chairmen choose to leave and go back to the old way which says something cause they can leave #this is long and honestly should a seperate post on benny cause i have thoughts on him and how more people need to add his all roads traits #to get a cohesive picture of how hed really act #benny gecko #benny fnv #fallout #fallout new vegas #robert edwin house #mr house fnv #mr house #ask #anon #sorry if this is confusing I have very indepth thoughts on all aspects and possibilites on how unhealthy and power inbalancey anything #with house would be but this is so interesting cause its oddly vulnerable for house of all people to disclose this to the courier

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ywpd-translations · 10 months

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Ride 738: Towards to scorching hot stage!!

Pag 1

The climax of the training camp arc!!

Pag 2

The incandescent battle is starting!!

Sohoku, towards the Inter High!!

Pag 3

4: It's so hot

It's so hot suddenly!!

I can't do this anymore, I'll take a two hours break

I'm your buddy, so I'l also take a two hours break!!

5: The weather on the third day of training camp....

Pag 4

1: is scorching hot

Pag 5

3: Kakaka it's pouring out!!

Pouring out!!

5: Sweat!!

Pag 6

1: Finding shade and running like this seriously exhausts our stamina!!

2: Yeah!!

5: Murakamii!!

Pag 7

1: Yessir!

3: Thanks!!

Thank you!!

Pag 8

1: Kaa....!! Cold water feels so good...!!

Hyaaa.... it works..!!

2: The standard spots to pour water on yourself are face, head, and back, Onoda-kun

Putting it in yous stomach also feels so good, but

3: In one shot you'll upset your stomach and then a toilet hell will await you

O-okay!! Scary...

4: Alright, we're refreshed!! Let's raise the pace again, Onoda-kun!!

Okay!!

Pag 9

1: Naruko-san....

3: Incredible... the senpais aren't taking a break and keep running

Despite how hot it is...

4: By the way, have you noticed?

Huh?

Their jerseys

5: Since this training camp started, the senpais

6: have been wearing long-sleeved jerseys

Pag 10

1: Why!? Ah! It's true, Imaizumi-san... and Kaburagi-san too

They should just take it off, since it's so hot

2: Is it a way of training?

Like carrying a burden to power up?

A heavy burden

3: I'm sorry... my left knee hurts

Is that so?

4: I was overly optimistic... I thought that if I did a good job.... and succeed in this training camp, then I'd be one of the six members

But....

5: To overcome everything and keep fighting, you need physical preparation

6: Just being cunning won't open the way

7: I understand, I accept your retiring

But

Pag 11

1: You'll work behind the scenes for the last two days

There's a lot of work to do behind the scenes, and this time you'll do it with all your strength!!

3: If you want to become stronger, you have to study and watch other run, too

Observe, discover. There are things you can only discover when you're not pedaling

4: Not a single second is a moment you can't learn!!

5: It might be the first time I meet such an intense senpai...

“Learn”.... Naruko-san....

6: I want to become stronger, I'll do my best

Let's add ice

7: The jerseys have a meaning too, I'm sure

It's not just a careless burden

Pag 12

1: There's something!!

Human bodis have the ability to adapt

2: From spring to summer

3: From autumn to winter, we meet seasonal changes and adapt

We do it two times a year

4: The body naturally creates its own system to face the hot and cold according to the climate

5: Just like during summer the leaves grow green and thickly

6: While during winter the leaves fall

7: You can't see it with your eyes, bt our skin, bones, sweat glands, and muscles, go through dramatic changes

Pag 13

1: The proof is that, during summer, 10° are so cold you feel like freezing, but during winter it feels warm

2: To force that adaptation faster, that's the meaning of these long-sleeved jerseys!!

3: Adapting takes time. So we're adapting to heat earlier to prepare for the summer Inter High!! Our bodies too!!

4: Yeah!!

5: After all, this year's summer is gonna be our third Inter High!!

Pag 16

3: Kyushu, Kumamoto Prefecture, Mount Aso

Pag 17

1: Do you know? A long time ago.... they say that here, as far as your eyes could see, there was a hugh volcano surrounding this scenery

2: Huh, really?

When humans still hunted with stone tools

3: There were four big explosions and the mountain collapsed in the magma pit

4: With a diameter of 25km, it's the largest caldera in the world.... and it made this outer rim of the crater

So, the cities, roads, and fields we can see from here, inside the muntain?

Yeah

Pag 18

1: I can feel it, somehow....

The breath of the earth

2: With my whole body... yon!!

3: Fou!! Really!? I can only see this huge scenery....

!! No, I can feel it...!! Fou

Pag 19

1: This splendid scenery and steep slopes

2: This magnificent nature

3: An unpaved side road that appears from time to time

4: We came to.... inspect the race's course

5: and chose a “road bike”, but

6: Ah!! I get it!! I was thinking about it now!!

7: I wish we had bought our “mountain bikes”, yon!!

Fou!!

There's so many roads that make me want to run!!

I totally get that!!

Pag 20

1: Our third and last Inter High will be in the scorching hot Kyushu!! In the “land of fire”, Kumamoto

2: Mount Aso

Pag 21

1: will be our stage!!

Pag 22

1: It's gonna be a hot one, this Inter High!!

2: It's burning up

3: Our final last stage

Pag 23

1: Red like magma!!

2: Challenge!! The last Inter High!!

Yes!!

Yeah!!

Pag 24

2: At CSP, Sohoku High School racing team's training camp is 3 / 4 done

Everyone is riding at their buddy's pace

3: Many of the first and second years retired, but even so, the third day ended without any incident

4: Currently, there are 8 people in the top ranking who could be chosen as Inter High members

There's only the last day

5: The fourth day

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 738 #helloooo we're baaaack!!! god how i've missed yowapeda :') i was forgetting who i am without it for the past 3 weeks #i hope sensei had a good rest tho! just like i did lmao #anyway! literally nothing happens in this chapter lmao but!! gotta love the way sensei makes Kiji show up even when theres no need #he's showing up more than manami and midosuji at this point xD sensei created him and decided he never wanted to let him go #and honestly??? yes yes sensei pls keep going we love to see it we're also very much in love with Kiji Kyuui thank you #if you ever doubted that kiji will have a great role in the ih then think again bc watanabe will show him more than he'll show sohoku #the spotlight is all his #btw i also love what naruko said to murakami! nothing better than to see our boys act like the senpai they now are!#i loved how he basically said 'you have to practice you cant just be a little shit and hope for the best' lmao #(btw i know i have some asks and messages i still havent replied to! but i havent been home and tbh i havent been on tumblr much #but i promise ill reply to everything tomorrow!)

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genericpuff · 9 months

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an epitaph

#no salt but i get this question a lot because a lot of people naturally assume rekindled is my first comic project ??#y'all rekindled couldn't be made the way it is WITHOUT experience #please don't use me as an example of a wunderkind #i'm a 27 year old with a dowager's hump and hip problems because of how long i've been doing this #i get that people are saying this with good intentions because they want to see me “be more” than just an LO shitposter #but this is the end result not the first step LMAO #just hurts my soul a little bit because damn those 10 years really didn't amount to anything huh TT-TT #nah ok that's harsh i have readers on the time gate side who i'm very thankful for #and those 10 years were necessary to get me to the point i'm at today where i could create rekindled for you all <3 #so trying to be grateful not upset LOL #always the alt never the main #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #lore rekindled #lore rekindled comic #original work #time gate #project reaper #projectreapercomics

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aurora-313 · 5 months

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Random new year thought that I might make into a fanfic at some point:

Ichigo is meant to be this perfect culmination-slash-combination of everything but imagine an AU where Ichigo's contradicting origins (Shinigami/Hollow/Human/Quincy gag) actively handicapped him. Not the lazy 'Yhawch parasite holding him back' explanation. Simply by his very nature, its impossible for any of his powers to manifest to advanced levels without threatening to implode.

Try to advance his Hollow powers? His Quincy powers deteriorate.

Try to advance his Quincy powers? His Hollow powers deteriorate.

Try to advance his Shinigami powers? His Hollow powers love every second but his Quincy side weakens dramatically.

Try to advance Shinigami and Quincy together? Hollow wants a slice of the pie.

Try to advance Hollow and Quincy? Gets no where slowly because they're anathema - very nearly killing himself in the process.

No amount of 'achieving inner balance' would help him with it because by the nature of his existence, he lacks capacity to do these things. The only reason Ichigo managed to gain a high tier shinigami technique like Bankai in the first place? Yoruichi used a doll to force out a twisted malformed parody out of him.

Which would place a whole new spin on the asauchi trial when he fails: O'etsu reveals Ichigo's bankai shattered so easily because he was never supposed to have one in the first place.

Ichigo can never obtain a true Bankai or Vollstandig or Resurrección because the other aspects of his powers violently reject that from happening. At best he can mix-max his base stats to levels far beyond anything others could achieve but he would never obtain the advanced techniques of a pure Shinigami, Hollow or Quincy.

Ichigo could be like Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. Compared to the powerhouses of Kyle Katarn or Starkiller aka. Galen Marek, Luke is actually quite weak. But he brought balance to the force, he brought down an empire and his very name has the ability to shakes worlds (before Disney ruined him).

In my mind, that is the ultimate power Ichigo should've had. Not copious amounts of actual power piled upon him by being a cosmic paradox and freak of nature. His power comes from his symbolism, his feats of will, his ability to inspire change and unshakeable loyalty through sheer force of personality.

Especially since one themes of Bleach is how power shackles and isolates a person. The complete opposite of that theme would be not necessarily the most powerful character, but one with the greatest ability to forge bonds despite that?

It'd be interesting to see how Bleach's narrative would change from that perspective.

#bleach #anti tybw #ichigo kurosaki #fic idea?#Because Ichigo being overpowered amounted to nothing #I personally think it would've been interesting if he swung in completely the opposite direction #all these contradiction origins made him weaker by diluting his power pool #Make Aizen and Yhwach both have a point #Aizen wanted to create something stronger than base shinigami and did succeed #but at the cost of them losing he capacity to use higher techniques #giving the Quincy's whole pureblood stance something of a point too #Pureblood quincy can use the ultimate techniques of their race easily that their mixed blood counterparts can't #So Ichigo proves both their points:#As a mixed blood: his raw stats will outstrip anyone he comes across with time and training #at the same time he'll never be able to pull out the move glamourous techniques

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variousqueerthings · 8 months

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the thing is I do quite like individual stephen moffat episodes, I think they're good episodes. they get less good when you start to see patterns of writing and how he has a tendency of beating a dead horse + ongoing sexism which may be missed in one episode, but becomes very clear through repetition, but if one considers them as one-offs they're Neat bits of writing. it's when he tries to make it longform that it all falls to pieces for me and reverberates back. his lore is a mess and consequently so are his characters if one spends more than an episode or two with them.

#anti moffat #im rewatching doctor who #the measurement #we're at silence of the library and meeting river song #and she's quite a different character to who she becomes later in the show but already got some Stuff that rubs me the wrong way #i would call this moffat's issue with creating someone 'worthy' of the doctor #he talked about that before in terms of madame de pompadour #and so river song Has to become The most interesting most badass most capable most witty most knowledgeable etcetc #has to know everything about the doctor that nobody else knows + have all the same adventures as the other companions #so it's no longer their adventures with the doctor and their stories - she's shoved on top of them to be better than all of them #so none of them were worthy enough -- not compared to her. and then ofc later on she's part timelord as well to really hammer it home #unfortunately river song on the show never worked for me #she ticks every box of things i dont like about moffat's writing and it only becomes moreso as the show continues #but maybe in the audio dramas where she's got more personality -- i have been curious about it

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stellerssong · 2 months

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ok sorry the OTHER thing about lucienne is like. as previously stated she is dream's handpicked emissary from the waking world to the dreaming she's the diplomat in chief she's the translator she's the bridge. because the dreaming is, in a very real way, dream's own psyche, this is tantamount to giving lucienne a tremendous degree of access to his interiority and by transitive property also tantamount to entering into a deeply emotionally intimate relationship with her (unimportant for the purposes of this post whether that relationship is platonic or romantic).

now, in general, looking at the pattern of dream's close emotional relationships—dream doesn't share himself with people as a rule (beyond the access that all things that live have to the dreaming; but i'm talking about his self here, the one he doesn't like to acknowledge he even has), but when he does share with people, it's with people who have some shadow on the soul, so to speak. just looking at attested relationships in show canon, his deepest emotional connection seems to be with death, who embodies the duality of light and dark even better than he does himself. calliope is the muse of epic poetry—heroism and tragedy—and also bears the sort of divine pride that led her to cut dream off for hundreds or thousands of years when he wronged her. the less said about that other guy, the better, but he's no sunshine-rainbows-unicorns type—he's a soldier of fortune, a bandit and a killer, a man who profits from the sale of human life. even best bird matthew, in comix canon, had a sordid past that will maybe be partially retconned for the show but has still been gestured at.

dream likes the complicated ones. he's drawn to them. they speak to something in him that he won't acknowledge in himself (he has to be Whole, fully integrated, without reservation, because he is the king and he is the dreaming and if the dreaming ain't whole then the universe is in trouble—but he feels that ache nonetheless).

all that is to say: when people try to portray lucienne as dream's Designated Well-Adjusted Neurotypical Friend, i begin to harm and maim.

#chatter #as usual there is a larger pattern of behavior around this post that has been making me crazy for some time #it's the ''holder of the braincell'' trope but it's also just like the flattening of female characters of color in every possible dimension #so many people are terrified. TERRIFIED. to imagine a woman of color's pain #because the demands of shallow progressivism are such that they require you to acknowledge that A Black Woman Has Suffered More #Than Anyone Else Ever In The History Of The World Ever; Because Of Racism #but the demands of wider fandom are such that they require you to buy into the concept that A White Man's Suffering #Is The Only Suffering Worthy Of Care Attention Or Interest.#can't handle the dichotomy so instead they create the imago of a Black woman who has never suffered anything ever #she cannot be mentally ill; she cannot be disabled; if she is queer then it is in a way that is wholly self-contained and complete #and not ambiguous or in flux in any way; and most important of ALL she can never have experienced racism.#because racism As We Know is the worst form of suffering. so if she'd suffered racism then that would make her more worthy of #compassion than White Guy No. 37. which must not be #the very idea that lucienne is simply at peace with herself and the dreaming with no further complication.......like!#WOMEN OF COLOR ARE NEVER AFFORDED THAT KIND OF CERTAINTY. ARE YOU STUPID.#and by the way being reserved/calm/unassuming/practical are NOT absolute indicators of mental wellness.#y'all can see this when it's a white guy what is your fucking DAMAGE when it comes to women of color.#OPEN YOUR EYES. USE YOUR POWERS OF DEDUCTIVE REASONING. DREAM DIDN'T CHOOSE HER TO BE HIS THERAPIST.#DREAM CHOSE HER BECAUSE; PRESUMABLY; SHE ACHES. SHE CONTRADICTS. SHE GRAPPLES WITH THE SHADOW ON THE MIND.#SOMETHING IN HIM SEES A KINDRED SOUL IN HER. WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

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sysig · 2 months

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One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

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hurlumerlu · 5 months

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The thing about Miw's - idk how to put it - very 2010s brand of girl power is that it is such a front and such an epidermic reaction to being constantly sexualized and having no real recourse against that. Of course she's all "I'm not a bitch I'm THE bitch" and "eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man" and "men will be bewitched and hand over their wallets" ! She can't escape any of this shit so might as well spin things to make it about what she can do with it ! She doesn't want to feel or be perceived as powerless ever again. And on the other side of that feeling is her constant emphasis on sisterhood, either real - with the other girls at the bar - or desperately wished for. That's what she appeals to in order to connect with the hotel manager, even though for this woman Miw is nothing compared to the freedom she's seeking. It's also what allows her to - however briefly - connect with Mae and sincerely apologize for the pain she caused her. Miw, unapologetic as a matter of principle (because Lean In, girl !) recognizes she hurt another woman even though she was only protecting herself and is truly, genuinely empathetic about it. And even though 3 will be free is a love story, Miw "girls rules !" front partially being a response to her hard life isn't a transparent excuse to heal her with the love of a Good Man (that's the entire point of Luang's character). This is why her non-romantic relationship with Shin is so important ! It was never about a Bad Girl going Good for the love of an honest man, it's about a woman constantly having to deal with objectification - and being scolded and/or punished no matter how she does so - finally being seen as a full person, and loved both for her sharp edges and her soft ones.

#also why neo being a male sex worker creates interesting friction between their characters and in their romance :#in a way he's been there (being objectified) and in another he's never been there (being a woman in a patriarcal system)#so he both gets it and absolutely doesn't (while thinking he gets it)#and then you have mae & ter's whole weird thing where he is often patronizing but never transphobic #and how it's both gender affirming and utterly infuriating to her #this show's gender politics are so interesting #like i don't love everything #and i have notes #but it goes so much further than you'd think watching their silly discount carmina burana opening #3 will be free #sorry i have lots of feelings today and they're all over the place #don't know how i feel about the use of empathetic but i have nothing else on hand right now

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talaricula · 4 months

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a rly underrated thing about crazy ex girlfriend imo is that it's one of the rare shows i know of that really spends time on exploring what the process of having children is like for queer ppl/for those who go about it "non-normatively". it's not even rly a main storyline but i still find it rly well-handled and touching.

#idk i feel like in the general consciousness (deciding to) having kids as a queer person is either treated as impossible #(which is true to an extent in some jurisdictions tbf - at least if you want the legal status of parents)#or is imo way oversimplified #like yeah most ppl know ivf is A Fucking Process but many ppl still seem to underestimate iui for example #or there's an assumption that all couples with no sperm between them choose to use a sperm bank and that that process is easy #and doesn't require any reflection (which it isn't and it does)#or that if you choose to go with a known donor finding a donor is an easy process (which it also rly isn't)#or for couples where no one can get pregnant that surrogacy goes without saying (in addition to the fact that surrogacy is banned #in Many Places where other MAR techniques aren't #finding a surrogate is also orders of magnitude more difficult than finding a gamete donor)#or that adoption is an obvious solution - idk if those ppl know any gay couples who are trying to adopt but i do #they've been in the process for SIX psychologically excruciating years and it will likely be another year before they actually have a child #and that's for white college-educated materially comfortable ppl #and idk but cxg does a rly good job with the storyline - from Darryl and White Josh's disagreement about whether to have kids #to Darryl's decision to have a kid alone #to him asking Heather and Rebecca for help with that process #to the fact that Heather and Rebecca's feelings about Hebecca are v realistic and nuanced atm #not at all maternal bc that's never what they wanted or planned for (being a mother to this child) but also not indifferent #for example the 'hello nice to meet you' reprise - i legit think that's the only time i've ever seen a known donor's attitude and feelings #about the child they helped create but in no way consider 'theirs' being explored. even in thirty seconds.#or even just the fact that Darryl is a lawyer and requests help from both a gamete donor and a gestational carrier - yes!#as far as i understand in the us 'surrogacy' (one person being pregnant with their own ovule) gives the pregnant person legal parental stat #and thus requires giving up those rights and sometimes adoption after birth #while 'splitting things up' between a donor and a carrier also cuts through that 'biological' link for the purposes of legal recognition #i might be wrong in my understanding of this but if not it's cool to see it handled realistically including wrt how the legal consequences #influences decisions about which choices you make #reproduction cw #children cw #adoption cw

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greekromann · 8 months

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the version of tashigi that lives in my head is soooo much cooler than anything oda could ever hope to write about women. oda doesnt understand her I Do Though

#the smoker and tashigi episodes that live in my mind. oda wishes. he wishes he were me #this is true of every woman in 1pc but its so frustrating watching any scene with tashigi bc like #yes shes clumsy scatterbrained etc etc those are fine those can stay bc through all that shes. SUPPOSED to be competent. shes been /said/#to defeat strong opponents and theres a /reason/ shes smokers right hand but odas allergic to letting women fight onscreen. bc hes a coward #im taking her away from him im taking away his tashigi rights. Girl You Are So Cool To Me #this is like. gdjgffgjdhf between tashigi and kuina oda does this thing where hes like. ''what if i almost engaged with being a woman in a #heavily gendered society in an interesting way and i /talked/ about doing so but then never follow up on that. so rather than creating a #story that includes gender norms for the purpose of questioning them i just /talked/ about questioning them but then reinforced them with my #starring cast of characters bc im incapable of writing a woman who isnt Dainty. what then.“ and what happens then is i Bite him #and by 'allergic to letting women fight onscreen' i mean. women can only fight women and if theyre NOT fighting women they still have to be #Elegant or Feminine about it and occasionally a woman could defeat a Man™ but shes always gotta be Pretty about it. nami complains about #fighting and robin Only Slaps People Bc She Doesnt Like Punching :( and tashigi (whos fighting style is more traditionally. yknow. Fighty)#doesnt get to Do that often or when she Does she gets put out of commission early and its. Bro You Are So Close #head in my hands. 1pc is good i love it dont get me wrong but i could make it Better

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levitanias · 4 months

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thinking about frankenstein's monster again, not anything in particular just kinda brain rotating him like he's the well liked side character of a bad shonen anime

#i'm always thinking about jekyll and hyde though i've been obsessed with those guys since i was way younger #but mister frankenstein's monster has wormed his way into my heart #i'm much too sleepy right now to finish it but when i wake up i hope to continue a video i was watching about the original novel #the concept of frankenstein's monster itself just astounds me it's so great #just everything about it #it feels like a commentary of sorts and maybe it is maybe it isn't #i thought to be thy adam but i am rather the fallen angel #victor is his creator and while not necessarily his god the monster is HIS adam #while the monster had to learn the customs of man he did not truly have to learn how to be man itself #he was created with emotion and the abilities man posses #all he ever wanted was to live and as a creature born with the passion to live amongst men as much as any other man he couldn’t #a hell within itself #and a hell that he did not deserve #a tragedy he could not help and a series of tragedies that overcame him #to not be able to be loved by man and yet be surrounded by him is a worse fate than death #he surely would have rather never lived at all #or maybe been invisible to man entirely #i have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe #if i cannot satisfy the one i will indulge the other #he is a creature of emotion cursed to a life of blind rage #in any other world would he have met a different fate? not at all #man cannot change and he cannot change how he first perceived man and how he was perceived by him #maybe im crazy though #i am crazy im a crazy person!!!#nimposting

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moregraceful · 9 months

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staring at my time begins fic like i have never been less activated by anything in my life

#staring at ALL my creative projects like i have never been less activated by anything in my life #jasbah was like i think you need to pick up reading or tv. do input rather than output. and i was like i can't read #it's making me so cranky in my nonwork hours like brain...please do something....please get activated....#i know it's just bc i'm extremely tired from 10hr trainings every week and being on zoom legit like once a day for MINIMUM an hr #but also. i would like to be activated. i am becoming mirrorverse kasper without creating something #i met some of the onsite staff i'll be working with today and they were like ''do you feel ~connected~ to the ghost emoji''#i was like..... yeah. yeah i do #fresno oilers.txt

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