"Jade said 'I'm going fishing for octopus today.' Maybe I should cook up a whole roasted moray eel."

Rexy's Cats OCs Part 2: Gus's Family

So in my headcanon, Gus has had three sons and several daughters, though only oldest son Asparagus Jr, daughter-in-law Jellylorum, and a couple grandkids still live with the tribe.

Abraxas

(a-BRAKS-uhs) Gus's second son, who didn't like not being in charge and left to start his own tribe. Sometimes comes back to mess with the Jellicles and try to steal tribe members away for his own.

Oozes sociopath vibes

Charming manipulative bastard

Always has an answer for your criticisms

So obsessed with manipulating you he sometimes loses sight of what he was originally trying to get from you

Sometimes accidentally contradicts himself because of this

Still usually gets away with it because charisma

Fucking hates Deuteronomy

Has stolen like half the tribe, most of whom are never seen again

The Jellicles aren't the only tribe he's done this to

Did I mention he's a bastard?

Will lie for lulz

Extremely jealous of Spara

Had a different mother, and was very upset to no longer be the oldest when Spara's mum revealed his existence in their early childhood

Went downhill from there

Gus stopped putting up with his bullshit when Brax started turning his silver tongue on Deuteronomy

Gus knows what's up and Brax hates it

Average height and lean

Short, rough fur

Rust-brown and white

Like you know how Spara looks? Like that but more white in the face and chest, and a ruddier brown

Pale green eyes

Nickname: Brax, and also "Tribesplitter" cuz he's started to get a reputation for it at this point

Arbutus

(ar-BYOO-tus) Gus's youngest son, and the late husband/mate of Jellylorum. He died back when Admetus was a toddler and Etectera was a baby.

Big sweetheart

Studied first aid since kittenhood

Was tribe doctor along with Jelly until his death

Very dedicated

Died trying to save other wounded cats that he refused to leave

Cheerful and optimistic

Had no interest in acting

Which is good cuz he was a terrible liar

Gentle giant

Would give you a hug just because

Hero-worshiped both Spara and Brax as a young kitten

Eventually woke up to Brax's bullshit and cut him off, becoming even closer to Spara as a result

Utterly loved Gus. So much.

And Gus was so very proud of him, and fully supported his decision to break from the family "tradition" of performance arts and pursue medicine

"And this is my youngest boy, Arbie. He's a doctor! :D"

They were super close, y'all

Tall and thick-shouldered

Big burly boi

Soft, floofy fur

Mostly white with some red-orange patches

(He takes after his and Brax's mum)

Glossy dark brown eyes

Nickname: Arbie

Agatia

(a-GAY-shi-a) Gus's youngest daughter and Admetus's mother. Dropped 'Metus off with Spara when he was a toddler, hasn't been seen since.

Never could sit still

Kind of scatterbrained

Means well, just has other things on her mind

Probably still alive, wherever she is

Still a better mum than Griz

Will dance all night with you and leave suddenly without saying goodbye

Was never particularly close to any of her brothers

Missed Arbie and her sister's funeral because she was afraid Spara would make her take Admetus back got distracted

Sent flowers though

Also sent 'Metus birthday wishes the first few years, then they mostly stopped

He still occasionally gets a postcard or two from her

At this point he just kind of shrugs and puts them in his "Mum Box" (an old shoebox) and moves on. He's entirely happy with his little family of Uncle Spara, Aunt Jelly, Grampa Gus, and Cousin Cety and "doesn't need Mum"

Gus affectionately describes her as having "always been a wildcard"

Short and curvy

Soft short fur

Dark yellow-brown tabby with white chin, neck, chest, socks and one mitten, and a few grey/black blotches

Dark green eyes

Nickname: Aggy

Other daughters of Gus

I haven't quite developed any of the rest of the sisters because they don't really effect the narrative or characters much in the present timeline. They're all either off doing their own thing (at least one married into another tribe) or dead (at least one died in the same event that killed Arbutus).

Jellylorum's Younger Sister, Brother-In-Law, and Nephews

At this time I haven't decided on their names or fully nailed down their appearances yet, but they are Etcetera's parents and older brothers. They also died in the same event that killed Arbutus. Jelly was with them at the time and managed to save the baby, but couldn't save any of the others.

(No they weren't the cats Arbie was trying to save, Jelly had to learn of his death after getting back to her own home with the baby. Poor Jelly, so much of her family lost in one horrible day…)

What was the event that killed Arbie, at least one of his sisters, and Jelly's sister and her family? Well that's a long story that I plan on getting into in a future post. Until then I guess enjoy the mystery??

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Teen Titans Spotlight #1: Starfire

Comics in 1986: "Let's begin our new series with Starfire battling Apartheid!" Asshole Fans in 2019: "Comics should go back to the good old days when they weren't political!"

Really, M&M's? Everyone? Haven't you heard about Apartheid?!

So far the craziest thing about this comic book to modern audiences is how boring M&M colors were in 1986. I suspect I don't have the maturity to comment on a story about Apartheid. Oh well! Let's do this! The story is called "Black and White" because, you see, Apartheid was about how whites and blacks experienced two disparate South Africas. It's also a play on how "black and white" is a way to describe issues that have easily recognizable positive and negative sides. It's probably racist that we automatically assume the black side is the negative side. Maybe that also plays into the title! Chess pieces are black and white too so maybe the title alludes to chess. Maybe something about pawns versus the gentry. Marv might even work in some bits about The Beatles seeing as how they're using that zebra crossing on the cover of Abbey Road. Starfire has just returned from Tamaran where she married that dweeby Prince Karras guy. He was Tamaran's version of Terry Long. I'm surprised more panels didn't show Starfire and Donna in the background giggling and holding their index fingers and thumb a teeny, tiny distance apart. Starfire didn't spend eighth grade on Earth so she never learned Earth geography. So instead of flying in from space and looking at Earth and going, "Okay, that's New York right there!", she winds up in South Africa. I bet she came at Earth upside down and got confused. It's easy to get confused in space where up and down don't exist in any objective way. Starfire descends upon a group of black people chanting "Informer" at a woman they eventually soak in gasoline and light on fire. Holy fuck! This comic book just got more real than all 114 issues of New Titans I just recently reread! Except maybe that part where Raven raped Starfire during Starfire's wedding. That was pretty heavy. The white police arrive to commit some justice. Unless I meant "racism" instead of "justice." Sometimes, living in America, it's hard to see the difference.

I bet this guy has a MAGA Twitter account.

How many of your racist family members often bring up black on black crime when discussing gun control or cops shooting unarmed black men? How many of those idiots don't think they're being racist when they bring up that argument and just think they're being logical? It's fucking racism, dudes. Cops killing unarmed black men has nothing to do with black men being killed by criminals who happen to share their same skin color. Nobody ever talks about "white on white" crime. That's just crime perpetuated by criminals against innocent people! But somehow a black person shooting another black person belongs in some kind of special category? Of course a black person is probably going to be the victim of a black criminal because America had this thing called white flight. It caused places to become poor black neighborhoods because white people couldn't handle having even one black neighbor. So people and businesses moved out, local governments ignored infrastructure of those areas (or purposefully simply just built freeways straight through them), and constantly sent the police in to hassle innocent people just trying to live their fucking lives. Systemic racism (and racists!) segregated the races in a fairly efficient manner. So when a black criminal looks for a victim in their neighborhood, of course they're going to almost certainly find a black victim! That's simply crime, not black on black crime. Maybe I would think differently if anybody ever at any time in any of these debates brought up white on white crime. Y'all realize that's the most prevalent crime there is, right? Which means whites are the biggest criminals of all. If you're, you know, going to argue that way, you stupid racist asshole. Plus saying black on black crime is just a way for people to intimate that most crime is caused by black people. "Even though they keep criming us whites, they still have time to crime up their own people!" This comic book taught me that South African police would use purple dye in water cannons to stain people during protests so that they can be identified later as people who participated in the riot that totally didn't erupt later due to the police being overly aggressive and also racist. Wolfman says people "affectionately" called it Purple Rain which led me down a rabbit hole to figure out which came first, the racist ploy to arrest as many people as possible or the Prince album. Apparently the dyed water was named after the Prince album. That's probably why it was an "affectionate" sobriquet.

I'm a little bit worried that Wolfman is about to "both sides" Apartheid.

Starfire winds up with the South African police who tell her all about how terrible South African blacks are and how she's going to get a medal for helping quell the protest. They also call the woman who burned to death a bitch so I'm getting the feeling that they're not really interested in any kind of justice or peace. It's quite possible that — hear me out on this — they just want to oppress the black citizens and make sure they know their place. But I don't want to jump to conclusions! I should wait until I hear their arguments in a frank and logical debate. "Please, white South Africans, explain to me how South Africa needs your violent tactics and racist attitudes to maintain peace and order. Also explain how peace and order aren't different from justice for everybody. I might be convinced to stop calling you racist if you debate well!"

This guy doesn't realize how true it is that he's teaching these black South Africans how to behave.

It would have been easy to read this, at one time, from a privileged position as a citizen of America and think that the white South Africans in this story were caricatures of racist monsters, playing up their terrible qualities to get the reader to sympathize with the plight of the black South Africans. But these caricatures of despicable and horrible systemic racism using tactics to dehumanize a segment of the population are absolute mirrors of Trump and his deplorables. "They're animals." "They're not like us." "They do not think." "They are like children." "They fight amongst themselves." "We are just securing the peace." "This is God's country." "They need to be taught how to behave." "Their flagrant disregard for the law must be stopped." And all of these statements are simply excuses to treat certain people as less than human. "They get what they deserve." I'm so fucking disappointed in so many Americans right now. Starfire is completely confused by everything she's seeing. In her confusion, some journalists get her to sort of say she's for Apartheid. Uh oh! The Teen Titans are going to get worse press than when they destroyed New York City while arguing with their parents about their curfew.

Starfire's response is me on Twitter every fucking day.

The South African leader, Racist McRacisthole, tells Starfire not to worry about the journalists because they're always asking terrible questions and lying about how awful everything is. But Starfire is all, "Just because I have big hair and big tits and my ass is hanging out, don't think I'm a fucking idiot! Not that I'm trying to say people who look like that are idiots! But I know terrible people like you, Mr. Racisthole, think like that! So I just want you to know that I see you! I see what you're doing and how you're trying to snow me with all this fucking dehumanizing garbage! You remind me of the Gordanians!" Then Starfire gets so angry and delivers such a passionate speech that her nose falls off.

"I'b not gobing do libben do yub liebs aby lobber!"

Starfire declares she never cared for politics and tells Governor Racisthole that she's leaving. But instead of going, "Good! Stop interfering with our terrible government!", he says, "I won't let you leave which will probably cause you to stay and help the oppressed!" Starfire hears a prisoner screaming in pain before she leaves and decides to stick around to help him. While doing so, she realizes that maybe she show these government officials real power! No, I don't mean she's going to flash her tits. Jesus. Some of you comic book nerds just don't stop, do you?! Sure, DC panders to your boners by putting Starfire in her underwear. But you do have the choice to stop being such creepy little fucks, you know?

Imagine reading this and instead of thinking, "You tell 'em, Starfire! Way to go!", you think, "Virtue signaler."

Starfire has some more thoughts from 1986 for us here in 2019. She just won't stop!

Virtue signaler!

I swear the rest of this commentary can just be scans of Starfire saying important shit.

I mean, if this 1986 comic book is an example of older comics that Comicsgaters want to go back to, I'm fucking up for that shit.

In the next panel that I'm not going to scan because I'll never finish reading this comic book if I scan every fucking panel, Starfire says, "Unwittingly, my father helped ruin our world by caving in to our enemies rather than fighting for what was right. I won't do that here on Earth. I've got to care." I should probably send that panel to Nancy Pelosi. Starfire frees all of the political prisoners and escorts them back to where they're forced to live outside the city. She tries to figure out what Apartheid means and Father Nelson Mandutu, the rebel leader the police have been searching for, tells her, "Ah, I see — you are trying to make sense of madness." It's as good a reason to dismiss people always pressing you to debate their terrible ideas and worthless topics. How can you win a debate against twisted logic and racist madness? Just ignore them when they call you a coward or an elitist when you refuse to debate. I was always taught that the best way to get shit off of your shoe is to scrape it off, not to get in an argument with it. Starfire follows Mandutu around for the day except for the one moment when he's kidnapped. When she goes to rescue him, she destroys an armory and discovers that Father Mandutu has been killed. BY HER! And there are cameras rolling! Totally not suspicious or anything! I bet we discover she was framed next issue! That's the kind of intelligent speculation you get from a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader like me. I can't be fooled even by the most subtle of plot twists! Teen Titans Spotlight #1: Starfire Rating: A. I should probably apologize to Marv Wolfman for all the insults I've made about his Teen Titans books. This was a well-written infotainment issue putting precisely the right character at the heart of an international travesty. And I thought a story about Apartheid was going to be boring! It's almost as if I forgot that every panel would have tons of side boob! Oh no! I just realized I'm one of those creepy little fucks!

For now. For always. For @PussehCath

It began like some of the greatest ideas of our time; with a lot of drinks.

Date night had become a luxury. Wes was a little older. The twins nearing the terrible twos. Doc and Ryan were often at the hospital, Jack was still selling houses, though they all had reduced the hours they worked. Anna was absolutely still ecstatic about being a mom and had even brought up maybe using the other two eggs that were still on ice one of these days.

Ryan thought she was crazy.

The four had left the kids in the care of Dave and Alyx for the evening, and had dressed in their best to go out for a fancy dinner, some music, up north as was their custom now. Ryan had hopes of luring everyone to the dance floor, but doubted the guys would go for it. AB might, once enough wine was had, anyway. Ryan could convince her of most anything once the wine started to flow. Which is one of her favorite things about AB. The woman had started out hating her and now they were best friends and more than that, they loved each other. The last couple years had brought the four of them closer than they had ever thought possible.

Dessert and drinks, and more drinks on the way, Ryan ordered dessert for the table; brownie sundaes, the ever popular treat they always shared. It was kind of an anniversary, really. They had closed on the house two years ago. Celebration and date night, rolled into one perfect package.

“Wait! The cherry's mine!” AB plucked the too-sweet fruit from Doc's fingers the second before he closed his lips around it, earning a playful growl from him as she popped it into her own mouth.

“Need to be quicker than that to keep the cherry from her. It's her favorite part,” Jack rumbled with laughter, his arm winding around Annabeth and pulling her closer. His lips brushed her temple as she happily chewed the cherry and he slipped the second cherry from the top of the sundae to Doc, all while distracting their girl from her other prize.

“You two are sneaky,” Ryan whispered, her lips brushing down Philip's neck. “Sooo sneaky.” And yes, Ryan loved it when they would play with each other the way they were tonight.

Philip downed the cherry with a grin and kissed Ryan. “See, but I ordered a whole bowl of them and whipped cream when they brought the sundaes. So she'll have all the cherries she wants. You too...”

AB perked up. “Cherries and whipped cream for meeeeee?” she asked, laughing and shaking her head. “It's like you know me or something...”

The two women glanced to each other, smiling. Yes, the men did know them pretty well. “Just a bit,” Ryan teased. “Only enough to know that cherries are your weakness.” The bowl of cream and the cherries arrived then, lighting up AB's face as she and Ryan both reached for one, Doc's fingers plucking a stem as well. Jack was focused on the brownie and ice cream, a beautiful concoction topped with hot fudge and cream, set before him.

The next round of drinks came and Ryan tugged  Doc out onto the floor, sticking to him like glue for the slow song. Jack noticed AB fidgeting under the table and raised a brow, but left it alone. She still got a little antsy when the four of them went out anywhere. She thought people were looking at them, staring, when they would all be so affectionate with each other. But she smiled at him, the kind that made him melt just a little, and always had.

AB finished her drink, the wine completely to her head, and kept busy with her project beneath the table. Jack always stopped her heart when he smiled at her, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the lines around his eyes. He was better with age. Doc too. Hell, Ryan as well. She loved them all. Jack poured more wine and AB laughed. “Trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?”

“Absolutely,” he said, winking and laughing. Anna sipped this glass a little more slowly this time, and lit up when Ryan and Doc came back.

“Jack wants to take advantage of me in my wine drunk state. Wanna join him?”

Laughing, Ryan dropped into the seat next to her and kissed her. Thoroughly. AB wasn't even surprised anymore when it happened, just giving in and enjoying it. Returning her kiss. “You bet we do. No one turns down a tipsy AB.”

“Not us, anyway.” Doc laughed too and nudged Jack. “Wouldn't turn you down, tipsy or not, either.”

Jack turned a shade or two of pink and shook his head. “Don't start with that,” he mumbled at him, chuckling into his drink.

AB ate another cherry, her hands going back to her lap. Ryan checked her out and slowly grinned at her when she saw what was in her fingers. Anna winked at her and reached over to squeeze her hand.

The men drank, laughing next to each other, and Anna kept working on her wine and project. “Hey...” Every head swiveled her way. “Hey,” she repeated, finishing her drink. “I have a great idea.” She nodded to herself and slid her closed fist to the table.

“What's the idea, Anna?” Doc leaned over, trying to see her hand and what she had in it. “What've you got in there?”

Her hand opened and on her palm rested three braided rings, made of cherry stems. “I think we should get married.” Everyone was quiet for a beat. “So... will y'all marry me?” Annabeth asked, her voice small but hopeful. They'd joked about it before, of course, but you couldn't marry more than one person. Not legally. But she didn't need anything legal. She just wanted them to be hers. She waited, breath held, eyes moving from Jack to Doc to Ryan, hopeful.

“Shit. Yes. Any day of the week.” Doc broke the silence first, making AB loose the breath she held and laugh. Thank god, she thought. One down, two to go. She looked expectantly to the others.

Jack looked a little shook, like he had been smacked in the head with the question. Ryan was grinning ear to ear.

“Hell yes. I've always wondered what it'd be like to be married to three people...Married to my best friend. All my best friends... ” Ryan said, laughing and snatching a cherry stem ring from Annabeth's hand and sliding it onto her finger. “It'll be great.” She elbowed Jack then. “Tell her yes so she doesn't cry. No one likes a sad bunny and you know you want it...”

Annabeth was on the verge of tears. Happy and sad. She was glad that two of three had said yes, but she turned her gaze once more to Jack. Jack who had been through so much with her over the last few years, who had been the one who had brought her back to life after her horrible first marriage. He'd given her hope, even when he was married and it was hard, he had give her hope and made her realize love was not finite and you could love so many people at once. It had been a tough lesson, but they were better for learning it. Her breath held again and she tried to still the quiver in her lips until she saw the decision in his startlingly blue eyes. He had been shocked by her asking, of course, and while tipsy at that.

But he'd say yes.

A slow nod and a smile spread across his face, slowly, while AB closed the distance between them to kiss him soundly and push a little stem ring onto his finger.

“I haven't said yes yet,” he reminded her, lips barely leaving hers.

“Then say it,” Annabeth requested, sitting back to stare into his eyes with a grin.

“Yes.” Jack kissed her softly once more. “I should have asked you a long time ago,” he murmured, low enough only she could hear that part at least. It warmed her, more than wine ever could.

Annabeth grinned at them all, cheeks flushed with happy color.

Ryan ate a couple cherries and looked to the guys. “Which of you is the better braider...?” she asked. “AB needs a ring too.” Complete the deal, get everyone a ring.

Jack opened and closed his mouth. Then waved for the waiter. “We need champagne. Lots of champagne. And maybe more cherries...” he muttered after. “I can't braid for shit. Have you seen Ellie's hair when I'm done with it?”

“Luckily, I had to learn during ren faire...” Philip admitted, busily gathering stems from Ryan as quickly as she ate them. Fingers twisting, soon he had a braided knot of stems and tugged Anna's hand over the table. “You marry us, Anna?” No one could resist the puppy eyes, no one.

Anna laughed and threw her arms around first Philip, then drug Jack and Ryan into it, lips falling onto cheeks and lips and everywhere in between in her joy that they had all agreed to it. It wasn't normal, it wasn't going to ever fit into a box, but it made her happy. She'd never thought she would have the love of two perfect men, men that had started out hating each other. Nor had she ever thought she would have a female lover, but Ryan had become her friend and then much more. Love was abundant in their home. “Luckiest woman in the world, you know that? I love you guys. I love you all so much. I'd marry you guys a million times.”

Champagne arrived then, along with chatter about the benefits of just a small ceremony to show their love versus getting actually legally married and who would marry whom to make it all nice and tidy for the kids if anything ever happened. It was too serious of a conversation to have over champagne, but soon they had dissolved into laughter when talking about Jack and Doc being the ones who got legally married and Anna marrying Ryan.

“I'd look hot in a tux,” Ryan admitted, smirking in Doc's direction. “Don't you think? And Jack could pull of a kilt...”

“I'd like to pull a kilt off Jack,” the extra giggly and inebriated Anna said, making Jack bark out of laugh before his cheeks turned a slightly darker shade of red.

“And I would let you pull a kilt off me. Any damned time,” Jack said, hand sliding to Annabeth's knee to rub it.

Her cheeks, already rosy, warmed more under his touch.

Ryan glanced to Doc. “You can't wear a kilt. You might accidentally blind everyone with that pasty ass,” she teased, laughing. He pinched her ass and yanked her closer to kiss along her jaw.

“You love this pasty ass, don't deny it...”

“I do, but blinding, love. Blinding.” Ryan finished off her champagne and reached for more, but the bottle was empty. Her eyes lit up. “Let's just go get married now. Fuck it all. We have each other. We have rings. Can do legal shit later if we want. Hell, we can do a symbolic thing with all our family later too, I just want you all. All of you and right now.”

“...Right now? Where? Here?” Anna asked, brows raised as she finished off her drink.

“Nah... Can do it in our own yard. Our bedroom. Anywhere. It's just for us anyway...”

“She's right.” Doc nodded and smiled at Anna. “We can do it wherever we want. How about we head home and do it... Just tell each other how we feel and call it a commitment...”

Nodding, Anna fiddled with the new cherry ring on her finger. “Let's go.”

Jack waved for the check. Doc and him bickered over who was going to pay. And Ryan paid while they did. Leaving Anna to lay down a tip for the waiter and bartender that had taken care of them. By the time the guys had decided who would pay (Doc), the ladies had their wraps on and were getting ready to leave, making the guys grumble about them not paying the tab.

Jack and Doc followed Anna and Ryan to the darkest corner of the parking lot and took themselves home.

Ryan drug Annabeth upstairs, calling back, “We're getting pretty. Straighten yourselves up too!”

They were pretty pretty already, dammit. Just needed a little polishing after so many drinks. Which the two did. Fairly quickly, with many giggles, and only a few stumbles.

When they returned downstairs, the guys were both a little more polished than they had been when they were left as well. AB and Ryan grinned and each came to kiss both of them on the cheeks.  “Y'all look amazing,” AB murmured, running her fingers through Jack's hair.

“How we doing this?” Ryan asked, head on Philip's shoulder and leading him into the kitchen to get more champagne and glasses for them. “Just say some vows to each other?” Her voice faded in and out as she moved from living room to kitchen and back again. “Because you guys know I'm not fucking mushy.”

“You're mushier than you think you are, Ryan. Trust me,” Jack said, pulling her away from Doc for a hug. “Your version is just a little on the raunchy side,” he said laughing. “But sure, just speak from the heart, I guess...” He looked a little daunted by the prospect, honestly, but Annabeth had faith in him. Doc looked a bit dubious as well.

“...I'll try and not embarrass myself,” he muttered. They were more than a little drunk, but it was fine. They love each other.

Ryan shrugged and poured champagne then handed it out.

“I'll go first.” She drank half her glass in a oner and looked around the room, getting her phone set up to record their little ceremony. “There. We'll preserve this for future generations.” Live video broadcasting straight to Facebook.

“Are we having future generations, Ryan?” Doc asked, brows raised.

“Twins. Wes. Embryos. Maybe you'll knock me up when I'm about to be too old for it. Who knows. But don't distract me, I'm about to be romantic as fuck.”

“Well shit, go for it then. We never get romance from you. Just dirty jokes and nudes. I'm excited,” Doc said, smirking in her direction. Ryan affectionatly flipped him off. He waggled his brows. “Later, woman. It's our wedding night, after all.”

Laughing, she spun to face the three of them. Drunk, Ryan rested her hand on the sofa arm to steady herself. “I never, ever thought that I'd get this. A happily ever after. I fell in love with a man in love with someone else, I fell in love with him hard.” Her eyes cut to Philip and she smiled at him. “I love you more and more every day I get to spend with you, and somehow, you made me realize that love is not finite. It just multiplies. I am so, so happy that when I found you, that you were on your way to the most unconventional life I'd ever seen, and that you wanted me to be part of it. I'm ecstatic you loved me enough to fight to keep me. That you have always included me. I was the outsider. You brought me inside. Like a raggedy stray cat.” Turning her eyes to Jack and AB, Ryan winked. “And you guys. I love you both too, you made loving you so easy. You made me so happy, taking in this raggedy stray cat. I get to spend every day of my life with friends who look so great naked. Laughing, crying, loving. Nothing makes me happier than the three of you. Nothing. And I'm so happy,” Ryan paused, her voice getting thick and tears gathering in her eyes. “Ah, fuck. Crying. I love you all. I can't wait to find more adventures with you. Even if those adventures are just more of Doc's pasty white ass blinding us....”

Doc had to close the distance then, kiss Ryan's cheeks. Wipe her tears. “Love you, too,” he murmured and put his arm around her for a long moment. “I'll go next...”

He turned, letting Ryan go, and faced the three people he was in love with, more steady than the nurse but still swaying slightly. “It's been a long road, getting here. I never realized that a cruise would be where I'd find the love of my life. Or that meeting her boyfriend would introduce me to the other love of my life. Or that hospital coffee and how bad it was would lead me to the final love of my life.” Philip gazed at each as he spoke, smiling that slightly crooked smile, hair falling across his forehead. It needed another trim. “Having a family, building that with the three of you, that's made me happier than I thought I could be. Coming home to you all, that's what I want. What I need. Forever. I just want to hold your hands. I want to kiss your faces. I want you, all of you, and I'm the luckiest son of a bitch to ever live because I get to do all that, I do that and more.” Sucking in a  breath, he looked to Anna. “I never loved anyone the way I do you. Our times apart have been painful, some of the most painful times of my life. I never want to see you walk away. I love you, Anna. I always will.” His eyes moved to Jack. “You have always been a challenge, but thankfully, you've also become a friend. You made me see why love expands, divides. Thank you, for giving me a chance, for giving us a chance, and for being one of my best friends.” Jack cracked a smile and Doc damn near melted at the perfection of it. “And you,” he said, looking to Ryan. “You've always pushed me. Made me better when you work with me, like you're my other half. I should have known you were my soulmate, I should have, because no one has every anticipated what I want or need like you have. And you are my best friend. I love you more than I can tell you. I'm sorry you broke your leg, I am, but I will never be sorry that it brought you to all three of us and you became part of the family the rest of us were making. I love you. I love you all and I really want you to know that I think you all are really pretty.”

Anna squeezed his hand and sighed, shaking her head at him. “Not as pretty as you.”

All eyes were on her and she laughed nervously, drinking another sip from her champagne. “My turn? My turn,” she mumbled, answering herself. “Ah... Jack,” she said, looking up and meeting his eyes. Nerves floated away then and sobriety kicked in, sort of. “I have loved you for years. I had always been a traditional kind of woman, I wanted to be a housewife. Lots of kids. I wanted to be married to one person forever. Thank god I got over that and found you. You saved me when I felt so low. Gave me a purpose, even if it was just fetching coffee at first. I learned who I was beyond the identity I had created for myself because you let me open my wings. You showed me how to fly. You charmed me from the first time you laid those baby blues on me. I am blessed to have found you, to be loved by you. I don't care that every step of our way to each other was hard, that one step forward was two back sometimes. I don't care about how broken things were in the past. I just love you. I want to love you when I'm old, grey, and I want to hold your hand when my time comes to leave this world.” She sniffled, rubbing tears from her cheeks. One glance to Ryan showed her that she'd moved the other woman too. “Doc...” she murmured, glancing his way this time. “Who would have thought that a rebuffed drunken kiss would lead us here? I found out that love is easiest when you're loving someone who is absolutely the better half of you. You made me laugh when my heart was heavy. You brought a smile to my face. You brought me to life.” A hiccup made this a bit of a comedy, but she went on. “You are my Doc. For better or worse, through it all. I love you. I'm so glad that you and I found each other among all those people on that boat. Glad you took me to the top of that building and held me tight when I felt like I might fall. Glad you wanted to make a life with me when I couldn't make a choice. Happy that you loved me enough to stay.”

Ryan clapped and hooted. “Jack's turn!”

“Nope. My turn to tell you I love you,” Annabeth quietly reminded her, turning so she faced Ryan. Ryan's cheeks were a flattering pink. “I am not straight. There. You heard it here. I'm not. And that is all on you. You were an enemy. I hated you. And now, I cannot imagine life without you, because you are my best friend. You make me laugh my tail end off. I love you and thank god daily for my good fortune. I'm glad I'm yours, I hope you're glad to be mine...” Ryan simply nodded then, overcome, and a little smug as she wrapped arms around Annabeth.

Jack looked on, clearing his throat when it was his turn. Every eye was on him. Not that he wasn't used to that. They liked to look at him. He'd gotten to the point it barely registered anymore. Until they were really focused on him, like now. Dammit. His throat had gone dry and Jack sucked down a bit of champagne, clearing his throat again.

“Ah. Well... Doc, Philip...” He turned to the other man and just shrugged. “I love you. Somehow, after a few hundred morning coffee kisses, I stopped fighting it and just fell. You're my best friend, it's just the way things are. I can tell you anything. Mostly.” Not everything needed to be shared. “So, yeah, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. With you and our girls.” He turned to Ryan and winked, smiling widely at her. “You get me. Make me laugh. Make me cringe. I love it. You're so easy to talk to, and I like that you keep us all on our toes and keep that group chat lively. I love you, and I'm pleased that you are part of our lives. You make it richer.”

Turning to AB, Jack took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. “You know that I'd marry you every day for the rest of my life. I should have asked you a long time ago. When it was just us. When we added these two to our lives. When our kids were born. I should have asked you to be my wife, but I was scared and didn't know how we'd do this, make it work. What I forgot was, you and I make everything work. We never had a straight path to each other. Nothing was ever easy between us. Somehow, we made it work anyway. There were bumps and ruts on the road, but getting to you, to this version of us, it was all worth it. And I know that forever and always, AB, that we're going to keep making things work. We will always make our lives mesh together, because you and I and Ryan and Philip, we are meant to be. And I love you more than I can ever tell you. Now. Forever.”

Each word teared AB up more and more until her hands trembled in Jack's and her cheeks were wet with tear tracks. Behind her, Ryan and Doc held each other, one of them sniffling softly at the beauty of it all. Or maybe they were allergic to something. Jack kissed Annabeth. Slow. Deep. Pouring his feelings into it. Then, Doc and Ryan came, wrapping their arms around Jack and AB, holding them. Each turned to kiss the other, until no one was left unkissed.

Ryan hooted, pouring more champagne before dropping her top, forgetting the still going video streaming to Facebook. “Get naked, pretty people. It's our wedding night!” she hooted, lifting her glass and drinking. “To us!” The others laughed, laughed until it hurt, and drank more, until they took themselves to their bedroom, the phone recording an empty room. The newlyweds would wake with heavy heads and light hearts in the morning, needing every remedy for a hangover they could get, but they would be happy. For now. For always.

Distract post. Answer what you would want a crush to answer 👌🏻🔥

ohhhh okey this should b…… Interesting lemme see?? most of the ones i’d want a crush to answer would be things that tell me if they might potentially like me back so hmmm (also i wrote this at like 2am last night but am just posting it now so)

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? i haven’t had anyone in my life yet l m a o rip

5. are you afraid of falling in love?hm. i’m not afraid of falling in love with the right person? but in terms of like. catching feelings for people yeah i think i am afraid of that because idk every time that happens i end up getting emotionally wrecked and at this point i’m just tired of being let down over and over. i don’t have a good track record of people liking me back

7. have you ever slept on a couch with somebody else?platonically ya everyone in my family likes to nap and my mom and my brother and sister and dog and i always fall asleep on the couch together on weekends bc we have a big couch :’)

9. name the last four beds you sat onuhhhh my bed in my apartment, my bed at home……probably either my moms bed or one of my siblings beds??? i don’t leave my house ever lmao

15. would you rather visit a zoo or art museum?zoo!!! i love animals so much……. but art museums are so nice too there’s one like ten minutes away from me that’s free for students and it’s lovely

21. if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?probably not because idk,,, i feel like i’m too young to get married and also there wouldn’t be any point since you can be happy with a person without having to marry them. i’d tell them that i’d like to marry them one day tho

25. what’s on your mind?the things i didn’t do this weekend, the things i have to do this week, also im feelin kinda Angsty about a tiny crush that i have that i’m trying to get over because it won’t work out

33. do you think anyone has feelings for you?lmao no. a week and a half ago i was talking to one of my coworkers and we both found out the other was into girls and she’s been messaging me a lot since but like. She’s In A Relationship and even tho she’s got a lotta side hoes and she’s fine with it i don’t wanna be that person so i haven’t been messaging back really so. if she did have feelings for me which she probably didn’t they’re gone by now. otherwise yeah the answer is definitely no

34. has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?actually the coworker i just mentioned did while we were talking. which was nice

36. were you single on valentine’s day?Bitch I’ve Been Single For The Past Twenty And A Half Years

39. has anyone upset you in the last week?yeah, but it’s mainly myself who i’m upset at bc i know it’s 100% not their fault and i a) was an idiot to let them upset me and b) i am being a dick anyway and should not be doing that

57. do you think two people can last forever?my grandparents met in elementary school and had their first date when she was 13 and he was 16 (she threw up right after bc she was Norvous so they didn’t actually start really dating until she was like 16) but anyway they’ve been married for 56? years now. so yeah i think it’s possible. i don’t think it’s………necessarily good to last forever though? it would be nice if it happened naturally. but sometimes people grow up and grow apart and that’s okay and staying together shouldn’t be forced. making an effort to understand and work with a partner is important but also letting yourself grow as a person without constraint is important as well.

65. this time last year can you remember who you liked?ah man i was such a fucking idiot i had just liked this ultra premed gym-obsessed guy in my bio club mainly because he liked me but then i realized i couldn’t stand him so i shut that down. and i think almost a year ago next week i started talking to this OTHER guy in my bio club about GORILLAZ of all fucking things and. long story short i was Emotionally Destroyed by that one after like four months and in conclusion i am a Fool and liking people is Terrible especially people in my bio club

67. did you kiss or hug anyone today?i don’t think so? maybe i hugged my roommate but i can’t remember

76. have you held hands with anyone in the past three days? nop i am starved for physical affection

78. do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?oh man DO I it was my first crush ever and i thought i was dying??? his name was kevin o and he had been in my class for three years before and i was physically incapable of talking around him or even looking at him except from the corner of my eye tbh??? i liked him for a year and told nobody i’m cryin baby me why were u like this sweetie oh god

80. have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms?uh in a family members arms ya bc my family is very physically affectionate and also we like naps. anyone else no but my dog falls asleep in my arms a lot i miss hims

81. how many people have you liked in the past three months?fuck me i hadn’t liked anyone since like february and i was so relieved about it and then i had to go and get a crush like two weeks ago ahdhsjkcishdk it’s not gonna work and i know this tho so i’ve been shutting it down so i’m not Traumatized again rip. i’ve met a lot of cute girls tho lately but i haven’t like had full strength crushes on any of em so

83. will you talk to the person you like tonight? uh it’s 2:28 am so? if it’s like last night tonight i didn’t really but if it’s like tonight tonight im specifically not going to either bc removing interaction is the best way to get over a crush i’ve found

85. if your so was into drugs would you care?as long as it wasn’t like hard drugs nah idc if u smoke weed or vape or whatever. cigarettes are……kinda gross tho but i’d live

88. if somebody gave you $1000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?i couldn’t. just thinking about it makes me feel a little sick tbh that’s so horrible and mean and the poor butterfly??? my mom sent me a video of a caterpillar trapped in a spiders web and the spider was trying to get it and i couldn’t bear to watch it even tho she saved it in the end the caterpillar was so upset and desperate oh god

94. does sex mean love?of course not. it’s 2017 y'all know tinder exists sex means nothing except that u wanna smash

99: do you believe in love at first sight?no. you fall in love with a person once you get to know them for them, including all their flaws and quirks and bad parts and good parts. stuff like that takes time and work and you can’t just learn these things right off the bat. love is a continual process.

// i didn’t answer any of the kissing ones or like. ones about exes even tho those were mainly the ones i’d ask a crush because i haven’t kissed anyone or had an ex yet lmao anyway this was Long and i Overshared

This episode was SO jokes {TVD 8x15 Review}

Hi all! You know the deal. I write my thoughts in real time so anything I saw at the beginning that might be a mistake may be corrected by the end. This review will have anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments and will most likely have references to other shows and to the misogynoir, anti-blackness and racism in the narrative. If you do not like it, you do not have to read this. Are you ready? OK! Let's go. 1. So I'm stopping a very promising Kdrama to watch this. The Kdrama is called Mirror of the Witch, I'm on the first episode and already there are more consequences in this drama than all eight seasons of TVD. So far it looks exceptionally dark and mean-spirited, I think it might actually disturb me. Anyway. It's still entirely ridiculous that Cade's last words are “Go to hell.” Like why? Also why would Stefan say, “You first”? Wasn't Cade already in hell? Like didn't he sort of create it? And now he's just ... dead? What was that dialogue? 2. I like how opening the door to Cade's world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that's such a small scale, shouldn't it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I'm confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see. 3. Also I should mention I have a cold and I took cough syrup and it SAYS non-drowsy but last night I was knocked the fuck out so if I get a little loopy near the end, it could be that. Or it could be that watching TVD has finally addled my brain. Who knows. 4. They really do hype Katherine way too much. 5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be. 6. But now she's on my keyboard. It's like she's trying to spare me. 7. The lighting in this episode seems to be darker than normal, I can barely see anything. 8. I think it's funny that Caroline keeps waking up expecting to see Stefan and he's not there. 9. Matt's hair is SO stupid though. LIKE WHY. 10. I have it paused because the video is loading still but like seriously, he looks thoroughly unattractive like this and out of character I think Zach is pretty cute, so like ugh, why am I subjected to this. 11. Why do we care about Matt's dad again? 12. Or his mother for that matter. 13. Like remember when she came to town and then made out with Damon and then they discovered Vicki was dead and she made out with Tyler? Or was Tyler first and then Damon? Either way, she's messy af. The only interesting dynamic was her and Caroline and Elena. She's pointless. 14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn't Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn't Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever. 15. Real talk, I already feel kinda woozy but it's fine it's like being buzzed and it's probably the only way I will get through this episode. 16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn't getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone's best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck. 17. That red looks nice on Kat. 18. I like how Katherine is in this world, everything is supposed to be going to shit and Matt isn't like “Mom, Dad, I hate you but you need to leave town because you could possibly die” he's just like yeah fam, I'm rescheduling our awkward dinner date. Like lol. It would be more interesting if he didn't give a shit if they died but this is just the writers being the writers. In Buffy, when the Mayor is supposed to devour all of Sunnydale, Buffy forces her mother to leave town and tells her if she doesn't her presence will get her [Buffy] killed. 19. I love Stefan's face when Damon says “she's obsessed with Stefan” like BITCH WHO TOLD YOU TO TALK? 20. Why does it have to be a wedding though? It could just as easily be an engagement party or a rehearsal dinner, like sooooooooooo forced. 21. I mean, I don't blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she's cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I'm just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don't know the web they've created with these characters and understand that they've turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 22. And as a non-Beremy shipper, I still think Bonnie loved Jeremy more than Enzo and Beremy was a problematic af ship but at least some things were halfway earned, Bonenzo is pure dialogue, fam. 23. Oh and looks. 24. I don't even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn't new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan's first rodeo? 25. My video keeps fucking buffering. I might switch sites because I love myself too much to drag this out longer than I have to. Because I am only eight minutes in, that's not gonna fly. 26. OK so everything is just buffering. I was supposed to have my data back, what is this. 27. Right now I have it paused on Damon. I really don't get what anons mean when they tell me his arms are huge. Like I don't see it. 28. WHO CARES ABOUT MATT'S MOM? What's her name again? Kelly? 29. Is she dying? 30. She's dying. 31. Oh she's dead. Ish. 32. “Oh please don't be mad at me, Caroline” that actually sounded like Stefan was talking to his mother. 33. Yeah this BE scene is giving me nothing. 34. Liz did a TERRIBLE job protecting MF, who are we kidding? And toasting with your rape victim about how her mother became your best friend and now her daughter will be your family is disgusting. 35. Lol yes use the SE necklace that Damon kept taking to give it to Caroline on her wedding day for Stefan because we're ignoring how important that necklace was to SE, sure. 36. Seriously, Caroline looks at Alaric with more love than she does Stefan. Like just marry him, y'all are more compatible and have more chemistry than you and Stefan anyway. Like omg. 37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan. 38. “I want to be a part of your happiness” I mean I guess. I don't like Bonnie being arbitrary in her blame for Stefan but like can the girl be selfish and feel what she feels when she feels it for once? And indulge? Like?? 39. I also find it interesting that Stefan and Caroline don't have a private moment before the wedding, like I know this isn't how we wanted to do this blah blah blah. They're so segregated even when they're together. 40. Do the writers not know of any alcohol other than bourbon? 41. The slow mo doesn't change the deadened expression on Paul's face, guys. Sorry. 42. Also Alaric's speech is stupid, who becomes “family” with the people who have continuously terrorized your life and are responsible for the people you've lost? Like that's when you see a psychiatrist because you have serious emotional issues. 43. “You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness.” WHEN WAS THIS? NO LEGIT WHEN? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. Madly in love, you don't even look madly in love, you look SO chill. OMG. 44. LOL bout you've been ready since you saw him at school. You were on his jock for one episode, then you onto Damon and were unfortunate enough to be his victim, then it was Matt, then it was Tyler, then it was Klaus, then it was Tyler then it was Jesse then it was Klaus then it was Stefan. Girl bye. 45. That SC dance looks SO AWKWARD. LOL SLOW MO DOESN'T MAKE SHIT BETTER UNLESS IT'S ALREADY GOOD 46. Of course Matt's dad isn't dead. I mean he got stabbed when it was light out and now it's dark but he's still gurgling. Jesus. We met him THIS season, Julie, you can kill the irrelevant fucker off. 47. I don't know why Caroline is STILL wearing the necklace. 48. HER NAME IS KELLY. I WAS RIGHT. 49. Why isn't Caroline vamp speeding into the house? 50. Really? That's your reaction to your kids potentially dying? 51. So like the smoke is having no effect on Bonnie? 52. And them siphoning her doesn't hurt? 53. Caroline is legit calm when she thought her kids were dead for a minute. 54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN'T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it's against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. 55. STEFAN WHY DON'T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE'S PULSE? Final thoughts: This episode didn't enrage me like I thought it would, it's just thoroughly ridiculous because it attempts to haphazardly rewrite history and Paul was such a lacklustre groom, like faaaam, those vows were horrible. And Caroline and Stefan are just so isolated from each other, like they don't feel like a couple or a pair, they don't feel like one, it's so very cold. Kelly coming back with her daughter to destroy MF is like, I mean I guess, Katherine's plan isn't even original, Stefan was going to burn MF to the ground first anyway, like we're seriously recycling plots in the same season too? This was actually laughably bad.