From this very real tweet, ty @narutwitter

Hopkei i have a very serious question... I am asking you straight from my heart and i hope you would answer the same the same way too....

Do you think the 10Kei Channel logo is cute? Pls look me in the eyes and tell me what you think of this

i think it's— i mean it's so— it's very— i think—

i love kei-chan very much :)

i think almost every other design he drew was cuter and idk why they went with the creepy wrestler clown mask😢

he worked really hard and was very very cute presenting all his designs but i think the logo is not cute enough for him🙁

personally if i were able to redesign it i would go with something like the frog emoji for cute froggy keichan that could even keep basically the same design like this:

(disclaimer drawn in 5 seconds lol)

but you didn't hear any of this from me— LOOK ITS THE PHOTOS OF KEITO FROM THE NEW SPARKLE MAGAZINE!!!! WHAT AN ANGEL LOOK AT THOSE!!!!!

what a beautiful perfect boy with a very cute youtube channel that is perfect and cute in every way!!!!!!

Baby, It’s You

18+

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Black Reader

Summary: @princessmisery666​ sent in this prompt

*electric slides back into your asks* Sam spends a full week playing old r’n’b songs about getting married/being in love. But his gf doesn’t get the hint, she’s just like “damn this is my jam, dance with me babe.” How she figures it out or Sam just asks is dealers choice 🤷🏼‍♀️ songs for inspo. Jagged Edge - Lets Get Married. Next - Wifey. New Edition - Something About You. 112 - Only You.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, more fluff, sex in the kitchen, fingering, bad singing and more fluff, dirty talk, and ummm... idk what else lol 💖

Word Count: 1,800ish

A/N: This was fun to write lol i feel like i haven’t written a full Sam fic in a while and I’m glad that I got the chance to lol I hope yall like it!

Songs used

Happily Ever After by Case

You by Jesse Powell

Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge

You heard the music as soon as you pulled into the driveway. This was the third day in a row that Sam beat you home, and each day music flowed from the house while he waited for you to come home. 

When you entered, Sam was in the kitchen already starting preparing dinner. You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You felt him relax into your embrace before he turned his head and greeted you with a kiss. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Sam said after he had pulled away causing you to pout at the loss of his lips.

“I missed you today,” you responded as you relaxed against his back. You felt his muscles move as he continued preparing dinner.

He hummed in agreement. “Why don’t you go get changed then come help me?” you loved cooking with Sam, so you scampered away to your shared bedroom to change.

When you returned, Sam had already set aside some vegetables for you to chop and a glass of wine. While you chopped, you and Sam sang along to the music that was playing.

You don't have to look no further than me (don't look no further, baby yeah)

You don't need much more than my lovin' to make you happy (I'm so happy, babe)

Beneath the side of God, I will make this vow to you (come on baby)

I'll be right here, stay with me (stay with me, baby hey)

“I remember when I realized that was Beyonce in that video,” you laughed when the song ended. “I watched that video on repeat asking myself how I didn’t see it.”

Sam just chuckled, but he didn’t respond as the next song started.

“This is my JAM, Sam!” you said before you cleared your throat getting ready to attempt some high notes that you knew you weren’t going to hit. “I love this song so much.”

I've finally found the nerve to say

I'm gonna make a change in my life

Starting here today

Sam started singing before you could start and you laughed. You both knew that Sam was the better singer between the two of you and that he would be the one to make money from singing if he ever quit his day job.

But when the chorus began, there was no way to keep you from holding out that note.

“And baby, it’s you!” your voice wavered as you held out the tune. Your eyes tearing up as you strained to hold the note.

Sam filled in the background lyrics as you continued to attempt the high notes in the chorus, but he took over for the chorus.

Next year lets call this day our anniversary

The day I put my heart in your hand

And said that it was yours to keep

From this moment on say that you'll always be mine

Cause girl when I'm alone with you

There's only one thing that's on my mind

“I gotta try those high notes again,” you laughed skipping the first one when the chorus repeated. You took in a deep breath and prepared to belt out the note.

“FROM THIS DAY FORTH!!!!!!” you closed your eyes as you sang, internally wishing that you had taken a deeper breath before you started. You stretched out your hand imitating Jesse Powell in the video as you sang.

When you reached the end of the note, you took in another deep breath and opened your eyes to find Sam smiling at you. Instead of letting you continue singing, Sam turned the music down and reached for your left hand.

“Sam, wha-” you began but stopped talking when he shook his head.

“I don’t know how to say this, y/n,” he began, and you could tell that he was nervous.

“I know that I can’t sing, Sam,” you laughed, “we’ve been through this before.”

“That’s not- I mean, it’s true, but that’s not what I wanted to say,” he laughed. “I’ve practiced this at least a dozen times already and after each time I feel like I know what I’m going to say but I can’t seem to remember what I had planned out because every time I look at you my mind goes blank and I can’t seem to remember anything other than how much I love you and how much you’ve made my life better and-”

“Sam!” you interrupted. “You’re not making any sense.” You were laughing at the way he was acting because you had never seen him so nervous before.

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face and was silent for a moment. While you waited for him to continue, the music changed and after the first few beats of the song played, everything clicked.

See first of all

I know these so-called playas wouldn't tell you this

But I'ma be real and say what's on my heart

You raised your right hand and placed it on your chest, “Sam,” you whispered. You tried to pull your hand away from him, but he held on tight.

“Just, hear me out.” He let out a deep breath and locked eyes with you. “Y/n, we’ve been together for a while, hell, practically our entire lives. We’ve grown together, and I don’t see me loving anyone else but you. You’ve made me a better man than I thought was possible.” 

Sam knelt down onto one knee and pulled out a ring from his back pocket. “I want to spend my forever with you. Will you marry me, y/n?”

Your eyes were clouded with tears as you thought about the events of the last few days. Sam had been trying to propose to you. All of the love songs, the flowers, him coming home before you. You hadn’t noticed because this was typical behavior from Sam; he was constantly showering you with love and affection.

You wiped the tears from your eyes before you wrapped your arms around Sam’s neck and drew him in for a kiss. His arms immediately went to your waist as you kissed. Your hands moved to the front of his shirt as you began plucking the buttons open. You wasted no time removing the shirt from his body.

As you removed his shirt, Sam worked on removing your shorts and panties. You pulled away for a second and stepped out of your pants and pulled your shirt over your head while Sam stepped out of his.

Your eyes roved over his body as the two of you stood bare before each other for a moment and when your eyes locked once again, the two of you reached for each other and your lips crashed together. 

Your movements were frenzied as you kissed. Sam’s hands gripped all over your body as if he couldn't get enough of you. You wrapped one of your legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer, so Sam lifted you up and sat you on the counter. Sam was the first to break from the kiss as he began to move down your neck. He palmed your breast and rolled you nipple between his fingers while leaving a trail of bites down your neck.

Neither of you spoke as he kissed his way down your plump stomach and set your knees on his shoulders. He placed a gentle kiss along your inner thighs and locked eyes with you once again. Your eyes rolled back when he first licked you, drawing out a moan from the both of you. Your eyes snapped open when Sam pulled back. You watched as Sam adjusted himself and got comfortable; he wrapped his arms around your thighs and spread you open to him.

“Such a pretty sight,” he mused before he dove back in.

Your hands shot to his head as he ate you with fervor. You chanted his name over and over as he licked and slurped at your core. You felt yourself getting closer as he ate, and you clenched when he slid a finger inside of you. 

Sam pulled back and continued to fuck you with his finger. “I know you’re close, baby girl” the movement of his finger slowed and he slipped another in. “But you never answered my question.”

Your eyes snapped open at his statement. “S-Sam, please!”

He shook his head, “Nah, I need to hear you say it. I need an answer, baby girl. Will you marry me?” his fingers thrust in time with his words.

You were so close to your release, it was right there. If you moved just right, you knew that you could get it.

As if sensing your thoughts, Sam gripped your hip with his free hand and he completely stopped moving.

Your chest rose and fell a couple of times while you tried to compose yourself. You reached out and cupped Sam’s cheek. With as confident as Sam always was, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes. Sam wasn’t a mind reader, and you needed to reassure him that you were his and his forever.

You locked eyes with Sam and nodded, “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

The smile that graced Sam’s face made your heart swell. And when he swooped down and kissed you, with his fingers still inside of you, you swore you saw stars.

Sam resumed his movements while he kissed you, his fingers moving faster than before. You panted against his lips as he continued to fuck you.

“Cum on my fingers, baby,” he egged you on. “Cum on my fingers so you can cum on my dick next.”

You clenched on his fingers as they sped up.

“You feel so good, so wet and warm,” he praised. “I can’t wait for you to cum on my dick again and again and again.”

You gripped his arm when your legs started shaking, you threw your head back and Sam attached his lips onto your neck.

“That’s it, baby, cum for me. Cum for me, wife.”

So you did. You clenched down hard on Sam’s fingers making it hard for him to continue moving. 

“That’s it, baby girl, fuck you look so good cumming for me like this, Sam praised again.“Spread out on the kitchen counter like the meal you are. I can’t wait to be buried inside of you for the rest of the night.”

A/N 2: If you ‘like’ this, please reblog or leave a comment (even if it’s just an emoji) It would mean so much to me!!!

unspoken magic - drew starkey

magic - gabrielle aplin 

(10/10 reccomend ALL HER MUSIC)

so i found this song on spotify while i was looking for a song to write a cute fluffy drew fic to and it gave me such drew vibes bc homeboy doesn’t know how to use any form of social media lol...also the rant is literally me. like my thoughts and actions and beliefs. some of yall 13 year olds really don’t know the meaning of BOUNDARIES.

...anyways enjoy,

-BRI

if you want to join or get taken off the taglist just let me know in my messages or in the comments 😊

taglist: @ampanonyg @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @jjmbanks @maybanksbaby @1-800-jjslut  @simpforstarkey @jellyfishbeansontoast

Remember when we snuck out of your birthday, didn't even say goodbye, 'Cause even there in a room full of faces, all I saw was you and I

     Everyone was having a blast dancing around, drinking, laughing. It was Drew’s birthday after all. The cast had decided to rent out a club and invite family and friends, including everyone who worked on set, the workers have become more like family than colleagues. There was so much chaos going on and while Y/n was so proud of the cast and herself for pulling the event off for her boyfriend, she couldn’t help but feel a little antisocial. She was a social butterfly, but everyone knew that after days of being the life of the party and extroverted, she needed time alone and started to shut down, wanting to be alone. Y/n was so excited for the party but when it came time for her to get dressed up and drunk with her friends, she found herself sitting alone on a couch booth while sipping wine, not really seeing the fun in getting wasted and stupid drunk. 

     Y/n watched as Drew and Rudy drunkenly danced back to back, screaming out the words to OMG by Usher, she laughed as he made eye contact with the young girl and pointed to her, wiggling his finger for her to join him. She held her glass up and tried giving him a believable smile, but the older boy knew better, so he made his way over to her.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Drew slid his way next to his girlfriend and used the towel on the table to wipe the sweat off of his face. “Did somebody upset you?”

“Nothing bubba, I’m fine.”

      Y/n looked up from her short-lived attempt at avoiding Drew’s eyes to him already looking at her. She watched as his hand moved toward her hair as he pushed a fallen piece behind her ear. He looked around her face and finally met her eyes, not believing her. “I’m fine, Drew. I promise.”

     Drew sat back away from her as he let out a loud sigh. “Why do you do that? Why do you lie to my face and tell me that you’re ok like I’m going to buy it? Why can’t you just tell me the truth?”

     “Drew, I really don’t wanna do this right now,” the young girl pleaded. “It’s your birthday, can’t we just have a good time and not worry about me right now?” To that Drew looked at his other half like she had grown another half. 

     “Ok, first of all, this,” He moved his finger quickly in the small space between them. “This Is not a fight. This is me being upset because my girlfriend won’t let me worry about her. I guess she doesn’t know how relationships work.” Drew teased the girl with a small smile on his face. “And second, we both know that I can’t have a good time if you’re sitting over here all sad and mopey.”

It's all the words you never say, the way I catch you watchin' me, I know that you love me, i know you can feel the magic, we don't need to talk about

     After a little back and forth, the young boy had finally gotten the girl to spill the truth about needing some alone time and was now trying to sneak them out of his own birthday party. As the pair rode home, Y/n couldn’t help but look at Drew as he stared ahead. She watched as his changing blue eyes flickered between the path in front of him and the many cars behind him, also driving in the early hours of the morning. 

     Though there were many signs, lights, and flashes that caught her mind’s attention, basically begging her eyes to look, she couldn’t help but only see Drew. This was her favorite kind of Drew. When he is totally unbothered. He was doing something so simple, something that he had been doing since he turned 15, now 27 it only seems right that he should be used to it. However, Y/n couldn’t help to notice how he put all his effort into it, eyes never once leaving the road, she liked to believe that it was his way of self consciously protecting her. And even though she thought she was going unnoticed, the young girl wasn’t the only one admiring from not so far. Drew was watching her too but through his peripheral. He loved that she was enchanted by everything he did. He liked knowing that he wasn’t the only one completely and hopelessly in love. 

No, we don't feel the need for colorful displays, 'cause it's not the kind of game we play, and why should we show the world how we feel, when it's not about them anyway

     Everyone was over at Madelyn’s apartment chilling and hanging out with one another. The blonde was stationed on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table, with a live Instagram leaning on a few books. Y/n was sitting directly behind the girl, turned to the side with her legs pulled up to her chest. She had let Maddie use her phone, the 22-year-old being too lazy to walk to her room and get hers, so now she was just watching as Madelyn socialized with the fans. 

“Ow, shit.” 

     Y/n turned her head to see Drew sitting on the edge of the couch next to her holding his foot with a worried stare. The younger girl let out a small snort. “Did you hit your toe bub?” 

     Drew let out a whiny noise and Maddie proceeded to also let out a laugh, then reusing one of her famous lines, “Never heard anyone whine like that before.” Y/n gently pushed the girl’s shoulder, teasingly telling her to leave the big baby alone. She then returned her vision to the raging comment section. Her once big smile quickly fading to a frown.

I think its a PR stunt bc they don’t even act like a couple

Drew deserves someone who actually loves him...LIKE ME!

gUys she called him bUb! THATS SO CUTE (emoji)

Nah thats def apr stunt, more obvious than shawn and camila

I don’t eleven think i’ve seen them hold hands

     Madelyn and Y/n simultaneously rolled their eyes, the blonde looking up at her best friend gave her a look that spoke “you gonna tell em or me.”

     Y/n slid down from the couch and joined her friend on the floor, getting right in front of the camera. She looked up at her loving boyfriend who was on his phone also looking at the comments on the live. He glanced down towards Y/n and gave her a small smile, telling her to go for it. It wasn’t the first time they had seen comments like this and he knew it wouldn’t be the last but he also knew that she had been dying to rant about it. 

     “Alright, I’m gonna go ahead and say this one thing, and then I’m probably going to take some time off this app.” The young actress slowly took a deep breath and then began her rant. “ Alright, first of all, my relationship with ANYONE, is between me and that person. Just because I have friends, boyfriends or family, does not mean that I have to post them on this account. I understand that it’s hard to believe that 2 people can be happy and healthy unless they showcase it to the rest of the world, but it is in fact very possible. So for everyone who is questioning, my relationship,” the girl then grabbed Drew’s hand, pulling him down to her side of the couch until he was laying on his side behind her head. “This is Drew. My boyfriend. It’s not a publicity stunt, it’s not to get the show more popular, it’s real. Outer Banks is already the number one show on Netflix, so I don’t really think there would be a point to put 2 people in a fake relationship. And another thing, I don’t even have a fucking publicist, so I don’t really know where that came from.” 

     The young girl turned her head to meet Drew’s blue eyes, he looked at her with such satisfaction and amazement. He was proud of his younger girlfriend. For years Drew thought that he would never find someone who was anti-social media like him. He thought that he was just going to have to bare his relationships getting exploited all over the world. Drew was happy that he never had to worry about that with Y/n. 

     “I completely understand why it’s confusing and how you can question our relationship. But that doesn’t mean you can drag our relationship, and me particularly, down. You have no right to say the things you do about me, just because you think that the small, tiny, look into our lives means that I don’t love and care about Drew. Like, no offense, but that’s fucking insane. I’m tired of getting private messages about my weight, my clothes, my hair, my AGE. Don’t even get me started on the age difference. Half of the fan accounts on this app are run by 13-year-olds saying very inappropriate things about a 27-year-old grown-ass man. Like yall understand that’s illegal right. Like, get it through your head that those are fantasies and no matter HOW MANY TIMES you drag ME down, they will NEVER come true. My age isn’t anyone’s business, I’m over 18 so get over it.” Y/n then let out a loud sigh. “I need a damn drink.” 

     To this Drew laughed and kissed her on the cheek, while the other cast members started to whoop and holler while applauding the young girl’s words. They too were proud other, they knew of the struggles that she went through and they knew that most of the time she kept those feelings balled up. Madelyn then grabbed the phone and said her goodbyes to the live, then ending it. 

     The blonde then wrapped her arms around her best friend. “I’m so proud of you, babe. That was so badass.”  Madison saw the interaction from across the room and ran over to join them, adding herself to the hug. 

     “It was great, sissy. You really told them who’s boss.” That last comment made Y/n laugh out loud. She was so happy to have a supporting friend and cast group that made her feel loved. She couldn’t have asked for better friends. 

     “It was pretty hot too,” Drew smirked and pulled the young girl away from the group hug and grabbed her face, and gave her a long passionate kiss, something he rarely did in front of others. “I’m proud of you bubba.”

She couldn’t have asked for better friends. 

Or a better boyfriend. 

Don't need to see it to believe it, no need to wake me up, 'cause I'm not dreamin'

     The couple was laying in their bed just enjoying each other’s presence. Limbs all spread around but managing to stay intertwined. Sunlight was seeping into the white-painted room, brightening everything up, including the pair’s mood. Drew was leaning against the headboard very lazily, running his hands through Y/n’s hair,  who was sitting in his lap, thighs down beside his knees, with her head on his chest. Drew had woken up early and tried to get the younger girl out of bed, but she refused to do so. So he decided that he would just deal with it and let her drift back off to sleep, but with a twist.

     It humored the young actor that people thought they weren’t a cuddly and touchy couple. They were absolutely a touchy couple, they just didn’t enjoy being touchy in front of others, some people not being into that and they didn’t want to make anyone feel awkward. It was more a Drew thing. He was the one who suggested they not have a lot of PDA, and while Y/n was all for PDA, she would do anything for Drew to make him happy. At the beginning of their relationship, Y/n was insecure about Drew’s real feelings because he didn’t show much love through touch, but she eventually mentioned it to him. Ever since then he always made it a point to show more affection the second they were alone. Hints their situation now. 

     Drew watched as Y/n started to stir in her sleep. She started to whine and Drew felt her chest start to move a little faster. She was having another nightmare. 

     “Shhh, shhh. You’re ok, it’s ok,” the young man started to rub her back and hold her a little tighter. He wanted the nightmare to stop but he didn’t want to ruin her sleep. “It’s just a dream. You’re ok, bubba.” Drew closed his eyes and gave a small smile when he felt her calm down, turn her head the other direction and hold onto him a little tighter. Despite what the young girl believed, Drew loved the affection that she gave him. Being the oldest of 3 kids, the boy felt like he had to grow up fast and while he knew his parents loved them all equally, he got less of the affection. He had to grow up and become a little man, help his mom prepare dinner, he and logan had to help take care of Brooke and Mackayla. He just thought that he wasn’t a fan to touch, but when it came to Y/n’s touch he couldn’t get enough of it.  

     Drew closed his eyes and relaxed his body, trying to drift off to sleep himself.  He knew he wasn’t dreaming yet, but he never wanted to leave this dream state with her. Getting to love someone like her, was something Drew never even dreamed of but now he was thankful for that. Because no dream could have lived up to the life that he gets to live with the girl that he loves.

A Grande Interlude

Intro | part1 | part2 | part3 | part4

Funnily enough, this chapter begins exactly the same way as the last one: Russell is sad about Girl A and moves onto Girl B in order to make a point. He also wants Girl B to produce his music.

Writing songs for women (hoping they’ll touch his pee-pee and make him famous) is classic Russ behaviour. I’m only covering two cases, but he also tried it with Kylie Jenner (‘Win a Date with Kylie Jenner’) and Katy Perry (‘You Won’t Ever Have To Write Another Sad Song’). There’s also a generic song for the Instagram flavour of the week, perfectly titled ‘Right Here, Right Here (You Deserve a Better Life’).

This time, Ariana Grande drew the short straw.

Russ purchased a ticket to one of her concerts in Salt Lake City, as well as a meet&greet pass. Where is he getting all this money? I have no idea — some questions are better left unanswered. Either way, by going through his Quora profile, you can tell some primo wooing was about to take place.

The best part is that, when Russ says “a letter”, he means an entire notebook and one of his songs. 

So he goes to the concert and seems to have the time of his life. He gets a picture with Ariana, which is pretty cool, I guess. And he seems to be genuinely happy, as seen here:

*lets take a second to appreciate the bitter shade thrown at Tay. 

...but there’s something secretly bothering him 👀

By now you’re familiar with Russell’s tactics. He’s that guy on tinder who, if you take more than 10 minutes to answer, will tell you that you’re an ugly slut anyway.

Pst! “Her manager isn’t a nice guy either” 👀 I think we can actually agree on that one, Russ!

Let’s ignore Russ’ violent tendencies and casual racism for a moment. We don’t want to get depressed here. Instead, I think we should take a closer look at Ariana’s face. You know, the face of a medieval executioner or whatever:

🙂

Where’s the black hood and enormous french sword? What the fuck kind of beheading is this, Russell?

But, with this picture as his profile pic, he goes on to rant about how she hugged a random fan and not him. Purposefully ignoring that this “random fan” was a teenager and not a nearly 30 YEAR OLD MAN IN A SUIT, WHO BROUGHT HER FLOWERS EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS A STRICT “NO GIFTS” POLICY. Sit down, Russ.

While that whole post is absolute gold, my favourite part is when he said he isn’t going to sue Ariana, and moments later *spoiler alert* he sues Ariana. I guess he realised that it’s healthier to just be honest with oneself and admit that “yes, I am a shitbag willing to try anything to get a pretty girl to acknowledge my existence.”

As you might’ve expected, it was another small claims court. In Utah. It’s beautiful in a way, I think. Poetic💫.

You might be wondering what he means with “she only felt sorry yesterday because people got hurt”. Well... you’ll be clenching your cute butt at this.

He thought it would be a great idea to post this right after the Manchester Arena bombing. Yes, the one that happened at an Ariana’s concert.

Yep.

His “friends” on Facebook weren’t crazy about that decision either. Which of course made Russ even angrier:

didn’t compliment my suit

didn’t compliment my suit

didn’t compliment my suit

... people died, but she didn’t compliment his suit. I want an Uber to drive me into the fucking sun.

However!! Ultimately, Ariana saw this post and called Russ to apologise.

lol jk

Of course she didn’t: she hired a lawyer. Or someone on her team did. Ariana hasn’t given this man a second thought since she met him.

This lawyer, by the way, is the same one who defended Taylor Swift. Isn’t that marvellous? I imagine him very sexy, I don’t know why. I think I’ve seen a picture of him, and I know that I could easily look him up, but I don’t want to. I’m very attracted to the image I’ve built up in my mind. SHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS.

Before we get into this trial, please let me tell you this cool thing: so I’m getting most of my information from Kiwi Farms, right? Russell’s thread has, at time of writing, 2600+ pages. Russell is to that community what TTB&co is to us. So obviously, the day of the trial was their Christmas Day. And someone from Utah actually said “I have the day off today, screw it, I deserve a treat” and went to witness the spectacle in person. And wrote it all down. An actual angel from heaven I’m telling you.

That’s the kind of community I hope we develop around here. I want to imagine that if TTB gets sued by Josh or whatever, whoever is closest will travel to the trial and take pictures. Or you know what? Fuck it, we will all travel and make a fan convention of it. We can compliment each other’s suits!

Anyway, back to the topic on hand. You can read the transcript but I’ll give you the tl;dr:

First of all, Russell is late. The judge and Sexy Lawyer both assume he isn’t showing up, and the judge even decides to dismiss the case. But then Russ shows up. He wrote the time wrong on his calendar, and he even tries to show the judge his phone to prove it.

The trial was a mess — a short mess, though. The judge makes such a nice effort to explain the law to Russ. Then he gives him an almost fatherly talk about how you can’t just post whatever toxic shit you like on Social Media. And I absolutely loved it, because this adorable boomer was trying really hard to connect with ~the youth~. My favourite part is the judge trying to describe emojis:

“How do you explain: seven days later, happy happy, emoticon people, what are those, teddy bears? I don’t know. Things.”

That’s me trying to speak The TikTok with the kidz.

... turns out dear Russ had posted on Facebook that “there will be blood!” at the trial. And also that he would kick Sexy Lawyer’s ass 🤷‍♀️. For all of this, Russell apologises — but also he says this:

“I wasn’t associating it with any threat whatsoever. I was saying something stupid. I was being troll-y. I have over 1000 followers on Facebook.”

*none of the screenshots are mine

🌈⭐️The DTL Mods scared of being called out so they make a callout post about me in secret.

Get ready for a juicy story newcomers. This is a fun one.

Granted there are people in the dtl amino that still like me, so the word got back to me. These people literally are incapable of understanding, that yeah people can lie (ChibiTacoLord) and be toxic behind the scenes. There’s a reason why Taco doesn’t have many friends and I do. Not trying to diss or anything.

⭐️Addressing The People Making Testimonies⭐️

Ark - Person in the dtl community that would bully multiple people calling their art trash and making fun of people’s mental disabilities. I sent screenshot evidence to Bregee. She dismissed it saying “He’s my friend. That’s just how he is.”

It wasn’t him just attacking me either, I could careless about random nobodies reeing at me, but he was attacking some of the nicest people in dtl community. Calling their art terrible and hoping they’d die, and because of him multiple people left the dtl community. I was contacting Bregee as a voice for these people because they were scared to say anything, and she brushed it aside. “He’s a friend.” Despite me giving her fair warning that Ark is a douchebag she allowed him to stick around and what does he do? He goes on FurryAmino calling people “faggots” and their art “cringe”. Am I suppose to go “Poor Ark”? I legit feel no sympathy for him. He sabotaged the DTL Discord all on his own, yet I get blamed for it apparently. No thank you. I do not claim Ark as my responsibility. You made it clear he’s your two year old to handle. I’m also not banned from Furry Amino as Bregee has said. I’m still using it and have been for years, being featured, and making friends there, and will be a curator on it here soon.

Ark went on there screaming how he hates me and people tore him apart for it. (He basically just called my art cringe and the people who like it are cringe too).

In furry culture, you do not attack an artist without evidence, and Ark didn’t have any. (In regards for me being bad at commissions)

In shame he left the amino and deleted his account/hid it from me(one of the possibilities, he could’ve been banned due to breaking numerous rules) blaming me for people yelling at him. I didn’t say anything other than telling people to leave him alone and let staff deal with him. People were not kind to him, granted he was personally attacking people. People were pulling apart his arguments and pushed him off the amino. I wasn’t made aware of it till later when people were gloating about it to me, sharing me images of him getting spammed with clown emojis. That’s a funny lie for him to tell though in an attempt to save face. If he goes around saying I’m banned there, because I’m one of the biggest community members and still to this day. People on there message me everyday telling me it’s becuase of me they pursue art and love to animate. Maybe Ark is just an idiot though and just learned how to use the block button? And thought block was the same as a ban? Wouldn’t be the first a DTL Amino/Discord person learned that.

BakiDance - I worked with them to solve the raid issue. I said nothing nazi related except when I was @ by Ark and I made a joke in response to him.

Alli - Would ask me to do sexual Roleplay when I was 11-12. WOULD ASK ME, and I would do them becuase I didn’t understand at the time. It was like incest/rape/gore shit. She then would call my art shit and call me homophobic. When called out for it, she went to the excuse “oh we sexual rp’d”, as if that doesn’t also look bad back on her.

Bregee- She invited me back to the DTL discord and I told her no becuase she doesn’t curate it. She got offended. Then showing me like a 10 page document of new rules for her discord which made me cringe. (It was massive and full of inconsistencies) She then messaged me again, asking me about the New Years. I gave her a short stiff response, because of the Ark situation I had a distrust of her. She was doubly offended. She then randomly accused me of befriending nazis/pedofiles, which I found funny because, number one, she doesn’t know my friends, number two, she doesn’t know me. She’s like a hate Stan. Literally, she looks at my art and obsesses over it to a negative degree. She’s joined my discord, follows me, dms me. I know she hangs out with Taco/Alli some of the most toxic people in the dtl fandom, so hh. Unless she wants to say otherwise.

Chibi Taco Lord - Would ask me to do sexual rps, and I would decline, because of the bad experience I had with Alli, she promised me she woulnt be like Alli so I agreed once and it was okay. I’m an adult, Taco is an adult. I sexual rp to this day if both parties are adults and consent to it.

When it comes to abuse art. It’s the Pot calling the Kettle black. Taco made a whole story about her Drew getting raped and beaten by Wilfre and shared it with me. Abuse art of her Drew that she drew still exists to this day too btw on the dtl amino. So if you banned me due to my depressed Wilfre comics. Guess you gotta purge a whole lot more people, becuase sad comics are banned. Edgy art is banned. I think it’s stupid, but come on, don’t be hypocritical.

This isn’t an accussation out of nowhere either. I have screenshots of her doing this, drawings she’s made, and testimonies of “bystanders” who witnessed her asking for sexual abuse roleplay, Roxy nonetheless (a curator on the amino has witnessed this). I only share this info becuase she moved goal posts from “I hate how Baki’s posts has a lot of likes on it”, to “Baki only hates me becuase im autistic”, to now “Baki is a sexual deviant”. I will remove this embarrassing incriminating evidence of ChibiTacoLord, if the DTL Amino staff remove their slanderous take on me. Otherwise, I don’t care, becuase I’m open about my fetishes and I see nothing wrong with them. You can’t say I’m wrong for having the fetish and the DTL Amino staff is okay to have that fetish and post it frequently. Hyprocrites.

My character Cope: Hes literally not a nazi lol! You either have to be a conspiracy theorist, liar, or delusional to think so.

He’s a raposa from Lavasteam, wears a red camo outfit, with golden medals. He’s politically a dictator. Runs a military state. He’s the villain in my stories.

So I don’t see why that’s a problem? What? Are villains just no longer allowed in stories.

Cope is adored by a lot of people. I get requested often to make a comic of him/make a game with him in it. Only a few crazies dislike him and go spouting ‘nazi’.

My friends: I have several friends and none of them are nazis. Absolutely delusional to think I would be friends with someone who hates me. I am friends with Roxy though who ended up having to leave the Drawn To Life Amino staff due to the toxicity of the members. A painful reminder for those people.

—

🌈⭐️Conclusion🌈⭐️

These people are mentally broken and delusional with hate. I find it funny though. They make these little hate spaces, think they’re private, but the word always gets out.

You know what we call people who gather together to hate on one person for superficial reasons?

Get ready to scream. It’s called people a HATE GROUP. Take that to your political obsessed brains.

Anyways, if you see these people. Don’t spam or hate on them. It just fuels their hate for me.

[Non-]Confession

Dear Tegan.

When I think of you, I’m reminded of fruit. Something sweet and citrus with a tough and slightly bitter rind, but once you really dig your fingers in there, the shell falls away to reveal the bright softness underneath.

Or perhaps it isn’t really that thick, and it’s more like the skin of a mango– easy enough once you know how, it’s just that no one really bothers to put in the effort to do so.

But when the right opener comes around, the long wait was worth it, saving the beauty inside for the perfect moment.

One fruit I personally find perfect and beautiful is the peach, which is ironic, because you definitely do not have one of those as advertised in emoji form, it’s more like a pancake than anything ;D

Insincerely, your frenemy Viktoria

P.S. ahahahahaha please don’t hate me

Tegan swiveled in his seat and glared at Viktoria and Tyler, who were sitting behind him and failing to contain their laughter.

He shook his head slightly as they high-fived. “Did you really go through the trouble of thinking of and writing down all that just to lead into ‘lol your butt is flat’?”

Viktoria clenched her hands on her desk and composed herself just long enough to say “Yes,” completely deadpan, before dissolving into another round of giggles.

Of course my best friend and my crush would team up against me, he thought to himself. Fate is a cruel mistress.

...Okay, tone it down, Kylo Ren.

“That’s just so...extra.” He inclined his head, considering. “Okay, fair, extra is kinda Arlington’s thing I guess, so if—“

“Mr. Novak! Please!” The teacher’s exasperated tone called out from the front of the room.

Tegan’s shoulders slumped as he gave Viktoria the most pity-inducing look he could muster, who mouthed ‘Sorry!’ at him and at least had the decency to look sheepish in response.

***

Tyler jostled Viktoria’s shoulder as they left class. “Congrats, you’ve finally made it into the ‘lost cause’ club!”

Viktoria pumped her fist into the air with a sarcastic grin. “Every parents’ dream!”

Tegan hiked his backpack farther up his shoulder. “I don’t know how I've managed to avoid entry for this long.”

Tyler gestured with his hands. “You just gotta act out more, in less passive ways.”

Tegan groaned and flopped sideways as he walked, leaning his head on top of Viktoria’s. “See, but that requires effort.”

Viktoria grinned and patted the top of his head. “Poor baby.”

Tegan righted himself with a groan and half-heartedly attempted to fix his hair.

“Viktoria, sidebar.” Tyler grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the garden area before she even had the chance to blink, let alone protest.

“Why haven’t you told him?”

Viktoria fiddled with the hem of her skirt and glanced at the blades of grass peeking out from underneath her shoes.  “Told who what?”

Tyler crossed his arms and scowled in a scarily accurate impression of Tadashi. “Don’t play dumb with me, Vik. It’s not cute.”

Viktoria collapsed onto the bench, head in her hands, and let her bag fall to the ground. “I just… I dunno, I feel like it’s so painfully obvious, I guess, then if he can’t tell then it’s because he doesn’t want to. React. Or see it. That I am– or, that I have, um...”

Tyler took a seat next to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Okay, listen. I love Tegan. And he is denser than liquid mercury.”

Viktoria’s brows furrowed. “But—“

Tyler gestured grandly outwards at their surroundings.

“Call it Newton’s third law or perfectly balanced as all things should be or whatever, but somehow, despite his IQ of like, 200, he’s not going to get a hint unless you physically drop it in his lap.” He cocked his head. “Maybe not even then,” he said, mostly to himself.

Viktoria took a deep breath, then sat up straighter and squared her shoulders. “What can I do?”

Tyler half-shrugged and braced one hand against the seat.

“Honestly, the only way you’re going to get through to him is to walk up and say something really straightforward like ‘hey, I like you and I would really like to go out with you sometime, what do you say?’...and you might have to clarify that yes, you mean as in a date date and not just as friends.”

Viktoria recoiled. “What? Tyler! That’s gonna kill him!”

Tyler rolled his eyes and leaned back against the backrest of the bench. “He’ll survive! Probably!”

Viktoria started down at her lap and picked at the skin at the edges of her fingernails.

“I’m still trying to figure some things out. In the meantime, do you mind not telling him about this?”

Tyler sighed and crossed one of his legs over the other so one ankle was resting on the opposite knee. “I can’t lie to him.”

Viktoria bit her bottom lip. “I wouldn’t ask you to. But could you please not bring it up out of nowhere otherwise? Or like, unless he directly asks you.”

Tyler solemnly raised his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”

Viktoria squinted at him. “You were a scout?” she asked, dubious.

Tyler grinned suddenly. “No, but I will swear on my most prized box of thin mints.”

Viktoria grinned back and reached over to high-five his raised hand. “Even better.”

Tyler let his hand drop and shifted his weight. “So who else knows?”

Viktoria winced and pulled the hair back out of her face. “Um, Alistair, Tadashi, Ellie, I think Neha, maybe Claire—”

Tyler blinked owlishly and motioned for her to stop. “Bruh, at this rate everybody in the entire school is going to know before Tegan does.”

Viktoria wrapped her arms around herself. “Well, at least I didn’t tell Raquel. I get the feeling that she’s not exactly a vault of secrets.”

Tyler pursed his lips and looked over her shoulder at the lattice. “Oh, you sweet summer child.”

Viktoria swallowed thickly and slumped backward in her seat. “And I just set a ticking time bomb for myself.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow and patted her on the knee. “Look, whatever it is that you have to work out, you better make it quick. I’ll do my level best, but I make no promises that I cannot keep.”

Viktoria reached over and gave him a gentle punch on the arm. “Snitches get stitches, Williams.”

Tyler shivered involuntarily. “Ooh, I just felt a chill. Did you just feel a chill? Two can play at this game, Lin. No, that’s not really–“

“–it’s too short to be threatening,” Viktoria finished, glancing up and to the left as she recalled her friends’ surnames.  

“Drew. See, it just doesn’t work well.”

Tyler furrowed his brows and leaned forward. “Collins. There we go. Durand.”

Viktoria smiled slightly and rested her arm on the armrest nearest to her. “Novakova. Pereira-Carma— no, that’s on the other end, it’s too long.”

She reached over to grab the strap of her abandoned backpack. “Dude, did we just skip class?”

Tyler scratched the back of his head. “Hm, I think we did. Well, it was the last one of the day, so…”

Viktoria sighed and pulled herself to her feet. “Alright cool, I’m going to hide in my room until morning.”

Tyler grinned and shot finger guns at her. “See you then. And good luck.”

***

The next morning, Viktoria headed to the bathroom first thing. She had just set her bag of toiletries down on the sink counter when Tyler came rushing in, frenetic.

Viktoria broke into a cold sweat and whirled around to wave her toothbrush at him. “I’m brushing my teeth! I am brushing my teeth! I promise!”

“Ugh, you would not believe– well maybe you would, but I digress—“ Tyler barreled on, ignoring her.

“I stayed strong for as long as I could, but the constant battering of ‘does she like me Tyler? But like, like like me, Tyler? are you listening to me, Tyler?’ cracked me like an egg so I finally blurted it out and he goes, ‘No, I think you’re either reading too much into things or trying to make me feel better.’ I can’t take this anymore!” He threw his arms skywards, then collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Viktoria began brushing her teeth and stared at him, as other people filed in and out without paying either of them any attention whatsoever.

Extra, as ridiculous as it seems, may have been an understatement.

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong...  But honestly I’m still not convinced.  I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation.  I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show.  And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way.  The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly.  The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around.  The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest.  the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best.  Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends.  You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib.  That seems very weird to me.  that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development.  A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right?  a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.”  But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine.  Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy.  so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad.  The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior.  What is Zim?  All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear.  Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human.  Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~.  The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience.  You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic.  You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me.  I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf.  I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.

november 26

a two-man team by @idnis​ [requested by @foxsoulcourt​ and @sig66​]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this super cute fic features nicky who is doing his best to raise a kid while simultaneously falling for said kid’s teacher, erik mountain man klose. as one might imagine, this is hilarious and so fun to read

this is such a funny, wonderful, and adorable fic, it was really entertaining to see how nicky reacted to things and all his rambling. erik was such a star, i’m so happy that they were able to meet. i always love your unique writing style, and this time was no different!

parts i enjoyed:

”everyone who knew him two years ago knew there was a dark, dark year where nicky wore the same sweatpants for weeks on end until allison quite literally cut them to pieces while they were still on his body” ohmygoodness, this is so funny! i would have loved to see this, i bet allison was chasing after nicky who was running away yelling ‘but they’re comfortable!!’ and cutting off whatever chunk of sweatpant was closest to her

”they feel almost sacred, these few minutes in the morning where everything is completely silent” yes! i totally understand this

”sometimes nicky pretends he’s living alone, that he’s just like any other 25 year old, but he always feels guilty after” this is kind of heartbreaking. nicky has such a big heart and is a natural caretaker, but i think that he’s so used to this mindset of taking care of other people that he forgets he has to first take care of himself. he’s sacrificed a lot for the people that he loves and i wish he was able to see that he’s doing so much good and it’s okay if he misses the life he could have had. he really didn’t have much time to be a young adult

THE PINEAPPLE SOCKS! that’s so cute!!

the little socks emoji!!!!! such a great detail that you included

ohmygoodness erik and his mountain climbing haha

”hugo merely puts another potato wedge in his mouth” for some reason i really liked this sentence

”it’s like walking through a hobbit village” this is true haha so many tiny things

hhhHH margaret is the worst, like “nicky would like to fake-gently slap her”? well i want to aggressively slap her. people are so rude!! soooo annoying i can’t express it through words

”before nicky can shover her into the cute little coat racks” i love this! haha something about the contrast between nicky trying to skewer someone and the little kids things is really funny to me

ERIK LOOKS CLIMBABLE NICKYYYY

”nicky swears he can hear joyous goats bleating in the background” LOL this is so funny what in the world

ALL THE MOMS SUDDENLY DROPPING OF THEIR KIDS WHILE WEARING A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF MAKEUP (probably) JUST TO SEE MOUNTAIN MAN?? yikes. and also, hilarious!

nooooooo hugo thinking nicky forgot him?? how dare you!

i love that even though nicky is really interested in erik and wants to hang out with him, he prioritizes hugo and gets him out of that overwhelming environment. he’s so thoughtful

”in a way, because this isn’t normally where he finds attractive men, and he usually doesn’t share his crush with 20 middle-aged mothers” this is funny, but also? i don’t know how i feel about all these middle-aged women flirting with this teacher. (just kidding. i know how i feel. and that is bad. it’s kind of creepy of these moms to act like that…..)

it’s neil! and andrew! i am so happy to see that in this au, even after they’ve all grown up, they’re still close to nicky and are there to help him

”’have you made a move on him?’ andrew asks without blinking” sometimes i forget that andrew’s version of flirting is very… blunt haha

”nicky laughs awkwardly while mr. erik just stares at him” IS ERIK ALSO JUST BLANKING BECAUSE HE LIKES NICKY

”but he gets interrupted by the human embodiment of an air horn, loud and full of compressed air” oh my goodness this is the perfect description of margaret haha

”mr. erik looks down at his shirt with what looks like regret” LOL

i think it’s cute that andrew and neil are there, not just to help with taking care of hugo, but to give advice to nicky and help him as he’s freaking out

”the words are sweet, sweet vindication, because mr. erik refused to call margaret by her name” YES! take that, margaret

THE PICTURE HUGO DREW OF HIS FAMILY IS SO CUTE. the part to follow is not as cute, but it’s so great to read. we get to see a different side of nicky, where his concerns are and evidence of how much he’s trying. i love that he brought up the socks thing, it’s such a realistic thing to worry about, but also shows how good hugo is being taken care of

choosing what hugo should call nicky is such a tender moment!! so soft

”aside from a few prepackaged snacks that never see the light of day because nicky only reaches for them in the evening when hugo is already asleep” HAH

”’hugo,’ he says solemnly. ‘cancel all your plans tonight. we’re going to bake’” this is the most nicky thing ever!

oh my goodness, the bake sale. those moms probably spent all that time organizing their table instead of playing with their kids smh

”really? it does kinda look like it only took you half an hour” OH NICKY WHAT A BURN

THE COOKIE CART IS ADORABLE AND SO CREATIVE AND I LOVE IT

UHM MARGARET IS SO TERRIBLE AND AWFUL HOW DARE SHE SAY THAT ABOUT NICKY

bless erik, for being understanding and smart and for trusting that nicky is a good guy.

ohmygoodness erik touches nicky’s hair halsdkfsajf

PRIVATE BIOLOGY LESSONS? ERIK!!

”like it’s black friday and he’s a sephora store” YOUR SIMILES ARE AMAZING AND HILARIOUS

awww the updated family portrait is so cute!

”for a moment, nicky forgets he’s not an owl as he quickly spins his head around” LOLOL

”hugo pulls a face” big mood, hugo

woohoo!! allison has arrived to help nicky win his guy!!!!

ALLISON GOING IN TO SCOPE OUT ERIK WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL

”’which is what nicky, stupidly, says. ‘wow, you look gorgeous.’” NICKY NOOO WHY DID YOU DO THAT

”at that, hugo’s eyes turn big. ‘enchilada night?’” oh this is so precious

erik telling nicky not to cut himself off is wonderful!!! they’re such a good match, i think nicky really needs someone in his life that’s as supportive as erik. as supportive as the twinyards are, they’re more the silent type that shows affection through insults which is… not the type of support nicky needs

A TWO-MAN TEAM THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS THE TITLE OF THE FIC EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW

”if only that was possible, nicky thinks for a bleak, bitter moment, before he knows, knows, that that’s not true” NO NICKY IT IS POSSIBLE. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY

i know this is just like a tiny detail, but ohmygoodness hugo’s pineapple lunchbox sounds really cute. is it shaped like a pineapple (i would want this) or does it just have pineapples on it?

nicky is such a good parent/older person! it’s so nice to hear him asking for ava’s opinion amongst the louder, more outgoing kids

”ava asks in a deep manly voice that isn’t her voice at all” I LOVE THIS SENTENCE LOLOL made me laugh so hard!

wait, who were the parents of hugo? i can’t bear to think that any of the foxes were killed in a car crash

THEY KISS… and yet, there is still miscommunication and everything is back to being terrible

ahh allison and nicky is such a great relationship that i have not seen enough. they have such compatible personalities!

ANOTHER PARENT-TEACHER NIGHT. WE STILL HAVE TIME TO FIX THINGS

”’you don’t need luck when you look like that,’ he says, which is a very much needed confidence boost that nearly makes nicky tear up again” bless andrew, for knowing what nicky needs

everything! is! cleared! up! thank goodness!!!

ohmygoodness of course it’s margaret that discovers them

enchilada time! ahh, love this domestic scene and this part “he said he liked erik first, so he didn’t mind that nicky liked him too” what a kid thing to say!

nicky deserves Good Things and i am glad that he has them in this fic

i really haven’t read any nerik fics before, but i really should if they’re all like this! i loved the seeing everything from nicky’s perspective, he’s so dramatic that it’s always really entertaining to see his side of things. it’s great to see him taking care of hugo, i bet it’s a bit more rewarding but potentially more exhausting than when he was parenting the twinyards, due to the age difference and personality type of hugo, which was more similar to nicky. i think you did an amazing job with the characterization of him, neil, andrew, and allison. i don’t know too much about erik from the books, but i love the way that you wrote him, so caring and sweet and exactly what nicky needs to balance out his self-consciousness and match his humour. this was super fun to read, i’m so glad everything wrapped up so nicely. thank you for writing this!

Nickname; Just Steph, really. Oh, and “Sis” by my family. How many piercings do you have, and where? 2: 1 in each earlobe. What color are your eyes? Brown. And hair? Naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. Does orange look good on you? Can you pull it off? I don’t think any color looks good on me, but anyway I do have a couple orange shirts.

What do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night? That’s never happened, but I imagine I would just read on my phone or listen to Spotify until I fell asleep. What do you do with yourself when you’re at the beach? My mom, brother, and I like to go and just relax and chill. We don’t even really talk a whole lot, we just kinda zone out. She and my brother usually are lying down with headphones in or taking a nap while tanning, and I just get lost watching the ocean crash in and out and listening to the sound it makes. I just soak it all in. I love it. Are you shy, or no? Very. Have you ever been to St. Augustine? Nope. Have you ever been to Ocala? Nope. Have you ever just been to Florida? Nope. What about Indiana? Nope. Are you nosey? I mean, sometimes I want the “tea” as the kids say about certain things lol. I’ll see a vague status or tweet or something and want to know what it’s in reference to. I’m more nosey when it comes to celebrity gossip stuff, though. Do you “pry”? Well, like with my family I might ask about something in a general way and see what they offer up themselves. If I can tell they don’t want to talk about something then I don’t push it. If it’s someone I don’t know well then no, I don’t ask about it. I am guilty of trying to piece it together myself based on other tweets/statuses when possible, though... :x Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber so much? He did some stupid, douchey things in the past, but it seems he’s grown up now and living the married life. What’s your favorite commercial? I don’t care much for commercials. Do you find me annoying, yet? No. Who has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen? Alexander Skarsgard. I’m also quite envious of Paris Jackson’s eyes.  When’s the last time you pulled an all-nighter? I don’t recall. I don’t think I have at all this year thus far. They used to be pretty common for me, but now I can barely stay up until like 2.  What were you doing? During my all nighters? Just watching TV and on Tumblr and/or doing surveys, mostly. Sometimes I played The Sims or colored. Purple on guys; Yes, or no? I don’t care. Do you like Boys Like Girls? I was really into them at one point. Hero/Heroine was my favorite of theirs.  Do you actually try everything on before you buy it? I never do that. I rarely have an issue with something not fitting right anyway. Do you ever actually check the price? Always. I’m not rollin’ in the deep where I can just spend willy nilly.  What’s your favorite candle scent? I really love autumnal scented ones like Bath & Body Works has. Have you ever known anyone with a dog blind in one eye? My dog, Brandie, became blind during the last 3 years of her life due to diabetes.  You do, now. Sortof. Ah. Have you ever been friends with a forgein exchanged student? I don’t think I knew any. Was it sad when they went back to… wherever they came from? Have you ever been given any sort of ring? Yes, as gifts from my parents. The last one I received was a college class ring.  Do you know anyone that works at a tattoo shop? Nope. If you HAD to get a tattoo, what would it be, and where? I’ve wanted ‘free bird’ tattooed on my inner wrist for several years.  Do you own any lockets or charm bracelets? Yeah. The last dress you were in; What’d it look like? It’s white and teal. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? I never got into it. What’s your favorite nickname of yours? Like I said, I only have 2. What’s one of yours that you HATE? I don’t hate any of them. Maple or hazelnut flavoring? I like both. What’s your favorite Coke product? Coke. What’s the brand of your cell-phone, and the color? A coral Apple iPhone XR. What’s your favorite body-part on the opposite sex? I find that hands can be pretty attractive.  Are you now, or have you ever been, a cheerleader? Nope. Have you heard any of Eminem’s new Recovery songs? They’re not new now, but yeah. Favorite song lyrics; In general? I have too many. Watergun or water-balloon war? Water gun, I guess. I never enjoyed being hit with a water balloon. Have you ever watched Ugly Betty? I think I saw bits here and there. Would running into your ex right now be painful? It’d just be painfully awkward.  What’s the most annoying sound, ever? * Anything loud and beeping and repetitive. I also get rlly aggravated when the television is turned up too loud <<< Same! And eating sounds, like smacking, sucking, slurping.... aljfklsflsdfljks Are you typo-proned? No, but it happens sometimes. How do you feel about Lady GaGa? I like some of her songs. Are the rumors about her true? What rumors? Are you friends with any “trolls”? No. What would you get a boyfriend for his 17th birthday? I’m 30 years old, I wouldn’t be dating a 17 year old or have any idea what to suggest as a gift for one for someone else. Does your hair have a mind of it’s own? It does seem that way. It’s very annoying. Is Dane Cook really all that funny? I don’t think he is. I’m not that familiar with his comedy. Do you watch Glee? Nope. Do you ever shop at Fredflare.com? Nope. I’ve never even heard of it. Do you happen to know anyone named Matty? (Matthew or Matt will suffice) No. What’s he like? Are you always hyper? I’m never hyper. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? Not severely, but I kind of am, which sucks because I have to use them. Do you like country music? Yeah, some. Y'know. Like, “my mule left me for my sheepdog”; that sorta thing Har har. Do you know any scenesters?!?? Is that still a thing? I wouldn’t know, I’m old and out of the loop. Has any guy ever forgotten your name so often and exclusively that he just started calling you “girl”? Wow, no. Did you have to have braces for awhile, too? :[ Yes, but not for my teeth. Kisses on your cheek, or forehead? I think forehead kisses are cute if they’re from a guy I’m interested in. When’s the last time you wore facepaint? What’d it look like? I don’t recall. Do you still have a teddy-bear lying around somewhere? Not a teddy bear, but several giraffe stuffed animals all around my room. Are you a good-speller? I think so. Do you over-analyze everything, like me? Yeppp. Have you ever rode on the back of a moped? No. Do like Frank Sinatra? I like a couple of his songs. What about Cap'n Jazz? I’m not familiar with them. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? Nope. What’s the brand of the computer or laptop that you’re on? Apple. Are you sitting on your bed? Or a spinny chair?? I’m on my bed. Anyone you can’t get off your mind? No. Have a “bone to pick” with anyone? Nah. What does love feel like? Warm and fuzzy. haha. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don’t have one. I’m not a big Beatles fan. Like, I like some of their songs, but eh. Does it annoy the hell out of you when people smoke around you? Ugh, yes. Do you like guys with long-ish hair? I personally like short hair on guys. How do you talk when you’re drunk? I usually became quite chatty. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? Yeah. I don’t really remember how the conversation went, that was several years ago now. What do you order at Starbucks? Usually a venti white chocolate mocha with soy, sometimes a caramel macchiato with soy. During the fall and winter I like to get some of the seasonal drinks. Except for pumpkin spice. I know, I know. Shocking, right? Penn Station or Subway? I’ve never been to Penn Station, so I’ll go with Subway. People with addictions are weak. Brutal truth, or “falsies”? I wouldn’t say that at all. Do you have a “gunkle”, like me? [: No. The underwear you’re wearing right now; Describe it. They’re blue. When’s the last time you were on a swing? Not since I was a kid sometime. Whose hand did you last squeeze? My doggo’s. Have you ever actually tied string around a finger? Yes. Wouldn’t that be difficult? It wasn’t that hard. Have you ever been in a cornfield with a boylyfriend? (: “Boylyfriend”... And no. Does baby talk annoy you? No. What’s the last thing you wrote (or drew) on yourself? *shrug* That would have been a long time ago. Can you walk straight in heels? I can’t do that at all. Do you like Eskimo kisses? Sure. When’s the last time you sat (or did anything, I guess) on a rooftop? Never. I’d be way too scared to ever do that. Have you ever heard anyone call kissing “swappin’ spit”? Yeah. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? No boyfriend. If I had one, they’d have to bend down to kiss me. Or, have you had to before? Think about your ex. Just do it. How do you feel? I don’t really feel anything regarding them. When’s the last time you lied in bed with the opposite sex. Who was it? I’ve never done that, actually. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? (: Yeah. Have you ever been tackle-hugged into a pool with all your clothes on? Omg, no. That would be very shitty thing to do since I can’t swim and I’m in a wheelchair. Do you own any heart-shaped glasses? Nope. Do you have any photographs on your walls? Yes. Do you own an Ugly Doll? [: No. I’ve never heard of those... Do you overuse :)s, like me? Nah. I don’t go emoji crazy. Do you overuse the word “like”, or “amazing”? Probably “like.” Do you have any crowns? No. Brunette dudes with bleach blonde hair are utterly unattractive. Yes? They can be. Is there anyone that you “see yourself in”, so to speak? No. What’d you last use scissors for? I don’t remember. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Yes. How well’d that go over with him? (Or her, I’m not judging) They just kept asking for one. Are you really over him, or are you just a great liar? I’m over any guy I’ve had feelings for the past. Whose grave did you last visit? My family members who have passed away have been cremated.  Do you have any polaroids? (pictures) Yeah, several. How many photo-albums do you have? A few. Do you scrapbook? Yes. Have you ever made a PostSecret book? Nope. Have you ever seen The Upside Down Show? No. Is it something children should really watch? I don’t know what it is. What about The Wiggles? I’ve seen parts of it before when my brother was little and yeah I recall it being fine for kids to watch. 

“Fruit salad, yummy, yummy.” Name a song that gives you goosebumps. Hmm. Is it wrong to call things “gay”? I think it’s insulting. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever been through? Almost dying. Is there really such thing as a “chemical imbalance”? Uh, yes. Is love really just a chemical reaction? Sure.

14x01 Reactions

I couldn’t get any livestreams to work last night but I really REALLY wanted to liveblog it so I’m just gonna make a post about it instead. If i like this i’ll probably do it whenever i miss an episode airing! Anyhoo, enjoy watching me die slowly in text form

First shot Sam driving Baby??!? Are you kidding me?? r u d e

also bearded Sam *drooling*

i never knew what Muslim prayers said before and they’re super close to Catholic ones. i love that. it makes sense i just never knew 

Jensen speaking other languages was not a kink i knew i had...

JENSEN IS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR I’M YELLING

I’m literally terrified of him this is amazing

and that vOICE

peace and love *cries*

anyways new favorite antagonist alert 

THE TITLE CARD

so reminiscent of season 9 i love it

hippy hunter guy is a snack i ain’t gonne lie...don’t judge me 

girl same 

god i am never gonna get over bearded Sam

FAMILY HUG FAMILY HUG FAMILY HUG

Sammy it’s okay everything always works out...sort of??!?

do you think Sam is jealous of hippy hunter’s hair and beard and that’s the real reason he’s not shaving??

teach her to do it!

also i love Maggie, i hope she sticks around

you are not good Samuel, go sleep!

Jack and Bobby boxing is officially the most pure thing

his hair is so fluffy. i love my soft son

Bobby always speaking words of wisdom :’))))

i already hate this guy...even if his shoes are nice

CAS ORDERED WATER!!! JENSEN WAS RIGHT ASDFGSFBBZABK

Cas looks soooooo good

wow a fashionable demon...wild

this demon knows what’s up lmao

cas and dean are definitely joined at the everything ;)))))

“your life” 

“i’ll speak slower”

sassy cassy coming out but not to play

oh damn oh damn

kick all their asses baby i’ll hold your trenchcoat

STOP HURTING CAS 2K18

I. SAID. STOP.

DANNEEL *a million heart eyes emojis*

dude we got a view of true form.....niiiiiiiiiiice

“oh god” “people keep calling me that” yas i love him

I love the lighting in this scene

the way he said pretty...

if Anael wants love I volunteer

i’m still curious how this whole “not many angels left” thing is going to play

they are worth saving shut your face

hey can i uh....get some jack and cas interactions please

sammy and jackie :’))

yup still not over the beard

get Jack a tv in his room or something

or just decorate it in general it’s so drab

uuuummmmmm who the fuc kis that

what the hell??!?

Nick!?!? wtf

why???????????????

oh wow i’m so torn bc on the one hand this is intriguing but on the other....

how is he alive tho. seriously how is that possible

Nick asking the questions we all have

that explanation seems...thin

idk i’m sure it’ll be useful for the show

even when beat up and bleeding Cas just oozes with “I’m done with your shit”

i like the new gang

Maggie wearing overalls oh boy oh boy be still my gay heart

JACK!?!?! He wants to save his Dad 

he just wants to help and prove he’s still useful even without his powers both to others and to himself and i can’t wait to see him learn he’s not just useful as a weapon but as a part of the family to thanks for coming to my ted talk

I feel like Sam is going into warrior/leader mode to not lose anyone else

i don’t give a shit about your backstory demon dude...just get stabby stabbed already

Sam shush she needs to believe it’s going to be okay too

can we please just have our little family back together again please??

Mary is so worried about him...me too girl

the demon that gets to pat down Sam got the best gig. do you think they drew straws to see who got to do it?

“the shoulders. the hair” same guy same

sex hair cas alert hey-oh

Sam TOWERS over Kip goddamn

DON’T HURT JACK

“what do you want” should’ve been the title 

“i don’t care” so much sass in this episode i love it

“i want the crowley deal” bro you are NOT WORTHY

“you’re not crowley” THANK YOU SAM

also i love that the boys are just the unspoken leaders of hunters 

like they get all the deals with the expectation that all other hunters will follow suit or something

pls demon you’re weak get outta town

you should be afraid of him homie

i want sammy to just straight up punch this dude in the face

wait is maggie in overalls AND camo?? she’s gay. sorry guys i don’t make the rules

i love my parents storming in to save the day

i knew it was coming and i still yelled when they burst in

all the slow mos are so aesthetic

like yes please give me Mary slowly smashing a glass into that demons head. it is very important. for science.

Jack don’t bring on confrontation you’re not ready!!!!

Maggie is gonna be a badass hunter by the end it’s gonna be awesome

Mary and Bobby have such different teaching styles. 

Bobby: learning takes time, don’t rush into things, *insert words of wisdom here*

Mary: here take this, you totally know how to use it right? now go kill something and have fun!

yay the demon got stabby stabbed!!!

anyone else super turned on by sam telling all those demons what’s up?

boyking!sam back in action

a beer is no an icepack sam

casually talking to Ketch on the phone...how things change

Sastiel moment :’)

they’re both so hot...it’s distracting

he’s do anything!! 

Bobby called her sunshine!!! 

one: awww so cute

two: where have we heard that before?? hmmmmmm??

CAS AND JACK INTERACTING THANK YOU

“to be fair we all got punched in the face” !!!! i’m crying he’s the funniest angel in the garrison dsdfvbnmsf 

Cas has matured emotionally so much it makes me cry

Jack, being a weapon is not you’re only use!!!

“i have nothing” “you have me” these aren’t tears i’m just sweating from my eyes

i was denied a hug in that scene and i’m bitter

lol sam had a silver money clip....john mulaney would be proud

dude he recognized her voice so quickly

Michael’s eyes are just devoid of all emotion...it’s crazy how does jensen even do that??

this episode be like “angels and demons and vampires oh my”

THE 9TH *LAST EPISODE* 😭

*just a warning I’ll probably be using caps and crying emojis a lot because I’m in honest to Christ shambles*

let’s just talk about our babies...

Minho was in there slaying, giving himself a nickname and still thanking Seungmin for helping him

Mama Minho

I’m using that

Mama Minho and papa Chan

Mmmmhmmm

Minho drew a snail and was being the meme of the bunch

Tbh I think it was because he knew the others had those heavy hearted cards and he was like

“Ehhh...lemme lighten the mood up a good bit”

I love Minho

CHANGLIX

C👏🏾H👏🏾A👏🏾N👏🏾G👏🏾L👏🏾I👏🏾X

Y’all

I’m so whipped over them rn

If you want reblog and say what you think the letter said

I low key think it was Felix confessing his love. But that’s just my opinion

Tbh he was probably just saying how much he loved him and how he was thankful and it probably turned a little bit mushy cause

All those emotions

Ya‘know

I live for them and their cuteness

They’ve gotten really attached to each other and it’s super adorable ☺️

JEONGIN AND CHAN?

NOPE

FATHER AND SON YOU MEAN 😭😭

Papa Chan truly lived up to his name because he did the smothering thing with jeongin after the lil bean read his note

I swear that is really Chan’s son

Fite me if you think not

Please don’t I don’t know how to fight that well

CHANGBIN WAS A STELLAR STAR

I mean he always is

All of them always are

Okay but as I was saying

HE MADE THAT RAP FOR HIS DAD AND I STARTED CRYING SO HARD

AND THEN HE READ CHANS NOTE AND MY CRYING INTENSIFIED

AND THEN HE EXISTS AND I WAS HAVING A FULL EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN

Like he got so emotional and tbh I was surprised but then I realized that the card chan had given him must have meant more than the world to him

Cause didn’t they say Felix was the crybaby?

I didn’t see any tears from him

Speaking of Felix

Awww

He was all

“I’ll make this for changbin because even when he doesn’t have time he helps me with rapping”

Oh I’m soft

So soft

Soft to the touch

Jesus Christ seungmin is tall

I never really noticed

He is so cuteeeeee

lil babyyyyy

Hyunjin and that finger always make me sad yet proud cause I’ll always remember when changbin had to tell him to take his finger out his mouth

We got to see a lot of his selfies and omg they were cute

We got to see a LOOOTTTTT of photos and that made me happy ☺️☺️☺️

JISUNG HAD TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I STOPPED BREATHING FOR A MOMENT WHEN THEY SAID THAT

LIKE HE WORKED HIMSELF SO HARD HE COLLAPSED

IM ACTUALLY WORRIED LIKE IM REALLY WORRIED

😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

JISUNG IM REALLY WORRIED PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO WE WILL STILL BE PROUD OF YOU

please jisung don’t overexhaust yourself because you have so much to do😭😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO WHY DID CHANGBIN SOUND SICK

LIKE JYSNAKE I AINT PLAYING WITH YOU

like when he said seungmin had copied him his voice sounded like it has cracked or something like when people get sick

And I was like

Oh noo changbin don’t tell me you’re sick 😰😰😰😰

Guys I’m worried

woojin and his letter had me

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Plus he had hooked his brother up lol

He had him all the good face stuff

Plus his letter was so touching and it egged on my crying

Soooo...

Thanks woojin ☺️

Chan

OHHHHHH PAPA CHAN

My soul hurts

He is the leader we all need

He is just so...

A M A Z I N G

A S T O U N D I N G

L O Y A L

I love Chan like I would love to have him as a friend in real life because he cares so much about his family

Plus those jackets

When are they going on sale

How much can I sell my soul for to get one

I loved those jackets so much

Bro when that one tear dropped

Oh gosh

That one tear

He was trying his absolute best to not cry

Oh

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Long story short

I’m worried about our boys

I’m proud of our boys

I’m excited for our boys

Golly gosh gee I’m a proud stan

Love Lies - Chapter 1

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A/N: I posted this a while ago on AO3 but wanted to keep it on here as well (since I...already posted the prologue here lol). Anyway, I’m glad that this story has gotten a positive reaction, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Pairing: FrUk, Minor Pairings (NedPort, SweFin, DenNor, lightly salted RoChu)

Also Read Here: AO3

“Always remember Arthur- it’s better to not say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say towards other artists. It’s best not to give the paparazzi what they crave for- they sell off of drama, and one day it’ll come back and bite you in the ass when all they’ll ask about is your fight with the other person. You don’t want to get into one so early in your career.”

Those were the wise words of Yao during their first session of Yao coaching Arthur on how to present himself to the public.

There really is no difference in the reaction around you when you explicitly say you don’t like someone or you diss someone, whether your famous or not.

When you’re not famous, and you say something about someone in public, there’s the chance of someone you know that is outside of the people you’re telling this to hearing it and it becoming gossip amongst your circle of acquaintances and friends.

Same for when you’re famous, except the outsider you know is the paparazzi and entertainment reporters. And the gossip is not only within the industry- it belongs to the entire world who gives a shit about these things.

And, from the multiple line up of tabloids and magazines one would find at the local supermarket, it’s clear that there’s a lot of people who do give a shit.

After Arthur’s interview with Eduard that one fateful night, the gossip and talks already spread to most news outlets the next afternoon- when Arthur woke up back in his hotel bedroom.

Yao and Mei were sitting in the small living room area, waiting for Arthur to wake up, with Mei’s laptop propped on the coffee table with the interview on full screen. Yao, who’s face was almost as red as the shirt he was wearing, gave Arthur a long, well deserved lecture one what he has done and the implications of what he said to his career.

It’s different when you’re a DJ- you should be in solidarity with others due to the simple fact that your beginnings were harder for wanting an unconventional dream within the music industry. Not just anyone makes it big, and there is a reason there are fewer mainstream DJs compared to singers.

Mei  had her nose scrunched up slightly- something she does when she was also angry, but she wanted to hide it. After Yao’s scolding, Mei tried to be calm, and take a more gentler route.

“You’ll still get work, it’s just that now people will be pitting and comparing you and Jean against each other,” Mei said, tapping her slender fingers on her folded knee. Arthur, messed up from yesterday’s party, was laying back on the sofa, still trying to keep up with what Yao had just said. “And you’ll be getting more questions about him- something you always complained about.”

“And I don’t think you want to be known as that guy who starts fights,” Mei continued in the same tone, before Arthur cut her off with a groan.

“I didn't start a fight,” Arthur grumbled, covering his eyes with an arm, the light giving him a greater headache. “I just stated my opinion- it’s just an honest critique!”

“Yeah, well, your little ‘critique’ will get you into a fight,” Yao snapped, his brows furrowing deeper. He took a deep breath, as he gathered his loose long, chestnut hair and began to put it in a neat ponytail, saying in a cooler voice, “We all know this industry loves when people have a beef, and it would come to the point that people will only remember you because of the fights.”

“We’re not rappers- we’re not going to release diss tracks.”

“No, but people will eventually start being choosy with who they collaborate with. You’ll have artists that will only collaborate with you, and those who would choose Jean, giving you limited opportunities,” Mei replied in Yao’s place. “You might get the short end of the stick and end up with unpopular artists-”

“Look, I don’t care that much about who I collaborate with- as long as my work is original and sounds good, and isn’t some generic shit that the rich kids from Notting Hill are partying to.”

“That’s not the point,” Yao huffed, before shaking his head in defeat. “Aiyaa….Mei what can we do?”

“Do nothing- so I say shit about his music. So what? It’s not gonna end his or my career,” Arthur rolled his eyes, fixing the sofa cushion that was underneath his neck. “Now can you two please leave me alone? I don’t feel good and I have a headache and your voices are making it even worse…”

“This is why we tell you not to drink!” Yao exclaimed, immediately going into the kitchen, going to the cupboard to grab a pot. Arthur couldn’t help but feel happy when he saw the pot- he knew Yao was going to make him soup. Despite him not being overseen and sort of babied by Mei and Yao, he appreciates it greatly when they would make food for him. And at this moment, Yao’s infamous soup is all Arthur wants. “It’s like we’re taking care Siu Chun everytime we go on these trips with you…”

“Thanks Yao, you’re my favourite publicist,” Arthur said loud enough in a slurring and cracking voice, sounding like he was in the midst of dying. Which he partly was.

“I’m your only publicist,” he could hear Yao mumble back.

After that discussion (or moreso, a lecture), Arthur decided to turn to his phone to see what might have happened after that disastrous interview. Immediately, he saw Tino’s name on the screen, with a message accompanied with a bunch of worried face emojis.

Tino: Arthur! I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with Matthias! Are you okay? Did you see Weekly Entertainment??

Arthur immediately replied back to let his friend know that he was okay, he safely made it to his hotel room (somehow), and that he was going to check the interview right away.

Arthur didn’t look too bad in the video, but he could tell that he was far away from sober and sane during the interview with the swaying and the dazed look on his face. And honestly, he didn't say anything really bad- he just called Jean’s music generic, he didn’t even say that his music was shitty.

But, after he read the comments on the video, he started to feel bad, and Mei’s opinion started to sink in properly- he really doesn’t want his life to revolve around Jean.

And so the young Brit took to Twitter at the advice of Yao, ready to formerly write an explanation saying how he still respected Jean as a producer (even though it’s a lie, but nobody needs to know that), when he saw the issue trending on the homepage. Clicking it, one tweet popped up immediately, and caught Arthur’s attention- the one with little blue check and the accent egu in the username.

And it read simply:

The king is whining like a little prince. Sore loser much?

@JÉpine

Out went the civility and out went any way of saving a professional relationship. Arthur in turn lightly insulted him, but the light insults soon turned into them calling each other intentional insults through subtweeting. Notable insults include being a “weak motherfucker who wouldn’t dare fight Arthur because he might break a fingernail” and a “a whiny pussy who’s jealous that their music isn’t as good as they thought it was”.

Jean Epine’s true colours did show to the world during that Twitter dispute. So did Arthur’s.

What really took Mei by surprise, however, was that neither of their reputation was tarnished. Rather, people were still lining up to book Arthur for their festivals and his album sale actually increased suddenly. There were still plenty of fans backing both of them, and the biggest thing was, their dislike for one another just added on to their popularity.

This was the turning point in both of these young men music careers-their rivalry has been sealed for the public to enjoy.

And all of these events lead up to the present, years later.

***

“Just want to feel

A bit alive for a moment...”

Arthur glanced down to the array of slides and buttons, pushing and twisting them when appropriate, as João’s familiar voice sung the lyrics to the song from a playback recording. He could hear the crowd of people that surrounded the huge stage singing along, most bouncing up and down in a dance.

Lights flashed around from the stage where he was standing, and lit up the darkness that had started to consume the open arena.

He was happy to do a set again at Tomorrowland, one of the most popular music festivals in the world, even though at this point in his life. Boom, Belgium had always been one of his favourite places to go, and there was always had a vivid and excited crowd.

"Thank you, Belgium!” Arthur yelled into the microphone he had, and the crowd continued to scream and cheer, as he walked off to the side, feeling the adrenaline pulsing through his body starting to slow down.

He passed by the buzzing stage crew, who were scrambling to usher Arthur away from the stage and trying to find their next act.

“Good job, King! That was great,” one of the performers called to him and he smiled and thanked them, before joining most of the performers that stood idly behind a curtain, hanging out.

He was in a good mood as he talked to the others, and wanted to stay, but he got a message from Mei saying that she was at the back of the arena to pick him up. Arthur intentionally wanted to hang back to watch Matthias, Tino, and Berwald’s performance, but decided against it- it was already late, and he was starting to feel slightly tired.

Arthur got up from the chairs and started to walk out when he suddenly, he spotted a man walking towards his direction, to the waiting area. His smile faltered, and his eyebrows drew in slightly, as he kept his walk at a consistent pace. The man noticed Arthur as well, and a smile grew on his face.

“Jean.”

“Petit Prince,” Francis replied with his thick French accent, taking off the dark sunglasses that covered his eyes.

What kind of douche wears sunglasses at night? Arthur thought, though it did suit his face.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Arthur replied evenly, not wanting to show that that nickname that Jean gave to him bother him. “How was rehab? Are you still getting over your heroin addiction?”

Jean scoffed. “I have standards when it comes to drugs- heroin would ruin my perfectly beautiful arms.”

“There are different ways to take heroin,” Arthur rolled his eyes at Jean’s self compliment, while Jean smiled smugly.

“Yes, you seem to know a lot about it. Nice shirt by the way. Where did you get it from- Tesco?”

“You’re lacking in the creative insult department- you better step up your game,” Arthur replied. “Then again, what can I expect from a man who lacks creativity?”

Jean clicked his tongue, and looked ready to talk back when suddenly, Matthias came out of nowhere between them.

“Jean! ‘Sup!!” Matthias suddenly interrupted their bickering, grinning wildly as he hung off of Arthur’s shoulders. The rest of Arthur’s friends have actually maintained a good relationship with Jean, despite Arthur’s personal feud with him. It was often that they would even invite him to the parties they would host, though, in those situations, Arthur learns to tolerate the Frenchman. “You’re on next right? Good luck with your set! Me and the guys can’t stick around too long to watch- but we can catch up next time at the DJ Awards, alright?”

“Thank you. I can’t wait to see you guys in Amsterdam!” Jean smiled, as Matthias was called over further away by Tinos.

Arthur was about to leave as well, not wanting to give the Frenchman the respect to say farewell, but Jean spoke up.

“Goodluck, petit prince,” Jean said in a more soothing tone. He then said in a much slyer voice, “You’ll need it.”

"Suck my dick, frog,” Arthur grumbled, his hands clenched into fists, marching away as Jean entered the stage. Arthur frowned when he heard the eruption of screams from the crowd, and quickly went further backstage to meet up with Mei, who was waiting in a limousine to take him to his hotel.

It’s been about 8 years since that one fateful night. 8 years of Jean and Arthur going back and forth like this. And was Arthur tired of it?

Hell no. If anything, his burning passion to be the best - or, at least, better than Jean- burned just as brightly as it has since their first conversation.

Each year was an opportunity for him to one up Jean and maintain his rightful place as the top DJ. And each year, well- it alternated.

See, after that year where Jean Épine took first place at the DJ Top 100 Awards, Arthur continued to create music, as did Jean. The next year, Arthur managed to beat Jean by getting first place, whereas the Frenchman got 2nd. It was one, if not, the single best thing that happened to Arthur at that point. The EDM scene went crazy over it- KING, who some tabloids made it seem like he was all talk and no bite, managed to beat Jean Épine.

But that sense of achievement only lasted for a year. Because the year after Arthur’s incredible win, Jean Épine once again reclaimed his spot, with Arthur coming close behind.

And thus, their rivalry, specifically in music,become more and more intense, with subtle jabs here and there when reporters would ask them about each other. Arthur maintains that Jean Épine has no actual substance to his music, whereas Jean flaunts that Arthur may just be jealous, because his music also lacks a particular motif- love. Sometimes they do manage to make civil conversation if the situation calls for it, though it would still be sprinkled in insults, and if they were unlucky (as they are) it dissolves into an argument.

They didn’t necessarily win first place each year, sometimes a different DJ that was not involved in the same areas as either of them would take that spot. However, they did manage to get a higher spot than the other.

So far, Arthur has won first place 3 times, with Jean placing first twice. Arthur, obviously, is winning in this little game they found themselves in.

This year, if Jean managed to get first place, they would be tied. Something Arthur would like to avoid, in order to further crush Jean’s ego.

“Hey Artie, did you have fun?” Mei said in a motherly tone, a way of teasing his as Arthur slipped to the seat across of her. Arthur, however, was not in the mood for banter.

“I’m tired,” Arthur replied, as he leaned over to look out the window. “I can’t wait to go home.”

“I thought you liked coming here?”

“It was nice until…” He didn’t finish his sentence, knowing that it was the pettiest reason to want to leave a place.

“Jean?” Arthur’s eyes narrowed.

“You two are too old to keep this fight,” Mei continued, as she fidgeted with her phone.

“I’m not that old,” Arthur grumbled, now feeling a bit grumpy thanks to Mei.

“30? In the DJ world, I’d say it is,” Mei asked, though it was more so rhetorical. “Some tend to retire before that age and go into something else.”

“Those ones can’t handle the scene. And there are DJs that still play after they reach 40.”

“Yeah, but most go back to being more underground or they go to a genre that isn’t house,” Mei replied, finally taking her eyes off the screen, and looked directly at Arthur with a frown. “Which is what both you and Jean have been doing.”

“The day I retire is the day he dies,” Arthur muttered, returning his gaze back outside. “Can you play the radio?”

Mei did as she was told, flipping the channels around before landing on one playing popular music. There was this one song that started playing, a newer release that Arthur has heard once or twice before. What was it again...

“Did you hear about this guy?” Mei asked suddenly.

“What?” Arthur replied, not understanding what she meant.

“Lars Jansen,” Mei replied. “The guy who produced this song. He’s a DJ too.”

“Okay, and?” Arthur still didn’t understand why she thought he was relevant.

“He’s 19,” Mei shrugged. “What do you think of this song?”

Arthur listened to it for a moment, frowning slightly. “Reminds me a bit of Jean Épine’s songs...He’s 19?”

“I heard this from Eduard,” Mei continued. “He’s a rising producer this year. Kid’s from Amsterdam.”

“Why does it matter? He’s just a new kid- he might get written off in a few years.”

Mei raised an eyebrow, and Arthur read her thoughts. “You think this kid is going to knock me off the map?”

“Lukas even started to rebrand himself and his sound slightly, and Matthias and them continue to make music, but they no longer rank in the top 10. You might get a lower ranking this year,” Mei replied, in a more softer tone. “I’m just saying- there’s going to be newer DJs rising up. You two should stop wasting energy fighting like this. It’s like your rivalry is the only thing that’s keeping you in the public eye. If you want to keep it mainstream, you’re going to have to change up your music to be like Jean-”

“I’m not doing that,” Arthur cut her off in a louder voice. “And I don’t care about the popularity! I just want to beat his arrogant ass.”

“You say that,” Mei sighed. “But trust me, when you stop being as famous as you are now, you’re going to have a hard time adjusting.”

“Like that'll ever happen,” Arthur mumbled, allowing himself to sink into the leather seats, watching the building pass by.

Maybe Arthur should consider this option of rebranding himself. He wasn’t going to be any younger, and the older he got, although he maintains a famous, close to veteran status, the time where his music might fall out of popular demands is likely. Sounds are changing with the times, and now Arthur should try to stray away from his roots and go towards the sound that is well received nowadays.

Giving up his branding is rough, moreso for personal reasons. He is known for that punk mixed with electro sound and image- it symbolised his own emergence from a punk band to electronic music, by taking the best of both sounds and blending it beautifully. His lyrics had a tinge of angst and anger found in punk, meant to make the audience be in tune with their harshest emotions- he wasn’t into this chilling and relaxing, ‘oh please be with me in my bed, I miss you boo hoo’ shit.

Maybe it was time to rebrand.

Maybe.

***

They need to really stop paparazzi from getting in here , Arthur thought as he walked behind the rails leading into the backstage of the arena, smiling as the flashes of the cameras nearly blinded him.

It was now October and Arthur was currently in Amsterdam, which can only mean one thing: tonight was the awaited DJ Top 100 Awards.

The year had gone extremely well for him- with his newest album peaking the charts for a good few weeks, with the songs still playing on the radio till that month.

Arthur was expected to score quite high on the list- even hitting number one- however, ironically once again, so did Jean Épine. It was a close call really- a lot of people wasn’t sure who would win, but it was guaranteed either of them will get the number one spot.

I’m going to beat him, Arthur thought as he walked down the carpet, entering through the set of doors backstage to where the performers were hiding away.

As Matthew and Tino chattered with interviewers that stopped them inside, the Brit noticed long blond hair flowing from the corner of his eyes as they entered through the door. He could hear some people screaming outside the person’s name, and Arthur tried not to let his smile turn into a frown.

“Jean Épine!” One of the interviewers called as he politely smiled and talked to them. Arthur knew he was staring for far too long, and started to shuffle away, when he saw a familiar face almost intervening his step.

“King! How about a pre-show interview?”

“What happened to saying ‘hello’?” Arthur asked Eduard with a smile.

“Nah, we’re tight, we don’t need to say that,” Eduard replied with a sly smile, a microphone in hand, and his usual cameramen standing nearby. “Shall we start?”

“Alright, as long as you don’t interview me at the after party,” Arthur said, as Eduard laughed, and they started the interview. The usual questions as usual, until Eduard asked this question, which Arthur didn’t know how to answer.

“So, this year we have a newcomer that a lot of people say might actually beat you two,” Eduard started, and there was a subtle intent in his voice. “Lars Jansen. Now, he has said previously that he was a fan of your work while he was trying to figure out his own sound, but he also says that Jean Épine was also a source of inspiration. Do you think that, considering how different your sounds are, Lars Jansen would be a worthy adversary ?”

This kid again? Arthur casually thought after he gave some motivational answer along the lines of “Of course, I’ve heard his music and he does stand a chance!” as he caught up with Matthias, as they start to go into the auditorium again.

For some godforsaken reason, Arthur was seated right next to Jean Épine in the audience. He had specifically requested to sit in between Lukas and Tino, though they must have ignored it in favour for this seating, letting his other side open for Matthias.

There must be cameras on us, Arthur figured, scanning and noticed a camera perched so that it could nicely capture their section.

“Looks like we’re sitting together, prince,” Francis said from his seat as Arthur started to sit down beside him. He leaned closer, and Arthur could smell his cologne, which was mixed with the smell of tobacco. It wasn’t a bad smell- Arthur just didn’t like that he liked how Jean smelled. “I didn’t know you wanted to sit next to me all this time.”

“I don’t want to,” Arthur snapped. “Why would I want to sit with a pervert like you?”

“You always call me a pervert, but I don’t understand why,” Jean sighed. “I just love love. Why can’t we just be friends and get along, cher?”

“I’m not one of your little fuckbuddies, Jean,” Arthur replied, finally making eye contact with him. He could see the amusement in Jean’s attractive blue eyes, which made him slightly more agitated. “And I’d rather get hit by a car than be your friend.”

“That’s extreme,” Jean smirked, still leaning too close than necessary to Arthur. The lights on the stage started to flash slightly- a sign for the attendants to take their seats. “Looks like they’re going to start. I can’t wait to beat you.”

“They say that I have a good chance of getting top of the list,” Arthur sighed, pretending to be calm and not caring that much. Slight boredom crept as Matthias left Arthur’s side to bug Lukas when he thought. If he was going to sit beside Jean motherfucking Épine, he might as well talk to him. It can help him recharge without losing his egde.

“Hey, did they ask you about Lars Jansen?” Arthur suddenly asked, thinking back to the interview question he got from Eduard.

“Yeah, they asked about whether I was worried he’d beat me,” Jean replied, a perfect eyebrow raised. “Though, I said I only care about our little competition.”

“It won’t be a competition if I win tonight,” Arthur scoffed, as the hosts for the event appeared to on the stage, and the event started.

The night progressed and finally, it was time to announce the top 10 DJs of the year. The familiar screens lit up and the lights started to dim slightly.

“Number 3...KING.”

“Number 2...Jean Épine.”

“Wait...that means,” Arthur mumbled wide eyed, completely taken by surprise at his ranking for two reasons. The first, which wasn’t too devastating, is that Jean Épine beat him this year. Which isn’t too bad- they were technically tied in this case. The second, which was much more of a big deal, was the fact that neither him or Jean snagged first place.

He glanced over to Jean, who had a mixture of content, but mild confusion, on his face. Mei guaranteed that spot would be either of theirs...so why did they place second and third?

“Ladies and gentlemen, the world’s number one DJ is…” the host opened the envelope once again. A pause, and the leaned into the mic.

“ Lars Jansen! ”

Arthur didn’t know what to do. And neither did Jean Épine, actually. Neither of them really cheered, instead opting to simply clap to be polite.

Now this took them by surprise.

They watched as a tall man walk down the catwalk, wearing stylish clothings as you would expect Jean to wear, with his gelled up blond hair kept up like Matthias to reveal an incredibly handsome, yet stoic, face. It was hard to believe the this person was still considered a teenager- he wasn’t awkward looking and well built, and he didn’t have a single mark or pimple on his white skin.

He spoke into the mic to say thank you to everyone, and Arthur was taken aback by how deep his voice was, which carried a Dutch accent that added a control to his voice.

Arthur didn’t know what to say to this spectacle that he was witnessing. Neither could Jean, evidently, because throughout the post op and the drive down to a fellow DJ’s mansion that was located in the city, they both didn’t talk or argue (to everyone in the limo’s relief) as much as they would.

They weren’t the only ones surprised- most of the people who greeted them at the party (all around his age and were considered to be nearing veteran stardom as well) made a comment about how a young boy like Lars Jansen beat both of them.

Arthur and Jean were currently sitting on the bar stools at the island in the kitchen, across of Tino and Lukas who sat opposite to them. Pre downloaded songs shuffled through the background, and everyone around them were either guzzling down beers, snorting lines on any surface, skinny dipping in the swimming pool outside, or doing a combination of all three. Arthur decided to not deep dive into the scene right away- everytime he does, he gets wasted too early and gets into some shit- and waited as Berwald tries to find some decent beer.

Lukas was mindful not to bring up Lars at all during their conversation, and it was starting to be a complaining circle of how little sleep they receive, when Matthias stumbled towards them, cackling at his phone.

“Bros, you two are definitely not gonna like this,” Matthias laughed as he nudged his phone towards Arthur, as Jean leaned over his shoulder to peer at the screen. It was originally a live post show interview that occurred inside of the arena, and lo and behold, it was by everyone’s favourite reporter.

“What do you think about placing above both KING and Jean Épine whom you've always looked up to? The world is amazed that someone as young as you was able to dethrone two of very popular veterans, and a lot were surprised at that feat. Do you, yourself, find it surprising that you beat them?”

Lars, with his piercing dark blue eyes, held eye contact with Eduard, and Arthur could tell there was a cocky smirk playing on his lips. “I really respect both of them and I’m happy that I won, but I’m no surprised that I beat them. At this point, their music and sound doesn’t resonate with the EDM crowd as it once did, and, you know, times are changing and people are liking different things. As they say, out with the old and in with the new, and right now their old sound isn’t as popular as it once was. It’s mostly popular with people who are their age- old people, maybe- but not for the new generation of EDM listeners.”

Arthur heard Jean audibly gasp (but only when he implied to be old), and he himself was at a lost at words at how direct Lars’ answer was. What happened to respecting your elders?

“Kid’s got guts to say that,” Lukas noted as he took a sip from his beer. Berwald slid two bottles towards Arthur and Jean as he sat on the stool beside Tino, nodding along.

“A lot of the newer DJs are starting to get feisty with each other,” Tino replied, taking a nacho from the platter. “You know, it’s not like how it used to be- everyone used to keep it behind the scenes.”

“These two really helped start the whole public beef thing in the EDM scene,” Matthias shrugged towards Arthur and Jean, and Arthur threw a look of annoyance. “You two would cuss each other out publicly, and would’ve threw hands if Jean wasn’t so civil.”

Arthur just made a slight grunt and starting to down the drink. Jean made a hum in agreement, while taking a quick sip.

“Now you guys can join the underground squad,” Matthias continued, reaching out for another bottle. He took his bottle opener keychain and popped it open, the white foam spilling over the tip down the neck. “Just like the rest of us here.”

“What do you mean?” Jean spoke up.

“C’mon Jean, you know what I mean,” Matthew laughed, his smile a bit wicked. “You guys won’t be invited to so many popular events, and if you do, you won’t be headlining compared to the popular ones. Less paparazzi hounding you down, which is nice, but less attention means less fans and smaller concerts. Partying will be the same, but don’t expect the famous bitches to be there- they’d rather be with someone relevant. It’ll be just like the good old times before you made it mainstream-”

“You’ll be one of those people that are known,” Lukas said, lifting Matthias bottle so that it was in his mouth, to shut him up. “And now you’re rich, but you’re just not relevant. You’ll be considered old school.”

“If the drugs and alcohol won’t force you to retire, this will,” Tino said cynically, though he had his usual upbeat voice. “Most people do it and go back to playing sets at the club sometimes.”

“You’ll definitely miss the rush of being famous,” Matthias mumbled, and if the gloominess of the conversation hasn’t fallen on them yet, it has now. The Aftermath had fell off from the public eye, and while Lukas has a grip on the fame, it was only a matter of time before he would have to start to go underground.

They were all older though, nearing their late 30s. Jean and Arthur were still in their early 30s, with Arthur turning 30 that April. He was quite young to be written off from the media as out of touch with the younger crowd, yet, he did break out into the mainstream early on in his life. It’s been more than a decade since he has- was he really ready to let go of being relevant.

The idea of ending up like Matthias was unpleasant. Arthur wasn’t sure how to word it exactly, but he knows he hasn’t seen them at all during the big events yearly events DJs would be invited to, and their not as hyped up in popular media as they once were, much less in the EDM scene. There were just a distant memory, a name dropped here and there on radios during their ‘Throwback Thursday’ days.

Nowadays, due to not being as busy as they once were, Arthur noticed that Matthias had started to find other ways to feel high and satisfied with his life - mostly through drugs and alcohol- much more than he did before, but he couldn’t really judge him. After all, Arthur isn’t exactly clean himself.

“Pass me another one,” Jean demanded in a louder tone, his eyebrows pulled in, as if he was having the same internal talk with himself as Arthur.

“Same,” Arthur said immediately and Berwald didn’t hesitate to silently stand up and grab them their drinks.

“Don’t look so gloomy guys!” Tino said, his voice chipper. “This is a party! Let’s have some fun and do some shots!”

“Fuck yeah! Who wants some fucking tequila?!” Matthias suddenly exclaimed, standing up, and started to chant drunkenly ‘Tequila! Tequila! Tequila!”

“Let’s not dwell on this any long, mon prince,” Jean sighed whimsically, putting an arm on  Arthur’s backrest, brushing against his back amicably. Maybe it was the warm buzzing feeling Arthur had started to feel after his first drink, but for once, Arthur didn’t feel the need to tell Jean off. If anything, he leaned back deeper into the arm, and a flicker of appreciation lit in him. “Let us drink the night away.”

“What else can we do,” Arthur replied as whimsically as Jean had, and downed the rest of his beer, as Matthias lined the glass shots in front of them.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻Now say the fuck as much as you want now lol 😂

You Bet Your Ass I’m going to say exactly 72 things about myself. Yes, I counted. Although I’m bad at math so I might be wrong.

Just a bunch of bullshit under the cut I guess? (I don't have 72 stories to conjure up lmao)

1. I get angry when people make me do things when I could be taking a nap2. Apparently I'm scary when this happens3. Y'know when Jyushi does those noodle arms? I can Do That4. That's part of the reason why I got the nickname "Noodles" in elementary school5. But do not be fooled, these long skinny arms can do 100 push-ups6. The simple ones at the knee, not the feet7. Speaking of athletic stuff, I was known for being pretty good at basketball in high school8. Probably because for the three years prior to high school my dad and I would shoot hoops for about an hour every day9. Well, he would shoot hoops for an hour. I would shoot for 30 minutes. Dude had stamina10. He even taught me trick shots! At one point I got to be pretty good at shooting while spinning mid-jump11. Despite this, I've only ever played one actual game of basketball in my life12. It wasn't even a real game, it was like a fundraiser-type deal where the seniors had to do audience requests while we were playing13. At least it was better than what the seniors my sophomore year did. Donkey basketball. Poop Everywhere.14. One year my dad participated in the school's alumni basketball game15. I don't think the other guys on his team took him seriously because he was way older than the rest of them16. He sure showed them B)17. Because of this, my history teacher told me he was scared of my dad. "Did you see your dad's calves during that basketball game?! They were huge!"18. Anyway, I'm talking way too much about my dad and basketball (but to be fair, they are both very good)19. Even though I used to like reading a lot as a kid, I pretty much dislike it now20. I always find myself re-reading sentences over and over again21. Barely even reading a chapter makes me sleepy22. And sometimes it can be just so... boring.23. I don't even read that much fanfiction, so chances are if I read someone's stuff, I Really Really Like It24. However, the Artemis Fowl series is the greatest piece of literature literally ever and is always worth a re-read, my dislike of reading be damned25. The first fandom I drew anything for was InvaderZIM26. But the first fandom I actively participated in was The Lorax fandom... Or I guess, the Onceler fandom.27. It was also my first tumblr fandom, so all that stuff is still on this blog28. Deep, deep, deep on this blog29. At that point in time my URL was turtlescience--because I like turtles a lot!30. I have approximately 2 shrines in my room made out of stuffed turtles and turtle statues that friends and family have bought for me over the years31. And keep buying for me32. Seriously, I don't need any more, how do I tell them to stop33. I always bring my stuffed turtle named Tortellino wherever I'm going to sleep, though34. He's the perfect size and shape for hugging! I wish I could have him with me all the time35. Before Tortellino, I had a smaller turtle named Teewee, short for Turtly-Wurtly36. Not as great a hugger, but it had more sentimental value because I stole it got it from my mom (she didn't even realize that it used to be hers)37. Sometimes I wish I could just, like. Buy a bunch of toys from the toy aisle38. Oh shit, wait39. Where the FUCK did I put my nerf sword??40. Shit.41. I also have a huge box full of nerf guns somewhere at home42. I got all of them at Goodwill on my birthday a few years ago43. I need to find those too, shit44. I think my dad actually gave one of the biggest ones to one of my second cousins like Right In Front Of My Eyes45. That's kind of fucked up, right? Like, sure, I haven't played with them in like 3 years, but I didn't say I was done with them46. Although if I said anything about it, I would have looked like a spoiled child, and that's probably bad47. On the topic of toys, the basement of my parents' house is absolutely filled to the brim with toy cars48. My dad is a collector and used to sell them on summer weekends49. When I was little, I was forced to go with him and my mom to toy shows and car shows50. It was Boring. And. Hot. As. Hell.51. My sister used to go with us too but then grew old enough to stay home by herself52. But apparently not old enough to take care of me. Hecker.53. Real talk tho? My sister is the baes knaes54. You know the hijab emoji? She made the initial design for the pitch for that, and she ended up in a lot of news articles!! So cool!!55. Making emojis is part of her job kinda, so she made quite a few of the designs you see on your phone56. And she also makes book covers for short stories! She even got an award for one of them57. She's pretty much the reason that I changed my second major from Film to Graphic Design. She Opened My Eyes58. And THANK GOD I changed my major from Film. I've only taken one class and it is literally the most stressful thing ever59. I only thought I could do Film because I took a video editing class once and it was really fun matching the video to the music60. Coming up with an idea to execute is STRESSFUL, finding actors is STRESSFUL, and using the camera is STRESSFUL61. Actually in that video editing class, I did end up breaking the only camera we had, so I guess that was kind of foreshadowing in hindsight62. Back to my sister, she's actually my best friend and also the yin to my yang63. She's the tsukkomi and I'm the boke. Together we are the perfect comedy duo64. However, despite being on the same wavelength a majority of the time and also both of us being artists/writers, for some reason we can never collaborate on anything65. We've come up with a lot of really cool story ideas, but for some reason we never execute them66. We can't even collaborate on one picture lmao67. Wanna hear one of the best ideas we've had? Four words. Murder Mystery Dating Sim. Shit, dude.68. I'm a little worried about people stealing our idea, but I doubt anyone would read this far so I think it's fine69. (Hehe) My sister also introduced me to our Hella Rad Buddy, Chavez. Probably the most bullied person on the planet. A true Karamatsu.70. Before I even met Chavez, my sister would tell me stories about her and talk about how we're so similar71. And yeah, we're pretty much the same person, the only difference being that she is like, SUPER thirsty for Will Graham72. Anyway, she brings an element to our group (not sure what. victim?) that makes us the perfect comedy trio known as Reservematsu The Stankhouse, and we’re gonna take the world by storm

can u write an essay on kihyun now please don't just saw beat root thanks QUEEN uwu

kihyun’s personality is so funny and contradictory to me lmao like he has such a big personality and um wow i just got distracted bc i put on drew barrymore by sza and it was playing at half speed bc i just played the COME GET YALL JUICE vine at half speed but anyways

first and foremost i think kihyun is very Capable like kihyun is like. so good at being an adult like he just knows how to do everything it’s so weird it’s like he was born just Knowin. like he’s just so confident and he’s good at speaking most of the time and like he said he would go to vocal lessons while working two jobs that weren’t even close to each other like he’d have to take the train and he’s so determined even going to school like he’s been doing while promoting as an idol like he just has a really type a personality and he wants to be good at everything and he has the drive to achieve that as much as any human can it’s very respectable and imo a very attractive quality like i feel like if i asked him how to do anything he’d know for some reason

he’s very charming and he knows it and sometimes it’s greasy LMAO like when they had to do the pick up lines in that video and mx were dying in the bg but it’s very effective i think that’s really good for networking etc and he’s so friendly to other ppl he acts like he already knows them but he isn’t like…overstepping boundaries which is imo the way to become friends with someone wh said one time that to get close with ppl you just have to act close i think and that’s what kihyun does he seems very sociable and friendly and easy to talk to like he makes an effort to keep the conversation going and get on the speaker’s level/help them understand the topic 

tying in with him being rly capable he’s so good at cleaning n cooking like why is he so damn responsible lmao share some of those skills w/ me…wtf…but like wow that’s rly a whole adult i bet he even does his taxes on time but he takes his work so seriously and like he’s not even a dancer but he puts so much focus n energy into dance and it shows he’s so impressive…i…i hate it

so! i think what makes ppl misunderstand kihyun is he has this weird like…sharp outside/soft inside thing going on…coughs tsundere   but by that i mean  he’s not Genuinely mean   but he plays along well with others esp 93 line they have a very cozy n roasty dynamic going on and he’s quick to tease others in a friendly way unfortunately ppl take that as ONE personality archetype the “savage” just like shakespeare invented and that ONE personality trait supercedes ALL OTHERS n suddenly kihyun hates everyone like false…hello he’s just bein a scorpio (he’s born n like the First day of saggitarius but he himself has said he’s a scorpio n the time he was born rly indicates that so im just going with scorpio these   are the Facts) he ALSO…isn’t very comfortable with “mushy” stuff he’s fine giving compliments but when they get into genuine emotional things it’s not that he gets weirded out  it’s more like   it’s okay until He has to get mushy abt his own feelings at least from what i noticed

i was actually surprised bc kihyun is somewhat easily embarrassed and i didn’t expect him to be so nurturing on an emotional level like hugging changkyun when he cried, he sympathy cries w/ wonho lmao, comforting wonho when he cried during that one v live. i thought he’d be more of a supportive but awkward type in that situation but he actually empathizes really well. that’s why i think kihyun’s personality is so like  contrary there’s all these traits that seem to be the opposite of each other but melt together just fine in his personality

but he actually has a very nourishing presence he just seems to have like a different rule for himself and he doesn’t like to get all deep or w/e that’s so scorpio of him…it embarrasses him lol he doesn’t like emotional vulnerability if he thinks it opens him up in a negative way but here he goes again with the contradictions- he’s emotionally open with children and pets. he’s amazing with children and animals n feels a lot of love n affection towards them as well as the members but honestly i’ve practically raised my little brother from infancy to like four years old and i have very high standards for child care but kihyun takes such pride in his work as always n he luvs the Babies so he is very mm meticulous abt it. i got stressed when the kid’s heads weren’t supports while getting sleepy in their chairs n then the moment i got stressed kihyun’s hand wld fly out to support their heads and he held them and esp the sick babie :(( even when he cried kihyun didn’t get panicked as many ppl too and hand him off to one of the more experienced ladies he comforted the babie n held it n also

during mxray season 2 when they met the kids again he got all worried abt i cant remember which kid it was…jongwon! i think he was worried shownu wld hurt him by accident in the bounce house thingie lmao which i was worried abt too so he was like be gentler and my heart…she soared he rly cares abt them :(( in a very genuine way n also! at the batting cages v live there were kitties and he, wonho, and ck were worried abt them getting hurt. he’s just a very caring n loving person and he does engage in a lot of skinship like they said on the psychology analysis part of mxray but i think rather than physical affection he shows love through actions like waking the members up and finding stuff for wonho etc ordering the other members around n leading them in the right direction he definitely has a BIG leadership quality n a desire to be in control but he doesn’t let himself like usurp shownu’s position lmao he just relishes the times when he gets power

i always say it’s more like shownu, minhyuk, and kihyun are three coleaders and i think they all compliment each other extremely well and kihyun is a rly good mc esp in things like mon happy radio he and minhyuk are rly entertaining and work together really well which is rly cool

he rly rly loves the members in a very fond way they make him smile a lot and what i think is so funny is i think kihyun originally has more of a tendency in situations like that there’s something historically in comedy called a “straight man” (i know) where someone else acts like an idiot and this person basically doesnt find it amusing n acts serious or upset kasjfsf and i thought kihyun wld be like that but i think mx just has such a goofy energy and kihyun often engages in the goofiness but that seems to me like something that probably changed when he met the boys i can’t seem him being like that arnd other ppl but i think he’s very fond of their dynamic and embraces it now like he laughs in this Specific way when the members all get Ridiculous like he’s in fond disbelief like when they kept singing the UFC song!!! in no exit like he’s lovingly saying “these idiots” in his head it’s really cute tbh he’s just very often Fondly Exasperated like when mh ate the whipped cream at the end of that one vid/when ck ate food of the plates from other ppl in mxray you can just tell he has so much love for his members 

as for his relationship with 93 line that’s just pure love n friendship to the point of comfortably making fun of each other n i really hate when ppl act like it’s genuine hatred bc you can’t make jokes like that with people if you genuinely dislike them they’re just all three very comfortable with and fond of each others and build off each other very well comedically and the teams switch up as to who is making fun of who and like?? if they rly hated each other things like mon happy radio with mh and kh and the times when mh was absent and hw was the replacement would be possible. they get along fine for that and it’s like an HOUR long of just them together and they make jokes and they compliment each other like anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows they don’t actually hate each other but :) had 2 say that

CAPABILITY ASIDE kihyun has these moments of hilarious like…airheadedness   as demonstrated in aleena’s amazing gifset of kihyun being dumb. he’s so smart but he just lapses on the most ridiculous things aksjfasf it’s so funny  kihyun, staring at a seatbelt: does this go around my neck   is this the Neck Belt  Oh..  just youthful naivete which the other members bring up sometimes n his face when they got their first win :(( cld it be…kihyun is a soft babie!! it Cld !! :D

also vocal wise i’m not a Professional or anything but he’s rly one of the best vocals in kpop like breath support and not singing with strained notes and vocal agility he’s just so good he and shownu are actually different imo than a lot of kpop vocals who just sing n half of it’s like  rhythmic yelling lmao like he and shownu can both sing BALLADS well and with CONTROL they’re so incredible and kihyun has a pretty wide range imo it’s very healthy singing with lots of support 

anyways i wrote WAY more than i thought i was gonna be able to abt him there’s deadass like 1.7k words right here lmao like yall readin this? eyes emoji anyways i hope this makes some sense it’s 4 am…anyways i think kihyun’s personality is fascinating and i feel like i have quite a few personality traits in common with him but also i wanna arm wrestle him so damn bad im not even reading back through this and checking it’s too much LMAO