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hockey-prose · 4 years

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Bitty Breaks the Internet

Summary: The AC in Jack and Bitty’s apartment is broken. So what better way to beat the heat than go out on the water? Bitty wears a new swimsuit, Jack takes his picture, and the picture ends up online. (Cross posted to AO3.)

It all started with that blasted weather. Simply put, it was stifling. Bitty was used to dry Southern summers and slight humidity. But he wasn’t prepared for this years incredibly humid Eastern summer. It made it worse that the AC in his and Jack’s apartment was broken and wouldn’t be fixed until next week.

So, while the two of them were boiling in their apartment, Bitty got a text from his mama.

Mama: Dicky, why don’t y’all just rent a boat and stay near the water for a few days?

That’s a great idea! Thanks Mama!

“Jack, honey,” Bitty said, adopting his extra thick accent. He knew it meant Jack would give him anything he wanted because he was sweet on his Southern side.

“Yeah, bud? What’s up?”

Bitty sat up, allowing the washcloth soaked in ice water to fall to his lap. He looked to his fiancé across the couch from him. It was so hot that the only parts of them that had been touching were their feet and ankles. There were at least 10 fans angled towards them.

“How about we rent a boat for the weekend? It’s the off season for you, and my deadline isn’t until next week.”

Jack lowered his phone, revealing the hair plastered to his forehead. Bitty’s heart squeezed with love for his man.

“I don’t know how to drive a boat.”

Bitty smacked Jack gently on the thigh.

“I do, honey! I spent I don’t know how many hours on boats in Georgia. Good Lord, the sunburns I’ve gotten. The point is that I know how to drive and I could teach you.”

“Do we want to invite other people or just have it be us?”

Bitty thought. As much as he loved every one of their shared friends, it would be nice to be just the two of them. Quiet.

“I think just us for this first time would be nice. Just the two of us?”

Bitty heaved himself forward to slide between Jack’s open legs. Jack’s eyes widened, but he covered Bitty’s hands where he’d placed them on his chest. Jack hummed.

“I like the sound of that. Want me to see if I can find any boat rental places?”

“How about we look together, huh handsome?”

The week came and went, and on Friday afternoon, Jack and Bitty took to the water at Providence Marina. Turns out, Marty had a boat docked there and gave Jack the keys to use it. The cooler that was clutched in each of their hands contained beer, soda, chips, sandwich fixings, fruit, and lemon blueberry mini pies.

After everything had been situated on the boat, and they’d had an awkward conversation with one of Marty’s dock neighbors, Bitty pulled them out to sea. They didn’t go very far, just out of view of the docks, and dropped the anchor.

Bitty turned on his portable speaker to some soft pop music, stripped off his clothes, and began making house on the boat. He could hear Jack snapping pictures with his camera. A quick look revealed that the subject was him.

“Well, now, Mr. Zimmermann. Who said you could take pictures of me just before I was about to fix you a sandwich,” Bitty sassed, planting his hands on his hips.

Jack took the camera away from his face, a love struck smile on his lips. He was also shirtless, and had laid himself on the deck of the boat to get a good angle.

“Sorry, Bits, you’re just so gorgeous I couldn’t help it. That swim suit is definitely doing you a favor.”

Bitty felt his cheeks warm, and a smile cross his own mouth. He’d bought the suit as soon as the boat was secured. It was almost a Speedo with just a bit more length. The print on them was white with light and dark blue sail boats.

“Oh hush now.”

A click.

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann!”

The afternoon passed with Bitty alternating between sunning himself on the deck and taking dips in the water. Jack kept mostly on the boat, occasionally dipping his legs in when Bitty swam. By the time they pulled into the dock, his shoulders were bright pink and he winced when he lifted the cooler.

“I told you to put on some more sunscreen, honey. There’s some aloe at home, but it’s gonna take more than that.”

“Bits, bud, don’t feel too bad. I’ll wear sunscreen tomorrow and bring a shirt too.”

“You still want to go out tomorrow?”

The couple buckled themselves into Jack’s car.

“Of course, Bits. You looked like you were loving it out there. As long as it makes you happy.”

Bitty leaned across the center console and planted a kiss on the underside of Jack’s jaw.

“You’re so sweet, honey. As long as you’re up for it.”

By the end of the weekend, Jack had taken over 100 pictures. At least 50 of them were Bitty. There was a handful of scenery, other boats and the ocean. And then a few were of the two of them. One for each day. They had gotten progressively pinker as the days went on.

Sunday night, the couple went to a nice seafood just off the water before heading home to fall into bed for a restful night sleep.

Wednesday rolled around quietly, and Bitty woke to about a thousand notifications on his phone. Some were texts. Some were notifications on Twitter. By far the most notifications came from Instagram. Even though he’d made an account, Bitty barely posted to Instagram except to promote his cookbook.

Deciding to look at the texts first, he was greeted with no context chirps from his Samwell friends. All of them were about him in a swimsuit?

What?

Bitty continued to flick through his messages. There were individual messages from everyone on his former team, but also in the big “Haus 4.0” group chat.

Holster (Adam Birkholtz): dUDE BITTY MY GOD HOW HAVE YOU STAYED SO HOT????

Ransom (Justin Oluransi): Jack’s lucky that nobody saw your ass or the internet would be broken brah

Lardo (Larissa Duan): bro, bitty DID break the internet have you seen his insta and twitter??

Shitty (BS Knight): I swear on the gods above if Bitty was not single and I was not straight, I would sweep him off his feet

Nursey (Derek Nurse): chill. was truly a kim k moment for Bitty

Dex (Will Pointdexter): Love the confidence my dude. Was really a monumental picture tbh

Honey 💞: Can we not talk about Bitty like a piece of meat?

ERB: What on earth are y’all talking about?

Lardo (Larissa Duan): bits, you gotta check jacks insta first before you come in here and ask questions

So that’s exactly what Bitty did. Goodness knows where Jack was because he was not currently in bed with him. The last text he sent was at 8:45 am and it was now 9.

Instagram proved to be a tough navigator. Not because Bitty was media illiterate, but because the sheer amount of new followers he got prevented the app from running properly. After three app crashes, Bitty grew frustrated. He logged out of his public account and into his private one.

Once on his smaller scale Instagram, he searched Jack’s name. The most recent post was of their weekend relaxation trip. It was one of those collections of images. The first three were of the ocean, some seagulls, and the view from the front of Marty’s ship. The next six were of Bitty and Jack in various stages of couple poses. Somehow Jack had even managed to capture Bitty feeding him some grapes. But the last image was what set a fire under Bitty.

The picture was of that first day. Bitty was wearing his, now scandalous in his eyes, swim suit. His sunglasses were perched on the edge of his nose. You could see the heat he held in his eyes for Jack, who had been behind the camera. Admittedly, Bitty had not been thinking of his body image at the time of wearing that swimsuit. But now that he had attracted so much attention to himself due to his body, he figured a once over couldn’t hurt.

The Bitty in the picture had a firm stomach, no defined abs to speak of. What was the need for them? He was perfectly healthy. The cut of the swimsuit allowed the camera to see the faint lines that traveled down from Bitty’s hips past the line of his swimsuit. His hair was shining in the sun. The skin of the Bitty in the picture looked a little pale, but he had no qualms otherwise.

He looked good.

Putting the praise of his body aside, Bitty knew he needed to find Jack.

ERB: Thank y’all for your kind words. It means the world to me. Now I have to find Jack and have a word with him

Shitty (BS Knight): AAH SHIT JACKS IN TROUBLE WITH BITTY AHAHAHAHA

Lardo (Larissa Duan): pls don’t kill jack

Bitty locked his phone and went out into the living room. No Jack. The entire open concept apartment was empty. Bitty knew the bathrooms and home office were empty. The doors always stayed open unless there was someone in there.

As Bitty pondered how to find his fiancé, the door unlocked with a small click. Jack emerged with several bags of groceries in hand. Bitty assumed position with his fists on his hips, but this time around, it was not nearly as tempting.

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann.”

“Bits! Uh, hey.”

Bitty tapped a foot on the floor.

“Euh, I didn’t know that post would go viral. I tried to soften the blow by bringing home everything you’d need to stress bake.”

Bitty came forward, taking the bags from Jack and going to the kitchen.

“Crisse,” Jack muttered before following Bitty.

“Bittle? I’m really sorry.”

“I know,” Bitty replied, his tone light. “I’m not mad, Jack. I only wish you’d told me you were going to post that where my mother could see it.”

Jack made a groan of displeasure as he approached Bitty from behind. Firm, warm hands pressed themselves into Bitty’s hips.

“Sorry, Bits.”

“Stop apologizing, honey! I’m just gonna have to field a call from my mama. I don’t think this’ll be worse than the cup, but I guarantee my family will chirp her for the rest of time.”

Jack buried his nose in the crook between Bitty’s neck and shoulder.

“George said the PR was good. We didn’t really need any more positive additions, but it doesn’t hurt.”

“Well I certainly hope not,” Bitty said with a scoff. “You didn’t post a picture of me nearly naked on the Internet for nothing!”

Jack laughed, and Bitty followed not long after. Together the couple baked breakfast pastries and Bitty got his own revenge.

Jack’s picture was also shirtless, but he was wearing his sweatpants reserved for lounging at home. His arms and stomach were so much more than Bitty’s. He had a workout routine to keep up with.

Once again, the Internet broke because of Eric Richard Bittle.

#omgcp #zimbits #check please #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #lardo duan #shitty knight #adam holster birkholtz #justin ransom oluransi #omgcheckplease #eric richard bittle #jack laurent zimmermann #omgcp fanfic #omgcp fanfiction #check please!#my fic

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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years

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i feel like the younger jc that people fixate on (much like how ppl fixate on pre sunshot era in general lol) can probably be simplified and written off as a tsundere style character which people are very into and very into uwu-ing. like the whole being gruff and mean but 'twin prides of yunmeng!!11!!' even if his personality later on leans more into the tsun tsun and entirely lacks the dere dere lmfao

(tsun tsun and lack of dere dere dfgdfgdfgdfgfdgfdgfddg golden)

IMO, I think it is important to differentiate younger JC (before the whole LP burning down and losing his core) and the JC that comes after. Younger JC is incredibly flawed, and has a lot of things that he should address, but he’s a little bit at this point like Jin Ling: he’s still where we could see him choosing to self-reflect and grow as a person.

The JC that comes after, and especially the JC we meet 13 years after WWX’s death, is a man who burrowed deep into his flaws and got stuck in a negative feedback loop that made him into a not great person (something that is compounded by the fact that he is a man who holds an extraordinary position of power and benefits from unimaginable privilege within the society he inhabits which thus gives him a wild berth to be cruel and violent towards others if he so wishes).

TBH, I see a lot of people portraying younger JC as a villain, and it is always a little bit difficult for me because all I can think about is “based on your criteria y’all would say that my relationship with my siblings was abusive and horrible 😬” and believe that the only dénouement our relationship could have would be to have us become estranged, lmao. Basically, based on my experience, I sort of feel like I get the dynamic that I think MXTX aimed to portray with younger JC and younger WWX?

My siblings and I fought all the time, physically and verbally (that’s literally how I learned to weave an argument because we were arguing with each other all the time). My little brother and I fought literally everywhere: our mom couldn’t take us shopping together because we’d end up wrestling on the ground in the middle of the aisle of the dollar store. We’d hit each other all the time if one of us said something dumb or mean or irritating (and that’s not even touching upon the fact that I was getting into fights with boys at schools and in afterschool activities). We threatened bodily harm or death based on the slightest inconvenience. We called each other names, and would find any occasion to belittle one another. When I was about four years old, I thought I was adopted since I didn’t look like my siblings or my parents, and was so thoroughly convinced of the idea that I was treated worse as a result that I ‘ran away’ from home all the time (neighbours would find me wandering in the streets or in the woods, or even hiding in their homes). My sister and I were jealous of the fact that our parents were incredibly lenient towards our younger brother, my sister was incredibly jealous that my brother and I had gotten more attention from our parents, and my little brother used to be jealous of the fact that my sister and I were more accomplished and used it as proof that he was the stupid sibling that was not made for school (spoiler alert: he was just not trying and got better grades than both of us in uni). And yet, we just thought that this was how siblings acted toward one another. When, during a family gathering, I tried to catch my brother’s attention by yelling “oi, you fucking halfwit!” and scandalized one of my aunts, my brother was the one to shrug and tell her that it was just how we talked to one another and that she was the one being weird for overreacting. Honestly, compared to how we were, JC is fucking tame. I was more violent with random boys than younger JC is ever shown to be. And yet, my siblings and I are close, and yes, we still love to argue and make fun of each other. Part of that is because we had time to grow and mature. But part of it is just that, although our relationship was far from being perfect, we sort of knew that underneath it all we loved each other in our own weird and dysfunctional way, and never doubted it. To us, calling each other names like “giant cunt” or “shitty bastard” was a way of showing endearment, to belittle one another was a demonstration of our closeness--we grew out of that phase, as we should, but we never really doubted that it meant something at the time. So I feel like I personally get what MXTX was doing with the portrayal of their relationship as teenagers.

Of course, I need to point out that JC and WWX’s relationship is a little bit different, because they are not actually siblings, and their social positions are different. But to me the breakdown really happens once JC becomes a worse version of himself and lets himself be consumed by his negativity and his flaws, refusing growth and self-reflection and empathy. It would have been possible for JC to grow and self-reflect, and to develop a more mature relationship with a WWX who still understood that, although JC was not perfect and ended up hurting him at times because of these flaws of his, they had a relationship that was worth preserving and nurturing. That is no longer the case after everything that takes places and all the choices JC makes, and by the end of the novel WWX considers that it is better to leave it all in the past, both the good and the bad, both the affection and the hatred.

#wwx #jc #little bit too personal but that's what y'all are getting #anon ask #trying to translate insults into english is so hard because it's so unimaginative and also not vulgar enough but what can you do

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bisluthq · 3 years

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Okay so I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now but I was far too nervous and didn’t want to offend anyone. But, that being said, can I ask why you choose to indulge in RPF? I personally find it super strange, invasive and (maybe this is a stretch) but also low-key dehumanising?

Idk what word to use here and how to eloquently word this but definitely feels like RPF plays into the fetishisation and the ‘disconnect’ of celebrities from people who indulge in it. Like, by writing RPF you’re writing your own version of that person (some people try and stay accurate whilst others invent whole new personalities after) but you don’t know them, not entirely, and for writers to (understandably) fill in the gaps with whatever they like and create fics seems a little disrespectful and voyeuristic, esp because you’re using very real people to fill in the majority of the sexy (or just generally desired) ‘character bar’ whilst headcanoning the rest and publishing it.

Idk, I personally find it kinda disrespectful as to how real human beings are just used almost as props to serve and fulfill a handful of people’s fantasies/desires. At least with fictional characters, it’s not that big a deal if you headcanon, fill in the personality gaps or go ooc because they are fictional. But for RPF, the real people are often treated as jumping off points for whatever build-a-bearfantasy writers have in mind (younger writers/readers are far more likely to do this but I believe it’s a widespread phenomenon amongst everyone who indulges in it)

And I know the people involved are likely never going to read it but it still doesn’t mean they haven’t been disregarded/disrespected as a person already. I’ve personally never liked RPF, writing or reading, but I know some people like it - I just don’t know why?? I know one argument I’ve heard is that celebs are in the public eye and so, they can rightfully be objectified/sexualised by their fanbase, which yes kinda makes sense but idk if it merits/justifies using the shell of the celebrity to fulfill the kinks of everyone in their fanbase.

I’m not sure how much sense I’ve made here. I’m pretty sure I’ve repeated myself the entire time lol but I am curious to what your answer would be. Full disclaimer - it is not my intention to shame you or anyone else - I just want to understand your thought process because it is wildly different to mine and for the most part I like/vibe with this blog a lot because your attitude towards celebs and celeb gossip is so refreshing. When I saw all the joshlie/swiftwyn fics I was a bit lost and further lost when people started actively thirsting, hence the reason behind this ask. Sorry this was so long ✌🏼

Okay so I have a lot of Thoughts™️ on this tbh. Now backstory: I was SUPER pearl clutchy about RPF for like actual years. I somehow missed the After phenomenon in terms of the books, but when the film deal came through I was properly scandalized. I was like, “Good grief imagine being Harry and you’re the basis for a whole ass abusive boyfriend character like what the actual fuck is wrong with these people!?” And then I did more thinking about it especially as I watched the sheer commercial success of this shitshow.

Now I’m very like theoretically anti capitalism but I’m also a very pragmatic person whose primary love is and always has been and always will be the entertainment industry so we do have to look at what makes money because this shit’s not charity. And what the runaway success of After taught me is... RPF makes money. Like BIG money.

So then I had to relax on the pearl clutching and start asking myself why that is. Why are people into this shit? Well, celebs market themselves as 1) a brand and 2) sexual beings. You’re supposed to want them. That’s how they’re being sold to you. Harry’s not posing fucking stark naked in the Fine Line insert art for his health. Taylor’s not posting National Sock Appreciation Day for you to appreciate her socks. Like these are sexual beings and they’re being marketed to us as sexual fantasy. That’s part of why we’re buying their shit.

Let’s go back to the ‘celebs market themselves as a brand’ - if you look at people inspiring RPF it’s hardly ever people who are like... freaky private. Nobody’s putting out Saoirse Ronan RPF because tbh the average person, even an average fan of hers, doesn’t really know anything about her. She avoids socials and she doesn’t take too much press and she sorta just does her thing. People like Harry and Taylor and tbh Karlie market their personalities. They’re selling a whole package - not just a talented professional, not just a hot person, but a whole ass person who you’re supposed to buy into while also being y’know turned on by them per my previous points.

So here we get into the RPF of it all. Realistically, these people are going to inspire fantasies. They’re trying to do that. And they’re also selling and marketing their relationships and personalities. Again, this is not an accident, this is a purposeful commercial push.

With that in mind, what’s so wrong about imagining scenarios that they’re kinda like... trying to concoct for us already? Taylor’s been singing about her sex life non stop since 2017. She’s told us these songs are about Joe. Joe’s a public figure who also takes interviews and markets his personality. Is it, therefore, wrong to imagine what that sex is like if they’re both hot and making money off of us? Is she not lowkey trying to get us to do that when she’s, like I say, singing about sex with him on main since 2017?

Now with RPF what we need to remember is this is purely fantasy. It isn’t real, and it’s not like... canon. I’m also not into like AU RPF personally like I don’t really have much imagination for like RPF crackships lmao but I’m also not going to get all huffy over it. For me, if celebrities sell shit using their relationship - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - and sell themselves as sexual and desirable - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - there’s nothing that wrong with fantasizing about what that is like.

It’s obviously not real. It shouldn’t be treated as real. But as an exercise in imagination, I don’t see what’s so wrong with it.

Also many of us have fantasies all the time even if we don’t write and publish them. We have sex dreams and weird fantasies about people we know/crushes and of course we fantasize about celebs. I think putting that down in formal words isn’t worth getting all up in arms about. I think it’s just having a bit of fun.

Finally, back to After: this is a HUGE commercial market. We can see that. And like I don’t see it as that unethical when I examine it closely because these people are also making money off of it. It’s like we can say “oh celeb gossip is so terrible” but it makes the people involved huge money. And considering at the end of the day entertainment shit does come down to the bottom line... ehhhh I’m okay with it.

Hope this kinda gives my take and it’s a conversation I’m very interested in so if y’all would like to keep having with takes and countertakes I’m all for it.

#nat talks fandom culture #Anonymous

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cmcreid-warriorprincess · 4 years

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Parentdale - - - for plotting ref!

So Lyndsy’s soiree has be thinking about the Havensdale parents a lot and I’d love to plot out some connections with them!! Below’s a list of all my viable parents and their backstories in a compact summary for reference (feel free to message me about connections etc and what it’ll mean for our actual characters!):

Havensdale Natives (they grew up here so high school etc connections like!!)

Karen McReid (single, fc; stana katic) - you know her already! The aunt of Ruby & Carrie, mom of Danny. She was super serious in high school, like ‘class president’ material also with a bit of a wild side but her sis Krystal was the Wild OneTM. Had the weight of the world on her shoulders ALL the time. Eventually dated Daniel Moore (Jenny’s uncle) in high school. Now a businesswomen and all around pillar of the community but keeps an arms length from being too involved in town shenanigans.

Veronica Evans (single) - this is Erica and Rose’s mom! She’s very lovely, a friendly neighbour with a messy ex that no one really knows the real story of (except a select few including neighbours the Wilsons). Close with McReids & Wilsons. Had a lot of friends in high school but lost touch with them when she was married. Is still trying to regain Power over her life and have fun again with friends. Doesn’t date but might want to. Help her.

Chuck and Claire Cooper (married, fc; paul rudd and leslie mann) - the Cooper’s! Christian’s parents and Cam/Callie’s aunt and uncle. Chuck is a teacher at Havens High and Claire owns local baker ‘Claire’s Cakes’. Chuck Cooper was the Ricky Beaumont of his time, total party animal, messy flirt, always up for shots. He’s a bop! Claire is the one who keeps them together, a responsible, very embarrassing mom (they’re both embarrassing tbh). They were BFF since childhood but didn’t get togetherTM until well after high school. ▣ (x)

Victoria Harvelle (married, fc; america ferrera) - Jess’ mom and absolute #dramaQUEEN. She grew up in Havensdale and got the hell out as soon as she turned 18. She’s an ex soap opera star, glamazon and simply #dying over having to be back in Havensdale all these years. Thinks she’s better than everyone - always did. D-I-V-A. Fake friends only probably. Knows her husband is cheating on her. Will not discuss his love child Lua Harvelle thanks bye. Was compelled by Jess to think they’d sent her away for her bad behaviour but tbh won’t bring her up either.

Mitchell and Lacy Morrison (married, fc; alexis denisof and charisma carpenter) - the Morrison parents! Mitch is an absolute dork with really cool socks who owns ‘Morrison Records’. Honestly just...a soft, nerdy Dad who loves his wife more than anything. Lacy is the Bad GirlTM and always was (definitely in love with this nerd all her life tbh). She’s very cool which makes up for how uncool Mitch is. Remember, non-magical people think Mark woke up from his ‘coma’ recently and magicals know he was brought back from the dead. They deserve a nice night, basically.

Aaron and Marie Fairchild (widowed, deceased) - Charlene’s mom/Rachel’s uncle and aunt. Marie died when Charlene was young and Aaron is always on the road for work. Marie was thee Cool MomTM and very involved. They both would have had a TON of friends until Marie died and Aaron became distant. Needless to say, neither are here tonight.

Lyndsy McArthur and Andrew Moore (re-married - fc; , deceased - fc; jason bateman) - Jenny’s parents! We all know Lyndsy of ‘Lyndsy’s café’. She’s an absolute sweetheart with a right hook to match. Another piller of the community TBH, need I say more? The same goes for Andrew who died when Jenny was little (he was a fireman). These two were high school sweethearts, 100% the cutest couple, probably prom king and queen. Lyndsy’s now married to Derek McArthur if y’all remember!

Felicity Montgomery (married, fc; madchen amick) - #icequeen! In high school though she was a punky rebel with a giant attitude problem. Her and Ethan McArthur were also #that couple - don’t remind her. (x)

Maryse Anderson (married) - Effy & Lana’s mom, god help her. Very judgy, very straight laced and god fearin’ - she’s also super involved with the town’s events etc. Probably causes drama at every PTA meeting. Probably has beef with every other parent in town. BIG SECRET: her husband is in jail.

Larry Manning (married, fc; will smith) - Tyler’s dad. Owner of family pub/restaurant ‘The Silver Fox’ and a town treasure. Basically everyone’s dad, always looking out for you and can fix pretty much anything. He’s a settled down, very chill, married man and father. Was literally THE COOLEST guy in high school though, ask anyone!

Fred Porter (married) - the Porter dad! Can you believe there was an original Greg? ‘Cause Fred was breaking hearts, jaws, his own fists and making 1000 mistakes per minute long before his second son was even a thought. He got his act together! He’s a very hard working dad with good, family values who only wants the best for his family. Is so hard on Greg because he sees so much of himself in him tbh. His wife was 100% his saving grace, he loves her so much.

Mr and Mrs Jennings (married) - Isaiah’s parents! Mr Jennings is a member of one of Havensdale founding families so they’re SUPER involved in the town. They’re very fancy, have a big ole house, love to take trips but are friendly with everyone. They’re only snobby on accident. Mr Jennings is very serious and is waiting for Isaiah to stop his nonsense and join the family business. Mrs Jennings is way funner.

Not *from* Havensdale but live here now!!

William ‘Bill’ Tyler (technically, legally still married, fc; mark ruffalo) - Hailie’s dad. He own’s ‘Bill’s Tech Store’ which is a computer store so he’ll fix your WiFi etc. A grumpy loner type with an absolute heart of gold. Everyone who was around at the time knows his wife Grace Laurel Tyler left him and Hailie years ago (her dramatic return is still lowkey on the D.L right now though). Loves his daughter SO MUCH, is stressed to his eyeballs about her having.......a boyfriend. ▣ Was dating Sarah Palmer before she died (Juliette's mom) and honestly, me and Kayleigh figured this out today and I'm still crying.

Joseph Montgomery (married, fc; matthew mcconaughey) - Mr Montgomery! He’s lived here with Felicity since before Elena was born (22+ years). He’s a business man with political ties and always wears a suit. A big ole charmer that you literally can’t help but like!

Mrs Porter - info to follow on Greg, Simon and Annie’s mom but lbr...she’ll be an angel!!!

Penelope ‘Penny’ Manning (married, fc; salma hayek) - Tyler’s mom. The Mannings moved to Havensdale 17+ years ago! Penny’s a high flyer, works in fashion, always has her hands-free in, slightly aloof and very scary when she’s on the phone dealing with a problem. The BossTM. Absolute goals. Loves her son and doesn’t mean to be so absent. Friends with everyone but she never has time.

Joseph Salvatore (married, fc; jared padalecki) - Joey and Keith’s dad (and maybe more). He’s lived in Havensdale full time aroundabout when Keith was born (ISH). Before this, he was a legit rockstar. He toured, he did the whole sex, drugs, drink and rock ‘n roll thing. Now he’s a real pillar of the community, owns the gym, is very involved with the town - which made the arrival of his Secret Son Joey such a SCANDAL. He’s still recovering.

Charles Harvelle (married, MIA, fc; david tennant) - No one has noticed yet or caused a scene about it but Mr Harvelle is currently missing.... Details will follow, for now his wife just believes he’s on another business trip AKA having an affair with his secretary. A mess at being a father and husband. RIP. Has lived in Havensdale aroundabout 18 yrs with his wife and Jess.

Mr & Mrs Thomson (married) - Tessa’s parents. They’re both hunters who’ve been on the road for most of their lives (saving people, hunting things, the family business). Just a fab couple! A supportive, dorky dad and a badass yet super sweet mom. They’re v likable and have been in town for a fair few months now.

#hihrp #hihparent #ooc #is this a good reference or a mess who can say!

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trr-fangirl · 6 years

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TRR Theory!

(^^^ me)

I’m not sure how long this theory is about to be but I’ve got screenshots for days and this theory has been on my mind since then. I know damn well PB is going to punch holes in my theory once Chapter 11 releases on Friday but hey, it’s worth a shot right?

Okay, I have a few suspects, although... I’m not too sure about Leo but if you suspect him, let me know why! I seriously am curious because I can’t think of why he would want to kill his own parents and brother. This is mostly just me babbling about the random foreshadowing I’ve seen and my three suspects. Stay with me here! This is a lot!

Foreshadowing!

Royal Palace

Chapter Nine and Ten is littered with hints of something going down. It’s the first time the court is back at the palace since the attempt. With there being a large group of people gathered in one small space, something is bound to happen. (I was waiting for something to happen in both chapters… this is Pixelberry were talking about.) This is also why we all know the big ass courtly event of a wedding is a bad idea aka Stop! Putting! MC! In! A! Ballroom! 2k18!

Defense Training

That was a clear tip-off to us that somewhere down the line, we’re going to have to fight. I think this is the reason Mara and Bastien aren’t seen immediately after the explosion (I thought they were going to rush towards them as soon as the first bomb went off) In Chapter Nine before going to the training room, If you choose, “Is this necessary when you’re around to protect me?” Liam says something along the lines of, “Mara can’t be everywhere at once.” but she does say that she’s working on it. (Sorry, I didn’t have those screenshots) I felt like this was giving us a hint that, ‘Yo, you’re gonna have to defend yourself soon.’

Constantine

Another thing that they foreshadowed is pretty much Constantine’s death. His heartfelt speech to Regina, making amends with Hakim, being soft with his sons, and apologizing/offering the Cordonian Crest necklace to the MC (All those SS are below). These situations seem more like a ‘goodbye’ rather than just being soft and genuine. From the way Lucretia spoke about him and the way he was in the past two books, he’s not very sentimental in my opinion but that’s just me.

I personally think Constantine is going to pass before the wedding. From the explosion? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not sure. These last two chapters with Constantine just gave me the feeling that he really isn’t going to be around for much longer. I thought that they would let him go to the wedding but from the way he was speaking and then the explosion... I’m not sure. (Watch PB throw this out the window and let him live.)

My Three Suspects (aka they look fishy af)

Neville (aka Ratatouille)

The duel between Drake and Neville seriously confirmed my thoughts that Neville’s ass is apart of this terrorist group! I’m not even trying to be funny but enlighten me if I’m missing something: I do not remember Drake and Neville ever having a conversation in book two. I don't even think they interacted in book two.

So, why does Neville have this burning hate for Drake? Where did it come from? If he is apart of the group, it would make sense for him to be upset that Drake stopped the bullet that would have killed the Duchess/Future Queen. Why else would he be so mad at a man he’s never had a decent interaction with?

There is also the fact that out of everyone that attended the Homecoming Ball and witnessed the attack— They showed some kind of emotion while talking about it. No matter if it was anger or sadness, they had emotion. (i.e Olivia, Bertrand, Kiara, and Penelope) but with Neville? He has none.

If he’s talked to Drake prior to book three, let me know! But I don’t remember off the top of my head. If he isn’t apart of the group, I’m going to be surprised because there’s a lot of things against him.

Lucretia (this part is actually pretty long)

I’m telling y’all! Lucretia knows something we don’t! She just does! I can’t put my finger on it but she knows.. something and it’s possibly pretty big! Now, I’m not sure she’s apart of this assassin shiz but if her sister was corrupt, I’m not putting it past her to be the same way.

I’ve been reiterating this to myself for months. I highly doubt that Olivia is apart of this! She’s not! I’m not just saying this because she’s my baby and if she would have became an LI, I would have dropped Liam like a hot-potato but because she’s been with us practically the entire book! She even called her own parents ‘traitors’! I cannot stress this enough.

Lucretia is a different story.

As I read through this scene, I got a lot of information at once. I had to read it over a few times myself. Lucretia seems to have a (bull spit) reason for why she didn’t come to Lythikos to take care of Olivia once her parents died. It seems like she was trying to keep Olivia safe in her own twisted and unique way.

Because of these five screenshots, she knows something about Constantine that we don’t and whoever these assassins are-- know this too. They called Liam a ‘scion of tyranny’ and from what Lucretia is saying here, it might be hella true. We already got a glimpse of how Constantine uses his power for his own personal gain aka the scandal.

The first video from the Five Kingdoms Festival now makes sense (to me at least) This group is afraid of Liam becoming power hungry and corrupt like his father and taking advantage of The Crown. So, in order to keep that from happening, they want to eliminate him (and his future wife if that’s your route) at all costs. If you're a duchess, I feel like this goes back to when Constantine said about having power around others who don’t.

Now, the last part when she says ‘And a reason why all of the plots against him failed.’ has me stumped. I honestly don’t know what she means by that. Help? Cause, I really don’t know.

Side note: I just wanted to point this out. The way her lines are written, it seems like she has no respect for anyone apart of the royal family. She’s not too fond of Constantine (I don’t think anyone is) and the way she speaks about Liam is... questionable. Not to mention (if Liam is your LI) she emphasizes on the fact that he’s marrying an ‘American’ and even called the MC an ‘unorthodox future queen’. Then there’s this:

So, I’m not completely sure where Lucretia stands with those two.. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Justin (aka Court Dweeb)

Because of this post here (credit to her for having a good ass memory bc it sounded familiar but didn’t know from where), I think he is a Nevrakis. Whether he’s Olivia’s first cousin removed, long-lost brother, or her father, someway they might be related! Or, he’s working with Lucretia and she said this to him as a mantra. But that wouldn’t make much sense if he was in the hospital for nine flipping chapters. I honestly think the family thing is the best bet because from what Olivia said, the quote was from her father.

And lastly,

The Explosion

Firstly 😑

Formerly Crowned Prince Leo has THE. WORST. TIMING. EVER. Like damn boi, why you always here when something dramatic is about to go down? You ain’t even that special! (Though, I have no problem with him attending my wedding. That would be cool, lowkey) Anyways... This is what I was extremely excited about writing.

The first bomb that went off was a distraction but the second one was obviously for the Royal Family and MC. The position of the bomb and the timing was almost perfect. Right next to the King. How would the assassins know where to put the device to go off right next to the Royal Family and the MC?

It has to be someone from inside the ballroom. Yet again, a noble. It was way too close to Liam for it to just be a coincidence. They could have been anywhere in the ballroom but it was planted right next to Liam. If it was a nobleman, it would have been easy for them to slip out, place the bombs, and slip back in like nothing happened.

Going back to the Homecoming Ball, if a noble is on the inside working against the monarchy, that makes it easy for the assassins to walk through the front door (quite literally). Out of my three suspects, its either Justin or Neville and if PB wants to do it, make it an unknown third party.

Conclusion

There could be a third or fourth party. All these suspects could be working together or might not be apart of the conspiracy at all. Who knows? These last chapters gave a lot of information that I still need to go through and make sense of. This book is about to get good and I’m here for all the drama and theories that are about to come out of this! If you guys want me to continue to do something like this, I can. (I’ve got a lot to say about Lucretia, tbh) There was just too much in this last chapter. I had to get it out somehow! I hope you enjoyed this and please don’t hesitate to comment! I would love to see your theories and what you think! 💗

tagging those who I think might be interested: @blackcatkita @drakewalkerwhipped @trr-duchessofvaltoria

#the royal romance #trr theory #playchoices #this was a lot and i don't think im done with the way this book is going #watch my theory be proven wrong come friday #lol im waiting pb #tj got nothing on trr right now #long post #long text

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shaykeijser · 6 years

Text

riverdale 2x16

here are my thoughts/reactions to this weeks episode that no one asked for, which will include spoilers (obviously) so i’m putting them under the cut. i’ve already watched the episode so these aren’t my first reactions technically but they’ll be the same.

caution: i’m not a fan of jughead or the core four. so i’ll be poking fun/getting annoyed at them.

- why did betty not go straight to alice with the dna test? why would she give chic, who she thinks is capable of hurting her, the opportunity to last out at her? i also still don’t get why she didn’t just get a normal dna test. like you’re a journalist, get the full truth, not just some of it

- i fucking called it!! why do ya think hal wanted nothing to do with chic? remember when he said “you’re letting this stranger into our house”? he wouldn’t call his own son a stranger

- fp is the dad and that’s the facts (that wouldn’t make bughead wrong don’t even try to defend that)

- chic is such a good creep IM LIVING FOR IT

- if it wasn’t a for-profit prison it wouldn’t be the worst idea. but it is so :///

- southside high was falling apart at the seems. the old students were aware of that and were plenty happy to go away! yes the lodge’s had other intentions with shutting down the school, but overall it was a good thing. there’s other, more valid reasons to not like the prisons that aren’t being talked about!!

- lol we know that veronica running for stuco wouldn’t end up well

- fred getting more screen time <333 (even if i don’t totally agree with him)

- does everybody at this school watch the same tv shows how is jughead quoting scandal (which i had to google) universally understood? i’m actually a sophomore and my friends and i quote vines.

- why isn’t ronnie defending herself? she gave that look to archie so he could defend her. where did kick ass veronica i don’t take no shit’ lodge go??

- ‘hunger strike for southside high’ BOI

- ‘for it to re-open’ i had to pause this when i first watched this scene. he went there for like 2 weeks. toni was his only true friend for the majority of it. he didn’t like the idea of it and didn’t like what he had to do to survive there. the other students were happy with it closing!! why you gotta be so extra?? and if he really wants to get out of riverdale to be a writer he shouldn’t be trying to go back to a school that had teachers who gave up hope on their students

- ew ethel (i was eh with her all together but i’m still >:( over how she got mad at veronica for what hiram did to her father. veronica was one of the only people who was comforting her and tried to make amends. we can’t forget that when that all was going down veronica didn’t like her dad)

- WHY ARE KEVIN AND JOSIE SITTING ALONE

- wait jk i remembered

- HAHAHA ok i’m josie (don’t get me wrong i like veronica and is the only tolerable lead for me atm but that slushie thing is really funny. it was sorta uncalled for, but she is working with her father soz)

- props to veronica for being the bigger person in this scenario

- 'what are the odds your father’s gonna be the first inmate in that prison?’ #boomroasted #thatwasatheofficereference #didanyonegetit

- lol at least veronica kept her cool for a little bit (go her btw)

- MY POOR CHERYL NO

- mama blossom is shady and nana rose is sassy

- that tea’s gonna be poison i’m calling it

- why would ethel’s dad want a job at the prison? he was a businessman

- veronica’s own parents are threatening her UGH

- power to veronica for wanting to run but this isn’t gonna end well

- TONI’S HOT & even if her audition flopped cheryl still would’ve made her member #lovemybabies

- tbh i didn’t like the lodges being the main plot point and i’d still prefer for the serpents to get more screentime than them BUT this is getting interesting

- drag him archie

- i want to see other south siders fighting for this why does jughead get to be the leader of this revolution (that i’m here for!! except for the school thing bc it doesn’t make sense)

- y’all have been having friendship problems since the ms. gr**** thing i think the trains have been getting closer than you think jug

- FINALLY, THE CHONI I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

- something bad is gonna happen to cheryl i’m calling it, and nana rose

- (about what betty said after cheryl opened up) betty let chic into her and her family’s life can she not just be cautious from a distance and let her mom enjoy having her son back

- of course toni’s in the bed you sly little bird cheryl

- y’all gonna fuck? kidding this the cw that’s only for het couples

- THEY GONNA KISS AWE

- ok fuck why can’t we have some happiness for once

- penelope and claudius pushed her, i mean penelope had obviously prepared a back up plan incase she didn’t die (mentioning sundowners syndrome)

- #ProtectCherylBlossom

- aw archie’s mom is back i’m happy

- YES SCHOOL THAT BOY FOR DISRESPECTING FRED GO MAMA ANDREWS

- charles melton looks really hot with a bruised face oi oi (so does jordan connor)

- that lowkey sounds like a bribe veronica....

- fang, toni, and pea are in this scene?? new favorite scene

- honestly, if any other serpent was the one in jugheads spot i think i would be all for it lmao

- i thought mary (andrews) was gonna also give archie the safe sex talk that he archie never got dang

- mary’s giving good advice though let’s just hope archie will listen to it

- I LOVE KEVIN

- kevin had the right to tell chic, she was the one who forced him into the poorly planned catfishing (like seriously - she shouldn’t have been there and they shouldn’t have done it at a school). kevin has barely got any good storylines that actually continue and i’m so damn happy that he’s sticking up for himself. betty only reaches out to him when she needs help.

- betty talking about her darkness and saying ‘darkness’ in general is the most cringey thing ever. she has some sort of mental illness. i don’t know what but they shouldn’t have taken this ‘darkness inside of me’ approach.

- i wish V tried to become josie’s friend before asking her for an endorsement. actually, i wish the show resolved their friendship ages ago. they’re the one of the few WOC and overall i’m tired of girl x girl friendships being ruined like this

- it’s got so bad that veronica had to bribe josie to endorse her. i know this isn’t gonna go well

- sweet pea looking like an out of focus snack <333

- DRAG HIM JUGHEAD (lol you can tell how much i don’t like archie being up hiram’s ass that i’m praising jughead)

- give betty cooper therapy, you cowards

- ‘i caught the black hood’ bitch no you didn’t that hoe still out there & i’m taking that theory to the grave

- sheriff keller woah i forgot about him

- my boy fp!!

- omfg imagine when betty tells jughead that chic’s dad isn’t hal they better have him be like “...what if it’s mine” (i just realized that sorta sounds like jughead saying ‘what if the kid aka chic is mine’ and that’s not what i meant, i meant that chic’s dad is jughead’s dad but that made me laugh so i’m keeping it)

- oh sHIT something’s gonna happen @ this concert/rally for veronica’s campaign thing

- kevin’s filming it yeps something’s happening

- ope i knew it ethel is passing papers out

- woop there it is

- i don’t ~really~ get why betty’s mad

- JOSIE’S APART OF IT WTF I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING but i should have :(

- this show tries to be all about female empowerment but then they have two girls banding together to bully an already manipulated and hurting girl. smh

- again, i don’t ~really~ get why betty can’t trust her anymore

- :((( i feel so bad for ronnie. she’s being manipulated by her parents and i really want her out of lodge industries. she’s taking blame for the shit that her parents have done

- THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

- HAHAHAA THE WIG OH MY GOD

- “i was guessing” congrats betty, you’ve played yourself

- the offer that hiram made to fp actually sounds nice :((( if only he wasn’t so shady

- archie is so far up hiram’s ass he sounds exactly like him

- YOU GO MARY! SCHOOL YO CHILD

- finally a parent (alice) talks bout safe sex to their kid (betty)!!! my mom is gonna be so happy when she watches this episode (yes i watch riverdale with my mom, no it’s not awkward during sex scenes because we watch every show together so we’re used to it)

- “absolutely not.” keep telling that to yourself alice

- alice cooper is my favorite cooper

- “he’s dangerous.” bitch so are you? you held a lighter up to his face?

- i thought alice killed that drug dealer is that what betty is saying he did

- cheryl doesn’t have red lipstick on in this hospital scene something’s gonna happen

- nana was being poisoned by the tea :((

- i guess i’m remembering this wrong i thought alice shot him (about the scene in chic’s room)

- how did betty not remember that he didn’t touch anything

- CHERYL DROP AND ROLL OUT OF THAT CAR NOW

- look at archie being all smart aw

- why is betty next to kevin?? stay away from my baby (kevin)

- this scene is actually really powerful? even though them chaining themselves to the school is a repetitive and cliche thing to do, the aesthetics and the filming of it is really cool

- can we see all those young serpents more often pls

- what is jughead talking about why does he think they’re gonna lose riverdale high? is it because of veronica running? bc no one’s gonna vote for her after those flyers

- uGH i can see him being a good president

- why is betty so done with her and veronica’s friendship? i really don’t get why she’s so mad at her?

- jughead, betty, and fp all living together. that’s a concept

- SOMEONE WRITE A HEADCANON OF ALICE BUSTING INTO THE TRAILER TO GET BETTY BACK AND THEN WE GET SOME CUTE FALICE ANGST

- i’m happy mary’s staying bc maybe with her around we’ll get more fred screen time #canyoutellilovefred

- FUCK YEAH FRED IS RUNNING

- toni topaz is the caring type of girlfriend who goes to her girl’s house when they aren’t in school pass it on!!

- but really though where is cheryl what are they doing to her

- CHERYL DOESN’T DESERVE THIS SHE’S BEEN EMOTIONALLY ABUSED FOR YEARS AND HAS LOST A BROTHER, FATHER, AND BEST FRIEND

main takeaways

~ veronica is being manipulated by her parents and doesn’t deserve half of the shit that’s getting thrown at her

~ jughead is still cringey and extra

~ toni is the girlfriend of all of our dreams let’s be honest here

~ cheryl blossom doesn’t deserve this bullshit

~ betty cooper is mentally ill

~ chic is fp and alice’s son

~ #FredForMayor

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bikingthroughhawkins · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by the gorgeous @maplestreet83 - thanks so much for tagging me, Petal! You’re a gem and congrats again on the follow count!! 💙💙🌸😘

Rules:

1. Post the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

3. Write Eleven questions of your own

4. And tag Eleven people

1. Favourite movie?

Teen Beach Movie! Starring my gorgeous husband who I love with all my heart and being - the PERFECT AND FLAWLESS ROSS LYNCH 😍😍😍

2. Favourite season 2 theory so far?

Well because it’s already aired (Hallelujah 🙏🏻🙌🏻) I’m gonna say what my fav theory was which was that the Demogorgon was a conjuring of a dark mirror reflection of Eleven’s inner psyche. I thought that was so cool! And some scenes had direct parallels!

3. Have a crush?

On my husband, Ross Lynch, as discussed above, yes 😁 IRL? No, the boys at my school be yucky

4. Candy corn or nah?

Never tried it but I don’t like candy so nahhhhhh

5. Favourite line from all of ST?

Too many to name!!! But I think I die the most at “so, Jonathan...how was the pull out?” - Cue me dead on the floor

6. Zodiac sign?

(An insanely and ironically unbalanced) LIBRA

7. Favourite Stranger Things 2 scene?

OoOhOOo too many!!! But Ma favvvvvv would HAVE to be the scene where Mike is telling El to be careful at the gate and they almost kiss and they get TOTALLY HOPBLOCKED! Hell yeah, not only was there Mileven but over-protective Dad Hopper foreshadowing his role in S3 - defs gotta be Ma favvvv

8. Three favourite TV shows?

Austin & Ally, Stranger Things and Miraculous Ladybug

9. A song you listened to on repeat recently?

The Way That You Do by Ross Lynch (you know who he is to me by now 😉) from the Austin & Ally soundtrack

10. Favourite book genre?

YA Urban Fantasy

11. Jane or Eleven?

ELEVEN!!!! ALL THY WAY! But tbh El if anything - literally whatever Mike calls her 😂😂

12. Bowie or Kenny Rogers?

Gonna have to say Bowie (primarily coz I don’t know who Kenny Rogers is but also coz Bowie be lit)

13. How do you spend a rainy day?

Sleeping in, binging a Netflix series (most likely ST, duh!) and reading my current book while drinking some of my indie hot chocolate I got from a book subscription service ☕️😜

14. Deserted island food choice?

Bow tie pasta (the bow tie part is very important)

15. Greatest number of times you’ve re-read a single book?

I probs re-read Dr Seuss’ There’s No Place Like Space about 163 times

16. Dream retirement destination?

I’ll go wherever my Rossy-Boo goes 💙 (wow, this must be getting sad for you guys)

17. If money wasn’t an issue what would you do with your life?

I probably wouldn’t change much - just the amount of fandom merchandise I own and maybe opt for the premium Netflix package

18. Style choice?

Causal ‘Rydel style’ (just don’t ask haha)

19. Name three idols you would love to sit down and have tea with?

I will exclude ‘you know who’ from this in order to not annoy y’all 😂 love you, Ross! 💋) but I would love to sit down with Harper Lee (TKAM is my favourite book), Rosa Parks (I think she is so inspirational) and oh, what the heck, ROSS! 😆😆❤️ and can we get some hot chocolate going instead of boiled leaf water? Cheers

20. D & D or Dragon’s Lair?

I love board games but I also love the arcade! Gosh Imma say both because I would LOVE to play both

21. If you had a time machine, what time period would you visit?

Either the 80’s (what up, ST crew?!) or the 50’s coz I’m lovin them swing dresses - super cute!!!

22. How would you react to losing your phone?

I don’t know because I would be dead before I let that happen

23. Do you prefer summer or winter?

Summer coz I’m Aussie and we don’t like the cold

24. What’s the last song you’ve had stuck in your head?

Double Take by Ross Lynch (seriously guys, he’s all I think about - I need help) from the Austin & Ally soundtrack

25. How many languages do you speak?

One fluently (well, you can be the judge of that) and I dabble in Le français (very strong emphasis on dabble)

26. Do you have siblings?

Yeah, one little sister - she’s low key a savage

27. Dad Hopper or Dad Steve?

*in that little Mexican girl from the taco ad’s voice* why not have both?

28. Do you have a weird talent?

I can balance a trombone on my upper lip while clapping like a seal (I really don’t know how I discovered it tbh - I was the talk of the intermediate music school district 😂👌🏻)

29. What was your favourite cringey but amazing 80’s look in season two?

It wasn’t cringey in my books but El’s punk look was defs my fav!!!

30. Reese’s pieces or Three Musketeers?

I’ve never tried either (I know! Scandalous!) but I love peanut butter so imma say Reese’s 😜

31. What country in the world would you like to visit?

Either the USA or the Netherlands because why not?

32. What’s your favourite song from the Stranger Things soundtrack?

From season one, I honestly loved them all but my favs were First Kiss and Biking To School (which is what inspired my URL) and from season two it would have to be Eulogy because it’s triggering but a beautiful triggering

33. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given anyone?

I gave my mother the gift of me, and I think that’s hard to beat. Geez, the more time I spend on this site the more narcissistic I become (and I low key love it 😂) - I wrote my dad a song once and choreographed a dance for his bday when I was about 10! Thought that was nice hehe 💙

My questions for you lovelies to answer (mwahahahahaha)!:

1. If you were a pair of shoes, what would you be?

2. Which planet in the solar system do you identify with most?

3. If you had a POP Vinyl made of you, what’s the one thing it would need to have?

4. You can only kill off one: Ted or Billy?

5. Steve & bat or Steve & dish towel?

6. Dad Steve or Mom Steve?

7. What’s your go-to karaoke song?

8. Favourite 80’s film?

9. What’s a really cheesy tv/movie/book trope that you love?

10. What food do you need when binge watching a TV show?

11. Steve and Dustin. Name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait.

BONUS:

12. And of course, it wouldn’t be an @BikingThroughHawkins questionnaire if it didn’t ask the most important question of all: WHAT IS YOUR ALL TIME FAVOURITE MEME?

WOOH! FINALLY FREEEEE! Haha - sorry you lovelies had to go through this list of useless and probably not that interesting material about moi! But I had fun and I hope you may have learned something! 😉 thanks again SO much to the lovely @maplestreet83 for tagging me! I don’t usually do these so I’m happy to have taken part! Thanks again my lovely!

I now tag the following noble blogs whom I deem the perfect candidates to tackle this questionnaire! (Sorry if you’ve already been tagged 😁 I just wanted ya to feel loved!)

@strangerwaffle @80smikewheeler

@itselhopper @m11ke-wheeler

@nancytheslutwheeler @mike-paladin

@strange-waffles11

@maxmayfield

@sincerely-millie

@lets-engage

@teenwolfexpert24

#asks #thanks for this lovely!#about me #yayaya #I LOVE QUIZZES

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quillyfied · 7 years

Text

So I saw Beauty and the Beast tonight, thoughts below! MAJOR spoilers!!

Once again, spoiler alert, sorry for y’all on mobile who can’t quite skip this, but just scroll really fast or do whatever mobile lets you do, idk

So, speaking as someone who’s had the animated movie memorized since two years of age, my first reaction is that I wanted to like it more than I actually did. I did enjoy it a lot, but not nearly as much as the original. Maybe another watch-through will improve it in my mind since now I know what to expect and can really immerse myself in it, we’ll see. The script is really close, almost word-for-word similar to the original, which makes diversions from the script (not additions, just changing existing lines) kinda jarring.

I still can’t get over Emma Watson’s autotuned singing voice. I really can’t. Tosses me right out of the story every time. The Beast also has some autotune going on, but not as bad. Everyone else is pretty good (Gaston surprisingly so). The new songs are all really pretty, and the new lines thrown into familiar songs threw me off, but on the whole the music is nice! I wasn’t expecting it to be a musical still, so dealing with that was interesting.

I was super upset with the casting for a while until I saw Gaston in action; him being much older actually kind of works, it’s a great portrayal. There’s a part where he steps on a bunch of cabbages and the lady sitting next to me audibly gasped, she was so scandalized XD The Beast/Prince...he’s cute. Not pretty enough to quite pull off the long hair and sculpted look of the original animated Prince (because...he’s animated...), but his face is expressive and he has great comedic timing, so his Beast was super enjoyable. I LOVE how he was her intellectual equal in this iteration. Even Gaston recognized how smart Belle is, and how argumentative (I feel like they amped up her FIGHT ME instinct, it pleases me), and I like how he’s attracted to how she’s different as well as pretty. It makes his obsession with possessing her a little more real.

For people worried and/or offended about Lefou being gay: it’s a very small escalation from what was already existing in the animated film, but they humanized him much more in this one. He isn’t a brainless lackey, he’s a guy with a hopeless and toxic crush learning to get over it and find something better, which is pretty darn inspiring for someone of ANY sexuality, tbh. Harder to write off as “just guys being bros” than in the animated film, which is also pretty cool. (And okay let’s be real if you wanted to, you could make a convincing argument for Lefou already being hella gay or bisexual in the original; I would like to present to the board “Gaston” for my evidence that his sexuality may just have been Gaston in particular.) Lefou gets the redemption arc no one thought to ask for and it’s wonderful.

The iconic moments were all amazing and done with such incredible love and detail...so much so that it felt like the rest of the movie was an awkward recreation with an attempt at a new twist. LOVED the spin on the curse, LOVED the characters and how they were animated (Cogsworth in particular was so clever!). But there were bits and pieces that were just thrown in and not explained much or dropped entirely, such as: Belle’s mother, the Beast’s father, Gaston’s war (I am half convinced it was just him pillaging across France all on his onesie with a cannon and a musket), the book (WTF WAS WITH THE BOOK, IF YOU WERE GONNA PUT IT IN THEN BRING IT BACK AT THE END IN, LIKE, A POST-CREDITS SCENE AS BELLE AND THE PRINCE USING IT TO TRAVEL TO NEW LOCATIONS AND BRING BACK THAT “LET’S ESCAPE” MOTIF), Belle’s bookkeeping friend, the Enchantress taking on a different old woman form as Agatha and never explaining herself, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something but those bugged me the most.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF WALT I AM SO OFFENDED AT BELLE’S DRESS. HER EVERYDAY DRESSES OUTCLASSED THE BALLGOWN. IT SHOULD NOT HAVE LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING YOU COULD PICK UP AT JC PENNEY. HER SHIFT WAS PRETTIER THAN THE ACTUAL GOWN. AND WHAT’S WITH THE PENDANT, IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE A GOLD ROSE VINE OR JUST AN ABSTRACT SHAPE? But the piece holding her hair back was beautiful and I did like the animation of the gold leaf coming down. The rest of the movie had such lovely costume design, why TF was her iconic ball gown so lackluster? And her wedding dress, for that matter!!

My equally-obsessed friend made the point that the moments that felt awkward or didn’t jive for me may be because of my high expectations and literal memorization of the original, so next time I see it (hopefully soon!), I will try to keep a more open mind. I’m not disappointed, exactly, but given that I didn’t really know what I wanted from this film, I know I did not get what I expected on a gut level. But it was worth the money and very enjoyable, 9/10!

#beauty and the beast #batb spoilers #beauty and the beast spoilers #live action beauty and the beast

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The Best ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Finale Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Last Day Of Amanda’s Childless Vacation

Well fam, we did it. We made it to the finale of and all it took was one sex ed class from Chris Harrison, a crudely mishandled sexual assault allegation, the downfall of Dean, and more scallop jokes than were really necessary. BUT WE FUCKING DID IT. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the process and my liver has definitely taken a hit here, but I guess I’ll do anything for cause to watch reality TV rejects fornicate on a Mexican beach, even if it jeopardizes my health and wellness. It’s important to know yourself.

Side note: I have now convinced my roommate—and her German friends from out of town staying with us this week—to watch this show. I’m really making strides with US-German relations here. Just call me a fucking ambassador.

Anyway, the episode starts with Chris Harrison emulating my mother when she inquires about my love life at massive family gatherings asking the remaining cast members to define their relationships. He’s really taking his responsibility as host to the next fucking level.

^^Actual footage of Chris Harrison in Paradise rn

Dean looks legitimately terrified at the thought of marriage even though barely three months ago he was going to PROPOSE to Rachel. Whatever.

Lol I love how Chris just dips after dropping this truth bomb. Like, if you want to stay in Mexico and have semi-decent accommodations with free WiFi and actual walls for your room then you’ll need to 100 percent commit to this person you’ve been dry-humping all summer. Can’t wait to watch these people implode under that kind of pressure.

So let me get this straight. Basically their choices are: go on a date to figure out what they are, leave as a couple, or get engaged? That’s what you’re telling me rn? ABC, have you SEEN the men you forced these dime pieces to socialize with? Have you?!

Jesus Christ. I rest my fucking case.

Lacey is the first one on the chopping block to be vulnerable. She asks Daniel if he’ll go on this date with her so they can continue to see where this blight upon humanity relationship goes. I’m watching this whole interaction and all I can think is, Daniel has all the makings of someone that should be attractive but yet instead makes me want to rip my fingernails off and claw my eyes out with the bloody stumps. Ya know?

LACEY: I’m really, really, REALLY desperate enjoying my time with you. Will you go on this date with me?

DANIEL: I’m not done with you yet. You still haven’t seen the fireworks in my pants.

ME:

Jack Stone goes next. He pulls Christen aside and asks her to be his girlfriend because apparently this is the eighth fucking grade. Seriously though, am I watching or an episode of ? It’s honestly hard to tell.

JACK STONE: I want to leave Mexico holding hands with you.

CHRISTEN: lol

Wow this conversation is not going well at all. Jack Stone keeps bringing up the hand holding thing and Christen looks genuinely alarmed that he thinks he can even breathe the same air as her once they get back to the States.

“Does he think we have a love story?” — Christen for the fucking win right here.

*slow claps* That’s it, I’m team #ScallopFingers forever. Honestly, I’ve never been more proud of a virgin who can’t drive.

My German friend after sitting through barely 15 minutes of this show: I thought there’d be more nudity.

Honestly, you’re not wrong. Same.

Adam and Raven decide to also go on the date. Adam looks shook that anyone would want to sleep with him. Aw, Adam, give yourself some more credit! All Raven’s got to compare you to is Nick!

It’s Dean and D-Lo’s turn to DTR and I don’t know if emotionally I can handle watching these two life ruiners ride off into the fucking sunset for a happy ending. I just don’t know if I can stomach it—WAIT. Did he just dump D-Lo?? FOR KRISTINA??

I. AM. SHOOK.

Dean keeps talking about how he fucked up and he misses Kristina and all I can think is:

Side note: Does Danielle L have butterflies tattooed on her the backs of her ankles? She does, right? And it’s all starting to make sense now.

Last but certainly least, we have Amanda and Robby, a couple I do not give one single shit about. They have their talk and Amanda completely breaks down at the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with Robby and his Instagram followers. And, like, same girl. That sounds terrifying.

ROBBY: I just don’t understand. Why would you do this?

AMANDA: Honestly, this was just a paid vacation away from my kids. Don’t push it.

THE FANTASY SUITE DATE

The three remaining couples sit down with Chris Harrison and are told that this isn’t just any date they’ll be going on, but a fantasy suite date. So no more dressing in drag or hot tamale eating contests, the cast members will actually have to, like, connect with one another tonight. Wow. This show is wild.

Everyone pretends to be shocked by this news but, like, let’s not pretend that y’all haven’t been screwing on sand dunes all summer long. Please.

Lacey professes her love for Daniel and he’s like, “yes let’s make this Facebook official.” And they say romance is dead. Tbh this is the first time I haven’t been completely disturbed by Daniel’s presence. You’ve really changed him, Lacey.

Next we get to see Derek and Taylor’s date even though I completely forgot that these two were on the show. They’re really making lasting impressions here. Taylor says something about needing to emotionally and spiritually connect with Derek bang him before they can pursue something more serious.

GERMAN FRIEND: Did I get the language right? Did she just say if the sex is good they can officially date?

Yes, yes you did.

Adam and Raven have their date and Adam pops the fantasy suite question. You can literally see Nick and his sexless turtleneck flash before Raven’s eyes. She’s v nervous about saying yes to the fantasy suite because she can’t fake an orgasm be vulnerable one more time.

AFTER THE FINAL TEQUILA SHOT ROSE

Okay this segue from Raven and Adam’s date to the tell-all portion is really throwing me off. I’m feeling v confused rn. Did Raven sleep with Adam? Why is this a cliff hanger? Who is responsible for cutting the footage of this episode?? ANSWER ME, ABC.

Of course the sexual assault scandal is STILL being talked about. Like we get it, ABC. You don’t want us to morally blame you for ruining two people’s lives for TV ratings. Your message is loud and clear.

Chris brings out DeMario and Corinne for the world’s most awkward reunion.

CHRIS HARRISON: So where do you go from here?

DEMARIO: Well I’m going to therapy.

CORINNE: I am also in therapy.

Thanks, ABC! I feel SO much better about these two now!! It’s good to know they’re doing so well!

Tbh I could give a shit about the rest of these losers but this whole Kristina-Dean-DLo thing?

They put Dean in the “hot seat” and he looks low-key terrified. Like he knows that every woman in the audience wants to castrate him rn. Side note: can Chris Harrison put other people’s exes in the hot seat? Asking for a friend…

They show the whole Kristina-Dean-DLo love triangle footage and it’s still super hard to watch. Hard to watch in the sense that if I continue to watching it I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Just saying.

DEAN: *sobs watching the montage*

GERMAN FRIEND: He is an actor, yes?

YES.

Kristina keeps talking about how she will always love Dean and blah, blah, blah. She will 100 percent still bang him after this.

Dean gives a very heartfelt speech about how he still loves Kristina. He’s tearing up, I’m tearing up. The more wine I chug, the more I’m willing to forgive Dean and give him another chance. Kristina is one lucky bitch. Dean is reformed. Dean is beautiful. Dean is perfect, no man will ever measure up to how amazingly Dean has proven himself toda—WAIT. Danielle L says the FIRST interesting thing she has ever said on this show when she calls out Dean for calling her an hour after leaving the show. One. Fucking. Hour. AND HE’S STILL TRYING TO GET WITH KRISTINA.

That’s it. You’re done. Cancelled. See you in hell, Deanie Babies.

And because ABC likes to waste my time, they also bring out Robby and Amanda. They were supposedly dating outside of the show for Instagram likes but broke up because they “wanted different things.” Like, Robby wanted to respond to thots’ comments on Instagram and Amanda wanted to have a father figure free babysitter for her kids.

Meanwhile Satan’s spawn the twins are desperately trying to stay relevant by butting in every three fucking seconds into Amanda’s breakup story. Robby apparently cheated on Amanda after the show and we know this because the twins kept the receipts and are ready to blow up his spot on national television. The twins are like that friend who will key your ex’s car even though you’re the one that got cheated on, not them.

Wait. The twins are me. I am the twins.

Now we get to move on to the actual couples. Daniel and Lacey did not make it past the fantasy suites. Apparently Daniel couldn’t pretend to like Lacey for more than five seconds after hooking up. In other news, the sky is blue.

CHRIS HARRISON: Why would you say you loved Lacey if you didn’t mean it?

DANIEL: *looks at Lacey* I said I loved you? When?

And just like that, I’m repulsed again. Goddamnit, Daniel.

So I guess Raven and Adam slept together? She looks like she actually had an orgasm too. Good for you, girl. I guess all it takes to find true love is a boob job an open mind and an open heart.

Derek and Taylor prove that they are the strongest couple on this show. Derek. And Taylor. Let that sink in for a minute, k?

Whatever. I guess Derek has a big enough dick connected with her on a deeper level in that fantasy suite because they’re still in love and making it work long distance.

Taylor keeps talking about how “naked” and “vulnerable” Derek was that night and I 100 percent believe Taylor has a crying fetish. She clearly gets off on the tears of her lovers. Don’t try and tell me different.

The season ends with Derek proposing to Taylor. It’s all very staged sweet but honestly all I can think is “I really hope a twin comes out and says she slept with him.” Where’s a twin when you need one.