When you realize the reason you love ACOTAR so much is that it's a slow burn romance with them not getting together until the second book....

Ngl today alone I have seen countless men who could easily play Rhysand if they were given violet contacts and bat wings.

In my entire period of living I have seen maybe one or two people that could MAYBE pass for Tamlin if they had makeup on.

I have never, ever in my life passed a man on the street who could play Lucien or Eris Vanserra.

I didn't even really like tamlin in acotar BUT OH MY GOD. Even I feel the need to defend him with the way he's written in acomaf. ITS SO BLATANT, that he is only written this way to make way for Rhys because he's acting DIRECTLY CONTRADICTORY TO THE WAY HE DID IN THE FIRST BOOK.

I get the thing with aramantha changed him but JESUS CHRIST, THESE CHANGES ARENT EVEN LOGICAL FROM A NARRATIVE STANDPOINT.

The ending to acomaf is so ridiculous I'm going to explode. Lucien mating Elain, feyre's sisters being turned into fae for no reason, tamlin turning into fucking Grima Wormtongue, it's so ridiculous that it has no emotional impact, its just frustrating.

The stakes aren't even high, it's just OMG the king of hybern is going to turn feyre's sisters and the mortal queens into fae oh no!

And like yeah I get how traumatizing that is for Nesta and elain because they don't want it, but it's just a stupid stake from a narrative standpoint. It's completely anticlimactic. We know it's traumatizing, but we also know that these characters will get over it and the book will just chug along. Like they were human, now they're fae. Nothing else really changed.

And the whole Lucien and Elain mating situation is so dumb. Honestly the way romance is done in the book is stupid. It feels like a fanfic with the way every single minor character has to be paired up with each other.

Idk it's just dumb and the plot was really meandering and I feel like ive wasted my time.

I know I'm rambling but I really can't get over the tamlin thing, there are no words for how much it pisses me off.

Tamlin being the only high lord who held out the longest against aramantha and hybern's forces, suffering for 50 years and watching his people die for his refusal to submit, going 3 months forced to being eye candy utm and watch his people be held captive, the High Lord who didn't even want to be high lord and only wanted to play the fiddle but still rose to the challenge to try and do right by the spring court being reduced to what he was at the end of acomaf while rhysand who sexually assaulted feyre and leaves women in his court to have their wings clipped and sold off but gets sjm's version of a shitty redemption arc

This isn't even a "fun bad" series to read, it's just exhausting

another day of missing pre-acomaf tamlin and lucien back when sjm didn't violently sideline him in favor of thing 1 and thing 2

“Feyre reached out so much she invited nesta to live with her after the war 🥺🥺🥺” in the house with feyre’s mate who’s made his hatred of nesta no secret and constantly harasses her? the house filled with paintings of everyone but nesta? imagine seeing that visual reminder of how little your sister cares for you every. day. DAMN. as an act of reaching out/reconciliation it sucks because it wasn’t one. we need to recognize and respect that as the absolutely sick psychological warfare it was. feyre archeron i tip my hat to you because that was insane.

ACOTAR Headcanons - Gym AU Edition

Some just-for-fun and weirdly specific headcanons based on my own very regular observations.

Feyre: Feyre is actually pretty typical in terms of gymgoing, who tends to fall into her own zone once she has her playlist up and running. She usually starts on the treadmill and people watches before fully getting into her own zone and opting for intuitive workouts that feel right for her at the time rather than going for strict programs or plans. She doesn't sweat. She glistens. She keeps her attire pretty practical with classic, neutral leggings and a tank top. Often shows up with Rhys even though they separate to do their own thing. Honestly, everyone kind of just likes Feyre even if they don't really know her.

Elain: The Soft Gym Girl™ aesthetic incarnate and the social butterfly who makes friends with everyone in her group fitness classes. Is adored by all the older ladies who work out there and knows them all on a first-name basis, and they bond over gardening. Always has her yoga mat and shows up in paler colors and can fearlessly rock a white 'fit, often with a light wrap sweater or cardigan over her workout clothes. She somehow still always looks put-together and perfect after a workout, a low ponytail with curls/waves still intact and hint of color on her cheeks that makes it look more like she's blushing and less like she's just worked out for an hour. Don't underestimate her, though: she can hold her own in any group fitness class and loves the way they leave her feeling.

Nesta: Don't Talk to Me™. Grandmaster of the RBF, who pulls her hair back tightly in a neat, low bun or severe braid so that no strands stray from their place. She will glare at anyone who tries to speak to her/distract her and will usually completely ignore anyone who makes that attempt without even taking off her headphones. Also looks crazy hot despite it all and opts for sleek, plainer, dark outfits (usually matching sets) in cuts that show off her lean, strong form. Only shows up when she feels like it but somehow doesn't lose strength or stamina.

Amren: The Small But Mighty™, who like Nesta falls a little more into the RBF category but also gains a lot of attention by the absolutely stupid amount of weight she moves for her small stature. She's also the one you never quite know what you'll see doing: she might be deadlifting the weight of two Cassians, or she might be pulling some calisthenics in the corner. Nobody knows much about her. Nobody asks. Has been witnessed talking to Nesta; so far the only time the regulars have seen the former smile.

Mor: Bold Gear Girl. She has no fear when it comes to her wardrobe and will wear anything from unforgiving red leggings, to a bodysuit, to a one-strap sports bra. She knows she looks good and isn't afraid to flaunt what she's got, but she also gets in her zone and can keep up with the best of them in just about any type of exercise. She likes taking classes with others and absolutely kills it in Zumba, but she'll just as easily kill it in kickboxing. Also much stronger than her feminine, curvy frame gives away. When that belt goes on (and it's definitely pink), it's game time.

Rhys: Despite being called "out of shape" by Cassian and Azriel, Rhys is anything but. Like Feyre, he tends to not stand out too much aside from his looks and presence, but definitely still gets noticed for his beauty and sensuality by all the women (and a few men). Definitely dressed head-to-toe in name brand gear that fits his body beautifully to the point of being sinful. The Pretty One™ that's caused at least one gym girlie to walk into a wall or trip over something while trying to watch him. Often shows up with Feyre even though they separate to do their own thing. Has big Married Man and Loyal energy. Wears his wedding ring through every single workout. Silently judges really bad gym 'fits with Feyre. The old ladies who work out there are convinced he's the guy from their sexy billionaire romance novels and they absolutely talk fantasies about him over lunch afterwards.

Cassian: The Fit Pro™. The Trainer, unofficial or otherwise who has the training and education to know exactly how to train his body and others' to maximize both efficiency and benefits. This man is Strong™. He's also built a social media following and has accidentally become something like an influencer because of his funny, easygoing personality and wicked smile. May or may not be hypped up on pre-workout. He will program the perfect workout to meet his friends' goals but is also excellent at improvising. Always willing to train his friends. Unironically and completely intentionally wearing The Sweatpants™. The only man brave enough to ask Nesta how many reps she has left or crazy enough to do so while grinning. Will not do yoga or Zumba. Is convinced both would cause him irreparable injury. Surprisingly agile and quick with rock climbing despite his size. Cannot be left unsupervised for too long. Is universally loved by all of the old ladies and hugs them. The old men really like him too and like to share "back in my day" stories when they used to lift a lot more weight, too. Got kicked out of Planet Fitness.

Azriel: The Strong and Silent Walking Sin™, who always has his headphones on, is always wearing all black, and considers muscle-up ring dips a normal part of his warm-up. This man shows up in layers of black gym gear and is peak V-shape aesthetic, with the kind of shoulder-waist ratio that makes other guys simultaneously jealous and question their sexuality. Nobody knows much of anything about him, but he never misses a workout and he's too many people's gym crush. When that hoodie/pump cover comes off, it's all over. Hits the mat with MMA guys or Cassian on occasion and forces a submission with the former fast. He always knows more about you than you know about him and has probably somehow overheard every conversation you never wanted him to.

Lucien: Simultaneously the Endurance Guy™ and the Social Butterfly™ with a well-rounded, smart training plan. Sure, he's not as big as Cassian or as intense as Azriel, but he's also no slouch when it comes to strength training and is regularly underestimated in it despite his strong, fit body. King of bodyweight exercises with crazy stamina. He's the guy who will overlap you ten times over on the track without breaking a sweat while you're dying. He isn't as quickly noticed when he walks in, but the ones who notice him do so thoroughly. Aesthetics are his middle name. Will kick your ass in a Spartan--only Azriel and Cassian can really compete with him there. Lucien's top of the line in terms of speed and overall agility. Knows everybody's business, but keeps it to himself. Will tease you a little, but will also help you out if you have a question. Likes to wrap things up by lounging by the pool during the warm seasons. Seems like he's spent a lot of time outdoors. Can also handle the rock wall and bouldering like a pro. The old ladies absolutely adore him and keep trying to set him up with their granddaughters.

Tamlin: Pretty, But Distant. Tamlin keeps to himself and focuses mostly on strength training through weightlifting. He's strong as hell but isn't necessarily pushing himself too hard for a new PR. Never asks for a spotter and takes a few seconds too many switching through songs on his playlist. He does genuinely look good, but currently isn't putting off the vibe of someone you could get close to. Not quite getting those revenge reps from his messy breakup in yet, but he's getting there. Raises an eyebrow and stares at grunters with a look of mild annoyance, then ends up moving far more weight with ease and in silence. Unclear if this is out of pettiness or not (but it's low-key funny af).

Ianthe: The Influencer™ with a full face of makeup, a one-strapped sports bra, and the up-the-ass bike shorts trying to get the perfect selfie. Is sitting on the equipment far too long and is starting to annoy people. Spends more time finding the perfect lighting, walking around the gym trying to pick up men, and somehow always being at the front of the weight room doing hip thrusts or bent-over rows with 2 lb. dumbbells. Makes eye contact on the hip abductor.

Jurian: Slightly loud and a little competitive, but also can usually back up his talk and what he's able to accomplish. This guy occasionally disappears at random, but is overall consistent and somehow knows everybody's business (and will bring it up). Probably the one grunting at the same amount of weight Amren's deadlifting.

Tarquin: The Fish™. This man is in the pool at 5:00 a.m. every day and swims a number of laps so smoothly and quickly that Ryan Lochte is nearly able to construct a coherent sentence. When he's not in the pool, he's quietly drifting around the weight room and resistance machines. King of the lat pull-downs. He's pretty sensible overall and doesn't stand out too much outside of the pool even though he looks amazing. Also a popular choice among the old lady crowd. Had to kick Cassian out of Planet Fitness.

Varian: Amren's shadow and designated spotter even though she doesn't need one. Nobody's entirely sure what he does. He kind of just hangs out.

Helion: Gym Daddy™. Helion brings as much knowledge to the floor as he brings swagger. It's hard not to notice him and he's strong af, but somehow makes everything he does look easy and like he's not even trying. Has definitely messed with Cassian at one point or another by "easily" moving a close-to-max weight while carrying on a conversation. Somehow makes everything look slightly sexual even if unintentionally. Keeps thorough records of his training sessions and almost always has a small notebook or notepad with him to do so.

Thesan: The Machines Guy. Thesan likes a workout where he can focus and get into his own zone, and he likes to do so a bit more quietly and on his own time. He's not competitive. He's just here for his health, but is polite if approached. He's fit but isn't the heavy lifter or endurance guy that some of the others are. Pretty generally well-liked; isn't sure how to answer the sweet old ladies' comments about them "having a granddaughter!" for him but is polite about it anyway.

Sorry, I don't know Eris, Emerie, Vassa, etc. enough yet to include them, so feel free to add on!

You know what!!! Fuck you!! (Ignores canon character descriptions)

Sarah J Maas can hype up Rhysand all she wants I'm still wet for Tamlin idc

The main cast for my acotar tamlin healing fic✨

Tamlin- we know him, we love him on this side of the internet he doesn’t exactly need an introduction

Novae- A species of fae known as the partial, she doesnt have many memories but she sees potential in the ruins of the spring court…

Rosetta- A plant fae with a passion for learning about mortals and has traveled the mortal lands extensively with her dear friend. Shes one of the few fae to actively practice a strange religion…

Squid- A strange water creature who can shapeshift into a human, hes best friends with rossetta and she has accompanied rosetta on many travels to the mortal realm

Cassandra- An illryian female tired of the night court not doing anything for the women in the camps. Shes moved to the spring court with a large group of illyrians and her mates. She is the groups general. (yes. mates, plural)

(i feel pretty solid with my cast so im dropping them and hopefully some doodles soon. im attached to all of them now.)

I'm reading Acotar (almost done with book 2, but I spoiled myself a little on book 3) and Im just....I didn't super care about Tamlin in book 1 (was more obsessed with Lucien, was convinced we'd get a threesome with Tamlin/Lucien/Feyre for the longest time lol I was bobo the fool) but now as it keeps going and with every 'Tamlin sucks so hard/is such a terrible abusive person' that's going on I just....feel I'm getting protective. I'm always waiting for him doing something worse but it never comes??All the fan posts that the algorithm shoves in my face always seem to misquote/misinterpret him??? Even the him locking her up feels so exaggarated in context? Like, I even liked the idea of them not working out because they both had to learn to deal with their own traumas first, but they could've just sat down like adults about it you feel me? Tamlin isnt that bad at all (by fairy standards anyway), he's just held to some weird modern moral standard while Rhysand isn't and it's pissing me off and really hindering my enjoyment of the Night Court shenanigans (which in theory I don't even hate, I think the characters are kinda enjoyable, but the book is riding the NC dick so hard while constantly dunking on Tamlin for no reason? Just leave the guy alone ahh). Sorry I'm not even in this fandom really I just needed to vent my frustration somewhere!!

ARE YOU ME? This is exactly how I felt reading through ACOTAR book 1 and then going straight into book 2! I was about 3/4 of the way through ACOMAF waiting for tamlin to do the "terrible abusive thing" that everyone claims he does before I realized that it had already happened. And yeah, him locking her up a single time isn't great, but he literally thought she was going to be kidnapped and murdered. that's not him being ABUSIVE and CONTROLLING!!!

the fan posts absolutely misconstrue his character to a comical degree. Just yesterday I saw an incorrect quotes-style post of rhysand talking to tamlin going "you begged to kiss her, she begged to fuck me. we are not the same." as if feyre wasn't slobbering after tamlin in ACOTAR while he held back and kept everything cute and chaste lmao. like yall are just making shit up now.

and YEAH I couldn't enjoy ANY of the Night Court/Inner Circle stuff because so much of those sections on the book are about comparing the NC people to tamlin (or lucien) and complaining about them. Like damn yall sure are obsessed with tamlin considering you claim to hate him. I definitely have gotten super protective of Tamlin being in this fandom bc he really is a sweet character who doesn't deserve any of this!

ANYWAY I SEE YOU and if you do decide to join ACOTAR fandom on the side of Tamlin, there are other Tamlin lovers! I'm helping to host Tamlin Week (@tamlinweek2023) in 2 weeks and I've spoken to lots of lovely people who love Tamlin and are going to participate! We are here, and we are normal lmao

my favourite characters thus far: the 'villain' (tamlin), the mcs sister, the LIs (dead) sister, and the queen who died like a chapter after her second scene

Okay, maybe I'm a tad late and also had previously refused, but I finally broke down and read ACOTAR. Who knew all it would take was a pestering best friend.

Episode out now about how terrible they are. And also, how I couldn't stop reading them and how amazing they are. So yeah.

(Spoilers for the first two books as I hadn't read them all yet. But now I have. Maybe I'll do another episode...)

Ya know what tbqh I'm having a lot more fun interacting with SJM since deciding to hash tag stan tamlin but also what grinds my gears!?!? What butters my fucking croissants!?!?!

Tamlin has HOBBIES.

No no. Seriously. I have a point. Listen:

We know the following pieces of information about the Spring Court/Tamlin in ACOTAR: Most of the government falls squarely on Tamlin's shoulders because most of the old guard and the former sentries are dead, because they left the Spring Court to search for a "cure." He and Lucien actively patrol their borders and hunt for monsters that threaten humans and faeries alike. Taxes are collected once a year via the Tithe, but Tamlim absolishes the Tithe during Amarantha's rule. There are no cities. There is almost no distinction in the Court between High Fae and "lesser fae." He was a victim of abuse via his father and two much older brothers. Human slaves used to be common, but Tamlin finds his family history abhorrent and considers himself a protector type. He personally took Lucien to another Court for healing after Amarantha damaged his eye in a way that Tamlin himself could not fix. A faerie dies in his living room and Tamlin personally buries him. Tamlin takes refugees from other courts. The most important holiday is Calanmai, wherein Tamlin sacrifices his bodily autonomy and gets possessed by a god (?) in order to generate magic during the changing of seasons. He can be grouchy but he has a sense of humor; he writes silly poems for fun and plays music well enough that Feyre thinks he could make an actual career of it.

A lot of this gets re-conned, re-framed as "conservative" and sometimes actively ignored in order to attribute more positive qualities to Rhys - who in ACOTAR, is shown to be a manipulative liar who commits murder for fun and drugs/assaults Feyre. Tamlin clearly suffers from PTSD in ACOMAF but his symptoms are not "noble" or cute like Feyre. The narrative postulates that while Feyre needs to learn that she's worthy of love and freedom and that her dark past doesnt define her, Tamlin needs to be "redeemed" because his trauma is not as important or as valid as hers, and he can't be worthy of help until he repents for his "crime" of acting in ways that are - from his perspective- completely logical, and based in genuinely good/loving intentions.

In ACOWAR, Feyre states that she begins implanting/altering the memories of Tamlin in other people's heads to make them abandon him. She also steals a gift (presumably, a gift from Rhys to Tamlin) because she doesn't feel he deserves it, and contemplates burning down the rose garden which is pretty much all Tamlin has left of his mother.

This... does not make me hate Tamlin in the slightest. I read these books and actively struggle to hate him the way the narrative wants because everything about him is legitimately just tragic and pitiable.

While all this goes on the narrative goes on to reposition Rhysand - the guy who caused a lot of the main heroine trauma - as the best guy who ever lived. He's cruel to be kind, deeply misunderstood and hurting in silence. A martyr whose pain is just like the heroine's, who is an immortal ancient warrior king more powerful than any other person in the world but still somehow the narrative equal of a barely literate 20 year old woman. That sure is a choice and ya know what fine, whatever, I accept that this is the story I'm reading. But back to my earlier point:

What hobby does Rhysand have other than sex and fighting?

Answer me. Quickly.

The retcons with Tamlins character are annoying on their own because SJM clearly thinks her audience is too stupid to remember book one of her own series. But it's especially annoying for me given that Rhysand is a boring mouthpiece for the author to moralize her faerie books. As a character he's incredibly bland. There's nothing about him that's compelling because everything "bad" that he does is justified and righteous, and he can't be challenged or hurt because that would make Feyre (the other author mouthpiece) very sad. :(

Anyway remember to stan tamlin, send tweet.

Im re-reading all the ACOTARs for some unexplainable reason and holy toblerone.

Turns out Im always here for Ianthe slander. Im always here to say Nesta and Tamlin deserved better.

Im always here to say the inner circle is over glorified and Morrigan needs to get over herself.

Unfortunately im also here to say Elain doesnt deserve Lucien - but also Jurian and Vassa are better friends to him than Feyre ever was.

That being said Feyre might have the excuse of being young for all her shortcomings but i will never ever forgive her for what she did not just to Tamlin but for the whole Spring Court. The regular folks did nothing to her yet they had to suffer just cUz fUck tAmLin.

The High Fae are kinda boring. They are just humans with pointy ears.

Let them be beasts. Let them be beastly and feral.

Me rereading acotar and wondering how anyone thought he was endgame