ATEEZ as Boyfriends

Genre: soft, fluffy, suggestive

Pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

Tags: a little bit of everything <3

Word Count: 1.6K

HONGJOONG

Definitely the type of bf to fix your clothes - like if you’re going out somewhere, i can see him helping you pick out smth to wear or even styling you himself. And when you two are out, he’s constantly adjusting your fit so you don’t look bad. The type of guy wander off in the middle of a party just so he can admire you from afar

Though he isn’t too fond of being overly emotional, will hype you up to anyone who would listen and not even in an annoying way, it just so happens that the majority of his sentences start off with ‘oh, my partner..’

Loves leaving marks - biting, hickies, etc. in places only he knows about

Will call you every time he’s eating, even if he doesn’t say anything, just bc he missed you and wanted to have you around for a little bit

Doesn’t like to cuddle but does give the best kisses the kind where he just holds your chin in place and plays with the ways his lips touch yours

Ultimate king of push and pull

SEONGHWA

Ugh, the way this man would absolutely dote on his partner. Anything they wanted - he’d be all over it. Think acts of service type of love

Loves all the cheesy romantic shit, all of it - the matching accessories, matching hairstyles, coordinating outfits, taking an insane amount of cute couple photos, going to the most aesthetic date spots just so y’all can take photos together. Knows your best angles, duh

So many gifts. And expensive gifts, too! Hwa’s got super expensive taste and i feel like he’s the type of bf to dote on you so much that he wouldn’t want you to wear inexpensive clothing. Like he’ll be like, ‘oh, babe, i got you these new silk pajamas because you said mine were so comfy’ meanwhile he’s already replaced like all of your clothes

Super comfy stay-at-home dates where you do skincare and watch the latest episode of whichever drama you’re watching. Even when he’s hella busy, he’d find time to video call you so you could watch the newest episode together.

Always smells incredibly good, addictive even

Forehead kisses & top of the head kisses are his favorite

YUNHO

Textbook romantic gentleman. The type that makes sure you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, opens every door for you, never ever lets you lift a finger, and will always give you his jacket if you’re cold

Super sentimental. Like if you put together a scrapbook of all of your time together, guaranteed this man will cry. Especially if there’s a handwritten letter explaining how much you love him - he would simply be undone

Tries to remember every single detail about you so he can either plan the perfect date or gift you the perfect item. Truly works soo hard at being a good boyfriend. Also really good with birthdays. Like, scary good.

And tbh, the type of bf to call you out on your bs - like when you’re being a little unreasonable or if you’re telling him about a situation that you’re going through, i think yunho would be the type of bf to tell you when you’re wrong but in a nice way! (maybe.. he can be kinda savage sometimes lmao)

While I don’t think he’d be super into PDA i do think he’d just always be near you like close enough to reach out and hold his hand or close enough that you two would be able to talk without raising your voices

This man loves back hugs

YEOSANG

The best at good morning and goodnight texts. They somehow always make you feel loved and special

Super supportive? The type of bf to set reminders in his phone so he can wish you good luck on whatever upcoming project you’re working on. Even if it’s like the smallest thing ever, he’d be so proud of you for working toward it and even more proud when you achieve it

Really deep and interesting conversations

I think it would be so easy to be with Yeosang - like the both of you wake up together, get hungry at the same time, get sleepy at the same time, etc

It’s not that he’s not into PDA, he just forgets about it like of course he loves holding your hand, but he got distracted thinking about what he wanted to get for lunch

Laying his head on your lap is his preferred way to fall asleep

SAN

Loooooooves physical affection. Cannot get enough of it. I think his ideal would be being able to glue himself to you so two could just walk around permanently attached to each other. also I feel like San runs really fricken hot - like a cute lil heater

The ultimate hype man. It could be a pre-workout selfie, a just finished taking a shower selfie, an all dressed up selfie, a sleepytime selfie, a i just woke up selfie, IT DONT MATTER!! San is going to hype you up every single time. Which obviously does wonders for your confidence (which was his plan all along ;) )

Loves to stay in and just watch movies. Mostly so he can spend as much time as he can cuddling with you. Matter of fact, most of the dates he plans are just excuses to spend more time with you - physically and emotionally

Speaking of, San would be such a good listener! Like I feel he’d understand where you’re coming from emotionally and provide support in a positive and affirming way and never ever make you feel like your emotions are wrong or you were wrong, for that matter truly wants the best for you

And bc he loves you so much, I feel like he would also respect you a whole heck of a lot which means the first time you guys wanna do anything sexual, it takes him a loooong time to be okay with it. Like i think you would have to initiate

That said, he would absolutely blow your back out every chance he got once he got comfortable

MINGI

Loyal af. Once he makes a decision on who he likes, it’s that person FOR EVA so get used to the idea of having song mingi in your life

The wildest communicator - like, y’all abandoned texting very early on in the relationship and now exclusively communicate via selfies/photos, voice memos & memes. His voice memos are hilarious and sometimes incredibly lewd. Like will sing you an entire song that he just made up. In voice memos. Then follow it up with what he wants to do to you in excruciatingly graphic details.

While he won’t do completely matching outfits, he is super down to coordinate outfits - wear the same colors, or complementary silhouettes, something that lets ppl know you two are an ~item~

And though I think he likes being Princess Mingi, i think he would go to great lengths to make sure you’re taken care of - whatever you need, he’d get it for you.. Or get someone else to get it for you lolol

Will always pull you into his lap. He likes how easy/fun it is to manhandle you.

Loves PDA. I’m talkin full on make-out sessions, ass grabbing, hand holding, and everything in-between. good luck getting him off you!

WOOYOUNG

Likes biting. A lot. Especially the marks it leaves

Super generous. Like, the most giving man you have ever met. Will give you the shirt off his back even if you don’t ask for it. This also extends to anyone you know, especially! family. He likes knowing he’s the one taking care of you && yours

This man is crazy into fashion and i think his style would end up affecting your style, not bc he wants to but bc he just looks so cool all the time, you’d wanna match him, if you know what i mean. Definitely gives me gomez & morticia addams vibes.

Learns your favorite dishes and cooks them for you.

I think Wooyo’d be the type of bf to be a little controlling or ride the line of being a little mean just so he can rile you up. It turns him on when you get angry. But would also definitely cut it out if he saw you weren’t having it.. He wants to fuck you, not make you mad!

Can and will makeout with you for hours

JONGHO

Would have such a hard time telling you how he feels, but has no problem showing you how he feels - whether it’s buying you a little trinket, or making sure you ate, or even just listening to you, i think you would always feel loved when you’re with Jongho

Is actually really funny? Or maybe he’s just good at learning what makes you laugh and then gets good at telling you jokes that align more with your humor

Your family would absolutely adore Jongho

Wants to experience new things with you so all of your dates are either trying out a new restaurant, or visiting a new pop-up event, or going to a new city for the weekend, anything that helps creates memories with you

Hella anti-PDA. Will actively avoid holding your hand in public. But as soon as you are behind closed doors, will be the sweetest and most loving bf - being silly/cute, soft sweet kisses, plenty of hugs (which he’s surprisingly really good at), and sooo many massages

Jongho would give the best aftercare

From Blood, Love and Courage - Chapter Thirteen.

Big thank you for all the feedback on this, guys! I know these chapters are difficult, so I appreciate you all for sticking with it. 25 notes are needed to unlock the next one. Y’all know what to do!

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve

Words - 4,756

Tag list - In the comments, please message to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“Hey, brother,” Bishop greeted Angel with at his front door, hugging him tightly, Taza doing the same as he stepped inside. “How’s she doing? And you, too.”

They all sat down, Angel sighing, rubbing his forehead with his thumb. He looked exhausted. “She’s sleeping, finally. Relented and took a pill, even though she was scared to do so. Every time she fell asleep without them last night, she had nightmares, woke up screaming, so she was scared that if she took one, she might dream and not be able to wake up. She’s been out for around six hours, though, and so far so good. As for me, tired, but this ain’t about me. It’s all about her right now.”

The men nodded, Bishop pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one up. “Take as much time as you need, to be with her, until she starts feeling better. We have things handled. We’re gonna find who did this, but I can’t let it take over us entirely, Angel. We have too much heat with the cartel, too much shit there to give this our full focus, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t gonna find the guy who did this, because we will.”

“Guy’s, plural,” Angel corrected. “It was three of them.”  

Their faces crumpled in the wake of hearing that. “What the...” Bishop began, shaking his head. Taza sat stony, shaking his head slowly. Three... the idea of one was bad enough, but three? “Did she get a look at any of ‘em?”

Angel sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Nope, all wore balaclavas. All she could tell was two were white and one was black, and the black guy had gold grills on his teeth. That was it.”

“I don’t wanna be that guy who makes assumptions on race or aesthetics, but what do you think? Banger?”

He shrugged. “Could just be some dude into hip hop culture, who the fuck knows? She didn’t really give me much to go on, the car they drove was dark red or purple, and she thought Chevrolet. Ain’t no CCTV cameras out on the streets, but she thinks it happened by the food warehouse, I presume it was Delgado’s, it’s the only one on that street which borders an alleyway.”

Bishop nodded. “We’ll call in there on our way back, see if they have CCTV looking into the alleyway, get the footage from the previous night and run it back, see if we can find anything of use.”  

Angel was quiet for a few moments, before something hit him like a bolt of lightning, information that hadn’t immediately penetrated his thinking when it had been relayed to him by Lily in the early hours. “Her phone. They took her phone.” He shot out of his seat, entering the bedroom quietly, retrieving his phone and coming back out. “I can’t fucking believe I didn’t think of this before. She’s always losing her damned phone, usually leaving it in her car or losing it down the couch cushions.”  

He opened the find my iPhone app, clicking on Lily’s device details, waiting for the screen to load. If they’d taken her phone with them, of course, it’d show them exactly where her attackers were. The map loaded, Angel sighing. “Fuck.” Bishop and Taza looked expectant. “The map is showing it’s still close to the same place they grabbed her. They probably threw it into a dumpster or down the drain or something. Either way, they don’t have it.”  

Just then, they were joined by Lily, looking very sleepy still, buttoning up the red and black plaid shirt of Angel’s she’d borrowed when she realised they had company. It was horrible, watching her limping over to them. She looked so broken, both physically and mentally, her face drained of anything resembling her usual sparkle.

“Hey sweetheart, how’d you sleep?” Bishop asked, relieved to see her looking much less traumatised than she had, but sad when he took in her bruised, swollen face, and her legs that looked like she’d been kicked by an angry mule.  

“I think I’m still half there,” she spoke, a small smile tilting her lips as he reached for her fingers, giving them a soft squeeze which she reciprocated.  

“Can I give you a gentle hug?” Maggie had told him of her injuries when she’d arrived home, Bishop lying there in bed feeling horrified to hear the details, as naturally anyone with a heart would. She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist when he stood. “We’ll find them, we will. They won’t get away with what they did.” he promised, kissing atop her head, Lily looking up and nodding.  

“I know. Thank you.” She reached up and kissed his cheek, moving to greet Taza, who hugged her with equal gentleness, Lily closing her eyes, breathing in his scent. When she’d been all alone in the dark of her trauma, it had been him to find her and lead her back out. What he’d done for her, it had been everything her poor, traumatised state hadn’t known she needed, but those actions, his words, they’d been instrumental in helping her realise she was safe. “Thank you for looking after me. I love you.” she whispered, stroking his cheek.

He kissed her forehead fondly. “I love you too, Lilypad.” Sitting down again, he was surprised when she took a seat beside him, lifting his arm and winding it around herself, resting her head against his chest. He cuddled her, smiling sadly, Angel viewing the scene and feeling a little glimmer of relief. At least she still trusted some men in the wake of what had happened to her. Then again, he saw clearly that Taza had become like a father to her, and after suffering something so horrific, something she needed was the closest thing she had to a dad to comfort her. He was most definitely that.

“I know you might not want to talk about it, or relive it any more than you likely already are, but is there anything else you can tell us about the guys, baby? Angel relayed to us what you explained to him, but the more we have to go on, the better the chances we have of finding them quickly. If you can’t, that’s okay. Everything in your own time.”  

They were there to help her, she knew that, and she knew no matter how scary it was to relive it, she had to think hard, to give them something, anything. Those guys, they were walking around out there without a single care, free to do it again to another woman. She couldn’t let that happen if she could help it.  

She tried, attempting to focus, pull something from her memory, but her body put a stop to it when a huge shiver ripped through her, curling tighter against Taza, who stroked her hair in soothing. “Stop, it’s too much. You’re not ready yet, it’s alright.”

“I’m sorry.”

He tutted softly, two other sets of dark, sympathetic eyes upon her thinking exactly the same words that Taza spoke to her. “Don’t you ever say that again, because you’ve nothing to be sorry for at all, alright?” She nodded, sighing. They didn’t stay much longer, needing to carry on with club affairs after doing to negotiate the handing over of the CCTV footage they needed, Angel sending Taza a screenshot of the location of Lily’s phone, so he could look around and retrieve it for her.  

It was brought back to her later that evening by EZ, Jodie with him, her friend bursting into tears as soon as she saw Lily, rushing to where she was on the sofa and bundling her in a careful hug. “I’m so sorry, honey. Oh my god, look what they did, those bastards. I love you so much.” she cried softly, Angel jerking his head in the direction of the kitchen, leaving the girls to talk among themselves.  

“How’s she doing?” EZ asked, taking the beer his brother offered.  

“Up and down,” Angel began, sitting at the small table. “She ain’t her right now, not at all. Doesn’t talk much, keeps breaking down, wants to be asleep a lot so she don’t gotta deal with it, but equally is terrified of it in case she has a nightmare, like she did last night. And then there’s all the pain she’s in. Even with painkillers, she winces, cries out sometimes, can’t really get comfy. It’s... fuck. It’s fucked up, man. They fucking literally ripped her apart. They tore all the petals off of my Lily.”

EZ reached for his arm, squeezing tightly, Angel’s analogy about torn petals hitting him hard in the chest. “If there’s anything I can do, just say the word. You guys alright for groceries and all that? Does Lily have everything she needs?”

He was touched by the concern shown by his brother, Angel thinking on it. “We’re fine for everything, but I guess Lily could probably do with more clothes.” He then thought on it more. “I know it’s a big ask, but could you take the van to her place and bring Charlie back here? His cage is enormous, it won’t fit in Jodie’s car. I’d go over there and get him myself, but I can’t leave her. She goes into panic if she can’t see or hear me. I went for a piss in the early hours of this morning and she had a full-on meltdown to have woken up without me there.”

“Yeah, I’ll go back to the clubhouse as soon as we leave and get in the van, take Jodie up there with me.”

Angel’s lips thinned a little. “Do that, but don’t count of her being of help trying to get Charlie out. He don’t like her. He’s fussy, but he can be bribed with snacks, grapes and trail mix are his favourites. Just tap your shoulder and he should jump right out, but have a second person there with a towel to grab him and put him into his carry bag. Also, don’t get the carry bag out right away because if he sees it, he’ll refuse to leave the cage. He’ll think you’re taking him to the vet, which he hates.”

EZ nodded, wishing in that moment that Lily had a dog. Dogs were easier than the parrot with attitude in shades he’d heard plenty about. He’d do it without question, though, roping in the efforts of a third, Jodie getting a list from Lily of stuff she wanted her to bring back before they left. Within the hour, they’d gotten the van sorted, found a third semi-willing person to help, and were within Lily’s apartment, EZ trying his best with a very reluctant Charlie.  

“You want this? Come on, come out and get it,” he spoke to the bird softly, Charlie pacing, unimpressed at the presence of one person he didn’t like, and two he didn’t even know.  

“Mama!”

“I’m going to take her to you, she’s at Angel’s place.”

“Bro time!”  

“Yeah, but you have to come out first. Come on,” he further encouraged, Charlie stepping nearer, eyeing the piece of grape EZ held. Just when he thought he was about to take it... “Son of a!” he exclaimed, pulling his hand away, Charlie whistling and shouting in triumph for having taken a chunk out of EZ’s hand.  

“Yo, that bird means business, homes,” Coco spoke, towel draped over his shoulder, ready to try and grab him once EZ had him out... not that he expected such to happen quickly.  

“Fuck you!”  

“Yeah, fuck you too for biting me!” EZ exclaimed softly, sucking his bloodied finger, Charlie now in full on, nonsensical jabbering mode, pacing his cage angrily.  

Coco looked on with wide eyes “He sounds possessed!” he neared the cage, his mouth comically downturned, grabbing the trail mix box and shaking it. “Hey, homeslice! You want this?”

“Mama!”

“Yeah, we gotta take you to where she’s at, man! Come on, Charlie, come get your eats.” He took the lid from the Tupperware box, holding it out, Jodie sitting back on the couch, trying not to laugh. The bird neared the open cage door, side stepping with caution, eyeing the two men suspiciously. He leaned over, head near the box, Coco swapping the hand holding it and putting his arm by the door, slowly moving the food away, Charlie finally stepping onto his arm. “Get the towel, but slow, man, so he don’t get suss.”  

As soon as EZ moved, Charlie suddenly flew at him, biting his arm and hand again. Because he had wing damage from a previous botched job at clipping one of his wings in his previous home (Lily had gotten him as a rescue) he couldn’t fly far, and only in a circle, but that did nothing to stop him escaping across the room and hiding beneath a table, jabbering angrily, shouting fuck on repeat before slipping away underneath the couch.  

“Well, he’s out of the cage,” Jodie shrugged.

“You might not want to look so entertained by all of this, honey,” EZ spoke, narrowing his eyes at her, smiling eventually when she blew him a kiss and stood up.  

“Jodie, you lift the other end of the couch, EZ, you grab him,” Coco asserted.

EZ grasped his kutte, raising his eyebrows. “I think Charlie has made it clear that I’m not his favourite person. Here, I’ll take the couch, you grab the bird.”

“Aw, hell, man!” It made sense, though, he supposed, since Charlie had actually come to him in the first place. Grabbing the towel, he crouched down, Jodie and EZ grasping the couch and lifting, Coco impressed that EZ’s girl was stronger than she appeared, quickly diving at Charlie and managing to secure him within the hug of the dark blue towel. “Bag! Get the damned bag!”

Jodie put her end of the sofa down, pulling out his travel bag from the shelf beneath the huge cage, unzipping it, Coco carefully and quickly stuffing him in there, the towel too before she zipped it, Charlie making angry sounds of protest from within. Coco pulled out his phone, about to send Angel a message with the news that the bird had been secured, seeing another message from him, cringing a little.  

“What?” EZ asked, nodding at his phone.

“Ahh, Angel messaged me. He said if he’s being difficult to put on oven mitts, stop him from being able to bite.”

He was incredulous in the face of this information. “And you’re telling me that now, after the little bastard bit me three times?”

Coco grinned a little nervously. “My bad!”

With Jodie carrying a disgruntled Charlie in one hand, a bag of Lily’s things over her shoulder and Charlie’s day perch in the other, the guys followed her out, each at one end of the huge cage, wondering how to negotiate the narrow staircase with it, since Lily’s apartment block didn’t have an elevator.  

“I swear, if you tell me to pivot, I will fucking end you, bro.” Coco spoke as they turned, bringing the top down so it didn’t hit the light.  

“I’m not Ross Geller and this isn’t a couch, so you’re good.” EZ laughed, Coco bracing his shoulder against the frame as they carefully turned and took the next flight of stairs. Thank fuck Lily only lived on the third floor.  

The effort was worth it when they arrived at Angel’s, setting up the cage while Jodie handed Charlie over, Lily undoing the zip fastener of his bag, the bird scampering out. “Mama! Mama, mama, mama!” he called repeatedly with joy, bouncing up her arm.

“Hey honey, hey. I missed you so much, yes, I did,” she cooed softly, Charlie settling upon her chest. It was the first time Angel had seen her actually smile properly, and in that moment, he knew he’d done right by requesting for Charlie be brought over. “Any issues?” she asked, stroking under his wing as he clicked his beak happily.  

“Angel’s message about the oven mitts wasn’t read in time to prevent him biting me,” EZ began side eyeing Coco, “but it’s all good. You got band aids, Angel?”  

Angel snorted softly, sitting down next to Lily. “Hurts, don’t it?”

“That beak is like a razor.”

His eyes widened, pointing across his apartment. “Bathroom cupboard.” Once he’d gotten himself patched up, the three left, Lily thanking them for their efforts, changing into her pyjamas that Jodie had brought over for her and taking a seat on the couch. She was a little fuzzy headed from the second painkiller dose, but still very sore between her legs.  

“Do you wanna rest your legs up on me? Would that help?”  

She was touched as ever by his concern and willingness to help. However, what she needed him to help her with, she truly didn’t want to ask.

“It’s because I need a pee, and I’m too scared to go and take one. It burns so much,” she confessed, Angel a little confused.

“We got numbing cream, though?” He’d fetched it out of the bathroom cupboard specifically so it would be there for her to use. He couldn’t help but note the stark contrast, though. Usually, it would be used by him to numb the end of his dick to the point where he could rail her around the bedroom for hours. Never once did it think it would be used for what it now sat there in wait of.

Lily looked uncomfortable, blinking rapidly, her mouth twisting into a grimace. “I know, but I can’t. I don’t want to... can’t touch myself, to put it on. I just...” she shook her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face.  

She didn’t even need to ask the question. “Do you want me to put it on for you?”  

She nodded, Angel picked Charlie up, putting him on his day perch and then taking her hand, leading her to the bathroom. “I know it’s probably the last thing you want to see. It feels bad, so I can’t even imagine how it looks. It’ll likely put you off ever going back down there again for life.” she muttered, her voice shaking, Angel stopping her, wrapping her in a careful hug.  

“Don’t you ever, ever think that. Alright?” he began, stroking her face lovingly. “I love you, every last inch of you, whether broken or not, every part of you to me is beautiful, and nothing changes that.” She nodded, walking to the toilet and closing the lid, taking her pj bottoms off while Angel washed his hands thoroughly. He braced himself, for what he was likely to see, but once he got level with the mess she’d been left in... nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.  

He took a deep breath, steeling himself, applying the cream, feeling like his insides were tearing in two. Seeing it, what they’d done, it made it even more real.

“Hey, it’s okay, baby,” Lily soothed, watching him unable to hold the tears back.  

“No, no it isn’t,” he sniffed, Lily pulling him up as she stood, putting her arms around him as he cried on her shoulder. “I can’t break down! I have to be the strong one, be there for you! None of it is okay, seeing it up close, what they fucking did to you. What they did, fuck! Fuck!” he continued to cry, anger flooding him. “They will die in pain, this I fucking promise you, sweet pea. Horrific fucking agony for daring to put you through that.”  

“Shhh, I know, I know. And this affects you as well, it isn’t just me. I want to be here for you in all of this, too,” she soothed, hands rubbing his back.  

“Nah, nah. I gotta fucking man up, I can’t fall apart.” He took a deep breath, pulling back, drying his eyes on the back of his hand. Lily knew then that this is how he had to deal with it, get over all the emotions that had been stirred by what had happened to her; he had to be the strong one, the pillar, the protector.  

“And you’re what’s getting me through, you are,” she stated emphatically. “It’s okay for it to be too much at times, though, and I want you to remember that, alright?”

He nodded, kissing her head, turning to rinse his hands again before his fingertips went numb, Lily turning and sitting back down to take a pee with a relieved sigh; she didn’t feel a thing. If only numbing cream would be applied to her heart and mind, where she felt everything entirely too sharply. Heading back to the lounge, she lay against him on the couch, the comfort of her blanket that Jodie had brought too swathing them both, having another little cry against his chest.

Gladly, she dozed off, but it wasn’t for long, being awoken from nightmares to the sound of her own screams, Angel rushing from the kitchen to wrap her in his arms, the only place she truly felt safe. As long as he held her, nothing bad could happen. No one could ger to her. Once again, she lay against his chest, stroking the smooth skin, the scent of him making her feel comforted.  

After she’d settled, they sat and ate dinner, Lily only really picking at the plate of chicken and vegetables before her, her appetite extremely diminished. He didn’t press about it. She’d eat when she was hungry. By the third day after her ordeal, though, with her only nibbling at rice crackers and granola bars, he started to become concerned.  

“Protein shakes,” Maggie began, after she’d returned his call once done seeing a patient. “Long term they aren’t ideal, but at least you’ll be getting calories into her. How’s she doing today?”

“Those I can do, I have about five different types of protein powder here. As for how she’s doing, still up and down. She had a mute day yesterday, just sat there staring, I couldn’t reach her at all. This morning she’s been a little chattier, though. She put Charlie in his harness and took him outside just now, so she’s getting better about me not always having to be so close by. There’s no way she’s ready to be left by herself yet, though. She’s still too emotional.”

“What did you say to explain her absence at work, and the gym?” she asked, rifling through her desk drawer for her aspirin. She had a headache, Cady keeping her awake for most of the night, this time convinced her wardrobe was a time machine, and she was going back to ‘lay siege on the bad men!’ as she’d put it, her toy guns and sword strapped to her. Bishop had taken over at 3:30am once he’d arrived home.

“That she was beaten up and robbed, and didn’t get a look at the guys. In the interests of not too many people asking questions, that’s what we’re telling everyone other than close friends, making it look like it sadly can’t be solved. Mentioning rape brings up all the DNA shit, plus the fact Lily doesn’t want a bunch of people knowing either. She’s ashamed, poor thing.” His shoulders dropped as he sighed, the movement doing little to counteract the tension he felt. It was tough, looking after a rape victim, exhausting, if he was honest, but it wasn’t about him or what he felt, and he’d never make complaint. He had to be there for her, for everything she needed.  

“Well, Obispo has been looking into it in his own time, even used Josh’s copy of Photoshop to see if he could get a anything clearer from the CCTV footage. Nothing as yet, though. With balaclavas, they’re just not easily distinguished.” Maggie lamented, Angel feeling something pull in his chest, that his president had done such for them. It was a gesture he’d be sure to show his gratitude over. With the car being a stolen vehicle, they had very, very little to go on, and it made Angel feel useless, especially since any noises at night made Lily stir and immediately think it was them, coming back to do it all over again.

They’d ruled out any retaliation from the cartel (absolutely not their style) or other clubs (Lily would have been given a message if it had of, they would have been told the direction it had come in and why) so that left them with very few leads. He saw how much it haunted her, too, hanging over her constantly as she tried to piece her life back together in the wake of it.  

A week after it had happened, she finally felt okay with the idea of leaving the house, Angel taking her down to the clubhouse, where she had many big hugs from many big guys waiting for her upon her arrival. Like normal, there was one she gravitated towards, seating herself on the couch, Taza taking hold of her hand.  

“How’s my champ?”

Her sigh of lamentation answered his question before she’d even spoke. “Shit. I still can’t sleep properly unless I take the pills, and they make me feel so groggy after I’ve woken up that I don’t like relying on them. At least I’m starting to heal, though, wounds wise. Everything is a little less sore than it was. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to go on after all of this. The idea of going back to work, or being anywhere Angel isn’t, and I just start trembling and can’t stop. Even here, with you guys, who I all love and trust, I don’t quite feel right.”

Taza was thoughtful for a few moments. “Would a support group help, perhaps? For you to sit and discuss it with other women who have gone through the same ordeal as yourself?”

Her eyes immediately widened, startled at the very idea. “No, no. I can’t talk about it. I told Angel what happened and that’s the last time I ever want to explain it.” She paused, squeezing his hand. “I didn’t mean for that to come out as sharply as it did.”  

He cocked his head, hand squeezing hers in return. “Like I’ve told you so far, you don’t have to ever say a single thing about it if you’re not ready to. I just thought perhaps, and you wouldn’t even need to go into detail over what happened, women who had experienced it as well could share advice on how to cope, to be able to carry on in the wake of it. If you don’t want to, though, then no one will force you into it.”  

It had been a big step for her to leave the house, let alone go anywhere that wasn’t a place she was familiar with. She knew Taza was merely trying to help, and his words did sink in a little, Lily wondering if maybe it might be a good idea eventually, when she was feeling up to it. She knew she had to go back to as much of a normal existence as possible sooner or later, and give Angel back his life as well, since she still couldn’t deal with the idea of him not being close to her. The previous morning, she’d awoken to an empty bed, flying into blind panic when she hadn’t been able to find him in the house, only for him to step back through the front door after going out to do a simple repair on his bike. It had taken her a whole hour to calm down again.  

Such were her feelings of unease, she was only able to stay for a further hour, starting to panic when a few hangers on turned up at the clubhouse, people she didn’t recognise, bolting through the bathroom door and locking herself in when a couple of other Mayans from Yuma showed up unexpectedly. It took Angel twenty minutes to coax her back out again.  

“You must be tired of this,” she sighed, once they’ve arrived back at his.  

He put his arms around her, kissing her hair. “Never, you understand? However long this takes, I’m gonna get you through it. We’re in this together, you hear?”  

She did, but she knew that in order to get through it, she’d need to eventually stop seeing him as her security blanket.  

Such was much easier said than done.

@nagasleeps​ ... you unknowingly made me sweat blood upon getting the prompts lmfao 😅 (fake dating?? spo rT S??? so many things, none of which I’m into asgdsfafsd,,,) 

Getting over the initial turmoil and the need to hire a deep web hitman to assassinate me, however, I thought about it… and yes, I’ve always liked the aesthetics™ of figure skating and racing, so it wasn’t ~that~ hopeless of a case,,, All in all, I ended up revamping a scene from a half-done fic to feature the LoV (instead of the Todofam bc latter are the og cast in the other thing so they were out of bounds but sssh)

I was vibrating when you reacted to the Happy Feet joke, so I really really hope you’ll enjoy the rest just as much!! ✨ MERRY LATE CRAMPUS AND A HAPPY NEW YEEEEAH

OH right: have an ao3 link that will likely read better lmao

“Can I?”

The question itself takes everyone for a loop, but the real catch that makes heads turn is the barely contained excitement in Hawks’ voice. Then there’s his face, too, which is that of a kid on their first festival.

It quickly turns into an embarrassed blush that he tries to hide behind the collar of his jacket, but the damage has already been done- not only did he speak up like that, but it happened just a split second after everyone has unanimously started to move on.

“Can you?” grunts Dabi into the awkward silence with a raised brow, nodding towards the ice rink. He was a few steps ahead of them already, targeting what seemed to be the nearest punch stall available.

Hawks tagged along for the Christmas fair visit in Deika because he figured he might multitask and try this buddy thing with Jin and also catch a few snippets of info, but watching the kids slipping around on the ice when they stopped by the rink… did things to him. Nostalgic, dangerous things.

“You skate, Hawks?” Himiko asks with a glint in her eye. She also doesn't hesitate to turn back and bounce towards the rink, obviously interested in… either him, the fact, or the place itself. He's yet to get a grasp on the girl.

“ … ” His brows pull up as he sulks on behind the makeshift barrier. “... I could. A little.”

She hops against the railing, balancing over the dangerously unstable structure. “Oooh, that's neat! What are we waiting for then?”

Wait, we?

Hawks is almost surprised enough to say it out loud, which… nice save. That sounds all kinds of counterproductive.

Doesn't help with the emotion reflecting on his face, though.

“What’s that face for?” she asks with a pout, looking almost offended before hopping back down. “I’m not going to pass up some fun, if you’re going, I’m going, too.”

“Ah---”

“Me, too!! Me, too!!!” pops Twice’s head up from nowhere between them.

“--- I see.”

“Well then,” Himiko says, her grump already forgotten as she's planting a hearty pat on Jin's head. “Can you skate, Jin?”

His brows, if they exist, inch closer as he squints, as if thinking… but he also immediately says a plain “Hell no.”

“Want me to teach you, then?”

That one rouses a confident “HELL YEAH!!” on the other hand, and he pulls on the drawstrings of his hoodie with such force that he not only disappears up to the nosetip, but an audible ripping sound also conveys the hoodie’s dislike of the abuse.

“Buckle up, then!" Himiko states with her hands on her hips. "First we’ll need some shoes, though. Also, you should get up from the ground, can’t skate like that.”

The man jumps straight into a salute upon hearing that. Considering that his coat is hanging off his head like a tent, it's quite a sight. “Aye aye, Toga sensei!!”

Hawks can’t help but let the uncertain hum break free; he is not sure he’s ready to make a clown out of himself… or that he could still stand upright at all, as a baby bird he was quite a midget. And a lot closer to the ground in case he hit it, making it less, well, scary.

“Mister, you coming too, right?” asks Himiko turning back to the two leftovers of the group.

“Oh…? Oh, sure! Ha ha…” he starts, the nervousness hardly hidden in his voice.

A stone falls from Hawks’ heart; there’s another clown in the making…

The old man (?) is so full of it, though. Just look at him. The only thing holding him back from stuttering is state of the art bullshitting skills…

“--- it is a highly refined form of showmanship, of course I---” 

“You’re so full of shit, old man.”

… IT WASN’T HIM. IT WASN’T HIM WHO SAID THAT, RIGHT?!

Said old man’s monologue stops with a soft ‘ah’ of mixed shock and horror… followed by both hands pressed tight over his wounded pride and heart. Not even the mask can hide the damage done.

“Dabiii, you can’t just steal the big man’s thunder like that…” speaks up Jin as he peels a hole for himself on the hood to look out of.

Oh, thank GOD.

The offender isn’t shaken by the callout in the least.

“He should just admit he can’t skate,” Dabi shrugs, turning back to wherever he was headed before the minute disturbance began. “Anyway… I’m off to drown myself in mulled wine or whatever they have for sale. Smell y’all later.”

Yeesh… that’s cold.

… actually, getting Dabi alone out of the picture has made this issue of being seen stumbling around half as intimidating. Which Hawks isn’t gonna complain about.

A few minutes later he’s already received his pair of skates and is mentally preparing for the task at hand. And also trying to calm down, because honestly? He’s excited. 

First things first, though, for a change his wings are more of a liability while doing this, so he gets rid of most of the feathers. Only after piling them up in the corner of the coat (more along the lines of 'bag') check room does he try the skates from a few angles on the plastic covered ground. They may be rented, but in comparison to the pair of battered ones he found by a trash container as a kid, few sizes too big then and now just as small, anything shone as long as they fit the task.

With a deep breath, he decides to give this a try and steps into the rink. One leg, then the other… a slow start at low speed, but he’ll have to remember how to stop as well… Yeah, this will do. 

Having gained some confidence on the field, he also manages to get out of the way of Toga and Twice as they burst onto the ice with reckless abandon, the latter obviously having no experience in the rink as he finishes the action mopping up every person and shaved particle in his wake.

Hawks skates up to him with a raised brow as Himiko giggles on and makes her rounds around the sprawling man. "You okay there, mate?"

His face that peeks out of the fluffy hoodie still pulled closely around his head looks either really focused… or 100% out of it. Maybe embarrassed, or having a religious experience. Hawks can't tell. In the end, he summarizes his status as follows:

"... yes."

“I told you, didn't I?” chips in Himiko, too, now that she’s over her giggling fit. “Can’t skate while on the ground. Though, if someone can do it… it’s probably you.”

"I'd say he's still got better chances with the usual method," Hawks muses out loud before offering a hand. (Not the best idea. Jot that down, Hawks: Bubaigawara Jin not only is nimble, but also heavy. Easily two-times-your-weight heavy if wings are not included. Do not engage in close combat.)

Nearly ending up on the ice aside, he notes that the number of people in the rink has dwindled down quite a bit in the past minute. Whether the masses are intimidated, afraid, or just conscious of the dumbassery of the big guns, Hawks doesn’t know.

Nor care about, really- more space for him to fuck around. Speaking of which…

He leaves the two jokers behind as Toga starts to legitimately tell Twice how to stand on the ice, and picks up just enough speed to test whether he can do another thing he usually can’t because of his wings.

The first attempt doesn’t go all that well, as he nearly slips when the skate he’s balancing on hiccups upon a deeper trail cut by others; on the second, he manages to stand on one leg, which is half of the battle, alright. He takes a second of a breather to stretch his legs before taking the route back towards the entrance again, checking in on how Twice is faring while he’s at it; seems to be going well for him. A little shaky, but he doesn’t fall ass backwards anymore.

He takes a deep sigh to collect some second hand inspiration, then shoots off to where Mister Compress’ hat has entered the field.

Hawks lifts a leg again, but this time, he also reaches behind his back to get a hold of the blade that should be riiight about… there!

Just sliding in a straight line and not stretched enough for this shit so it hurts like hell? Yes.

It would hurt even if he had stretched, to be frank.

But!! One day, he’s gonna do a legit Biellmann spin, you just watch.

“Why, Starling…!” Mister calls out with an air of awe, the doom and gloom finally lifting from his stance as the blonde is shaking his leg loose. He does stay suspiciously close to the entrance all along, though. “This comes to you as easy as flying does!”

“Could be worse,” he yells back as the momentum from the bend takes him the opposite direction.

Frankly, some may see it as cheating… but his feathers are an amazing addition he's gonna use to the fullest when on ice. So what if he has sonars to know how and where he’ll touch ground, or where to look for his feet from behind? Anyone with functional legs can do this without the help, they just need a little more practice. And why wouldn’t they? This is as close as anyone else can get to flying themselves, and boy is it a lot of fun!!

In fact, he’s so psyched that he does a pretty decent, simple Axel, nailing the landing after. Nice~

Hawks doesn’t bother opening his eyes for the next few minutes, just enjoying the chilly wind pinching his face and ears even pinker. Only then does he look up when someone with a whiff of some peach flavored alcoholic drink is about to cross his way… and goes as far as holding him by the waist, even if it’s for the fleeting moment he needs to grab his arm and spin them around in a circle.

“Not bad for a chicken.”

What the fuck, it’s Dabi.

The suspiciously happy man smirks over the baffled expression that appears on the hero's face. “You should check whether there’s a Happy Feet on Ice project, you could even make it.” Having said that, he gives Hawks a spin and joins him for the next round across the rink.

Wait a goddamn sec…

The blonde looks around with mild suspicion; he’s just noticed that Dabi is keeping up with him fine, which means… he can skate? “I thought you didn’t do, like, sports?”

He is pretty adamant on whining and moaning whenever the need to do anything but stand around menacingly arises… which is understandable, since, um… isn’t this a little… painful with a Frankensteined body like that?

Actually, it definitely is painful, because there’s one--- scratch that, now it’s two red stains on the white shirt poking out from under that ridiculous coat, and--- and blood dripping from one of his elbows, what the sincere fuck. Can he not feel that?!

“Spiked enough to do some stupid shit,” comes the enlightening sigh of an answer as they take the curve at rather high speeds, the faint smell of something not punch like also apparent on his breath. Makes the fact of him coming up close again less alarming, at the very least; a drunk (if not high as a kite…) Dabi averages out as more annoying, and less of a threat. And double the creepy, but that’s beside the point.

“You ready, birdie?”

… okay, maybe there is some room left for worry.

“Ready fo… huh?” The villain has his hands firmly around Hawks' waist now, as if preparing to--- no, there’s no way, he’s such a stick man, but still, the mere possibility…

“Fly!!!”

“WhaaAA---?!” By the time he realizes that Dabi really has that exact thing on his clearly not quite lucid mind when picking up some more speed on the straight line ahead of them, he’s already airborne. Hell if he’s counting how many turns he is doing, but damn it all, he has bigger problems at hand- first, he's actually getting dizzy, and he’s never dizzy with the exception of concussions and being sick, which is concerning, but maybe it’s due to fear. Second, he needs to recalculate his fall right fucking now, because this cackling asshat has managed to throw him quite high and he's also off-balance. He has trouble landing on solid ground when plucked near clean like this as-is, fuck, he's falling already, fuck fuck fuck fUCK---

It costs him a nearly sprained ankle, some panicked arm and wing flapping and an instant heart attack, but he manages to stick the landing somehow. He’s shaking like jello as Mister claps on and Jin and Himiko cry an awed WOOO HOOO, though. In fact, his legs that he’s using as something to lean on now are about to finally give in under him.

Hawks also just about gives into the temptation of collapsing on the spot as his momentum dies off at last… if not for some fucker capitalizing on the situation and dipping him for good measure.

Dabi also adds a hearty chuckle while doing so, certainly pleased at the mess the other is right now. “And here I thought you couldn’t be shaken.” 

“I saw… my life flashing before my eyes, asshole,” he breathes between wheezes, contemplating whether he should grab onto the guy, because just hanging around doesn’t make for a stable setup and he’d rather not risk one of the concussions he's been thinking of.

A cock of the head aside, all he gets is an eyeroll. “Sure seem happy about it, don't you.”

Well, now that the villain points it out… Hawks certainly is grinning like an idiot, and has been for a while. For whatever reason, he also starts giggling uncontrollably at that.

“Shut up, will you,” he snickers while trying to find something to hang an arm onto.

It’s little use in the end, because Himiko decides to slide right into Dabi’s leg, both ruining a chance for a comeback and collapsing the unbalanced circus act.

He keeps giggling through Dabi’s moans of discontent and more, though. These few minutes were the most fun he’s had in a decade, if not more.

He's coming over tomorrow, too.

Muse Aesthetic - Velari Shiku

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. ╱ “ just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl. ” ╱ pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. ╱ “ you’ll get it done before the day is up. ” ╱ guilt that isn’t yours to have. ╱ it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. ╱ chains. ╱ “ how could you do this to me? ” ╱ the sharp sting of guilt. ╱ you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. ╱ the family you never had. ╱ falling backwards through time.╱quicksand. ╱ drowning, but you don’t save yourself. ╱ “ you’re getting better. ” ╱ “ they smile like a snake. ” ╱ you’re the stars and the sky. ╱ there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. ╱ they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. ╱ “let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly. ” ╱ you edge a bit too close to the sun.╱another ghost to take your place after every stumble. ╱ deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun. ╱ rock candy melting in water. ╱ waves rise and leave the foam behind. ╱ the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. ╱ happiness is the best front a man can take. ╱“ i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before. ” ╱ you disagree; they’re more beautiful. ╱discomfort at the tiniest of touches. ╱ the sky opens up when you see them. ╱ rain comes down. ╱ poppy fields. ╱ your sanity hanging by a thread. ╱ “oh god, what have you done? ” ╱ roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. ╱ they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind.╱ you try to help, but it only got worse.╱ now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. ╱ adam & eve in the garden. ╱ a temptress in crisp button-downs. ╱ “ fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you? ” ╱ they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. ╱ the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. ╱ sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side. ╱ yves saint laurent ╱ black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape. ╱ crisp green apples piled up on the table.╱ your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. ╱ what a pretty one, they say. ╱ you laugh without humor. ╱ a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest.╱ there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. ╱ the seat of power fits like a glove. ╱ heavy is the head that wears the crown. ╱ you share a space, but not a mind. ╱ they think you are weak; you are, maybe. ╱ “ what are you going to do with all of these pills? ” ╱ an empty bird’s nest. ╱ broken pencil tips. ╱ there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. ╱ “ we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that. ” ╱ “ they weren’t there when it happened. ” ╱corruption. ╱ there’s a red string tying you together. ╱ the scent of whiskey on the horizon. ╱ “ you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. ”╱ pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. ╱ 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. ╱ you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort. ╱ always walking on sunshine. ╱ there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. ╱ hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. ╱ you drift, but you know where you’re going. ╱ no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. ╱ the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. ╱ court hearings. ╱ “ I miss you. ”╱ siblings are a funny thing .╱ they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. ╱ blackbird screaming ╱ wake in nightmares ╱ are you an illusion? ╱ I don’t feel real. ╱ who is in control?

tagged by: @kazekii <3

tagging: anyone who wants to do it y’all

I am very excited that I got tagged by @wonduhhwoman!!! (who is an excellent writer. I absolutely love everything I've ever read by wonduhhwoman, so if you’re looking for more stuff, that’s a good direction to go my friends.)

Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

Nickname: I don’t really have a solid one. It fluctuates depending on who I'm with. My friends from high school used to call me Hobo, I had a friend who called me Chief, one who called me Megatron, one who called me Master Hurricane, and I've been called Apocalypse as well as Dance Master Supreme (that one is entirely inaccurate, I assure you).

Zodiac: I heard they changed it, so, if you take that as truth, then I'm Capricorn, if not, then I'm Aquarius 

Height: 5′ 4.5′‘ says the sassy nurse I had last time I went to the doctors. She did not like that I told her I was 5′ 5′’, accuracy is key

Last movie I saw: Wreck-It Ralph 2 and, let me tell you, the movie is a trap man. I thought it was going to be all fun and games, them trying to find a steering wheel, but noooooo, then they gotta go and try to make me cry. Evil. (It was good, I loved it.)

Last thing I googled: The lyrics for Sister Cities by The Wonder Years

Favorite musician: Oh man that’s rough. WALK THE MOON, The Oh Hello’s, Autoheart, Secret Weapons, The Strike, A Day To Remember, Get Set Go, Kids In Glass Houses, AWOLNATION, and probably at least 20 more, lol. 

Song stuck in my head: Face My Fears from Kingdom Hearts 3

Other blogs: None, I hate constantly adhering to other formats. Change maketh me angry. 

Do I get asks: Every once in a blue moon. I like them though :)

Following: 158. I think I was following more, but then tumblr decided to eat itself. 

Amount of sleep: It’s gotta be 8 hours. I can sleep for way, way longer, but then I wake up like an old lady with a thousand little aches and pains in places I didn’t know could get achey. And, if it’s any less, my soul gets ejected from my body and I get possessed by a rabid grizzly bear spirit. It is a merciless beast and, when I am under 8 hours, I am a strong vessel for its bloodlust.  

Lucky number: 8, 4, 3, 11, in that order.

What am I wearing: Sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I am all about the comfort my friends.

Dream trip: Godzilla hotel in Japan, or the film locations from Lord of the Rings (those places were beautiful).

Dream job: Writing. For sure. 

Play an instrument: Lol, I can copy other people when I see what they’re doing on the piano, does that count? Also, I play a mean kazoo.

Language: Just English.

Favorite songs: Oh buddy, this is tough. I come back to these songs a lot, so I guess these are my favorites? Jenny by WALK THE MOON, Candycane Jane by WALK THE MOON, Mr. FEAR by SIAMES, Volcanos by Get Set Go, Pyramids of Salt by The Wonder Years, Don’t Tell Me What To Do by Cerebral Ballzy, Lay Me Down by Dirty Heads, Faux by Novo Amor and Ed Tullet, Manta Rays by Ludo, and The Outfield by The Night Game, though there’s a truck load more.

Random fact: A random fact, eh? Hmm... that’s tough. OH WAIT--YOU KNOW WHAT? Here ya go: anytime I find some weird thing to like (food/drink-wise) it gets discontinued. I LOVED berries n’cream Dr. Pepper, even more than I like regular Dr. Pepper (and that’s saying something) but they discontinued it. I had these chips I liked that were super organic and coated in what I swear was cocaine, and they were amazing--discontinued. Everything I love to eat/drink gets discontinued. It makes me so mad. 

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Hmm, honestly, don’t really know how to do this one. A snow flurry seems about right. Cold night in the middle of nowhere, your breath blocking the stars. The forest floor in the middle of fall. A pond as it’s beginning to freeze over. “Is that a gator or a log?” A room that is all hanging fixtures, no dressers and drawers. Clouds that are charged with lightning. Ducking when a flashlight sweeps the field, trying to snag you--

And now I've officially lost control. 

Since I don’t do what I'm told and since I am painfully shy, I will tag just a few. 

And, if y’all don’t want to do it, no sweat. I won’t be offended :)

@jaydpuppycat @debby-san @echo-106

thanks for the tag @blueshirtbell bell and for everyone who’s tagged me in a couple GTKY posts over the last week! there’s one that’s going around that i actually did a couple months ago soooo i’m just tagging y’all in this one instead (ditto what isla said about this being v long and thus under the cut) ♥ ♥

last (1-5)

drink - earl grey tea

phone call - my best friend (who got engaged! she called to talk about it haha)

text msg - 'okay good because if you went to the met gala and just didn’t tell me about it, we were gonna have some issues’

song you listened to - 'cassandra’ by abba

time you cried - lol in church today; people were talking about mothers and telling their stories and how great their moms were/are and i was just verklempt

ever..? (6-11)

dated someone twice - as in, broke up and then went back to someone/they’ve come back to me? no

kissed someone and regretted it - no

been cheated on - no

lost someone special - yeah

been depressed - no

gotten drunk/thrown up - lol no

fav colors (12-14)

gray, green, blush

in the last yr have you.. (15-21)

made new friends/mutuals - yes! love y’all ♥

fallen out of love - i don’t think i’ve properly been in love

laughed until you cried - yeppp

found out someone was talking about you - yes? not to like, flip my hair or something, but like i’m tall and loud and like people so it just comes with the territory

met someone who changed you - i think everyone you meet changes you

found out who your friends are - oh goodness, yeah

kissed someone on your FB friends’ list - lol not on the current friends’ list

general (22-51)

how many of your FB friends do you know irl - like 97%

do you have any pets - not in new york :( but my parents have 5 dogs, and my sister has 1

do you want to change your name - i go by like forty different nicknames, so not really. i will give an alias at restaurants though, or to creepy guys

what did you do for your prev. birthday - went up to boston to see my best friend from 6th grade

what time did you wake up today - 8ish

what were you doing @ midnight last night - fam ya girl was asleep

what is something you can’t wait for - to be back on the pacific coast

what’re you listening to atm - my the 101 at night playlist

have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yeah i have a cousin named Thomas who we call Tom every now and then

something that’s getting on your nerves - my neighbor doesn’t understand how thin the walls are and has been cranking the base on her slow jazz for the last five (5) days

most visited site - tumblr, ao3, and pinterest

hair color - dark brown (kinda really about the gray trend though?? someone talk me down)

long/short hair - growing out a pixie, so v short haha

do you have a crush on someone - an unrequited insta crush...haven’t been impressed by most anybody i’ve met recently

what do you like about yourself - my ambition

want any piercings - not my thing

blood type - A

nicknames - ooookay so we have chris, chrisy, stina, stiona, linds, lindsay, clinz, mama tina and mama duck

relationship status - single

zodiac - libra

pronoun(s) - she/her

fav tv/on-air shows - the 100, stranger things, queen of the south,

tattoos - also not my thing

rightie or leftie - rightie

ever had surgery? - yeah

piercings - nope

sports - so i played tennis and water polo and did synchronized swimming and swam but now i don’t really work out like ever BUT i like to watch college football and hockey and i like the aesthetics of baseball but not the actual sport?

trainers - um...like sneakers? or like do i have a PT? because yes i love converse and lolz NO the last thing i need is someone watching me work out

more general (52-58)

eating - i had chipotle for dinner

drinking - tea or a latte or hot water or a shirley temple if i’m out with friends

i’m about to watch - safia nygaard’s latest video

waiting for - PIRATE MECHANIC OH MY GOD I WILL BUILD THIS SHIP FROM SCRAP IF I HAVE TO OKAY

want - to be content and proud

get married - i hope so, but i don’t need so

career - solution architect

which is better (59-65)

hugs/kisses - yes to all

lips/eyes - eyes

shorter/taller - taller

older/younger - older

nice arms/ stomach - arms

hookup/relationship - relationship

troublemaker/hesitant - troublemaker (i can pace you, i don’t want to pull you)

have you ever (66-75)

kissed a stranger - no

drank hard liquor - no

lost glasses - yep

turned someone down - yeah

sex on first date - not for me, but hey live your life fam

broken a heart - not intentionally

had your heart broken - yeah

been arrested - lol have you seen my answers to half of these?? of course not

cried when someone died - yes

fallen for a friend - that’s the dream

do you believe in.. (76-81)

yourself - i believe in who i will be

miracles - yes

love at first sight - no

santa claus - never did

kiss on a first date - sure

angels - yes

other (82-85)

best friend’s name - nikki, caroline, amber

eye color - hazel (green/brown)

fav movie - miracle, sandlot, philadelphia story, edge of tomorrow

fav actor- katherine hepburn

god i feel like a square. it was fun though haha so if any of y’all see this and want to do it, please do! and tag me if you do it! i’m specifically tagging @nightbleeder @dylanobrienisbatman @thehundredtimesobsessed @granger--danger @bb-8

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge. 

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can.  I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan:  aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians  wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^

Gettin’ to Know Me. 😉

Rules: Tag 5 witches you wish to get to know better. Repost—do not reblog.

How old are you? — 16. Whoa, shocking, right?

What do you go by? — Free, or Eph. I’m cool with either one.

How long have you been practising witchcraft? — I started practising witchcraft in February 2017, so a little under one year. However, I’ve been a strong believer of the Pagan Paths for a little while longer; as I’ve been following Norse Paganism since March 2016, but I’ve only recently started witchcraft. c:

What type of witchcraft do you specialise in? — Hmm, I’d probably say Hedge Witchcraft & Divination; as my path was built up onto the Hedge after I kept experiencing over-exposure to the other side, and I wanted to learn how to keep myself from being scared upon waking up & seeing the dead in my room. And divination, I’ve always been the sort to experience very specific Deja vu whilst asleep or lost in thought; but I never remembered it until doing the act, as any sorta typical Deja vu moment would do, until I had a very specific thought about one of my best friends—and low & behold, she experienced the thought detail for detail only a week or two later. So! Instead of freaking out alone, I took it upon myself to learn the beautiful art of divination; specifically dream & tarot. c:

What aspect of witchcraft are you best at? — Well, as stated above; I have an uncanny amount of luck with Hedge Witchcraft & Divination. However, I’ve noticed that I’m specifically fortunate with blessings; sigils; and warding magick. Crystals and anything to do with accent herbs or plants, too. I dunno, honestly.

What is a big goal you are working towards/have already achieved? — Hmm, I guess my big goal is to learn as much about witchcraft and the different paths that I can; for personal benefit, and to help teach others about the craft. And I’m not being specific about new/baby witchlings out there; I want to be able to express knowledge to those who are a little bit sceptical, or towards those who downright hate on witchcraft & practitioners, due to the old stories of Salem. Not that I believe that my word alone will change their frightened minds, but still! I’d love to learn all about witchcraft, because I find it interesting; and want to. c:

Who do you worship? If you worship anyone at all? — Well, I follow Norse & Celtic Paganism; though I do happen to follow Norse Paganism, predominantly, and I do believe in each & every single God/Goddess/Other of both religions. However, I tend to sit beneath Loki’s Hearth; and focus & follow on his teaching.

What’s your aesthetic? — Nature; trees, forest wildlife, owls, mountains, lakes. Although I’m a big fan of cemeteries & graveyards, too! I love reblogging scenes from cemeteries, or of singular graves in a beautiful scenery, or something! :3

What are some of your favourite smells? — Hmm...I really love the smell of firewood being burnt; or coal fires; or log burners. It just has one of those smells to it that makes me feel all happy & cosy, and I love passing by fields where the farmers are burning wood, or houses where someone has a fire going. Like yas.

Do you collect anything? — Jars, books, crystals, jewellery, owl ornaments, and plants. Although! I’ve recently started working on building a bone collection, for different practises that I have yet to dabble with directly, because...bones! c:

What are your favourite tools of witchcraft? — Crystals, tarot cards, sigils, and herbs. Sea salt mixed with some water is also a favourite, and incense! c: 

What’s a non-witchcraft pet peeve of yours? — Noisy eaters, or people moving my shit two inches to the side. Like, you’re ruining my aesthetic, stop it. Or, people who are just loud for no fucking reason; which makes it difficult to live in a bungalow with my mother...because she does all of these things. -_-

What’s a witchcraft pet peeve? — Well, I know I’m gonna get a lot of hate for this one: but I really hate the witches who try to make white witches feel like scum, in comparison to POC witches. I’m not talking about the witches who try to give everyone a fair chance to be recognised; and that book document going about where only POC witches are allowed to add their spells? I think that’s gr8. However, there’re certain witches on this site who behave as though white witches should be throwing down their hats, and proclaiming they’re bad people; specifically because of their skin tone—not because of anything they have very specific control over, like an argument that took a turn b/c they chose to let it. :/

Like, I’m sorry to all those tumblr witches who think that white people should be treated like scum, because our ancestors (and present assholes) treated POC like scum; but I don’t agree with you. And I’m not a straight white cis girl who is racist & privileged, so the fuck outta here with those anon hate comments; I’m fully for #BlackLivesMatter & the support for POC that has been rocketing recently, but I just don’t agree with the treatment that y’all are giving white folk. I mean, I’ve seen literal posts where witches are demanding that their followers don’t buy from small businesses (such as those on Etsy, etc.) if they’re run by white people, because “POC are more important.” Like sure, Barbara; but deliberately attempting to ruin people’s passions? That’s not a way to help the movement for equality go forwards; it’s discriminative in it’s own way, ya walnut.

Sorry, I went off on a rant. xD But might as well be detailed, so that I have something to reference, when all of the haters come & claim that I was shoving my opinion down their throats. I hope I was respectful as possible with my opinion, bc I honestly know that a lot of witches I follow are cool beans about white people & such; or at least don’t flat out try to run people outta business, and I really just wanted to state my opinion that my biggest pet peeves are the witches who try to ruin lives and slap “POC” onto it to make it seem justified. c:

Good advice not relating to witchcraft that you can give? — Okay, so there’s this Welsh folktale that I’ve been told since I was a little girl; called Gelert. It’s a very fascinating story, and I would recommend anyone to go read it, tbh. Anyway, it’s a story about this loyal dog to the Prince Llewellyn; who protects the Prince’s baby from a wolf that has been terrorising the countryside for the past couple of months, whilst his beloved owner is out hunting for the same creature. Llewellyn returns; and sees the room of his baby destroyed, blood on the blanket that had been in the crib, the baby missing—and Gelert laying on the floor, soaked with blood. Immediately, Llewellyn loses his shit & decapitates Gelert, without taking a moment to look around; and then...he hears his baby crying. He rounds the side of the tipped over crib, and finds his kid; and the body of a wolf mangled to pieces, and Llewellyn realises his mistake of decapitating Gelert, but now it’s too late, and his mistakes haunt him for the rest of his days. He buried his most trustworthy companion, and placed a stone on his grave, and blah blah.

Anyway, my advice is to keep a level head in situations that you might find emotionally distressful. Don’t act on your first emotion, because you might end up causing more hurt than relief. Look at the situation; look at every possible angle, and once you’ve done that, make a decision that will benefit everyone. c:

Do you have any good advice pertaining to witchcraft that you can give?— Not really. The only advice I can hand is to question everything; never give up on researching things, even if you stumble across a blog that seems to be legit AF with their fancy spells & recipes, always double check; always triple check; check until you’re 100% certain that the magic you’re thinking of performing isn’t harmful towards you or your surroundings. Also, don’t allow others to declare to you what makes a real witch, or any of that shit; we’re all individuals—so own it.

Do you have a familiar? — Yes, I do! n w n My deceased cat was my beloved familiar when he was alive, and it would seem that he’s not straying too far into the afterlife, as he is often with me in both energies & spirit; I’ve bumped into him on the other side, too. He’s such a brilliant cat, and I’m so blessed to have him as my familiar; he’s always there for me, and offers me guidance & protection. c:

Altar? — Not yet! Since I recently moved from my old house, I had to take down the starts of my altar back there, and I haven’t had time to start building it up. ; - ; However, I’m planning to start building it up over the Christmas break, because I feel unsettled without a visible representation of my worship in my bedroom. :c

I was tagged by @insert-a-catchy-name-here — thank you for tagging me, dear!

In turn, I’ll tag the following people — @lunaesteria, @eyeliner-of-cups, @orriculum, @onyxmagik, and @maddiviner...because y’all are honestly the only blog names I remember straight off the top of my head. xD Plus, I do wanna see this lil tag catch on, because I think it’s pretty sweet. c: x

Huge GTKM Game

I’ve been tagged in several of these over the past several months I know I’m a mess I’m sorry and I’m finally going to answer some of them!

Tagged by @thecuriouscrusader​ @blissfulcastiel​ @glowingdean​ @casbakespie​ @adoringjensen​

no I’m not tagging anyone else in this monstrosity lol

Relationship status: Taken, just celebrated five years!

Lipstick or Chapstick: I wore lipstick every day when I was in college but now that I’m living with Boyfriend it’d be a big ol waste of time and money and also messy

Last Song I Listened To: uhhh the Star Wars: The Force Awakens soundtrack because I watched that yesterday?

Last Movie I Watched: lol see above

Favorite Color: Pink

Top 3 Favorite Shows: Supernatural, SKAM, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine (I really need to get caught up on those last two damn)

If I had a cat what would I name it: Ooooh see that totally depends I’d have to meet them in person first

Height: 5 foot 3 and one half

Hogwarts House: SLYTHERIN HISS HISS MOTHERFUCKERS

Time right now: 17:09

Average hours of sleep: lmao like under 7 right now because I keep staying up late and then waking up early by force of habit??

Favorite number: 47

Last thing I Googled: ”where do psychiatrists work” for a fic

Fictional character you want as your younger sibling: I want this answer to be Charlie Bradbury except I’d want her to be my OLDER sibling... so let’s go with Rey (sw: tfa) or Isak Valtersen (SKAM)

Blankets I sleep with: Sheet and comforter

Favorite band/artists: Oh man lmao uh Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Adele, Ed Sheeran, twenty one pilots, the Arctic Monkeys, others?

Dream trip: GREECE I want to cruise around the islands and see all the history and art

What am I wearing right now: A Corgi crop top and my new THINX undies (all y’all menstruating folk I literally cannot recommend these highly enough)

When I made this blog: THIS blog was like September/October of 2015 I think? I’m too lazy to pull up my archive at the moment. But I’ve been on and off of tumblr since 2011.

How many blogs I follow: 330ish I believe? Again too lazy to open a new tab. It’s a mix of spn blogs and multifandom ones as well as a handful of lovely mutuals :)

What do I post about: On this blog, only supernatural, mostly destiel and brothers and my tears

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your real name and ends with the first letter of your url: sap

Do I get asks on a daily basis: lmfao no

Why did I choose my tumblr url: I looove my url more than anything and tbh it happened because I came across a text post right when I got into spn (2015) about how dean and cas need to start profoundly boning and here we are :’)

My aesthetic: hot tea brewing in the kitchen, you can see the flowers on the balcony from where you’re standing at the counter, slouchy sweater brushing bare thighs, curls falling loose from your top knot. toes in the sand at the edge of the water, wide brimmed hat casting a shadow on your nose, smiling so big your eyes crinkle in the corners, licking ice cream from your fingertips. lipstick tacky on your bottom lip, eyelashes painted dark, skirt clinging to your ass, swaying your hips to the rhythm, the room is dark and smoky, never touching anyone but relishing that their eyes are on you.

Last show you watched: We don’t have cable so I don’t get to watch shows live on tv. Last time I watched any tv show I believe was Kitchen Nightmares on Hulu!

Last book you read: tbfh it’s been a long time, I’ve been reading mostly fanfiction for a while now. I just finished reading a two part series called “all the stars above and below” a finnpoe au by AndreaLyn on ao3 here

Last thing you ate: Applesauce

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?: This is strange question because I’m in my very nice bed and I don’t really want to be anywhere else at the moment but like in general Boyfriend and I are planning on moving to England so I’d like to be there? Kind of? Or like... sitting on a beach somewhere? Sitting next to my sister? I’m not really longing to be somewhere else so much as wanting some things to be a little different? But on the whole I’m extremely satisfied with where I’m at right now.

When would you time travel to?: lol fuck any time period before this one (modern medicine and some more rights are v nice) so I’ll say 3017 but that’s assuming tr*mp doesn’t get our entire goddamned planet fucking destroyed and also that people aren’t asshats to each other based on social constructions and institutions like gender and religion and identity and also ethnic backgrounds :’)

First thing you would do with lottery money: Pay for car repairs and for some of my sister’s university

Character you would hang out with for a day: Castiel or Poe Dameron

Pets: None because we move too much!

First Fandom I joined: Oh boy this is a good question. I was just talking to Boyfriend the other day about how Han/Leia was my first OTP before I really knew what that meant? Like watching the movies as a kid I felt in my heart like “yes they’re so good together please be happy together forever” I wasn’t on the Internet at all until 2008, and not on tumblr until 2011, and not on stan twitter until earlier this year lmao. When I started the tumblr, it was mostly disney and then avengers when it came out? This blog is my first like dedicated I’M IN A FANDOM venture.

Favorite book: I hate this question because I know someone out there will hate me for it *squints* but the honest truth is “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton it’s been my favorite since seventh fucking grade so fight me about it!!!1!

Worst thing you’ve ever eaten/tasted: Oh no this is horrible because I’m a fucking picky ass eater lmao uhhh I hate rice?? bad texture.

What class do you wish you paid more attention to in school? This is not the answer you’re looking for but I had some severe problems in my life when I was in high school so really I wish I had been able to pay more attention to everything in school. I would literally time travel back and redo it all if I could. I would have taken my government classes more seriously, gotten more into my history classes, and would have signed up for AP Art History because I fucking wanted to but I didn’t. If those problems hadn’t been there or hadn’t affected me so badly I would have gotten better grades and could have chosen something different for college. In college, I might have looked for something more like anthropology and focused more on language in a cultural and socio-historical context and not just language and teaching language. Similarly without those problems I would have been able to pay better attention in college and have gotten better grades, done more academic research, etc.

Just hypothetically, if you could get rid of one entire species and not have it screw up the ecosystem at all, what would it be? Humans :’) we’re the worst.

First foray into fanfic? How To Train Your Dragon on that fanfiction net website. I remember seeing the second film and feeling so, like, when are those two going to kiss and get married and live happily ever after? I needed that closure. Then I discovered AUs and ~lemons~ and then I was reading Frozen fic for a while(??) and finally Supernatural. Apple Pie Life by @heyacas​ was the first fic I read on ao3 after it was recced to me and I never looked back.

You can have unlimited anything from a magic cookie jar (item must fit in a standard sized cookie jar) with the caveat that you cannot monetarily profit from it. Like unlimited cash or things you would sell for cash. What’s in the jar? Firstly what the fuck is a standard sized cookie jar. Secondly this wording prompts me to say... cookies

What do you think about Bill Nye the Science Guy? President Nye 2020

That one book you will never read enough times? Other than the one I mentioned above I’ve read Princess Academy by Shannon Hale a million times and I love it so, so much

What’s something super popular that you just. don’t. get? This is the first thing that comes to mind because frankly there are several things that could go here but I’m answering Videos Of People Getting Hurt. Seriously. Why do I want to watch someone fall off of something or worse get pushed/tricked/otherwise manipulated into doing something I can see (or worse, hear) is painful for them? I can’t stand it.

What’s your super power? Not like telepathy (unless you really have telepathy…), but like. what’s the one thing that you’re known for? Uh... nothing probably? I’m not memorable

What’s that story you tell at parties or whatnot to impress people? I am literally the worst at parties? and impressing people? One story I like to tell is how Boyfriend and I met!

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Home is an extremely fluid concept. Right now I am about 825 miles from the house that I lived in for about 17 years, Boyfriend is at his work around 16 miles away, 5000 miles from Spain... I could go on.

Hobbies: Writing and reading fanfiction

Favorite place: Favorite beach: Lagos, Portugal. Favorite city: Barcelona, Spain. Favorite museum: the Louvre. Favorite church: Saint Mary of the Angels in Winona, Minnesota. Favorite restaurant: This brunch place we found while wandering in Paris, France. Alternate answers: Boyfriend’s snuggles.

Movie you are most excited about for next year: I haven’t seen Spiderman: Homecoming yet but I’m excited to do so! Also STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI

Beanies or Scarves? Scarves

Last person you texted? Boyfriend

Favorite food? Pasta

Favorite season and why? Summer! Because winter is the FUCKING WORST!

Left Twix or Right? Did you mean: belongs in the trash?

Who would win in a fight: Captain America OR Captain Kirk? Okay like Captain America because? superserum? But James T. Kirk is my precious babe I don’t want them to fight :3

Avengers or X-Men? Avengers

Dream Concert: Go back to my Favorite Artists answer and put all of them together in one show :’)

What fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: Either Harry Potter’s or Rick Riordan’s (but only if I’m friends with The Squad)

Last video game played: Okay on the real it’s probably Dance Dance Revolution from, like, 2006

rip here we go bois. was tagged by @kwamimusings (yeh bud) i’m very canadian so i changed all the “favorite”s to “favourite”

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 like 2 because i’m lazy amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Name: let’s go with Yumi

Nicknames: see above. idk y’all can make nicknames or smth??

Zodiac Sign: gemini

Height: 6′4″-ish

Orientation: i sexually identify as an attack helicopter (jk i’m straight)

Ethnicity: chinese

Favourite Fruit: i would kill a man for an orange slice. vitamin c flows through my veins. 

Favourite Season: winter. snow. yes.

Favourite Book: ohhhh boy. i will still have to say the original pjato series, though harry potter and lunar chronicles are really good. 

Favourite Flower: what. 

Favourite Scent: this will sound weird but i like the scent of my friends. also butter frying smells reaaaaally good

Favourite animals: cattens are life. though wolves and marine life are pretty cool too. 

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: sauce me my tim hortons iced capp

Cat or Dog Person: did i say i love cattens because cats are my life

Favourite Fictional Character: there’s a lot of those. let’s go with homestuck characters - tz, dave, vriska, roxy are up there. 

Dream Trip: ??? uhhh hiking the lotr scenery in new zealand or driving up to the northern territories to stargaze with mes amis

Blog Created: octoberish 2015?

Number of Followers: 134

What I Post About: whatever’s on my dash + my art. (typically homestuck, voltron, ml, and dumb posts)

Do I get asks on a regular basis: naw son

Aesthetic: stuff that is aesthetic is like really nicely lit photography with good contrast levels, but my aesthetic is like idk neons/pastels/rainbows and crap. i guess idk. 

Hogwarts House: HUFFLEPUFF PRIDE!!!!! WE HAVE NEWT AND WE’RE BETTER THAN YOU 

right so i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to do the next part but i’ll just put a cut right here because it’s getting long

Rules: Write 92 rules about yourself, then tag 25 people. who even knows 25 people

LAST ___:

Drink: watermelon juice at a hot pot place Phone Call: probably my mom????? Text message: i don’t have a phone but last IM thing would be a group chat with some girls from church Song you listened to: no idea let’s say the heathers soundtrack Time you cried: i teared up for logan

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Dated someone twice: “Kinda need to date someone once to do it twice.” -aaron Been cheated on: “Again, kinda need to have ever been in a relationship in order to be cheated on.” -aaron Kissed someone and then regretted it: “Can’t regret it if you’ve never kissed anyone. (Insert picture of guy tapping his temple here)” -aaron (haha single squad) Lost someone special: no, luckily Been depressed: i don’t get affected by much so no Gotten drunk and thrown up: i’m. underage. 

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS: turquoise is a blessing to this planet, maroon is pre nice, black is the colour of my soul but it doesn’t count, so there are certain shades of pink that are pretty nice, even though i’m a non-conformist. 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU _____: Made new friends: ya bud new girl in the ib fam and some kool kids here on tumbs Fallen out of love: *insert joke about the bitterness of school* Laughed until you cried: @mrs-linny-universe remember that post with the googly eyes Found out someone was talking about you: no...? Met someone who changed you: i think everyone you meet changes you, because if you never met them then you would be a different person completely and the path of your life would have diverged (is that enough bs yes it is let’s move on) Found out who your true friends are: what does that even mean it sounds omnious Kissed someone on your Facebook list: wat. (actually, yes. i peck my friends on the cheek all the time)

GENERAL: How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. i keep getting friend requests from friends of friends in edmonton and it confuses me because do i know you? no.  Do you have any pets: i had a crested gecko named charlie but he died Do you want to change your name: no? What did you do for your last birthday: i think a movie with my friends.  What time did you wake up: 9:30am here, 6:30pm back home. heck yeah time zones What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping lol i only slept 3 hours during the 20-something hour travel time. 

Name something you cannot wait for: for ib to be over and for hiveswap to come out When was the last time you saw your mother: she’s beside me right now hi mom What is something you wish you could change about your life: i never really thought about it?  What are you listening to right now: parents/aunt/uncle/grandparents chatting Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah man. every time i see him i say hi to him but he’s neurodivergent so he never really replies Something that is getting on your nerves: vpn is slow but it’s better than not talking to my friends for 2 weeks.  Most visited website: email and tumblr Elementary: classified High school: classified, but it’s a private school and we have hoodies with our uniform which is pretty nice College: i’m still in high school rip Hair colour: black. i’m asian.  Long or short hair: got a pixie cut a few months ago, i always grow it out really long and then chop it off again Do you have a crush on someone: i guess??? What do you like about yourself: arty art Piercings: naw son  Blood type: idk but mosquitoes love me and i hate mosquitoes Nickname: we’ve already established this Relationship status: married to @seokgis​, in a side relationship with @thelifeditch (jokes i’m single) Zodiac sign: we’ve already gone over this Pronouns: she/her  Favourite TV show: idk i guess ml or voltron for animated and stranger things for live action? i don’t think about this much.  Tattoos: underage lol Right or left hand: right

FIRST ____: Surgery: naw son Piercing: lol Best friend: first bestie i remember is this girl named sharon back when i was like 3-7 i think.  Sport: mom forced me to do swimming but i really liked skating before i was too inflexible Vacation: does immigrating to canada count, bc then i think it was the time my friend dz and i went to capilano Pair of trainers: i think this means either bike trainers or what british people call runners but i still don’t get what the question is asking so sure?

RIGHT NOW ___: Eating: just ate an orange. they are my lifeblood Drinking: i literally never drink liquids it’s so bad for me (but yeah i just drank some oj and i’m laughing because i didn’t even realize) About to: sit here and waste time on tumblr, maybe do some tok, probably sleep because we’re going to leave for the airport at like 3-something-am for the chinese tropics or smth Listening to: we’ve done this let’s move on Waiting for: i live in the moment. *snickers and breaks down in laughter because the real answer is i have no idea* Want: sleep, maybe? i always want to sleep. also, like aaron, i would like a hug.  Get married: like i said, i’m already married (jk i’m still in high school, but yeah i would like to get married in the future) Career: “your high school career is very important” - said no one ever (or maybe it’s everyone ever, who knows)

WHICH IS BETTER ____: Hugs or kisses: hugs Lips or eyes: eyes  Shorter or taller: like think is for ppl im interested in right. taller, then.  Older or younger: older would be less weird? Nice arms or nice stomach: arms? i ain’t spending time looking at ppls’ stomachs Sensitive or loud: what.  Hook up or relationship: relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: lemme just ask WHAT ARE THESE QUESTIONS

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Kissed a stranger: naw song lol Drank hard liquor: what defines hard liquor, because i’ve sipped some like really high percentage alcohol but i don’t drink. Lost glasses/contact lenses: rip my contact lens just fell out of my eye once.  Turned someone down: um i don’t think so? Sex on first date: SHEILD MY INNOCENT EYES YEESH I’M 16 I PREACH ABSTINENCE Broken someone’s heart: idk about broken, but maybe Had your own heart broken: nope :) Been arrested: i’m too young for this Cried when someone died: no one really close to me has died so no Fallen for a friend: haha everyone i’ve fallen for has been my friend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ____: Yourself: yeah? Miracles: if i didn’t i would have to not believe in Jesus (awkwardly phrased but i think you get the picture) Love at first sight: if you see someone and you just “fall in love” then that puts love lightly. i think that love is something really serious and needs to be developed.  Santa Claus: i’m too old for thi-- JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING Kiss on the first date: depends on who Angels: yaaa. again, comes with my faith (i hate phrasing stuff like this because it makes it sound trivial but i honestly don’t know how to say it)

OTHER ____: Current best friend’s name: i have several Eye colour: brown Movie: oooooh boy. i love lotr but i’m also that one person that loves every single movie, even the ones that every say sucked. proof: i absolutely loved suicide squad. i’m also a cinematography nerd but i just fangirl over the shots and never really think about them lol

okay i tag everyone who read this to the end and the people who i mentioned earlier because i’m really lazy 

Tagged by @branch-chief--faba!

RULES: answer the questions and tag 15 blogs you want to know better.

Nicknames: Bunni, Dan (irl)

Star Sign: Libra

Height: I dont think ive measured my height since i was a teenager, but around 5′6″ or 5′7″ or something? average height i guess

Time Right Now: 15:45

Last thing I Googled: “Endellion” cos its the username someone had in a game or something that was on my dash, and i wanted to know what the name means cos its cool. Apparantly its the name of a saint?

Last Movie I Watched: rewatching Finding Dory and CRYING AGAIN

Last TV Show I watched: Black Butler Book Of Circus, and before that it was ERASED/The Town Without Me. My picky side is so frustrated that the dub changed a cool name into something generic as hell :P

When did I create this blog: cant really remember, is tehre any way to find out? a fair few years I think, i cant recall if it was just after i ran away from home or just before?

Why I choose my URL: I’m bad at remembering stuff so I tend to use the same username and same password everywhere. (Tho spelling the password differently just in case. But cos bad memory i end up having to roll thru every single spelling every time I log in XD) Bunni89 was just the first username I had as a nine year old and it stuck. I wanted to be Bunny cos... it was the name of my plush rabbit doll. And my fave animal in general. I’m not very creative! And then the ‘lets spell it internet speak’ bit and the random number was just to try and find a version of bunny that wasnt already taken. Then I’ve just used that username for the next 15 years and its stuck so much that its even kinda my irl nickname now! Aaaand then just tumblunni because puns.

Gender: agender/nonbinary

Hogwards House: Slytherin cos i always feel sorry for anyone generically written off as a villain for stupid reasons, hufflepuff is probably more likely cos i have no special traits except being huggable.

Pokemon Team:  I try and have a different one each generation, like Ash. But i still keep all my previous teams pride of place in a special box in each game and I love doing postgame stuff and minigames with them. I get really attatched to my mons! I’m so guilty feeling that I lost two mons from my unova playthrough during the transfer bck and forth from friends’s games back when i didnt have a DS for a few years. my poor samurott and leavanny... :( Anyway, my current team in sun and moon is primarina, mimikyu, goloisipod, alola raichu, alola muk and lurantis! I wanted to have a drampa but i bought sun by accident instead of moon. And I also really like mareanie and that mossy anchor pokemon but they were so impossible to find that i only got them late in the postgame. I actually fished up an anchor friend myself but i had to trade for a mareanie :P

Favourite Colour: blue! and just the general aesthetic of black and white with one bright colour highlighting small details. thats a cool!

Lucky Number: 74 is my favourite number!

Favourite Character: TRESH GROMP GROOMPLE GRIMPLES GREMPY GROO y’all know who it be, i am not able to be silent about my faves aaaaand I have a bunch of other obscure minor character villain faves in other fandoms too, and just generally i am lame

Number of Blankets: Two, and a sleeping bag sometimes cos weather is so cold lately. We had like one unbearably hot day and then straight back to ice!

Name: Dan

Birthday: October 12th

Siblings: A half sister I havent seen in a decade... i hope she’s okay...

Favorite Smell: I have a really bad sense of smell and generally i can only smell really strong bad smell,s alas. Tho i do think gasoline smells nice and thats such an EVIL TRAP cos its all deadly gross fumes n stuff!

Pets: Had a cat, rabbit, fish and hamster as a kid, but havent had another pet for years. i really wanna someday be able to take care of one on my own!

Wake Up: consistancy is for the weak

Sleep: see previous question

Type of phone: i have no idea what this phone is, i dont know anything about phones. its some super cheap super bad touchscreen thingie i got in a christmas sale for twenty bucks

Love or Lust: aromantic asexual here giving a big ol shrug at this question

Lemonade or Tea: Lemonade. I am the worst brit, i hate tea XD

Cats or Dogs: Cats

Coke or Pepsi: Coke

Day or Night: Night

Text or Call: Text

Make up or natural: no makeup aaaa its a sticky face prison

Met a Celebrity: nope

Smile or Eyes: ??? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. how can you compare the two. im just imagining someone smiling and their mouth is full of eyes. WHY DID YOU INSERT THIS IMAGE INTO MY BRAINMEATS

Light or Dark Hair: having dark hair is annoying when you wanna dye it, so i’ll go with light hair just for the practicality 
 Shorter or Taller: oh was all this meant to be about what you find sexy in someone instead of yourself?? cos im average height and i already answered that... 
 Intelligence or Attraction: wait this is a question about what you find most attractive so how does that make sense. unless it isnt...?? thing you most want to be: intelligence or sexyness? well i want everything except sexyness so there u go. 
 Chapstick or Lipstick: havent used either in over a decade 
 City or Country: both have their own good and bad points, ive had different social anxieties living in both :P 
 Last Song Heard: this cool amv for a movie i love pointless fact: it was legit made by the same director and animation team as the first digimon movie, its like the version of the script he wished he could have done as its own property. he also made wolf children!

Fruit or Vegetables: Froooooot

Anime or Cartoons: I like both in different ways. Mostly I just like a certain sort of story/art style/character lineup/etc and i like it no matter which genre it appears in. And i tend to really like the stuff that takes inspiration from both genres cos it seems they’re more likely to have that sort of stuff! Combining all the goodness! 
 Phone Case: wait you can buy cases for phones?? 
 Showers or Baths: showers are conveinient, baths are lazy. depends on how bad my day has been! 
 Dream Job: i dont have any dreams really, im a weirdo. ive never been able to find one. at best i flip through a few current hobbies and have a vague idea that it could be fun to be paid for doing them, but its never a really huge interest and i never try and work towards it cos i know im flaky and ive changed my mind a million times before. I hope someday i can find something that just clicks and i wanna do it forever!

Milk and Cookies or Doughnuts and Coffee: WAIT YOU EAT DONUTS WITH COFFEE?? WHY?? donuts are already soggy! thats weird! milk n cookies forever yo. or donuts on their own, but donuts are too sugary for me, i can never eat more than one without feeling sick.

MUSE AESTHETICS

tagged by: no-one. i stole it off @bonezone c: tagging: y’all, if u wanna. @ofblackwoodmountain , @lilacwintersky , @theeldritchmortician , @tcrmental , @deadlysericus / @t0d1s4pp34r , @beaniebaby-sister , @inquisitiveash , @beaniesandbutterflies , @convolutcd . y’all.

bold the aesthetic for your muse italicize what can be taken 2 ways.

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. / “just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl.” / pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. / “you’ll get it done before the day is up.” / guilt that isn’t yours to have. / it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. / chains. / “how could you do this to me?” / the sharp sting of guilt. / you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. / the family you never had. / falling backwards through time. / quicksand. / drowning, but you don’t save yourself. / “you’re getting better.” / “they smile like a snake.” / you’re the stars and the sky. / there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. / they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. / “let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly.” / you edge a bit too close to the sun. / another ghost to take your place after every stumble. / deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun. / rock candy melting in water. / waves rise and leave the foam behind. / the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. / happiness is the best front a man can take. / “i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before.” / you disagree; they’re more beautiful. / discomfort at the tiniest of touches. / the sky opens up when you see them. / rain comes down. / poppy fields. / your sanity hanging by a thread. / “oh god, what have you done?” / roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. / they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind. / you try to help, but it only got worse. / now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. /

adam & eve in the garden. / a temptress in crisp button-downs. / “fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you?” / they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. / the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. / sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side. / yves saint laurent black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape. / crisp green apples piled up on the table. / your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. / what a pretty one, they say. / you laugh without humor. / a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest. / there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. / the seat of power fits like a glove. / heavy is the head that wears the crown. / you share a space, but not a mind. / they think you are weak; you are, maybe. / “what are you going to do with all of these pills?” / an empty bird’s nest. / broken pencil tips. / there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. / “we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that.” / “they weren’t there when it happened.” / corruption. / there’s a red string tying you together. / the scent of whiskey on the horizon. / “you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.” / pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. / 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. / you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort. / always walking on sunshine. / there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. / hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. / you drift, but you know where you’re going. / no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. / the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. / court hearings. / “I miss you.” / siblings are a funny thing. / they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. / blackbird screaming / wake in nightmares / are you an illusion? / I don’t feel real.

MUSE AESTHETICS

tagged by: no-one. i stole it off @bonezone c: tagging: y’all, if u wanna. @sawtrappcd , @sendhclp , @adastraabintra , @frcnkenstein, @jawdrcpping , @yourenotreal , @thirtylcve , @keygiven / @valiiidus . and a bunch of othersss.

bold the aesthetic for your muse italicize what can be taken 2 ways.

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. / “just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl.” / pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. / “you’ll get it done before the day is up.” / guilt that isn’t yours to have. / it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. / chains. / “how could you do this to me?” / the sharp sting of guilt. / you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. / the family you never had. / falling backwards through time. / quicksand. / drowning, but you don’t save yourself. / “you’re getting better.” / “they smile like a snake.” / you’re the stars and the sky. / there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. / they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. / “let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly.” / you edge a bit too close to the sun. / another ghost to take your place after every stumble. / deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun. / rock candy melting in water. / waves rise and leave the foam behind. / the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. / happiness is the best front a man can take. / “i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before.” / you disagree; they’re more beautiful. / discomfort at the tiniest of touches. / the sky opens up when you see them. / rain comes down. / poppy fields. / your sanity hanging by a thread. / “oh god, what have you done?” / roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. / they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind. / you try to help, but it only got worse. / now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. /

adam & eve in the garden. / a temptress in crisp button-downs. / “fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you?” / they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. / the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. / sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side. / yves saint laurent black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape. / crisp green apples piled up on the table. / your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. / what a pretty one, they say. / you laugh without humor. / a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest. / there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. / the seat of power fits like a glove. / heavy is the head that wears the crown. / you share a space, but not a mind. / they think you are weak; you are, maybe. / “what are you going to do with all of these pills?” / an empty bird’s nest. / broken pencil tips. / there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. / “we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that.” / “they weren’t there when it happened.” / corruption. / there’s a red string tying you together. / the scent of whiskey on the horizon. / “you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.” / pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. / 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. / you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort. / always walking on sunshine. / there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. / hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. / you drift, but you know where you’re going. / no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. / the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. / court hearings. / “I miss you.” / siblings are a funny thing. / they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. / blackbird screaming / wake in nightmares / are you an illusion? / I don’t feel real.

MUSE AESTHETIC.

repost; don’t reblog! bold the aesthetic for your muse italicize what can be taken 2 ways

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. / “ just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl. ” / pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. / “ you’ll get it done before the day is up. ” / guilt that isn’t yours to have. / it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. / chains. / “ how could you do this to me?” / the sharp sting of guilt. / you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. / the family you never had. / falling backwards through time. / quicksand. /drowning, but you don’t save yourself. / “ you’re getting better. ” / “ he smiles like a snake. ” / you’re the stars and the sky. / there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. / they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. / “ let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly. ” / you edge a bit too close to the sun. / another ghost to take your place after every stumble. / deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun. / rock candy melting in water. / waves rise and leave the foam behind. / the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. / happiness is the best front a man can take. / “ i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before.”/ you disagree; they’re more beautiful. / discomfort at the tiniest of touches. / the sky opens up when you see them. / rain comes down. / poppy fields. / your sanity hanging by a thread. / “oh god, what have you done? ” / roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. / he’s got a devil on his shoulder and an angel in his mind. / you try to help, but it only got worse. / now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. /

adam & eve in the garden. / a temptress in crisp button-downs. / “ fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you? ” / they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. / the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. / sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side. / yes saint laurent black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape./ crisp green apples piled up on the table. / your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. /what a pretty one, they say. / you laugh without humor. / a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest. / there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. / the seat of power fits like a glove. / heavy is the head that wears the crown. / you share a space, but not a mind. / they think you are weak; you are, maybe. / “ what are you going to do with all of these pills? ” / an empty bird’s nest. / broken pencil tips. / there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. / “ we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that. ” / “ they weren’t there when it happened. ” / corruption. / there’s a red string tying you together. /the scent of whiskey on the horizon. / “ you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. ” / pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. / 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. / you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort. / always walking on sunshine. / there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. / hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. / you drift, but you know where you’re going. / no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. / the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. / court hearings. / “ I miss you. ” / siblings are a funny thing. / they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. / blackbird screaming / wake in nightmares / are you an illusion? / I don’t feel real. / who is in control?

Tagged by: Whoops, I���m an aesthetic meme thief. Tagging: @Any of y’all who want to do it.