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whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 months

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Pairing : Joshua Hong x F!Reader TW : it's angsty ; he's still not the gentleman Shua we love ; but he's better than the last part ; reader is wounded ; mention of guns and gunshots ; lots of talk of blood in the first half ; nobody dies though! ; happy ending ; Word Count : 1.8k Request : Anonny : Your stories are so good! My fav is When it’s Done with Joshua! Are you going to do a part 2? I’m dying to see what happened! A/N : I did not forget this request! I reread the first part, and lemme tell ya, I'm so excited to write part two!

The gunshot echoed through the small alleyway that you had run off into, it was loud and it pierced your ears like a firecracker had just gone off right next to your head. A warning shot you were sure of, probably from one of the guards that you had slipped away from. It wasn’t until you felt the sudden heat in your shoulder and the soaking of the shirt that you were wearing. You looked at your arm and saw the blood stain spreading through the fabric, and it was only once you had realized that it wasn’t a warning shot, that you had been shot, that you felt the agonizing burn and the pain that seemed to radiate and hit every single receptor in your body. It was all you could feel.

You dropped to the ground, practically crawling to hide behind a dumpster that was pressed up against one of the many abandoned buildings that you and Joshua had once scavenged in. With one hand clasped to your mouth, you reached your other hand to your back, gently pressing your finger against the spot where the bullet had gone straight through your skin. It hurt like a bitch, a pain that was indescribable, so bad it made you black out momentarily.

This was it, you were sure of it. You’d bleed out behind the dumpster because you just had to prove a point to the asshole who was being whisked away to somewhere safe. It was ironic, but you never made the best choices, and this was surely, without a doubt, the worst decision you had ever made in your life… Which now seemed to be very close to over.

“Dammit! Just let me go!” Joshua fought with the guard who was clearly becoming more and more annoyed with each push that was landed against him, so annoyed in fact that he finally threw up his arms, allowing Joshua to run past him.

He didn’t know the first place to run to, and to be honest, he didn’t know if he’d be able to find you. Part of him was actually terrified of what he would find if he did come across you. The gunshot had been so loud, it was close, and he knew that you couldn’t have made it far from the group before the shot had been fired.

What was he so afraid of? Why hadn’t he just let you in? It’s not like he didn’t have feelings for you, it’s not like you hadn’t found a way to weasel into his heart and make it seem like it was only beating for you. Who was there to put the act on for? Everyone else in the world that he thought had mattered were most likely gone now, you were all he had left… And now he was scared that he’d be truly alone in this world.

There was no one around, no one that could possibly be a threat, not that he could see. But you were also nowhere to be found either. Had someone taken you? The thought alone had his blood boiling, thinking of someone else laying their hands on you, hurting you… He shook his head, his fingers running through his hair to brush it out of his face. He couldn’t think like that. You had to be around here somewhere.

A small whimper, one that would have gone unheard if the city were alive with pre-apocalyptic sounds, cars and muffled voices would have drowned out the quiet whine that came from the alleyway that he had just walked past. Without a second thought, he turned down the alley, his legs picking up speed to carry him to where the sound had come from.

Tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes glanced up at him, but he couldn’t stop from looking at the bright red liquid that colored your hand and your shirt, dripping down your arm and pooling onto the dirty ground beneath you. “Oh my god…” Was all he managed to say as he crouched down in front of you, pulling off his jacket and pressing it against your wound.

“You came back…” You whispered, although he wasn’t sure if your voice was so low because you were trying to be quiet or if you were just losing so much blood that you were becoming weak. “Why did you come back? You could have been safe…” You continued to speak, and it’s like he could see your heart rate picking up, the blood pouring more quickly now from your wound as you got more worked up.

“Shut up.” He hissed, trying his best not to upset you, but you needed to calm down or else you’d lose too much blood, and that would mean he’d lose you, and he wasn’t about to let that happen. “You’re so stupid, why would you run off like that? Now both of us are back where we started.” He muttered, and your head dropped, but not only that, you shifted away from him, away from his touch, away from the jacket that was being used to try to stop the bleeding.

“You didn’t have to come back for me.” You mumbled, your knees curling up against your chest as if you were trying to make as much space between the two of you as physically possible. “I’m sure your good karma meter has reached the top by now, you didn’t have to come back.” He just couldn’t get things right, he just kept upsetting you, even when he wasn’t trying to. “You can leave now, I’d much rather not annoy you with my dying.”

“You seriously need to stop talking.” He urged, watching as, what could be, the remaining blood seemed to squirt from the bullet hole. “I’ll tell you why I came back, but I need to make sure you’re okay first. So just… Shut up long enough for me to try to help.” Your eyes rolled, but he didn’t really care for it, as long as they weren’t rolling to the back of your head. He could deal with your sassiness, it meant you were still alive.

He carefully got you up off the ground, making sure you were steady on your feet before leaning over in front of you. “What are you doing?” You asked, but he didn’t have time for your questions, and he knew damn well that your time was very limited, so he reached back, wrapping his arms around the bend of your knees and hoisting you up onto his back. “What the hell?!” You shrieked, but your arms immediately wrapped around him to hold on. He liked the feelings of having you close to him like this… It wasn’t intimate in any way… It was just close, and if the situation weren’t so dire, he would have loved to hear you laugh and maybe even squeal with delight as he carried you around.

“If you walk, you’ll lose even more blood. Just… take a nap… I’ve got you. I’ll keep you safe… I promise.”

///

Joshua sat in the little chair beside the bed where you were laying, it was uncomfortable, but he didn’t mind it, and it almost seemed like he had become one with the chair considering he had refused to leave as long as you were still in there.

The fact that he had managed to catch up with the group of survivors was a miracle, although the guard that he had pushed around didn’t seem very pleased at his reappearance. Once it was realized that you were injured though, one of the other guards pulled you off of Joshuas back and carried you the rest of the way.

From the moment of arrival at the “base camp”, at least that’s what they called it, he never left your side. The nurses and doctors that had been saved from nearby hospitals had all come to look at you, taking turns to make sure you were healing okay. You had lost so much blood though that they were basically telling him to say his goodbyes when you first arrived.

Still, even though you were okay, you were far from healthy. You were beyond weak, and it seemed like all you could do at this point was sleep, and while it scared the hell out of him, the doctors all tried to reassure him that sleeping was exactly what your body needed right now, especially since there wasn’t much else they could do outside the hospitals.

So he sat, and he waited, he waited for hours, days, it felt like weeks that he just sat in that chair, dozing off occasionally just to be jolted awake thinking that he heard you move only to see the doctor walking in to check on you again. He had many questions, but none of them he wanted the answers to.

A little yawn, and then the quietest curse had him opening his eyes from the little catnap that he had begun to take. You were sitting up on the makeshift hospital bed, your face in what looked to be a permanent grimace as you rolled your shoulders and tried to stretch. “It’s gonna hurt worse if you keep doing that.” He commented, finally feeling all the tension wash away from him seeing you awake.

“You’re still here…” You said, as if finally noticing that he was in the room with you. Your head tilted to the side as you looked at him, your eyes narrowed, questioning his presence.

“I’ve been here the whole time, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

“How long have I been sleeping?”

“Too long.” He said flatly, finally getting up from the chair and stretching. Even though he had occasionally taken a small walk around the camp, a majority of the past 3 days he had been in that chair. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyes followed him as he got closer to the side of your bed, his hand reaching out to touch yours, but hovering just above it. “Uhm… stiff… Sore… Disoriented. Why are you still here?” Your hand moved away from his, but he wasn’t scared anymore. He wasn’t going to hide his feelings from you, he wasn’t going to push you away. You were staying with him, and while he had acted so annoyed when the roles had been reversed, you were now stuck with him.

“I’m not leaving you… Ever.” He emphasized the ending, his hand coming down on top of yours and giving it a light squeeze. “Now that I know you’re okay, and we’re both safe… I shouldn’t have kept it to myself… But I need you with me. I’ve always been scared of losing you, since the second week of meeting you. Now that I’ve almost actually lost you, I never want to go through that again.” He leaned in, kissing the top of your head as his hand lingered on top of yours, his thumb brushing across your knuckles and sending goosebumps across your skin. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, I’m sorry for making you feel unwanted… I’m sorry for causing this… Will you ever forgive me?”

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fairyhaos · 10 months

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WAIT YOUR POST MADE ME REALISE SOMETHING i always have like a picture of people in my head like how i imagine them as a time of day or weather with some other details, i have one abt svtn members aswell! lmk if you are interested in me sharing it bc i would love to hear your opinion on them!<3

OOH! that's so interesting!!

#fairyhaos.answers #ask #wonijinjin #friends <3

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blbabysworld · 4 years

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Johnny: Are you gonna die your hair brown tomorrow?

Jeonghan, on phone: Yeah of course!

Johnny: Then we can really fuck his head up

Jeonghan, laughing: When are you gonna tell him?

Johnny: One day.....in a million years *hangs up*

Suho: Who was that?

Johnny: Pizza man

#nct #nct john seo #nct johnny #exo #exo suho #svtn #svt jeonghan #kpop meme #kpop edits #incorrect kpop quotes #kpop memes #kpop #kpop merch #kpop packs #kpop imagines

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lookastarlightnight-blog · 6 years

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花吐き病 (Part 1)

[Admin Lyric: Please don’t read this if you are sensitive to verbally “abusive” words and death. If you do read it then I hope you enjoy it!! Cue the water works...]

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}

Characters: Soonyoung (Hoshi), Mingyu, Rest of Seventeen

Genre: Hanahaki Disease Au, Angst

Word Count: 3,500+

Warnings: Language, Mentions of alcohol use, Mentions of depression, Mentions of contemplating suicide, Major character death

Love is something no one understands. It makes you happy, sad, mad, confused, and exedra. Sometimes, it’s like getting whiplash from getting into a car accident, comes too fast and is exceedingly painful. People who are in love with each other are always happy and normally have a nice healthy relationship together, have kids, get married in the future. That was not the case for Soonyoung.

He has always been and always will be a relatively energetic person. He’s very outgoing and people tend to get along with him easily. But what they don’t know about is his long lasting depression. His depression was caused by only one thing. You.

He hasn’t told anyone about it, hasn’t talked to someone for advice, hasn’t tried to reach out for a doctor. He thinks that if he tries hard enough, his feelings for you won’t last. As for the occasional dizzy sickening feeling he gets when waking up, the rough feeling in his throat, and puking up red rose petals, will go away once his feelings go away. But in reality he knows that it’s only gonna get worse.

You’d been in a relationship with one of Soonyoung’s band mates, Kim Mingyu. You’ve been together for a half of a year (6 months) so far and you looked happy to be by his side. What you didn’t realize was that it only made things worse for Soonyoung. When you’d have really good days with Mingyu, like cuddling, kissing, hugging, that would only make Soonyoung’s day shit. When he’d see you happy he was happy, but that only means that he’d have to suffer throwing up more petals throughout the day.

He was close with Mingyu like how he was with Jihoon, which was not good at all on his part. That’s his best friend and he would never want to interfere with yours and his relationship so he never told anyone about his disease. He was always nervous being in the small cramped dorm because he could get found out and have to tell everyone that he was in love with you and Mingyu would hate him forever. That would be the last thing he’d want to happen between him and Mingyu.

Soonyoung really had one question, can someone fall out of love? Will he die if he keeps coughing up flowers? If he tells you and Mingyu about his feelings will they be able to stay friends? Will you be disgusted by him for telling you his feelings while you were in a relationship with his best friend? Well he actually had four questions…

Soonyoung had woken up to the nauseating feeling eating away at his stomach. He’s used to it by now, but as soon as he sits up, he falls back down on his bed. He’s been dizzy almost every morning but it has never been this bad. He couldn’t even stand let alone sit up right. He had to get up. He could feel the rough poking feeling in his throat and knew he had to get the flower petals out of his lungs.

The petals in his lungs were almost suffocating him as he laid on his back facing the ceiling. He stood up off of his bed and fell on the floor, coughing and gagging, gasping for air. Blood. All he saw was blood on his hands and lots of rose petals but he didn’t have time to analyze the things around him. He grabbed at his throat from choking so much, his nails digging in his neck as he desperately gasped for more air. He put his hand into his mouth and pulled out of his throat a long steamed rose with lots of thorns and huge petals.

His breathing still wasn’t stable, which led it to get more unstable due to the mini panic attack he was having. Soonyoung was used to flower petals coming out of his mouth, but it was never a whole entire rose. He had to clam himself down before someone heard him. He started coughing again and more rose petals flew from his mouth.

He heard sniffing noises coming from his right. He was scared. He didn’t want to face having to tell anyone, not yet, it was too soon.

“How long?” Soonyoung sighed lightly. It was at least Jeonghan. How much did he see? He felt embarrassed.

“What do you mean hyung?” Soonyoung didn’t need to look at Jeonghan in the eye to know he was getting aggravated.

Jeonghan’s patience was slim to none, thinner then ice. He knew he needed to be there for Soonyoung, but he just couldn’t believe that he didn’t tell anyone about the situation he’s in.

“Soonyoung-ah, please be honest with me. I just want to know why you kept this from us.”

“I’m sorry…”

“How long has it been since you noticed?” Soonyoung could tell Jeonghan was getting angrier. He had to say something but he was scared.

“…about 2 months ago…” He gulped. He stared at his bloody hands and shook his head repeatedly.

“It only started out as flower seeds and leaves, I didn’t think much of it at first until I went to the doctors appointment I had a month ago. It only g-got worse because…” He started to trail off, getting to a place in his small speech where he was uncomfortable with and he’d rather much avoid the topic of bringing you up. Jeonghan sighed.

“Well if it started to get worse then why-“ Soonyoung cut him off.

“Hyung, you wouldn’t understand!” His voice cracked. It had gotten horse from all of the coughing. He didn’t mean to yell at Jeonghan for his own selfishness. He was just frustrated by the situation at hand and wanted to let whatever was going to happen to him happen.

“This is about Y/N isn’t it? You love her don’t you?” Soonyoung’s head snapped up. He looked at Jeonghan, nervousness evident in his eyes. He gulped again.

“H-How did you know that I…” His voice was quiet, yet Jeonghan could tell he was going to break down soon. He wasn’t trying to force Soonyoung to tell him exactly what was wrong with him, he already knew, he just had to be sure. He observes every one in the dorm to make sure they’re okay even if they don’t want to talk about their problems, he still asks them about it because he knows that deep down inside they need to talk to someone. As for right now Soonyoung wasn’t okay. He wanted to at least help him with whatever he could even if it meant it was near to impossible.

“Soonyoung if it’s this bad, maybe you should consider getting the surgery.”

“No.” He shook his head vigorously. The surgery for Hanahaki disease is extremely risky. If you get it, there is a very high chance that you may not be able to love anyone ever again. There’s also a high chance that you can even lose other emotions when the surgery is done. Soonyoung did want to rid himself of his feelings for you so he didn’t have to lie anymore, but he doesn’t want to become someone who is emotionless. He doesn’t want to become a robot or a waste of space on earth.

“I’m not going to do anything t-that involves getting myself even more screwed up okay!!” Soonyoung was thankful that the rest of the members weren’t there because if they were, Mingyu would have heard everything and he would have to lock himself in his room. He squeezed his eyes shut. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Jeonghan sat next to Soonyoung on the floor and hugged him, tears began to slip past his eyes again.

“Please do something to help yourself and if there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jeonghan looked at him. Soonyoung’s skin was flushed, he had eye bags due to lack of sleep, and he looked like he lost some weight. He frowned a bit. They stayed hugging for a while until they both stopped crying.

“Do me this favor, please keep this a secret from everyone. I just need time, I promise that I’ll tell them. Just not right now.”

-1 Hour Later-

“We’re back~~” Mingyu stopped in his tracks and glanced around the living area. No one was there. He shrugged and put the grocery bags on their kitchen table.

“Where’s Jeonghan and Soonyoung?” Mingyu turned towards you and shrugged and started to unpack the items they bought along with Chan. “I’m pretty sure they’re fine.” You nodded. Everyone else seemed unfazed by the situation while you were a bit worried. Even with one or two people here, they would still be loud and obnoxious, so you decided to check on them yourself.

You had opened the door to one of the bedrooms and found them asleep. You cooed at how cute they were and closed the door softly, but you were indeed wrong because Soonyoung was still awake, unable to sleep because he heard your voice. He could see the smile that was on your face when you’d laugh at something Mingyu did or said. He loved it, he loved everything about the thoughts he has every time you’re with them at their dorm. Yet it only made his throat tingle and the hard scratchy rough sensation was back. He frowned. He also hated the thoughts that he had because he knew that he wasn’t the one that made you smile and laugh. You don’t return the love he has for you because he wasn’t the person beside you. That was Mingyu. Next thing he knew, he had three roses coming out of his throat. It was hard to breathe again.

It’s been 3 days since Jeonghan found out about Soonyoung’s disease. He hasn’t told anyone about it and for that, Soonyoung is very thankful. It’s been three days since you’ve came back to Seventeen’s dorm and three days of hell on Soonyoung’s part. He tried to make as many excuses as he could to not conversant with you and so far they did work. He was trying not to sound like it was lies he was telling you, eating away at your brain making you believe he was telling the truth, that he didn’t feel well and that he was tired and wanted sleep, but that’s exactly what happened.

You had tried to converse into any conversation Soonyoung was in just to see if he was feeling better, but he just kept avoiding you. It hurt. You wanted to know why he was avoiding you but you didn’t want to force him to do anything that was uncomfortable for him, so you just let it slide.

“Soonyoung! Did you want anything from the Japanese place?” Soonyoung looked at you and smiled.

“Hehehe! Y/N, I’m going there right now.” You could tell your face heated up from embarrassment.

“Ohh, wow I’m stupid.” You put your hands on either side of your cheek. Soonyoung laughed. His eye smile always made you feel a little better.

“Ayyyyyeee. You’re not stupid. Don’t beat yourself up about it, you didn’t even know it was going.” He rolled his eyes at you and you playfully hit him on his arm. He laughed again.

Something about Soonyoung always made you feel like you were at home. Mingyu made you feel like you were at home, but with Soonyoung it was different. He always tried to seem chic and haughty or tough and rugged, but he was the complete opposite, a giant baby that walked on two legs and a big giant plushie of a hamster. He was just Soonyoung. At first when you started to have all these thoughts about him you started to panic, thinking Mingyu would hate you if he found out you had a crush on him and yeah, you did have some type of feelings for him, but you weren’t sure what they were. Crush? Like? Love?

As many times as you tried to brush it off, it came back to you. Soonyoung is such a sweetheart and so nice to you that maybe you think that you have a crush on him even though you really don’t. You haven’t told anyone about how you’ve been feeling about Soonyoung since it was hard for you determine for yourself. A crush is a crush, but what does it mean when the feelings continue through months of uncertainty?

“Well I guess you’re right Hosh…” You crossed your arms over your chest. Soonyoung coughed.

“Are you getting sick? You don’t look too good.” Concern was written all over your face.

“Yeah. I haven’t been feeling so great lately. I’ll be fine don’t worry about me.” Soonyoung coughed again, and again, and again. He smiled. You gave him a weak smile.

“You ready Y/N?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, let’s go”

As you walked outside and down the street, you looked at Soonyoung, then looked down at his hand. You mentally slapped yourself in the face. Why were you thinking about holding his hand? Why is it much of a problem? Why do you think it’s not a problem when it is? KIM MINGYU IS YOUR-

“Where the hell are you going?” You looked to your left. Soonyoung wasn’t next to you anymore, he was behind you. You turned around and was met with a beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes. You gulped then backed up quickly.

“I’m s-sorry! I uhh.” Soonyoung chuckled then started walking into the restaurant. Your face felt hot. You were blushing. Why were you blushing? KIM MINGYU IS YOUR-

“Y/N!! Are you coming in or??”

“Yeah! Sorry Soonyoung…” Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

“Why do you keep apologizing to me? Your fine, you didn’t do anything.” He laughed which caused your face to fell hotter. God you had get away from him as soon as possible.

“Sorry… I MEAN-…” You sighed. He laughed at you again. You punched his arm and he winced slightly. Then it was you turn to laugh at him. He pouted.

“That hurt!” He pretended to cry. You rolled your eyes.

“No it didn’t.”

“Yes it did!”

“No it didn’t.”

“Yes it did!”

“No it didn’t.”

“How can you tell if it didn’t hurt if you’re not me?” He crossed his arms still pouting. You giggled at his cuteness.

“Did it really hurt Soonyoung?” He looked at you and sighed.

“No…”

“Exactly, now can we get the food?” He pouted again, then nodded.

You and Soonyoung walked back to Seventeen’s dorm in silence. Mainly because if Soonyoung talked, he’d end up coughing up roses, and you trying to sort out your feelings, which was overwhelming. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though, it was… warm… almost too warm. Wait. You looked down and your eyes widened. Had you intended to hold his hand? Was he the one to hold yours? You stared at your hands intertwined in each others. It looked so… perfect. You shook your head. No. You have a boyfriend. You’ve told yourself this so many times to the point where it was a mantra in your head. You looked up to see Soonyoung staring at you. You blushed and looked away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep our hands like this. I wanted to make sure you didn’t cross the street without being protected a little.” He was about to let go of your hand but you stopped him. You didn’t know why but you did.

“Nah, I-it’s fine. You act like friends don’t hold hands.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, eyes turning into crescents. You left your hand in his for the rest of the walk back to the dorm.

You had knocked on the door so many times and no one has come to answer it. You were frustrated. You called Mingyu and he didn’t even answer, Soonyoung called everyone and they didn’t answer. You were pissed. Soonyoung was panicking. You had held his hand all the way back to the dorm and no one was answering the door. He had to get these flowers out of his lungs or he’d end up doing it in front of you and he didn’t want that.

“Isn’t there a spare key?” Soonyoung looked at you and smiled. Then he walked over to a bush and grabbed a key. You were so excited you started jumping up and down. When the both of you had gotten inside, you saw that everyone was sleep in their rooms. Why are they sleeping, it hasn’t even been that long since we left, you thought. You walked into Soonyoung and Jihoon’s shared room and grabbed the bullhorn that Jihoon had (and used to yell at his members) and turned the siren on. Jihoon sat up so quick he almost broke his neck. He glared at you then laid back down and put a pillow over his face.

“TURN THAT SHIT OFF!” You laughed. You then noticed others had woken up and decided to have a little fun of your own. You turned the siren off and spoke through it instead.

“EVERYONE, WE GOT FOOD SO GET YOUR ASS UP AND EAT!” You felt arms wrap around your waist and you turned you head a little. It was a cute shirtless half asleep baby, your baby. You then turned around and cupped his face with your small hands.

“Babe, we got food. Wake up so you don’t choke on it.” You smiled when you saw his eyes open.

“Okay… I’m tired though.”

“Choke on your food then. Wait I wanna see that.” You saw Jihoon standing near the doorway looking happy at the thought of Mingyu choking. You sighed.

“Jihoon, Don’t do it to yourself~~” He just rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. Mingyu kissed your forehead and you blushed and gave him a quick peck on his lips. He pouted and kissed your forehead again, then your nose, then finally your lips. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it wasn’t short either. He pulled away and smiled at you. You blushed again. You wonder how he still made you feel like this even when you’ve been dating for a half a year and have know him for 2.

You forgot that you came back from getting the food with Soonyoung so you looked to see if he was anywhere in sight. You thought you heard coughing coming from the bathroom and walked over towards the door. Putting your ear up to it carefully, you could definitely tell that it was coughing you heard. It was Soonyoung for sure. You knocked on it softly. Soonyoung cracked the door open and looked at you through his swollen eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay? Did you throw up?” He simply looked at you and frowned. He nodded.

“Yeah, but I’ll be okay. I’m just gonna lay down for a bit.” He had eventually opened the bathroom door all the way and walked out.

“Are you gonna eat anything?”

“Nah, I don’t feel well enough to eat. Could you put it in the fridge for me?” You gave him a weak smile and nodded. He eventually walked away and shut his bedroom door. Your feet were glued to the floor unable to move. You couldn’t just sit here and let him be sick. You were worried and wanted to take care of him. It really wasn’t a good idea to not eat when your sick, you could make him some Ramen if he couldn’t eat anything really heavy. You sighed, walked over to the bedroom door and knocked.

“Hey, Soon? I’m coming in okay?”

“WAIT!!��I mean uhh…h-hold on for a sec.” You knit your eyebrows together. He didn’t throw up on himself did he? Was he really okay as much as he’s told you. You didn’t want to wait anymore, not caring if he was naked or not, you walked in.

You stood there, your mouth agape. Soonyoung was sitting on the floor, blood, flower petals and whole roses on the ground. He was trying to push them under his bed. He looked up at you with wide eyes. Is this what he meant by sick?

“Y/N, I c-can explain! Just come in slow-“

“No Soonyoung, I’m not gonna let you sit here and ruin your health. YOU HAVE A DISEASE!” Soonyoung started crying.

“Y/N please I-“

The rest of the members piled around you after hearing you yell, their faces just as shocked as yours. Seungcheol took a deep breath and spoke. His voice came out very monotone.

“Soonyoung. When- no, why didn’t you tell us?” You could tell he was sad and confused but trying to keep his composure.

“You wouldn’t understand the situation I’m in…” Soonyoung’s voice was low. He felt like he was going to break down and start coughing up roses again. You were looking at him, you had known he was in love with someone. He started crying harder.

“Soonyoung that’s not the point, we’re just worried. We don’t want anything to happen to you. Just let us help.” Seungkwan said matter of factly. You frowned. Soonyoung stood up and started waving at us to get out.

“I’m sorry, I just c-cant talk about this r-right now.” He hiccupped then shut the door. You stood there, staring at the faded brown wood of the door. He is not going to be okay.

As much as he tells you, you’re not going to listen to him.

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jimin-love · 6 years

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Ship for ermkpop2

Hi~! If it’s not too much, can I request a written ship for seventeen please? I’m 18 years old, but I look a lot younger than my age. My height is 5’4 with a petite frame and I have big green eyes. I’m very shy and awkward around strangers, so crowds and social settings tend to make me feel nervous and anxious. It takes a while for me to open up, but when I do I’m the complete opposite 😂. I’m talkative, bubbly, outgoing, and giggly around my friends. My friends call me giggles because I’m always laughing and bunny because I’m small and they think I’m cute and innocent. I’m soft spoken, but I also have a VERY sarcastic/sassy side to me too lol 😂. I struggle with insecurities often tho. I’m an emotional person and I can pick up on others emotions as well. I absolutely hate mornings and having to get up early. It usually takes me awhile to fully wake up and I can get grumpy too. Anyways, I enjoy watching movies and sunsets, traveling, sleeping, playing instruments, making others laugh, spending time with my loved ones, and singing. I’ve been told I’m really good at singing although, I’m way too shy to sing in front of others. I have a habit of rambling and playing with my hair whenever I feel anxious. I absolutely LOVE kids and animals and I can’t wait to have my own kids someday 💕. I blush very easily and I’m always cold. Also I low-key love to cuddle, especially when I’m tired lol 😅😂. Thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day/night~~!😊

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Hi, thank you so much for requesting and for supporting this blog!

I ship you with Vernon:

As soon as I finished reading your description I knew I shipped you with Vernon. You gave me a happy and easy going vibe. I also think Vernon would love your appearance. I see him guiding you in crowds and making you calm. He will also be shy at first but will have the courage to ask for a date. He will definitely make you laugh often. Your hobbies are perfect because I see him doing a lot of the same things. You guys can spend your days cuddling, singing, watching movies, listening to music, joking around, having pets, taking naps, going for walks, and definitely traveling.

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jisooseyes · 7 years

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matching icons of seventeen being extra for u and the squad :-)

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svtn-imagines-blog · 7 years

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decided to open up a platform for you guys to get to know me more bc I haven’t seemed to have introduced myself properly or interacted with you guys,, I really want to talk to y’all so just send me any appropriate questions and I’ll answer :)

meanwhile, if you have any texts req, send them in!

#ask svtn-imagines #seventeen

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naerokpop · 7 years

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Serendipity: Joshua - Part 3 (SVTN)

"Have a good show, okay?" You smiled to yourself while talking on the phone to Joshua.

"I will, thank you." He replied and sighed,"I wish I could visit you on your birthday."

"It's fine, I'm glad we were able to talk though," you said sincerely. You heard loud noises from Joshua's side and assumed he had to go soon.

"It's almost time," he claimed,"we'll talk later."

"Okay," you mumbled before hanging up. You frowned and glanced down at the notebook in hand.

It's been about a year since you last saw Joshua since he was busy promoting his group. He was supposed to visit you today but had to do a last minute show. You didn't mind, you understood it was his job. You found yourself sketching the outline of his face and slowly added in details.

So what's happen over the last few months? After participating in farmer's markets and selling your art on line, you were able to open up a small shop in downtown San Francisco.

You heard the door open and someone shout as they entered the shop,"what's up Y/N?" You recognized your best friend's voice. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," you smiled genuinely and accepted the gift she gave you. "Aw," you laughed at the presents full of inside jokes.

"Knew you'd like it," she smiled proudly and smirked,"come on, I'm gonna take you somewhere."

You sighed,"I can't I have to watch over this place."

"It's just dinner! Please," she begged and you finally gave in. She cheered and happily skipped out of the shop. You shook your head and closed the shop, making sure everything was locked. "Hurry you slowpoke!" She grinned and crossed the street towards the large Macy's store.

You followed and watched her get into the elevator that goes up to the Cheesecake Factory. Once you reached the restaurant she grabbed your hand and took you outside and made you sit in a two persons table.

"I'll be right back I need to use the bathroom," she promised and left you alone.

You glanced over and admired the landscape in front of you. You should've brought your notebook to sketch the scenery out.

"Excuse me," a familiar voice called.

You turned and saw someone you didn't expect,"Joshua?"

He smiled,"Surprise! Happy birthday!"

You pursed your lips, trying to contain your excitement,"thank you. I didn't know you were in the states!"

"Of course! I had to visit you," he took the seat across from you. "Have you ordered yet?" You shook your head and gazed at the menu.

After the meal, you and Joshua just walked around the city like the last time the two of you hung out.

"How long are you staying?" You asked, afraid the night was going to end too quickly.

"A week, I took along one of my members since he hasn't visited in a while." He informed and threw you a smile. “I think he bumped in your friend on the way here. They’re probably hanging out with each other right now.”

Your cheeks heated and turned away from him,"nice." You two stopped in front of a lit up tree, admiring it for a moment.

"Y/N?" He grabbed your hands and held them softly. Your eyes widened, your mind racing.

"Yeah?" You hesitated.

"It's going to be hard, but I'm willing to make it work. Do you want to...you know, be mine?" His own cheeks began to grow red.

You laughed and nodded,"of course."

His eyes brightened at your response and he couldn't hold himself back when he pressed his lips against yours.

THE END!! HAPPY BELATED TO MY FAVE JOSHUA & TAEHYUNG STAN,, this is part 1/2 on my birthday imagines ((;

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

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Pairing : Husband!Choi Seungcheol x F!Reader TW : children ; adultry ; divorce ; angst ; Word Count : 3.1k

The breakfast table was full of life as your daughters sat around it, laughing, joking, teasing each other playfully as you and your husband watched on in adoration. Neither of them knew how hard it was for you to continue smiling, the continue playing the role in this act that you had called your life. Of course, you loved them, you adored them, you devoted your life to them from the second they were born… But the man who sat at the other end of the table, wearing the same smile as you, the man that you had vowed to devote your life to… You didn’t love him, not anymore, not the way you used to, you just couldn’t.

The house was empty now, at least it felt that way once your girls left for school. Even with Cheol sitting across from you at the table, it just felt empty, and it had been feeling that way for the last two years now. “I can’t keep doing this… It’s not fair to them, it’s not fair to me.” You murmured, your fingers tugging at your rings to slip them off, but his hand immediately shot across the table to stop you.

“It doesn’t have to be like this… It was a mistake, I know it was… I’ve been regretting it and I always will, but I haven’t done it since. I love you, Y/N… Only you. I love our family, our girls…” His thumb brushed along the diamond facet that adorned the ring that he had placed on your finger almost ten years ago now. “I know that you’ll never forgive me… And I don’t ever expect you to, but I don’t want to throw this away. Even if not for us… For the girls…”

The girls, who had been your only reason for staying the extra two years anyway, but you couldn’t keep pretending, it was getting harder and harder with each passing day. “I can’t even look at you… Not the way that I used to…” You choked out, sliding your hand out from underneath his. “Every time I see your face, when I wake up next to you… All I can see is… That day… I can’t forget it, and I can’t forgive you…” You took a shaky breath, exhaling it in a soft sob. “I can’t keep pretending to live every single day like nothing is wrong. I can’t trust you… It’s unbearable… I don’t even want to look at you.”

His hands slid back across the table as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes glossing over with unshed tears. “I… I’m sorry…” He whimpered, almost folding into himself as he slumped forward. “Y-You’re my wife… my everything… I don’t want to live without you, without our girls…” His bottom lip trembled as stared at the silver band that wrapped around his own finger, engraved with both of your initials. “I love you… you know that…”

You shuddered at the proclamation, three words that used to have your heart fluttering whenever you heard him say it, but now it only hurt you. You just couldn’t believe him. “Please don’t say that. Don’t tell me you love me.” You sighed, shaking your head before letting it drop down into your hands. “I think it would be best if… if we just got a d-“

His eyes widened as his head whipped up at you. “Don’t say the D word… don’t say that. We don’t need that.” He whispered it as if just the beginning letter of the word were nothing but filth. “What would it do to the girls? Think about them…”

You groaned loudly, tired of it, the constant back and forth and then the settling that you’d do when your daughters were brought up. “Stop using them against me, Cheol!” You frustratedly sighed, running your hands through your already tousled hair. “I’m sure they’ll understand enough, at least until they’re older and I can tell them the real reason.”

“The real reason?” He posed, leaning back in his chair, his shoulders slumping as his eyes stared down at his hands folded in his lap. “My secretary… she was nothing to me. It was… It was a slip up, a mistake. It just… It happened, and I don’t… I don’t want the girls to know about that. I want them to think that we loved each other, we just… we couldn’t be together anymore…”

“That excuse will only create more questions.” You mumbled, leaning back in your chair just as he was. “They have the right to know the truth about you, about what you did to me, how you ruined this family.” You let out a huff, but when you inhaled, it was like a new breath of fresh air. It had been so hard to hold that in for so long, and now you finally got it off your chest. “I won’t tell them now though, not yet, and it’s not for you, it’s for them, to protect their innocence.”

“Please, just… Just one chance.” The plea fell from his lips in a single breath, one lost attempt to salvage his marriage, his family, but it was already gone, he just needed to come to terms with it, much like you had to when you had caught him in the act. “I-I… I fired her after you caught us… I haven’t even spoken to her since that day. I don’t want anyone but you. I haven’t been with anyone that isn’t you in two years… I swear on everything, it’s the truth.”

Your lips were drawn in, and the hardest part was that you knew he was being honest, you knew that ever since that day, he had been nothing but faithful… But there was doubt lingering in your mind and in your heart about just how faithful he’d stay. “That memory… What I saw… It will always be with me. I can’t forget that…” The lump in your throat was painfully swallowed down as you slowly slid the rings off your finger and placed them on the center of the table. “I can’t… The trust… It’s not there anymore. I love you, but not the way I used to. I simply love you because you’re the father of my children, but nothing more than that. I want you to be happy, I want you to be healthy, I want you to be safe… But I don’t want to be with you, not anymore.”

Those words were the hardest to get out because that was the end, it was the end of everything, the end of all the years you had put into being with him, all the times you shared together, all of the family vacations, lazy weekend mornings walking out of bed and seeing him in the kitchen attempting to make breakfast. It was the end of family holidays where the four of you were together and happy… Although the end had come two years ago, and even though he was still there, it was simply prolonging what you knew had to be done.

It had been over the moment you stepped into his office, a bag of carry out in your hands, a familiar flutter in your stomach whenever you thought about seeing him. You were going to talk to him about the upcoming trip that he, you, and the kids would take while they were on spring break, a trip that you were looking forward to surprising the girls with. You never thought that you’d find him and his secretary caught in the most intimate of acts in his office. You remembered the way your heart sank, your stomach dropping just as fast as the bag of food you had been carrying. You didn’t even care that the contents of the bag had spilled out across the freshly steam cleaned carpets, you had lost all sense of your appetite anyway. That had been the end, and no amount of apologies or gifts, no amount of I love you’s or notes written neatly in apology cards would ever make up for the pain and the heartache he had caused you that day. It was over.

“Mr. Joshua is taking us to Disney during summer vacation, did mom tell you that?” Hyeri looked up at Cheol as he stood at the checkout line at the store. He both loved and hated visitation weekends. He missed his girls dearly during the week, and every single evening spent alone was just another reminder that he had ruined everything because of his selfishness and his carelessness. He loved when Hyeri and Yuri would be dropped off at his place, and he’d relish in the hugs they’d give him, he’d listen intently to the stories they’d tell him about how school went that week and all the things they were learning. But he hated hearing about Mr. Joshua, the man in your life that had taken his place, the man that was soon to be your husband and the step-father of his girls. “He even said he’s gonna get us into the castle. Yuri is super excited!”

It took everything for him to not be upset about it, only because he didn’t want the girls to be upset with him for not being excited with them. Surely they didn’t understand that this Mr. Joshua character was a threat to Cheol and he hated even the utterance of his name. “That’s… That’s wonderful, honey. I’m sure that you and your sister will have a great time.” He rustled her hair before grabbing the bags of groceries off the ledge of the checkout counter before grabbing both his daughters hands and walking to the car. “So… Where do you think we should go this summer? We can go to the beach or to a really cool amusement park… What do you think?”

No, he wasn’t trying to one up your new fiance, he was simply trying to figure out something fun to do with his children during their summer vacation. It’s not like he felt like he was losing his daughters to some guy that he only met a couple times during their birthday parties. Nope. “Well, Mr. Josh said that there’s a beach there too. It’s in like… California or something.” Yuri said, climbing into the backseat and clicking her seatbelt before pulling out her phone, just another thing that your soon to be husband had gifted his daughters with.

“California? Like… In America California?” Cheol stammered out, pausing at the back of the car as he piled the groceries in the trunk. “Your mother never told me about that… When… When was she going to tell me?” He couldn’t wrap his head around it, and while he was happy that his daughters were so excited for the trip, he couldn’t help but be agitated about the obscurity of all the details and how much he didn’t know.

“I don’t know…” Hyeri mumbled, her face, much like her sisters, glued to the phone in her hand. The sight irritated him, they were only 12 and 10 years old, they shouldn’t even have devices like that. “I really wanted to go to that arcade though, the new one, with the laser tag. That looked fun.” She mused, and Cheol made sure to remember that while also trying to control his irritation as he closed the trunk and climbed into the driver's seat. He needed to talk to you, and he needed to talk to you as soon as possible.

“Alright, you two go play for a bit while I start cooking dinner. Think of a movie for us to watch before bed too.” Cheol called out after the girls as they ran into the house, but much to his disappointment, they went into their separate rooms and he was sure that they were just going to be on their phones until he called them for dinner. The only good thing about it was that he could call you and not have them listen to him. He quickly pulled out his phone and slipped in an earbud, dialing your number and waiting for you to pick up.

“Hey… Is everything alright? Are the girls okay? It’s not time for their goodnight call… What’s going on?” Your panicked voice came through in his ear after the first ring, and he could hear the sound of someone, a man, most likely Joshua asking what was going on in the background. “Hello? Cheol?”

He cleared his throat, taking one last glance at the girls' rooms to make sure he was in the clear before speaking. “When were you going to tell me about this California trip? You can’t just take vacations like that without telling me about them… Especially not out of the country, Y/N.” He ranted, running his hands through his hair as he angrily started pulling groceries out of the bags. “You might be enjoying your life and living it up with your new man right now, but they’re my kids too and I’d like to know where they’re going and what they’re doing.”

The sound of a heavy sigh from your end came rushing through his earphone like a gust of wind. “For Christs sake, Cheol. We just talked about it this morning before you get them. I was going to tell you when it was actually set in stone, but right now we don’t even know when we’re taking the trip. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t make it seem like I’m the bitch right now for finding someone who not only loves me, but loves our girls enough to want to take them on vacations and do things with all of us as a family.”

Family… The word, whether you knew it or not, was like a gunshot wound right through his chest. Family was something that he had always wanted, something that he had gotten, but he had taken it for granted and lost it in the blink of an eye. It should be him taking you and his girls on trips to California, taking his girls to Disney for the summer, but it wasn’t, and never would be. All he could feel was anger about it, anger and regret. “Yeah, he loves them so much… That’s… That’s why he got them those phones that they’re attached to now. Won’t even get off them to play like normal damn kids anymore. He’s father of the year though, right?”

“Good God, is this really what this is about?” You muttered, and the sound of it, the way you sounded so annoyed, yet your voice was still so beautiful, it hurt him even more. “They got the phones in case of an emergency. They weren’t even supposed to take them over your house, so you can take them away if you want, but when they come home Joshua and I will have a talk with them about it. And if this is about you being worried about Josh one upping you as a dad… You’re being ridiculous. Hyeri and Yuri love you, more than anything. You don’t have anything to be worried about. Just enjoy the weekend with the girls, get them off their phones and spend time with them… That’s what they want. Okay?”

He took a shaky breath, his body hunched over the counter and his hand covering his mouth as he let out broken sobs that he tried to muffle in his palm. “I miss you… I miss you so much. I miss being home with you and the girls, I miss life with you, with my family… I love you… I can’t stop loving you… I don’t want to be with anyone if it’s not you…” It had been two years since the divorce, since you packed up with the girls and left to live in your own apartment. His heart completely shattered that day, and the only time it ever feels even half mended is on the weekends when he has Hyeri and Yuri, but having to let them go is like feeling that heartbreak all over again. “You said you wanted me to be happy, but I’m not… I’m not, Y/N. I feel like I’m dying… My life is nothing without you and the girls in it… How could you move on?”

Your own ragged breaths, as if you were crying as well, were heard through the earphone. Were you crying? Did you miss him too? “Please don’t do this… You don’t know how hard it was for me to let go of everything that we had. There’s memories of you constantly, memories that I’ll never be able to get rid of. I miss what we had before the incident, I love the you that I thought you were… I’ve never fully moved on, and I know that I never will… But I couldn’t stay with you. I needed to be with someone that I know I can trust, that I know won’t hurt me… I needed to move forward… But I never moved on. You need to move forward too.” He heard the deep breath, the way it got lodged in your throat before you had to clear it to speak again. “I have to go, okay? Tell the girls I love them, and try to get them off their phones. Play a boardgame or something with them… They miss you all week… Don’t waste the time you have with them… Please? Goodbye, Cheol… I’ll see you Sunday night.”

And with that the call was ended, and he was left crying more than he had been before. Just another revelation that it had been his fault that he lost everything, that you were now moving forward in your life with a new man, a guy that would most likely end up closer to his daughters than he ever will be. He was the better man, a man that Cheols daughters could look up to, a man that wouldn’t hurt his family the way Cheol had.

Life had gone on for you, for his girls, but for him, he was stuck in the past, living over and over the day at the table when you had ended things for good. It was the day he finally realized just how badly he had messed up, and just how great the loss was. He felt it then, and he was still feeling it now as the silence surrounded him in the house that was once a home for his family, a house that he refused to leave. There was no happiness, and there never would be. He’d never get you back, he’d only see his girls on the weekends…. How could his life ever go on when the only things that gave his life meaning he had carelessly thrown away?

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vernon12 · 7 years

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Masterlist

Reminder: None of the posts are mine, and i give full credit to the real owners of the posts.

svtn-imagines:

School’s Field Trip

vernon-luv:

Sofia’s Girlfriend - Vernon Drabble

Vernon Reaction to You Flirting with Other Guys

Busy

Unexpected

Lazy Morning

Partners

Surprise Talent

Mr. Headphones (Highschool AU):

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12 (Final)

ieechans:

Something | Criminal!AU:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9 (Final)

#vernon #vernon imagine #vernon scenarios #seventeen

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blbabysworld · 4 years

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Woozi: *sees baby crying*

Woozi: *starts to rock it* It's okay buddy. Later in life you'll learn to do that on the inside

Dino:

Dino: Dude are you okay

#seventeen #seventeen woozi #seventeen dino #svtn #svt dino #svt woozi #incorrect kpop quotes #kpop edits #kpop meme #kpop memes #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop roleplay #kpop icons #kpop scenarios

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cloudybabysworld · 6 years

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KPOP WALLPAPERS (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/UiNb/0tuDQKmxfJ Here you sad fanboys/girls Happy fucking endings

#random #bts #exo #got7 #imagines #jyp #kpop #seventeen #svtn #wallpaper #books #amreading #wattpad

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cinnamon-todd · 7 years

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Get To Know Me Tag! I was tagged by: @zeonghan Rules: Answer the 20 questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better. — Nickname: brit Gender: vag Star Sign: libra pads Height: 5'5 Time right now: 10:34 pm Last thing I googled: how to look pretty lmao Favorite Bands: bigbang p!atd svtn 21 ik wn Favorite Solo Artists: lee hi, lee hyori, cl, nicki minaj when I feel like it Song stuck in your head: glass bead by gf idunno y it just is Last movie I watched: titanic, that’s how I became a Vernon stan Last TV Show I watched: omg idek the news?? Ive stopped watching since 2014 When did you create your blog: like last yr dec?? ive had many blogs What kind of stuff do you post: I just reblog random stuff but if I get an idea for a scenario I post it pn here When did your blog reach its peak: still waitin Do you have any other blogs: I use to own a disney and dc acc but then I deleted lmao Do you get asks regularly?: nahhh Why you chose your URL: bc jisoo of bp and jisoo of svtn Following: people who post quality imagines or reblogs my fav groups Posts: 1,300 o_e Hogwarts House: idekk man I don’t fck w dis shit but I do enjoy a good Hogwarts au Pokémon Team: Pikachu??? 1+1= rideum ta Favorite colors: dark colours or nice light colours that compliment me well Average hours of sleep: 8 I nap a lot and go to bed early sometimes Lucky Numbers: 15 Favorite Characters: **sweats nervously* umm I like spongebob?? Marie of aristocats cs she knows how to hold up her own paws and slay moana bc she reppin dem tides bubbles of power puff girls that bitch crack up lmaooo lisa from simpsons cause she stands up for wats gud Vernon on smtm bc that was funny What are you wearing right now: dark red box shirt and sum coochie cutters How many blankets do you sleep with: currently one but summer is ending actually it neded yesterday Dream job: rich n famous is all im gonna say Dream trip: Greece, japan, sth korea and las vegas!! Hopefully gonna get half of those dun in the next 5 years lmao

#gongyminzy

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 10 months

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Pairing : non!idol Joshua Hong x F!Reader TW : apocalypse au ; gentleman joshua does not exist in this universe ; plot twist at the end ; it's just angsty ; Word Count : 2.0k Request : nope

How in the hell did you manage to get stuck with someone like him during a time like this? The world was ending pretty much, and you managed to be stuck in the fucking apocalypse with the biggest asshole that might have been left on the face of the earth. You shouldn’t be complaining, if it weren’t for him you’d be dead… At least that’s what he told you literally every single time the tiniest complaint left your lips.

You felt like you had the right to complain though, considering the fact that you wanted what could possibly be the last few hours of your life to not be being told that you were slowing him down and that he wished he had gotten stuck with someone who wasn’t “up to speed” on survival tactics. The fuck did he do while the world was still running? Watch Youtube videos on how to survive in the wild with a stick and dirt?

Of course, during a catastrophic event such as the one that you found yourselves in, there were times when maybe a little bit too much liquor was consumed when assumed to be in a safe place, and maybe you both were desperate to feel the touch of another person after having gone without it for so long. Mistakes were made, but you had watched enough apocalyptic movies to know that you surely weren’t the first and only person to be making those mistakes.

The regret and disgust would kick in as soon as you woke up the next morning underneath the sheets with him right beside you, the feeling of the hard floor against your bare body was enough for you to know that what had happened the night before wasn’t something that you would have done with someone like him on a normal night. That didn’t keep those mistakes from happening multiple times though because, again… You were lonely, and you were desperate, and you had every damn right to be needy. It’s not like he was trying to stop you either.

Sadly those mistakes led to you at some point, the timing unbeknownst to you, catching feelings for him. What a shame. You found yourself trying to move faster, work harder, prove to him that you were worthy of being beside him during this time, and maybe, if things got better, you’d maybe be worthy of staying beside him once everything was fixed. You were much more needy than usual, and maybe that was you subconsciously just trying to get your fill of him before he got tired of you. You knew that day would come, you knew deep down that he wouldn’t actually want you… But that didn’t stop you from hopelessly hoping that he would.

“Josh!” You called out his name as you burst through the door of the safe house that you had crashed in the night before. You were breathless, bags of stolen food stashed under your arms as you stared at him. He quickly whipped around on his heel, rushing over to you and grabbing the food away from you, his own breathing heavy and you could hear the agitation in it.

“Where the fuck were you? I woke up and you were gone, what the fuck is that?” He ranted, dropping the bags to the floor and then crouching down to look through them. “If one of us leaves, we tell each other. You know that. We don’t leave alone anyway, it’s not safe.” He mumbled, and now wasn’t exactly the time to get flustered by his words, but for a moment it actually sounded like he cared.

“I saw guards… They had people with them… They were following them and… We have to go now…” You rambled, your hands planted on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You shouldn’t have expected him to give you much time to actually recuperate from running back to the safe house, as soon as he heard about the guards and the potential to actually be saved, he was picking up the bags and pushing you out the door.

“Which way did they go? You should have called them over! Fuck! I refuse to be out here forever, this is shit.” He kept pushing you forward, and while in the beginning you would have usually tripped over your own feet with all of his shoving, your balance has gotten much better, mostly in part to you wanting to impress him, to show him that you were worthy of his time and of his presence.

“There!” You shouted, pointing out the moving forms of people that were just slightly in the distance, picking up the pace to try to catch up to them. “Hey! Over here!” You shouted, hoping that you’d get their attention, and now Joshua was grabbing your hand, completely forgetting about the stolen groceries that he had dropped to the ground just so he could run with you.

Your heart was racing, but the heavy hammering in your chest wasn’t due to the physical exertion of running. He was holding your hand, his fingers intertwined so tightly with your own, it felt like he was never going to let go, and part of you… well, actually, a majority of you wished that he wouldn’t. “Stop! Please!” He shouted, and the guards finally turned to face the both of you, their guns drawn in your direction causing you both to freeze and throw your hands up.

The two of you were quickly inspected before being thrown in with the group of others that had managed to survive, and the entire time you both walked, his hand was wrapped firmly around your wrist, pulling you closer to him whenever you got tossed around by disgruntled survivors. “I think we’re safe now…” You murmured, glancing quickly up at him, but dropping your gaze when you realized he was looking down at you.

“Why did you come back to get me?” He asked, and you thought that it would have been obvious, the answer was as clear as the sun in the sky, at least to you it was. “You should have just saved yourself. What if we didn’t find them? What if you had lost the guards? We would have been stuck there even longer… Having to fight for food… It would have been awful.”

“Because I wanted you to be safe too… I wanted to make sure you were saved… Because I know you would have done the same for me.” Of course, you didn’t actually know that… It was simply wishful thinking on your behalf. You hoped that by now he would have cared enough about you to come get you… But the way he stared at you with no expression at all just proved that your thought was completely wrong.

“Seems like you don’t know me then.” He said flatly, letting your arm drop as he let go of your wrist. “I wouldn’t have come back for you at all… I would have saved myself first. I would have let them know you were back there… But I wouldn’t have risked my chance of being safe just to save you.”

You didn’t need the full explanation, you knew damn well what he had meant in the first half, but as if to rub salt in the wound, he felt the need to draw a bigger picture, and the bigger picture for him was simply a picture of himself. “You don’t care about me… at all? You wouldn’t have cared if I had gotten saved or not?” You asked the questions, but you weren’t sure whether you actually wanted to hear the answers.

“I’ve spent the better half of this past year making sure you stayed alive… I feel like I’ve saved you enough.” He retorted and you knew that he would be like this, you knew how he was, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

“After everything… We-”

“You were there. You were practically throwing yourself at me… why would I use my hand when you were making it so easy?” It was another solid blow, and while on the outside you were standing up straight, on the inside you were doubled over, sobbing and on the verge of throwing up. The end of the world had made you pretty good at suppressing your emotions, and you’d be damned if you showed them now in front of him. “I mean, what did you expect? This isn’t some k-drama where we fall in love at the end. I don’t like you, and to be quite honest, you were the worst part of this entire apocalypse. I hated having to deal with you.”

“Then why did you help me? What was the point?” He had already hurt you enough, asking that final question wasn’t going to do any more damage.

“I guess I just wanted some good karma, just in case I didn’t make it. Like… Yeah, I’m an asshole… But I helped the most annoying person survive through the end of the world so that’s gotta be good for something.” He let out a chuckle, and that’s when you lost it. You were humiliated and he just… he thought it was funny, he thought it was a big joke now that he was on his way to somewhere safe.

“If it weren’t for me you still would have been in that run down fucking shack. But you’re right, you are an asshole… But you didn’t help me survive. If anything, you made me wish that I hadn’t because I had to put up with your shit.” You snapped back, and he rolled his eyes, but at least he was listening to you. “I didn’t need you… I still don’t need you. I don’t need anything or anyone.”

He scoffed, his lips turned up into the most arrogant looking smile you had ever seen a person wear. “Sure you don’t. You’re helpless.” He snarkily stated, and it almost seemed like he was saying it loud on purpose, as if the other people that were around you would give a single shit about what he had to say.

“No. I’m not.” Was the last thing you said, pushing your way through the crowd, going the opposite way and breaking through them. It was stupid, sure… But you were hell bent on proving yourself, and even if you didn’t… Even if you were to die in the process of trying to prove your point… It’s not like he would know, and he probably wouldn’t even give a shit.

He watched as you pushed your way back, and for a second he thought that maybe you were just fucking with him, trying to get him worked up, but when he looked back and didn’t see you still in the crowd as he had expected, he started to panic. “What the fuck…” He mumbled, pushing himself up on his toes to see past the people behind him. They pushed past him, grumbling curses at him and shoving him aside as they moved around him, but he was too focused on trying to find you, and that’s when he spotted you walking away from the crowd… Back towards the shack… “W-Wait! We have to go back! Go back!” He shouted, trying to push past the guards that you had somehow managed to make it around.

“Move forward!” The guards shouted, pushing against him as he continued to try to go around them. What the fuck were you doing?! Why? Was it so important for you to prove this to yourself… Were you trying to prove something to him?

“Please! Sh-She got out! You have to-” The sound of a gunshot rang out from where you had been headed, and while everything around him became chaotic as the guards tried to move everyone somewhere safe, he couldn’t help but wonder where the bullet had gone, what it had struck… Who it had stuck. All of the words he had said… Why? Why was he so scared of letting you stay in his life when he had already let you in? What was he expecting when it was done? He wasn’t sure before, and while at the time that he was stuck with you, he couldn’t wait for you to be gone… Now he didn’t know if he’d be able to manage the world without you.

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

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Pairing : Idol!Wen Junhui x Idol!F!Reader TW : dating scandals ; cheating ; arguing ; breakup ; Word Count : 2.1k

“Another one…” Jun sighed as he dropped the stack of screenshot pictures onto the table in front of you. It’s not like you didn’t already know what it was, but curiosity had you opening the little manila folder to look through the images. “This is why I say we can’t go out. It’s like they’re looking for us now.” He dropped down onto the couch along the wall as you continued to look through the pictures, your head shaking.

“It’s not like it’s a scandal though, we’re actually together. You’re the one that won’t come out about it… I’ve been waiting to tell my fans.” You mumbled, turning your body completely in the chair until you were facing him. “I don’t know why you’re so hell bent on hiding it.”

His eyes rolled as his head fell back against the wall behind him, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “Because your group is nothing in comparison to mine, do you know how much backlash we’d get? It would be the equivalent to me dating a complete nobody. I can’t just do that.” You bit the inside of your cheeks to hold back the words that you wanted so badly to throw in his direction, the only reason why you weren’t tearing up right now is because the makeup artist that had busted her ass to get you ready wouldn’t be happy if you smudged all the work she had done. “Don’t tell me you’re upset about that. You know it’s true. People will say that the only reason we’re dating is because your group needs more publicity.”

You nodded your head slowly, biting your tongue as you pushed yourself up from your chair. “God forbid our relationship ruin your image.” You muttered before taking a final sip of your drink. “Don’t wait up for me after the show, I’ll go back to the dorms with the girls.” You added as you walked past him, slamming your dressing room door behind you on the way out.

“Now you’re being ridiculous.” He called out after you, running behind you to catch up until he was walking beside you in the hall. “All I was saying is that we can’t be seen out in public together and you’re making it into this big thing that it doesn’t have to be. You’d understand if your group was as famous as mine is.”

“See! You just completely undermine everything that me and the girls have worked so hard to do. Just because we’re not at the big award shows or being nominated on MTV for best music video of the year… It doesn’t mean that we’re shit. We just haven’t made it yet. And if you were so worried about being with someone from a nothing group like mine, then why the fuck did you get with me to begin with?” You whipped your head in his direction, glaring down at him, letting your anger take hold of you because if you felt anything else you’d surely start crying.

“You blow everything out of proportion… I never said any of that. You’re reading into everything and putting words into my mouth.” He scoffed, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall. “Do you ever think that maybe I’m doing it to protect you too, so that reports don’t come out saying that the only reason we’re together is because your group isn’t good enough to get views without the scandals.”

Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh, although there was nothing funny and you weren’t feeling very lighthearted at the moment. “No. I didn’t think that, because I know that’s not the reason you’re doing it. You’re too selfish to give a shit about all of that. You only care about yourself and your group and your fame and what people might say about you. Don’t even try to tell me that it’s about anything but that because I know it’s bullshit.” You took a deep breath, doing your best to compose yourself as your group's name was called to come get ready to go on stage. “Seriously, just don’t be here when I get off stage.”

And he wasn’t. He wasn’t there at all waiting behind the scenes like he usually would be with a little towel and a bottle of water for you. You weren’t met with compliments of how good you and your group had done, you weren’t met with anything but emptiness. Of course, you had been the one to tell him not to be there, but he usually never listened. He loved watching you perform, he always told you how proud he was of you when you’d run off stage, and part of you was hoping to hear that. Maybe if you had, all of your anger would have washed away because at the end of the day, he was your boyfriend and maybe what he had said was true and you were just going overboard.

“Jun isn’t here?” The maknae of your group questioned as she came up behind you and you merely shrugged your shoulders, giving her a purse lipped smile. “Maybe we were just too good, he couldn’t handle it. Or he had to go to the bathroom. He might be in your dressing room waiting for you too though…”

Maybe she was right, maybe he was waiting for you in your dressing room. Maybe he was tired from putting on his own show earlier that day and he needed to sit down, get some rest. You knew that he and the guys always worked hard to give the best shows to carats, no matter how physically strenuous or exhausting it was. His career was important to him, his group was important to him, and while you had read his words as rude and inconsiderate earlier, you started to feel guilty for the way you acted. The guys came first, they were there before you, and while he cared about you deeply, he didn’t want to ruin what he and the guys had worked so hard for and you understood that.

The heels that you had been put in for the show had long since been taken off, replaced with a comfortable pair of slippers for your walk down the long hall towards your dressing room. Your heart was pounding, and while you didn’t really have a reason to be nervous around him, it didn’t change the fact that you were. You didn’t know how to really start an apology because while you felt slightly bad for losing your temper a little, you also had your own group to defend. The two of you really needed to talk about things, sort out the scandals and figure out what you were both going to do moving forward.

Pausing outside the white door that had your name on it, you took a deep breath before grabbing the handle and pushing it open only to be caught off guard, quickly slamming the door shut as apologies rushed out of your mouth. You had to have gotten the wrong room, but another glance at the name on the door had you throwing it open once more and reluctantly looking at the two people that were fumbling to pick their clothes up off the floor.

“Oh… My god…” Your mouth felt dry, your tongue and your throat, it was causing you to gag as you looked at who you thought to be the love of your life pulling on his pants, his motions frenzied and sporadic. “What in the actual fuck, Jun!?” You shouted, your breaths rapid as you looked between the makeup artist that had just finished getting you ready not even a full hour ago.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Ms. Y/N…” She murmured, her head ducked down as she nervously moved past you. You didn’t have anything to say to her though, all of your attention, all of your anger was focused solely on Jun who was standing awkwardly in the center of the room, his shirt unkempt and wrinkled, barely even hugging his frame as it once had from clearly being tugged on a little too much.

“You know what… I don’t want your explanation… I just want you to leave.” You muttered, slumping against the doorframe, giving him enough room to move past you, but he didn’t move at all, instead keeping his feet firmly planted as he continued to stare at you. “Can you please just go… I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want you around me! Just leave!”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea… I love you, Y/N… I was just a little irritated and I needed to let out some of my irritation and…” He quickly shut up when your eyes turned to daggers, glaring at him from across the room. “I didn’t plan on doing that! It was like a… a spur of the moment type thing and… I can see why you might be upset about it… But it really was nothing…”

It took everything in you to not lash out right now, to not scream at him with every last breath in your lungs, and the only reason you held back was because you didn’t want people to come running, you didn’t want anyone to see what was going on or hear what had happened. It was humiliating to be cheated on, but it was far worse if everyone else knew about it too, especially before you even had the chance to fully come to terms with it.

“So I can go fuck Soonyoung because I’m really irritated right now and it’ll be a spur of the moment thing, but it’s also nothing? Is that what you’re telling me?” You proposed, and his eyes widened as his jaw set, anger flashing across his face. “Oh, that only works when you do it, right?”

“That’s different and you know it… He’s like my brother, you can’t do that.” He retorted, his nostrils flaring from the anger that he wasn’t even trying to hold back. “You can’t… You can’t cheat on me with one of the other guys.”

You snorted softly, shaking your head as you slowly started walking towards him, an impish smile on your face as you stood in front of him. “It’s not cheating if we break up, and just in case it didn’t cross your mind during your little defense moment… We broke up. I can put up with your insults and your obviously bullshit lies as to why you didn’t want to be seen with me… But I don’t take kindly to cheating, and I’m surely not desperate enough to stay with one.” You folded your hands in front of you, feeling all the more powerful right now as you watched his expressions morph in quick succession, an overwhelming range of feelings perfectly displayed on his features. “I just think it would be best if we hadn’t met, you know?”

“But we have met, you’re my girlfriend… I’m… I’m in love with you. I messed up. What happened to strikes? I messed up once… I swear I’ll never do it again, I’ll go public with our relationship… I’ll do anything… Just, one more chance… Please?” God, you loved hearing him grovel, but it was all pointless.

“I was your girlfriend… But now I’m not, and I’d much rather pretend we never met at all. I don’t know you, and that’s the truth, because the person standing in front of me right now is not the person that I loved before. Cheaters don’t deserve chances…” You finished, much stronger than you had been feeling when you first walked into the room. “Now, I’d like to have my room back so that I can change into something more comfortable. You can leave now.” You motioned your hand toward the door and watched as he walked out, his shoulders slumped yet visibly shaking from the silent sobs he was holding in.

You might not be as big as he is, not fame wise at least… But you were a bigger person, and while he was so scared of risking his fame by saying he was with you, he had potentially created a bigger risk by doing what he had done. Not that you’d say anything, you respected the other guys too much, and they probably didn’t even know the man that stood beside them. He might not be able to hide his true personality well, but with the secret that you planned to keep came power, and you loved the feeling of it.

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