Love That Sponge
by tragicclownwrites
Spongebob kindly arranges a “practice date” for him and Squidward when the latter has a chance encounter that lands him an actual date. The practice session inevitably goes wrong, but not for the reasons either of them expected.
Or a slightly alternate ending to “Love That Squid” in which Spongebob manages to convince Squidward to finish their practice date, and how one final tenet changed everything.
Words: 11.2K, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English
Fandom: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M, F/M
Characters: Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob SquarePants, Squilvia (SpongeBob), Patrick Star, Gary the Snail (SpongeBob)
Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants x Squidward Tentacles, Squilvia x Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob SquarePants & Patrick Star
Additional Tags: First Dates, First Kiss, Romance, Fix-It of Sorts, Alternate Ending, Based on a SpongeBob SquarePants Episode, Feelings Realization, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, it's mutual dammit, Light Angst, Love at First Sight, or love at first kiss, Denial of Feelings, Acceptance
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As much as I love Spongebob and it’s main cast, I also like the character that are a part of some of the main’s history, it’s just sad that some of them are forgotten or oneoffs.
Like Squilliam being a long time rival to Squidward, we were never really given a reason why he decided to bully Squidward, him being rich and Squidward being poor isn’t enough of an excuse.
Maybe it’s because he’s actually genuinely lonely, his friends in the restaurant episode look rich as well so they either are leaching off of him or are actually rich and just accepted him because he’s like them.
Squidward is the only guy who isn’t a yes man to Squilliam that we know of and points out his flaws and constantly challenges Squilliam’s views in each episode we see them together.
I found him kind of a fun character even though he was an asshole to Squidward, maybe he is just an asshole that likes to flaunt his riches on poor folk I don’t know maybe I’m looking too far into it.
It’s a shame he hasn’t appeared in the official show for years now, would’ve been nice how he’d interact with other characters like Krabs, Sandy or even Plankton.
On the topic of Squidward, another character connected to him is Squilvia, I honestly loved her and Squidward in that episode.
It was the only time we get to see him acting bashful towards someone he likes and wants to be around, that doesn’t happen often, it’s kinda cute how he acted when she first walked in the restaurant.
And they’re like two peas in a pod, I wish they had kept her in the show longer so Squidward doesn’t have to be alone and miserable, if Krabs could get Mrs. Puff then why couldn’t Squidward be happy with Squilvia.
Also would’ve liked to see a girl’s night out episode with her, Sandy, Karen, Pearl, Mrs. Puff and even Princess Mindy.
We desperately need more women in the show than just the same people, would also be a perfect opportunity to develop her more.
Speaking of Princess Mindy, why on earth didn’t they bring her back?
They just brought back Dennis back and he’s from the Spongebob movie too so why not bring her back?
She was a perfect friend to Patrick and Spongebob, she was clearly the smartest out of both of them put together and genuinely so kind to the point where she was trying to stall her dad to give the boys more time.
She was also nice enough to give them a boost of confidence with the grass mustaches (even if they were fake) and the wind in a bag (which they ended up losing)
She could’ve been great friends with Sandy since they both seem to share smarts and a love for knowledge.
So sad she never showed up in the official show.
On the subject of Patrick, we never talk about his sister before they gave him another from the Patrick Star Show.
Considering that she’s older than Patrick I’m assuming she lives on her own, so it would explain as to why she isn’t in the Patrick Star Show since he’s still living with his parents due to being young and she’d probably be out of the house by then.
Even though she is rough with the main cast including her own brother, she does genuinely seem to care when Patrick is upset so she’s not heartless.
Sure she has anger issues but I think that adds to her character, even though Sam isn’t conveniently attractive I like that, I like that they don’t tone down the wackiness of her behavior just because she’s a girl.
Although I don’t like the fact that they made her stupid and unable to speak unless through grunting, I would’ve just had her as Patrick’s over protective sister that thinks Spongebob is a bad friend or a bad influence on Patrick.
Would’ve been funny if she met up with Spongebob’s cousin Blackjack since both of them seem to be similar in character and in strength.
Getting to Blackjack, he is apparently Spongebob’s cousin that keeps getting in and out of jail and was also a bully to him growing up.
Spongebob obviously gets upset when Blackjack says he’s coming back and wants Spongebob to come to his parents house or he’s dead.
It turns out Blackjack wasn’t holding Spongebob’s parents for ransom they were celebrating him getting out of jail.
I honestly kind of like Blackjack would love how he’d fit in at the Salty spitoon or even up against a guy like Larry.
Knowing that Spongebob has a cousin similar to himself I can only imagine how that cousin felt around Blackjack as well.
I’d actually like to see a full Spongebob family reunion episode of just his family and his friends showing up and accidentally ruining it while Spongebob’s trying to impress his folks.
And here is the man in question himself, Stanley S. Squarepants another one of Spongebob’s cousins.
Dude is known for having a streak of bad luck, having bad things inexplicably happen to him.
I always liked him as a kid and kinda related to his awkward, shy behavior.
He’s honestly one of my favorite relatives of Spongebob besides his grandma and Blackjack.
Dude’s well-meaning and kinda cute, honestly surprised how he didn’t become a tumblr sexyman, he fits all the checkmarks.
Spongebob tries to get him a job in his debut ep at the Krusty Krab but due to his bad luck makes the restaurant a living hell to work at.
Dude’s just trying his best to do things right but things go south for him anyway, this poor guy.
He seems to have an interest in photography, he should try to pursue that instead.
I could only imagine how terrified he’d be of Blackjack growing up, unless his bad luck worked on Blackjack too.
Dude is my favorite and I want him to come back so bad but I know it’s a slim chance and probably won’t happen.
Also did I mention he almost marries Harold?
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A Study of Squidward
Experiment 1: Squilvia
Squidward's first date "in a long time" -- it's not specified who he's dated before Squilvia, but I know most of us believe he dated Squilliam, but since we don't know that for certain, Squilvia is here at experiment 1.
Squilvia had a single date with Squidward and was only ever seen again on one Christmas promotion and disappeared into obscurity. She's never spoken about again so it's safe to assume that it was mutual that it just didn't work out. She's the only woman on this list who is actually a woman and actually had a date with Squidward.
Experiment 1 - failed.
Experiment 2: Patricia
This is Patrick.
Patrick in drag.
There is literally no change in personality and the only difference is the hair and makeup. He doesn't even speak in a "girly" voice...it's just...his normal voice.
For absolutely no reason, everybody falls in love with "Patricia" ... I don't even know what to say here. Obviously Patrick wants nothing to do with Squidward OR Mr. Krabs romantically. He doesn't understand why they're being so nice to him.
Experiment 2 is an auto-fail.
Experiment 3: Petunia
Oh, Squidward, Squidward.
Immediately he is infatuated by this lady...but this lady is actually Plankton in disguise. Obviously Plankton is only interested in getting the Krabby Patty formula, and to an extent he did love his flower shop, but he was absolutely in no way going to ever reciprocate Squidward's feelings.
Squidward was about to ask this woman he barely knows to marry him, that's how hard and fast he fell without ever getting to know the real Petunia (which, obviously, doesn't exist).
Experiment 3 - failed.
Aside from Squilvia (who looks like him, and we all know how much Squidward loves himself), the other two infatuations he has are both thick women. He has a *type* apparently.
Unfortunately for him, neither one of them are actually women. But I know someone else who is "thick" and is also obsessed with him.
Now if only Squidward would get his head out of his own ass and realize how much SpongeBob really loves him, he might actually have a happy ending for himself. But our bi king needs to realize women...do not work out for him. Not even Squilvia.
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