ngl still being a kaiser fan after 261 is lame

Omg this ask got me so tight when I got to it I had to hop on mylaptop to type my essay

Ok this is a little Personal and some of yall aren gonna fuck with me after this but it's ok . Kaiser is a character I identify with because he's a good portrayal of someone with NPD so WE WILL GET INTO IT!

So like that being said. What do you mean 'Still liking Kaiser after the leaks is lame' like genuinely what do you mean. I just woke up but are you guys like SURPRISED by this. I liked him when he was introduced and this is what he was acting like. There have been A HUNDRED more chapters of him acting the same way past introduction. And now he's still acting like it. I understand if you just hate him right off the bat that makes sense but this doesn't really. Even if you're one of those people who just liked him for the backstory reveal because you have a I Can Treat You Better hero complex re:abuse victims that behavior WAS shown EVEN IN 260. "I hit the ball but it doesn't hit back" - the author has a very specific way of writing and this was VERY much intentional

Also like I understand there might be an initial shock when reading such words. Like it's Unpleasant it's Ugly. But also it boils down to a State of mind which personally I've observed as common among victims of severe trauma. "These people are born 'humans'. Different from me, they were born 'wanted humans'." = I hate people who weren't hurt the same way I was because I am jealous and bitter, I'm so jealous and bitter it feels good to me to make others feel like shit. And I'm not trying to get on some Hurt People Hurt People bullshit because that shit is annoying and apologia but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes Trauma makes you unpleasant and ugly and erratic and I appreciate that Kaneshiro actually wrote it out. Also like that feeling by itself isn't inherently evil. I think it's a very natural response! In this case Kaiser goes too far not by experiencing this emotion but by acting on it.

So now with THAT out of the way too, I think we need to sit down and think more into the Ness situation. So first he says, "I can't accept kindness because all I know is malice. If anything I think malice makes life easier." Then he goes to say he is specifically looking for someone to make a "dog to his malice" and reads a psychology book to achieve that. Like first of all I'm sorry but that is so comically evil it's hilarious to me. He read a textbook to be a more efficient male manipulator. But anyway the way I understand that isn't a deep underlying evil within him but a need for control. I think he believes everyone will hurt and disorient him unless he feels like he's Controlling them. From an abusive household the only relationship dynamic he knows is person of authority - inferior party. His only friend is Ness and the only person he feels safe around being Ness is because of he tells himself Ness is his "dog" and therefore won't ever raise a hand to him. And that's because he thinks anyone who isn't his dog/under his control will do exactly that.

And so... If we go from there, from the parallel we understand Kaiser didn't see his meeting with Ness the same way Ness sees it. However, that doesn't mean Kaiser's view is the objective truth. I think they're both UNRELIABLE and EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. So what that means is that Ness sees his time together with Kaiser through a more glorified lens, while Kaiser denies himself thinking of Ness as a companion because that puts him in a vulnerable spot, so to maintain his feeling of being in control he exerts distance and tells himself Heh we aren't actually friends because he doesn't even know that one time I giggled at him in the showers I was actually just manipulating him all along because I am sooo evil and untouchable 😏. Like do we actually take this perception at face value here because to me it just seems like a Scared and Cowardly person trying to act out his idea of a strong person because the ONLY other time he's been in any meaningful proximity to someone he got beat up and degraded.

With that I also think Kaiser is very much narcissist posturing. He'slying to himself to make himself seem invulnerable and self-aggrandizing himself through his malice (I think pretending we are 100% evil and irredeemable makes a lot of us feel safe because it seems inhuman and people are easily hurt so you don't Ever want to be a multidimensional person with layered personality traits). Because like if you think about it without the emotional reaction of "I hope Ness kills you you stupid whore" that we all have... He actually isn't doing anything that big. Like in his head he's like Heh I'm soooo Patrick Bateman I have all the control 😏 but all he did was like find a guy to play football with.

Like he's trying to say to himself that he's all that. Sure he does insult Ness and that's not good! But he didn't pull off some Complicated deeply horrific scheme. I do not believe Kaiser has an objective view of himself. It really takes away the power from all of that when you realize what he's doing is just Very Pathetic and Paranoid and Intimacy Averse. "I can't have normal friends let me get this guy in on my master servant roleplay and I'll act like he's not enjoying it too because it'll make me feel more powerful" Men will do anything but go to counseling

Addendum: This is also not Kaiser. Now I don't know what kind of person Kaiser is but considering I read it as him suffering from NPD/a disordered personality that means he doesn't have a "real" identity most of the time, this is a shell we're seeing. He just has a mask maybe there's something underneath maybe there isn't and he's empty inside, but the point is he is the kind of character who has a specific way they want to portray themselves and will lie to both themselves and the audience to achieve it. Yes I believe that includes the I'm a male manipulator evilest person alive 😏 shtick too (I think the actual truth is probably somewhere in the middle of his and Ness's view. Most likely they're both incorrect).

Notice how Barou and Rin overcame things? That is because they have a real ego. Kaiser doesn't have a "real ego"/sense of self right now, all he has is his selfish act. I believe that is intentional because I think the Blue Lock mangaka shows a good grasp and understanding of psychology. The development is pointing towards him actually getting one during this match we'll see. Hey he might even change and grow as a person if that happens but I wouldn't get too overly optimistic!

Also we need to understand that we only see these people playing football we don't know what the fuck he's like outside of that. I currently don't have any reason to believe he's anything beyond rude and insufferable when like talking to people who aren't his football rivals and in Blue Lock on principle I believe everyone is at least 30% a better more bearable person off the field.

And to finish off my demented rant some of yall are fucking HYPOCRITICAL. So when Isagi takes joy in ruining people's dreams it's fine but when Kaiser does it he needs to kill himself? Let's be very serious.

TL;DR Kaiser's behavior makes total sense, his 261 characterization falls in line with everything we've seen of him before so there's no need for shock, and he looked good being dysfunctional and messed up too

Brotherhood of Steel

Oh, wow, this one's been languishing for like six months, sorry about that. Anyway the show is inspiring me to revisit this question- Anyway, one thing about the Brotherhood of steel- I think that to an extent, the Brotherhood in general suffers from the same kind of problem as Iron Man, where their out-of-universe popularity, star power, and resultant shoehorning into installments where they absolutely don't belong, all serve to elide that the actual text of even the Bethesda-produced Fallouts aren't particularly gung-ho about the Brotherhood as an organization.

I think the buzz around them, the misaimed-fandom they accrue and the resultant back-and-forth in all the discursive spaces, sort of primes you to expect a humanity-fuck-yeah sort of attitude in the source text. But in the games themselves, it's really only that Fallout 3 that positions the Brotherhood as straightforward quote-unquote "good guys," and paying even a little attention to the subtext demonstrates that that's an extremely tenuous and conditional status. Half of their guys started their own Brotherhood with blackjack and hookers because Lyons was too nice! Lyons got sent east in the first place because he was too nice! The guy they left behind in Pittsburg rebuilt the entire local economy as a slave society! Many of Lyons nominal "supporters" are at least quietly grumbling about his priorities when you talk to them, they're clearly itching to collapse back into a comfortable authoritarianism- which, of course, they do, come Fallout 4. Their turn in that direction was completely telegraphed by 3. And 4, which admittedly had a lot of mixed-messaging on this point, telegraphed.... whatever the fuck they've become in the TV show. Which is interesting, right, because if you're even remotely media-literate, it's impossible to view the TV version of the Brotherhood as anything remotely good. We're introduced with a hazing ritual, a panning shot of child-soldiers sharing a cigarette, meatheads playing a game of brickball, an Elder who screams "cult leader," a brotherhood knight who's framed as this monstrous, inhuman presence during Maximus's interrogation. The branding scene, the abuse of squires. And then they go from oppressive to pathetic- Titus dying like a chump, Thaddeus being the world's chew toy, a half-dozen Brotherhood knights existing as suitably impressive target practice for the Ghoul in a big showdown.

By volume, this is going to be most people's first introduction to the Brotherhood as an organization. This is what the Brotherhood is now, for all intents and purposes. I think they've basically poisoned the well on using the Brotherhood as a straightforwardly heroic faction ever again, and moreover it's adjusted my perception of whether even Bethesda ever understood them as such in the first place. It's still a complete worldbuilding kludge that they're on the East Coast at all, but I find myself wondering if hammering the Brotherhood into a suitably powerful antagonistic faction wasn't the long-term project here the whole time; if so, the obvious criticism from there is that the Brotherhood was a still a weird pick to evolve into that role, given their initial status in the first two games as a handful of overinflated bunker-dwelling pricks kept in a position of comparative superiority only by the failure of everyone else to play catch-up. Whatever, it can be made to work.

STARKID TRENDING CATEGORY 5 AUTISM EVENT

I’ve tried like 500 times to articulate my thoughts about nonwhite superman and how much that adds to his childhood of loneliness and every time I hit a stumbling block because the topic makes me too insane to think but please hold my hand and imagine this little boy trying to grow up in rural Kansas and being the only person he’s ever known who looks like he does. This little boy who never has a proper answer when people ask where he’s really from, and even once he knows the truth of himself he can never safely share it. Please imagine him fighting every single day to belong and never being able to no matter how hard he tries because people will always find something questionable in the very way he looks. A lot of the superman mythos is dependant on Clark’s ability to assimilate but when you take that away what is left?? He’s just a kid fighting so hard for a belonging he’ll never have a hope in hell of being handed. Oh it hurts my heart

have i mentioned how great cats are. there's a lil guy in my house and when i lay my head on her side she starts purring so hard <3 and ten seconds later she will try to open my wrist with her teeth <3 truly the best <3

It's probably not gonna happen because Rick prime doesn't care that much. But I think it would be '👀👀' if he starts compare other Jerrys to Hermit Jerry after their encounter....

Would you stop andrew hussie from ever creating homestuck if given the chance?

nope!! i know homestuck has its problems and some parts of it have aged like milk but i still think its a great webcomic with a big narrative value .. plus it has fundamentally changed me as a person and many of the friends i have now both online and irl i met thanks to it!! so while it might have some issues i still wouldnt have stopped hussie from ever creating it

i think people forgot that cas was more “wanted” than dean

if i dont finish the sopranos soon my brain will crawl out of my skull and finish it for me i think. this is a threat

do you have any pets in your life (don't have to be yours i just wanna see aminals..) :0

hi jack :) can you watch this while i go smoke

m1ckeyb3rry confesses: i will probably not ever write smut BUT. there is a certain scene in a certain fic of mine that has the main character having dreams of “fighting” another character and i want to say it here and now for my five followers all of tumblr to see…those were sex dreams. like they’re not explicitly described as such at first, in fact they’re pretty much described as standard fight scenes, but once you know i feel like you can’t unsee it (especially given the themes of the story and what fighting represents in it).

i’ll post the paragraphs under the cut for those wondering which fic it is!! and yes the story is tagged as having mature content on ao3 although that’s more for the violence than anything.

if you guessed past y/n l/n from hurricanes / hummingbirds, you were correct ‼️ like i said, it’s almost not even sexual in nature, so it’s really open to interpretation what she means by it and whether her and kashimo are fighting or fucking in those dreams of hers, but (slight spoiler warning) throughout the story, “fighting” is used as a metaphor for love, so make of that what you will

i could do whatever i want with monch's character and what will you do about it? huh? tell me i'm wrong? tell me their dialogue contradicts my ideas? Their Dialogue? Huh? All 2 of It?

im afraid to post or talk about superboy on my main instagram bc a lot of irls and different comic ppl follow me and i also get people who know him from different adaptations so i’d rather just gatekeep him than have to explain that this is my interpretation of superboy based on these comics/adaptations vs this adaptation etc. and also im so cringe about him it’s embarrassing like i dont need the instagram audience to know all that about me

—There was a concept he learned about, years ago, when he was but a boy under the tutelage of various scholars (prior to their replacement by Sariel). An old empire, one scholar had told him– a wizened old man who seemed more a part of his beloved history books than of the living– older than Rhodolite, or Obsidian, or even Benitoite. The people had a peculiar way of dealing with tyrants and despots they deemed unfit for the governing of the country. They would carve out the names of the damned from the annals of history, chip away at statues until they remained faceless, and destroy every record until there was nothing that could prove they had ever existed. A total condemnation of memory, he had said, stroking a contemplative hand over his whiskery beard, one that served to wipe every trace of their person from the people’s hearts and minds.

He didn’t need to ask what it felt like, because he already knew. Slowly but surely, over days, months, and years, his posture was fixed, his manner of speech grew refined, and every sinew and muscle in his body was tenderized over and over and over to make his body no longer recognizable to himself. Until he could walk like a royal, could talk like a royal, could effectively fool kin and community into believing he was their beloved prince. Until the yoke of authority felt as familiar on his shoulders as the chains of oppression, until his duties were as natural to him as sleeping and breathing.

Until every last fragment of his being was forgotten and replaced, leaving nothing behind but “Leon Dompteur”.

—excerpt from my wip of ‘Damnatio Memoriae’, a Leon character study

watching my brother who a) is 6 foot fucking 3 and b) plays about five different sports and c) is literally a completely average size be repeatedly fatshamed by my mother to his face and to random family members and strangers, to the point of his exact weight being told to one of his friends WHILE HE WAS NOT THERE, is just ... like. what am i supposed to do. how are we ever going to get out of here how are we ever going to heal.

PRECINCT 41 BULLPEN (C-Wing) -- The main workroom of C-wing is busy this time of day, full of officers milling about to get reports submitted so they can punch out and go home before they’re caught and assigned a last-minute evening field case. You spent years of your life, nearly two decades, here in this room in this building. And you had to be given a tour when you were taken back in. You have only been back for a few days, restricted to pencil-pushing until your general sanity can be vouched for and also until Kim’s transfer finalizes. Whichever takes longer.

SUGGESTION -- No one else would agree to partner with you, and in Jamrock no officer can go into the field alone. It’s a matter of policy, your questionable faculties notwithstanding. So you’d better get to liking the drone work-- you’ll be stuck at this desk until Kim gets here. Maybe longer.

ESPRIT DE CORPS (Easy: Success) -- On the other side of the silk mill, two people are dressing down in the locker room. Patrol officers Tillbrook and Mollins speak to each other over a wall of lockers for privacy. “Did you see? Tequila’s back. I thought he finally kicked it.” 

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “Do I want to see?” Mollins peeks around a row of lockers to grin. “How bad is it? Do we need to evacuate?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- The shake of his head carries an air of confusion. “He was… quiet. The rumors were true-- I had to reintroduce myself.” At Mollins’ scoff of disbelief, he continues-- “I saw him in the hall and I said, ‘Hey, Tequila!’ and he gave me this funny look and went-- do you know what he said? He just said ‘Don’t call me that, please.’ and he kept on walking. He said *please*, Emelie.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “So he really did lose his mind. I guess the jury’s out on whether he found it like you said he would.” Mollins shrugs. “I give it a week. Maybe two, if he and Vicquemare manage to avoid each other.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “Before he finds it?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- Mollins smiles. It is not sincere. There is worry, maybe fear, etched into the lines around her mouth. “Before he loses it again.”