so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

Re: hate anon

there’s really something to be said about how you guys punish women for being attracted to people 😕 we’re marketed things like sexual dances and hip thrusting and “boyfriend pov” music videos and apps where we can pretend to text our favorite member and engage in a parasocial relationship with them. And then a woman likes those things enough to write a fanfic or an imagine and hate anons are so quick to jump down their throat and report them. The double standard is… apparent.

My fics do not portray skz in any way other than pure fantasy and imagination of alternate universes where we can pretend what they’re like (because we’ll never truly know) and I’m a huge advocate for being able to safely explore your kinks or interests through reading. If that means the smut fic is based off the looks of an attractive male idol, I see nothing wrong with that.

Don’t come in here shaming my anons for what they request. It’s something they want to explore or read about and I’m here to fulfill that through the image of men we’re mutually attracted to. Women have historically been shamed for having sexual interests or preferences (and are often treated like garbage by their own partners) and if this serves as a form of escapism for them, then let it be. Block and move on. But you’re not allowed to come in here and shame grown adults for being attracted to other grown adults. Smut has been a thing for centuries, get over it.

this blog is a safe space, and requests or hard thoughts are always welcome if they follow my request guidelines. You guys are all allowed to have sexual attraction and it’s a part of being human to fantasize about someone. It’s not a punishment to be attracted to idols…newsflash… that’s what the companies want from you. They don’t make idols keep up this attractive parasocial image for nothing. If you’re still bothered by the fact that humans are inherently sexual beings, I might suggest some therapy because clearly you have something more going on :)

Did Carol visit Earth, and if so, when?

So in Wandavision, we learned that Monica has some sort of resentment towards Carol. When her name is brought up, Monica seems a little frustrated and somewhat eager to change the subject. And in Ms. Marvel, we learn that several people are under the impression that Carol completely abandoned Earth. This adds on to the common theory that Monica is upset with Carol because she is under the impression that Carol completely abandoned the Rambeaus, even during the time where Maria was dying. And to be completely fair, if Monica is under this impression, that means Carol really didnt visit for quite some time, but did she visit during the blip?

We know that Monica was dusted, but Maria was not. Meaning that Monica would be completely unaware if Carol visited in the five years that she was dusted. We also see in the new trailer for The Marvels (which you should totally watch btw) that Carol has 3 pictures hung up on a corner of her ship. A picture of a random canyon (which is possibly somewhere important to Carol), a picture of Maria, and a newspaper clipping talking about Monica. How did Carol get this newspaper clipping? Nick Fury most certainly didn't bring it with him when we see him leave at the end of Secret Invasion, so where Would Carol have gotten it? She would have had to have gone down to Earth herself and gotten it. And if Monica doesn't think Carol's visited since the events of Captain Marvel, that means that Carol would have visited during the events of the blip, visiting Maria, possibly even with her in her last moments.

I'm confident that this will be a topic that's explored in The Marvels, perhaps we'll learn how often Carol visited Maria, When she first visited, or how she reacted when she leared than Monica was dusted. We'll have to wait and see

TLDR: Monica thinks Carol didnt visit them, but she might have visited during the blip considering she has a newspaper clipping of monica in her spaceship.

GAH i didn't wanna do this bc im a gemini & i talk a lot if im unsupervised lol BUT YALL WERE POSTIN SOME SAPPY SHIT SO I WANTED TO JOIN (so sorry this is gonna be so long i apologize in advance)

this wasn't initially the road i was gonna take while talking about this but ofc if u read any of my writing or know me in any capacity, it shouldn't surprise you that we're getting sad lol

as i stood next to my partner watching the midnight fireworks last night, i had a fleeting thought -

16 year old me didn't think i'd still be here at 26 -

i didn't expect to still be on this earth in 2023

when i was around that age my home life was really shitty and abusive and lonely and my only saving grace at the time was the family i found within the one direction/5sos fandom. there were so many times then that my fandom friends saved me, literally.

i wouldn't be here today without them.

i stopped being in fandoms around 2016 and while i still have MANY long term close friends from that time, we all have gone our separate ways interest wise.

I didn't realize just how much i missed being a part of a community until i joined tumblr again. the austin/elvis fandom welcomed me with open arms & filled me with that same youthful joy and connection as i had when i was 16. and even BETTER bc this fandom has blown me away with how kind and gentle and loving it is

point is - i’m grateful that i AM still here, that i’ve been here long enough to meet you and experience this amazing fandom.

it's insane to me to think i would've never met some of the brightest stars of my days without walking into that theater that day. my year would've been so empty, lonely and sad without you all, so thank you all from the bottom of my cold lil heart - you all showed up in my life when i needed u the most

(something weird about this 1D -> Elvis/Aus pipeline is that when i went back to see the day i saw the movie the first time it was on July 23, aka the 1D anniversary 👀 lil weird)

i initially made this blog solely for my fanfic but i'm glad i branched out - though i still wanted to take the time to anyone who's interacted w my writings, even if it was just help with plot or moodboards. my heart skips a beat when my writing is a point of conversation.

thank you to the beauties who grace my dash everyday, even if we don't talk often 💖

@feverkitten @p-oolshark @pearlparty @avengen @presleys @mrsniallhoran505 @missmaywemeetagain @marooosa @eliseinmemphis @elvisabutler @lovininapinkcadillac @aconflagrationofmyown @austinsmutler @heartbrake-hotel @dre6ming @flwrs4aust @rosaminny @presleysdarling @woundmetender @rainydayz101 @ggwritesstuff @golden-kiwis @lattedreamer @weak-aesthetic @bcofl0ve

and of course to my almost daily babes, my days would be so empty without you all and my heart would be so deflated - i never thought i'd end up with a group like this

@succsessions @lllsaslll @cryingabtab @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @nora-nexus-34 @lavenderelvis @luluthesandgoose @powerofelvis @bisexualwvtson @samfangirls @lindszeppelin @infatuatedharleys @ab4eva @sagesolsticewrites @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @jelliedonut @steph-speaks @star-shard @foreverdolly @purejasmine @oh-my-front-door

and how could i ever forget the two that really roped me in @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit - even though it was through war, violence & lawsuits (lol) that our love was carved from, it is the most magical. i am so honored and so grateful to call you friends

one of my biggest goals for 2022 was to make new friends - ones who are reliable, kind, like-minded, supportive, generous, loving - because i was feeling so lonely & unloved, and to my surprise this goal was met ABUNDANTLY by you all, i really can not stress how much you all mean to me

extra special shout out to @bisexualwvtson for setting up the christmas card exchange, it was probably my favorite part of this holiday season - those cards made my whole christmas and i will cherish them forever

i love you all so much its DISGUSTING how much i love you - i don’t know how i would’ve made it through this year without you all - and it makes me so fucking sad when i think about all the memories that wouldn’t have happened without austin/elvis/you guys - it is because of you all that i have some of the best and happiest memories of this year, thank you ❤️

i hope that we are together for a long long time - i know that i am, i’m here for the long haul 💗 pls be in the nursing home with me breaking hips to Elvis songs

love, mel xx

(I APOLOGIZE IF IVE MISSED ANYONE I TRIED MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MY BRAIN IS TRASH SO IM SO SORRY PLS DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MISSED U I LOVE U)

Something I wrote from The Learnerer's perspective. Liam is @melodythebunny 's oc.

Keen didn't take the news well. Valorie was back. Again. He knew what to expect at this point. Not too long after, she would leave. Again.

The thought infuriated him. He hated her. There were many reasons why but the biggest and most frustrating one was the way she treated Liam.

Why? Why did she keep coming back just to leave again? The fact that she kept coming back made him think maybe she did care about him. Yet, if she really did care about him she wouldn't keep leaving him like this.

Part of him wished one day she would leave and never return. While that would devastate Liam, it would be for the best.

Keen was abandoned as a child. He turned out fine, right? He didn't need parents. He didn't need anyone. That's what he always told himself. It took him a long time to realize that was wrong. He knew the years of solitude had affected him greatly.

But Keen's parents didn't choose to abandon him from a young age, they died. So why would she choose to abandon Liam?

Maybe if she left for good, Liam would finally get the hint and stop looking up to her.

Keen never got that either, why did Liam still look up to her? Why did he care about making her proud when she was never around?

It wasn't fair. What did she ever do for Liam except make him upset? Keen has been caring for him everyday for years and yet all he is to Liam is some weirdo that married his Dad.

To Keen, Liam is his son just as much as Cordette is his daughter. Yet, no matter what he does he'll always be the "step-parent" to Liam.

Keen doesn't want Liam to feel abandoned like he did. Liam deserves to feel loved, to feel included. So he has always tried to include Liam, show affection in every way he knows how.

The thing is, Keen has never been good with emotions. He's not good at deciphering how someone is feeling and he never knows how someone will react to what he's saying so it can be difficult for him to interact with Liam at times. It doesn't help that the only way Keen knows how to show affection is physically but Liam doesn't seem to like that.

But at least he tries! Valorie doesn't even try!

The fact is, Liam will never be enough for Valorie and Keen will never be enough for Liam.

When and where did u first discover wordgirl and your love for it?

I’m not totally sure! I grew up watching wordgirl on tv right after maya and miguel (the show) so I’m very sure I watched the shorts when I was like 6-7 years old 😅😅 (I have very vivid memories of thinking “ugh I wanna watch wordgirl now, I’m done with maya and miguel!!!” LOL sorry m&m fans)

I always thought the show was so silly and treated me with so much respect as an audience member. I didn’t know what that feeling was as a kid but I always preferred to watch wordgirl over Nickelodeon or CN bc I felt like my brain was rotting with those shows akdhskfhsldj

I also really LOVED dtb to the point one of my friends literally brought a huge block of cheese to school to give it to me for my birthday ahahaha I’ve loved that weird guy longer than I haven’t :o can u believe it omg

Early last year i yoinked Amazo out of 2006 like a street cat entering a lavish mansion and now he’s my special lil guy xD I have two Amazo guy dollies I made and I keep one in my bag 🥺💕

So it’s been like an ongoing thing where I find more ways to love the show as it changed and I changed :D

🐸 🍪 🦋 📷

🐸 oh dear, uhhh… lemme ask juno one sec

This is what she says. Idfk. Shes not wrong though. My aesthetic could probably be called brooding vampire + generally a mess

🍪 ooh.. maybe the triple chocolate?? Like, chocolate base + chocolate chips + white chocolate chips

🦋 sleepy, scholarly*, concerning**

📷 this lovely 1899 fanart (not mine, signed in bottom left corner)

*this is slightly theoretical because i am currently exhausted and have several attention problems but hopefully when they are fixed it will be more practically accurate

**i half convinced this person at my school i was a vampire and also apparently people here think i am unsettling before they get to know me and also juno thinks i am decomposing

Hi! I have a writing question, if that’s okay? Just curious about your process, like do you plan before you write? How do you take prompts and turn them into such compelling and believable stories?

Hello hello! Yes please, idm questions about my writing process!

I generally have a vague plan before I write but its not necessarily a concrete dot point sort of situation. It's more conceptual. I generally start by asking myself a bunch of questions about the world and situation. I'll use my most recent Faramir fic (Of the Earth) as an example.

The request has a few key points: Faramir is in Ithilien. Reader is (for some reason) in Ithilien. Ithilien is dangerous. Faramir is initially angry, but then not. It's then a matter of why? and how? and where?

Like: Why is Faramir in Ithilien when its still dangerous? From the lore we know he was tasked with clearing the region up. So that's a compelling reason why he would be there. This means that it's post-war, but not so far post that Emyn Arnen is established > Unlikely that I will set the story in Emyn Arnen. Then where? Henneth Annûn seems like a good candidate as it seems logical he would use it as a sort of outpost post-war while he clears the region.

Why is the reader in Ithilien? The reader perspective is normally a bit harder. I think to make a story more believable/immersive we need to think about the wider connections to the reader. Why would anyone go to Ithilien when it's dangerous? There must be a damn good reason. The idea of a forager came to me because it gives a good reason (can't let someone die without medicine) AND ties into WHY Faramir would be more forgiving (foolhardy task in the service of another)

It is then a matter of fleshing these concepts out with logical world components. E.g. If someone is a forager for the Houses of Healing, would make sense for there to be a crew/group of them. Makes sense post-war that the brothers would be receiving proposals. etc.

Sometimes its a matter of necessity too. I needed a horse for the reader to get back to the city FAST. Which then begs the question, why didn't the reader have a horse before? Because we are post-war and resources are scarce and foragers are low on the list. I needed tangible fuel for the city rumours. What then? Wax seals/medallions/anything that is quite distinctly Faramir is necessary and it would make sense that Ithilien would have its own colours/coat of arms/symbol. And then you tie it into the story.

I find that having a strong concept as a foundation makes writing a bit easier, because then the plot can change/be fluid, but will remain somewhat cohesive if the concept underlying it is solid.

Idek if this is helpful or interesting or whatever, but thank you for your question! It was fun thinking about how I write when usually I don't think too much of it! ❤️

soup

🗞 — breaking news!!!!!! OKOKOK ,,,,, brothers best friend!steve

cw - bbf!steve, slight suggestiveness, not beta read 😵‍💫

at first it would be just a small unrequited crush, occasionally sneaking glances from afar at the golden boy of hawkins high between classes. you didn’t think much of it because everyone and their mom liked steve harrington. and why wouldn’t they? he was perfect — perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect personality — the whole package.

you push your thoughts about steve to the back of your head until one day, your brother invites him to your house and you see him. in the flesh, standing in your living room, running his hands through his stupidly fluffy locks. you think it’s just a one time thing, but eventually, steve is at your house every single day, without fail. 

everyone thinks it’s just because him and your brother are really close, and they are. but even though he’d never admit it, he often comes by just to see you. not your brother, but you. steve can’t believe he hasn’t noticed you before, honestly. 

your little puppy crush comes back, little by little, until you’re just completely infatuated with him. it’s unfair, really. you’d think that getting closer with him would show you he’s not really all that but you can’t help but notice little things about him.

how good he is with kids, how he always takes time out of his day to help people (even if he grumbles about it to the ends of the earth), how he tries to act tough but fails miserably, and most of all, how hard he makes you laugh. 

as for steve, he finds himself looking forward to talking to you, because you’re so... you. passionate and vibrant and bubbly and full of life. he likes it when he makes you smile the best. your eyes light up like little stars and he can’t help but stare at you in awe. but you’re just friends. at least that’s what he tells himself. 

the first time he kisses u is in fact one of these times he’s staring at your smile. you look up at him, laughing because he’s just so fucking stupid, and your heart almost stops beating because steve harrington is unabashedly staring at your lips.

you both take a second to consider the weight between you two, before he softly presses his lips to yours. and the sound you make, god. it takes all of his self-restraint to not drag you up to your room that second.

when you guys finally do start dating it has to be in secret from ur brother because you know he would absolutely lose his shit if he found out

so it’s just lingering touches and stolen glances when you guys are all hanging out together

sometimes your brother feels like a fucking third wheel because he has to sit there while you guys are staring all moony-eyed at each other. he has to tell steve multiple times to stop flirting with his little sister

but he just can’t help himself, can he? this man is WHIPPED for you

also modern!au where steve and ur brother are playing video games n he turns around and sees u all dressed up and his jaw just drops. totally forgets about the game even tho everyone’s yelling at him to come back and he runs up to kiss u because u look so so pretty :(

Saw your reblog about not ignoring canon and not adhering to it, and I wanted to ask; how do you feel when canon conflicts with your headcanons? For me it makes it hard to stick to them if the source says it's wrong :/

Hello there, Anon~

I totally understand how that can steal the thunder from writing/drawing/headcanonning. I am sorry you felt like that, love <3

For me, it doesn’t really matter if the source manga/show or whatever can “back me up” on my opinions or not. I am more inclined to just roll forward with my headcanons regardless. Like, making Griffith bi in my writing and art is most entirely because I am bi. So I enjoy making him bi, too. I am not overly concerned if I can fit it into canon. Only because I am not the one writing the canon, and to me, it is just a fun little hc that makes me feel validated. Of course, I reference canon for other things, like what kind of armor they’re wearing and things of that sort. But, if someone wanted to hc that they wore completely different armor, more power to them.

How one interacts with fiction should be up to the individual, and fandom should be enjoyable. So if you have a hc, maybe it's for validation or representation, I say go for it even if the source “says it’s wrong”. Like, who are we hurting with a gay or trans hc, really? The showrunners or mangaka are still in charge of the canon regardless, so I see no issue in having fun.

While I totally get why canon might make you discouraged if you feel your hc is improbable, I don’t think that means you are not valid in your takes. For me, at least, I enjoy the canon separately from my fan work. I don’t believe it is necessary to look to canon for the correct character to like or ship to support or anything like that. People are going to have their own reasons for why a character, or trope, or pairing emotionally moved them.

Just do what makes you feel safest and happiest, love ♡ That is the most important ^ ^ Feel free to send along your headcanons if you ever feel like it~

BTW, what did you think of The Lonely Planet??

Oh, I loved it. A sentient planet is such a cool concept to explore in terms of how it’d emote and such! A character being obsessed with Wander and being so intense about it that even he gets uncomfortable is also interesting. The planet also just had a nice voice lol. Rewatching the show it’s also cool to see that this is one of the later ones that has a reference to older ones, I think the lines about climbing the tallest mountains and whatever is taken from the song that plays when Wander is trying to train Captain Tim! And the planet were super fun like her talking about her core and the moon’s puns like “I find myself incredibly attracted to you.” Not my favorite, but such a nice episode imo :)

Need to know about the weed guy and 15-20 years later!!

Megan!!!! First of all the doctor idea for drops 👀👀👀👀 THANK YOUUUU

15-20 years later!!! This is a rambling mess?

H and L together a year? They’d been friends in high school. They met up years later and fell in love. Louis gets a job halfway across the country and it’s all adventurous skiing/snowboarding etc. and Harry feels left out and lonely. Louis pays for Harry to fly out and visit, but it’s weird. Louis has 2-3 roommates that Harry doesn’t know. They might ask him to hang out while Louis is working or something but Harry's social anxiety makes it impossible for him to say yes. He stays home alone and smokes weed and watches TV. They go out to dinner a few times and the night before Harry flies out, Louis sort of roundabout asks Harry to marry him and Harry says no. (It’s more complicated than that but to sum up lol). They're still together but Harry's basically like distant while he’s visiting and then after he leaves and Louis cheats on him (maybe not physically but emotionally? idk haven't decided). Harry thought they were ok but he wasn’t feeling certain about anything with Louis and he was afraid their lives weren’t compatible and that Louis was rushing things. Louis thought Harry was waiting to fly back home and break up with Louis over the phone a few days or weeks later. Louis thought it was over. Harry “finds out” because (Louis cheats with Zayn but it’s a text only thing. Harry finds out because Louis drunk texts/WhatsApps Niall accidentally: you busy, z? and Niall’s like no what’s up and Louis (thinking he’s talking to Zayn) sends a dick pic and Niall’s like NO RESPONSE and then he realizes it’s a text meant for Zayn so Niall sends Zayn’s contact info to Louis lol and Louis is like fuuuuuuuck and tries to play it off and Niall makes him tell Harry and they break up and it’s pretty terrible. 15 years later… they both wind up in line at the grocery store and when Harry sees Louis (after 20 years of avoiding him!) Harry has a panic attack

Weed guy! I’ve got about half a dozen ideas, some based on things I’ve tagged prompt, some not, all different lol but this is what’s in the actual Google doc (here’s hoping read more works in mobile):

The dumbest thing Harry’s ever done is actually still happening and has been going on for close to a year now. It started on a whim, and snowballed, and now he’s technically a criminal.

A criminal!

Considering marijuana isn’t legal in his state, buying and smoking already made him a criminal, but selling is a whole different offense, and one he never intended to commit.

It’s just that… Louis Tomlinson is so hot, and when Harry overheard him complaining to Niall that he couldn’t find any that weekend way back in February, Harry spoke without thinking. Louis brought out an impulsive side of him, and Harry opened his mouth, and offered to get him weed.

Now it’s December, and Harry’s still buying two quarters every time, telling Nate, the guy he gets it from, it’s for his sister because he panicked the very first time he asked for two bags, and Nate said, “Trying to sell? I can get you more, but you gotta meet up with the guy I buy from.”

Marshal’s papaw is dying, and the veil is spiderweb thin for him right now. he’s been having full-blown conversations with his parents and siblings who have long passed, and Marshal got a video of him looking up and around the ceiling of his living room, where his lil hospice bed is, saying, “it’s beautiful. it’s all so beautiful.” I don’t know what he was seeing, whether it was heaven or the veil or something in-between, but I fully believe he’s seeing something we can’t.

this is honestly the most beautiful death experience I’ve had. when my papaw died, he was so sick and frail that he could no longer speak. he didn’t get to go home from the hospital, and he wasn’t really With Us in the mental sense anymore. he did perk up when my mom (his daughter-in-law) walked in the room, though. he passed not long after she went and visited, like he was waiting for her. Marshal’s papaw goes in and out of knowing what’s going on, but perhaps the most beautiful thing that’s happened is that he’s seeing Marshal as he truly is—not as the granddaughter he once knew. he’s referred to Marshal as “Mark’s son” and hasn’t deadnamed him once, both of which are extremely abnormal. I told Marshal that I suspected that’s what was happening, that he’s seeing Marshal’s true self. it’s been so wonderful to witness.

Marshal’s papaw, who is a church of god preacher, mind you, has also been talking about his past-lives and reincarnation. that’s been extremely interesting to hear about bc it basically goes against everything I was ever taught in my strict religious upbringing. he’s excited for his next life, but something is holding him here, not allowing him to leave yet. I think it’s his love for his wife. I think he’s not ready to leave his soulmate just yet. he’s a mountain man, and I mean that in the very literal sense; the whole family lives in a holler of a mountain where they have always lived for generations. he had premonition dreams, and Marshal does too from time to time. it’s fascinating. I’ve always said the Smokies are magick, but actually witnessing it is something else altogether. he was born on that mountain and now he’s going to die on it too. that’s a powerful thing.

being with my papaw while he died and holding his hand during the process had such a profound impact on me. I was already moderately fascinated by death, but that experience and the feeling of transcending some barrier cracked open something inside of me. I would love to find a way to be more involved with the process with others to help them cope and see the beauty of it all. I’d love to join a threshold choir—which is a choir that sings to people as they die—but there aren’t any in my area. maybe I’ll start one. maybe I’ll become a death doula. I just feel this calling; I don’t know what else to call it.

I’ve also been feeling this sort of awareness (???) recently. like the other day, I said a prayer to the gods and the moon for Marshal’s papaw to have a peaceful and painless journey, and as I was saying it out loud, I got wave after wave after wave of prickly chills on the back of my neck and all over my body, like someone really was receiving it and letting me know they had. I said the prayer 4 times because I felt like I needed to, and the feeling got stronger each time. I also have felt it in the cemeteries we’ve visited recently, like people are reaching out to me—something is reaching out to me. the awareness mostly lives on the back of my neck, but it sometimes sweeps through my whole body, causing me to lose my breath for a second. I feel it in my chest when that happens, like hum. I don’t know what to do with that or where to go with it or what that means, but it feels significant.

Fellow Neurodiverse peeps/ peeps who suspect they may be neurodiverse!

what is something that you did not realize was a sign of neurodiversity until you actually learned about neurodiversity?

since i have actually learned/found out about neurodiversity..well being a thing! i have noticed that there were actually a lot of signs pointing towards me being neurodiverse from quite a young age, and me and my mom recently looked at the CDC's symptom criteria for both autism and adhd and realised i practically hit every criteria for innatentive type adhd, and some of the symptoms for autism when i was younger as well (our suspicion is that i masked it sort of) and both me, my mom and my grandma are highly sensitive which also turned out to be under the umbrella of neurodiversity (i did not know this until like the beginning of this year which is kind of how i like learned about neurodiversity) and i just wanted to know if anyone else out there, looking back had any signals/signs that they did not realise were signs!

HI MY BELOVED FAVOURITE TSWIFT LOVER, HOW WAS MIDNIGHTS? THOUGHTS? TOP TRACKS? MUAH !!

helloooo beloved okay here’s what i have to say:

it was a bit of a grower for me but honestly … complete and utter slay. the 3am bonus tracks absolutely make it for me, especially instant classic would’ve could’ve should’ve, which i’ve had on repeat all afternoon !!

other favourites: snow on the beach, question…? and sweet nothing were instant favourites for me… lavender haze & maroon & karma & you’re on your own kid took me like three listens to be Brilliant and Showstopping, and karma, bejewelled and antihero i wasn’t sure of on first listen but now LOVE. so there’s that <3

this isn’t definite at all because i still don’t feel like i know all of them well enough yet, but it honestly completely met my expectations !! i don’t like to pit bad bitches against each other so i don’t really have a ranking of taylor’s albums, but i’d say right now it’s solidly middle of the pack for me – i still probably like maybe four or five others more but i like it a lot !!!

do you have any thoughts ?? <3