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starry622 · 7 months

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a sheep and a border collie go on a date and the sheep says "we need to talk. i think youve been much too controlling lately" the dog, shocked at this, says, "you think im what?" "you herd me." the sheep replies

#ba dum tss #sorry im half asleep

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whumpshaped · 2 years

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Sorry if this has already been answered somewhere, but El's mention of their missing fingers had me wondering if you had an exact point in mind where the AU branches off from the original story?

yes! one year into their captivity, after their fingers got taken but before their eye was messed up!

#after that seth didnt need to do those things on a human that wouldnt heal #he could just use kane :)#no perme damage...#infinite research...#*perma #sorry im half asleep #asks

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dictatortirah · 2 months

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He knows what's wrong

He knows his actions are causing him to deform, although he has no plans in completely stopping. But he's not ready to face it when it really takes ahold of him.

Every cartoon knows that once you've reached the limit, there's no going back. And you will lose every bit of the person you were before.

Good thing he's stuck 24/7 with a weird annoying kid with rainbows inside him. I guess he does have a use

#art #cartoon #toon #bendy #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #shipahoy dudley #bendy au #toon tied terror au #comic #im so cringeeee #sorry if art looks wonky #i did this while half asleep

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ajaxless · 12 days

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Helping Beelzebub put on black paint before his Fangol game. He saw somewhere online that humans wear it during their football games, which sounds rather similar to Fangol and wanted to try it.

He has you cup his face while you rub the pen across his upper cheeks and the bridge of his nose while he looks at you as if you were the only thing that mattered. Maybe sneaks a few kisses in between you using your fingers to spread the paint around.

You paint little hearts on his cheeks with your thumbs, leaving cute 'lil finger prints on him and he shows it off like a trophy. Beelzebub has that dopey lopsided grin he gets when spending time with his family or before chowing down on one of his favorite meals plastered on his face when he wins the game. Proudly runs over to the bleachers and smooches you again just for the hell of it. Beelzebub ends up nuzzling his nose against yours and covers you in the same paint you put on him before his game.

Beel flushes a deep red when you suggest washing it off together in the locker room when his teammates leave

(NSFW UNDER THE CUT)

Poor thing is torn between going out and getting burgers with Belphie and you or simply pressing you onto your knees and rutting into you from behind as you lean against a bench for support.

You get to watch that paint streak down his face from the shower head as he has your back against the wall and your thigh in his hands, grinding his cock against you. Water doesn't exactly make the best lube, but he doesn't mind. As soon as he gets home from dinner with you and Belphie, there will be a round three in your bedroom.

#its incredibly late and im half asleep sorry if this is ass #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub obey me #obey me smut #i also havent written smut in a while #i think its almost been a year now actually

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tojosuggestionbox · 2 months

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The Chairman will gladly reschedule your meeting. We will reach out to you via email shortly.

#dojima daigo #mine yoshitaka #half asleep defaulting to his edge era behavior #sorry kashiwagi;;; im sick... cough cough #Daigo rolling over and proceeding to forget about any of that

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cheolhub · 1 year

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soobin size kink??!?!???? OMG PANIC ATTACK

is this a request or are we talking abt it

i won’t say too much … but we can perhaps talk briefly abt virgin!soobin who doesnt even realize he’s big till you’re crying and babbling under him abt how it’s too much :( he doesn’t even think to fuck you open ‘cuz he doesn’t understand the concept of prep just yet— thinks you don’t need it just ‘cuz you’ve taken dick before.

none nearly as big as his, though.

your small hands are pushing against the large expanse of his chest and he’s so confused as to what the hell you’re (incoherently, nonetheless mindlessly) talking about.

then he looks down to see his cock not even all the way inside, and yet, he feels you squeezing half of him so tight. and when you comprehensibly get out “‘s too big,” he finally notices the substantial size difference between the two of you </3 all of a sudden, he’s twitching helplessly, brain overstimulated from sensory overload— the feeling of his cock being milked by your incredibly tight cunt and the sight of you struggling and the sound of your pleading cries. before he can blink, he’s spilling his load inside you embarrassingly quick groaning and moaning out apologies for not lasting long :(

but he just keeps going— fucking you open, making you cry, filling you up load after load till you physically can’t take it just to make up for finishing so quick. doesn’t care how tired or spent he is, he just can’t get enough of seeing you full of his fat cock <333333

#[💌: nonnie]#IF THIS WAS A REQ IM SORRY #yeah im #im half asleep responding to this rn #virgin soob is another concept i adore #soobin smut

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lestatslestits · 16 days

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Sorry but JK Rowling loudly announcing to whoever will listen that she is winning her shower arguments with imaginary versions of former child actors from her shitty movies is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week

#jk rowling #harry potter #jkr #anti jkr #Like it’s not funny that she’s #An evil bitfh leading a transphobic witch hunt #but it rules ghat she’s sooooooo lame abour it #sorry im half asleep it took every ounce of brain power yo spell that post ccorrectly #we’re done spelling now

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ask-the-sagents · 4 days

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First Previous

Askbox is open!

BTW there's an updated font chart in the masterpost since the last one had duplicates 😅

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #agent 8 #agent 6 #agent 7 #marina #pearl #pearlina #agent 24 #yay for 3 am posting bc im still behind lmfao #also roxie and pearl 100% consistently get into hijinks probably #sometimes callie joins #also if theres any mistakes in this no theres not #im also like half asleep posting this rn so sorry in advance if i fucked soemthing up lmao

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babbyrat-art · 9 months

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bringing the ocverse dogs to life!!!

#my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #ocs #small artist #dog #dogs #sorry my alt text is not great atm #im half asleep and the brain fog is really really bad #PLEASE provide better alt text if you'd like/are able #babbyrat art

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wonillaa · 1 year

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texts with enhypen while they’re on tour ♡

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skellydun · 4 days

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Any job interview tips? I have one tomorrow and really want to do well

look up the star method, hit points mentioned on the job description if you can with your answers, know your resume!!!!, show up early, have at least three questions to ask them about either the position or the company. (I always ask what's your favorite part of your job or what type of person is the best fit for this role in your opinion), it's okay to ask them to rephrase the question if you don't fully understand, and if you need to buy time to think say that's a really great question and give yourself 30 seconds to think about it. job interviews go both ways so don't be afraid to ask them things.

#sorry if this is not what u meant im like laying in bed half asleep 😔#also just sound like enthusiastic about the role even if you arent ur attitude is what gets remembered as well as your responses #advice i would've given a phone screen that happened this week

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iridescentapplejuice · 10 months

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coping mechanisms?

hell no, those space pirates wouldnt know coping if it hit them in the face

#im sorry this is such a bad joke im half asleep #the mechanisms #the mechs #jonny dville

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whumpasaurus101 · 6 months

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Look at me posting this on the deadline LMFAO BUT ITS NOT LATE SO LOOK AT ME GO WOOOOO. This is for @epiclamer's and @save-the-villainous-cat's super cute ask game which was GENIUS!!! This was so so much fun thank you!!! @hufflepuffwritingstuff22 had an ask in their inbox: “Hero being brainwashed and forced to fight their friends.”

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"Please, Hero!" Sidekick's desperate voice sounded through the room. "I know this isn't you. Think of who I am! C'mon, Hero, please!!!"

Tears streamed down their face as they desperately kicked away fro the 'stranger' before them. That wasn't Hero/ Surely Hero wouldn't do this!

They whimpered as their back hit the wall, gulping hard as they watched Hero continue to stride towards them, switchblade twirling in hand.

"Oh, but Sidekick, don't you understand? This is me. All this time I have been trying to hide it,but now, bow it's too late. You've gone too far. You're a disappointment to not only me, but yourself."

Sidekick gulped as the words carved antagonizingly slow into their heart, their chest growing tight as they tried to keep their breathing level. Their eyes flickered up to Hero's, tears threatening to fall. Their voice came out as a weak rasp, "This is-isn't you..."

They had given up hope at this point, how were they supposed to get through to Hero???

A fist tightened in Sidekick's shirt and hauled them to their feet before they were suddenly slammed against the wall. Sidekick wheezed as they felt all the air leave their body, their eyes blowing wide.

They flinched hard as Hero raised their fist, squeezing their eyes shut as a whimper ripped from their throat but Hero's fist quickly collided with their cheek.

Blood splatted against the ground as they coughed, "He-h'ro... 'm.. pl'se..." Blood ran down from their mouth, their vision spotting. Punch after punch was delivered until Sidekick screamed, breaking into sobs as their body shook with each cry.

As Villain entered the door, Hero instantly dropped Sidekick to the floor. "Hero, to me."

Sidekick watched in horror, wheezing on the floor as Hero quickly made their way over to Villain before dropping to their knees.

Sidekick tried to swallow back bile as they slowly sat up, "Wha-what did you do?"

Villain chuckled softly, a cool smirk painting along their face as they looked at Sidekick, "Oh, this? Oh honey, what I did to Hero is exactly what I am going to do to you. Now Sidekick," They clicked their finger, "I need you to focus on my voice and my voice only."

Sidekick flinched back as Villain's hand rested against their head, a sudden presence filling their head as they lost full control. And suddenly it kicked in. Their thoughts weren't theirs. And as they approached Hero, a clenched fist either side, they had to watch as someone forced them to fight their mentor. Fight the last person who had fate in them. How would Hero ever forgive them?

#THIS WAS SO FUN RAAAAA #IM HALF ASLEEP WHILE FINISHING THE PIECE #SO SORRY ITS NOT GOOD #almost halloween WOOOOOO #whump #whumpee #whump drabble #whumper #whumpblr #whump community #whump writing #hero whumper #villain whumper #sidekick whumpee #sidekick whumper #mind control #magic whump #surrenderanask #lee wrote something :o

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house-of-daena · 7 months

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rattling the bars of my cage with the idea of zandik finding a khaenri'an reader who piloted one of those giant fucking ruin guards mechs. sure, we could think about the fluff of zandik teaching us teyvat’s language, we could think about his giddiness at being taught how to read your language and be able to understand you and your people’s technology better and furthering his research— but that isn’t sexy or gonna turn him on.

start bending him over and claiming him on every surface possible, your hand being the only thing between his pretty cock and staining the wall with his creamy load. dirty talk him in your native language just so he feels more intimate, feel him tighten around you as he tries to respond only to be cut off with his own whines when you thrust so deep inside of him. let him admire the stars in your eyes, cupping your face when you fuck him on his back for once.

let him sneak him into his dorm just so you can fuck him in there, too, because no one will question zandik about anything, even smuggling in a whole nother person. don’t be patient enough to get to the bed: just have him shove the books off his desk when you bend him over it, let him bite your neck incessantly and wrap his pale legs around your waist when you take him against the door and make it creak with the force of your thrusts. watch how he trembles as he tries to study while cockwarming you, your cock invading his every thought before he gives up and starts riding you— make him go dumb and be nothing more than your cocksleeve.

oh my god you are so right htough.. he'd be such a slut for a khaenri'an reader... it sends shivers down his spine whenever u speak to him in ur native language in a low, sultry tone... calling him sweet petnames from your language that makes him so red in the face... but also calling him a pathetic little whore into his ear, with your accent and oooo he'd be gripping onto you and trembling... admiring the way the stars in your eyes shines brightly in the dark while you fuck him dumb...

fuckin him with devices he has never seen before and yet to study with you,, making him reach new heights of pleasure with a device you made just for him! using your magic on his body, make him grow addicted everyyything about you, not just the knowledge you can give him...

yaaa zandik would go CRAZY 💞💞

#» asmo talks about wife #» mutuals: pulpbeing #SORRY half baked im like half asleep even though it's fucking 10 am #buyt grrghrghr zandik is so bbg....#khaenri'an bf where he gets fucked so hard in exchange for knowledge about khaenri'a hehe

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phantomposting · 1 year

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Time for another soupy 4am half asleep romps cause this idea is keeping me awake. Sorry in advance for grammatical and spelling errors.

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So I've been stuck hyperfixated on twin aus lately cause I'm an absolute sucker for supportive found family stuff. However I've begun to run out of ideas to rotate in my brain and timeline out. This one popped in my head yesterday tho and it's been stuck in my noggin ever since.

Instead of just one twin going missing from the league on a mission both end up lost. Maybe the league assumes Damian and Danyal died and the bodies simply couldn't be recovered. Either way they stick together both ending up with the Fenton's in aminty Park Illinois.

Damian is still his prideful headstrong self. It takes him a long time to actually bond with Jazz due to his stand offish nature. But eventually they become close. Danny has just about the same character development but he is inseparable with Damian and Damian helps him become a little more self confident.

When it's time for the accident to occur both twins are caught in it. Both gain ghost powers and walk the fine live between dead and alive. Danny has a protection obsession and a minor space obsession, Damian has a protection obsession in the sense he must keep his family safe and his minor obsession is animals.

Danny takes up the alias Phantom and Damian takes up Ghoul. Together they make an unstoppable undead vigilante duo many of the ghost rouges refer to as the demon twins. Damian absolute retained more of his league training than Danny so Damian has an easier time at the whole ghostly hero biz than Danny. But he's very encouraging towards Danny in the hopes up helping him and his confidence. Probably has a bit that focuses mainly on that struggle with his confidence.

Phantom still has his white hair and green eyes and ice core and Ghoul has white hair and blue eyes and a shadow core. With this shadow core he can manipulate the shadows to give him the cover of darkness or make shadowy weapons. He uses this to take a more stealthy assassin approach to his heroing.

Eventually down the line the Fenton parents fond out Damian and Danny's secret. I like to think Danny couldn't stand to keep it a secret anymore but Damian didn't deem it safe enough to open up yet. As a result Danny opens up only about himself which leads to Jack and Maddie trying to "fix" him. Damian rescues him and they go on the run.

They end up on Gotham and the bats start getting suspicious of the two meta children going around fighting crime in their city. Don't they know there's a no metas rule?

Chaos ensues and Bruce finds out that these two homeless meta twins are actually his children and he has to slowly earn these kids trust so he can help them and bring them into the family. Lots of chaos, trauma, and happy moments later and the whole batclan welcomes the two with open arms :D

#danny phantom #dp x dc #batman crossover #dp au #damian wayne #danny and damian are twins #writing prompt #not as detailed as i wanna be #sorry im so sleepy it bled into this one a bit #i hope it's still enjoyable despite the half asleepness

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cactiflowering-archived · 2 months

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tsukasa tenma layouts, rb + credit if used | self indulg. psd by @lumieron !

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