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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong'#but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

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stormy-nights-are-best · 2 months

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I was gonna make this a collection of like, the rise turtles and their fav shades of their fav colors, but then Leo didn't turn out right and I am yet to be mature about it and just try again.

Donnie's is Indigo purple, Mikey's is Soda orange, Leo's is Cornflower blue and Raph's would be Candy red I think

#rise of the tmnt headcanons #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanart #do i just tag everyone #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #aquarelle #traditional art #sorry i've only had stuff from my sketchbook lately i do not have the time to draw digital for the moment #also sorry i'm apologizing i know traditional art is just as valid and all but yk #i'm not going to elaborate #can you read that donnie's says indigo because everyone that read it went “hmmmm uh does this say indigo???”#donnie is on his way back home after buying potted plants from the hidden city btw because him liking botany is one of my fav canon facts

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hrokkall · 2 months

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draw minophus,,, plsss =*^*=

Monochrome old man yaoi sketch. For you

#Re: Inbox #Re: Anon #Ultrakill #Minophus #<- Is that their name? Sure #Ship requests was a one day thing btw. But yeah I rarely draw old men so I'll give you this one #Anyway; sorry for the radio silence lately. I'm not leaving tumblr! Just working on something I'm not ready to share here yet :]#Hrokkall sketch

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ruelpsen · 4 months

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Fuck it, I'm going to go out and say it: while I often enjoy being teased on here, a fair portion of what I receive irritates me as it's misguided at best and reeks deeply of unlearned, malicious fatphobia at its worst. Yes I want to be fatter but I'm not fat. I am a 140-lbs/63.5-kg twink despite all my efforts to gain weight. I'm not stick thin, sure, but I'm sure as hell not fat either. So why are some people insistent on calling me fat/huge/big? Are actual fat people too much for you (perhaps even in spite of you being a self-professed FA)? Is your idea of fatness grounded in equating 'not even that chubby' with 'fat' while not even being attracted to people who are actually fat? Do you solely find bloated skinny guys hot while still saying you like fat people? Or are you not attracted to fat people at all and here simply to take your fatphobia out on the people closest to your image of ideal thinness, who you'd be more openly attracted to if they lost 10-20 pounds, all while still scoffing at or ignoring the fat people at the heart of these communities?

Some of y'all really need to do better. Either own up to your love of people who are actually fat (which may entail adjusting your understanding of what fatness is), clean up your nomenclature, or don't be here. Yes unlearning biases like fatphobia takes time and effort, but your choices really are more or less that simple.

#i've seen a number of posts lately from actual fat feedees/gainers discussing how even in these circles they feel marginalized #and yeah they most certainly are #i may not be in that weight cohort myself but my own experiences further go to show that it is a real and noticeable problem #to the fat people here you are not alone and i'm sorry some people still insist on being shitty like this #your body is lovely and deserving of far better attention than the dickish/creepy shit they have to give anyway #i am open to more discussion on this if people want it btw #body politics

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biblically-accurate-dca · 10 months

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*Hands this Sun drawing to you and then scampers away like the little gremlin i am*

i just drew this in ibis paint on my phone at 4:45am.

(This is my neurodivergent way of saying HI!!!! I LOVE YOUR ACCOUNT!!!!!)

starts crying,,,,,, THANK YOUU!! ♡

#SORRY FOR ANSWERING THIS SO LATE i wanted to draw something rlly cool as a thank you #but im only capable of drawing silly doodles........ I HOPE IT STILL CONVEYS MY FEELINGS THOUGH!!#thank you so much for drawing something for me that was very nice of you TTwTT #btw 👀 fellow ibis user?!?!?#i haven't been using ibis to draw these but it's been my go to serious art program for yearssss hehe #anyway AH tags #daycare attendant #sundrop #sunnydrop #submission #<- its an ask but i'm gonna categorize it as that

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thelilylav · 4 days

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Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

#ok i'm stopping here bc i'm a little scared that tumblr is gonna crash on me soon #but u guys get the point #if anyone wants an extension of this list w more genres i would be happy to provide btw #this felt so chaotic to make but it was rlly fun to go through my spotify and actually check the artists i listen to #idk sometimes u just have to remind yourself that you do in fact have good music sometimes lol #music #kendrick lamar #tyler the creator #kali uchis #samara joy #music recs #was contractually obligated to make this after seeing how white some ppl's playlists r apparently #and like guys... you've got no excuse if my white ass can find time to appreciate music #plus these artists r all amazing on their own anyway so check them out regardless #also i'm so sorry to my moots for not shutting up abt music lately #apparently i had a lot of feelings abt it that i have not been getting of my chest so #i'll be back to posting the norm soon (although what even is the norm for me lol)

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teddybeartoji · 15 days

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let me tell u this idea i have of going to the club with bestie!roomie!toji

you're all comfy in his lap, back against his broad chest, in a private booth (thank you shiu) while the others in the group are busy drinking or on the dance floor. but you are more than content with just staying with toji. the way his hand strokes up and down your back, occasionally, going over your hip and playfully squeezing your ass as he feigns innocence !!

trying to get him back by teasing him, pouting as you tell him that you want his opinion on this new outfit you bought bc you don't know if the color fits you. and he does NOT expect to see you open a picture of you posing in the mirror in cute pink lingerie that hugs you in all the right places. “i like this one, the pink set was so pretty, but i dunno if i like it on me,” you hum

toji is losing his fucking MIND right now, his arms gripping you tighter as he lets out a heavy sigh at the view. he doesn't even get a chance to say anything before you're swiping to the left and you grow a little shy, giving a fake little 'woops'

instead of a picture, it’s a fucking video. a video of you fucking yourself with a toy playing on the screen angled so only he could see!! the volume is low so only you both can hear it and toji can HEAR the wet gushing of your pussy, creaming around the toy as you moaned and begged oh so cutely. “aww...toji, I couldn’t even get the toy all the way in,” you whine. “only got it halfway…”

its taking everything in him not to just fuck you right now, to show you he'd make sure you'd be able to get cock in you all the way. "kook at my best girl, so fuckin' desperate and needy," he hums, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watches the video. "tsk, tsk, tsk...poor think, y'should be filled up properly, hm? stretched on my cock til you're taking all of it...i'd make sure ya cream for real, baby doll."

“i wanted t’ send this to you, wanted you t’ see it and tell you t’ come help me get it in me,” you pouted, leaning into him. "plus, when it feels too good i can't help but run away from it, and it makes it sooo hard t' cum, tojiiiii....you wouldn' let me run from it, right, big guy?"

the way you look at him over your shoulder with those pretty eyes that just scream mischief..."mmn, you should've. i would've come over right away. make sure we get some cock into ya like y'need it. stretch you out niiiiice and good, get m'cock into that tight, pretty pussy of yours...like the good best friend i am," he purrs, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

yeah im insane !!!!

LUNARRRR WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU I WANT YOU SO BAD WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY EYES POPPED OUT OF MY HEAD I MEAN THAT I HAD TO FUCKING LOOK FOR THEM IN THE DARK BEFORE I COULD DO ANYTHING ELSE RAAAAHHHHHHH

THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT LUNAR I NEED TO MAKEOUT WITH YOU ASAP. FIRST OF ALL THE LINGERIE??????????????????? GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD IT'S SOOFUCKING PRETTY TOJI IS A STRONG STRONG MAN FOR NOT FOLDING IMMEDIATELY BC WTF. OMFG AND I LOOOOOVE THE TOUCHING FUCK IT'S SO HOT LIKE YEAH I WANNA SIT ON HIS LAP AND I WANT HIM TO SQUEEZE MY ASSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHSTOP THIS MADNESS RIGHT NOW

WHEN HE RESTS HIS HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER????????????????????????????????????????? I DIED. I DIED I DIED I DIED. THE CLOSENESS IS DRIVING ME INSANE ACTUALLY LUNAR I REALLY DO NEED TO BITE YOU OR SOMETHING YOU'RE SO SEXY AND THEN A KISS ON THE CHEEEEEEK????????? GODDD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIERRRRR I WANT TO SUCK HIM RIGHT THEREEEEEEEE BALLS AND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW HE'S GETTING BRICKED BC YOU CAN JUST FEEL IT POKING AT YOU FROM BEHIND FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKMMM

he calls the cab bc he wants to help his bestie out:(((( but then he's getting soooooooo handsy in the cab already bc how could he not:((( the video keeps replaying in his head and you just keep staring at him with these mischievous eyes and he kinda just wants to eat you yk

his fingers keep kneading your thighs as you play with the hair on his nape andmmmmmmmmmmmmmm he's so hard it fucking hurtss. and when you're finally at your place he doesn't even let you properly open the fucking door bc he just needs his lips on you whewww he's such a good friend:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( he's gonna teach you how to take it and he's not gonna let you run away:((((((((((((((((((((he's so perfect lunar i need him so fucking bad i just drooled on my shirt what the actual fuck

#WAHH I'M SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY MY BELOVED #I JUST HAD TO RUB ONE OUT BEFORE YK #AND BY ONE I MEAN A HUNDRED #LUNAR YOU'RE LITERALLY SOOOOOO SEXY I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING BAD HOLY FUCKING SHIT #THIS WAS THE BEST LITTLE TREAT I COULD'VE EVER ASKED FOR #FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKMEEEEEEE #lunar <3 #friends!!#toji #toji smut #mickey is daydreaming #bsf!toji #roomie!toji #(he jerks off every night to you btw)#(he's such a fucking perv)#(and i'm so wet i think i'm gonna pass out)#toji fushiguro #jjk toji

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the--firevenus · 2 months

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Aang, to someone being mean to him: it's okay, I forgive you

Zuko and Katara: Aang maybe forgive you but I don't

#venus rambling #Sorry had a very zutaraang brainrot lately #I FINALLY FOUND THEIR SHIP NAME BTW I'M SO LATE BUT WHATEVER #Zutaraang #Both zuko and katara is aang body guards even tho the avatar don't need one and y'all cannot change my mind #THE DYNAMIC AND THEIR PARALLEL IS KILLING ME #Anyways.#atla #aang #zuko #katara #incorrect quotes #Maybe idk I made it up based of meme

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bunni-art · 1 year

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a guaranteed way to cheer brain up :3

so they're airing season 3 right after valentines day :0

which couldn't possibly mean anything right

#btw i'm HSADFKJASHDLKFJASHDKFJASHDKFJASHDLKJFH #i'm a bit late to posting valentines but its because i wasn't supposed to have time to draw this :)#sorry other projects and assignments. brinky takes priority #pinky and the brain #brinky #bunni art tag #animaniacs #animaniacs season 3 #valentines #valentines day

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iamamythologicalcreature · 5 months

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COC Day 17: Fluff

"It's so...fluffy..."

For this @carryon-countdown prompt I wanted to draw Big Brother Baz because I adore him being a big brother. Fluffy just turned to fluffy dress in my head soon after that.

I can imagine Baz helping Mordelia find the right gown for her Leavers Ball, someday. Before they can try the dresses she actually likes they first have to try out the one Daphne picked out.

I imagine it goes something like this:

Baz: You look beautiful, Delia. *apologetically*

Mordelia: I look like a sherbert dessert or something.

Baz: Also true.

Mordelia: It's so... fluffy. How am I supposed to move in this?

Baz: Elegantly?

Mordelia: *gives him an unimpressed look*

Baz: .... I'll tell Daphne it didn't fit. Shall we continue shopping?

(Dialogue not set in stone; feel free to improve on it.)

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otterlis · 1 year

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behold: my renga debut

#this came to be in a totally not cursed way #i promise :))#VERY happy with how they turned out for a first time. and for a quick sketch!!#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #langa #reki #renga #reki x langa #langa x reki #sk8 fanart #ellis art #:DD #sorry for being inactive btw. i'm very lazy lately.

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aitsuheart · 3 months

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My favorite dynamic are probably friends who are dating because they get to be both

The best of both worlds, a cute friendship dynamic and a cute romantic relationship

And soriku

Yeah they're that.

They are best friends, gonna say it louder for the people in the back who say "oh no a gay pairing why can't they be friends"

But they're also dating

#i choose violence today #friends to lovers #aitsu heart #kingdom Hearts #romance and friendship 🤝#soriku #yeah it's them #aitsu heart thoughts #late night thoughts #it's late #okay but why is it people say that about mlm or wlw pairings but not any straight ones 🧐🧐#double standards #yeah what if I just said that about sora and kairi #those toxic shippers will come for me #it's a good thing I'm just an anonymous private account on Twitter #I don't hate soksi btw it's cool and has it's cute moments I just like soriku better and it has more moments for me #Soriku just my personal favorite #I'd say why can't they be friends about Riku and Naminé unless someone is referring to Repliku #now that's the ship I don't really like #I'm sorry if you do #but it's not for me #it bothers me I don't know why #probably because I can't see Riku anything but gay #rambles #aitsu heart rambles

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makabray · 3 months

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some postal dude gender headcanons since someone was interested hehe (i'm mostly talking about p2 here, but these could apply to any of the dudes probably)

trans postal dude is really fascinating to me cause i think he'd be quite a different character from a lot of modern trans rep. like, dude is a (relatively) older guy from from rural arizona, who was likely raised in a fairly conservative and religious household, so i think it's safe to assume that he wouldn't have access to much of the resources or terminology that we have now. growing up, he might've known a little about queer people from word of mouth and the few magazine articles he could find on the topic, but for the most part it was a lot of figuring things out on his own.

his adolescent years were really messy and all over the place, he definitely did a lot of experimentation during that time. a lot of sneaking out of his parent's house after dark to hang out in the back alleys with the other weirdos like him. during this time he was still closeted and figuring things, i don't think he really started presenting and identifying as a guy until his mid 20s when he moved away from his parents, and even then he had to go stealth. though keep in mind that's he's a broke bastard living in the middle of nowhere, so he had to DIY a lot of shit.

surgery of any kind is not an option, so that meant he had to work with what little he had. fortunately for him, he's able to pass fairly well with a sports bra, some rolled up socks, and baggy clothes. it's why he almost never takes off that huge trench coat he's always wearing, aside from it just generally being a source of comfort and pride for him. he also started taking hormones when he moved away from his parents, which i like to think uncle dave helped him acquire (albeit through dubiously legal means).

so maybe dude wouldn't make for "good" trans rep, but he's alive and himself against all odds and that's what i love about this headcanon

for dude, transitioning has its ups and downs. on one hand it's incredibly liberating to dress and act and be the way you've always wanted to, but on the other hand it can be quite lonely and difficult too. dude already has to constantly keep his guard up, constantly be vigilant of the people around him and how he's being perceived, but being one of the few queer people in a small town compounds that even further. plus i imagine that he probably has a lot of complicated feelings about his gender and sexuality that he doesn't really know what to do with on account of being really repressed and all that.

#postal #maka mumbles #i have more thoughts but this is getting really long so i'm gonna end it here #i have many hcs but this is one of my favs #it brings me a great deal of comfort as a queer person who spent a large portion of their life in the conservative south #i also have some art related to this hc i wanna clean up and post sometime... maybe Soon #SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE BTW its late and my brain is kinda scrambled #anyways. yea. i'll stop rambling now

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