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austajunk · 1 year

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💍 with mikan and someone? or chiaki and someone…

Here’s a little fun idea… mostly cos I just love the concept of Mikan finding her little happy hellish Nurse ending.

Mikan couldn’t stop raising her hand to the heavens, letting the warm sunlight reflect brilliantly off her new ring. She was so lucky… so loved to receive this beautiful ring with a wink from Junko.

“Go have fun~,” said the tag on the gold band.

Mikan had quickly read the instructions out loud to make sure what she saw was accurate word by word, but it still felt so very surreal! A ring that could hypnotize whoever bent down to kiss it while it was on her finger? It was like a dream come true.

The nurse clutched her own heart desperately, walking the streets with the ring placed on her right hand. She wanted a target… but that was a task all on its own. Who would actually press their lips to her filthy hands? She wanted to sniffle and cursed herself for being so useless and unsightly! People barely tolerated her presence on its own!

“Oomph!”

While lost in her thoughts, someone’s shoulder collided with Mikan’s and sent her stepping back in surprise. Immediately, she bowed twice. “I-I’m so sorrryyyyyyy!”

“Ah, Tsumiki-san,” said the student before her, putting up his hands in case he needed to steady himself. Nagito offered her a kind, understanding smile. “No, please… it was my fault.” He bowed his head to her in turn.

“Komaeda-kun…wah… I’m so clumsy…” Mikan said, quickly rattling off her usual spiel to gain a little more time with her classmates.

“N-No, really… it’s fine…” As always, Nagito was patient. He would simply shake his head whenever Mikan insisted it was her fault.

As Nagito inquired about her shoulder, Mikan’s thoughts veered off toward the dark craving in her heart to test her lover’s ring out. Nagito was certainly an option, wasn’t he? Oh yes…polite…kind… but weird and unsettling. No one would want to listen to him if this went poorly.

Without a word, Mikan pressed the clear stone of the ring to Nagito’s small lips, forcing him to kiss her hand. “Ehehe! Sorry! You have a little something on your lip!”

One second passed. Then two. Mikan let her hand slowly drift back to her side. It was like Nagito was frozen in space. His gaze went listless and lost focus. Mikan snapped her fingers before him, but he merely glanced up at her slowly.

“…”

Mikan swallowed. It was now or never. What did she desire from someone like Nagito from the bottom of her heart? She glanced at those frail features, the dark lines under his eyes, at the troubling bruise just barely visible on his chest just beneath his uniform. Her heart swelled.

This was what she was meant for.

“What are you doing out in this c-cold weather, Komaeda-kun? You need to be inside!” She wrapped her arm lightly around his and helped him keep up with her. Nagito nodded, some warmth returning to his gaze.

“You’ve been my precious patient for so long, Komaeda-kun… please don’t scare me like that again…”

“Yes… I won’t… I promise.” That raspy, but pleasant voice of Nagito’s filled Mikan’s heart. His trembling fingers gripped her hand like he was a lot child. A sense of power and pride surged through the nurse as a little smile formed to her lips…

—

What was once a empty hospital floor was now filled with her patients. Sonia had drifted out of bed early, so Mikan was gently walking her back before checking her temperature. She had quite the insatiable fever and needed to get back into bed immediately.

Worse even, Hiyoko kept trying to sneak candies and dessert from her hospital meals. Mikan had to force her to give them up, then stroked her long hair back and whispered to her soothing things as she wailed about it.

Her entire class were either strung out on their beds or wandering about like lost lambs. It was hard work, but Mikan had them right where she had always wanted them. Everyone she loved was going to stay with her forever and love her in turn.

All this hard work was truly worth it! Even if she was on call for the rest of her life, the Nurse knew that she was the luckiest and most appreciated woman in the hospital.

And it would always be that way. With this ring in hand, she would make sure of it.

#danganronpa #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #mikan tsumiki #nagito komaeda #komamiki #added in the Komamiki cos those shippers deserve more #my fics #my ficlets #writing prompts #thanks for the ask!#dark fantasy

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yanderefairyangel · 10 months

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I think it's because of Veyle saying she won't forget Zephia and thanking her or Alear mentioning how Zephia sacrificed herself people believe she is being excused

Wait... wah ? What is this ?!

I mean, we never saw her acting kind to Veyle but once, and while we knew she was pretending, Veyle did not !! She though she was being genuine !! Heck, it's no different then Nino still having feeling for Sonia despite how Sonia treate her... but Veyle clearly can't forgive her nor Griss even if she isn't the kind of person able to hate someone, and her support with Gregory and Zelestia doesn't seems to downplay at all the mistreatement she was given, heck even Gregory point out how the sole sight of him made her tremble

and what is this nonsense about Alear saying that they don't say...oh no

Ok so apparently in the localized version they do say " She sacrificed her life to help us get there..."

but in the jpn version they say this :

ですが、彼女のおかげでまた前に進めます

このことを無駄にしないためにも、ソンブルを止めに行きましょう。必ず。

Which translates into

"But thanks to her [Zephia], we can move forward again"

" Let's go stop Sombron so that this doesn't go to waste" or "Let's not let this go to waste, we will stop Sombron without fail"...

and by waste, they are talking about the help that Zephia provided but Lulu never said she sacrified herself to help them.

Treehouse what have you done again ?

#fire emblem engage #fire emblem #fe engage #a faithful adaption would have been #we must not let her help be a waste and let's go stop sombron #but not Zephia sacrificed herself #because she did not no matter how you look at it #this doesn't make any sense

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venturingvietnam2024 · 1 month

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#8 Hoi Anh: the second day

I actually can’t say how nice it was to not have to ‘check and pack’ as Leo would say this morning. We have two nights in Hoi Anh, and they’re needed! For both the beautiful city and the ability to just leave your backpack sprawled as required. I woke up at 3am to the rooster outside my room, but thankfully drifted back off to sleep. We had breakfast at 9am and our electric cars arrived ready to drive to Oodles of Noodles at 10am. The Oodles of Noodles ‘Streets’ program, supports underprivileged and orphaned children, teaching them to speak English and cook to empower their lives. It was actually a beautiful introduction to our cooking class, and the trainees running it were beautiful. We learnt to make a pancake like noodle, using rice milk. You used a coconut laddle to smear the mixture over a cloth over boiling water. From here, the lid went on and you waited. Once cooked, you used the bamboo stick to edge under the rice patty and loosen it, before carefully lifting and placing on banana leaf. Once everyone had had their turn, we used a dried version of what we had made, and placed our creation onto it, before halfing and smashing together. This created a ‘Smash’ which we dipped into the sauces, it was yum! The trainees then provided a pork and shrimp Phą for us to eat. This was also great! From here, it was back to the tailors once more in old town for final fittings. I didn’t purchase anything so Sonia and I roamed the streets in search of a cafe. We found others from our group and had the best mango smoothie yet! After mango smoothies it was lantern making time! This required patience and it really bought a new perspective to me doing arts and crafts as a teacher! It took around an hour to delicately glue and cut the materials into place and wah lah! Professionals! I headed back for a quick shower before rejoining the group for a drink by the river around 5pm. The sun was setting and it was such a delightful spot to people watch! Matthijs was leaving the group tonight after sad news back home, so we then farewelled him with a family dinner. I used chop sticks for my entire meals (gold star)! A few of us wandered the town after dinner and I got a souvenirs t-shirt, attempting the haggling game with minimal success. It’s an early night from here, with an early bus to Hue tomorrow.

Written Wednesday 27th March 9.51pm

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berlinonair · 5 months

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Chris Carvel - Torn (Indie Rock)

🕑 Lesedauer: 2 min / 📷 CTTO / Chris Carvel Offizielles Erscheinungsdatum: 01.12.2023 Wir haben in die erst kürzlich erschienene Single "Torn" des australischen Künstlers und Produzenten Chris Carvel reingehört. Dabei können wir euch sagen, dass es sich absolut lohnt, seinen Gitarrensound zu entdecken. Neben sanft und gefühlvoll gesungenen Passagen sticht der Track außerdem mit seinen einfach zu hörenden Harmonien und Melodien heraus. Innerhalb der 6-minütigen Spieldauer nimmt er sein Publikum auf eine kleine musikalische Reise mit, wobei wir auch die wunderbare Mehrstimmigkeit betonen möchten. Ebenso liegt das Hauptaugenmerk auf den instrumentalen Parts, in denen die Gitarre buchstäblich zum Singen gebracht wird. Besonders markant hierbei ist neben der präzisen Spielweise selbst auch der Drive, der mit einem coolen Mix aus Wah Wah und Fuzz Distortion einhergeht. Vorwiegend prägt dieser den zweiten Part des Songs. Hört mal rein und bleibt auch mit weiteren Neuerscheinungen von Chris Carvel bei Spotify auf dem Laufenden. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3qgxz3SAwSOUbOv5S1eeXJ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriscarvelofficial Text: Sonia /discovered via Musosoup #sustainablecurator

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thegeminisage · 1 year

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i'm FINALLY at shatterback point...or, i guess, mipha's court

the MUSIC wah...it's her theme...i'm so fucking sad she wasn't even my favorite champion she was my last ranked but oh my goddddddd

🥺 it's truly beautiful........

WHERE IS THE STATUE...............................

AWWWWW it's sidon!!! hi buddy!!!!!! :D

lol he's wondering if the island are the source of the falling sludge. pal...................look around you

wow apparently he and his fiancee were childhood besties recently reunited, but despite being engaged theyve barely spoken a word since she arrived.......the girlies are having FITS i know it

OH thank goodness i found the statue...it's at the very top waaahh

she's watching over them like she used to do from vah ruta 🥺

YES i got my armor back!!!!!!! just wish i had the headpiece and pants :/

so, this lady's character profile says she's a royal zora from another domain...girl WHAT domain?? there's only one! apparently she's extremely kind like mipha......sidon's marrying his sistermother. sigh

found dorephan hiding in a secret area behind a waterfall..........he does Not look good. maybe sidon will be king after all lol

love that muzu still hates my ass. good for him

zelda UNLEASHED THE SLUDGE MONSTER ON THEM???

i knew it...the zelda everyones been seeing is evil...shes doing bad things...somebody is Faking It

crackpot theories: she forgot she was a good guy. rauru and sonia are evil. ganondorf is possessing her again. ganondorf is using his power to borrow her appearance.......

oh he's getting ready to retire bc that monster got him lol. he thinks he's off his game. ok ig

he SAID he wants to pass the title to sidon so ig thats fine?? like abolish the monarchy or whatever but from an in-universe perspective it'd be shitty if sidon didn't get it. i don't think nintendo would do that but i didn't think they'd marry him off either lol

they keep saying "sky fish" JUST SAY WINDFISH.....CMON.......FANSERVICE IS FREE

am looking for a droplet shaped rock but wasnt i JUST in one of those..........time 2 find a guide maybe. always risky lol

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers #also im fucking starving i think i have no choice but to eat :(

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toko-writing-imagines · 3 years

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SDR2 girls reacting to their s/o giving them a bouquet of flowers

The V3 girls idea was pretty well received so now I'ma do the SDR2 girls ☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*

Will do this and then the THH girls so yayay

Enjoyyyy (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡

V3 Version | THH version

【Akane Owari】

• Wah,, you got her some flowers?

• Woah,,

• Can she eat them?

• You obviously tell her that the flowers aren't edible, and aren't for eating anyways

• You just wanted to give her some flowers to show how much you love her

• Aw

• I mean she would have preferred food but she appreciate the flowers

• She's kinda sad she can't eat em tho

• You later give her a bunch of random snacks to cheer her up though

• Expect to see the flowers somewhat wildly placed in her hair the next day, proudly claiming that it's her new look as the flowers were given from her amazing s/o

【Chiaki Nanami】

• Huh?..

• Oh you got her some flowers?

• Thats real nice of you

• Oh wait..

• You actually surprised her with home crafted Minecraft flowers instead of actual flowers

• You know she can lose herself with her video games so you kinda doubt she will take care of real flowers

• Plus you also made her cute little cutouts of the Minecraft bees as well for her ^^

• She actually really loves this and is even more happy you made this all for her

• Video game date time!!

• Sometimes you'll even catch her playing with cutout Minecraft bees while her console sits somewhere in her room

【Ibuki Mioda】

• Woah you got Ibuki flowers?!?

• She loves the flowers but woah! She never expected to ever really been gifted flowers

• And she knows how to exactly how to repay you!

• Lots of playful kisses AND songs!!

• Oh boy

• You being the lovely and nice s/o you are, you (begrudgingly) accepted it

• Ibuki wrote a few songs about you in no time flat! Even though all of them has weird (but cute) titles

• Your ears may or may not work well for the next day or two

• At least she sweetened the pot with kisses, which you will accept because who doesn't like kisses? Especially from Ibuki Mioda herself

【Mahiru Koizumi】

• how the heck do you write mahiru

• Mahiru can make anything she takes a photo of look good

• But recently she may have lost some inspiration to really take any photos

• So how about some flowers to help cheer her up

• You know thats she's kinda a sucker for flowers after all

• And she really loved it!!

• Her face now showing a light tint of pink as she holds the flowers in her hands, a cute smile plastered on her face as well

• A soft kiss on the cheek was planted on your face, being stuck with the inspiration to take a few photos

• And guess what? She asked you to pose with the flowers so she can take some pictures

• How can you say no to her?

【Mikan Tsumiki】

• Oh the poor nurse would probably cry when you gave her the flowers

• More so when you tell her how she's not appreciated enough so your first act of this is by giving her a beautiful bouquet of flowers

• She feels like she doesn't deserve you

• But you tell her otherwise as she deserves everything and if you could give her the whole world, you would

• She gives you so many soft peppered kisses because she just loves you so so so much and is happy that you appreciate her

• She'll keep them in her office so whenever she doesn't have any patients she can look at them and think of you

• Will most likely try to give you something in return but you would tell her that she doesn't need to

• You continue to shower her in gifts, appreciation, and praise to remind her that she is worth everything to you

【Peko Pekoyama】

• Oh this stotic swordswoman would have no idea how to really react to it

• She has never really been given flowers- like at all in her entire life so when you suddenly decide to gift her a bouquet of them, it definitely catches her off guard

• But she accepts them either way

• Is she supposed to return the gift but giving you a gift? Is she just supposed to keep them? What does she do now?

• She's still getting used affection and gifts

• You just give her a smile, taking one of the flowers from the bouquet and softly put it in her hair

• You just tell her that she doesn't need to return anything and you give her a kiss on the cheek

• Now she's even more confused, though she has a light pink shade of blush on her face

• So much for being the stotic swordswoman

【Sonia Nevermind】

• This girl probably has fields of different types of pretty flowers back in her homeland

• She is the Ultimate Princess after all

• But when you decide to give her a bouquet of flowers

• Oh she is swooned

• It just feels much more special when your s/o puts the love and effort into giving you flowers, y'know?

• She loves the flowers so so much and gives you so many kisses as a thank you

• She'll even offer to use the flowers and make flower crowns for both you and her

• And if you don't want that, then thats fine with her

• Though, expect to be gifted a bouquet of flowers back!

• The love should be shared equally

❀•°•═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══•°•❀

Woah this took longer than expected- I kinda lost slight motivation after writing Mikan, Ibuki, and Chiaki's part

Buuuut- I'm gonna do the THH girls after this but also gonna work on some requests ^^

Really tired now tho- but gotta keep writing ✍

~ Mod Toko 💜

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gagangpensil · 4 years

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Imposter Syndrome,

Kesempatan Untuk Mengenali Diri Sendiri.

Setelah mendapat gelar S.Pd banyak tetangga di kampung dan teman lama yang menganggap saya di atas mereka (soal pengetahuan). Mereka menganggap sarjana itu hebat dan pencapaian yang membanggakan.

Tapi dalam batin saya, saya tidak sehebat itu. Saya belum pandai bahasa inggris, mengerjakan skripsi juga banyak pakai Google translate. Copas jurnal sana sini. Bahkan, menurut saya anak SMA pun bisa mengerjakannya jika punya waktu dan niat.

Skripsi saya biasa saja. Aktifitas kuliah juga biasa saja. Anak SMA pun bisa duduk di kelas menyimak dosen, mengerjakan presentasi kelompok selama 8 semester.

Menjadi mahasiswa bukan sesuatu yang WAH seperti anggapan orang-orang. Bergelar S.Pd rasanya tidak membuktikan kalau saya sudah benar-benar menguasai jurusanku.

Toga dan jubah yang kedodoran seperti menanyai saya, apa yang berbeda dengan diriku 5 tahun lalu. Kok rasanya sama saja. Kenapa sekarang saya mengenakan jubah ini dan punya gelar baru. Apa saya pantas. Bukannya jubah ini untuk mereka para akademisi, para peneliti dan ahli yang kompeten di bidangnya. Kenapa saya ikut memakainya.

Selepas perayaan dan selebrasi ini, di luar sana beberapa tahun lagi mungkin ada yang tanya apa judul skripsiku. Apa yang saya teliti. Bagaimana hasilnya. Barangkali saya tidak bisa menjawab. Saya mungkin lupa dan tidak mempedulikan penelitianku dulu. Semua sudah berlalu. Seperti melewati halang lintang. Lakukan, lewati lalu lupakan.

Saya tentu lupa sebab saya tidak betul-betul concern dan ahli di dalamnya. Mahasiswa nyatanya tidak perlu ahli untuk bisa wisuda. Yang penting sudah terlewati. Yang penting sudah selesai. Yang penting sudah dapat ijasah. Yang penting sudah dapet gelar. Hidup mesti berlanjut. Dunia baru harus dijalani. Fokus baru mesti ditempuh.

Lalu mungkin ada yang bercanda, kamu beneran kuliah kan? Sudah lulus kan?

Mungkin saya bisa membela diri. Tentu. 8 semester penuh perjuangan, mengerjakan skripsi sampai berdarah-darah, mengejar-ngejar dosen pembimbing, minta tanda tangan, koneksi internet susah dll.

But I can't. That's fake. That's drama. Apa yang saya kerjakan dan lalui sepertinya semua orang juga mampu. Saya tidak sehebat itu. Saya hanya bekerja keras. Orang lain yang bekerja sama kerasnya dengan saya pasti juga bisa. Lalu di mana hebatnya saya?

Tahun 2018 saya sempat ikut program unggulan kampus. Saya lolos bersama 20an mahasiswa pilihan dari semua fakultas, dari ribuan mahasiswa. Mahasiswa lain mengganggap kami spesial. Mahasiswa pilihan yang paling unggul. Dapat treatment spesial.

Di luar diri saya bangga, tapi di dalam saya merasa fake. Saya bisa lolos bukan karena saya hebat, tapi karena keberuntungan.

Salah satu form-nya yang harus diisi dalam program itu adalah esai rencana exchange, study abroad dan setelah lulus S1 mau ngapain.

Waktu itu esai yang saya tulis cukup panjang dan ambisius. Sebetulnya saya hanya mengarangnya dan tidak berpikir bisa mewujudkan cita-cita di esai itu semua. Saya buka google, mencari nama Universitas keren di UK dan jurusan yang menurut saya masuk akal. Kebetulan panitia sangat memperhatikan esai yang ambisius. Alhasil saya diloloskan.

Saya tidak tahu berapa nilai toefl saya setelah keluar. Mungkin paling buruk. Saya melihat peserta lain juga tidak jauh berbeda dengan mahasiswa biasa. Kami hanya menang di keberuntungan dan kemauan mendaftar.

Semua mahasiwa bisa saja lolos jika kuota tidak terbatas. Saya tidak sehebat dan sespesial dalam bayangan mahasiswa lain. Keadaan dan programnya saja yang dianggap spesial.

Rektor secara langsung meresmikan program kami di depan ratusan peserta sidang senat terbuka. Kami diharapkan menjadi mahasiswa unggulan. Tapi benarkah kami unggulan. Benarkah saya unggulan. Kemampuan bahasa inggris saya saja masih di bawah mahasiswa-mahasiswa yang tidak lolos. Ada banyak mahasiswa yang lebih kompeten dari saya, tapi kebetulan tidak mendaftar.

Setelah program selesai, saya mendirikan komunitas menulis, menerbitkan buku bersama, mengadakan bedah buku, diundang di seminar. Barangkali mahasiswa lain takjub dan menganggap saya hebat, tapi di tempat duduk saya melihat kosong ke depan.

Kenapa mereka mau melihat saya bicara dan menganggap saya memotivasi mereka. Mereka juga bisa seperti saya. Saya tidak hebat. Saya tidak lebih unggul dari mereka. Tulisan saya tidak bagus-bagus amat. Banyak typo dan editing yang kacau. Jika disuruh membacanya kembali mungkin saya akan merobeknya. Saya kadang malu dengan tulisan saya sendiri. Tulisan saya tidak dahsyat dan sebaik tulisan penulis profesional. Saya sadar itu. Kemampuan saya biasa saja.

Di luar diri, saya bangga berdiri di depan peserta seminar dan melayani orang yang meminta tanda tangan. Di dalam diri, saya sadar bahwa kemampuan saya tidak sehabat itu. Saya tidak pantas bangga. Semua orang juga bisa melakukan apa yang saya lakukan.

Kadang saya takut orang lain tahu kalau yang saya lakukan itu biasa saja. Tidak sehebat yang dikira. Saya hanya menipu keadaan. Saya hanya beruntung. Saya hanya pura-pura jadi mahasiwa dan bergelar S.Pd. padahal kemampuan saya tidak beda dengan anak SMA.

Saya pura-pura ahli dalam penelitian skripsi saya, padahal saya hanya copas jurnal sana-sini, masukan data lapangan, dan pengolahan yang tidak serumit yang dipikirkan. Saya hanya pura-pura menjadi mahasiswa unggulan yang masuk program (yang katanya unggulan). Saya hanya pura-pura menjadi mahasiwa cumlaude. Saya hanya pura-pura jadi penulis yang tulisannya sebenernya tidak hebat-hebat amat.

Suatu hari seorang kawan mengenalkanku pada istilah psikologis yang mirip dengan keresahan yang selama ini saya alami.

Jauh pada tahun 1978 lalu, Psikolog klinis Pauline R. Clance dan Suzanne A. Imes seperti sudah mengenal baik saya. Mereka berdua menyebut kondisi ini Imposter Syndrome.

Jadi Imposter Syndrom ini merujuk pada kondisi yang dialami orang-orang "berprestasi" yang tak mampu menginternalisasi pencapaiannya. Gejalanya yaitu ketakutan akan dianggap sebagai "penipu".

Katanya bahkan penderita berpikir bahwa bukti kesuksesan yang telah didapatkan merupakan hasil dari menipu orang sekitarnya, agar mereka terlihat kompeten dan berprestasi dibandingkan orang sekitarnya.

Apakah saya sendiri?

Ternyata tidak. Di Vogue Inggris, Emma Watson berujar "Ketika saya menerima penghargaan atas akting saya, saya merasa benar-benar tidak nyaman. Saya merasa tidak pantas menerimanya."

Selain Emma, aktris asal Amerika Serikat, Natalie Portman yang menjadi pemeran utama Black Swan pun ternyata juga mengalaminya. Ia adalah sarjana psikologi di Harvard, ia bahkan mengatakannya saat berpidato tentang apa yang dirasakannya. "Hari ini, saya merasa sama seperti saat saya masuk Harvard pada 199.. Saya merasa seperti ada kesalahan - bahwa saya tidak cukup pintar untuk ada di sini dan setiap saya membuka mulut, saya mesti membuktikan bahwa saya bukan sekadar aktris bodoh,"

Menurut wikipedia orang-orang terkenal ini juga pernah mengalami sindrom tersebut, diantaranya: Tom Hanks, penulis skenario Chuck Lorre, Neil Gaiman, John Green, Tommy Cooper, Sheryl Sandberg, Mahkamah Agung Amerika Serikat Sonia Sotomayor, dan pengusaha Mike Cannon-Brookes.

Terlepas dari bukti eksternal kompetensi mereka, orang dengan sindrom ini akan tetap yakin bahwa mereka adalah penipu dan tidak pantas atas kesuksesan yang mereka capai.

Bukti kesuksesan mereka tersebut diatributkan pada keberuntungan, waktu yang tepat, atau sebagai hasil menipu orang lain, hingga berpikir bahwa orang lain lebih cerdas dan kompeten dibandingkan dirinya.

"Saya telah menulis sebelas buku, tapi setiap kali saya berpikir, 'oh, mereka akan tahu sekarang. Saya sudah mempedaya semua orang, dan mereka akan membongkar saya.''" — Maya Angelou

Ingat ayat bahwa Tuhan menutupi aib kita. Apabila aib kita dibuka, maka alangkah hinanya kita. Seandainya dosa kita berbau, barangkali tidak ada yang mau mendekati kita. Nah, orang dengan Impostor Syndrome ini merasakan rasa takut dan was-was jika aib atau keadaan sebenarnya mereka terbuka.

Namun kemudian psikolog Clance, sang pencipta istilah Imposter Syndrome ini menamakannya ulang dengan istilah “pengalaman penyemu” (Impostor Experience).

Dalam kutipan kata-kata Clance, "Jika saya dapat melakukannya lagi, saya akan menyebutnya sebagai pengalaman penyemu, karena hal tersebut bukanlah suatu sindrom atau suatu kompleks atau penyakit mental, hal tersebut adalah sesuatu yang hampir setiap orang mengalaminya."

Penggantian kosakata ini akhirnya mengubah perspektif orang agar dapat memahami bahwa mereka pun tidak terbebas dari pengalaman tersebut. Bahwa pengalaman penyemu merupakan fenomena umum.

Menurut jurnal "The Impostor Phenomenon" International Journal of Behavioral Science halaman 73–92 yang ditulis oleh Jaruwan Sakulku (2011), 70% orang akan mengalami setidaknya satu episode fenomena penyemu ini dalam kehidupan mereka.

Jadi ini pengalaman "experience" bukan syndrom atau penyakit mental. 70% orang di dunia mengalaminya dan punya pengalaman berada di kondisi seperti saya.

Pertanyaannya, berapa lama orang berada dalam kondisi ini?

Menurut saya ada orang yang nyaman berada di posisi "dianggap hebat atas pencapaian" dan tidak mau terlalu menghiraukan fakta kalau pencapaiannya itu biasa saja atau semua orang aslinya juga bisa (mengabaikan kemampuan asli diri sendiri).

Ada orang yang sadar dan jujur kepada diri sendiri bahwa "duh, aku gabisa terus-terusan pura-pura gini. Aku tahu aslinya akutu biasa aja gak seperti yang orang lain kira. Aku capek pura-pura hebat di hadapan banyak orang."

Orang semacam ini sadar bahwa pencapaianya belum seberapa. Jika ada yg bilang, "wih kamu hebat ya" dia malah malu sendiri. Sebab apa yang dilakukannya sebetulnya biasa saja. Orang lain hanya belum mencapai titik yang sudah ia raih dan orang lain tersebut barangkali punya keinginan untuk mencapai hal yang sama.

Contohnya, orang gak bisa nyetir mobil melihat orang bisa nyetir mobil. Dia akan bilang, wah hebat kamu bisa nyetir mobil. Padahal sopir itu merasa itu biasa aja. Nyetir mobil gak sesusah yang dibayangkan kok.

Wah kamu hebat ya bisa jadi guru. Padahal kita yang jadi guru merasa tidak sesulit dan serumit kelihatannya.

Wah hebat, kamu bisa menerbangkan pesawat. Padahal setiap penumpang bisa menerbangkan pesawat jika tahu caranya dan berlatih.

Wah hebat, designmu bagus. Padahal saya hanya ambil bahan dari freepik.com dan belajar Adobe Ilstrator dari Youtube.

Wah hebat ya, laporanmu rapi dan cepat selesai. Padahal saya hanya memakai formula excel yang bertebaran di google.

Wah bagus ya tulisanmu, bisa detail dan menarik. Padahal saya hanya melakukan riset dengan membaca data peristiwa di buku-buku sejarah, menjadikannya latar waktu dan tempat dalam cerita.

Wah bagus ya puisimu, padahal saya hanya banyak membaca puisi-puisi penyair besar dan meniru gayanya.

Wah hebat ya kamu gini gitu, padahal begini begitu. Semua orang bisa! Saya bukan nabi yang punya mukjizat khusus yang bisa melakukan sesuatu yang hanya saya saja yang bisa.

Masalah yang dihadapi orang yang nyaman berpura-pura adalah dia akan dihantui dengan perasaan was-was jika orang lain tahu bahwa dirinya biasa saja atau tahu rahasia yang disembunyikannya. Ia takut kalau sisi asli yang gak sesuai dengan penilaian orang lain itu terungkap. Pekerjaan yang dilakukan tidak serumit kelihatannya. Pencapaian yang didapatnya sebenarnya karena kebetulan atau orang lain aslinya juga bisa berada di posisinya.

Dulu waktu sekolah sampai awal kuliah saya senang dan bangga jika dianggap unggul/menonjol. Makin lama saya capek pura-pura bahwa saya gak sehebat yang mereka pikir. Saya capek membangun persona hebat dan hidup dalam rasa was-was kalau orang lain tahu bahwa kemampuan saya biasa saja. Bahkan semakin ke sini semakin gak nyaman dengan pujian dari orang lain.

Masalah orang yang sadar dan ingin keluar dari kepura-puraan seperti saya ini merasa tidak percaya dengan kemampuan diri sendiri karena sadar bahwa kemampuan saya aslinya tidak hebat-hebat amat. Sadar bahwa jauh di dalam diri tidak sesuai dengan penilaian orang lain.

Bahwa saya kurang kompeten di bidang mengajar bahasa inggris meskipun anggapan orang saya ahli karena sarjana keguruan bahasa inggris. Saya kadang tidak percaya diri dengan kemampuan saya karena saya sadar saya belum menguasainya.

Tapi barangkali itulah definisi jujur pada diri sendiri. Yaitu sadar dan berani membaca keadaan diri yang sebenarnya. Menurut saya itu lebih layak dijalani daripada hidup dalam kepura-puraan dan dalam rasa takut.

Jujur pada diri sendiri ternyata lebih menyehatkan mental. Bisa membuat lebih rendah hati juga, bahwa jika tidak kompeten di bidang A maka saya mesti jujur. Bahwa meski dianggap hebat saya bisa tetap rendah hati karena sadar diri bahwa aslinya saya tidak sehebat yang orang lain prasangkakan. Bahwa yang saya lakukan hanya prosedural, pelatihan yang bisa diajarkan dan dikuasai oleh semua orang, tidak hanya saya.

Untuk menghadapi rasa malu saat orang lain kagum pada saya, "Wah hebat kamu ya sudah wisuda, wah hebat kamu ya sudah menerbitkan buku dll" saya dengan percaya diri akan menjawab "ah gak juga. Saya ndak sehebat itu. Semua orang bisa kok seperti saya."

Setelah itu, saya baru merenung. Ya, saya memang tidak sehebat yang mereka kira. Kemampuan saya biasa saja kok. Saya akan jujur pada orang lain sekaligus pada diri sendiri karena kenyataannya memang begitu.

Barangkali pengalaman penyemu ini adalah kesempatan saya untuk lebih dewasa dan rendah hati. Bahwa profesi apa pun tak bisa disombongkan, bahwa pencapaian apa pun tak bisa ditinggi-rendahkan. Bahwa banyak pekerjaan yang bisa dilatihkan dan semua orang bisa.

Saya tidak perlu menyembunyikan "proses mudah yang nampak wah" untuk mendapatkan pujian atau penilaian orang. Saya tidak perlu takut dan was-was. selama saya jujur pada diri sendiri, tidak menghebatkan diri dan tidak mendewakan karya yang saya hasilkan.

Syaikh Abdurrazaq Al Badr Hafidzahullah pernah bilang, "Orang berakal tidak akan memperhatikan pujian dan sanjungan manusia kepadanya karena ia lebih mengetahui kekurangan dirinya sendiri dibanding dengan mereka."

Menurut saya, mengambil penilaian orang lain dalam porsi besar dan menjadikan itu sebagai patokan pencapaian dan kemampuan diri adalah kesalahan. Apa yang orang lain nilai dari saya barangkali adalah persona saya, bukan apa yang sebenarnya. Apa yang sebenarnya hanya saya yang tahu, dan itu jauh lebih penting.

Seharusnya saya yang lebih mengenali diri saya bukan orang lain.

Mengeliminasi penilaian diri (karena nilainya rendah) lalu memakai penilaian orang lain (karena nilainya tinggi) adalah bentuk membohongi diri sendiri. Orang yang paling saya percayai seharusnya adalah diri saya sendiri, bagaimana jika diri saya sendiri saja saya tipu. Siapa lagi yang saya punya.

Saya membayangkan satu waktu, ketika saya sendirian. Yang saya punya hanya saya sendiri. Saya menjalani hidup dengan kaki dan tangan sendiri, kemampuan diri sendiri. Saya berdiri di dalam aula besar dunia asing yang hiruk pikuk. Sebuah negara asing dan semua orang tidak mengenali saya. Yang bisa saya andalkan hanya kemampuan yang saya punya, bukan "Katanya kamu hebat ini itu, katanya kamu sarjana ini itu, katanya kamu dulu pernah ini itu ya?" Tidak ada yang kenal dengan saya. Saya sendirian di negara tersebut.

Pada akhirnya, penilaian orang lain tidak penting lagi. Jika saya mengikuti penilaian orang, saya akan hidup dalam hidup mereka bukan hidup saya sendiri.

Barangkali akan ada suatu waktu ketika saya diberikan pekerjaan yang mereka anggap saya hebat dan kompeten di dalamnya, (padahal saya biasa saja), akan ada rentetan penyembunyian-penyembunyian hasil kerja yang saya lakukan, karena saya tidak sehebat yang mereka kira, dan saya sendiri akan tersiksa untuk memenuhi ekspektasi mereka.

Dalam kesempatan pengalaman penyemu ini saya akan bersikap jujur pada diri sendiri dan berkenalan lebih dalam dengan diri sendiri. Saya yang akan menentukan saya hebat atau tidak. Saya yang akan menentukan berhak diberi pujian/penghargaan (karena sudah melakukan sesuatu dengan sepenuh hati) atau tidak. Saya sendiri yang akan menilai diri saya sendiri. Saya akan memerdekakan diri saya sendiri.

Barangkali inilah kesempatan saya untuk berkenalan dengan diri saya sendiri.

Sehingga "saya" yang ada di kepala saya bukan lagi "saya" menurut orang lain, tapi "saya" yang paling dekat dan paling saya kenal kemampuan dan proses yang sudah ia lewati.

Image: IG @rahasiagadis

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izur-x · 3 years

Text

Glitch nagito x reader

Note: Sorry if the character is ooc

Two months after the entrance ceremony

"Yukizome-kun, i assigning you to be assistant homeroom teacher of the first group of the 77th class.""alright, principal kirigiri!" Yukizome answer.

Principal kirigiri Putting his elbow on the table and clenched his both hands, he look at yukizome "You've just graduated, so it may be difficult." He smiled softly "but I'm counting on you." Principal kirigiri said and then back to his poker face.

And all of a sudden

Principal kirigiri look down and say "kizakura-kun." Kizakura, who is sitting on the couch with his hand on his mouth, "sorry, sorry. I was drinking too much last night..." With an awkward smile, and he's back, putting his hand on his mouth, he look like he's about to vomit.

Principal kirigiri look at yukizome who is looking at kizakura "sorry, it's just like what you see, the homeroom teacher isn't too serious, so i think you may have some trouble." Kizakura free his hand from his mouth and bring the other hand up, "it's okay to treat the class like's it's your own!"

"I will! Leave it to me-" Yukizome bring her hand to her chest and accidentally hit it pretty hard causing her to cough, principal kirigiri sweat drop, yukizome walked to the door and say "please pardon me for that!" With one hand up and one to her chest, she closed the door, and walk to 1-b

As she infront of the class slide door, she entered "good morning!" "Wait, there's only four of you?", "Good morning." The ultimate princess said, the ultimate yakuza let out 'hump' while his legs on the table, "what's this? A women I've never seen just came in." The ultimate japanese traditional dancer say, "um, may we know who are you?" The ultimate photographer said with a sweatdrop.

"Starting today, I'll be your teacher, yukizome chisa." She tilled her head to the side with a closed eyes smile "it's nice to meet you!" "Oh, this one look's like's she'll be fun to break. Her sosial position, organs, life, and more!" Hiyoko said, yukizome show her Charter, "don't you worry. Your teacher has lot's of life insurance." With a smile like it was nothing.

"I give praise to thee." Sonia said "that isn't how we speak in japanese." Mahiru replayed. "Hold on, where did kizakura go?! He's our homeroom teacher." Fuyuhiko shouted, "if you're talking about kizakura-sensei, he's hung over and vomiting." Yukizome replay to fuyuhiko question, "again?".

And then, the door slide open reveal the ultimate nurse "sorry! I'm late!" And she trip with a VERY interesting pose...

"You do this every morning. Are you a bot? You stupid klutz of a women." Hiyoko scolded mikan"I'm sorry!","there, there... That's makes five person's" yukizome try to calm down mikan, "this may be everyone for today" sonia said to yukizome "but, (y/n)nee-san isn't here yet, that's strange!" Hiyoko bring her one hands to her chin.

"Huh, what are the others kids doing?","i don't know, and i don't care. But of course i care about mahiru and (y/n) nee-san only." Hiyoko said with a grin on her face, mahiru sweatdrop and look at yukizome "beside, attendance at this school isn't mandaroty, isn't it?" She look down, "you just need to properly train for you skills and pass the practical exams." Mahiru finnish her words, "i...i was trying to attend class-" mikan words got cut off by fuyuhiko shouting at her, make her to apologise.

Yukizome face palm, "i see... You all have these disappointing relationship, don't you?" With a disappointing tone, "this is crisis that's need to resolving!" While transformation to a blue maid outfit, kinda..

Everyone sweatdrop, "you're our Senior?" Mahiru with a surprise tone, "youth only come once. It will never return!" Yukizome walked to the back of the classroom while both of her hands on her waist.

"However, you don't even care about your classmates." "You kids are all..." "Rotten oranges!" She point her fingers at the students, "huh?!" Mahiru, hiyoko, and fuyuhiko let it out at the same time while mikan let out an 'eek!'.

And there's—

"Rotten oranges?" Sonia ask, as yukizome scolded the students, "meaning that you guys can't continue like this!" She pointed her fingers again, "let's go and bring back all your rotten friends!" "We're going to take back your lost youth!"

And just like that they looking for their classmates.

Time skip.

As they found peko, "alright! Four more to go! The door of youth is right before our eyes!" "Are we still continuing?" Mahiru ask, hiyoko is complaining and teruteru being a pervert as usual getting hit by bamboo sword by yukizome.

"Now, the next one should be them?"

As they walking "i know they should be around here..." as yukizome look at her notebook and the rest is following from behind, "when he's involved, nothing good ever happens to me!" Kazuichi complaining while he rub his back of hos head with he's hands.

And then there's a truck and hit him everyone shouted his name.

And there, a two persons standing infront of the vending machine, "that's weird..." He keep pushing the button, while the girl nodded, "i put in a thousand yen and pushed the button, but nothing is coming out." And he stop pushing the button, "im so unlucky." He sigh, "the machine is probably broken." The girl said while rubbing his back for comfort.

He realise something falls from the sky, he grab (h/c)nette head, pulling her head to his chest and the other hands on her waist, the girl seems okay with it, and a truck falls from the sky hitting the vending machine, and machine let out a sound showing that he's got the lucky one, the drink's start to come out from the vending machine.

They still hugging each other while looking down at the machine, "what, i really am lucky afterall!" Nagito komaeda the ultimate lucky student and (y/n) (l/n) the ultimate prodigy's after prodigy's, they both release the hug and start to pick up the drink's.

As they picking up, y/n want to pick up one cans someone grab it first and hands it over to y/n, she look at her with no motions at all "here." Yukizome keep her hands still (Y/n) takes the cans out of yukizome grip slowly.

As they arrive at the class, nagito laugh, "you wanted to meet a scum like-" (y/n) hit the back of nagito head, everyone sweatdrop at (y/n) actions, "stop saying that your a trash." Nagito look at (y/n) with his hands rubbing the pain on the back of his head and laugh.

Yukizome lift up her left arms "alright! Now there's only two left." She slammed with hands to the teacher desk, "everyone get yourselves ready!", "Eh?! Im exhausted! My legs are broken!" Mikan walked up to hiyoko and ask if she was alright, and ofc hiyoko scolded her.

Yukizome tell the class to start cleaning the classroom, mean a while she looking for the two students, everyone starts to clean.

Time skip.

As yukizome return with chiaki and ryota, everyone done cleaning, "yes, we'll keep going like this tommorow, too!" Yukizome said with cheerful tone, "tommorow as well, you said?" Gundham open his one eyes and look at yukizome "in this school, as long you have talent, i heard you were free to choose whether to attend class." Gundham continue.

Yukizome cross her hands "true, that's what the school rules said, but..." (Y/n) bring her attention from looking outside to yukizome with a blank eyes no spark at all, yukizome place her one hands to the desk, and look at everyone "there's more to life than just a talent. Interacting with others will build a Character and help you make a memories." "Let's help make something more important than talent shine - Your hope" yukizome continue her speech.

"Hope? That's sounds wonderful." Nagito said with a closed eyes smile, and then he put a normal face and bring he's hands up to his chin and sais "but... I already have one... Well, more hope for me, can't believe you guys-" nagito look at everyone, he was confused by everyone come to silent, no one said anything and then—

"HUH?!?!" Everyone shouted at the same time, yukizome, teruteru, kazuichi, mahiru, hiyoko, sonia and fuyuhiko walked up to nagito and asking who is it, "wah! Who is it, nagito?" Yukizome ask him with excitement "what?! Can't believe you got one before me?!" Kazuichi breakdown "no one want you, you know." Hiyoko said mean things to kazuichi, "have you do 'it' with her?!" Once again teruteru got punch by yukizome.

Nagito laugh at everyone behavior and point to someone and say "that's my hope if you asking." They follow his fingers lead them to.....

"(Y/N)?!?!"

(Y/n) once again look the window and then shift her attention to everyone with bored eyes "what?", And everyone keep asking the same thing with nagito to (y/n).

And of course (y/n) answer the questions one by one, and then she stop, she got up from her seat walk to the window, open it, and jump out of it.

Everyone shouted except nagito, as a future husband childhood friend (+ best friend) he walked to the window, but first he bow to the teacher and everyone else, and joining (y/n) everyone look through the window to see if they are okay.

The fact that they're fine from falling us shocking, everyone sigh relief and packing their stuff and go to their dorm

For (y/n) and nagito, they didn't life in a dorm, they life together outside the campus, peacefully, no shouting, no chaos, as they walked to their house, the classmates minus chiaki and ryota, don't forget about yukizome, following them, as (y/n) and nagito stol walking "well this is our stop." Nagito grab (y/n) hands and kiss it.

(Y/n) look at nagito action, she avoided nagito face because her cheeks is reddened a bit, "let's go, what are we waiting for?" Nagito ask her with a warm smile, the group who spy them is dying, especially kazuichi and teruteru.

Nagito step closer to (y/n), grab her right cheeks and slowly lift her head to Making her look at him and....

Everyone look at them intensely wishing them to kiss, it's obviously nagito noticed it, although he was originally want to kiss (y/n) but not in the public, (y/n) open her mouth a little and close her eyes.

Nagito bring his face close to her, they're not kissing, only a small gaps between their lips, and yet their breath becomes heavy, they stay for a while like that, holding each other really close and then they parted away.

The group is currently crying, they can't handle it so they back to their own dorm, and then nagito took a chances to actually kiss her, (y/n) look at nagito who is not looking at her, she follows where's nagito was looking and see their classmates walking away with tears and yukizome who is crying, shouted 'youth' repeatly with both arms up.

The couple looks at them sweatdrop, nagito hands still gripping on (y/n) cheeks and waist, he brings his attention to the women who he's holding, moving his hands from her cheeks to the back if her head and start kissing her jawlines.

(Y/n) shocked and covering her neck and look at nagito, "w-why did you do that?" (Y/n) wanted to back up but nagito hands still on her waist, "hm? Oh, just.. forgot it." Before (y/n) can answer that, a pairs of lips touching (y/n) lips, pulling her to a kiss by nagito.

(Y/n) eyes shot open, shock for a second and then giving in, and finally they parted away, nagito smiled at (y/n), he let go her cheeks and grab (y/n) hands, walk in to the house.

I'll make a part two out of this

#nagito komaeda #danganronpa #danganronpa v2 goodbye despair #dr2 goodbye despair #one shot #nagito x you #sdr2 nagito #nagito x reader #nagito headcanons #yandere nagito #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa komaeda #sdr2 #danganronpa v2 #danganronpa x reader #dr2 imagines #dr2 komaeda #komaeda x reader #danganronpa x you

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magioftheseas · 3 years

Text

Boom Through Jabberwock!! Bang Bang!

Summary: An alternate/bonus scene spanning from Matsuda giving Ibuki a certain CD in Chapter 24 of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke’s Battle of Despair and Wits.

Rating: PG

Warnings: None really.

Notes: It’s the yukata bonus scene but for SDR2 Protag Matsuda Yasuke. There’s a bunch more song references and extra banner. The yukata scene’s probably my favorite of the bonus events in sdr2, so it ended up being the longest. Hopefully that’s okay. It’s also much gayer. Because pride.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

“If dealing with her is your way of dealing with guilt over Koizumi, then—I don’t think you could continue bothering.”

Mioda blinked again. Her mouth hung open, jaw slack before it began to tremble.

“Y-Yasuke-chan, that’s—way harsh! You’re making it sound like I don’t care about Hiyoko-chan at all!”

“It’s suffocating to have someone dote on you because they feel sorry for you,” he said. “It’s even worse when that person is floundering because then you feel bad for them.”

“Wah!”

“The fact that you approached me screams that you’re pulling your hair out over what to do about her.” Matsuda sighed, rubbing his nape. “That’s not remotely helpful. Gather your bearings first. Maybe...”

It’s not that I’m obligated to help, but it would be to my benefit that she and Saionji get along.

“When you kick the gachapon enough times, you can get prizes,” he finds himself saying, digging around in his coat to pull something out. “I happened to get this.”

This being the debut single of the band, The Black Cherries. Summer Festivitrees.

He tossed it to Mioda, but it just smacked against her chest as she gaped and he hurriedly had to catch it before it fell to the ground and broke before even having a chance to play.

“Um,” Mioda uttered as Matsuda handed it to her a second time. She didn’t take the CD. “W... Wow, Yasuke-chan.”

“No good, huh,” he guessed, waving it in front of her. Somehow, that did not make the CD more enticing. “Guess this kind of thing isn’t your jam.”

“I was just thinking that you’re fearless,” she said. “I mean—coulda guessed that from you and Nagito-chan being a thing... But seriously, that you’d have the brass to show me this...”

Matsuda’s frown deepened. His brow furrowed for good measure. However, when he pondered about what the fuck this girl’s problem could be, he could scrounge up a few ideas.

“Rival band?” he guessed, looking at the back of the CD. All it listed, of course, was the songs and artists and some copyright. “Or was there some stupid band drama?”

“Rivals!” Mioda confirmed with a chirp. “Did you not hear about all the hype of boys versus girls?! The battle of the boy bands and the girl bands?! The epic showdown of chicks and di—!”

“...isn’t battle of the sexes so last decade?” Matsuda asked, raising an eyebrow. “Hell, wasn’t it more thing two decades ago? Talk about outdated.”

“It super is,” Mioda agreed. “But that was just the press for ya. Out of time, out of tune, out of touch! My old band’s ticket sales and concert attendance numbers still got compared with the Cherries’ all the time.” She perked right up. “But out with the old, in with the new! It doesn’t matter to me because it’s old news about my old band!!”

“I see...”

“Music shouldn’t be about sales anyway!” she exclaimed. “Down with capitalism! Eat the rich!” A pause. She groaned, pained. “Oogh, Byakuya-chan would have been so yummy and chewy... I miss him so much...”

What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

“The meeting’s about to start,” he reminded her. “And...about Saionji...”

“This lightbulb has now been lit!” Mioda went right back to shouting, undeterred even as Matsuda grimaced. She just looked at him with bright, sparkling eyes. “Yasuke-chan, can I have you for the night?”

“...” His grimace darkened. “...”

“If you’re that busy with Nagito-chan, I gueeeeeeess he can come too,” she says, huffing before outright whining. “But you gotta give me an answer! Even if it’s not the story that I planned, I gotta hear your answer! I wanna know the answer!”

Matsuda squeezed his eyes shut, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

I really don’t want to, but...

“I guess I might as well go,” he grumbled.

“You should!” Mioda agreed happily. “GOOD answer! There wouldn’t have been much point in this bonus scene if you said no, Yasuke-chan!”

Matsuda stared.

“Ooh, so sharp! So cool! Cutting like the highest note!” she gushed. “Alright! The meeting time is two hours before the evening announcement! At the supermarket! No carts needed!”

Matsuda turned on his heel to hurry on ahead.

“Alright, then, guess that’s that.”

When she shouted some more, he didn’t look back. Only quickened his step.

After all the plot-relevant stuff of which the reader shouldn’t be concerned with right now, Matsuda did end up remembering the plans he made.

“Oh, right. It’s probably getting about whatever time that rocker girl wanted to meet up.”

“Oh, Matsuda-kun!” Komaeda exclaimed. “If you had already made arrangements with our Mioda-san, shouldn’t you have respected that first and foremost?”

“I had more important things going on,” Matsuda muttered. “Stuff more...relevant.”

“Geez, you’re such an asshole,” Hinata griped because he was here too for reasons. “Just hurry on. You shouldn’t keep Mioda waiting.”

“Eh.” He really shouldn’t. That said—“She said Komaeda can come, so I guess you should come, too.”

“H-Huh?! Why?!”

“Just...a feeling I have. Come on, you two.” Matsuda gestured for them to follow. “We’re heading to the supermarket.”

“Uwah, how exciting! Mioda-san’s kindness knows no bounds!” Komaeda gushed to which Hinata could only grumble.

“I feel like I’m just going to get pulled into extra work...”

Good news.

“O-nya-su-mi! O-nya-su-mi!” Mioda waved them over frantically from behind one of the aisles. “Ready for something to happen?!”

She gasped, gripping one of the cereal boxes with glee when she saw that Matsuda hadn’t arrived either alone or with just the resident crazy on the islands.

“Ooh, you brought Hajime-chan, too! I guess you do know the saying! Three’s a crowd, four’s a party!”

“Hey, Mioda,” Hinata greeted half-heartedly as she put the cereal back. Hinata strode up to her only to pause. What laid scattered before him was undeniable and he could only sigh at his fate. “Okay... What’s all this?”

When Matsuda got close enough for a look, he could see the piles upon piles of cardboard boxes. Komaeda, too, blinked at the sheer volume.

“Kaboom! Through summer!” Mioda exclaimed with a thunderous clap. “You can’t have a summer without fireworks!”

“I’ve had many of those,” Matsuda informed her without missing a beat.

“Loud noises make me a bit nervous,” Komaeda admitted before exclaiming, “How exciting!”

“Oh, right,” Hinata remembered. “Komaeda, on your student profile, it lists your dislikes as...”

“D-Don’t worry about it, Hinata-kun! It’s for the sake of hope!” Komaeda did in fact seem more nervous than excited. “Hope can come in loud, colorful bursts!”

“Eh...?”

“Filthy fireworks disappear into the sky!” Mioda sing-songs. “From Summer Festivitrees! Haven’t you heard it?”

“I don’t really listen to music that doesn’t play in anime,” Matsuda replied.

“Bang! Bang! There go my dreams!” Mioda gasped, but she recovered quickly. “Anyway!” With a salesperson grin, she gave a wide sweeping gesture towards the boxes. She even wiggled her hand while she was at it. “Boys, get those boxes! Let’s go! Set up!”

“Hah,” Matsuda huffed. “You could have gotten literally anyone to do grunt work.”

“Between the four of us, it won’t be too bad,” Hinata points out. “I mean...”

“Yeah, it’s a party!” Mioda agreed. “A super spicy party! Well—it’s a real party since I’ve already invited a few others! Chiaki-chan, Akane-chan, Mikan-chan, Sonia-chan—and did you know?! Hiyoko-chan’s gonna take pictures!”

...that’s good.

“Oh, and Nekomaru-chan juuuuust for Yasuke-chan!” she added, giving him a wink. “Everyone else already brought these fireworks in, so we’ll leave the rest to you! It’s Ibuki yukata time!”

“I suppose everyone else will be wearing yukatas as well?” Komaeda asked, to which she gleefully nodded.

“Yep! Sonia-chan’s gonna wear what she calls a Japanese yukata! So will Nekomaru-chan! Just for Yasuke-chan!”

“Great,” Matsuda griped, unenthusiastic. “What about us?”

“You want to wear yukatas too?!” Mioda yelped. “Unexpected! Aren’t the protagonists supposed to be the normies?! Or—wait! You want to see Nagito-chan in a yukata too, don’t you?! Sly dog! I should’ve known with my Ibuki sense!”

“W-What’s that mean?!” Hinata stammered. “I-I mean... Komaeda...!”

Komaeda blinked twice. His head tilted.

“I guess you’ll change into a yukata, too,” Matsuda told him. “I’ll look for some earplugs. Hinata will handle the boxes.”

“Wait why did I suddenly get saddled with all the work?! If Nidai’s here, he should help, too!”

“Nekomaru-chan helped during the day, Hajime-chan!” Mioda tutted. “Now, it’s your turn! Yasuke-chan has already asserted his dominance as top antenna!”

“What does that even mean?!” Hinata cried.

“Good luck, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda exclaimed. “Work your hardest so that your hope can shine your brightest! Oh, but, Matsuda-kun, please don’t feel obligated to...”

Aaaand Matsuda was already making his way down the aisle. No longer listening. A man single-focused on his mission. Mioda saluted him before marching on her merry way. Komaeda, too, left to go obediently change. Hinata, left alone, could only sigh.

Resigned to his fate, he began to move the boxes with only a mild grumble.

(Thankfully, once he found some earplugs, Matsuda did go back to help. He wasn’t that heartless.)

Thus, the night ended with a climactic series of colorful explosions in the starlit sky. Nidai whooped, Mioda cheered, and Sonia chattered excitedly.

Another burst. Nidai whooped again. Tsumiki was stammering in delight. Owari was happy, too.

The only one who wasn’t was...

“Pffft, so fucking lame,” Saionji muttered, but she snapped away with her camera. “It’s just because Mahiru-nee would’ve taken these pics...”

“The Ultimates are more radiant than any blossoming firework!” Komaeda exclaimed, voice uncomfortably loud as he likely couldn’t hear himself with the earplugs. “How wonderful! Sublime! Vibrant!”

Matsuda gave him a thumbs-up before gritting his teeth and adjusting the other’s yukata lest it be too revealing for this rather chilly evening.

Nidai whooped again, much to Nanami’s apparent confusion.

“Nidai-kun...keeps doing that...”

“It’s because when fireworks go up, you...whoop,” Hinata explained. He was looking away quite pointedly from a giggling Komaeda, his ears almost as red as a firework that just dyed the sky. Another whoop from Nidai as Nanami let out a curious hum.

“Girl power!” Sonia exclaimed.

“G-Go...burst...” Tsumiki stammered.

“Oh god, you two are so laaaaame,” Saionji groaned, to Tsumiki’s despair.

“E-Eep! I’m so sorry!”

“Oh! That’s a better face!” Saionji snapped with more enthusiasm. “Bwahaha! Pathetic weeping suits you waaaay more!”

“...Hiyoko-chan’s having a great time!” Mioda shouted. “Wahoo! Ibuki’s decisive victory!”

“W-What the hell are you talking about?!” the dancer shrieked.

“Lit ‘em up, Hajime-chan!” Mioda yelled, whooping with Nidai. “Do it, just DO IT!!”

“Got it, got it,” Hinata sighed, doing as he was told.

“After that one, we’ll trade off!” Nidai laughed. “You gotta enjoy these fireworks TOO, ya know!!”

Hinata did smile back, even warmer under another burst of color above.

“So lovely,” Komaeda cooed, and Matsuda didn’t care to ask if he specifically meant the fireworks.

Regarding everyone’s bright faces, made brighter by the fireworks, nothing else...really mattered.

The scent of summer enveloping the night. Goldfish fireworks trickling down, falling in drops,

Matsuda thought, remembering a song.

With eyes dazzled by the light, your gentle face was reflected for an instant.

When everyone parted, it was with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. One could even think it contentment if not for the erratic stumbling of a few stray thoughts.

#yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #ibuki mioda #mioda ibuki #sdr2 #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #Magi fics #some pairing references involving matsun and some boys #gay #Protag Matsun

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some-dr-writings · 3 years

Text

Ibuki x Reader one-shot: Labels

You were rather excited, it was your partner’s birthday tomorrow, you weren’t exactly sure you’d be able to get to sleep. Huh, you did it again. ‘partner’. You and labels have always had a strange relationship. Your mind just always automatically used gender neutral ones. But you knew the importance of those, using the correct ones could make people happy and some heavily tied their identity to their labels so you had been trying to get into the habit of using gendered pronouns after getting together with Ibuki. You never though too much about this before, just going about your life, but you wanted to be the best partner you could be! You didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but especially not Ibuki. With that thought in mind you tried getting to sleep.

Then you heard a knocking at your door. “Huh?” Well… this certainly terrified you. You sat frozen in your bed till you heard that familiar voice calling out to you, instantly giving ease to your racing heart. “Hey, Ib-AH!” The moment you opened the door Ibuki had tackled you to the ground, hugging you tightly. “WAH WHOOOO! Let’s get this party started!” “…Okay, but it’s late.” “No, it’s midnight, and You-” She poked your nose emphasizing the word. “-promised you’d spend the whole day with Ibuki as your present.” “It’s midnight already? But I haven’t slept a wink… wait or did I, because I thought I just got into bed, or did I just go to be really late?” Ibuki couldn’t help but laugh, hugging you even tighter. You always had the funniest face when you overthought things, trying to puzzle them out only to make yourself more confused. It was so cute and silly. “No need to overthink, you’re awake now!” “… True, I guess the ‘how’ doesn’t really matter in this situation.” “Yeah! So let’s get ready!” It was only then you had noticed the large bag Ibuki had carried in. It must be haircare supplies and such.

The next several hours were filled with laughter and merriment as the pair of you gave one another the most loud and ridiculous of hair styles without a care in the world. Hair spray was used so much, likely the air in the bathroom had become unhealthy to breath anymore. So many hairclips were strewn about and so much hair dye was used, the whole bathroom was a complete mess. Amongst the chaos you did notice something though. Much of Ibuki’s hair supplies were ‘feminine’ while your bathroom supplies were a mix of both ‘male’ and ‘female’. You always found gendered stuff weird in general. Why was that? Like, guys can want to smell like flowers and girls can want to have supplies that are cheep and not skyrocketed in price simply because it was for ‘women’. Wouldn’t people make more money if they didn’t build these nonexistent barriers since you’d have a much bigger market? Well, things being gendered never stopped you before, you had gotten both ‘men’s’ and ‘women’s’ bodywash, so it wasn’t exclusive to one sex or gender, but… that is a weird concept, right? This wasn’t just a concept that bugged you, right? You weren’t the only person who found many things even colors to be needlessly gendered… right?

Then your thoughts were cutoff hearing a giggle that quickly boomed out into full laughter. “Hey, Y/N, what’re you thinking about?” “Ah! S-sorry, it’s nothing. Just getting lost in thought, going in circles, and overthinking again.” “Hmmmmmm.” Ibuki leaned in and only stopped till the tips of your noses were touching. Was she studying you, to get a read on your expression? “Okay!” Then she leaned back, smiling as always. “But speak out loud next time! I love hearing your logic go on and on and on and on. It’s fun trying to keep up!” “Ah, well, I suppose I’ll try.” You sheepishly chuckled, a blush spread across your cheeks that unfortunately was not of the powdered kind. Maybe you could put on foundation? But that wouldn’t do a thing to the heat you felt building up in your face. Instead you tried splashing your face with cold water, hoping that’d cool you off… But your blush only kept darkening as Ibuki cooed over it and how cute you were. How was Ibuki able to fluster you so easily you wondered.

As you pondered over that Ibuki simply laid beside you on her stomach, her chin resting in her hands as she happily watched you think and embarrass yourself even more. Moments like these when you were in your head were the best, she could just watch you for hours. You spoke with your hands and expressions. Your face always shifted, and you always moved your hands, it looked like you were talking with another person in front of you, you just didn’t move your mouth. You would sort of hum the words though or make little noises like a grunt or squeak. So often you got stuck in your head, that was partially why Ibuki first befriended you, she wanted to know what was going on in that head of yours and wanted to get you to let loose, do stuff and not hold yourself back as you’d on occasion complain to others about. At first, she just wanted to help, but wound up falling for you instead, but who better to help than your partner so it worked out, and you were fun. It became a sort of game for Ibuki to mimic your actions while waiting for you to stop thinking. She’d only interrupt your thought if you got caught in an endless loop, but… she could tell this time you would come to a conclusion… “right… about… NOW!” You smirked with your eyes closed, looking rather proud of yourself. “Heh, there’s just too many reasons to count.” “YES! Ibuki wins again!” “Huh? Win what?” “Our game!” “Our game?” “Now that the game’s over let’s… Oh, I know! Let’s go back to styling hair!” She then kissed your cheek making your blush flair up again. “D-damn it, Ibuki.” You smiled, covering your cheeks with your hands. “I guess that’s another reason, kisses.”

It took some time to clean the bathroom since it was a complete mess, but when with Ibuki, anything could be fun and entertaining. You ended up doing some impromptu karaoke with a hair brush and comb as microphones, and the counter as drums, and other items as makeshift instruments… and in the process you made an even bigger mess, knocking over items without a care, too engrossed in the nonsensical lyrics the pair of you were making up on the spot, trying to build off the last words the other sung. “Okay, we should really clean up now.” “Oooor, we could make another song!” “… One more, then we should nap so we don’t sleep through the day. We still have your birthday to celebrate after all!” “Yeah!” Once more turned to twice then thrice. By the time you actually started cleaning, unbeknownst to either of you, the sun was beginning to raise.

As tired as you felt, your eyes threatening to close you needed to stay awake. “Here, I’ll make some coffee. You want some?” “No thank you!” “So what do you want to do? Go out for breakfast or stay in for now? We could go to your place to get dressed since I don’t think you brought anything with you.” “Hey, Ibuki’s going to look through your closet, okay? You have the best clothes!” “Huh? Sure, try on whatever catches your fancy.” Normally you didn’t like people messing with your clothes, but you knew how seriously Ibuki took fashion and looks in general since it was a very important and fun method for expression, so you trusted nothing would get damaged or something. You were also more than a bit giddy at the prospect of Ibuki liking and wearing one of your outfits. You did have a lot considering you were the Super High School Level Party Planner, you had to be ready for any event, from a funeral to some hamsters’ wedding anniversary to a punk themed Christmas gathering. Truthfully three fourths of your room was a walk-in-closet and the rest was filled to the brim with binders full of contacts such as band managers, locations, caterers, florists, and many, MANY more.

As Ibuki happily wandered around, taking a closer look at whatever took her fancy you noticed something. You had skirts, dresses, shirts, suits, kilts and clothing of all sorts. You had both ‘male’ and ‘female’ clothing, and some people might consider gender neutral like t-shirts, tank tops and jeans. You didn’t seem to lean toward one style or the other. So then why did you choose one gendered clothing over the other? Was it just your mood, or were there times where a suit just felt more suitable than a dress, despite both working just fine?

Huh…

Or…

What were you?

You… you never actually thought about that before. You just went about life not caring or thinking about it. You just liked what you liked and that was it. Yeah you were born one sex, but that never deterred you from getting men’s body spray or women’s deodorant. You just didn’t care. You never thought about placing a label on yourself. Were you a boy or a girl? Boys could wear dresses just fine and the same went for girls and suits so… Maybe you were gender fluid? But… what felt girl and what felt boy? Was there some other label? But there was just the gradient between boy and girl, right? Well, there is ‘they and them’ but was that a separate category or was it in between the two on the gradient? But if you were something else what did THAT feel like? You weren’t particularly attached to… anything that had to do with gender stuff, you just did whatever you wanted so what did that mean. Were you anything at all? You then noticed how… just about everyone was very attached to their gender, but you weren’t. Was it bad that you didn’t care about your identity in that aspect? You could still do your work, you could still help others make the best events they could and you could still do your best, your gender had nothing to do with that, so it was alright? Right? Or SHOULD your gender be tied to all that… But… How? How would or could one do that? Maybe something like Gonta being a gentleman? But you’d seen plenty of very, extremely charming women be gentleman so that couldn’t be. Something like Sonia and being a princess?

“Y/N!” “Huh!?” “You better watch it! You almost burnt your hand!” Ibuki was holding the hot mug as far away from you as was possible. “Sorry. I just got lost and started overthinking again.” “Yeah, Ibuki was watching. You were really getting into it. You even knocked over some binders.” She pointed to said binders that were now sprawled across the floor. “Ah… I see.” “So, what were you thinking about?” “Well…” You noticed Ibuki was wearing a white blazer, the button up vest, half red, half blue with a black button up shirt and a long skirt. Both male and female. “Ibuki, what do you see me as?” “I see you as Y/N.” “No. No, I mean, do you see me as a guy or a girl.” “… I don’t know. You’re just Y/N. And Y/N is… an awesome partier! Sometimes they’re girlish, sometimes they are boyish, but Y/N is just Y/N. Just like how Ibuki is Ibuki. Just neither.” “Hmm, not a boy or a girl… just me…” “My turn! What do you see me as?” “My partner, the best musician I’ve ever worked with, an amazing rock-… I did it again, calling you my partner instead of girlfriend.” “Eh, Ibuki doesn’t mind. Ibuki is Ibuku, and Y/N is Y/N. There’s nothing else to it. If you or I are nonbinary, we’re nonbinary. If we’re not, we’re not and that’s that!” “I’m just me…” You kneeled down, picking up the fallen over binders… “I rather like that sentiment.” “YES! Ibuki got Y/N to blush again!” “Wait, what!?” Only now did you feel a heat raising up on your cheeks.

And so the pair of you searched through your clothes mixing and matching various pieces on a whim, not caring if the colors or designs clashed or not. The pair of you simply reveled in trying to outdo the other in making the best outfit. By the end the sun was high in the sky and you both were tired, Ibuki wound up falling asleep as you were zipping up the dress Ibuki had on. Ibuki kept mumbling something about staying awake even when asleep. “Okay tiger, we need rest.” “nnnooooooooooo.” With a yawn you dragged Ibuki into your bed. “We need sleep.” “neverrrrrrrr” You couldn’t hold in your chuckle as you tucked her… them?... them in. Just as you were going to take a step back and grabbed your phone, suddenly Ibuki clung to you, flipped over, pulling you onto the bed. “I-Ibuki?” They only clung to you tighter. You loved and hated how Ibuki could so easily make you blush. You though you’re getting flustered so easily to be ridiculous. You sighed, wrapping your arms around your partner, pulling them close, you turned on your phone, beginning to text away. Napping was certainly one way to keep Ibuki occupied for the next few hours. Perfect. You just needed to stay awake long enough to make sure everything was ready, even without coffee!

All was peaceful and quiet till suddenly to both of your surprise your phone began to blow up with notifications. “S-sorry, sorry!” You scrambled off your bed and shut yourself in the bathroom. Soon you were muttering swears under your breath. Sonia and Chiaki were doing their best to take control of the mess, Nekomaru and Akane were doing their best to re-get the destroyed supplies, Kazuichi was trying to repair the blown up kitchen with broken tools, Teru was trying to keep cooking via campfire, Mahiru was documenting and sending photos of the whole mess so you could get a better look at the situation, Nagito was being Nagito, Mikan was desperately trying to fix everyone’s injuries, Imposter was impersonating you looking through your many back up plans trying to follow them to a T with Fuyuhiko, Peko, and Hajime assisting them, and Hiyoko was just crying in the corner. This… was certainly a fine mess indeed! You slammed your head into a wall a few times, wishing you could just go and take control yourself, but you wouldn’t dare to leave Ibuki for too long so you instead sent everyone a flurry of texts explaining how to fix this whole mess in time for dinner. Of which they better because you certainly were not going to let ANY party let alone one for your partner fail and blow up!... literally! You would have questioned how this happened, but Nagito was around, and if he truly wanted a nice birthday party for Ibuki, which you knew he did, things would work out better than you could have dreamed. Which was your plan in the first place, but if he knew that was your plan it was entirely possible that luck wouldn’t kick in so you had to lie, but it was fine, not like anyone would find out anyway, and you were the Super High School Level Party Planner, you would use any tools at your disposal, even luck to create the best parties you could!

Exiting out of the bathroom you sighed, stuffing your phone into your pocket. “Sorry about that. Some things went array and the people I had commissioned work from began to panic as well as my clients. Everything’s all sorted now though!” “So you’re not busy?” “Not anymore!” “Perfect! Let’s go for a walk then, I can’t keep still!”

With the sun setting, not another soul around and just seeing Ibuki excitedly running to her heart’s content… You felt at peace… Actually, now would be a fantastic time to propose-WAIT WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING!? You slapped your cheeks, trying to get yourself to think of anything else, l-like how you were annoyed you were blushing right now!... Perhaps you had worked on one too many events where a proposal had happened. It was much too soon to be thinking such thoughts anyway. “What are you thi-” “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!” Ibuki simply laughed with a smile, and you realized you had curled up into a ball, burying your red face into your hands. Why oh why were you like this you wondered. “You just caught me off guard. I… I-I was just thinking of a future party to plan and work on, and… I started embarrassing myself.” Yeah… far, FAR in the future.

Then your phone notification went off again. You quickly checked it and smiled. “Seems everything worked out. Now I can just dedicate my everything to you! Let’s keep walking.” Ibuki simply took your hand and dragged you along… HOW WAS THIS MAKING YOU BLUSH MORE THAN THINKING ABOUT PROPOSING TO THIS WONDERFUL PERSON!?

“Hey, there’s a park over there. Why don’t we take a detour through?” “Ooh, Ibuki likes that idea!” It was all simply gorgeous. You had held events here before so you already knew where to go, and knowing Nagito’s luck, you probably got the venue for free which would be unheard of for such an expensive place, but that luck could pull miracles when needed. “Hey, Y/N! Look at that place! Looks like it’d have good acoustics.” Huh, so they already spotted it. “I’ve had bands perform here before, but I’m no music expert. May I ask for your skill to help me find the best spot to place a band there? It doesn’t look like anyone is using the space right now, so we can sneak in.” You and Ibuki smirked to one another before making a mad dash for the building. Then as Ibuki shoved the doors open the building burst to life, colorful lights flipping on, party poppers going off, and everyone clamoring around the door saying “Happy Birthday!” The best part of it all through was seeing the delight in Ibuki, how they leapt onto the set-up stage and played away, everyone partying all night to rock. You noticed how everyone’s outfits perfectly reflected themselves, and how only you and Ibuki were wearing a mix of feminine and masculine. Outfits that just reflected yourself, not exactly either… You were going to marry Ibuki one day, you just wanted to get into a stable place in life so you-

…

And there was that beautiful laughter which melted your heart each and every time. They were right. You could think on that later, for now, to simply live in the moment.

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