It’s so easy to get into the mindset of never caring in the sense that you don’t care if you eat, you don’t care if you feel well, you don’t care that you’re not happy, you don’t care that you’re angry or that you’re upset, you don’t care enough about yourself.

But to care is to live just a little better.

So Todd in the Shadows made a video about James Somerton

On Saturday mornings I walk down to the French-country-style bakery in my neighborhood and buy a ridiculously huge pastry to eat with my coffee or Matcha latte. I've just recently learned how to make a proper Matcha latte and am waiting for a solid POUND of that sweet, sweet green leaf powder to be delivered to my house like a junkie who's figured out how to Doordash cocaine.

Today, I will finish a chapter of The Dragon Prince's Consort and then I will probably make some soup. It's supposed to rain later, so I'll probably bring all my stuff to the porch and spend the remainder of the daylight out there, watching the rain and looking at my 387 lilies. I haven't actually counted them but it's a lot.

It's been 20 years since I seriously thought about ending myself. Things have gotten a lot better. I didn't count on AI and a few other alarming and upsetting things, but I'm still here to plant flowers and eat carbs.

omfg i could fucking bawl my eyes out rn-

my coworkers put happy birthday bunting and balloons on my locker and they all signed a card and i feel so loved by so many people that have no reason to care for me yet they do and even people i thought didnt like me signed that card

sometimes i feel blessed, not in a religious way, but in the sense that it's so wonderful to be able to wake up in the morning, to have a hot cup of coffee, to hear the pouring rain and wearing a warm coat. to be able to play with my cat, to hear her purr, even to be scratched by her sometimes. i definitely feel blessed for this. for being able to listen to my favorite music, to discover new songs, and for connecting with melodies and poetry. for being able to fall in love, for being able to receive affection and to give all the love that fills me. i feel blessed.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

So, I've been volunteering for this flat where female refugees can apply to live and where they are assisted with their integration into Germany. And now I'm being offered a seminar that I can take in mid March on how to treat traumatized people.

OHMYGOD, I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!

I wonder if they'll also go into cptsd, but I'm also excited to learn more abt ptsd cos at this point, I could write an entire thesis on cptsd but I'm relatively uninformed on ptsd.

Also, in therapy, it's starting to crystalise more and more for me that after I've finished studying art, I'd like to go in direction art therapy and do some further studies in that direction. So seminars like this will give me invaluable knowledge and experience and this is gonna look bloody fantastic on my CV!

yes the war is happening yes im sickly yes i cant do a lot of things but you know what i can do? go to a vegan cafe and have my friend make me boba and pumpkin soup and pay for it with my own money that i made and then go on a nice walk through an autumn park

My Little Paws are BOOPIN

I'm so glad I have crested geckos in my life, their ridiculous faces and their sticky little feet fill me with such joy

sunday morning

I'm outside crocheting in the sun while my cat relaxes in my shadow and I think this is what life is supposed to be all about

I love to dress up, do make up, drive my car singing to songs I like, get out from the car holding my phone, keys and sunglasses in one hand, start walking along the streets confidently, feel the sunshine dancing on my skin, breathe the warm morning air and make it on time.

Touchstarved is projected to release in 2025 and there's already 150 fanfics on AO3

today my friend surprised me with a visit and some pokemon cookies and my heart is so full

I'm existing! I'm living! I'm happy!!

Saw a couple of fat little fuzzy bumblebees this morning while walking the dog. They were so cute! Aaaaaaaaa I love them!