#sometimes i think back to high school | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

femme-malewife · 1 year

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#sometimes i think back to high school #specifically when i took psychology in my freshman year of HS #when we had this self esteem booster assignment where we had to write 1 thing you like abt the person whos name is on the top of the paper #lots of people wrote things like ''youre so funny!'' or ''you're cool and i love your vibes!''#yk that kinda stuff!#counting me there was 21 students. so we had to write 20 compliments essentially #18/20 of the comments i got were ''i like your bag''#the other was smthin abt my hair and the last was my actual friends comment #needless to say i left with a worse self esteem #but like...i wonder how they're doing now??? are they making a name for themselves??#working part time? full time? attending college?#not doing anything at all?#are THEY a somewhat known blog on tumblr who gets some notes whenever they post smthin #no? i think i won this!#...no im kidding but tbh in all honesty #i really do wonder how they all are.#imean my friend from that class committed suicide a few years ago and i went to his funeral. still grieve over him .#its kinda wild tbh...#aaaa what was i even rambling abt???#well anyway.#i think im ok with being a decently known blog and someone who drops in and out of servers at random #i am called...The Deserter... (no one calls me that)#2am giggling here

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punk-pandame · 28 days

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i love being a trans dude with a gnc cis husband. sometimes we go through our clothes and swap because i express myself much more masculinely now than i used to and my husband expresses himself much more femininely now than he used to- and we don't throw clothes away unless they're unusuable, so we end up keeping a lot of old clothes. today i gave him a long blue suede vest i bought eight years ago and wore, like, twice- and he hasn't taken it off in hours. i'm at this very moment wearing a tee shirt he gave me years ago, back when we were temporarily long distance, that barely has a graphic anymore because i've worn and washed it so many times- that he gave me to begin with because it'd just been sitting at the bottom of a drawer anyway. sometimes we receive well-intentioned gifts we know we won't wear and stash them away to deal with later- only to realize it's perfect for the other. sometimes we get the honor of repurposing a garment that made one of us feel uncomfortable to affirm the other. sometimes we get to tangibly see the overlap in our superficially different styles- and how our styles have changed together over time.

turns out sometimes the solution to “i love the way this looks but not on me” is to just give it your spouse! who knew! isn't queer love beautiful?

#its time to romanticize spring cleaning and queer love again #we've been together since high school and know each others tastes like the backs of our hands #so i think sometimes we're also just drawn to certain things because they subconsciously remind us of each other's aesthetics #then end up realizing it'd be better to just give it to him than keep it and not wear it XD #its also just so fun like #i love playing dress up with my husband :3 #i love mixing up our stuff in the closet and seeing what we can swap and what should go in the sell/donate bin #sharing is caring :3

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teruel-a-witch · 1 year

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the show never gave us a high school reunion episode which is a staple of procedurals/crime dramas so I came up with one, that's why the dialogue is in script format(ish)

the body of danny's high school guidance councillor is discovered on the school grounds, all ties lead to a huge pool of potential suspects including former students and teachers and maybe even a janitor with mob ties. too many suspects with skeletons in their closets are likely to lie to the police and the case could easily go unsolved.

luckily, danny's 20 year reunion is coming up, so he is asked by the local pd to go undercover and secretly question his classmates because they are more likely to spill the secrets if they don't know they are being investigated, as people love to gossip at this kind of events.

danny initially didn't want to go to the reunion which bummed steve out because he was hoping to tag along and get some of the high school experience he had missed out on, and maybe find out some more about danny's life before they met.

steve: i don't get why you hate the idea so much.

danny: i know my wicked good looks and charming personality may lead you to believe i was popular in high school, but that was not the case. of course, you wouldn't get it, i bet you had girls fighting to the death for the pleasure of going to prom with you.

steve: *looks down* we didn't have one at the academy.

danny: right, sorry, forgot you came off the conveyor belt at the factory fully formed. most of us regular flesh and blood humans don't wish to revisit the awkward teenage years. but that's a moot point right now, i gotta help my buddie at the newark pd.

and so steve ends up tagging along. for back-up, of course.

(picture steve and danny standing in the ballroom at the reunion as danny explains to him the veritable who and who of his former classmates/suspects)

former prom queen: so where is the lovely mrs. williams?

danny: *looks at steve across the room talking to some people* he's over there. i let him keep his own name, because i'm nice like that. babe?? come over here, don't make me look like a loser who came to his high school reunion by himself.

of course, steve plays along, even tho initially danny rejected the idea of posing as a couple but he understands that being divorced already makes danny feel like a failure on his own, he doesn't want to give the former mean girls material to make fun of him some more. especially because danny has told him he had asked one of them to prom and not only did she laugh she told all of her friends and they all agreed he was punching above his weight.

truth be told steve is all too happy to escape the unwanted attention of soccer mums and some of their bi-curious husbands that were circling him like a bunch of hungry vultures. he would much rather be danny's pretend husband (if it's as close as he gets to the real thing)

everyone cooes over steve and danny, even tho danny knows most of them would not have been this progressive in the 90s, so he privately sneers at what a bunch of hypocrites they are. a part of him, however, enjoys the clear jealous looks of former beauty queens turned soccer mums and bitter divorcées, because yes, he, danny williams, can pull a gorgeous navy seal, whom all of them tried to hit on when they first came on scene, so who's punching about his weight now, brenda?

eventually, they find the information they need, as well as reveal a bunch of other unrelated secrets, and there's even an impressive suspect take-down. danny is grateful that steve helped him get through this unpleasant reunion and vows to somehow make up for one milestone steve had missed out on.

steve: ready to go home?

danny: not quite yet. the principal scheduled a do-over dance after that whole fiasco, and i wondered maybe you would like to go with me? it's not exactly prom but ...

steve: *is touched* i would be lucky to go with you.

danny: who says you are getting lucky after?

steve: *blushes* i didn't mean ...

danny: relax, who knows where the night takes us, i always wanted to make out with the quarterback under the bleachers *he winks*

steve assumed danny was joking (he wasn't) but they still spent a nice evening. they didn't have to maintain the cover anymore but neither felt like ruining the fantasy so they even slow danced to 'i'll stand by you' by the pretenders. if only had steve requested another '95 hit - bon jovi's 'always' danny would have proposed on the spot, but alas, they were still bound by restrictive tv gods.

#mcdanno #h50 headcanons #h50edit #h50 scenarios #h50 #hawaii five 0 #danny williams #steve mcgarrett #myh50 #mcdanno back to school #undercover as a couple #the fake dating trope #this is sometime s5 or 6 (2015)#i had this idea back in january oops #it started with me thinking that 3x09 scene has high school reunion vibes #gosh this took 2 hrs somehow #h50 3x09

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problemcore · 4 months

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been real cloudy here, without any rain

#halfway thru this i realized i was drawing myself and not gumi and i had to take a moment and re-gumi-fy the drawing #cant help being a gumi kinnie i guess U_U #dnoodles #vocaloid #i guess? idk i dont think a lot of people will reblog this. i actually kinda hope not.#hello dear followers #yea wow i have um. not been drawing at all lately.#not even simple doodles. i couldnt even pick up a pen.#so i sat down. turned on my favorite music. and drew what i wanted.#not what i wanted to see as the result #but what i wanted to let out of my system.#i dont really care if this looks good or bad. i dont care how messy the lines are. i dont care about the colors or the background #i just wanted to have a good time drawing again. and have a good time i did :)#i have a big drawing ahead of me i need to do. that i Want to do.#im scared of it not turning out good. especially since its for a friend. especially since im being paid for it.#but. im gonna let myself enjoy it. sink into the feeling and let the pen move on its own. indulge in the joy of creation.#i missed art. i missed posting.#sometimes i think about how i was able to crank out so many drawings in high school.#not without extreme determent to my grades of course. but still. i was drawing So Much. and i utterly loved it.#i still wish i could go back to that. perhaps i will. perhaps i wont.#but i want to let that wish go away. and. i guess. start a new chapter.#reinvent my relationship with art.#its going to be bad. its going to be messy. its going to hurt your eyes. and its going to be fun.#WOW okay that was an essay. thank you for reading.#im gonna go eat something and. actually get back to drawing. hehe

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shima-draws · 9 months

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Just got back from my friend’s wedding :’) I think it says a lot that I was the only high school friend that showed up

#TBF the others in our friend group back then live in different states now #And flying out for a wedding can be SO expensive.#But yeah idk it just meant a lot to me :’)#And my friend (the groom) was SO happy to see me. And his family was too #That made me really glad 🤧#The fact that he invited me to come at all also says a lot I think #And you know what maybe I cried on the way home in the car but that’s nobody’s business but mine!!#I’m very very happy for him. And his wife is SO sweet and so pretty #It’s just weird yk? Cause in high school I liked this guy SO much #Like I daydreamed about getting married to him some day #So seeing him marrying someone else felt very weird lol #Bittersweet mostly #Sorry this is super embarrassing LMAO but it’s not like I’m ever going to tell this to his face.#I know they’ll be very happy together and I’m so so glad he found someone that fits together with him so well #He’d better come to MY wedding tho. In the future. LOL #Shima speaks #It was a very ‘saying goodbye to your first love’ kind of thing.#Even after I confessed to him in high school (and got rejected) I never really stopped liking him #Like I just never got over it I guess. Even tho I KNEW nothing would ever come of it #Idk sometimes it’s hard to let that stuff go! It’s hard to stop liking someone after you liked them for so long and so strongly #I want to say I’m over it now but considering I was crying in my car:#Well. JFJSJMFMSMSNN #I know I don’t feel that way for him anymore like as a fact but. Idk it was weird—#Again bittersweet. I think I just needed a second to process and really let it sink in #Goodbye to my high school fantasy //waves a handkerchieff #Also MAYBE I saw them be so happy and was like. Why can’t I have that with someone. HUH #Leetle jealous. I need to find me a someone *squint emoji*#Anyway rant over wedding was good I’m just an idiot ;)

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delta-orionis · 3 months

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I think one of the reasons why I have such a hard time reading books lately (and listening to audiobooks and narrative podcasts, for that matter) is that I feel compelled to take notes on literally everything whenever I try.

I’m pretty bad with names and thus have a very hard time keeping characters straight in my head, much less locations or finer details of lore. It comes easier to me when consuming visual media (like video games or shows), but if there isn’t a visual component, everything kind of blurs together in my brain.

I don’t think I have aphantasia; I can visualize things in my head, albeit very vaguely. If a book or an audio drama gives me a detailed description of a place or a person, that image tends to vanish from my brain almost immediately and at best I only have a general idea of what they’re supposed to look like. I tend to remember faces better than names, so if there’s no visual component, characters become very hard for me to remember.

It’s not impossible; I have a pretty thorough knowledge of the characters from SOMA, for example, where almost all of the characters are introduced through text or audio logs. (Though I will admit that my knowledge mostly came from me obsessively re-watching playthroughs and video essays and reading the wiki until I felt like I sufficiently understood everything that was going on in the plot… I have a tendency to do that if a story grips me.)

I think a more successful example was from when I played Tacoma a while back, that’s a game whose plot is relayed entirely through environmental storytelling and audio logs; you never see the characters in the flesh. I knew right away I would have problems following the plot, so I grabbed a pen and paper, wrote down everyone’s names, and kept track of their relationships as I went through the story. That worked out pretty well, because Tacoma is a short game with a small cast of characters, and I was able to beat it in an afternoon. My notes all fit onto one page.

I think what I’m trying to say here is that fiction is hard for me to read because I’ll inevitably become hopelessly lost if I don’t also force myself to do homework. The last book I remember reading from start to finish was 2001: A Space Odyssey a few years ago, and I took copious notes while I did it. I’m currently stuck 3/4 of the way through the sequel, I think in part because the second book has way more characters than the first, and every time I try to pick the book back up I have to remind myself who everyone is.

I finally, finally started reading Ancillary Justice and I anticipate that this is going to be a problem. Thankfully the app I use to track books I’m reading added a feature where you can write down characters’ names and their attributes, so hopefully keeping people straight in my brain won’t be as much of an issue. I’ll see how it goes, I guess.

#long rambly post about why I think I find it hard to read books in recent times #I stopped reading fiction in high school and have had a very hard time picking it back up since then #however I am dragging myself kicking and screaming into reading books I know I will like. even if it’s extra work #idk if this is interesting or relatable at all.#my brain is weird sometimes. it makes me do weird things when I consume media #personal

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orcelito · 9 months

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hey since i have access to all my phone's photos much more easily, check out my old violin

got it from my great uncle, who said it belonged to His grandpa. so we r looking at like 4 generations up here. he gave it to me in 2010 ish bc im the only person in the family that plays violin lol. & being in middle school, i named it Star :')

it still plays well, too! not my default for when i play bc i use my newer violin for that. but i still value her greatly

#speculation nation #ive posted these pics here but not in a whiiiiiiile. like over 2 years i think #which Oh Yeah i play violin. well. not so much these days. but i used to play for like 8 years #im just bad at sticking to it outside of the structure of being in an orchestra :p #but sometimes i pick it up again. i still can play. im just very out of practice lol #my left wrist has unfortunately lost a lot of its flexibility #cant turn it as far as i need to for easy playing. i need to get back into practice for that skjdflskdj #once upon a time tho i was 4th chair in the advanced orchestra of my high school #so In Theory i was the 4th best violinist out of 3 orchestras in a school of like 2k kids #i used to be Pretty Damn Good honestly. ive got great finger dexterity. unfortunately i mostly use it for video games these days #someday i do wanna join a community orchestra or something. someday...#anywys look at my violin. aint she pretty? i own an electric violin too. 3 violins. they mostly sit in a big chest sldkfjsldfj #safe and sound from the nightmare kitties

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theikusabastash · 10 months

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nmm

sighs dreamily,,,,kirukiyo