#something something all Kevin can see in the mirror is his mother. he’s a walking monument to her legacy. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jhilsara · 2 years

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IWGHFC Pt. 2

I Wanna Go Home For Christmas

Kevin hates everything about winter.

It's cold, it's wet, it's gray, and it's lonely.

The silence that happens on winter nights chills him more than the temperature ever could.

Kevin can't remember the last time he enjoyed any winter activity and he hasn't seen his family for the holidays in the past 5 years. He's more than fine with that.

Except his best friend Ben Tennyson refuses to leave him alone for Christmas.

Cross posted on AO3 X

Part 1 X

A no powers AU set where Kevin meets Ben and Gwen later in life.

Dec. 24th

When Kevin wakes up the next morning Ben is already gone and he hears mumbled voices outside the door.

He grabs for his phone to check the time and rolls off the trundle. He tries to stretch the stiffness out from his back. The trundle has a lack of support. He’s not complaining though. It’s a free bed and he’s slept on much worse.

Kevin looks over to his bags and grabs his bathroom supplies. Mostly just his toothbrush and toothpaste and bodywash.

He opens the door and sees Gwen standing outside her door in a hushed argument with her mother.

“I’ve told you, I have a strict no shopping on Christmas Eve policy. No exceptions.” She tells her mother sternly.

Her mom rolls her eyes and looks at Gwen in mild irritation.

“All you’re going to do today is watch the same movies with Ben!” she says exasperated.

Gwen smiles, “Yes because that is our tradition. Yours is shopping, mine is hanging out with the only cousin I can stomach to be around for more than a couple of hours.” Gwen gives her mom a tight smile.

Her mom just sighs in defeat, “I think I miss when you hated him. You used to love shopping with me and your aunt Sandra.”

Gwen leans on the doorway with her arms crossed, “Yeah well, if it makes you feel any better I always hated shopping on Christmas Eve. I just wanted to get away from Ben for a day.”

Her mom huffs amused before turning away, “That checks out. Call me if you remember you need something.” She gives a wave before walking downstairs.

Kevin sees her shoulders drop and hears her heavy sigh. She’s rubbing her temples.

“Mornin’.” He says gruffly as he walks by her to get to the bathroom.

“Good morning Kevin.” She replies softly.

“Oh! Wait-” she almost shouts and turns back around into her room.

He turns and waits for her. Gwen comes rushing around the corner of the door with clothes in her hand and shoves them at him. He stumbles for a second and just looks down at the festive themed outfit she’s thrown at him.

“Ummm?” he looks down at the clothes in confusion.

“Ben and I every year spend Christmas Eve on the couch in Christmas pjs and marathon all our favorite movies.” She starts to explain.

“I uh, I raided Grandpa Max’s collection and found some that I thought would fit you. So, you could join us.” Her face is flushing and Kevin briefly thinks it’s cute.

“You want me to join you guys? You sure? I really don’t watch holiday movies. I probably haven’t seen most of them.” He tells her honestly.

Gwen gasps in an over exaggerated fashion, “That’s blasphemous in this house. Go change we have to educate you on the proper Christmas special!” She starts shoving him toward the bathroom.

“I’ll see you downstairs!” She tells him before bounding off back to her room.

Kevin stands in the bathroom in shock for a second before a soft smile lands on his face.

He’s excited. He can't remember the last time he was excited on Christmas Eve.

Kevin stares at himself in the mirror before going downstairs. The pants fit perfectly fine, if not slightly roomy. They’re bright red with little candy cane prints all over the legs.

The shirt also fits him well, he fills it out mostly. It’s a long-sleeved shirt with an ugly sweater design printed on it. He looks at himself and gives a small chuckle before he throws his long dark hair up into a ponytail.

He’s ready for his first Tennyson Christmas Movie Marathon. Kevin snorts to himself in amusement thinking about how he ended up in such a festive home at 23 and not on the street.

Kevin walks into the living room and sees Ben in his bright green elf themed pajamas with a matching hat and immediately lets out a loud bark of laughter.

“Didn’t know you were actually an elf Tennyson!” he smirks at him.

Ben is getting himself situated in a lounge chair with pillows and blankets and snaps his head up at Kevin and gives a glare.

“Watch it Levin or I’ll tell Santa you deserve a big lump of coal.” Ben bites back jokingly.

Gwen comes around the corner with a bowl of popcorn, some candy bags, and bottles of water.

Her pajama pants have Christmas lights wrapping around and around the legs. Her sweater is Santa themed and jolly mans face takes up the majority of the shirt.

“Okay boys, we have one mission as young adults today.” Gwen announces seriously and puts her hands on her hips.

Ben is snuggled in his blanket looking up at Gwen with rapt attention. Kevin is just amused as he sits on the couch.

“We eat, we nap, maybe drink a little, but most of all boys…” she paused for dramatic effect, “We do not leave this couch.”

She plops down next to Kevin and throws two blankets on top of herself and him and digs for the remote.

“Rock, paper, scissors for first movie?” Ben asks.

Gwen grins, “You’re on.”

Ben wins the first round and demands Home Alone. Gwen nods in agreement. She presses play on the movie and makes sure to turn the overhead lights off. All Kevin can see is the twinkling lights from the Christmas tree in the corner, the television rolling the opening of the movie, and Gwen snuggling into the blankets next to him.

He relaxes into the comfortable couch and easily starts watching the movie.

Three movies in and Ben has moved onto eating anything in sight and has started to put on these Christmas claymation movies that give Kevin the creeps. Gwen on the other hand has dozed off already. She’s leaning on Kevin like he’s a pillow and he will not move. The room could be on fire and he wouldn’t move if it meant disturbing her rest.

She looks so content.

Ben throws a pillow at him and knocks him back into reality.

Kevin whips his head to Ben, “What the hell Tennyson?”

Ben is giving a questioning look. “Dude don’t you pass out too. I asked if you wanted to make a pizza.”

Any anger leaves his body. “Oh, uh sure yeah.”

Ben nods in agreement and starts to wiggle his way out of his multiple blankets and goes into the kitchen.

Kevin doesn’t remember the last time he spent a day doing absolutely nothing.

He’s comfortable and warm under the blankets with the pressure from Gwen’s body on his side. He’s felt his eyes grow heavy and he’s definitely dozed off at one point during Elf.

When he finally wakes up Gwen and Ben are folding blankets and stretching from their day of living on the couch. Kevin turns to see its dark outside and can hear people walking around the kitchen.

Gwen smiles brightly at him and sits back down laying her legs over his lap.

“So how did you enjoy the movie marathon?” she asks.

He lets out a yawn and grins back, “It was great. Except the claymation… that was weird.” He grimaces at that.

He feels Ben slide on the other side of the couch and shoves his shoulder.

“Those are classics Kevin!” He huffs out. “Not my fault you don’t have taste.”

Gwen snorts at that, “No he’s right on that one Ben. Those things aren’t natural.”

Ben guffaws at this before sending Gwen a glare, “Traitor.” He hisses out at her.

Gwen just rolls her eyes and kicks Ben with her foot.

“What time is it?” Kevin asks.

“Like, almost six? It’s not super late. Dinners almost ready though. I’m starving.” Ben says.

“You’ve done nothing but eat all day Ben. How are you starving?” Gwen asks him.

Ben just grins patting his stomach, “You’ve known me for 22 years Gwen. You should know I’m nothing but a bottomless pit.”

Gwen kicks Ben, much harder this time, “I know you’re a doofus supreme.”

“Um that’s Doofus Supreme Court Jester to you.” Ben says in all seriousness.

“Yea yea. I’m going to go shower and change before dinner. I feel gross after lounging all day.” Gwen rolls her legs off Kevin’s lap and heads for upstairs.

Kevin watches her go and he can feel Ben’s eyes bore into him.

“Sooooo. Are you having fun Kev?” He asks him.

Kevin turns back to Ben and shoves him lightly trying to hide his grin.

“This isn’t totally awful Tennyson…Thanks for inviting me.”

Kevin can’t sleep tonight. Just like the one before, Ben’s snores keep him awake but it’s also his anxiety. As nice as the day was, Kevin can’t help but feel like an outsider intruding on their family. The Tennyson’s are so different from him. They get along, as much as any family can to be fair, but they try to. They cook together, they divide into their own small groups and do their own traditions.

Sandra and Natalie came back with bags upon bags of what Kevin knows will be gifts under the tree in the morning.

Carl, Max, and Frank came back with great fish that they grilled for dinner that night. They had spent the whole day on the boat just fishing together.

Gwen and Ben clearly have their own traditions that they invited Kevin to join in.

They have a routine. They look forward to the routine, the mundanity of it.

Kevin’s never had that. Every year’s been different. He’s spent Christmas on the cold streets, he’s spent in inside bars when he was too young to be in them, hell, he’s even spent it drugged out on the curb in Miami once. That was a bad year, he doesn’t remember much of that year. He knows the court put him in a rehab facility when they caught his juvenile ass.

He’s never known peace like the Tennyson’s have.

He’s jealous honestly. That’s the awful feeling he has in his stomach.

He’s grateful they’ve invited him and he’s learned to not self-sabotage himself but he’s twitching to just grab his bag and leave.

Kevin finally just rolls out of the trundle and goes downstairs.

He rummages around in the kitchen and grabs a few supplies he knows he can use. When he feels like things are out of his control he’s learned to redirect his energy into something productive. For him it’s baking. He knows this recipe by heart and knows that it will make him feel something besides the ever-growing sadness in his heart.

He’s making the Levin family banana bread recipe. It makes him feel like he was eight with his mom in the kitchen of their tiny apartment. It was always his favorite. Not too sweet and just enough cinnamon to warm you from the inside out.

He’s making it for himself, but also as the only gift he can give the Tennyson’s for their generosity. He didn’t bring gifts, he wouldn’t even know where to start to begin with. Baking is something he can do. He knows he’s good at it. Food is always a good gift.

Kevin preheats the oven and tries to quietly grab all the things he needs.

Surprisingly the Tennyson’s do have some bananas that fit the criteria he needs to make the bread. He was hopeful they would but he had a back up cookie recipe if not.

He starts looking for the supplies he needs but takes a while navigating a kitchen that isn’t his.

He’s so wrapped up he doesn’t notice someone has entered the kitchen.

“You know if you stay up too late Santa won’t come.” Her gentle voice breaks through his silence.

Kevin jumps and almost drops the flour. He whips his head around to see Gwen snickering and failing to hold in her laughter.

“Do you always sneak around at night or is it just fun to scare the shit outta me?” Kevin says after his heart stops racing.

Gwen leans on the counter and at least looks a little guilty, “Sorry sorry. It’s hard for me to fall asleep in this house. I’m usually the only one who’s walking around at night. To be fair I’m surprised to see you rumbling around the kitchen.”

He shrugs, “I wanted to bake. Is there a problem with that?” he’s voice has more of a bite to it than he wants to give.

She shakes her head, “No I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought you’d be outside again or asleep.”

He nods his head in understanding. His back is turned to Gwen as he rummages around for sugar.

“Here let me help.” She says and opens a cabinet on the opposite side of the counter and pulls out sugar and a few other basic ingredients.

“Thanks. I feel weird diggin’ around their kitchen. But I don’t know where they keep anything.” He says.

She laughs lightly, “Isn’t it like that in everyone’s kitchen? What else do you need?” She asks him ready to help. She’s even rolled her sleeves up.

Kevin smirks at her and lists off all the supplies he needs.

They work side by side in the kitchen. He tells her to measure something or to mix while he butters the pan. The ease of moving around each other or picking up where the other left off feels peaceful. It’s around two in the morning when Kevin finishes the bread mix and sets it in the oven to bake.

Gwen starts to clean the dishes as they go and placing them back in their original spots in the cabinets. He stands next to her rinsing them in the sink while she dries.

“So why did you decide to make banana bread in the middle of the night?” she asks him, wiping down the mixing bowl.

“Well, I didn’t bring any presents. Wanted to say thanks is all.” Kevin mutters gruffly.

She nods her head. “Okay, but why in the middle of the night?” she presses.

Kevin sighs, “I couldn’t sleep. Baking gives me something to do with my hands that isn’t destructive.”

She gives him a thoughtful look before continuing, “Are you always destructive when you’re anxious?”

He shakes his head, “I used to be. Didn’t know where the anxiety came from. Would lash out a lot as a kid.” He gestures to his head, “Overstimulated.”

He feels her pause and the air between them shift.

“Ben said you didn’t spend the holidays with your family. Can I ask why?” she turns to look at him.

Kevin doesn’t meet her eyes. He hands her the last dish to dry. He’s gripping the edge of the sink tightly.

“It’s nothin’ important. We just don’t get along. Never really have.” He shrugs and tries to drop the conversation.

“It is important.” She whispers.

Kevin whips his head up and see her bright green eyes staring him down.

“What?”

“It is important. I don’t know what the reason is, why you don’t see your family, but if it makes you upset it’s important.” She says clearly.

He doesn’t know what to do with Gwen. He’s used to Ben’s unwavering optimism but Gwen is a different being. The Tennyson’s are stubborn and overwhelmingly hopeful.

“Sure.” His tone says he doesn’t believe her and she knows.

He turns to check the timer on the bread, just to do something, avoid her intense gaze. It's like she's looking into his soul, breaking him apart until he tells her his whole sob story. He doesn't like feeling that split open.

She places her hand gently on his back, it feels so small against his broad shoulders.

“I mean it. You don’t have to tell me why, but I meant what I said. How you feel matters Kevin.” She tells him gently.

He feels himself tense up. He can’t do this. His eyes are frantically looking anywhere but at Gwen. The timer on his phone tells him there’s plenty of time before his bread is done.

He shrugs her off and reaches for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and goes outside.

Tennyson’s are too nice for their own good.

Gwen doesn’t follow him. By the time his phone buzzes she’s already gone from the kitchen. He pulls the bread out and set’s it aside to cool before he wraps it up for tomorrow.

Kevin runs his hands down his face and scrubs at his eyes.

He looks at the banana bread and any warm comfort it gave him is gone now. It’s replaced by the storm brewing in his gut from avoiding his family. Or did they exile him? He can’t remember anymore.

Between the years of loneliness, underaged drinking, and drug abuse… he barely remembers his late teens.

He sighs and looks for some tinfoil. It’s in the middle of the counter with a sticky note on top.

I’m sorry. I know I can be nosy sometimes.

I’m glad you’re here with us.

P.S. Don’t forget to leave some of the sweets for Santa : )

He lets out a huff of a laugh and pockets the sticky note.

“Tennyson’s…” he says fondly to himself.

#gwevin #ben 10 #ben 10 fanfiction #gwen tennyson #kevin levin #ben tennyson #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 omniverse

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hereforhalstead · 3 years

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Ambo 61

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

• Requested: “I’ve missed being like this with you”

• Warnings: mention of fire/fatality/needles

• Summary: You’re instructed to contact Jay to assist with a fire you’ve been called to and he’s there to support you after dealing with your first faitality.

• Words: 3978

• A/N : Thanks so much for this request! I’m not over struck with it and it’s quite short but wanted to get it posted - hope you enjoy xx

***

Tonight was your third night shift in a row at the firehouse, starting to take its toll as you slumped around looking for any excuse to take the weight off your feet just for a few moments.

You were grateful Severide had got you the job as paramedic alongside Brett but you were now feeling like you’d been hit by a truck with all of these night shifts.

The firehouse was a close unit, everyone had each other’s back and looked out for one another. This always helped with your down days but everyone hits their breaking points and sometimes the adrenaline rush was the only thing keeping you going.

What made it worse was seeing everyone else seeming to be having the time of their lives, throwing a ball around by the trucks but you slouched in Severide’s chair with your feet kicked up on the table in front of you.

Eyes just about coming to a close as you hear that dreaded alarm which sends everyone running ‘Truck 51. Squad 3. Ambo 61 fire reported on the corner of 8th street” no matter how drained you were it was always able to put that spring in your step and you were in the ambo and out the door in seconds.

You could hear the sirens following closely behind you, scanning your wing mirror to see the parade of flashing lights that tailed down the street and towards the fire.

“You good?” Sylvie asks, snapping you out of your thoughts “night shifts taking their toll, nothing unusual” you joked but she still mirrored the look of concern on her face with her furrowed brows and occasional glare at you as she drove.

“Really I’m fine. Just looking forward to being in my own bed” you gazed out in front of you as you continued on towards the scene “Not long girl, only a few hours to go” she gives you her doting smile as she slams her foot down on the peddle to speed through an intersection

“everything alright with you and Jay?” She asks and you shrug “only see him for a few hours these days and even then it’s mostly when he’s asleep and I’m sat on the sofa wide awake” you admit, letting the words fall out of your mouth before you can even think about it.

“He’s so proud of you though” her cheery voice changes the tone of conversation “I always hear him brag about you in Molly’s, you’ve got yourself a good’un there Y/N” you feel the heat rise to your cheeks and smile creep on your face “i just miss him” you huff and reach for the energy drink that was by your side.

“I thought Jay told you to not drink those anymore” she utters as the truck comes to a stop, making her way to your side after grabbing the medic bag from the back.

“He’s not here right now” you remind her “What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” you add, causing her to cock her eyebrow at you and chuckle “You’re brave”.

You put Sylvies comment to the back of your mind as you head over to the scene in front of you, Casey already with his team positioning the engine by the fire hydrant across the street whist Severide and the squad were storming over to the building that was currently ablaze.

You had barely stepped over the threshold as a girl no older than 5 came sprinting towards you, wrapping herself round your legs as she clung to you with all of her might. Whilst your mind was now on the young girl, a woman who was presumably the mother quickly followed in running out of the building and towards you.

She gripped at your shoulder as Sylvie eased her off of you, stood in shock as you barely had a chance to familiarise and asses the situation before being presented with two victims.

After several rounds of tests, being confident that neither of the victims required rushing to med for urgent treatment you helped them wrap up and had the oxygen masks placed round their necks just in case they felt the need.

Whilst securing the young girls blanket you thought back to you sat in the chair an hour ago, nearly asleep and wishing to not hear that alarm but here you were.

Back with your head on the job and dedicating yourself to the people who needed you, proving to yourself that you were good enough and deserved your spot with the great team you had surrounding you.

You looked up to see the fire dwindling out and Casey rounding up his team, Severide was retracting the ladders back onto the truck as the rest of the squad shuffled out of the fragile building that barely stood in front of you.

You were awaiting the go ahead from the Chief that you could leave, taking a swig from your energy drink and placing it back into the front of the ambo where you were earlier sat. Making your way round to the back of the truck to sit with the mother and daughter, still understandably shaken but doing well considering how bad things could have been.

“How long have you lived here?” You questioned, making small talk to pass the time and attempt to keep their minds preoccupied “Nearly 4 years, we moved in when I was pregnant and haven’t looked back since” the mother opens up, the young girl under her arm beside her.

You shifted your focus onto the girl, sat staring at the ground with her head hung low to lean on her elbows “How you doing sweetie?” You asked but didn’t get a response. The mother looked down on her daughter, you moved yourself so you could be in front of her and reach her eye level.

“You tell the lady if something hurts or you don’t feel well Claudia?” Still no response, you gently reach your hand to place on her shoulder but she flinches “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you” you whisper, leaning towards her for empathy “Will my daddy be okay?” Her voice cracks and you look to the mother who looks just as puzzled as you.

“Daddy’s at work, honey?” She asks with the same panic and confusion laced in her tone “I saw him come through the back door just before the fire started” she confesses “He was with another man who told him he was in trouble” she continues and you scan around to see if they pulled anyone else out of the fire but you had no such luck.

“And you’re sure your daddy was in the house before the fire?” You yet again ask to try and get the facts before you go off and panic to one of the others “I’m positive!” She raises her voice but you try to keep her calm.

“is he going to be okay?” She probes towards her Mother but you excuse yourself to go and talk to Severide who stood on the other side of the truck with Casey.

“You guys pull anyone else out of there?” You question but can tell by the looks on their faces and the happiness in their banter they thought it was a successful save with two victims being relatively unharmed, their faces fall as they realise what you’re asking

“Just the two” Severide answers before Casey nods in agreement “Only the mother and daughter, rest of the place was clear” he adds, sounding confident in his answer. “You mind going inside to do one more double check? She seems certain her dad was inside when the place went up but the mother doesn’t seem to have a clue” you quietly recount to the two lieutenants who waste no time in rounding up a few of their team and heading back inside.

You decide to wait by the rig to avoid more questions from the victims as you really had no answers and didn’t feel right speaking to them before you knew more.

Minutes go by and your eyes are pinned to the door that the men walked through just moments before, nervously biting on your fingernails and feeling your heart pounding in your chest. Silently hoping it was from the energy drink and not the nauseous feeling you had in the pit of your stomach that you knew something wasn’t going right.

Casey appears at the door and nods his head for you to go over, you follow his command and find yourself bounding over “you might wanna call your boy toy” he murmurs, aware of the close proximity of the mother and daughter that sat close by “Jay?” You question to which he nods “We got a body.”

You do as you’re told and call Jay who you can hear immediately gathers up the available Intelligence members and leaves the district. You head back to the ambo, trying to hurry yourself but also attempting to not raise suspicion as you’re being intently watched by both the mother and daughter who sat before you “what’s going on?”

The mother stands and makes her way over to you and the front of the truck “I’m just gonna need you to stay with your daughter ma’am” you try and be as aversive as possible whilst already knowing that wasn’t going to be enough for the distressed lady “Was my husband in there?” She asks, dread and fear laced through her voice as she stands with her arms crossed over her chest trying to hold herself together.

Before you have a chance to speak, you’re interrupted by the sound of sirens coming from down the street, you turn to see several trucks speeding down towards you. Jay and Voight in the first vehicle that screeches to a stop, closely followed by Adam, Hailey and Kevin who are soon to follow suit and begin to push back nosey neighbours.

“What’s going on?” Jay heads over to you with Voight hot on his heels “Hailey” you call out to catch her attention and of course she is quick to leave the bystanders to Kevin and Adam as she joins you with Voight and Jay.

“Can you just stay with the mother? Sylvie is keeping an eye on the daughter but I need you to keep her calm” you plead and she nods and turns to introduce herself to the mother “Why don’t we take a seat?” She suggests as she geustures towards the back of the ambo where Claudia is sat.

Surprisingly she obliges and follows her guide, stopping to do the occasional double take but soon being out of sight and back with her daughter.

“You gonna tell us what’s going on?” Voight wastes not time to question as you take them over to Casey who is still in the doorway waiting for them “she said she saw her dad in the house before the fire but the mother had no idea as she thought he was at work.

They went back into investigate and” you’re cut off by a body bag passing you, the vile smell hitting you as it goes by. You quickly turn your head to try and avoid it but it was inescapable.

Jay places his hand to the top of your back as he furrows his brows in concern “you good?” He probes, concentration now more on you as Voight speaks to Casey “Good” you reassure, smile flashing on your face but he remains stern as you feel his eyes bore into you as you turn your attention back onto Voight and Casey .

“We didn’t spot it at first, he was crouched in this room that we didn’t know existed behind one of the cabinets” Casey ushers the three of you into the building, still feeling the warmth coming from the torn apart walls and the smell of ash clogging your every thought.

“Any ID?” Voight let’s himself into the room Casey had just mentioned, Jay allows you to step in first before following. The room was tiny, shocked it could fit a grown man at all, looking more like a pantry that was never used or something they intended on expanding but never did as it laid empty for all these years.

“What am I gonna tell her?” You mumble, feeling the lump in your throat and the thought of explaining the situation to the already shaken up pair sat outside “we’ll do it” Jay is quick to answer, you’re relieved to see Voight nod in agreement and not rip into Jay for speaking before thinking.

A less than helpful tendency he had when it came to you but in this case he was right as it was up to them to break the news to the family and not on you. You still wanted to be there as they relaid the heartbreaking information to the mother, being a familiar face made all the difference in these situations and whether you liked it or not you had to put that to one side and be there for support.

You watched as Jay respectfully informed the mother, watching the blood drain from her face and the strength leave her body as she began to fall to the ground.

You and Jay both instinctively lunged forward to catch her, pulling her up to now being held in Jay’s arms as she sobbed into his chest “I can’t tell Claudia, they were so close” she uttered through your tears and your heart broke, you were fortunate enough to be on the job long enough to have your fair share of threatening injuries but so far no fatalities.

You were soon learning on the job what it was like to deal with it first hand. You scan over to Hailey and Sylvie who were now both with the young girl, oblivious to her mother’s sobs as she faces away in deep distraction “why don’t we get you both to med and we can go from there?” You suggest, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder to which she nods, still buried in Jay’s chest and clutching at his arms.

You do your best to slowly unwrap her tight grasp from Jay and pull her towards you, her tear stained face was now bright red and body temperature rocketing in stress.

“Go with Y/N and we will be in touch when we have some more news” Jay consoles, still with a quiet and calming voice to try and not add to the intense situation. You had never seen him like this at work, he’d been called to a number of your jobs but only to help with rough crowds or to arrest a suspect who was injured.

He helped you through this process whether he knew it or not, if it wasn’t for him staying so calm who knows how you would’ve handled it..

Sylvie peers her head round the side of the ambo and calls out to the mother “we’ve got a little girl back here who wants her mother” she tilts her heads towards the girl before noticing the state she was in.

You give a subtle shake of your head which she thankfully spots “on second thought, why don’t you ride in the back with me and my partner will take care of your mother” she speaks to young girl in an excited tone to try and deflect away from where you were stood with Jay and the devestated woman.

“Yeah!” Claudia exclaims before climbing into the back of the ambo and settling on the seat “I can do it, I need to be with her” you hear the timid voice from beside you crack with every word. She takes a deep inhale and wipes away the tears that had stained her cheeks.

“If you need anything, give me a call no matter what hour” Jay hands her his card with a comforting smile. He flicks his eyes over you as you guide the woman towards the back of the ambo “keep me updated” he points at you to which you nod before he heads back over to join Voight who was still in the house with the rest of the team.

A few hours go by and you’re on your way from med, truly drained and ready to crash in your bed at the station. What started as luckily, a less than intense fire soon took a turn and had you put through your paces when you were least expecting it.

You and Sylvie both sat in silence, finishing the last of your energy drink as you toss the empty can by your feet “you still drinking that? It’s like 10pm” Sylvie chuckles as you keep your eyes staring out of the window at the darkness, her hands clinging to the steering wheel as you sat back in your seat and huffed.

“you remember the first time you see a dead body?” You question, avoiding her comments about the energy drink as you really weren’t in the mood.

“Yep. Turned up to a house call, man said his wife had been quiet and had locked herself in the bedroom, we got in and there she was laid on the floor with a needle sticking out of her arm” she woefully speaks, eyes still firmly on the road

“as much as I try and forget it, it will never leave me” she adds but you remain silent “Did you see him?” She asks to break the silence that had fallen in the ambo, the only noise being the humming of the engine and equipment clanging in the back.

“Not even, just a body bag” you admit “that shook me up enough, who knows what I’m gonna be like with an actual body” you slump further into your chair, crossing your legs in the footwell.

“maybe I’m not cut out for this” you confess and feel her eyes snap to you “are you crazy? You’ve just experienced your first fatality and you still managed to keep calm and I most importantly keep the others calm” slight strain in her voice as she continues to speak

“If you’re not doubting your job after a rough call, you didn’t do it right”.

Her words play in your mind for the rest of the journey, resting your head on the window as you pull into the station. You open the door to jump out when she tugs on your hand to stop you.

“You did good Y/N. Don’t let anyone tell you different” you give her a half hearted smile before stepping down out of the vehicle. Slamming the door behind you with a deep exhale “oh, her day has just got a whole lot better” you hear her chime, your head hanging low as you make your way over to the other side to join her.

You turn the corner to see Jay stood besides Severide, signature mischievous grin and arms outstretched towards you “you really think I wouldn’t be here waiting for you?” He questions as you stroll over to him, wanting to bound into his arms but knowing how you’d never hear the end of it from the surrounding team which now all had their eyes on you.

“come on” Sylvie grabs at Kelly’s arm “let’s give them a moment” she ushers him away from the pair of you as you stand engulfed in Jay’s arms.

“You still working?” You question, leaning into Jay’s chest as he runs his fingertips up and down your back “Finished hours ago, been waiting here for you” he mumbles into the top of your head as he places a kiss to your temple.

“Thought I could stay here tonight? Can’t sleep alone in that bed for another night, I’ll go insane” you pull back to see his toothy grin beaming down onto you as you feel your heart pull

“you’re gonna stay here? With me?” You question, still latched onto his chest as he gently pushes your hair back from your face “that alright?”.

You nod into him but still want to stay wrapped up in his presence as you feel everything wash away and all of the stress dissolve in your body when he holds you. “Come on, let’s get you to your bed” he gently taps at your lower back, signalling for you to unattach yourself from him.

You resist your urges and escape his grasp but he soon slings his arm round your shoulders to pull you back into him as you walk towards the station bunks.

“I haven’t heard great things about these from you so if I get a bad back we know why” he chuckles into your hair as he places a kiss to the side of your head as you continue to walk.

“That isn’t an energy drink I smell is it?” He pulls you under his arm and closer into him. You clear your throat as he does his best to remain stern “uh, no. Just fumes” you try to slightly pull away to reduce the smell but he had you in his hold and you both knew you weren’t getting out “ah those classic fumes, always forget about those”.

You and Jay laid in silence on your station bed, luckily in the corner to stay away from prying eyes which you know your nosey team would have.

Laying content as you find your natural position with your head on him and his arm wrapped around you, hand splayed on your hip as the other absentmindedly fiddles with your fingers resting on chest.

The silence isn’t uncomfortable and awkward, feeling the need to start small talk in efforts to make some form of conversation. Instead it’s a comfortable silence, filled with happiness and content with being back where you belong.

Jay let’s out a deep exhale as he rubs light circles into your skin but keeps his eyes on the ceiling above “you know you can always talk to me” he whispers, aware of other people in the room behind asleep.

You angle your head to look up at him, catching his attention as he glances down at you “I’ll get over it, just another day at the office” you try and make light of the situation but he wasn’t having it.

“I’m serious” he scowls but not out of anger, more of concern “I don’t want you bottling this up” he runs his thumb over your temple in a comforting motion “I won’t, I promise” you return your head back to his chest as he intertwines your fingers with his.

“I’ve missed being like this with you” he confesses, seemingly out of the blue as you return to your comfortable silence. You place a kiss to the exposed skin through the neckline of his T-shirt and nuzzle further into the crook of his neck “I missed you too”.

He lets out a content hum as he tightens his grip on your side and closing the near enough already nonexsistant gap between the pair of you “my life isn’t the same without you in it” he whispers but by this point you’ve closed your eyes and we’re dozing in and out of sleep, soothed by the soft rhythm within his chest “sleep tight baby”.

***

Inbox and requests always open🥰

#jay halstead x reader #one chicago #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #jay halstead drabble #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #jay halstead smut #one chicago x reader #jay halstead x you

387 notes · View notes

sunwoo-hoo · 3 years

Text

↣ the boyz reaction to s/o bringing home a pet / interacting with animals

↳ a/n: hello my darlings! we are back at it with another tbz reaction! this is for my lovely anon who requested this. i hope you don’t mind i altered the request a little bit. i’m so sorry that requests are coming out slowly but bear with me i’ll get through them. nevertheless, i hope you enjoy! also, all my reactions are canon to my boyfriend series so i highly recommend checking those out as well! ☻

↳ genre: fluffiest of fluff

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 2.7k

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon 」

it had been a week since you last saw sangyeon and you were finally going to see him, but you never would have guessed the unexpected to happen one rainy evening when it was nearly 35°F

as you were walking up to the dorms that’s when you heard tiny meows and spotted a small white kitten near the alley trying to make cover in a box

you instantly felt bad for the poor kitten due to the harsh weather conditions and it looked like it was lost from it’s mother

you swiftly picked up and tried your best to cover the tiny kitten with your jacket as you made your way inside the dorms

as sangyeon open the door he instantly smiled seeing your face giving you a cheek on this kiss

“what’s that sound?” he wondered as he heard the faint meows coming from your jacket

removing your jacket sangyeon saw the small kitten that was in your hands

“i found him outside, i couldn’t just leave him out there. do you think we can keep him?” you asked hopefully giving sangyeon your doe eyes

he sighed “i don’t know baby, we’re both really busy with our schedules.. he should be with a family where they can properly take care of him”

you nodded hating that he was right, you knew that you couldn’t take care of pet when you had a full time job and sangyeon had his idol responsibilities

sangyeon noticed your sadness and lifted your chin to look up at him “we’ll make sure that he’ll go to a loving home okay?” he promised

you smiled in response giving him a small peck setting the kitten down on the floor where he quickly ran under the table

「 Jacob Bae 」

you were excited, it was the day of your birthday and jacob wanted to make it extra special for you

he knew you always wanted a pet so he decided that you could go to the pet store and get any pet you wanted with his card

he wanted to go with you but unfortunately practice overlapped

nevertheless, you were ecstatic looking at all the different animals that were for sale, when your eyes finally landed on some caged rabbits

you smiled as you saw a light brown one with his long whiskers, in a way it reminded you of jacob

as you told the seller that was the animal you wanted, you bought all the corresponding items you would need like food, treats, toys, and a cage with a matching bowl set for his food and water

once you had everything you needed you made your way to the dorms to surprise jacob with your new pet

as you knocked on the door jacob answered noticing the huge cage covering your entire face and half your upper body

he laughed “what on earth did you buy?” trying to peek through the cage grabbing it from you with ease setting it on top of the dining table

“something that reminds of me of you” you smiled

“that’s funny because i don’t see a golden retriever anywhere” he teased

“this is better! just close your eyes” you instructed as jacob did was he was told

once you knew his eyes were closed you opened the cage and grabbed the rabbit holding it in your arms “okay open!”

when jacob opened eyes he saw the small brown rabbit in your hands “aw… you got a rabbit?” he asked scooping it from your hands wanting to see it closer

“yes!” you squealed not hiding your excitement as jacob set him down on the floor so that he could hop around

“well it’s super cute, and it suits you so well” he said giving you a kiss on the cheek before he continued “now c’mon i have more surprises for my birthday girl”

「 Kim Younghoon 」

you loved younghoon, you pretty much had the perfect little family including your little poodle bori

but when your friend texted you that her maltese dog had a litter of puppies you couldn’t deny that you wanted one, they were just so precious

you kept hinting at younghoon all week that you really wanted to snag one of your friend’s puppies

“younghoon look at this cute picture again” you grinned showing him your phone

“they are cute baby but we already have bori” he said glancing at the picture

“but bori needs a friend” you protested leaning your head on his shoulder “pleaseee?”

he let out a light sigh “we can go and look at them but no promises okay?”

you shrieked “yay that’s perfectly fine! i love you so much” you repeated grabbing his face giving him kisses all over

as expected when you and younghoon went to go see the maltese puppies he was excited and couldn’t deny their cuteness and agreed that you could get one

you ultimately decided on the runt of the litter which was a boy and the smallest out of all the puppies

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

it was fun weekend when your sibling asked you to take care of their pet hedgehog

at first you weren’t even going to mention it to hyunjae since he was busy but he decided to surprise you at your apartment one evening

that’s when he noticed the small cage in your living room that definitely wasn’t there before

“hey babe what’s this? did you get a pet?” he wondered curiously

“oh! no i didn’t i’m just watching him for the weekend while my sibling is out of town” you replied heading to the kitchen to get dinner started

as hyunjae opened the cage to get a closer look at the hedgehog it quickly curled up into a ball out of anxiousness pricking hyunjae’s fingers

“ah! it feels like needles” he nearly screamed closing the cage quickly

as you ran back into the living room to see what the commotion was all about you saw the hedgehog still curled up in a ball in the corner of his cage

“aw hyunjae you scared him” you said opening up the cage grabbing him carefully

the hedgehog slowly peeked out of his little ball and started to relax in your hands

hyunjae came up behind you laying his head on your shoulder trying to get a better look at the hedgehog’s face

“it looks cute, but he still hurt my hand” he whined playfully

rolling your eyes at him you set the hedgehog back inside the cage where he started to walk freely

you grabbed hyunjae’s hand giving it a small kiss trying to make him feel better

“it hurts here too babe” he said pointing to his lips smirking

you chuckled as you leaned in giving him a small peck

「 Lee Juyeon 」

you were visiting juyeon during practice when he finally met your pet turtle for the first time

it was a yellow-bellied slider turtle and it was still small enough that it fit in the palm of your hand

you walked in the studio with your small portable cage and saw juyeon practicing alone to new dance moves for the boyz next comeback

he smiled when he saw you through the mirror reflection turning around walking towards you giving you a peck on the lips

when he pulled apart he noticed the tiny cage in your hands

“hey babe, you didn’t have to come all this way to see me. i was gonna head to the dorms after” he said

“i know, but i wanted you to finally my meet my pet turtle. i’ve had him ever since i was little” you smiled taking your turtle out of the cage handing him over to juyeon

“he’s super cute” he commented as the turtle kept sticking its head in and out of his shell

as you both sat down on the floor you grabbed a little bit of juyeon’s fruit from the table and started to feed your turtle

juyeon laughed at how slowly the turtle was eating

“that was all the food i had for practice and it’s gonna take him at least 5 years to eat it all” he teased as you giggled in response

「 Kevin Moon 」

after dating for about a month kevin finally decided to visit your apartment for the first time

you were a bit apprehensive at first mostly because of your pet since you weren’t sure how he was going to react

as you walked into your apartment he casually looked around

“wow i’m jealous i think your place is bigger than our dorms” he commented

you laughed before stopping in front of your bedroom door

“okay, so don’t freak out but i have pet snake..” you told him hesitantly

“no way for real? can i see?” kevin asked excitedly

you nodded opening your bedroom door as you and kevin walked up to the medium sized cage in the corner of your room

“wow he looks really cool can i hold him?” kevin asked

“absolutely he’s actually really sweet” you replied taking out the medium green snake and handing him over

kevin held the snake in his hands while sticking out his tongue copying the snake as you smiled

“i actually have to give him away soon since i’m moving to another building and they don’t allow pets” you mumbled

“aw that sucks [name] i’m sorry, how about i help you find him a good home?” kevin asked placing the snake back in the cage

you nodded happily wanting nothing more

「 Choi Chanhee 」

you weren’t expecting that this was the way that chanhee would meet a pet mouse for the first time

it was a memorable experience to say the least

when chanhee was on vlive you figured now was the time for him to meet the cute little mouse

“i’ll be right back deobi’s i’m gonna bring a friend” you smiled

chanhee gave you a confused look as far as he knew it was just you and him that were gonna do the vlive together

once you came back into the room chanhee turned his chair to greet the new acquaintance but the first thing you heard was his screams

“love what is that? is it a rat?” he shrieked as he covered his mouth in disbelief

“no! it’s my pet mouse, doesn’t he look cute deobi’s?” you asked showing him to the camera

“look at his cute little round ears” you added as chanhee was still giving you puzzled looks

“oh love, i don’t know…” he finally said looking at the mouse from afar and at his phone reading deobi’s comments

you giggled responding “relax chanhee it’s my neighbors mouse, i just wanted to see your reaction”

he sighed putting his hand over his chest dramatically “love you almost gave me a heart attack in front of deobi’s”

“sorry deobi!” you apologized sincerely leaving the room

“what just happened?” chanhee asked the camera jokingly

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

it was a nice sunny day when you and changmin decided to take a walk through the city

it was a spontaneous day, doing everything that caught you and changmin’s eye like the cafe and shopping

as you both were making your way home that’s when you spotted the pet store asking changmin if you can go in

“changmin-a, can we go there?” you asked pointing to the pet store

“of course babe, i was thinking about getting some new fish” he grinned grabbing your hand

as you both walked around the store looking at the various fishes and reptitles that’s when you saw a cage full of adorable hamsters

“aw changmin look how cute these are, they look just like you! especially that one” you pointed laughing at the individual hamster in the corner eating with its cheeks puffed

changmin laughed showing his adorable smile agreeing before asking the seller if he could hold one

the seller opened the cage and handed changmin a hamster to hold

you quickly took out your polaroid camera as changmin started to pose with the hamster

the rest of the day was spent taking pictures with all the animals in the pet store

「 Juhaknyeon 」

it was a chill day spending it haknyeon on his rare day off

as you two were watching t.v with your head on his lap you were casually scrolling through your phone

that’s when you saw an ad for a chameleon that was for sale

you didn’t know much about chameleon’s besides thet fact that they were really cool looking and that their skin camouflaged itself to hide from prey

you gently tapped on haknyeon who was slowly starting falling asleep

“haknyeon look someone is selling their pet chameleon” you said lightly trying to wake him up

“hmm? that’s nice babe” he replied still half asleep

“can we go and see it?” you asked hopefully

“mm, sure babe” he murmured bending down to kiss your forehead before falling back asleep

a couple of days later you were seeing the chameleon for the first time even though haknyeon barely rememberd the conversation on going

“this is him” the older lady introduced you two to her loving chameleon adding “would you like to hold him?”

you nodded enthusiastically as she grabbed the chameleon and placed it on your forearm

haknyeon lightly touched his back commenting on the odd texture

you then placed it on top of haknyeon’s forearm and saw the chameleon changing colors to haknyeon’s jacket

“wow, this is officially the coolest pet ever let’s get him” haknyeon’s said smiling

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

kim sunwoo loved you, in fact he adored you. in his eyes you could do no wrong

but he also loved the two lovebirds you had together as pets as they reminded him of your relationship

the birds were always together, eating, sleeping, and flying simultaneously

the male lovebird had a black face with a grey body and his name was jae

while the female was light blue with white body with her name being eun

he especially loved it whenever he would come home from practice and they would fly all over the dorm

“sunwoo wait, jae is on top of your head” you giggled as sunwoo entered the apartment taking off his shoes

you pointed your index finger outward as jae flew on top of it landing easily

jae quickly flew over to his wooden play stand walking to eun as she was eating from the bird feeder

sunwoo pulled you close wrapping his arms around your waist pressing light kisses in the crook of your neck from behind

“how was your day?” he murmured in between kisses

you moaned in response “so much better now that you’re here”

sunwoo smiled as you both heard the the faint chirps from jae and eun in the background

「 Eric Sohn 」

one of the reasons you loved hanging out with eric was because he always made you feel like a little kid again

it was his idea to spend the day with you at an amusement park where you two went on countless rides and ate all the junk food you can eat

you both decided that it would be best to take a break from all the rides and go to the park’s animal exhibit

“wow babe come look a this” eric exclaimed excitedly pulling your hand running towards the reptile exhibit

you giggled in response at his energy following right behind

you both took in all the different snakes, lizards, and turtles before you finally stopped in front of an exhibit where a worker was explaining one of the lizards they had which was a bearded dragon

“now would anyone like to hold him?” the worker announced to the onlookers

“i would!” eric grinned raising his hand in response

as you both walked closer to get a better look the worker handed eric the bearded dragon where he was also explaining more fun facts and instructions on how to hold him properly

“hold still eric i wanna make sure i get a picture of this” you smiled taking out your phone

after you took a few snaps you sent it to the boyz group chat where texts started to flood in

you laughed when you read hyunjae’s comment saying that the bearded dragon looked like eric

eric peeked at your phone to see what was so funny until he read hyunjae’s text

“just wait, he won’t laugh once he finds a bearded dragon on his bed” eric chuckled mischievously

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

168 notes · View notes

fairyoftbz · 3 years

Text

childish fear | l. juyeon

⚔ pairing: stranger!juyeon x single mom! fem! reader ⚔ genre: fluff ⚔ wc : 3.2k ⚔ tw: none ⚔ a/n: im so sorry it's been so long but my work keeps me super busy and i hate my unposted fics that i wrote in the past, hence my absence. i promise to come back here asap!! <33 ⚔ requested: no

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“Mommy, where are we going?” your daughter asked for the nth time as you guided her foot by the ankle in her shoe. Her tiny hand leant on your shoulder while you fastened the Velcro straps and zipped up her jacket, walking out of your apartment to the corridor of your floor. She watched you locked the front door and sliding the keys in your handbag before grabbing her hand to the elevator.

“As I’ve told you, we’re heading to a coffee shop to see Uncle Kevin and Jinseon, remember?” she clapped in her hands as if she just learnt the news, despite her asking this question over five times since she woke up. You forgave her because she was at the age where she would find everything fascinating and barely pay attention to what you said. You chuckled and shook your head with a smile as her curious eyes observed the elevator, touching the mirror and gasping at the coldness of it under her palm. It was almost guaranteed that she didn’t listen and will ask again in a couple of minutes.

“Where are we going?” here we go again, her tiny voice reaching your ear above the roaring motor of the bus. She grabbed your leg as you were typing something on your phone with one hand, the other gripping the metallic bar as tight as possible as your daughter was not the most balanced child.

“Baby, I’ve told you many times that we are going to see Kevin and Jinseon at the coffee shop because Mommy and Uncle Kevin have to do something for work,” you looked at her with stern eyes, something you always did when she wasn’t paying attention.

“But why aren’t we going to their house? It’s so big!” she argued, and the bus doors opened, quickly sliding your phone in your back pocket and jumped out of the bus with your daughter in your arms.

“Uncle Kevin wants to change the interior of the house, so people work there, and it’s not safe for them and us to meet there. But I promise that we’ll go back there soon!”

“I won’t be able to draw with Jinseon?” you shook your head from side to side, and your daughter pouted, nuzzling her face in your neck.

“Not at his house, but maybe he brought a colouring book like yours today!” you exclaimed, and her mood lifted instantly, getting all giddy and happy to share her passion with her best friend.

Pushing the door of the coffee shop, you were instantly met with a reassuring warmth and the good smell of coffee, placing your daughter back on the ground as you lined up to order. The place was quite busy, but you were right before the time people were fighting to get a table.

“Mommy, this table!” she asked and pointed her little finger towards a table near the window, her little topknot moving on her head as she looked up at you.

“Good choice, baby,” you said, and she grabbed your hand again, noticing her gaze shifting to something scared. You frowned as she went to stand in front of you, her hands gripping your thighs as she stared up at you.

You asked for your usual order and a strawberry smoothie for your daughter, who happily giggled when she saw the sliced fruit inside of her transparent cup. She laughed and ran to the table you had agreed on occupying, her little hands pressed on the seat as she hoisted herself alone on it.

A few minutes after giving your daughter her pens and colouring books, your phone rang in your back pocket, getting you out of your bubble of focus as you stopped typing.

“Hello?” you said, and your best friend’s voice reached your ear.

“Hi Y/N, I’m really sorry to warn you only now, but I won’t be able to make it with Jinseon.” A wave of disappointment flooded your heart, but you didn’t raise it.

“Oh my. Did something happen?” you asked as your daughter was too busy colouring a monkey pink to even hear what you were talking about.

“Thankfully no, I uhm… I forgot that my in-laws invited us to a five-star restaurant today,” he said, and you bitterly chuckled, feeling sorry for him as you knew the exhausting relationship he had with them.

“Sounds fun,” you sarcastically said as you heard him sigh on the other side of the phone, “don’t worry, we can always meet up another time.”

“Won’t Chunae be disappointed?” Kevin asked, and you emitted a laugh, quickly looking to the side as someone at the table next to yours drew a chair.

“I’ll handle her, don’t worry about it. Have fun with your most favourite people in the world, then!” you sarcastically said, and you heard him sigh.

“Thanks, but I’d rather die than witnessing my mother-in-law brag again about the new diamond necklace she bought and lie on how she’s not close to bankrupting,” you giggled and winked at your daughter, amused by the situation. That was what you got to have your stepson handling the family accounts and his best friend as an assistant counsellor. You both could see her lie to everyone, and it was funny.

“Try to make her understand that you know she’s lying in front of everyone else and see how she reacts,” you suggested and heard him gasp at your words.

“I beg you Y/N, can you please schedule us an appointment so I can ruin her?”

“Of course,” you opened another tab on your computer, typing and clicking on a few things to finally get to your best friend’s schedule.

“You can tell her that she can come on Friday at 1 pm to discuss about her financial state. I just sent her an email,” you announced, and Kevin sighed, imagining him biting his lower lip and clutch his fist in satisfaction.

“You’re the best. I gotta go now,” you took a sip of your drink and wished him good luck before hanging up.

“M-Mommy?” you heard your daughter whisper, barely making out her words as the coffee shop music and the hustling was quite loud. You smiled, but it immediately vanished as you saw her scared state, pen lingering on the pages of her colouring book. Her eyes were drawn to the table next to yours, her mouth trembling from time to time, close to crying.

Following her gaze, you noticed a man around your age and immediately understood your daughter’s fear as you took in the sight. The man was scrolling on his phone, his white t-shirt hugging his broad shoulders and slender torso perfectly. His biceps flexed each time he swiped up his finger on the screen or took a sip of coffee, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. You weren’t going to lie that he was super handsome, but something else couldn’t go unnoticed in your eyes.

His tattoos.

He was covered in them. Your eyes could scarcely spot some natural, intact skin. Arms, forearms, chest and neck, only his face remained untouched. His jet-black hair was as dark as his eyes, yet they still held something soft and human in them. A thin nose with plumped, pinkish lips, it would have been almost impossible for you to guess that he had tattoos all over his body if you only saw his face.

You found him quite attractive to say the least, but it was quite the opposite for your daughter. She found tattoos terrifying, only accepting the small, hidden ones Kevin had. Her eyes welled up with tears, and you gently called her name, gesturing her to come closer. She jumped out of her seat, carefully going around the table from the opposite side where the man was sitting and walked towards you.

“Baby, those are just tattoos. You see what you draw and colour in your books with Jinseon? This man decided to do it on his skin because he likes drawings too!” you explained gently as your daughter couldn’t tear her gaze off the man.

“But it’s scary,” she mumbled, and you shook your head, gently cradling her cheek.

“Do you find the drawings on Uncle Kevin’s skin scary?” you asked, and she disagreed, finally looking up at you.

“It’s the same for him. Like Uncle Kevin, he decided to get them on his skin because he likes the shapes and colours. Do you understand?” you smiled as she wiped her teary eyes, nodding, trying to look confident. But you knew your daughter, she was still scared.

“Do you want to switch seats with Mommy?”

“No,” she said in a frail voice, and you kissed her cheek while rubbing her back. It was always the same. Bizarrely, when she feared something, she wanted to stay close to it as if she was determined of getting over her irrational fear.

Chunae walked back on her seat and resumed colouring, her gaze looking to her left from time to time. You smiled and stared at your computer again, getting distracted by the man as well, but not for the same reasons as your daughter.

“You’re a mother Y/N, don’t let those stupid thoughts get inside your head,” you closed your eyes and mentally slapped yourself, heavily sighing as you answered some emails, focusing back on your work.

You were so concentrated on your tasks that you didn’t even notice what was happening in front of you. Chunae became terrified as the man caught her staring, his eyes transforming into crescent moons when he softly waved at her. Her eyes widened and started colouring faster, her nose almost touching the paper as if she wanted everything around her to disappear. It happened once, twice, but she remembered what you always told her; never talk to strangers. So when the young man whispered a small ‘hi!’ to her, she panicked and called for you.

“Mommy!” she got you out of your work bubble, and you stared at her from above your computer screen, fingers still typing on the computer. Your hands stopped when you noticed her little forefinger pointing at the man, whose chocolate eyes were quick to shift to yours.

Shit, he was really handsome.

“What is it, sweetpea?” you asked and lowered your computer screen. “I’m sorry for her behaviour, she's not usually like that,” you said, grabbing her hand as you sent an apologetic smile to the man.

He shook his head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it, I get it. She’s still quite young,” you were sized by a shiver when two sets of white, perfectly aligned teeth almost blinded you as his mouth stretched into a bigger smile.

“I’m five!” she said, pouting, crossing her arms on her chest, staring at the table with furrowed brows.

The young man’s eyes widened, and pursed his lips, trying to hold back a smile as he acknowledged her stubbornness. You puffed and rolled your eyes at her behaviour, noticing with a smirk that she was still glancing at his tattoos.

“What’s your name?” he asked after looking at you, asking for permission. Your daughter’s unsure eyes stared at you, and you nodded, allowing her to talk to him.

“Ch-Chunae,” she answered, and his mouth transformed into a surprised ‘o’, letting out a small gasp.

“That’s a very pretty name, I’m Juyeon,” he said, and your daughter blushed, a veil of shyness appearing in her eyes as he held out his hand for her to shake it. You smiled as he indirectly complimented you for choosing her name, his gaze softening as she timidly grabbed his hand. Her eyes couldn’t help but scrutinise his tattooed hand with attention, making the man smile fondly and brightly.

“I have drawings all over my arms, do you want to see them?” he asked, keeping a great eye on you to see any sign of reluctance. Or maybe it was for something else, but you didn’t need to know about this.

“But they’re scary,” she said, and Juyeon whole-heartedly laughed, drawing the sleeve of his t-shirt to the top of his shoulder.

“Look at this one,” he said as he twisted his biceps, noticing a dragon spitting fire and your daughter’s eyes widened. He then turned his forearm to show her a dolphin near the crook of his elbow, smiling as he watched your daughter’s expression change as she saw all his tattoos on his arms. She was now mesmerised by the tattoos, the gentle, deep voice of the man explaining to her as she stared at his inked arms.

“Do you wanna colour this one?” he asked, finger showing the rose on the back of his hand.

“Really?” Chunae was surprised by his question, and Juyeon smiled at you, your daughter already grabbing her red pen.

“You really don’t have to,” you embarrassingly said, but the man shook his head, resting his large hand in front of your daughter, who pushed all her belongings to the side.

“If that can keep her quiet while you work, I don’t mind,” he stated, and you raised your eyebrows, a grateful smile drawn on your face.

Colouring the red rose ended up inking the poor man’s entire arm, who had a lot of patience and discipline when it came to children. Chunae went over the line with her pen a few times, only to have him reassure and praise her to continue when she started feeling guilty.

“Oh no!” she gasped as her hand clumsily went over the scales of the snake circling his forearm, Juyeon chuckling before wetting his thumb to erase the misdrawn ink. “It’s okay, it’s okay, keep going,” he said in a gentle tone, smiling at your daughter as she was looking for reassurance.

You had told him a few times that he didn’t have to stay the entire day only here to occupy your daughter, but he genuinely was alright with that. He looked almost happy to talk with you and your daughter since you had stopped working a few moments ago to exchange a few words of politeness with him before heading home.

“Chunae, finish your smoothie before we go home,” you said, and she obeyed, nodding as she placed her pen down and started sipping on her drink.

“I’m really sorry for this,” you gestured to his arms, but he was quick to cut you.

“Ma’am, it's okay, please stop apologising, I gave my agreement for her to do this. You seem like busy parents with your husband, I’m glad I could help,” he smiled, and you frowned.

“H-Husband?” you asked and Juyeon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“O-oh? Wasn’t it your husband on the phone?” you shook your head at his words, only to have him purse his lips in utter embarrassment. “Sorry for assuming,” he said, the tip of his ears turning pink just like his cheeks.

“It’s okay, it was my best friend. I’m actually a single mom,” you explained, and he nodded, his features expressing admiration.

“Wow, you must be super strong then,” he said, and you blinked a few times, discerning something sad appearing in his eyes as he stared at your daughter. It was inappropriate and way too intrusive to ask him about his reaction, so you just offered him a grateful smile.

“I have to admit that it’s not always easy being alone in this, but with a bit of discipline and organisation, you can manage to make it work!” you tried to enlighten the mood, and Juyeon laughed along, but his smile had lost its splendour.

He cleared his throat, and you stood up, your daughter being finally done with her smoothie. You helped her place her pens in the pouch before clearing your belongings off the table, Juyeon standing up as well.

“Will I get to colour your tattoos again?” Chunae asked, and you looked at her sternly, but Juyeon laughed and smiled, gently ruffling her hair.

“This only depends on if your Mommy wants to see me again,” Juyeon crouched down to her level and made sure to get her hair out of the way before zipping her light jacket up to the chin.

You were taken aback by his answer, looking at him in the eyes. Vaguely smiling, he stood back up and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, thumbs playing with the belt loops as he waited for your answer. You breathed in heavily as you stared around you but in his eyes, trying to find an excuse.

“I mean… why not?” you eventually said, and his face brightened, his ears going pink at your answer. You grabbed your daughter’s hand as she was about to run to Juyeon and walked to the exit of the coffee shop, not believing what you’ve just agreed to.

Meeting a man? After your ex? With all the work and busy life that you had? Were you crazy?

Juyeon held out the door for you, and you thanked him, your daughter now almost best friend with the man she feared when he appeared. You sighed and replaced your bag on your shoulder, offering a soft smile to the man.

“Is it okay if we wait a bit before all of... this? I have the deadline of a big project that is coming up next week and it has a considerable influence on the future of my career, I really don’t want to mess it up,” you explained, and Juyeon nodded, his hand going to your bag to shove your key ring back inside since it was falling out.

“It’s more than okay, I’ll wait as long as it takes you to finish this and be ready to meet up with me,” he said, and your mouth fell open, surprised by his attitude. The last man you dated and loved unconditionally dropped the family he had created with you for a career abroad and another woman, his words and behaviour offering warmth to your broken, lonely heart.

You got your phone out and took Juyeon’s number, a relieved smile painted on your face. Maybe not all the men were as selfish and nasty as your ex.

“Call me if you need anything. It can be help, someone to look after her, comfort. Whatever you need, I’ll try to help you out as much as I can,” he said and rested a hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing it.

“Thank you,” you said, and he nodded with a smile.

“Good luck with everything,” you beamed and waved at him, your daughter imitating you as you started walking to the bus stop, hailing the vehicle as it was approaching.

Juyeon walked in the opposite way to the small parking lot in front of the coffee shop, his leg swinging over his motorcycle. He sat there for a minute, watching you get on the bus before the doors closing behind you, holding his helmet in hand. You were a busy, ambitious woman, you had set your priorities high, and you were not going to change them for a man. He was a bit scared of committing to a relationship with a busy woman and a child, yet that didn’t prevent him from wanting to get to know you and finding you attractive. He loved it even if he was a bit anxious about getting hurt, as it happened in his past way too many times to his likings.

His gloved hand moved side to side as the bus drove past him, your daughter on your hip as you both waved at him. The smile you had plastered on your face reassured him, hoping that you would give his heart a break and not break it.

253 notes · View notes

astonmartinii · 3 years

Text

lemonade and star-crossed lovers, p1 (JJ Maybank)

Warnings: none yet, swearing? all core characters are aged up to 18, Rafe is 21.

JJ Maybank x kook!reader (super super slow burn) (this will hopefully be a series)

WC: 4.0k

Growing up, Y/N always heard jokes about how the eldest daughter was just the mum in a different font. She never used to believe it, but that was when she had present and dedicated parents. Now, it just seemed that with every addition to the Miller family, the less interested Kevin and Julie Miller became.

So here Y/N was, practically a mother to her three younger siblings.

Dylan is only a year younger than Y/N but is no less of a hassle, especially when his useless friends decide to crash at their place. But considering they had the most hectic house of Dylan’s friendship group, the Miller household was usually the last option.

Then there’s Anderson, he’s in his rebellious phase currently, getting to that point where he’s figured out that acting out could maybe get the attention of his parents. Though Y/N wasn’t sure how well his plans were working out.

Peach is the youngest and practically attached to Y/N’s hip. To an untrained eye, Y/N often looked like a teen mum as she took Peach with her to the grocery shopping. In fact, Y/N was sure that if the kooks in Figure Eight didn’t know her family, they’d sneer at her with the same ignorance that clouded their entire lives.

Y/N woke up glad - it’s the last day of school. Summer break looms. The idea of boneyard keggers and hot (but equally clueless) tourons, excited the girl. But she knew her summer reality would be looking after Peach, bailing Anderson out of jail and swatting away the affections of Dylan’s stupid friends.

—————————————

Dylan is already awake when Y/N comes knocking, taking extra close care to his hair.

“Oh, you’re up,” Y/N said, moving to ruffle his hair and grab the empty plate on his bedside cabinet.

“Jesus, fuck Y/N, was that really necessary?”

“Hey maybe if you spent more time on assignments than your hair you wouldn’t have to take so many summer classes - oh yeah, mum might not remember, but I do, and you will be going.”

“But it’s summer, surely it’s a violation to my human rights to go to school.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive, and maybe when you finally pass this year, you’ll thank me. Breakfast in 10.”

Dylan just flips his sister off, going back to admiring himself in the mirror.

Y/N next goes to Peach’s room to find her awake and rummaging through her draws.

“Hey, princess, what are you thinking for the last day? Third grade finished already, you’ll be my age soon, wheeling me into the retirement home.”

Peach erupts into giggles, pulling out a little pink summer dress and grabbing her pink sandals to complete the ensemble.

“All pink, we love. Breakfast in 10, alright, don’t want you to be late for the last day.”

Anderson’s room is last, Y/N doesn’t bother knocking on her parent’s door. Kevin is probably already down on Judy - his beloved boat. The room is typical of a 14 year old boy, it stunk, his weed paraphernalia was badly hidden and there was a lump of pillows under the cover instead of a boy.

Shrugging, Y/N picked up the dirty mugs in his room and moved downstairs. She’d been awake nearly an hour now but was still unsure of what to make for breakfast. Opening the fridge gave her the only possible answer, leftover pizza from the previous night and maybe a porridge pot, though considering there were only two siblings to account for, it would do.

Dylan and Peach joined her in the kitchen shortly after, each taking a slice or two of pizza.

“No Anderson and pizza for breakfast? Watch out, we'll be calling CPS as soon as we’re outside.“

“You don’t know where the bug is? Why does that boy insist on giving me early onset cardiac issues?”

“Don’t take it too to heart, I’m sure he’ll turn up by the second period.”

“Okay, go to school now. Dylan, are you okay to drop Peach off, I’ll pick her up.”

Dylan nods and ushers the youngest out of the door and to his car. Y/N lets out a sigh when she sees them leave the driveway and makes her way to the back door. Through the sliding door she can see her dad, Kevin on Judy instructing John B, the kid who worked on the boat, what to do. Y/N puts two slices of pizza on a plate and grabs an apple and ventures out to the dock.

“Morning Y/N.”

“Morning, John B, can I interest you in an apple? It’s all we have I’m afraid.”

“No worries, any breakfast is breakfast when you’re a pogue.”

“Oh John B, you know I don’t believe in all that sub-par class warfare bullshit.”

“Of course you don’t, but that’s very easy to say when you’re on the other side.”

“Touche.”

Y/N doesn’t say anymore, but moves to give her dad his breakfast. She liked John B and hoped he didn’t see her like the other kooks. Sure Rafe Cameron frequented her house, but she’s nothing like him.

“Thanks, squirt.”

Despite the nickname, Kevin was absent as ever, not moving to look at her.

“You’re children are off to school, don’t worry.”

Silence.

“Oh thank you Y/N, I really don’t know what we’d do without you! You’re such a gem, you’re really unappreciated and we don’t deserve you! Thanks dad, I really needed to hear that. Are you coming later?”

“Where?” Kevin grunted, with pizza in his mouth.

“My graduation? Did you forget that was today?”

The awkward silence was enough of an answer for Y/N.

“Sorry squirt, I promised to go to the mainland to pick something up for your mother.”

With that, Y/N stormed off Judy, towards the house and into her room. When she sat down on her bed she could think about what just happened. She knew her parents didn’t care about her, but missing their first child’s graduation for a small errand to the mainland?

Now that the house was quiet again, she could get ready - she was graduating today and as valedictorian she wants to look her best. Julie, her mum, is in Washington on some mysterious job venture, Y/N wasn’t told until she came down in the morning a few days ago and saw Julie with her suitcases. She guessed that one positive of her parents’ absenteeism is her ability to steal Julie’s expensive jewelry to wear.

Y/N looked in the mirror, she did clean up nice when she wanted to. Her lengthy hair is in a half-up, half-down style, with minimal makeup and a red knee-length dress. The dress hugged her figure and complemented her graduation gown perfectly. Too bad none of her family would be there to see it. She knew deep down that Peach and Dylan would’ve attended if possible, and Anderson would maybe even make an appearance, especially if there was food involved.

Y/N put her matching red heels on and grabbed her cap from her closet. After one final look in the mirror and putting her printed speech into her bag, the young girl made her way down the stairs.

To her surprise, none other than John B sat in her kitchen drinking a glass of water.

“You clean up nice kook,” said John B, a smug smirk on his face.

“Thank you, John. Don’t you have graduation today?”

“Eh, yeah. I’m just going for the food though, school isn’t really my thing…” John B looked closer at her cap. “I’m practically the opposite to you Miss Valedictorian”.

“Hmm, well at least someone in this house noticed, thank you John B. I’m going now, I didn’t notice your van out front, you need a lift to yours?”

“Is that really on your way, wouldn’t want Miss Valedictorian to be late to her own event, you got a speech ready?”

“I do as a matter of fact, but I want to be just on time, minimise the time people have to ask about the whereabouts of my parents. So, do you want a lift or not?”

“Sure thing, Miss Valedictorian.”

Y/N doesn’t acknowledge the nickname, but secretly loved it, it was a joke, but at least someone was appreciating her achievements. Peach would, she knows, but she’s not really at the point of understanding what it means and the others really are wildcards.

She led John B out to her small car, a baby blue Beetle. The boy smiled at her choice in car,

“I’m sure that a kook like you could afford better than this.”

“Don’t insult Shelby in her presence, weren’t you ever taught manners? Now get it and give me directions.”

The drive was fun, not that John B would tell Y/N that. He enjoyed her music choice, Mac Miller blasting from her speakers and the windows were fully rolled down, damned be her hair.

Y/N neared the chateau and came to a stop. There were a few people sitting on the porch, looking over in confusion.

“Yo, what’s with the kook-mobile, John B?” The blonde yelled from his seat on the beaten-up couch.

When John B only turned to Y/N to say thank you, the interest peaked on the porch. The little gang of pogues moved towards the car.

“John B, I didn’t realise your job came with a taxi service, why did I have to drop you off this morning?” The blonde, once again.

“Lay off JJ, this is Y/N Miller, she’s the daughter of Kevin, the guy whose boat I work on. She’s on her way to her graduation and offered me a lift.”

“Since when are kook graduations on the Cut?” The other boy interjected.

Y/N decided to speak up, “if I knew an act of kindness would cause so much strife, I’ll just let you walk home next time. Now, I do have somewhere to be, so it was nice to see you, John B. I'm sure I’ll see you again this week.”

“Bye Miss Valedictorian, good luck with your speech,” John B said, getting out of Shelby.

“You’re the valedictorian?” Kiara finally spoke, face shocked.

“Yeah, surprising what happens when you show up for school right?” Y/N snapped, angrier than she intended.

“Oh yeah, sorry. I guess I thought that maybe Sarah would get it, especially if Ward has anything to do with it.” Kiara grimaced, she didn’t mean to offend the Miller girl.

“You can’t buy the valedictorian title, well I’m sure you could, but not to flex, but my grades were miles better. If we’re being really ironic though, Ward technically does pay for the valedictorian,” Y/N said with a smile, not meaning to brandish her academic success in their faces.

A chorus of “huhs?” from the pogues surrounding her car told Y/N that they weren’t catching her drift.

“I’m Ward Cameron’s assistant. Sorry, I didn’t make that very clear.”

“You have a job, but you’re a kook?” the blonde, JJ, said.

“Yes, blondie, some of us do have to look out for ourselves, didn’t your parents tell you not to judge a book by its cover. I’ll see you around. Bye John B.”

Y/N backed out of the road, heading back to Figure Eight, with her graduation starting in 10 minutes, she had massively overstayed her welcome at John B’s. If she weren’t so busy, Y/N always thought she’d like to be friends with John B and his crew, they had an unmistakable family bond that Y/N craved. She loves her siblings but they are still grappling with the idea of give and take, mainly fixating on the taking aspect.

Y/N pulled up to school, and took out her phone, dropping a text to Anderson pleading with him to at least make it to two classes today. Even with her phone safely away in her bag, Y/N couldn’t quite bring herself to get out of the car. Happy families surrounded her everywhere she looked, she couldn’t handle the stares when she walks in alone. Well, it’s now or never she says to herself.

Walking isn’t as bad as she suspects, Mr Morgan, her English teacher, meets her at the door and takes her to her seat, explaining the mechanisms of the ceremony and when she’ll make her speech.

The hall, however, is the reminder that Y/N was dreading. The two seats she had booked for her parents sat empty, standing out like a sore thumb in the packed hall. She made her way to the student section with her head down. However, before Y/N could sit she was apprehended by an excitable Sarah Cameron.

“Y/N! Hi! I heard you’re valedictorian, well done! I don’t know how you managed, with all the work and your siblings, you really are amazing.”

“Thanks, Sarah.”

The words sting, despite their pure intentions. She’s a kook, she shouldn’t have to work, and she should have parents who care for her and her siblings, but some things just aren’t meant to be, clearly. Y/N sat in her assigned seat and willed the ceremony to go fast, though she wasn’t looking too forward to her speech. The diversion to the chateau meant that Y/N had no time to look over it again.

The ceremony started and the hall quietened down. Principal Stoney started her opening speech, basking in the spotlight when the hall door bursts open and interrupts. In the doorway stands Anderson. His hair is disheveled and the clothes are torn, probably from the nightly activities with the skateboard he held in his hand. The boy scanned the hall, eyes falling on the empty seats with the name Miller and then Y/N herself. He gives her a small wave and pushes past the Figure Eights families to the seats.

Principal Stoney just restarts, a slight bewildered look on her face.

When it was time for her speech, Y/N didn’t even feel real, like she floated to the stage and was possessed. Her speech went well from what she could gather, Mr Morgan gave her a thumbs up and Anderson hollered, much to the dismay of the families around him. But he was even worse when she received her diploma.

As families spilled onto the field for fancy food and photo opportunities, Y/N wrangled Anderson to the side before he could raid the food stalls.

“Anderson, what the fuck? First you didn't come home last night and then crash my graduation?”

“Hey, I’m sorry about last night, me and the boys got carried away skating and I crashed on Oscar’s couch. I’m sorry, I should’ve called. And as for now, you think I’m going to let my smart-ass VALEDICTORIAN sister graduate without anyone being here to holler? You’re dead wrong.”

The sentiment fills Y/N’s heart with joy and tears threaten to spill. Anderson’s never been good with feelings, it was nice to know that he did care.

“Mum and dad can go fuck themselves, if they don’t see how great you are then they’re blind.”

“Thanks, bug. It means a lot. Now don’t eat too much, people are probably already annoyed that you’re here.”

Anderson shrugs, he couldn’t care less what they thought, he was here to eat and show off his sister.

“Congratulations Y/N!”

The voice of Y/N’s boss, Ward Cameron, was easily identifiable. Y/N puts on her confident face and turns to see the whole Cameron brigade, minus Wheezie.

“Thank you, Mr Cameron.”

“You know, I just don’t know how you get it done, working for us and dealing with your siblings…” Rose says, the last part fading out as she watches Anderson walk back to his sister with his arms piled high with fancy horderves.

“It’s tough, yeah, but what wouldn’t you do for your family?”

“Of course, of course, sorry for any implications, where is the old man, I know Julie is off on business, but Kevin has to be proud, I didn’t see him in the hall?” Ward’s voice feigned sincerity, but the Miller siblings saw right through it. Before Anderson could respond, Y/N replied.

“Dad is also doing business on the mainland, at the last minute. He’s devastated, really,” it's not convincing, even to her. Y/N can tell she hasn’t convinced the Camerons either. Sarah gives her a sad look, Rose attempts to mirror her step-daughter but fails, Ward looks slightly smug, like he’s trying to hide it but Rafe doesn’t even try to hide it like his dad, a massive smirk on his face.

“What are your plans for the summer Miller?” Y/N is surprised when it’s Rafe who asks the question.

“Well, I’ll be working for your dad, if he’ll have me, I still have my volleyball coaching in the tourist season and there’s never a dull moment with these around,” Y/N puts her arm around Anderson.

Looking for a quick exit, she looks at her watch.

“Oh, if we go now, you can still catch your last two periods. Kids, am I right?” She gestures at Rose and Ward, “we’ll be off now, I’ll see you next week?”

The Camerons nod as Y/N pulls Anderson away and towards the car park. But before they can fully escape, they’re stopped by Mr Morgan.

“You think you can leave without a photo and a proper goodbye, I didn’t think you were that kind of girl, Miller.”

“Of course not, Mr Morgan, here,” she hands Anderson her phone, “take a picture please.”

Anderson does so, taking about 50 at once.

“Okay, okay, let's get one of you two, you can’t not have a proper graduation picture, especially not when you’re valedictorian.”

Mr Morgan takes the phone and smiles at the siblings. When the impromptu photoshoot ends, Y/N is glad, despite it pushing back her escape.

“Y/N, on a serious note, you are always welcome in my classroom, you’ve been a pleasure, and don’t tell anyone, but you were my favourite. And you, I hope you’ll be just as good next year sir,” he says turning to Anderson, “although considering you’re here and not in class doesn’t bode well.”

“Thank you, sir, really. But you are completely right, and that’s why we’re bouncing now, so he can get two at least two periods.”

Mr Morgan smiles at the two when they start to run to the car. He’s always felt sad for the eldest Miller, and her parents absence did not go unnoticed.

------------------------------------------------

“I’ll see you later, I know you guys will probably crash a kegger, but at least come home before you go?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, who knows maybe I’ll see you there?”

Anderson laughs and gets out of the car, he knows his sister won’t especially when Peach will be home. Y/N watches him go into the building and stays a couple minutes to make sure he doesn’t sneak back out when he thinks she’s gone.

But Y/N barely gets time to breathe, as she’s down to the elementary school to pick up Peach. The girl in all pink is waiting with a gaggle of friends and shrieks when she sees the blue car.

“Y/N! Y/N! I got the “most improved” in drama!”

Y/N opens the door and picks up Peach, spinning her round and congratulating her.

“Well done, bubs. This calls for a celebration, it’s the first day of summer and the boys won’t be out for another couple of hours - what do you want to do?”

Peach doesn’t even need a second to think.

“Lemonade stand!”

Huh? Y/N was prepared for an answer closer to maybe a princess party or surfing lessons, but a lemonade stand?

“Are you sure?”

“You said we could do whatever I want!”

“Okay, okay, let’s go then we’ve got a lot to do.”

Satisfied with getting her way, Peach got in the car and demanded that the next stop was the craft store.

-------------------------------

The next 90 minutes were gruelling. Peach spared no expense, Y/N was lucky that she still had the credit card Julie gave her. But she knew it would all be worth it. And it was.

Peach chose a spot right in the middle of the beach and the stall was already making a profit. Y/N knew kooks just couldn’t resist the temptation to look good and what was better than giving a generous tip to a child’s lemonade stand?

But with a successful kook-trap came the kook assholes. Namely Rafe, Topper and Kelce.

“Three lemonades please. Apricot, right?” Rafe said with a smirk.

“You know it’s Peach asshole.”

“That’s a bad word, Y/N,” Peach mumbled, clearly upset about being called apricot of all things.

“Yeah that’s a bad word, Miller, you should listen to Apricot a little more.”

“Maybe, you should listen to your college professors, oh wait, you dropped out, my bad, must be a bit of an open wound judging by the look on your face. I bet daddy wasn’t impressed.”

“Excuse me, you bitch, how dare you talk to me like that.”

“Run along, lap dog, we don’t need your money.”

Rafe goes to say something but Topper and Kelce hold him back.

“Bro, don’t get it shit with your pops over a fucking lemonade,” Topper warned.

With a final “fuck off”, Rafe Cameron stalked away to his car, his gang of cowards following, but not without Topper placing a crisp $20 bill in the tip jar. Peach mumbled and thank you and Y/N just nodded to Topper, too tired to say anything more.

And if her afternoon couldn’t get any worse, the prickly blonde from this morning strolled over to the stand.

“I’ll have four lemonades please.”

Peach gasped and accepted his money right away, getting to work on the drinks.

“I’ve seen many a kook-trap in my time, Miller, but not many operated by Kooks themselves. Impressive ingenuity.”

“Thanks - JJ, was it? Peach here won “most improved” in her drama class and this is what she wanted to do in celebration”

“Cute, Miller, didn’t take you as a softy earlier.”

Peach announces that she’s finished with the pogue’s drinks, he puts another $5 in the tip jar and grabs the drinks.

“Miller, there’s a kegger at the boneyard tonight, wanna come? I’m sure at least one of your brothers will crash.”

“Sorry JJ, someone’s gotta look after the little one, maybe another time, if you can stand being around a kook for that long.”

“I think I can make an exception, especially if they look like you Miller,” he winks, “boneyard tonight, if you change your mind.”

Y/N blushed, but she knew she couldn’t, she couldn’t leave a nine year old at home, even if Kevin was there, there was no guarantee that Peach would be fed and given adequate attention.

“He’s pretty, you should go.”

“Peach, honey, you know I can’t, I can’t leave you at home.”

“But I could go to Jenny’s, she’s having a sleepover tonight, I forgot to ask earlier, I got too excited about the lemonade stand.”

“Okay, you can go to Jenny’s, but promise not too much candy?”

“Only if you promise to go with him tonight.”

Peach was proving to be just as mischievous as her brothers.

“Okay fine.”

“Go tell him then.”

“Huh?”

“I won’t believe you unless you go tell him now that you'll be there!”

Y/N groans, but gets up to follow the blonde. As she nears, she shouts,

“Hey JJ! I’ll be there tonight, at the boneyard, I’ll be there.”

“Didn’t take too long for you to change your mind then, am I just that irresistible?”

“No? What? Of course not! It’s just Peach - she’s a master manipulator, and she’s only nine!”

“Sure, Miller, if that’s what you want me to believe, I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

Y/N turned, she should cringe, but she finds herself blushing as she walks back to Peach.

“Don’t say anything, missy, you’ve done enough, let’s pack up and get you ready for Jenny’s. You young ones are such troublemakers, damn.”

A/N: I am not American, so I hope that the graduation stuff makes sense, from someone who has no real clue what happens there lol

#obx #outer banks #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #obx imagine #outerbanks imagine #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #ward cameron #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x reader

114 notes · View notes

ldouble · 3 years

Text

Slumming It | Kevin Atwater X Reader (Chicago PD)

summary: When pulled into an undercover op for the Intelligence Unit, you couldn’t be more excited. The only person who catches your hesitation is your boyfriend. A lot is unsaid in the bullpen, your relationship being one of them.

gif is not mine :)

“You keep looking at me like that and they’re gonna know you’re slumming it with a uniform.”

Your words were punctuated by the complete zip of the knee high leather boots. But it wasn’t till the hell smacks the concrete of the locker room does Kevin look up at you, unimpressed with your statement.

You tilted your head at him, hoping it aided your humor. All it did was send the little eye contact held fleeting.

“I’m not slumming it with a uniform.” Kevin shook his head toward the ground, until he realized what he just said. “I’m not slumming it with you, either.”

Your hands found the other boot, a sigh escaping your lips at how much the tight fitting accessory is going to fit. “You’re tripping up, Atwater,” It glided up with little effort, giving you the chance to cross your legs and look across the room. “I can see Ruzek getting on your ass already.”

“Can you stop with-”

“Or is Halstead sending a sly smirk at you?”

Your light heartedness has no place in the backlit changing room and even little place in a situation like this. Joking about your boyfriend’s friends finding out about his relationship, with you standing there dressed like a hooker, all while working an undercover op...you should’ve stuck with commenting about how the color of the dress did absolutely nothing for your eyes.

Still, Kevin would’ve found a way to call you out. He was quiet but that just meant he spent more time listening. He was done with your ill timed jokes.

“Sorry.” You bit your lip, knowing you pinched a nerve. You didn’t know what to worry about more - the way you just embarrassed yourself in front of a member of the Intelligence Unit or how you insulted your boyfriend.

You hated that the latter took priority.

You found Kevin’s eyes, too dark to read. But the look he was giving you - an analytical gaze mixed with what looked like frustration with the furrow in his brow - had you resorting back to your go-to.

“We uniforms aren’t used to working anyone other than a partner.”

You could hear the worry in your voice growing as each word entered the space. If the tone didn’t solidify his assumption, the choked laugh you gave did it. Nothing said “Can I do this?” like a meek laugh.

Girlfriends worried.

Cops did no such thing.

Straightening your posture you released your hair held in a tight ponytail. Shaking it out, you offered a smile. “Having your team at my disposal just got to my head for a second.”

Kevin pursed his lips, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. He looked great, done up in his own undercover wardrobe. Of course, his wasn’t as extreme as yours.

You were pretending to be a hooker. Short dress, fishnet stockings and heels that were nearly half your height. And that wasn’t including the heel. You hadn’t looked in the mirror after Trudy bombarded you. The amount of lipstick you could just feel on you made you want to wipe it off.

Kevin on the other hand was just supposed to be him. Tall and handsome, a drink of water to fit in right among the elites of this Hookah Bar you were raiding. Minus the badge, you could’ve sworn this look of a blazer and dark jeans had made an appearance at your front door. As well as your bedroom floor at one point or another.

He walked forward, hands finding your shoulders gently, his eyes pouring into yours. He took your breathe away. Or maybe that was the anxiety creeping up on you.

“We’re not at your disposal. We’re on your side.” You couldn’t help but lean into his palm as it crept up your shoulder. “We have your back.”

“Better you than this dress.”

Again, he didn’t find it funny. You sighed, nodding in all seriousness. “You have my back.”

Giving up on the idea of convincing him with a look of complete and utter confidence (you were saving that for the mission) you strode past him, grabbing the furry white jacket off the end of the bench.

On your way, you gave him some of the rope to tug at.

“That easy to tell I’m nervous?” You asked, slipped the fur over your shoulders.

He followed your steps, the pink handbag looking teeny in his grasp. “You uniforms got no damn poker face.”

You chuckle at that, feeling better with him in a joking mood. It was forced, you could tell by the way his tongue was sticking out between his lips, but you didn’t call it out. Humor came to everybody in their own ways. Yours was easier to cling to.

“Yeah, well without a uniform I’m sure it’ll get better.” You accepted the bag, twirling it in your fingers.

“Better?” Kevin asked with offense. “Gonna be the best. Why else would we bring you up?” He whispered in your ear as you made your way to the garage.

You pretended to think for a second before turning around, tiptoeing backwards and tracing his collar.

“For you to oggle me.”

The sound of the door opening snapped you back to reality. This was work. You might’ve been pretending to be a hooker but you weren’t on the job yet. Definitely not with a colleague who you would never do such a thing with.

Kevin caught the door, holding it open for you. As you walked past you gave your best respectable-just-another-day-in-the-office smile. But upon his next words, it was hard to keep it up.

“Like I’d show them I’m slumming it with you.”

----

Slumming it, you were definitely not.

You had quested the expensive dress placed in your locker. Why did a hooker did a $500 piece of clothing that barely covered her ass? Because as a high class hooker, expensive taste breeds....expensive tasters.

Men. With money.

But there was only one man you wanted.

He had money, sure.

But he also had guns.

A whole warehouse and business of illegal firearms. Chicago, ever the “Heart of America” was this guy’s selling point. Everything shipped here and then shipped out.

But a man he was. A man with needs. Expensive needs on short time. Besides, he had cash to burn. Made sense he booked it to this club, paid for a girl, had his way with her, and then was onto a business deal with a couple AK-47s by dawn.

Lucky you, getting a front row seat to it all.

You really hoped all you got was a seat. You really didn’t want to have to go to bed with this guy.

Jay would hopefully make sure of that. Imploring a deal on this guy’s “night out”. Who could resist making some money while spending it on something as pretty as me?

You gulped, remembering your first date with Kevin. He paid for the meal, quoting something similar. He couldn’t believe I had said yes to going out. He insisted on paying.

Tough as nails he was in his bullet proof vest. Beneath it, a teddy bear with manners of every mother’s dream.

“Aye, mami, how you doing?”

You turned to the fourth? fifth? guy who approached you, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. He was security, like every other guy who had hit on you yet, and not your target.

They really thought protecting their bosses wasn’t their job. Trying to catch the runner ups was their priortiy.

“Looking for something a bit better than that.” You heard Ruzek say over the comms.

“She’s got standards,” You looked over your shoulder toward Kevin, posted at a table near by. He sent a quick wink before finishing his statement. “As every girl should.”

“High ones, too.” You whispered.

You knew he was rolling his eyes, more so at you chiming in than your hint at your secret boyfriend’s height, but missed it since your view became full by another presence.

“Hi to you, too.”

Bingo.

You smiled at the man you had waiting for all night. One glance at his opening jacket, shimmering from the gun strapped in on both sides, and you knew this was the one. You’d been studying his face for weeks, of course. But nothing said arms dealer like...arms.

Arms that you felt wrapping around you.

Arms that you had to embrace.

It wasn’t the guy that had you nervous. Or the situation. Hell, you felt fine pretending to be a hooker. You had your team behind you.

You also had your boyfriend watching. That’s what made you resistance to accepting the embrace, taking in the fluttery whispers, and nodding at the invitation to his booth.

It was one thing to go undercover and flirt. A whole other when doing it in front of the one person you were undercover with and wanted to flirt with.

You were a cop first, you reminded yourself as you sat down on the plush velvet sofa. You were a cop, you repeated at lips found your neck.

Where the hell was Jay? Swooping in to make this deal? Get you out of this?

“Hey man, hate to intrude here.”

You froze for the first time at the sound of that voice.

A voice you loved to hear. But not here. Not with some other guy all up on you.

The dealer let his grip loosen on you and as he turned toward the newest addition to the booth you got your first clear look at it.

Your secret boyfriend.

Currently playing an undercover role he was not assigned to. All while you were undercover as a hooker attempting to get in good with a well known criminal.

The rest of the team was having just as much of a frenzy on your ear piece. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jay panicking, not so much as ten feet away.

Kevin must’ve beat him to it.

Something told you it wasn’t the want to be the bad guy. Rather, break up the bad guy and you.

He had your back. Too much this time.

The target felt the same way, attempting to shake him off and coming back to you for more.

Your eyes met Kevin’s - more hallow than earlier - over the shoulder of the suspect. It sent you freezing again. What were you to do? Blow cover to save a relationship just as hidden? Or keep this going and lose something you never would’ve really had?

“I like seeing you work.” You giggled, gently pushing him off of you. Your eyes glimmered with fake admiration (really anxiety bubbling up) but it did the trick. You didn’t even have to use your line about how you would work for him later.

Taking the bait, he spun and began chatting with Kevin.

Unfortunately, he liked his work and play mixing. A hand found your leg, circling your knee. Kevin’s gaze never left the dealer’s but you could tell it was killing him. The toothpick, which had been loosely hanging out his mouth earlier, was now being gritted together so loud you could hear it over the music.

What was more obvious than his clear discomfort? The hand sneaking its way up your leg. No amount of disco lights or smoke from nearby bongs could hide the manly grasp on your thigh.

Even when he lifted your skirt up you couldn’t flinch. He was so close to admitting it all. He’d skimmed the numbers and the details but if Kevin pressed a little bit harder...

“Tell me more.”

Kevin’s eyes had swiftly found the connection on your leg. It wasn’t obvious enough for concern but his tone was. It was distant. Unfocused. Everything a dealer didn’t want in a deal, no matter the environment.

“You don’t seem interested in enough.”

“I am.” You giggled.

Damn. You were too quick to jump. He gave you a disapproving look and you could see it all falling. Everything you had worked for. Gone because you were trying to protect this case more than your real relationship.

“Not as much as me, girl.” Kevin spat.

He caught both of your attention’s, scooting closer. “I want armory. I know you have it. I can swear on the things you’re gonna do to this girl tonight, you can get it to be by tomorrow.”

OK, you weren’t the only one putting work before romance.

The thought scared you for a second but you had more to worry about. Most importantly, the feverish squeeze of your thigh that bloomed from the exciting prospect of a business deal.

The guy said it himself, shaking hands with Kevin and giving all the details we needed for a case.

You were stunned how good this was going. It was all falling into place.

Kevin seemed just as shocked too, sitting there silently...which was very unlike the bold player he was pretending to be.

Of course, no story has a perfectly happy ending.

The fault in the plan, the lack of calling out the safe word to trigger the team flying in.

The word slumming (your choice) barely crossed your mind before the guy’s lips were on yours and he was hurting you with such force.

You felt trapped for what felt like eternity (with your boyfriend looking on at least) but what was really seconds before he was ripped off of you.

“Get your hands off of her!” Kevin threw the guy on the ground, the gun in his belt loaded and aimed at his head.

He looked back at you once his hands were up, breathing heavy. OK, it had messed with his head as much as yours.

A little too much, though.

Because the next thing you knew, Kevin was kicked to the ground and the dealer was grabbing his own gun.

Thankfully, you were wearing a uniform more fit for the job.

In seconds you clashed with the arms dealer, hitting down hard on his hand to realize the gun in his grasp while simultaneously grabbing the other pistol from his pocket. Just as you lifted it up to aim it, Kevin was forcing him onto the booth, hands behind his back.

“Chicago PD!” Had just left your lips as the rest of the team came by. You breathed out, no longer having to play it cool.

Kevin was also given a break when Jay came in to take him away. In two steps he was in front of you, releasing the gun from your hand and pulling you close.

“I’m never letting you out of that uniform ever again.” He muffled into your head before tipping your chin up.

You smiled, cutting the distance between your lips till they grazed his when you spoke. “You can try all you want but I know you love seeing me out of it.”

Kevin pulled your close, squashing whatever space lay between you two.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Ruzek called out with a holler, bringing you both to reality.

Out of the corner of your eye. you saw Kevin stumble a hand flying over his head as he thought on his feet.

You took a step forward, a hand on Kevin’s chest. “Kevin is slumming it with me, a uniform.”

Laughs erupted from the team, Voight shaking his head.

Kevin saddled up beside you, pulling you close once again.

“How many times I gotta say I’m not slumming it with you?”

“A million. “You shrugged. “I did have to lower my very high standards for-”

You words went unfinished as his lips found yours again.

You didn’t mind, thought. There’d be another undercover case sooner or later. You could tell him then how it was you who lucked out.

The End

#kevin atwater #kevin atwater x reader #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic #chicago pd one shot #jay halstead #adam ruzek #hank voight #chicago pd nbc #kevin atwater one shot

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kevindayisafrog · 3 years

Text

Part 2 of the post that was supposed to be a one shot inspired by @knandersonart ‘s art on Instagram (I have too many ideas for it to be left as a one shot, babe, I’ve got a whole book planned)

TW - abuse, anxiety and mentions of Dr*ke

Kevin had been at Palmetto for over a year now; alone and in fear. He tried hard to fit in with the upperclassmen but his short temper and constant panic left a huge gap between them that no one had tried to fill. He tried to get close to his father too but he knew that he’d never be able to tell him who he really was to him; he knew that his dad would only turn him away like Riko said. Kevin tried to keep in contact with Neil but their texts and calls had gone from one a day to one every few months. Everything was falling apart and all Kevin could do was watch as he fought like hell to climb back to the top. And the top is where he is now, but this time the podium he’s standing on is for him only, Riko can’t pull him down. Until Kevin’s alone with his thoughts, then he remembers how small he is against Riko’s power and ruthless abuse. Kevin felt himself slip further into the darkness around him when the championships were announced, something to finally concentrate on and a place where he’ll finally be with his Neil again; even if they’ll be against each other.

Kevin stared blankly at the empty bus seat in front of him as he sat at the back of bus alone; distantly listening to the upperclassmen’s idle conversation as the foxes made their way to the banquet. He couldn’t sit still as fear warred with excitement in his tight chest. He placed his AirPods in and called Neil, knowing that he’d see him in less than an hour but couldn’t wait to hear his voice. He grumbled to himself when it went to the voicemail and hung up, choosing to listen to his music instead as he watched the scenery pass by in a colored blur through the window.

Kevin was last off the bus and he stood behind the other foxes as Wymack opened the storage compartment on the coach, passing their outfits to each player. Matt tossed Kevin his dark green suit before turning back and catching his own suit before it hit the ground. “Jesus, Coach, this cost me a lot of money”, Matt smiled despite his words and smoothed down his suit. Wymack retorted dryly but Kevin didn’t hear what was said as he already turned and made his way towards the stadium; his body buzzing with a distant memory of Neil’s body close to his. He pushed his way into the locker room with a sign reading: ‘Palmetto Foxes’ written in black sharpie. He quickly threw on his suit with his back to the others, ignoring Nicky’s wolf whistle as he moved to the mirror to smooth down his forest green blazer. “Where are you going, hot stuff?”, Nicky winked with a laugh as Aaron groaned and turned away from his cousin. “I’ll be on the court”, Kevin muttered as he left the locker room and walked as fast as he could to the court. It pained him to see a perfect court being used as a dance floor and dining area, but he wasn’t here to be disgusted. He opened the court door as he felt a stern hand on his shoulder causing him to flinch and duck down. “Don’t worry, it’s only me”, Wymack pulled Kevin back up and turned him so that they were facing each other, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay before you walk into the lion’s mouth”. Kevin looked up into his father’s eyes and blushed in embarrassment at the raw worry that he saw. “I’ll be fine as long as we’re not near Riko or Tetsuji”, he wrung his hands together and tapped his foot impatiently. “I’ll keep an eye on you, kid and if you’re worried in any way come straight to me, okay?”, Wymack gave a fierce squeeze of Kevin’s shoulder before pushing him through the door. Kevin turned away and made his way over to where the seating charts were. He ran his finger down the sheet until he found the Foxes’ name and made his way to the back table, freezing as Riko stood from their shared table. “Kevin, welcome home”, Riko announced in Japanese, spreading his arms in a vicious gesture of a hug. Kevin gulped and clenched his hands before taking a deep breath and making his way over to the table. “Riko”, he muttered as he sat down opposite Neil, relaxing as Neil wrapped their ankles together, “the rest of my team are just coming”. Riko barked a shrill laugh as he sat down and leaned towards Kevin, “me and Jean were just talking about how we’re surprised you guys made it into the championships, what with your small number of players”. Jean looked up and sent Kevin a subtle shake of his head, mouthing a small ‘I’m sorry’. Kevin sent a small smile back before turning to Neil, ignoring Riko’s annoyed frown. “Hi”, he whispered, running his ankle up to Neil’s thigh. “I’ve missed you”, Neil replied in French, reaching down and squeezing Kevin’s ankle under the table. “Hmmm, so we’re doing this now? Speaking other languages so I won’t understand”, Riko nodded slowly before laughing and curling a large smile, “your mother would be so disappointed in your disobedience. If you’d shut up we’d all hear her turning in her grave. Even though we’re so far away from her”. Kevin tensed and clenched his jaw, trying not to give Riko the satisfaction by showing his anger.

“Riko, it’s so lovely to meet you, Dan Wilds”, Dan led her team to the table and scraped her chair back, sitting down with her hand extended to Riko. Riko looked at her hand in disgust before shaking it with a fake smile, “I hope you’re looking after my Kevin for me”. Matt sat beside Dan and laughed sarcastically, “he’s not yours anymore, he’s ours”. Riko dropped Dan’s hand onto the table with a thud and turned to Kevin, “weren’t you just telling me how much you hated this team and that they’ll never win the championships?”. Kevin sat up straighter and smiled, “no, I wouldn’t say that and do you know why, Riko? Because although these aren’t the best players, they’re the strongest I’ve ever met. They use their teamwork to push back and fight to win their deserved place at the top. You won’t be smiling so wide when we beat you and win the championships”. Riko’s smile fell and he grabbed Kevin’s left wrist in an iron grip, “don’t fucking push me tonight, remember that you’re my pet. I won’t hesitate to put you down, do you hear me? One wrong move and I’ll bring your whole team down with you, see if you’re so brave then”, he growled in rapid Japanese. Nicky looked between the two before placing his hand over Riko’s and digging his nails in deep, “I’d advise you to take your hands off of him or I’ll break it off”. Kevin turned to Nicky in surprise and was shocked enough to let his long lost genuine smile get plastered across his face. Riko pulled his hand away and glared at Kevin, “you’ve deluded these jokes into thinking that they’re better than they are. You’re getting cocky, Kevin, what will you do when they turn you away like they inevitably will?” Andrew elbowed Neil to get him out of the way and leant on Neil’s hunched back, “now, now, Riko, let’s not throw your toys out of the pram. I told you what I’d do if you messed with my family, do you really want to test my word?”. Riko tensed and slowly turned to face Andrew, “One more word, Andrew and I will get an old friend over to play with you. Drake must miss you”. Andrew flinched at the name and let out a long medicated laugh, “try me” he growled. Neil shouldered Andrew off and stood up, ignoring Riko’s glare, “I’m going to the bathroom, try and fucking stop me”. The foxes watched in silence as Neil left the room without a single glance back to the table. “Your pets aren’t as loyal as you thought, are they?”, Dan asked and she tapped her nails against her glass, “must suck when everyone turns their back on you”. Riko growled in annoyance, hating how he’d lost control of the situation and his words were thrown back at him. Kevin stood up quickly, knocking his chair onto the floor with a loud clatter as he left the table, half running to the bathroom and ignoring Wymack’s shouts of concern.

“Neil?”, Kevin called into the seemingly empty bathroom, pushing open the stool doors slowly. “I really did miss you”, Neil walked around from the corner of the room and stood on his tiptoes to wrap his arms around Kevin’s neck, “I actually missed your irritating shouting and obnoxious presence on the court”. Kevin let out a small huff as he brought their lips together, smiling into the kiss of ‘hello’. “I hate you”, he whispered into the kiss, knotting his fingers in Neil’s orange hair. “Sure you do”, Neil replied, purring as Kevin tugged lightly on his hair. Kevin pulled away first and stared down into the ocean blue eyes before him, the auburn eyelashes fluttering his eyes back open. “Neil”, Kevin started but Neil let go and walked away to the sinks, “please just hear me out”. Neil sighed and turned on the tap, “Kevin, not now, can we just have this moment? Stop trying to ruin everything”. Kevin frowned and followed Neil, leaning his hip beside him at the sink, “I don’t ruin everything”, he muttered. Neil placed his hands under the tap, refusing to look up at his pouting boyfriend, “you know that’s not what I meant”, he sighed and dropped his hands to the bottom of the sink, “I can’t come back with you”. Kevin groaned in annoyance and pushed off of the sink, pacing his way back to the stools, “why not? Why the fuck not, Neil? Nothing is stopping you and even if something was you wouldn’t care anyway”. Neil turned the tap off and slammed his hands against the ceramic, “for fuck’s sake, Kevin, are you being obtuse on purpose? If I could go, I would. Do you think that I enjoy the nest? Do you think I like you being so far away from me? Because I fucking don’t, it’s hell”. Kevin laughed flatly and crossed his arms, half turning away, “you can come with me, you just don’t want to”. Neil pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighed heavily, “why do you always twist things? Listen to me”, he dropped his hands and marched over to Kevin, pulling his arms apart forcibly, causing him to flinch, “listen, I hate not being without you, okay? And I know it makes you cringe when people talk like this, but I can’t live without you and I hate to admit, I really do, but I need you. I’m trying so hard to get out of there so you’re not alone anymore and Andrew’s helping too. We’re so close to getting out, we just need to be patient and wait a little longer before we can be with each other again, okay?”. Kevin dropped his head and Neil stood on his tiptoes so their foreheads could touch. “I hate being alone”, Kevin whispered, “I’ve never been alone before. When my mom found out who Tetsuji really was, who his family were, she exiled us to Ireland and never let me leave her sight. She took me everywhere with her, not even trusting teachers to look after me at school. But she left to go to the shops in the next town whilst I was sleeping and Tetsuji paid people to stage a fatal car accident. After that day I was with Riko and he wouldn’t let me leave his sight either, so I don’t know what to fucking do. I’ve never been alone before”, he sniffed and let out a small whimper. Neil gently placed his hands either side of Kevin’s face and placed a small kiss on the tip of his nose, “you’re not alone, I’ll never let you go”. Kevin lifted his head and turned to look away, “but you are leaving me alone”. Neil shook Kevin’s head and pressed his own head against Kevin’s ribs, “I’m trying, I really am”.

They stood in silence as Kevin hesitantly wrapped his arms around Neil’s shoulders. “I know you are, I’m sorry, I’m just scared”, he placed a gentle kiss atop Neil’s head and rocked him side to side slowly. Neil hummed and looked up, taking in his boyfriend’s worry filled eyes, “that color looks good on you”. Kevin frowned and looked down at his suit, “I wanted to wear red but I don’t really suit it”. Neil snorted and pulled away, turning to walk to the bathroom door, “you suit red, Kevin, trust me”. Kevin watched as Neil left the bathroom with a wink and couldn’t help but feel alone once again, a heavy feeling weighing on his chest. “Thank you”, he whispered with a small smile to the space Neil left behind as Riko kicked open the door with two broad shouldered Raven players behind him.

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cucumbers-and-olives · 3 years

Text

Enemies to Lovers Part 3

masterlist <<part 1 <part 2 part 3 part 4 (coming soon!) >

Summary: You leave the Gillespie house and head to the airport with Charlie after an eventful two weeks. While at the airport, your flight gets delayed and you learn of some interesting news...

Category: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff

Fandom: JATP

Paring: Charlie Gillespie x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings/Includes: arguing/fighting, small panic attack, cringy songs i wrote

A/N: so... i can never post on time. and i know its been a while since i posted the last chapter. i really hope you guys like this chapter! please reblog and comment and let me know what you think! your support means everything, and keeps me going, so thank you.

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: thank you to @wrhen for giving me help and feedback with this chapter!

AO3 link here (coming soon!)

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 @cucumbersandolives. Thank you!

Ice & Fire, and Enemies to Lovers are both my own songs that I wrote. All song rights go to me.

“Charlie! Y/N! Your cab is here!” Ms.Gillespie called. You checked under the bed one last time before grabbing your suitcase and backpack.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality Ms.Gillespie,” You said, walking up to her. “If you hadn’t invited me I would have spent Christmas alone, and this was so much better.”

“Christmas alone? What a loser,” Charlie remarked as he put his bag into the trunk of the cab. You just rolled your eyes.

“Charlie, be a gentleman and grab her suitcase.” Ms.Gillespie said with a calm yet authoritative tone. He grabbed your suitcase and did as he was told. “I’m sorry about him, but I’m happy you had a good time. Maybe you can join us next year?”

“I would be honored,” You said, taking a last glance around the house you had stayed at for the past two weeks.

“Hey! Let’s go!” Charlie hollered from outside. “We’re gonna miss the flight!”

“Thank you, Ms.Gillespie,” You adjusted your backpack and stepped outside to the man who had become a whiny teenager.

“Finally,” He said as you sat down. “She’s my mother, not yours.”

“I’m sorry about him,” You said to the lady in the driver's seat. “We’re all ready to go now, sorry for the wait.”

She nodded and began to drive. The scenery was nice, but it only took a couple of minutes for you to start yelling at Charlie.

“Fuck this,” You pulled out his earbud. The niceties could stop now that his mother wasn’t here. “I have tried to be nice to you this whole time, but now I can say this: You want to act like a little boy throwing a hissy fit? Fine, be my guest. But at least do it in someone else’s company, I have been nothing but kind to you, you-” You almost cussed again, but you reined yourself in. He was worth your anger but not that much of it.

He just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Whatever you say, princess.” His words, taken in another context, could have easily been mistaken for something other than the daggers they were.

“It’s delayed,” He said, and that simple fact destroyed the rest of the day. “The plane has some issue. They think it’ll be at least two hours, if not more.”

“God, every time I try to like airports, something bad happens,” You said, slumping back into the uncomfortable airport chairs. You knew it wasn’t the airline’s fault, (well it kinda was), but you needed to get back to work. You fiddled with the cord on your headphones before putting them back on.

“Ah- Not so fast,” Charlie said, blocking you from putting them on. He showed you who was calling him. “If I have to talk to the boss man,” He said, referring to Kenny, “Then you do too.”

“See but I don’t,” You said, as you received a different call. “I have a different boss to talk to.”

“I mean, I’m not your boss-” The girl on the other end of the phone said, but Charlie cut her off.

“Are you actually going to talk to Jadah?” He said, about to accept Kenny’s call.

“No, Charlie. Sav’s phone died, so you talk to your boss and I’ll talk to mine.” You walked around for a bit to find a quieter corner of the airport.

“You okay, Y/N?” Jadah asked, finally.

“No, but that's for another time. What’s up?”

“So… Kenny is telling Charlie about the song showcase, but there’s one thing that he’ll leave out.” She said, leaving you on a cliffhanger.

“That is?” You said, prompting her.

“I- I may have slipped him your demos?” Jadah said slowly, and at that moment, all sense of keeping up public appearances went out the window.

“Jadah! Those were not yours to share! In any capacity!” You took a deep breath and asked your first question. “Where did you get them? I thought that the sound guy and I were the only ones with copies?” “I may have bribed him for a copy,” She said sheepishly. Even though you couldn’t see her, you knew she was nervous.

“Jadah, I have one other question.” You paused, trying to figure out how to ask nicely. “Which songs did you give him? Cause if you gave him Enemies-”

“I gave him Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers, and I can’t remember the third one. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.” You were, a little bit. “Can you put Savannah on the phone though?” She gave a quick yes, and you could hear the phone being passed between hands.

“Y/N?” Savannah said.

“Did you know? A-about the demos,” You clarified.

“I knew you recorded them, and Jadah had me listen to them. You are amazing!”

“Thank you,” You said. “Uh, E.T.L. isn’t finished yet, but I had the time in the studio so I recorded it.” “Y/N, if you want to be a songwriter, you would be amazing!” She said, but you could tell what she meant.

“I won’t leave you in the middle of a show, Sav.” You were honest with your words. “I know.” She paused. You both knew what amazing opportunities would open up if you did. “Hold on one second, I’m going to go on mute really quick, okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You could see Charlie coming towards you. His walk had a purpose, but one that was unknown to you.

“Hello, Mr.Ortega! How can I help?” You put your hand out to Charlie, signaling to him that if he talked he would be dead as Kenny spoke.

“I’m not sure if the girls have told you, but we’d love to have you perform your songs at the showcase.” He said, and you chose your words wisely, so that way Charlie wouldn’t know.

“I’d love to! What time, and which ones would you like to hear?” You asked, as you pulled out a pen and rolled up your sleeves.

“Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers or uh, E.T.L., I believe that was how Jadah referred to it?” He said, and you could tell he wasn’t sure what to call it.

“Yeah, I can do that, any others?” You said, scribbling down quick abbreviations of the titles.

“Oh there was one more, How to Be a Heartbreaker, I loved that one.” He said, pausing. “And I believe that Jadah mentioned that you had a few others? If you want to pick one or two, that would be great!”

“Alright! I know it’s weird to ask this, but no one has given me any details, so what time is the showcase, and where is it?” You asked, excited for the opportunity to perform.

“4:30 this afternoon, in dance studio A.” You wrote down the time quickly.

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be landing from my flight only an hour before that.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“You can do it.”

You scoffed a bit as the call ended. “Fuck.” You cussed under your breath.

“Wow, you talked to Kenny, and that's your response to a conversation with him? Anyways, I’m going to grab a coffee, want one?” He offered.

“Uh, I’ll just take a muffin, if they have one.” As you walked away, your brain was moving a mile a minute as you tried to figure out how everything would work.

“C’mon Y/L/N, if there’s one thing you can figure out, it’s making this work. You can do this.”

“Owen!” You said, running over to him.

“Hi!” He said giving you a hug, and then he looked at you. “Sav told me, you look like a mess.”

“Yeah, I know. Look, can you fix my necklace?” You said pointing to the jumbled mess it had gotten into around your neck.

“Yeah, ‘course, turn around,'' He said, and you did so. He got surprisingly close as you moved your hair away from your neck, and as he fiddled with it, you could see Charlie out of the corner of your eye. He had a look that you couldn’t put your finger on, but it almost seemed like… jealousy?

“All done!” He said, patting you on the back.

“Thank you,” You said, adjusting your sweatshirt a bit.

“You got this,” He said, grabbing your hand. “Okay?”

“Okay-” You said, but Kenny’s voice rose above everyone else's.

“Hello everyone! If you could turn your attention to the mirror, that would be great!” Everyone’s eyes turned to him, standing on a chair with a mic in hand. “Here's how this is going to work. I’d like our lovely leads to come to the mirror. Anyone else who isn’t singing can stand off of the dance floor over there,” He pointed to an area.

“If you are singing, you can follow me,” Paul said, raising his hand.

“Okay, go!” Kenny said, and as you followed Paul, you could hear him as a question. “Where is Charlie? Jeremy, check that bathroom, and Owen, look in the break room.”

“That was amazing Anna! Okay, who is next?” Kenny said, motioning to the person in front of you to come out. “Ah, Kevin, what do you have for us?”

Kevin began to talk, but it was hard to hear anything over your beating heart. You tried to take deep breaths, but it just got louder, and your worries began to overwhelm you. You took a step back in the line, making your way to the back. That would give you some time to overcome your worries before you went out there.

The line seemed to move a warp speed, because before you knew it, Kenny was calling your name.

“Y/N? Are you back there?” He asked, and you could hear everyone start to whisper when you didn’t respond.

“Yeah, gimme one second!” You said, fixing your shirt a bit. You got this. You can do it.

As you stepped out onto the stage Kenny’s face lit up. “There you are! How was the flight?” His eyes were kind, but as you looked into the audience, there were many shook faces.

“It was rough, but I’m happy to be here,” You said, sitting down in the chair in the middle of the stage. You kept taking deep breaths, trying, desperately to calm your nerves.

“I know you have a couple, so whenever you are ready, just say the song's name, and what characters you wrote it for,” Kenny explained. You looked around to see who was there. There was the choreo team, some Netflix executives, the lead cast, and a couple of other people who you didn’t recognize.

“This is lce & Fire, and I pictured Alex and Willie singing it.”

“Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They won’t bring us down

Not a disgrace

We’ve made mistakes

Our love is strong

So sing along

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They can’t pull us down

Runnin’ from our past

Met in a crash

Through thick and thin

We can win

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

The forces pullin’ us together

Can’t stop, won’t stop

Oh hold on a little longer now

We’re Ice & Fire

(Fire)

Two parts of one

(One)

Can’t you see the passion in my eyes

Of Ice & Fire.”

As you finished, the final chord rang out from your guitar. The room was silent until Kenny spoke.

“That was wonderful! Booboo, Owen, what do you all think?” He said, turning to the actors for their opinion.

Booboo nodded to Owen. “Well, I think that your song embodies the characters really well. Uh, I definitely would love to sing it in the show, and I, uh personally can see our characters singing it. You wanna go?”

“Yeah, I agree with Owen on so many levels. I’d love to sing Ice & Fire, if that's okay with you Kenny,” Booboo turned to Kenny and the smile that was on his face was slowly mirrored on yours.

“Let’s do it! You wanna sing any others?” The room held its breath waiting for a response. And so did you.

Your first song had passed the test. Made it through. Your knee started bouncing again and you looked up to Savannah.

You got this. She mouthed.

You cleared your throat and moved the capo on your guitar. “Yeah, uh, this one is called Enemies to Lovers, and I didn’t write this one about any specific characters so it can be changed to fit any of them.”

You started singing and getting into the song. A door creaked open and you looked up, curious, and you continued to sing and play.

It was Charlie. He looked like a mess, like he had just gone to hell and back. Moving among the cast to find his seat, he didn’t notice you singing. Until you started the chorus.

It’s like we’re written in the stars,

Enemies to Lovers

Swinging past the bars,

Baby, we’ll discover-

You, me, we’re not so different,

You, me, we always win it,

You and me, we’re better than we seem,

Enemies

He watched you as you sang, and you, in turn, watched him. As you went into the chorus for a second time, you saw something change in his face. A realization or something, and you turned back to face Kenny as you finished the song.

We are written in the stars,

That's how we became

Well, what we are

Bicker hard and far,

Maybe we’ll discover-

You, me, we are different,

You, me, we can’t beat it,

You and me, we’re worse off than we seemed

You strummed your guitar, leaving the song and the story unfinished.

“That was amazing, unfortunately, I don’t think we have space for it in our show.” He smiled. “Someone will contact you about using Ice & Fire.”

The panel along with the rest of the room, packed up their things and started to leave until just you and the main cast remained. You started to walk out of the room when someone called out.

“Y/N! Wait!”

It was Charlie.

You looked at him, “Yes?”

“What the fuck was that song? Who’d you write it about?” He asked, like a love struck boy.

“I wrote it about you, duh!” You watched his face turn into one of- slight happiness? You laughed and started to walk away. Of course, he would think it’s about him, but why would it be? “Fuck you, Charlie. I didn’t think you were that self-centered!”

“I’m not!”He countered, and you stopped walking to look at him.

“Really? Cause only a self-centered person would ask me that… Or, do you have a crush on me? Aww, that’s so sweet!” You mocked. “See you around, lover boy.”

I really hope you liked that chapter! Let me know what you thought!

Join my tag list here, or send me an ask! Send me an ask to be removed.

If your url has a strike through, please message me.

JATP: @n0wornever @calamitykaty @screwunsaidemily @crybabyddl @badwolf00593 @dream-a-little-bigger-x

ETL: @yagorlemmalyn @ifilwtmfc @kaitieskidmore1 @p0gue420 @robbstarkmademedoit @lukepattersonsimp @honeyheartzz @notasoftie @winterwallacehenderson @jatp-musician-spirits @nani-2305 @boggie-brainrot

Charlie: @thesweetestsinner

#cucumber writes #enemies to lovers pt ♾#julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #jatp rpf #charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #x reader #opj x reader #owen joyner x reader #julie and the phantoms fanfic #enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers fanfic

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ssa-sugar-tits · 4 years

Text

♡ the bau + their kinks ♡

HC Request: here

Hi! I requested this before but sometimes people don’t receive them (idk why) but can I please get what kinks you think the team would have and if they’re a don or sub? Like I think that Spencer would be a dom w a breeding kink, Emily dom w a degradation kink, etc etc.

warning: nsfw

♡ Emily:

Dom

-likes to be in control of her partner

-wants to see you writhe under her touch

-won't let you cum until you're a hot begging mess for her

Degradation kink and overstimulation kink

-"you're such a dirty whore for me"

-"my baby's a perfect slut"

-"pathetic"

-"bet i can make you cum again"

-loves when shes fucking you after you've already orgasmed and you're an incoherent, whimpering, blubbering mess for her

Definite fan of toys during sex

-specifically dildos she uses the fuck out of

-she has a vibrating one

-a double sided one for you and her to use together

-a strap on to fuck her frustrations out on you when she's angry

-at work, at her mother, anything at all. she wants to unwind on her baby

Bonus

-she loves oral sex

-very rough and good at it

-but seriously so rough

-she'll suck and bite your boobs like they're her last fucking meal

-when eating pussy she won't come up for air until she's tasted your juices all over her tongue

♡ Spencer

Switch

-everyone automatically thinks he's a sub and he can be sometimes

-but sometimes he wants to be in control and let his dominant side out

-and he'll go all fucking out

-shoving, spanking, holding your wrists above your head, burying his tongue and cock inside of you so fucking hard

Praise kink and Possession kink

-giving and receiving praise

-wants to know he's doing well and you know that you are too

-any time his mouth isn't on your mouth or body he's telling you how good you're doing

-its so dirty but sweet and loving at the same time

-"fuck i love when you do that"

-"you look so beautiful covered in cum"

-really just sweet dirty nothings

-and the possession thing? comes from when he's insecure or jealous (i mean of course, you're all his but he likes to be reminded)

-"who do you belong to?"

-"you're all mine"

-"no one else fucks you like i do"

Definite fan of hair pulling

-both ways

-less nsfw but likes having his hair played with in general

-probably picks haircuts depending on how much you'll have to have to tug at while you're fucking

Bonus:

-absolute king of aftercare

-"do you need anything?"

-lots of pet names and soft "i love you"s

-soft rubs and kisses everywhere

♡ JJ

Sub

-she wants you to rail her and make her yours

-mark her, fuck her like the helpless slut she is

-oh my god she loves scissoring

-clearly shes on the bottom

-more on that in this next section

Degrading kink and choking kink

-she's the one being degraded

-repeats your dirty deprecation back to you

-"yes ma'am/sir, im such a little slut"

-"punish me please"

-back to the scissoring:

-while you're doing it you have a hand around her neck and the other pleasuring her more

-rubbing her clit and hole, bringing your fingers up to her mouth so she can taste herself for you

Definite fan of spanking

-being bent over and smacked while your other fingers are curling up inside her pussy? unmatched

Bonus

-mirror sex

-so she can see all the love marks you're leaving on her petite gorgeous body

-and watch how undone and pitiful you make her

♡ Hotch

Sub

-ok i know i know but hear me out

-he's got this tough persona but he totally wants to be topped by his partner

-he'd growl for you and listen to your every command

-he'll even lick the tip of a strap on if you want him to

Daddy/Mommy kink and Edging kink

-"yes daddy" or "yes mommy" when commanded to stay still or get in a position

-"you like when mommy/daddy does that?" and he'll respond eagerly for you

-he'll whine and groan but he loves when you leave him on the edge of coming and stop just before

-teasing and building up to that final release

Definite fan of sexting

-he'll painfully keep a straight face when you send him pictures during a case

-wants you to tell him all the dirty things you'll do to him

-can't wait to get home and let you satisfy the bulge that grows and aches for you all day

Bonus:

-he wants to be fucking pegged

-and office sex?

-"Y/L/N, i need to see you"

-he'll close his blinds and you that's all the invitation you need to ravage him on his desk

-"stay quiet aaron"

-"you don't want everyone to know how loud and needy you get for mommy, do you?"

-he watches your ass when you walk out and then goes back to doing paperwork like you didn't fuck him senseless just a few minutes before

♡ Derek

Dom

-i honestly see derek as pretty vanilla (not that it isn't good fucking sex)

-but he's the dom during it

-i say his preferred night of sex is pinning you down and fucking you for a few rounds

-just wants to hear those pretty moans and feel you tight around him

Humiliation kink and public teasing kink

-he will 100% try to get you going in public so he can give you what you want when you get home

-not shutting down women that flirt with him in front of you

-clearly not flirting back because he loves you but watching your face when another woman trails a finger down his arm

-getting real close and whispering

-"you jealous baby?"

-doing innocent things that seem dirty coming from him, totally on purpose

-no one would think he was taunting you by eating watermelon at a team barbecue or asking you to bend over and grab something he dropped

-but he knows what hes fucking doing to you

-and what it does to him

-the second you're alone together he wastes no time taking his cock out and pounding into you

Definite fan of facials

-he wants his cum all over your face

-dripping down the sides of your mouth

-splattered on your cheeks and chin

-watching you lick it off your lips smugly, knowing you were a good girl for him

Bonus:

-shower sex

-holding your wrists above you and fucking you from the back

-the sound your wet ass makes when his skin slaps yours

-he loves it

♡ Penelope

Switch

-the girl loves to be in control and kinky as fuck at times but loves to be a bratty little sub too

Brat kink and bondage kink

-she's real creative

-and such a tease

-such a fucking TEASE

-"or what?" is hummed innocently many many times

-blatant flirting

-like "im so wet and tight for you right now" in the middle of a conversation

-if you have rules with her

-she'll break them just to be punished

-did i mention she's a fucking teasing little brat

-but when she's the dom

-she's tying you up, blindfolding you, etc., etc.

-she'll strip you down and fuck you so well

-but she's still a little brat so she'll tease and go slow and you can't do anything about it because you're restrained

-once she's done with you she'll ride out your orgasm and kiss you everywhere in the process

Definite fan of bringing food into the bedroom

-we've all seen the flarpy blunderguff episode + her whipped cream makeout session with kevin

-it's pretty safe to say she wants to experiment with food often

-covering your body with fruits and sweets

-and taking her goddamn time trailing her tongue down your body, sucking lightly with every treat

-and you doing the same to her

-it's everywhere and you're all for it

Bonus:

-cuddling naked

-every once in a while burying your face in her tits or trailing a finger on her pussy

-before eventually falling asleep in each other's arms after fucking like heaven

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saharamae21 · 3 years

Text

We Were Wild - Prologue

Hey guys. As you may be able to tell, I am a HUGE Minnesota Wild fan. A huge hockey fan in general. I decided to write a fanfic about the Wild and Kaprizov (the love of my life). I’m writing this for my own entertainment but I also hope you guys like it. Even if you aren’t a NHL fan, I think this will be a cute love story. You don’t need to know the players.

Thanks guys.

Also the title will probably change... Haha.

____________________________________________________

Prologue:

The cold always felt like home to me. Winter always made me happier than the summer ever could. With winter came skating and hot chocolate. It also brought blizzards and freezing temperatures, things that often reminded me of myself…

I woke up with the air feeling extra heavy within my room. The humidity would not let up, especially during a Minnesota summer. On top of that, my air conditioner sat broken in the window, mocking me.

I could hear the sounds of rush hour beginning. I pulled my curtains open to see the city bustling around me. I smiled down at the busy street below me. Whenever I looked out the window at the traffic below, I felt on top of the world. Something about the busy city made me feel at home. After spending my time at college up in the northland, I was happy to be back in the cities.

I let out a yawn and made my way down the hallway. I could see my college best friend and current roommate pouring a bowl of cereal out of the corner of my eye as I slipped into the bathroom.

“Kat! You aren’t really going to spend the rest of your summer in an ice rink, right?” Eliza yelled across the apartment at me when she heard the faucet running. I chuckled as I splashed the cool water on my face.

“You know I love hockey,” I retorted, grabbing my toothbrush. I heard her snicker and told me to come eat breakfast before I left. I shook my head though. My stomach was filled with butterflies at the idea of starting my new job.

I pulled my long brown hair out of my face and up into a high ponytail. I couldn’t have it getting in the way today. I applied a small amount of makeup before really looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled, trying my hardest not to look too tired.

“Come at least sit with me while I eat breakfast!” Eliza whined. I chuckled and walked out to the kitchen. I filled a glass of water and sat down next to her. She rolled her eyes when she saw the excitement in me. “You know they only want you because of the new Russian kid they’re bringing in. You’re basically going to be a translator, Katerina.”

Sadly, she was right. They hired me as a photographer, but they asked me to help their newest rookie out. I had a feeling that pictures would be lower on my task list then I had initially expected.

They hired me because I had hockey photography experience from college. I took photos for my university’s hockey team. Not to mention that they were one of the best college teams in the US. However, they also hired me because I was Russian.

Katerina Petrov, first generation immigrant. My parents immigrated to the US when I was four. My mother didn’t speak a word of English and my dad had a limited vocabulary. He basically got a factory job by saying, “I fix that for you,” and pointing at a machine. Russian was my first language and English was my second.

“I know…” I muttered. “But on top of that, they’re paying me to shoot their games. That’s my dream. Plus who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by the hottest team in the NHL.”

She laughed at my joke, knowing damn well that I was right. The Minnesota Wild has some of the best looking hockey players across North America. Still, Eliza looked at me and told me not to get my hopes up. She was right, this job might not be what I think it would be.

After she had finished eating, we both went back to our rooms to get ready for the day. She was off to her engineering job and I was heading to the TRIA Rink where the Minnesota Wild held practice. We lived very different lives.

My jaw hung open as I walked up to the building. I couldn’t believe that I was actually here. I secured my camerabag on my back and took a deep breath. I slipped my face mask on and pulled the door open.

Inside the lobby, Bruce Kluckhohn waited for me. He smiled at me as I walked in. I walked up confidently and offered him a handshake. I greeted him nicely with a huge smile on my face.

“Katerina, right?” he asked me. I smiled and held back my chuckle. Hearing my full name in an American accent always caught me off guard.

“You can call me Kat,” I said. He nodded in response and took me around the practice arena.

It was cold and empty when we got there. There was no sign of players anywhere. My head swiveled around to see everything about the room. I took mental notes on where the lights were and where the best spots to stand would be. I glanced at the plexiglass around the rink and smiled at how clear they were still.

“You won’t have to worry about that,” Bruce said as he motioned for me to follow him. I tilted my head in confusion and walked slowly behind him. We made our way around the rink and onto the bench. I could feel the chilled air radiating off of the ice. Bruce turned to me with a smile. “You will shoot from here.”

I stared at him in silence for a moment as my mind tried to process what he was saying. Why would I get such an awesome spot to shoot from? I opened my mouth to ask questions but I was interrupted by someone behind me. I turned around at the call of my name and saw someone I would recognize a mile away. Dean Evanson, the Wild’s head coach, stood right in front of me.

“Katerina, it’s wonderful to meet you,” he said with a smile. He shook my hand.

“Hi,” I said, freezing up a little bit. “You can call me Kat.”

I could tell he was surprised by my voice. I sounded very American and he was not expecting it. Even though I was Russian first, I lost my accent at a young age. I spoke English everywhere except for at home and having an accent made things harder for me growing up.

“Okay Kat,” he said, a smile on his face. “C,mon. I can show you the rest and explain things a little bit more.”

I nodded and followed him through the rest of the training facilities. It was a huge building and I could see myself getting lost before I got used to it. I listened carefully as he explained the situation to me. As I listened, I felt myself getting more and more discouraged. The reason I was here was to provide Bruce a hand. There was no guarantee that they would use my photos anyways. The main reason I was here was to help with communication between the coaches and their newest team member, Kirill Kaprizov. That’s why I would shoot their practices from the bench. It was so I could provide clarification at practice whenever he needed it.

“We really appreciate having you here and we look forward to seeing the talent you bring to our team,” Dean said as we made it back to the rink. I forced a smile on my face and nodded, telling him I would do my hardest before he walked away.

After he left, I looked out at the rink and noticed a few of the players skating on the ice. Bruce was over on the side opposite of me taking a few photos of the guys. There were no coaches around, but they looked like they were working on some drills. I walked over to the bench and pulled my camera out. I attached my 70-200 mm lens and adjusted my settings carefully. I snapped a couple of photos, observing the players on the ice. I immediately recognized a couple of them. Jared Spurgeon. Mats Zuccarello. Kevin Fiala. Matt Dumba. I could name them all. Well, all but one.

He looked young. He had to be around my age. His dirty blonde hair stuck out the back of his helmet. However, the thing I noticed the most was that he looked frustrated. He skated over to the bench, muttering to himself.

“I’m trying to understand, but I keep messing it up,” he said under his breath. However, he didn’t say it in English. This was him. This was Kirill Kaprizov.

“You’re working hard. Don’t worry, it will get easier,” I said to him.

His head shot in my direction. He had this dumbfounded look on his face as he stared at me.

“You can understand me?”

#saramae21 #mn wild #mn wild fanfic #mn wild fic #wild fic #wild fanfic #Minnesota wild #kirill kaprizov #kirill kaprizov fanfic #kirill kaprizov fic #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic

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youknow-igetit · 4 years

Text

i’ve always had the headcanon that neil learns how to pole dance and dan helps teach him and i saw someone else post something similar to it (iconic of them, really) and it made me want to elaborate on my hc

some days, neil wakes up and he can’t stand looking in the mirror

he look in the mirror and despite the scars on his face and hands and the vibrant orange hoodie and the chipped nail polish on his hands, all he sees is his father’s eyes and hair and cold smile

so he usually finds himself at the gym building, blasting music in his ears and facing away from the wall of mirrors as he purposefully overworks himself so he’s too exhausted to care about the cold smile that he knows well

either that or he’s in the basement, hitting a punching bag with taped knuckles and pretending that the canvas is his father’s face, lola’s, romero’s, sometimes even his mother’s

one morning he wakes up at four with the phantom pains of hundreds of knives wracking his body

he can’t go back to sleep, so he heads to the gym and picks the lock to the basement

he’s so caught up in his own head that he walks right past the room full of punching bags and opens the door next to it

despite it being in the basement, the room has the same high ceilings as the upper floors, maybe twenty or twenty five feet

there’s no equipment that neil can see in the dark room, nothing except for the mats covering the floor and four vertical poles bolted to the floor and ceiling

he’s confused at first but then... oh

he’d obviously heard of pole dancing as a sport, he remembered seeing the words on the gym directory

but actually seeing the poles, he was kind of intrigued

but he backed out and went into the right room and ran himself down, and despite heaving on the floor, he felt like he could finally breathe

he was exhausted by the time the exy team started trickling into the main gym to do their workouts, but he honestly didn’t care about the stern talking-to kevin was attempting to administer

over the next week, inexplicably, neil’s mind kept going back to the room with the poles. he found himself watching pole dancing competition videos and tutorials and reading articles on different products that help to stay on the pole

on another one of Those Days, he finds himself purposefully breezing right past the boxing room and opening the door to the pole dancing room

he turns on the light, which is still dim, and walks nervously up to the pole in the far right corner

he’s bad at first. not as bad as he thought he’d be, but still bad. youtube isnt exactly the best coach

but he comes back the next day. and the next. and it eventually becomes a regular thing as he becomes better at it. sometimes, when his school workload isn’t heavy, he spends his free periods between classes practicing.

he never sees anyone else there, no matter what time, and he likes it that way. he gets more confident in himself, eventually ending up stripping down to just his briefs as he learns new moves

he doesn’t tell anyone about it. it’s not that he’s ashamed, but the idea of the ex-mafia kid exy player spending his free time pole dancing? it was a little embarrassing

like andrew knows in general where he is at those times but he doesn’t know/care what neil’s doing there. he guesses its just more things to do with exy

and kevin is suspicious but when is he not

but all in all no one finds out

until

one day it’s like three pm and he had the most annoying argument with the TA and he’s still pissed as he descends the stairs to the basement of the gym, just wanting to dance and blow off some steam

he bursts through the door and stops abruptly as the person whirls around

“dan?”

“neil?”

they both kind of just stand there for a moment before neil’s like “sorry, i was--uh, the boxing room is right next to this one and--”

“you were planning on boxing?”

“uh huh”

“in skinny jeans?” dan raised an unimpressed eyebrow

neil glanced down. he was wearing skinny jeans. “um.”

neil shifts nervously. “what are you doing here? nobody ever goes in here.”

“I was just--” dan pauses. “wait, this is where you’re going when you disappear?”

neil rubs the back of his neck. “kinda, yeah”

“kinda or definitely”

so neil tells her everything, about how he’s been going there for months and teaching himself how to dance and whatnot

dan is highkey impressed and asks him if he wants her to teach him anything

“what?”

“I used to be a stripper, neil.”

“oh. right.”

“no, you’re okay. it’s just... i kind of missed it. not the stripper part, but during the day, when the club was closed and my sisters were teaching me. it didn’t feel like it was for anyone. it was for me....it was liberating.”

neil nods. “i get that”

so dan ends up joining in on his practices more often than not

at first neil’s kinda uncomfortable being so physically exposed around someone that wasn’t andrew

but he finds a weird comfort with dan, both of them in just their undergarments swinging around on poles in a big empty room with music playing out of one of their phones

dan ends up teaching neil a bunch of moves she knows, like how to bend over upside-down and spin with just thighs

“and if you twist like this, it shows off your ass”

they also end up talking a lot, about random things, but dan also tells him a lot about her stage sisters and what her high school life was like and in turn neil ends up talking a bit about his life on the run

they also end up talking a lot about their relationships, like how dan learns that andrew likes to snuggle (dan is astounded) and neil learns that matt sleeps with his socks on (neil is apalled)

some of the foxes notice that dan has joined in with neil’s disappearances and she tells them that she’s teaching him “how to be a captain for you assholes. it’s hard fucking work, i’m giving him seminars about you little shits”

but one day matt comes up to neil during practice and he’s like “hey neil can i talk to you”

and neil’s like “you’re talking to me now”

“no i mean like later”

neil’s like ?? but he agrees

after practice everyone leaves the locker room except for matt

he nervously sits down on the bench so once neil’s done he hesitantly sits next to him

“what’s up?”

matt’s acting shifty and weird and isn’t look at neil’s face

“so um, i need you to be honest with me, okay? and i know you wouldn’t do this, but i’ve been having doubts and i just--” matt sighs. “is dan cheating on me with you?”

neil is... absolutely pissed

“what the fuck?!”

“i mean, like, you guys have been disappearing off on your own and then you come back sweaty and flushed--”

“we work out together”

“but she’s always smiling and content after!”

“i literally have a partner”

“that doesn’t stop a lot of people, neil”

“don’t you remember that i don’t swing? dan’s like my sister, matt” neil is surprised when he says it and finds that he’s being truthful. “dan loves you. she’d never hurt you like that. stop selling yourself short.”

matt nods and neil leaves

the next time dan and neil practice together, the next day, dan asks him about matt and neil tells her everything

“i think he’s just paranoid that you’re leaving at the end of the year” neil spins around and hooks his ankles around the pole

“yeah... i’ll talk to him” dan sighs and wraps an arm around the pole and hoists herself up a few inches

“if you’re fine with it, he can come to our next practice”

“you’re sure?” a few weeks ago, neil had told dan how insecure he was about his scars and they both enjoyed the privacy they had at the practice room

“yeah. it’s just matt”

they twirl around for a while, soft music playing from dan’s phone, the artist singing something about being sorry that she fell in love with someone while they were in a hotel room

“what about your boy?” dan asks

“what about him?”

“does he ever doubt you?”

neil shrugs, as well as he can while upside down “we trust each other”

dan thinks for a minute. “are you going to show andrew too?” dan motions to the room with her foot. “i’m fine with it if you are”

so later that day, back at the dorm, neil turns in his bean bag and asks andrew if he wants to come to his and dan’s next practice

andrew replies with a “not particularly”

“don’t you want to see what we do?”

“not really. you don’t ask me to watch renee and i spar.”

“yeah but that’s cause it your guys’ thing. also, dan and i definitely don’t spar”

“it’s still your thing.”

“i wouldn’t ask you to come if i didn’t want you to”

andrew looked at him before saying “you’re insufferable.” neil knew that meant he’d be there

so the next day finds dan and neil leading matt and andrew down their familiar basement path

andrew shows no reaction to the poles except for a quirk in his left eyebrow (neil knows he’s very surprised)

matt, on the other hand, says “this is what you guys have been doing?”

neil nods and takes his shirt and pants off, which leads to another shocked sound out of matt and another raised eyebrow from andrew. (that’s both raised eyebrows. neil’s never done that. he takes it as an achievement. andrew’s eyes tell him not to read too much into it. neil smirks)

andrew leans up against one of the untouched poles as neil talks to matt about liquid chalk as dan takes her own clothes off

matt sits down on the edge of a mat as they start practicing. after a few minutes neil almost forgets that there are two more people in the room than usual, the only giveaway being andrew’s sharp eyes never leaving him and matt’s amazed “ooh”s and “ahh”s

after the alarm on dan’s phone beeped to tell them that their hour and a half were up, matt stood up as the two stepped away from their poles

neil started pulling on his clothes as matt went “I--um--that’s--that was--”

neil picks up his bag and starts walking toward the door, knowing that andrew’s following

“don’t fuck near my pole” he calls, and he can hear dan laugh as he shuts the door

andrew is silent all the way to the dorm

later on the roof, he asks “why?”

neil sighs. “it makes my mind quiet. suspended like that, fifteen feet in the air, the only thing that’s keeping me from falling is me. it’s not like exy, where I have to rely on my teammates. It’s... it’s finding trust in my body.” he looks down at him scarred hands, at the one interlaced with andrew’s. “also my father would never pole dance. neither would my mom. god, she’d be so pissed.”

neil smiles

“what do you think about it?” neil asked as andrew took another drag on his cigarette

“it doesn’t matter what i think”

“it matters to me.”

“I hate you.”

“mmhm. don’t i know it.”

they were quiet as they watched the sun slowly dip over the horizon

“you’re more flexible than i thought”

“what’s that supposed to mean”

“it means i liked it. you are as confident at pole dancing as you are at playing exy.”

“are you telling me that you like when i play exy?”

“shut up. yes or no?” he flicks aside his cigarette at neil’s yes

a few days later, matt apologizes to neil for his assumptions. he ends up convincing neil and dan into entering a pole dancing competition that takes place a few weeks after the championship game

they end up winning third place

(the competition was recorded and put on youtube. neil’s proud. he catches andrew watching the video more than once)

(when kevin finds out about it he practically combusts and tells neil how bad it is for his exy career and what will pro teams think blah blah blah neil doesn’t care)

after dan graduates, neil and her keep up their practices through facetime

the next year they’re able to win first place

#can you tell that i'm fascinated by pole dancing??#neil josten #dan wilds #matt boyd #andrew minyard #andreil #matt boyd x dan wilds #aftg #aftg hc #andreil hc #all for the game headcanon #pole dancing is so cool i want to know how to do it so badly #why do i have to live in a town of bigots??#i just think its neat #Also the song I mentioned is 'is there somewhere' by halsey if anyone is interested in knowing #I love Matt but I also think that he's still insecure about being with an actual goddess #This has nothing to do with the post but I hc that Dan proposes to Matt

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deans-haunted-baby · 4 years

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The Ones Left Behind

Alrighty time for some truth bombs. I’ve had almost a week to absorb the end of Supernatural and season 15 as a whole. And I think this is the moment where I need to throw in my two cents. For all intents and purposes I won’t go in-depth into 15x20 seeing as that conversation will just open up a whole other can of worms and I don’t need that headache. I have my reasons for being less than indifferent with how the Winchesters’ story concluded. So I won’t go there.

Instead I’ll be focusing all my energies on the unsatisfying conclusions of 4 particular characters. Two of which were main cast members (one that was on the show 12 years and one 4 years) while the other two (played by the same dude) were brought back after a decade long hiatus for a much-anticipated comeback only to be wasted and mangled unfairly by Dabb and his hack horde of a writing staff. Call this a follow up to my last post. If I sound bitter I am because these people don’t have a single clue on how to helm these characters, their relationships or their storylines 😠 Nor do they deserve them.

And yes I’m well aware of Kevin Tran, Rowena, Ketch and several others who got the shaft on this show. Those could be future posts for another time.

But I cannot stress this enough; ADAM MILLIGAN, JACK KLINE, MICHAEL AND CASTIEL ALL DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. There is no arguing these facts, none whatsoever. Not one of these characters deserved that exit to be the final chapter in their story. I won’t do an entire analysis of each character’s arc and role in the show as I’ve already done that in my rant about 15x19. But I will highlight how much season 15 royally screwed over these characters and tossed them aside like trash; as if none of them were ever part of/contributed anything to Sam and Dean’s history/world building of Supernatural’s universe.

*WARNING* This is going to get heated.

Before I dive into the heart of these issues I want to state this is not a “shipping post”. I don’t ship anyone on Supernatural, hopefully this blog has been pretty self-explanatory. So I have no arguments/opinions in those areas. I’ve been a fan of this series for 15 years because of the characters, the familial bonds and relationships formed between characters throughout its run. And I’m well-aware that the Winchesters are the lead protagonists of the show, no need to remind me. These are purely my own thoughts based what I’ve obtained from show canon. Let me just say I can’t get over just how much these writers contradicted and ignored what they put forth in the journeys of these four individuals. its a real headscratcher.

You mean to tell me that after TWELVE DAMN YEARS of Castiel being a rebellious warrior angel, searching for his own identity and meaning in life; making that promise to Kelly Kline about raising Jack as his own/risking his life for him. After sacrificing himself for his son a year ago, acknowledging he was satisfied with his role as a father which restored his faith; that it was all because of/for Dean Winchester?

You mean to tell me that after Michael, THE PRINCE OF HEAVEN and PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY, was locked away in a cage with a human whom he emotionally bonded with for thousands of years (10 years our time); who was abandoned, betrayed and manipulated by his neglectful/abusive father. After choosing free will and aligning himself with TFW for humanity’s sake, just sided with the Earth’s destruction because his little brother called him names?

You mean to tell me that Jack, A THREE YEAR OLD CHILD, who’s barely just beginning his life and spent his entire duration on the show wanting to be normal and not wanting to be special. Connecting and being integrated with humans; a child who’s biggest fear was outliving everyone he ever loved. Is suddenly ready to walk away from his family, his home and his teddy bear; to give up being a kid forever and run the universe?

You mean to tell me that Adam, SUPERNATURAL’S MOST INNOCENT CHARACTER and FORGOTTEN THIRD-WINCHESTER BROTHER, after being eaten by ghouls; pulled away from his mother out of Heaven, manipulated by angels, trapped in Hell for thousands of years because Sam and Dean left him there to rot. After coming back and helping his neglectful siblings save the world only to be ripped away from his best friend and THE ONLY OTHER PERSON who gave a damn about him; is sentenced to a life of loneliness, homelessness and turmoil until he dies and ends up in Hell where he’ll mostly be tortured and turned into a demon?

NO. I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT!

Season 15 not only manages to contradict itself where these characters are concerned (while assassinating them before the final curtain). But the writers deliberately discarded them before giving us that *sarcasm inserted* epic solo-Winchester conclusion. Regardless of how you feel about Adam, Castiel, Jack or Michael, ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS are connected Sam and Dean’s story and part of Supernatural. And when you throw them away like they mean nothing, you’re essentially throwing away a part of the show’s history. You’re ignoring 15 years worth of story building.

As I said I’m not going to go into 15x20 for reasons, it doesn’t offend me as much as what was done before that finale. Because I think those other show exits really affect 15x20 even worse than people realize. You want to know why, I’ll explain.

Lets start off with Castiel and Jack, OH BOY! We know where they end up; running Heaven and the Earth together which is all fine and dandy. I love my Dadstiel father/son duo being an endgame family unit. But here in lies the problem, we never saw it. Not even a cameo. And technically their onscreen storyline ends at 15x18 and 15x19 which is an ugly, anti-climatic bookend to an incredibly deep relationship that had 4 years of development. First you have Castiel who completely forgets why he made that deal with the Empty to begin with. HIS FUCKING SON. Not to mention it wasn’t about true happiness it was about giving himself permission to be happy; there is a difference. And then you have Jack wandering around next episode, vacuuming up power cause suddenly he’s a machine now, acting like he doesn’t give a shit over losing his dad to an entity HE’S BEEN DREADING ABOUT FOR A FUCKING YEAR.

Towards the end of season 15 I noticed neither of these characters were acting like themselves. Their motivations, their personalities and strong ties to one another had mysteriously dissolved. Castiel became less concerned about the danger his son was facing after 15x15 (what the hell was that in 15x17?) and more about speaking when spoken to by either Sam or Dean. Does he know how Dean truly feels about Jack; proclaiming the child is “not family”? I doubt the in-character version of him would let Jack leave with Dean after that insult. Castiel’s not even worried whether or not his son is alive or safe before he makes the big confession later. And for some reason Jack (who’d become heavily suicidal) was more concerned with clinging to the Winchesters, willing to die for them, instead focusing on himself and the one person who’s shown him nothing but unconditional love and given him strength since birth. Both of these characters are canonically depressed and suffer from low self-esteem that was never resolved which makes me furious.

When Chuck killed Jack at the end of season 14, this devastated Castiel in the first half of season 15. He actually got to grieve that loss throughout the episodes and deal with his anger over it, allowing the audience to anticipate the day they’d be reunited one last time. This part of Castiel’s S15 arc also ironically mirrors Jack’s S13 arc of mourning Castiel’s death until resurrecting him. And when this son finally returned to his father, who got to rescue him, it was such a poignant moment between the two. It was a cathartic payoff after witnessing Castiel in so much pain over Jack. There was so much building up between that Dadstiel reunion in 15x11 and the Empty’s pact in 14x08; this was suppose to be a tragic yet pivotal plot-point in both Jack and Castiel’s stories. And with SPN wrapping up we all expected something BIG. Yet somehow the writers retconned the whole thing by making it all about Dean, which is such a gross disservice to these characters and 4 years of storytelling.

For instance, since 15x18 was Castiel’s exit episode, why wasn’t he allowed to hug his son or Sam goodbye one last time? Why didn’t he have more of a focal role instead of standing around majority of the episode with barely any dialogue as so much precious air time was wasted on frivolous things? Why didn’t he get one last badass fight scene with someone like Death instead of being choked out and tossed around like a powerless mortal? Why did the group need to be split up to begin with when it served no purpose either than that *ugh* moment? Why wasn’t Jack allowed to call Castiel “dad” once before the show ended? He deserved to hear his son address him as dad!

AND WHY THE HELL COULDN’T JACK FEEL CASTIEL’S DEATH THE MOMENT IT HAPPENED?

The show already established to the audience the significant cosmic bond these two characters shared since before Jack was even born. It was so powerful it boosted Castiel’s grace. Jack could remember who Castiel was from the womb and that he’d protected his mother. Not to mention HE FUCKING RESURRECTED CASTIEL OUT OF THE EMPTY ONCE WITHOUT GOD’S POWER. You’re telling me Jack couldn’t feel his dad being taken away forever despite how far apart they were? No, he’d feel it in his heart. Had we’d been given a scene like that at the end of 15x18 (something of substance) with actual grief shown in 15x19 maybe the episode would’ve faired better for them.

That said it wasn’t, because Jack was treated the exact same way in his final exit. Hardly any lines and just a bunch of scenes of him standing/walking around until that pathetic reveal at the lake. HE DOESN’T EVEN GET TO INTERACT WITH JAKE ABEL’S MICHAEL/ADAM which would’ve been a great follow-up to the AU!Michael storyline in seasons 13 and 14. I swear these directors didn’t give Alex and Misha any motivation during their last three episodes and it’s evident in their hollow performances. But why would they when the scripts are basically telling their characters to quickly fuck off so the brothers can have their final outing. Jack doesn’t even behave like himself after he becomes the new God. His personality is apathetic, cold, alien, stiff and way too mature for the 3 year old child so closely connected to his family/the human world. In that moment I saw Alex Calvert not Jack Kline. It’s bad enough he doesn’t get a meaningful farewell but again Castiel, HIS DAD, is a complete afterthought to this kid 🥶

And that’s what we’re left with. Forever. A frigid, hollow ending to one of Supernatural’s most healthy, touching, family dynamics. It makes you wonder what was even the point. I can’t even fully enjoy the fact that its canon Jack and Castiel are together fixing Heaven because of what the show presented onscreen as their last hurrah. It’s not sitting right and it makes 15x20 even less appealing to me.

Moving onto Michael and Adam. Get ready for this. I could rant forever about how dirty my boys were done by this show. How they were discarded in the SPN series finale recap etc. just as they were FOR THE LAST TEN FUCKING YEARS. Was there even a plan going on here or was this just everyone making things up as it went? Their ending is the most unsatisfying and cruel thing because its INCOMPLETE. There is no real closure or resolution with them thanks to the monstrosity that was 15x19. AND NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO GIVE A SHIT.

Much as I’ve enjoyed this show for many years, it NEVER deserved Jake Abel, his talent or his time. I keep seeing so many anti posts about Dean Winchester’s final fate in Supernatural and all I can think about is “try being an Adam Milligan fan for the last decade”. I’ve had to watch this boy go through hell with nothing to show for it either than years of memes. ridicule and the show’s mockery in forgetting him. Actually he’s the ONLY CHARACTER in this series you’re encouraged not to remember 😡 Also quick question: why give us this really interesting and healthy relationship between an archangel and its vessel if nothing was ever going to become of it?

At this point I don’t know why Adam or the idea of him was even introduced way back in season 4 let alone revisited in season 5. Because the only thing I see when I look at this character now is SAD WASTED POTENTIAL. Storylines never explored. Relationships that never got off the ground. Backstory we never got to see (like for instance his past with John Winchester and his time in the cage). A character’s birthright (Men of Letters) that was never actualized. AND the unexplained factor that Adam could look directly at Michael’s true form without his eyes burning out (making him a special case). And the thing is he could’ve been a really great character, both him and Michael. They could’ve easily reached popular status just like Castiel given the chance since Jake is a freaking acting-powerhouse. We were given a taste in 15x08 just how awesome these characters could be and how they could’ve contributed so much to the story and its core group. But unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

Michael will never redeem himself after years of scrutiny and being made out to be some kind of unhinged monster. This show constantly enjoyed pounding into our brains how fearsome Michael was. Warned us via Lucifer (LUCIFER, PEOPLE!) that he wasn’t rational, compassionate and didn’t care about anything except war, death and destruction. And that he was incapable of feelings and emotions. This is how Supernatural saw Heaven’s Prince and guardian of the Earth. Christ, they actually did a two-year storyline about an evil Michael from the AU world who enjoyed torturing and killing while trying to destroy the universe. I want to know WHAT THE HELL THIS SHOW’S WRITERS HAD AGINST THESE CHARACTERS? Why they felt the need to bring back Jake Abel, AFTER A DECADE OF FANS WANTING THIS, if it was simply to piss all over his characters one last time before the show wrapped. This is absolutely unprofessional and childish; the fact that Jake is taking this bullshit in stride makes it all the more shameful 😡

We could’ve learned so much more about Michael’s past and his present relationship with Adam. These characters didn’t need to sit in the cage for a decade they could’ve easily been incorporated back into the show as far as season 8 or 10! And been an asset to the Darkness storyline in season 11.There were characters and storylines introduced that served no purpose. Why did we need to keep seeing characters like Charlie Bradbury or (as much as I like him) Crowley or Garth (love him too) or Lucifer or Abaddon or the Wayward sisters? I would’ve much preferred having Adam and Michael around and got to know them instead; especially after 15x08. I would’ve wanted to see what their dynamic with TFW could’ve become had they been long-time allies. Did John ever tell Mary about Adam’s existence? I’d like to see what her reaction would’ve been like had the Winchesters remembered him during that damn 300th episode. I guess that’s another loose end untied.

But because of what Supernatural did to these two characters, it forever taints Sam and Dean. I don’t think Dabb or purist fans realize this. But when new viewers come into this show about two brothers preaching important things like “saving people”, “family first” or “family don’t end in blood” they’re going to see how badly the main protagonists treated their innocent half brother. How Castiel and Jack were treated. They’re going to see the heroes of the story abandoning this kid in Hell forever with no intention of EVER rescuing him. And that’s why their final appearance leaves such a bad taste going into 15x20. Cause as much as Dabb and co didn’t give a shit about Adam and Michael they also didn’t give a rat’s ass about protecting Sam and Dean’s integrity. That’ll be a stain they can’t undo.

So through all of it, we’re stuck with the abomination that is 15x19 aka the eye-soar to an unfinished/unpolished story of two horribly disregarded characters. Michael gets the pleasure of being character assassinated right before he’s stupidly killed off instead of going out a hero or becoming the next God (as it was his birthright and the setup was there in the narrative). And Adam gets killed off-screen, OUT OF HIS OWN DAMN BODY, then brought back by Jack only to live a miserable, isolated existence since his brothers have nothing to do with him (the dog and car are more important); his best friend is dead, he has no job or money or a fucking home and he’s legally dead! Really what is there left for him besides the brutal fate awaiting in Hell when he dies?

SERIOUSLY THEY COULDN’T GIVE US ONE SCENE WHERE THE WINCHESTERS CHECKED IN ON ADAM TO MAKE SURE HE WAS SAFE?! 🤬 His last scene pretty much sums up this shit for what it is. Tragic. I feel like crying for this poor sweet boy.

Congratulations Dabb, BL and co for giving us these much deserved broken story arcs of characters you destroyed and made OOC before leaving the airways. You did your show’s protagonists justice by doing this *sarcasm inserted* after 15 years of being onscreen. I doubt these idiotic decisions are going to age well in the long run. They certainly don’t look good on the Winchesters. Anyway that’s my hot take for the day.

ALL THESE ACTORS AND THEIR CHARACTERS DESERVED BETTER.

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lils-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

Spinning Wheels

Spencer Reid x reader

Best Years Season 2 part three | part two | part one | season one

summary: a local case hits a nerve with the reader

warning: normal criminal minds things, angst, description of shooting, yk fun stuff

A/N: based on season 8 episode 8; *chanting* angry reader, angry reader!

“Penelope,” Y/N sang as she entered the woman’s bat cave. She carried a coffee in each hand, one for her and one for Penelope. “I bring you a present.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re so sweet!” Penelope gushed as she grabbed the coffee from her hand. She pulled the lid off to look inside the cup. “This is my favorite, oh my gosh, you know I-”

She looked up at Y/N to see her sheepish smile. She only brought Penelope her favorite, kind of expensive coffee, when she wanted something.

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I want!”

“I know that it’s big enough for you to bring me my favorite,” Penelope set the cup down and began typing on her computer.

“Garcia, I’m desperate,” Y/N admitted. She sat on the small open area on Penelope’s desk. “I can’t get anything out of JJ on what Spencer’s been doing up here at seven when we don’t have to be here ‘till nine. So I was hoping you can work some of your Garcia Magic and...”

Penelope stopped her typing, she knew exactly what Spencer had been doing.

Y/N noticed how Penelope stopped typing. “Oh my god, you know!”

“No, I don’t,” she lied. “Okay, well I know kind of what he’s doing, but I can’t tell you.”

Y/N knew she could get somewhere with Penelope, she was terrible at keeping secrets.

“Penelope,” Y/N drug out the name in a pleading tone.

“Uh-ah, my lips are sealed.” She ran her finger across her lips as if she was zipping them.

Y/N gave her a pout and some puppy dog eyes, but Penelope turned away and stuck her nose up in the air. She was determined to not break and ruin Spencer’s plan.

Y/N sighed, if Penelope was going to be this persistent, then she wouldn’t get it all out of her.

“Fine, then can I admit something to you?”

Penelope turned to her, hearing her serious and almost shy tone.

“Of course.”

“I, um, I bought him a ring,” Y/N confessed, wringing her hands together like she normally did when she was nervous.

Penelope gasped and a gigantic smile formed on her face. “You did!?”

“Yeah, I did, here-” she reached for her purse she set on the desk behind them- “I bought it about a week ago.”

She pulled out the grey box and revealed the simple gold band on the inside.

Penelope, extremely excited, grabbed the box with shaking hands. “Oh my gosh, Y/N!”

“Is it weird? I know it’s not normal for a girl to propose-”

“It’s not weird at all, I think it’s a great idea,” Penelope interrupted to clear her doubt. “If he doesn’t do it-”

She stopped and cut herself off, almost revealing the secret she had been trying so hard to keep.

“If he doesn’t accept it, then he’s a total loser,” Penelope stammered as she tried to correct her words.

Y/N laughed at her phrasing, and Penelope laughed too, glad she didn’t think anything of her almost slip up.

“I also got, um, I got our initials engraved on the inside,” Y/N pointed to the small initials on the inside of the band.

“Y/N…” Penelope sighed and took the ring out of her fingers to look at it. “You are so amazing, Spencer will love it.”

Y/N sighed in relief, she needed to hear that. The two kept talking and Penelope was trying to give her some ideas of when to ask him.

“Does anyone else know?” Penelope asked, handing the ring back to Y/N.

“Just my mom and London,” Y/N answered. “London actually helped me pick out the ring, we-”

She stopped herself when her eyes caught the TV.

“Penelope,” Y/N hit the woman’s shoulder to get her to turn around.

“What?”

They both stared at the TV in horror. The headline read “High School Bus Is Taken Hostage”. One cue, Penelope began to get alerts and texts signaling that they have a case.

---------------

“What we have is a school bus abduction which accrued at approximately 1 P.M. this afternoon. What we know is there twenty-four students on board, along with the driver and a monitor,” Y/N said to the small group of detectives that sat in front of her, JJ, and Spencer.

“The GPS appears to have been disabled, the last known ping was a little over two hours ago,” Spencer added.

“Highway patrol has traced the route it was last traveling but has found no signs of any accidents,” Y/N continued on their knowledge of the situation. “We also have helicopters and ground units in the D.C. area working local search and rescue. Which means we’re likely dealing with more than one unsub.”

“We’ve attempted to contact everyone on board, but so far all calls have gone unanswered,” Spencer said.

“But we can confirm that the students dropped off at the first two stops have been accounted for,” JJ added, shedding some hope on the gloomy situation.

“The average school bus holds approximately eighty gallons of diesel fuel, making it possible for them to travel up to 550 miles on a single tank,” Spencer explained, his hands moving as he spoke each word.

“Which is why we believe they’re still within a 200-mile radius,” Y/N closed as she nodded to the detectives.

“The SUVs are outside and we’ll set up our command post at central high,” Hotch said as he rushed past and to the elevators.

Spencer, Y/N, and JJ all glanced at each other, giving a look all the same. Silently saying, ‘This is gonna be a long day’.

They quickly made it down to the front of the building and into the SUVs.

On the drive to the high school, the sirens were on as they tried to make it there as fast as possible.

“Okay, thanks,” Penelope hung up her phone. “Local P.D. says they just found a backpack full of the kids’ cell phones half a mile from the second bus stop.”

“Disarming the GPS, disposing of cell phones, makes it feel less random and more premeditated,” Y/N said as she looked back at Penelope from her seat upfront.

“There were seven other buses from different schools on their route. Why target this particular bus?” Spencer said as he tried to dive into the minds of the unsub.

“Maybe a group of kids got together to pull this off?” Y/N posed.

“Waited for their friends to get off at an earlier stop, then made their move,” Spencer said as he dove more into Y/N’s theory.

“Okay, I’m checking school disciplinary records to see if I can find any recent suspensions.” Penelope pulled out her tablet and began searching.

“It could be about a specific target and the other kids just got in the way,” Hotch added his own thoughts in.

Y/N pulled her phone out of her pocket as it rang. “Hey, Blake you’re on speaker.”

“Uh, I’ve been looking over the personnel files of the bus driver, Roy Webster, something isn’t adding up,” Blake said over the phone.

“What did you find?” Spencer’s voice spoke up from his backseat spot behind Y/N.

“Over the past three years, Webster had several altercations with students, but was never formally reprimanded,” Blake answered.

“It sounds like the school hasn’t told us the whole story,” Rossi’s voice was heard over the phone.

“We know how disrespectful some teenagers can be, maybe he snapped,” Derek’s voice was heard next as he posed his thoughts.

“It could be payback for years of abuse,” JJ’s voice said next.

“What about the woman who was on the bus?” Spencer asked.

“That would be Carol Roberts, a retired teacher, assigned to monitor Webster’s bus six months ago,” Kevin Lynch’s voice said.

“What’s that about?” Rossi questioned.

“I took a bus all through high school, we never had a monitor,” Kevin said as he didn’t know the formal answer to the question.

“Makes you wonder who she was there to keep an eye on-- the kids or Webster?” Derek posed.

-----------

Y/N had sat through many family interviews before, comforting them after a loved one had been murdered or taken. She had done it plenty of times to know what words to use, how to act depending on the family, she was trained for it.

This though was a whole new level.

Her chest felt heavy as she listened to the mother explain how her son was a good kid and how it was just him and her. She didn’t know why this one particular interview was taking so much out of her. It felt emotionally draining to watch this mother cry over her young son named Billy. Maybe it was because she could relate to it.

After her older brother died and her father left, it was just her and her mom. She was around his age too when it happened.

Walking out of the classroom she had the interview in, she stalked into the closest bathroom she could find. Her hands pressed against the ceramic sink as she leaned on it to keep herself up. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the white surface tightly. She could feel her pulse course through her hands as it picked up. This was not the time to be emotional, so she didn’t let this moment last too long.

She took a couple of deep breaths, looked at herself in the mirror, and walked out of the bathroom.

She had gotten past her brother dying, sure she missed him every day, but her grief had passed. When she thought about him it was wistful and happy, so she didn’t know why this was bothering her.

She tugged at the bottom of her maroon blazer, making sure it was straight after she opened the door of the bathroom. She took two steps out into the hallway, and glanced to the left and then to her right looking to see if anyone saw her walk out. After assessing she was alone, she let out another sigh and walked down the hall to the performance room.

“Y/N,” Derek called as he jogged down the hallway.

“What’s up, Morgan?” She asked as she turned to the man coming down the hall.

“We’ve got an address.”

The SUVs and squad cars turned up the dust as they parked in front of an old barn. The team hopped out of their respected cars, pulling out their guns as S.W.A.T. unloaded in front of them.

The team stood in anticipation as Hotch nodded for the captain to open the door. As the doors swung open, the S.W.A.T. team entered and walked around the school bus that was parked on the inside.

“Bus is all clear!” Derek yelled from the inside of the bus after checking it.

Y/N followed Spencer as the two walked around the rest of the barn to check it, making sure it was clear and there was nothing else there. When they finished, they walked outside and met Blake who had just checked a shed.

The three holstered their guns as they walked over to the head detective on the case who nodded for them.

“Barn was registered to a Violet Burgin, she died a few months back. It's been abandoned ever since.” the Detective said as he approached them.

“Making this a perfect transfer point,” Y/N said as she glanced back at the barn.

Blake was about to say something, but she was stopped when the sound of the bloodhounds barking was heard.

“They found something,” Spencer said and took out his gun. The four of them along with some others in the immediate area ran towards the dogs.

They approached a wooden door that was latched closed. The Detective placed his hand on the latch, waiting for the S.W.A.T. team member to give him his cue. When he nodded, the Detective pulled the latch and pushed the door open quickly.

“Please don’t hurt us,” a young girl said as they were met with the light from the outside.

“It’s okay you guys are safe now,” Spencer said as he began to undo the bindings on their wrists.

Y/N looked up and began counting the kids in the room as quickly as she could, but of course, Spencer beat her to it.

“There’s only fourteen here, we need to find the other ten,” Spencer looked back at Blake and Y/N who were still standing in the door.

Y/N gripped her gun tighter. She let out an agitated sigh and walked away from the room.

------------

The students ran to their parents as the doors to the cafeteria opened. Y/N sauntered in behind them, watching as the parents hugged their kids, grateful they were okay.

JJ walked up next to her and sighed as they watched the families.

“Where’s Billy?” The brown hair woman who Y/N had interviewed earlier asked walking up to her. Another student, who’s name was Sean, dad walked up behind her.

Y/N’s mouth opened and closed, for the first time in a long time, she couldn’t phrase the words to tell them that their kids were still missing.

“There’s still a number of students unaccounted for,” JJ answered for Y/N, noticing that she was struggling.

When Billy’s mom gasped, Y/N’s eyes widened and quickly added, “But we’re still looking.”

Sean’s dad walked away but Billy’s mom stayed. “Oh, my god,” she muttered.

Y/N’s lips formed a tight line and she placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder to comfort her.

Once the woman had calmed down, Y/N started to make a beeline for that same bathroom she was in before. On her way there, Spencer stopped her, noticing her disheveled state.

“Hey,” he whispered as he stepped in front of her.

She sighed, she didn’t want him to stop her, she didn’t want anyone to stop her.

When she tried to push past him and continue to the bathroom, Spencer put his hand gently on her arm.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” her voice cracked.

“No, it’s not,” he said.

She let out a frustrated sigh. “I was over this, I was over my brother, I thought I was over it.”

“Your brother?” Spencer gave her a confused look. Of course, he knew about her brother, how when he was seventeen he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. How her dad walked out because of the medical bills, how her mom picked up two jobs to help pay for medical bills. How even Y/N, when she was legally allowed to work, picked up a job to help.

“One of the victims, Billy,” she let out a shaky breath. “It’s just him and his mom, and he’s about the age I was when I lost my brother, and it just hit a nerve, I guess.”

Spencer reached to give her a hug, but she pulled away.

“No, I don’t- no,” she held her hands out as if she was putting up a boundary. “I just need a second to be irritated, just give me one second to be angry at the son’s of a bitch’s who decided it was a good idea to take a bunch of teenagers.”

So Spencer did, he watched as she paced side to side in the locker filled hallway. One hand on her forehead and the other on her hip, muttering curse under her breath.

This is the most irritated Spencer had ever seen her in a case, she was so calm and collected usually. Sure, every now and then she got a little emotional, but so did everyone. This though, this wasn't a sad emotion, she was angry. Furious even.

Spencer jumped as the sound of Y/N’s boot hitting an empty trash can echoed through the hall. She stopped pacing, standing in the middle of the hallway now, her face laying on her palms.

“Okay, I’ll take that hug now.” She walked over to Spencer and wrapped her arms around his waist.

His arms wrapped around her shoulder, his cheeks pressed against the top of her head. He turned his lips to kiss the top of her head softly, keeping them there until they pulled apart from their hug.

Another reason she loved Spencer so much, he knew when to give her a second to breathe. Sure he was always there for her when she needed him, and vice versa, but sometimes she just needed to deal with her emotions on her own. And Spencer understood and respected that.

---------------

“Dividing them into groups-- you think that was to maintain control?” JJ asked as they stared at the pictures of the still missing students on the board.

“Mm, could be, but how do you explain the shock collars?” Blake asked as she remembered the collars that one of the students told her about.

“Torture,” Y/N said in a monotone voice. She stirred the coffee in her cup with a straw aimlessly, still upset about not being to find all the kids.

“Still, there doesn’t seem to be any method to how or why they were chosen,” Spencer added the thing they still hadn’t figured out.

“Okay, so far we have two white males, early twenties, and wore gas masks of all things,” JJ recapped on their findings.

“Abducting a bus, a form of transportation, gas masks, shock collars, dividing people into teams…” Rossi trailed off as he walked up to the board.

“Sounds like ‘Gods of Combat’,” Y/N muttered as she listened to what Rossi was listing, the thought just coming out of her mouth like it was nothing.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Rossi pointed at Y/N.

“Wait, Rossi-” Y/N pushed herself off the desk she was leaning on- “We’re not seriously considering-”

“That this is a video game to them? Yes, I think it is.”

Everyone in the room looked at each other, all of them knowing it made sense and it was probably the most probable with what was going on.

-----------

“These guys are replicating a video game?” Derek asked as he, Rossi, and Blake entered the room.

“In the game, you take over a form of public transportation; subway, train, bus. That’s how you get your players,” Rossi explained.

“Wait a minute,” Blake stopped Rossi. “You’ve played this game before?”

“Well, I may have once or twice,” Rossi admitted. “But so has Y/N.”

When Rossi pointed an accusing finger at her, she raised her eyebrows in shock. “Rossi, I only played it because the kids I babysat made me, what’s your excuse?”

Everyone shook their heads as they laughed.

“If I remember correctly though, the game consists of five players.” Y/N walked up to a whiteboard and pulled out a marker. “Captain, lieutenant, a pair of soldiers, and the pawn.”

She wrote each of the positions on the board.

“Maybe the unsubs picked them based on their personality type,” JJ said as she looked at the pictures of the students.

“Well, Sage and Trent-” Derek pointed to the two pictures- “are both athletic. So they probably would have been considered lieutenants.”

“Wendy would most likely have been considered the pawn,” Rossi added.

“They preselected these kids.” Y/N crossed her arms as she turned back to face those behind her.

“Probably got details about their lives from social media sites. Most teens don’t use privacy settings, anyone can gain access,” JJ said.

“They planned their attacks and struck the bus when it was the most vulnerable,” Blake nodded.

“That explains why the unsubs only needed ten of these kids and left the rest behind,” Derek added.

“So how do the collars fit into all this?” JJ asked, looking between Y/N and Rossi.

“They’re used to keep your player from straying from their mission,” Rossi replied.

“The object of the game is to destroy as many of your opponents as possible,” Y/N added on to the game.

“The one with the highest body count wins,” Rossi continued.

----------------

“So these guys just got together and decided to pull this thing off?” The Detective asked as Spencer, Y/N, and he walked down the hall back to the performance room.

“You know, something this elaborate, it’s likely they’ve known each other for years, actually,” Spencer clarified.

As the three continued to walk, Penelope appeared behind them as she walked out of the computer lab with her laptop.

“Hey, I just got off the phone with the people who produce ‘Gods of Combat’--”

“Lovely people I assume,” Y/N joked, trying to keep some light heart in the air. It was mostly for herself though, so she wouldn’t think too much about being upset.

“Uh-huh, it turns out they have six million players worldwide, 40,000 of which are D.C. residents,” Penelope continued.

“Garcia, if they’re capable of this type of violence in real life, do you think we’d see some sort of evidence of it in their gaming history?” Spencer asked, stammering as he tried to find the right terminology.

“What type of evidence?” The Detective asked.

“He’s talking about the universal online gaming code of conduct,” Y/N answered.

“Yeah, prevents stuff like harassing, threatening other players, cyber-bullying, that kind of thing,” Penelope gave some more elaboration on the subject.

“How’s that supposed to help us find these kids?” The detective asked confused as to why it was relevant.

“Instead of looking for people who play the game, we need to look for people who were kicked out,” Hotch answered.

----------------

Y/N sipped on her fourth coffee of the night. She sat criss-cross applesauce on the table next to Spencer as they waited for Penelope to come up with some findings from the new info Kevin narrowed it down to.

“Okay, a month ago two players were kicked out at the same time for hacking into hell mod,” Penelope said as she continued to type on her computer to find more. “Previous to that, they both logged thousands of hours playing the game, dating back to early 2000.”

“You got any names, Garcia?” Derek asked, back still faced to the three sitting at or on the table.

“No, just online handles, but--” she stopped herself as a ping on her computer sounded- “You know what’s weird? They were both playing from the same IP address.”

“So they live together.” Y/N peered at Penelope’s screen.

“They’re roommates, maybe?” Spencer posed, walking to stand beside Penelope as she typed.

“Or siblings,” Derek argued.

“Oh that’s not good,” Y/N muttered into her cup as she took another sip.

“It doesn’t make sense,” JJ said after those in the room caught her up to speed with their findings. “If they are siblings, how do you explain the gaps in time when they weren’t logged in at the same location?”

“Yeah, it looks like it happened several times a year, sometimes from different states,” Penelope agreed as she looked at the time logs.

“Maybe their parents got divorced.” Spencer looked up to JJ and Y/N who were currently standing next to each other.

“Maybe the parent got divorced,” Penelope repeated and began typing again. The new thought gave her a fire that had burned out after the confusion formed. “Leave it to the genius to come up with the obvious, here we go.”

As her ramble ended, two pictures popped up on the screen.

“Joshua and Matthew Moore. They both went to central high, their parents worked two jobs each to make ends meet, led to a messy divorce. Joshua went to live with his dad in Arizona, Matthew stayed with his mom in D.C.”

“That’s how they knew when to strike,” Y/N pointed her finger. “Probably rode the same bus route.”

“Long hours, different schedules, they were latchkey kids,” Derek added. “Video games became their babysitters.”

“As they got older, they got more competitive and it became more about bragging rights,” Spencer continued the deep dive of the unsubs stressor.

“This game became the core of their sibling rivalry,” JJ continued.

“But it wasn’t just a game,” Y/N corrected. “ ‘Gods of Combat’ was their one constant connection to each other.”

--------------

“Picked up a ping on the E.L.F.,” Kevin said as he entered the room. “It’s emanating from somewhere in this 25-mile radius, west of Bolivar.”

Kevin circled the area of the map he set down.

“What fits?” Blake asked as she looked down at the map.

“Well, there’s a few old factories and a couple of bunkers from the ‘70s,” Kevin replied.

“What’s this?” Y/N pointed to a building on the map.

“The old paper mill,” Kevin answered.

“You know, given the size and location, that could be the perfect spot.” Spencer used the pencil in his hand to tap the spot on the map as he spoke.

They all looked up at Kevin.

“I’m gonna pull the schematics,” Kevin exited the room to do so.

Soon after Kevin did that, Penelope was able to get in contact with one of the kids, Billy, by hacking the feed. They compared the rooms they could see on Billy’s camera and established it was the paper mill.

Then they were on their way there.

The team walked into the paper mill, mixed in between different members of S.W.A.T..

Y/N crept down the hall with Derek, each of them turning to check a different opening as they saw one. When they heard pounding footsteps, they jerked towards the sound.

“FBI, drop your weapon,” Y/N commanded the person she couldn’t quite make out in the dark, all she could see was the gun.

“I’m Agent Morgan, this is Agent Y/L/N,” Derek said as he tried to calm the boy. “We’re the good guys, now drop the weapon.”

“How do I know this isn't part of the game?” The boy whimpered.

“Kid, you gotta trust me,” Derek said, trying to make the boy back his guard down.

“Are you Billy?” Y/N asked calmly.

At his name, the boy turned to look at her, his gun lowering slightly.

“Yes.”

“Billy, you gotta trust us, you talked to our friend Penelope, remember?” Y/N spoke in a soothing tone.

“Come on, now, I know you’re scared, but don’t do anything stupid,” Derek spoke in a not so soothing tone.

Billy hesitated, still afraid this was a part of the game, but then bent his knees and put the gun on the ground. Y/N sighed in relief and was about to walk towards him, but out of the corner of her eye she saw movement.

Joshua Moore appeared, a large gun held to his side.

“Drop your weapon!” Derek yelled.

When he realized he was cornered, his finger went for the trigger.

In an almost slow motion moment, Y/N aimed her gun and shot before he could do the same thing. The bullet went right through his chest, and the blood began to spread on his white shirt.

Joshua dropped to his knees, then fell to the ground as he let out a breath of pain.

Derek rushed over to check Joshua, but Y/N’s only concern was for the teenage boy whose mom had told her about.

“Hey, Billy, it’s alright.” She grabbed his arm and led him out of the room, not allowing him to look at Joshua’s now dead body. “Your mom has been worried sick about you.”

“You-you saw my mom?” He stuttered as a smile of joy and relief washed over his face.

“Yeah,” and as they walked into the cool night air, his mom called his name.

He broke away from Y/N’s grasp and ran to his mom to give her a hug. And even though the circumstances wouldn’t normally allow it, Y/N smiled. She smiled as she got to watch the boy hug his mom, holding her like his life depended on it.

“I’m sorry, Trent,” a girl behind Y/N whimpered as a body bag rolled past.

For a moment, Y/N forgot where she was and what she had been doing, because she was thinking about the last time she got to hang out with her mom and brother together. The memory used to be painful, but now she looked back on it happily. The last time she saw her older brother smile a real smile. One that didn’t show pain from chemo, one that didn’t show he was dying, one that showed how happy he was to be with them.

-----------

Y/N closed the report from the case on her desk softly, laying her hand on top of it. She let her cheeks bubble out as she filled them with air, then let it out slowly from her lips. The office was quiet, everyone else gone. The team was still there though, finishing up some reports and the political side of the job.

“We saved them,” Spencer reminded her as he walked over, his tall figure towering her sitting one.

“Yeah, I know, it’s not that,” she confessed, but didn’t look up at him, knowing he could read her eyes like the back of his hand. Or the back of anything really, seeing as he had an eidetic memory.

“What is it then?” He asked, leaning against her desk.

“For a split second today, I forgot I was at the scene of a crime,” she finally met his eyes. “I saw Billy reunite with his mom and I forgot where I was...because he reminded me of him.”

“Your brother?”

Y/N nodded.

“Oh, sweets, it’s okay to miss him you know? He was your older brother, and it was a terrible thing that he got sick--”

“Spencer, I know that, I know all that,” she cut him off, her voice soft and not cutting. “It’s just, I don’t know…”

She rubbed her bicep with her hand and averted her gaze. She turned in her swivel chair to the family photos on her desk. In a line three photos sat; one of her and her mom at her college graduation, one of her and the team at a dinner Rossi hosted, and one of her and Spencer, from JJ’s wedding. These photos all showed people who were so important in her life, people she loved...people who were there.

“You feel guilty for not going to visit him,” Spencer said, catching onto her guilt as she stared at the photos.

“I think so,” she murmured looking up at him.

He smiled at her sadly. Reaching down, he grabbed her hand, pulling her out of her seat. “How about we go home, order some food, then tomorrow, you can talk to Hotch about going home to visit your mom?”

“I think I like that idea,” she quivered, a stray tear falling down her face. Man, was she grateful for this man.

She picked up her bag from beside her desk, lacing her fingers with his and walked out of the office with him.

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#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #criminal minds meme #criminal minds imagine #criminal mids fic #derek morgan #derek morgan imagine #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner #Penelope Garcia #emily prentiss

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jumoonjae · 4 years

Text

Consequences (M)

PAIRINGS: READER X LEE JUYEON

GENRE: FLUFF X ANGST X SMUT

REQUESTED: NO

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT

SUMMARY: You had no intention to resist Juyeon and it leads to countless bed session with no string attached. But what will happen when you're pregnant?

You were listening to one of your friend telling a funny story that just happened while he's on his way to the gathering cracking everyone in the room. It was your college classmate reunion which your friend occasionally held every once in two or three month just to catch up and you all gathered in different person’s house each time. But Changmin had held the gathering at his house for three times in the row now that he said he like having people gather at his house because it could be lonely sometimes, but this was the first time you joined at his house since you went to your mother at the first two times. Its just a gathering with few games, music and alcohol, nothing much. It was more like finding comfort in them when its hard to cope with the adulthood. Sometimes reminiscing all the stupid stuff and memories from college really help you put all the problems to the back of your mind for a while.

You took a sip of whatever the drink you were holding that was made by Kevin and was quite strong that you felt your head a little bit lighter with every word slurs from the tip of your tongue, even every word came out from your friend lips sounds funnier and you had a good laugh that evening. The main door open revealing a guy, tall, lean and handsome entering the apartment with his suit on. You two lock gaze for a while and he look away to your friend when they greet him making you turn your head to Kevin who was sitting next to you. You wait for Kevin to look back at you after greeting him and when he does you raise your both eyebrow and he gets you right away.

“Changmin’s housemate.” You nod looking back to the guy who was walking to his own room before looking back to Kevin and he give you a knowing look making you both giggling and slapping each others shoulder. About half an hour later he came out from his room sitting on the opposite couch facing you, naturally join in the conversation like he was always been a part of the group. You felt a bit distracted by him, no longer paying attention to your friend anymore deciding to steal a glances at him and when you did, your gaze meet his making you both flustered and both immediately look away. You figured he's been stealing glances too and you couldn't help to smile bashfully. Kevin noticed your shy smile and nudge your side and you just shake your head pretending to play with your phone.

“How about we go to Karaoke next?” Changmin suggested gaining a loud cheer from the other including you and Kevin. You got up from your seat taking your glass and Kevin's to the sink and starts washing the dishes that was left on the sink.

“Let me,” You look to your side and your body stopped functioning when you saw Changmin's housemate standing tall beside you and you had to take a step back to take a good look at his face which you regret immediately when warmth crept all over your body.

“I was in hurry this morning, didn't have enough time to clean the mess.” You were flustered by how close he were with you that you unintentionally stare and he does too. Maybe the time stopped between you two and for a split second you swear his eyes shifted to you lips, biting his own.

“Y/N, Juyeon, leave the dishes. We're going now.” Kevin called from the living room snapping you both from staring at each other and you both awkwardly pretending helping each other with the dishes and when he thought he had turn the cup upside down to pour out excess water from it, he hastily hand it over to you a little too hard that he unintentionally splash you with cup full of water. Yeah. He forgot. You gasp petrified by the cold looking down at your drenched blouse and half of your jeans.

“Sorry.” He was contemplating whether to wipe the mess on you or not but he decided to take the cloth behind you anyway closing the distance between you two and your body touches making you stop wiping your blouse, looking at him wide eye. You could smell his scent making you nervous and your heartbeat picking up a quick pace. He suddenly place his hand at the small of your back guiding you to move a little for him to reach the cloth and you didn't move a muscle, taken aback by the sudden contact.

“What happened?” Kevin came when you both took so long and saw your wet blouse. He exhales.

“You clumsy ass.” He clicked his tongue shaking his head with his arm crossed on his chest and you give him a threatening look making him rolled his eyes and you then mirrored his action.

“You can borrow Changmin's shirt.” Kevin suggested and you point down to your half drenched jeans.

“Right.. that's mean she's not coming. Juyeon come on.” He said knowing if once you get home, there is no way you're going out from that lair of yours.

“Who’s sending her home then?” Juyeon asked and you had to bit your lips hiding your growing smile at how considerate he was and Kevin notices that making him scoffed.

“She is very much capable of walking few blocks away from here.” He stated but an idea of hooking you up with someone came across his mind. “Unless you can be her knight of shining armor and walk her home. Alrighty then. See ya.” He waved spinning on his heels walking away without looking back as excitement crept inside him thinking that you could finally seeing someone else and let him live his own life peacefully.

“Its cold outside. You might catch a cold walking around drenched like that.” You look up from wiping your blouse and saw Juyeon walk out from his room with a neatly folded hoodie on his hand and you smile taking it from his hand muttered a thank you.

“You can change in my room.”

You walk out from his room wearing his hoodie while he still washing the dishes on the sink. You felt bad by the sight of the plate and glasses that you walked to him helping him drying the dishes. He muttered a thank you and you nod. You cant ignore the nervousness everytime your hand came in contact with his whenever he hands you the mug. You felt the tension rising between you two with the constant touching and when your shoulder bumped into each other. When your clumsy ass accidently dropped the cloth, you both bend at the same time as an instinct to retreat the cloth, your hand touches sending a vivid sparks of electricity all over your body and you flinched a little. You look up to him and he does too, his deep dark gaze send shiver down to your spine and you felt something twitched inside you, something dark, something lustful and by now you had acknowledge the effect he had on you. Maybe its his lips, the way his cupid bows perked up with every movement of his lips, maybe its his eyes or just him. Your eyes dropped to his lips, you licked your lips wondering how does his lips taste on your own lips, and how does it feels when he explore your body with those lips. Next thing you know, he leaned forward capturing you lips with his soft one.

You were taken by surprise at first but quick to join the movement of his lips, matching with his rhythm. You both stand up not breaking the kiss, and you shut your eyes as the kiss getting more and more heated. You pull his face deepening the kiss and his tongue slips inside your mouth while his hand gripping the back of your head while the other on the small of your back.

He then grab your both tight, hoisting your body up putting you on top of the counter then his lips landed on your jaw then your neck, licking, tasting every bit of your skin that had you bit your lips keeping yourself from moaning his name out loud when his lips trail down to your shoulder. You let your head fall back as you drowned yourself in his touch and kisses.

He then stood straight catching his breath looking at you straight in the eyes with half lidded eyes. He push your hair behind your shoulder before letting his hand played with the hem of his hoodie that you were wearing, slowly tucking his hand inside caressing your skin before pulling his hoodie up over your head tossing it to the side, he stared at your body causing warmth crept on you cheek, you never felt smaller under anybody's eyes before.

He lean in cupping your shoulder with his lips kissing it ever so gently and the sound of your heavy breathing echoes throughout the apartment. His hands slowly making its way to your back then grab the back of your neck pulling your body closer to him as he kissed your chest, he struggled a little trying to unclasp you bra before tossing it to the same spot where his hoodie was and plastered a kiss all over your bossom.

He nibbled your nipple slowly while his other hand massaging the other side and you couldn't keep your moan anymore and it riled him making him pull your hair back and kiss you back up to your chin. You love the way he pull your hair and suck the sensitive spot on your neck before nibbling your ear. He pick you up walking to the couch before slowly placing you sitting down on he couch kneeling between your legs.

He tug your jeans together with your panties revealing your wet core that got him smirking at the sight before pestering kisses on your knee, slowly spreading you leg while kissing your inner tight until he reaches your wet core. He let his lips ghosted over your folds as his thumb rubbing your wet clit in circular motion before replacing it with his tongue that had you arch your back to the sweet sensation.

You grip his hair when you felt his wet tongue entered you, you licked your lips at how good it felt. His tongue then played with your clit and his finger thrust into you slowly while your hips moves matching his finger.

“You're so wet.” He murmured to your pussy now adding another finger twisting it slowly to adjust his finger to your opening making you gasp, he eyed you while sucking your clit as his finger began to thrust slowly at first but getting faster when he found your sweet spot, hitting it harder when your moan starts to get louder. He could feel your wall clenching his finger and he pick up the pace while sucking your clit, biting it gently then licking it, doing wonder with his sweet tongue.

“Juyeon right there, right there. Just like that.” You moaned and his finger thrust faster while his other thumb now rubbing your clit merciless sending you up to your high. Your back arched and you're seeing stars while your leg shaking like crazy. He kissed your tight climbing up to you leaving wet kisses on your neck and your lips. He lick his finger that was coated by your arouse then shove it into your mouth smiling at the way you suck his finger.

“My turn now pretty baby.” He whispered to your ears sitting next to you and you lean in closer to him, capturing his lips into yours again pushing his body with yours until he's laying down and now its your turn to shower every inch of his skin with wet kisses and you love how his body reacted to your touch. His hands on your back while you slowly climb down with your kiss without breaking the eye contact with him until you reaches his pants. With a little tug, his cock was out and about ready for your next action.

You kiss the pink tip of his cock that was coated by his pre cum before running your lips down along his length, you lick his balls wet and he flinch to it making you smirk before sucking it, you felt his body tense and his grip on your hair tightens at every move you made with your lips while your hand stroking his cock slowly. Then you lick his cock up to the tip before sucking the tip gently like it was some kind of lollipop loving the way he look at you. His half lidded eye made him ten times hotter and you took in his full length inside your mouth until the tip touches your throat and you starts to bop your head up and down sucking his cock. Your hand played with his balls with your other hand stroking his cock at the same pace as your mouth. You let go of your hand when he took control of your pace by holding your head and moving his hips faster and push his cock deep down into your throat that had you gagging.

“Oh yes. You look so good from up here.” He said throwing his head back while his hand still controlling your pace until he came inside your mouth. He pull you by the chin closer to his face taking his shirt on the floor wiping it clean before tucking the strands of your hair that was sticking on your face to the back of your ears and kissed you slowly, so passionately that you and him both smiling to the kiss. He shift his body without breaking the kiss until you're under him and him between your legs. He rub his tip on your opening slowly, then push his cock inside you making you gasp breaking the kiss, pulling him tight hiding your whimper on his shoulder while your nails dug the skin on his back when he filled you. You shut your eyes when you felt his size filling you tight core, exhaling the breath that you didn’t realize been holding in. You felt his heartbeat beating at the same pace with yours.

“Tell me if its hurt okay. I promise I’ll do it slowly.” He said softly to your ears then kisses the side of your head and you nod. He lift his hip slowly and you bit your lips at the tight movement. His thrust was slow and steady at first letting your wall adjust to his size. He pull his body away from you and look deep into your eyes, smiling down to you and you bit your lips at how beautiful he was, he was glowing as his abs glistening with sweat. You let your head fall back taking in the sweet feeling between your legs holding on his arm letting your nails dig deep into his skin.

“Does it feel good?” He asked leaning forward kissing your exposed neck, sucking it leaving a deep purple mark that you know wont be gone next morning but you couldn’t care less. You let your moan escape your lips sounding so sweet ringing inside his ears. He then pull your leg up placing it on his shoulder thrusting deeper making you bit your lips harder and he noticed.

“Scream for me Y/N.” He whispered low and you swear you felt electricity surges all over your body, screaming onto his shoulder when he thrust faster and harder hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. Your moan filled the empty apartment and his pace become sloppier when he starts to chase his own high sending you to your won. You felt numb between your legs before feeling something that you cant even describe surging up through your back that made it arch hard then up to your head making your eyes rolled back.

“Juyeon.” Your scream laces with moan making his thrust become harder and merciless. You screamed his name again when you feel the same sensation, wall clenching his cock tightly and he came too, releasing his juice inside you. Your body trembles when he pull away and he plastered kisses all over your body until you come down from your high.

“That was amazing.” You said breathlessly and he smile contently before leaning down kissing your lips in a slow deep kiss. He then kiss your forehead before squeezing in between you and the couch and gesture you to lay on top of him and you did.

You wake up when the sun beamed from your window stirring you from your deep sleep. You felt a hand weighing on the small of your back and you turn your head to the other side to see Juyeon still sleeping. He walked you home last night after that amazing sex at his apartment, the alcohol still washing in you making you pull him inside your own apartment and had another amazing round that leads to another one and another one until the dawn break. You smiled admiring his features caressing his cheek slowly before getting up, sliping your oversize tee on, picking up his clothes that was scattered on the floor putting it on the washing machine together with yours.

You were making coffee and breakfast when you noticed he stirred from his sleep and turned off the stove. You leaned forward on the kitchen counter resting your chin on your palm, elbow propped on the counter watching him and he saw you, he covers his face with the sheet chuckling shyly and you giggled to yourself from the excitement and content from last night and the entire morning. Having someone next to you when you wake up made you happy.

“I made you coffee.” You walk to him with his mug, placing it on the bedside table and he pull you lying next to him snuggling his face on the back of your neck.

“Good morning.” He greets in his raspy voice.

“Morning.” You turn your body facing him stroking his soft hair back smiling like an idiot.

“Its Sunday, why so early?” He pull you closer and you snuggles to his chest as his hand strokes the skin on your tight.

“I’m working today.” You draw a circle on his toned chest looking up meeting his eyes with a small smile. You really want to stay and spend all day with him.

“What? On Sunday?” He shift his body back a little looking at you brow furrowed.

“Our gallery held an bidding event that i need to manage at ten.”

“Its still eight though.”

“Yeah. I need to make sure everything is in check.”

“Can I see you after work?” You look up to him from his chest smiling before heaving a long sigh. You then pull away from the comfort of his embrace standing up.

“There’s a dinner right after with the fundraiser and I don’t really know what time it'll end,” he pouted to your answer making you giggle and you lean closer to peck his nose.

“I’m getting ready. I've made you breakfast too.” He sit down and his eyes wander to the floor where his clothes should be.

“Where’s my pants?”

“Oh I washed it just now.” He looked at you questioningly gesturing down and you understands right away smiling smugly.

“I don’t mind having a hot guy walking around my house naked.” You shrugged gaining a heartfelt laugh from him. He then stand up putting the sheet around his waist walking closer to you with a smirk. With wide eye you took a step back until your back bumped into your dinner counter cursing at your small studio apartment, he cornered you blocking your way by placing his hand both on the counter letting the sheet fall. You didn't have to look down to know how erected his cock was. He leaned closer face hovering yours tickling your skin with his breath and he kiss the skin on your neck.

“Juyeon I'm going to be late for work.” You said breathlessly and let you head fall back closing your eyes feeling his lips against your skin.

“Your lips saying that but your body acting otherwise,” He said as his hand finds the way to rub your already wet core.

“Just one more time and you're free to go, i think I’m addicted to you. I promise I'll make it up to you if you late.”

“and how is that?”

“A dinner date.”

“You’re late.” Kevin crossed his arm on his chest looking at you judgingly as you run from the parking lot to the back door that leads to the storage room where you kept all the paintings for the auction.

“Just a few minute.” You rolled your eyes catching your breath pushing your hair back looking at your watch.

“Where’s the document?” He hand you the document the he's been holding and you walk to the van that was parked back facing the storage room door followed by Kevin.

“I heard from a little squirrel that his housemate wasn't home when he got back last night.” Kevin whispers making you stop momentarily turning your head looking at him, blush creep on your face.

“And?” you shrugged continue walking to the transportation where one of the guy noticed you and you nod for him to proceed loading the painting into the van.

“There’s a hickey on the back of your neck, and if I look closer, I can see bruises through that sock of yours.” You touches the back of your neck and look down to your tight and you see nothing. You shot him a look and he grinned know that he succeed in tricking you.

“Kevin.”

“Spill.”

“Its just one time okay.”

“You know one can leads to two?” He wiggled his eyebrow and you pushed his shoulder away bashfully.

“So is he good at bed?” He leaned closer whispering making you smack him hard on his back.

He pull your hair fistful humping you hard from the back sending you to your high while chasing his own. Your moan echoes, filling your apartment when you both reached your high at the same time. He pull your hair up until your back touches his abs kissing your shoulder holding your body tighter, thrusting slowly releasing his juice inside you, he let your body fall on the mattress before laying next to you.

It was pretty much your weekend routine where he would show up unannounced at your door, kissing you before you could lock the door guiding you to your bed, stayed until you went to work next morning and sometimes he stayed at your house all day until you came back from work, take you to a nice dinner and end the night with another amazing sex. Kevin said you both were in your honeymoon phase but the thing is, you and Juyeon haven't take your relationship to the next phase yet. You didn't confess because he doesn't seems like going to.

“Friends with benefit?” Kevin almost dropped the painting when you answered his question about your relationship with Juyeon.

“Hey watch out.” You warned him, shaking your head. Kevin was always known for his clumsiness and almost ruin almost everything he touches.

“Its pretty obvious isn't it?” You shrugged didn't really want to talk about it. Your gut twisted everytime Kevin brought up the topic, it was actually fine because you didn't want to rush anything with Juyeon even when your feeling for him keep growing day by day, but when someone brought it up, saying it out loud, you were embarrassed and starts to overthink. Why haven't he confess yet? Does the time you both invested to each other means nothing to him?

“You don't even seems like friend to start with.” You rolled your eyes gesturing him to move over for you to unwrap the other painting for you to display at the showroom.

“I think its better to stay like this to make it less awkward.”

“Awkward? How are things between you two going to get awkward when you both already seen each other naked?” You crumple the wrap in your hand throwing it to him trying to make him lower down his voice.

“It’ll get awkward if one of us doesn't feel the same way that is all.”

“Well do you have feeling for him?” You stop for a second before staring at him didn't know how to answer him.

“You do have feeling for him. Just confess to him. What is wrong with both of you? Its almost three month isn't it?” You exhaled trying to focus on unwrap the painting without leaving any scratch ignoring him completely.

“Y/N wake up.” You heard Juyeon calling your name softly and he shakes your body lightly waking you from your sleep, but your head suddenly felt dizzy and your stomach feels like something been pressing and pushing it making you ran to the bathroom covering your mouth and Juyeon tails you worriedly from the back but stop when you shut the bathroom door on his face.

“Y/N are you okay?” He knock the door softly while you throwing out completely nothing from your system.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You wash your face, flushing the toilet before opening the door revealing him with a concerned look and you force a weak smile at him as he help you walk back to your bed.

“You should call it sick today. You look pale.” He said trying grab your arm but you push his hands away assuring that you were fine and make your way back to your bed lying down and he sit on the edge caressing your arm. You snuggle under your sheet patting the spot next to you asking him to lay down next to you but he didn't move.

“I'm going to cook something for you okay.”

“You don’t have to. Its probably just that time of the month an-” you stop talking when a realization hit you hard. You felt blood rushed to your head when you remember you didn't had your period last month and you're days late this month.

“Hey. What's up?” He touch your hand snapping you from your trance. You stay in silence watching him tilting his head trying to figure out the things in your head before his phone rings and he kiss your forehead excusing himself.

You stare blankly at the pregnancy test sitting on the toilet, it was positive and you're carrying Juyeon's child. You throw the test away rubbing your face harshly with your sweaty palm. You were nervous, and couldn't think of anything. There was too much worries running round your head. What if Juyeon doesn't want this child. What if he left when he never been yours to start with. You didn't realize you're crying and starts to wonder when did it went wrong. You always took your morning after pills right after.

You went to work the next day trying to fight the drowsiness and the feeling of vomiting. You didn't call Juyeon or reply to any of his text since last night. You didn't hate him, you just afraid that he'll hate you. He came during your lunch break gaining some whispers from your co-worker who was oozing for his good looks which you ignores.

“Are you feeling better today?” he asks and you nod looking at your food with pure disgust. You push it further from you taking a sip of your lemon juice that really help your morning sickness. He notices and grab your hand.

“Why aren't you eating?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“But its your favorite.” Your heart swells at his words, touched at how he could remember what you like and what you hate. You smile softly at him caressing the back of his hand with your thumb.

“I know. I had my breakfast a bit late today after sourcing the new painting. No one covered my place yesterday so I’m kind of busy today.”

“Make sure you eat something later okay?” you nod while smiling at him and he mirrored your action making your stomach churn at the way he smile. It was so genuine, transparent that you could see his feeling through his smile and it hurt you. You were wondering, will he act the same when he know you're pregnant.

“Is there something bothering you? You seem so quiet today.”

“Just some headache.”

“Are you sure its just that?” He tucked the strands of your hair to your ears. You nod nervously pressing your lips into a thin line before smiling at him.

“I'll stop by at your place tonight and cook something for you okay?”

Your bed rocked steadily as he thrust into you hands pinning yours above your head while your moans fills the room. You clenched your walls around his cock gracing his size as he thrust was getting faster and sloppier hitting your sweet spot sending you to the edge. Your back arched and he took the opportunity to cup your breast with his lips thrusting even harder before he reached his high. He hold you after, kissing your forehead pulling you closer to him. He rest his hand on your stomach making you nervous and you pull his hand to your chest afraid that he'll notice. You didn't know if your bump was visible or not because you haven't eaten much for the past few days and you hope that he didn't notice the changes on your body. He kisses your shoulder before pulling it to turn your body facing him and he played with your hair a bit before drifting into sleep and so does you.

You realize your bump was getting bigger day by day and your appetite starts to get the best of you while your morning sickness was getting worst. You're glad it was almost winter and you could hide your growing bump from your co-worker. You were just throwing up and you got out from the restroom when Kevin who was standing next to the door shock the life out of you. He had this tight look on his face making you nervous.

“that’s the fourth time this morning.” He said still not smiling. He looked pissed and you fake a laugh to brush the tension between both of you.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not wearing high heels anymore and I thought you hate flats.”

“My back starting to hurt and it-“ you didn't get to finish your words when he walked closer to you making you walk back timidly until your back touches the walls.

“You’re pregnant and you're hiding it.” Your blood rushes to your head deafening you. If it was someone else you could just spit a lie to their face but not Kevin. You could lie to him left and right but he always figure things out. You bit your lips not knowing what to say looking down.

“Does they know?” your voice came out slow almost like a whisper.

“Who cares if they know. What matters is does he know? Because you look like you're hiding it from him too.” There’s a crack happening inside you and you feel like crying but you bit your lips preventing yourself from doing so.

“No.”

“Why?”

“He just start his life”

“And you're not?” he cut your words sharply making you flinch and tears starts to welling up in your eyes. You chew on your lips looking down fidgeting your finger.

“I’m afraid of how he will react to the news. What if he hate me and the baby. I'm not ready for the rejection.”

“So you're planning to reject him first without asking?”

“You were happy with him and i could tell he's happy too. Changmin know he like you just the way you like him. What's with the hesitation?”

“What if he hates me?”

“Stop with the 'what ifs' Y/N. Stop overthinking and face him.”

“No.”

“Fine. What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to see my mom. I need her.”

“Oh Y/N. What have you done.” He throw his head back frustrated by your stubbornness but he knew that what you need now is support so he come closer to you and wrap his hand around your shoulder. That simple gesture crumbles your walls down and you cried.

You went back to your mother after texting Juyeon and left without seeing him with a heavy heart. He called you few times but you didn't want to pick up, afraid that it'll change your mind and run back to him that instant, you turned you phone off held it close to your chest apologizing to him silently looking out to the window as the bus stride leaving the platform. It get heavy when you saw your house stood tall right in front of your eyes and when your mother came out from the door you broke down and she rushes to you helping you out with your stuff. You told her everything aa soon as you both get into the house.

“He seems like a nice guy.” You smile as your mother scrolling his picture on your phone.

“You really don't want to give him the chance”

“No. I don’t want to deal with another rejection.” Her gut twisted at your word, a huge wave of guilt washes her and she stare at you lovingly caressing your hair and you look up to her with a bitter smile that hurt her. Your father really left a deep scar inside you and she despise him for that.

“You will be a great mom.” She stroke your hair back then touches your bump making you smile.

“Can i stay with you?” you asks shocking her.

“What are your plan? You cant just leave like that.”

“I just don’t want to see him at the moment.”

“Then stay here until you're ready. You know you can't hide from him forever. Its not fair for you to compare him with your dad Y/N. As far as I heard you talk about him, he was different. You father was abusive since the start of our relationship and Juyeon isn't. From what you've been telling me about him, he's a total sweetheart.” Your heart break when your mom mentions his name and you cried leaning to your mother shoulder.

“I don't want to ruin his life.”

“Hey, having a children does not make your life ruin. Look at me, my life is a blessing since you were born. Look at us now, look at yourself. We're happy even without that bastard who calls himself your father.” She pulls you tighter and you finally could smile looking up at her before laying on the couch, head on her lap as she stroke your hair gently.

Kevin was checking on the list for the new art for the upcoming bidding event replacing you who’s on leave when his co-worker comes for him telling him someone wanted to see him and he walk out from the storage room straight to the reception to see Juyeon.

“Do you know where Y/N is?” He asks as soon as they both seated at the restaurant not far from the gallery.

“I do.” Kevin restrain himself from telling the about everything but by thinking of your emotional state knowing how sensitive a pregnant woman could be, he stay silent and answer only when being asked.

“She haven’t been answering my calls and text. She was kind of sick before she left. I'm sorry, I’m just worried.”

“She had something to do back at her mother's.” He try not lying too much to Juyeon but he was curious. “Juyeon can i ask you something?” He leans forward clasping his hands together looking at Juyeon curiously.

“Do you love her?” He nods without a moment of hesitation.

“Why she isn’t your girlfriend then?”

“I was planning to ask but changmin told me once that she’s don't like being committed, so I just decided to take it slow then.”

“Of course that dumb ass.” Kevin lean back to his chair cursing Changmin inside his head.

“I didn't want to push her,” Juyeon look down, and Kevin could hear the hurt in his voice but he didn't dare to say anything but to feel bad for him.

“Is that why she left? Because I didn't confess?”

“No Juyeon, she must have her own reason, just give her time okay. Her last relationship really took a toll on her and it took her years to move on.” He smile assuringly to Juyeon.

“You seems close to her.”

“Well yeah, we live in the same neighborhood back in Gwanju. Basically grew up together.”

You lay down looking out to the dark sky letting your mind wander back to Juyeon. Its been two month since you left the city and your boss rejected your resignation letter tell you to come back whenever you want. You told her about your situation and as a single mother too, she understands right away. She even propose you to be transferred to the branch back in Gwanju but you declined, so you end up working from home. Your co-worker knew too, they even called to congratulate you and you were touched, feeling glad they didn't ask too many question. You missed them, you wanted to come back to work but you’re not ready to face Juyeon yet no matter how much you miss him. You caressed your growing bump gently feeling them fluttered inside you making you smile. It was twin they said and that's why your bump were bigger than the one who carries only one.

You took Juyeon's picture from your bedside table, looking at it longingly then place it on your chest. It still hurt, thinking about him. You missed him and you hate yourself for doing this to him. You heard your mom called you from downstairs and you were struggling to sit and you take your time to stand up, placing back the frame on the table. But before you could put your feet down on the floor, your door swung open startling you and you saw Kevin running towards you with a big smile on his face with a neatly wrapped present on his hand.

“Y/N.” He beamed kneeling down until his face was directly in front of your baby bump. “How was my twin.” He ask actually talking to your bump and he cup your bump with his both hands. You've been updating your condition to him everyday and he was always exited to hear it from you.

“A bit fussy but they're fine.”

“four month isn't it?”

“five.”

“They’re so big. Like you’re going to give birth anytime soon.”

“Yah. Is that how you’re calling me fat now?” You scoffed and he ignores you still talking to your bump.

“Uncle brought you a present.” He cup his cheek on your bump and you could feel them flutters kick right on Kevin's cheek making him squirmed in happiness.

“Oh my god they kissed me.”

“more like kicking you.” You rolled your eyes.

“you grumpy little shit.”

“Hey no cursing infront of my babies.” You smack the back of his neck making him scowls and you giggles at him.

“when are you coming back?” He asks helping you walking down the stairs.

“until i'm ready.”

“Its been two month. We missed you.”

“did you cleaned my apartment when im gone.”

“Yeah, Juyeon been helping me.” He hands you letter from your apartment. You face fell at the mentions of his name.

“He loves you Y/N.” You ignored him and the sharp stab inside your heart by opening every letter mostly from banks and your bills.

“Y/N listen to me.” He snaps.

“He’s hurt. Its not fair for you to hurt him just because you're scared that he treated you like your father.” You look in disbelief, he was no right to mention your father and he know he had pushed the right button.

“Kevin.” You snaps back at him.

“i’m sorry to say that. But Juyeon is not your father, he's been waiting for you every single day since the day you left. He went to our gallery and your apartment. He was blaming himself for not confessing earlier and tell you that he loves you.”

“If you had no other thing to say just leave.”

“No. He's right Y/N.” Your mom came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on the cloth and you look at her with a frown for siding with your cousin.

“Please give this man a chance. Just one chance, if he refuse you can just pack up everything and move back here. For your babies sake. They need their father.”

“I never needed mine, they will be fine.”

“Oh that what’s i thought too back then when your father left. But you had been searching for him your whole life didn't you?”

“How do you know that?”

“I know, i know everything, and i know he rejected you when you found him.” You burst into tears at her words. You were hiding it from her because you didn't want her to feel bad for you. You look down to your bump hiding your face from them both. Kevin hold your both hands and you let him.

“I know that rejection still affect you, and i still blame myself for not telling him about you and he end up thinking you doesn't exist. And it kills me you had to found out what kind of man he is yourself. Please, for the sake of your babies, try him. And if he refuse, you can pack everything and stay here with me,”

“Tell him that you are pregnant, at least when your children grow up and decides to look for him, they wont have to go through the same thing as you did. I'm so sorry for that honey.” She kneeled in front of you, hands rested on your knee while you cover you face with your both hands. She was crying too, but you couldn't look at her and you let your head fall to Kevin's shoulder letting him pat your back.

You were welcomed when you step foot on the gallery. You hugged co-worker one by one and let them touch your bump and they were a bit shock by the size of your five months bump. The day went well and everything seems to be the same and you were glad it somehow distract you from thinking too much about Juyeon. You didn't went out during lunch break because you bring your own food and mostly because you didn’t want to bump into Juyeon, you decided to call him when you find your courage.

Juyeon took the usual detour from work to his apartment just to walk past your house, its been his routine since you left. sometimes he asks for your keys from Kevin just to stop by stayed for a while laying down on your bed where your scent still lingers and sometimes he stare at where you always sit while watching movie, the kitchen counter where you always cook his favorite food, every corner of the house haunts him with your memory and its the only thing that could mend his heart.

He stop for a moment outside of the three floor shared house, his eyes lingers at the second floor longer, at the door, window, just hoping for the light to flickers indicating that you were there, its fine if you didn't want to see him anymore as long as he know that you're alive and doing well. He stare long before looking down, turning on his heels to walk back to his apartment. He stop when he saw Kevin got out from his car not far from him and was about to call him when the passenger seat door open revealing you, his heart dropped a thousand feet when he saw your side profile then you turn your back on him looking for something from your bag while Kevin done taking out the groceries from the back. You gained so much some weight but and he glad that you've been eating well.

“Y/N. Shut the door for me.” Kevin called walking towards you with hands full of groceries.

“Only if you say please.” You teased making Juyeon chuckled bitterly. How he missed hearing your voice again.

“Pretty please.” He could heard your little giggle making his heart flutters to the sound. He wanted to run to you so bad but he didn't want you to run from him anymore. He wait for you to turn around and when you did, the first thing he notice was your bulging tummy then he saw your face, god how much he missed you but it was bothering him, is that you're pregnant. He then turn his head to Kevin, who was waiting for you and when you get to him, you immediately lace your arm with him. He grasp his aching chest, his breath hitched and he felt his blood rushed to his head dizzying him, forcing himself to walk away.

“Is Kevin and Y/N together?” He ask Changmin who was watching horror movie as soon as he got out from bathroom.

“What do you mean? Their moms are twins. How are they even together?” He was taken aback by the new information, Kevin never mention it to him.

“Didn’t know that.” He was puzzled, trying to figure who was the father of your child.

“They never really tell anybody. No one knew. We figure it our self.”

“She’s pregnant.” His voice came out as a whisper but Changmin catch it and immediately look back to him and was about to congratulate his friend. But Juyeon tight expression confuses him.

“Why aren’t you happy?”

“What do you mean?” juyeon ask back confusing him.

“Well if she pregnant isn't it yours?” he stated a matter of fact. Pausing the movie turning his upper body completely facing Juyeon.

“No we met five months ago and i know how big five month bumps are.” Changmin brow knitted together looking at the other guy questioningly.

“So are you saying she's having Kevin's baby?” He snorts shaking his head thinking how nonsense Juyeon are being.

I don’t know.” He mumbled before walking to his room leaving Changmin with his movie.

You were still tossing and turn on your bed when you heard a knock on your door. It was past midnight and you felt your stomach churned with every knock. You got up and walked slowly to the door hoping that whoever was on the other side didn't heard your footsteps. You peeked through the peek hole and stunned when you saw Juyeon standing outside looking down. You stayed silent for a while and he knocked again making you flinch.

“Y/N i know you're in there.” You heard his voice muffled calling you and god how much you missed his voice that you had to cover your quivering lips to hide your whimper. You broke down that instant walking slowly to the door touching it trying to feel his presence from the other side of the door.. You missed him, but you're scare, nervous. What should you say to him and how should you explain things to him.

“Y/N please. I just want to talk.”

“Go away Juyeon. I don’t want to see you.”

“Why? What did I do wrong. Tell me. Please Y/N,” He asked and you stay silence, knowing very well that he wasn't the one who at fault. You cover you lips with your hand as your tears flow like a river.

“I'm sorry if I hurt you,” You could hear his voice break at every words and it kills you.

“I know its too late but I just want you to know that I love you,” He bit his lips leaning his head on the door, both hands on the door.

“I missed you.” He couldn't hold his tears anymore and it falls.

“Its yours.” Kevin words left him appalled and he had a hard time registering his words.

“Don’t lie. We met five months ago her bumps are too big for five months.”

“She’s having a twin Juyeon.”

“Why is she running from me?”

“She thought you didn't want the baby.”

“I never said that.”

“She was too afraid being rejected by you.”

“I love her. How could I reject her.”

“She’s been dealing with rejection her whole life. He abandoned her mother not knowing that she was pregnant and Y/N been searching for him her whole life and when she found him, he said he didn't want to had anything to do with her.”

“Y/N please, I love you. Give me a chance please.” He fell on his knees begging again and again. And he promised himself that he wont stop until you give him a chance to be a father to your child. To his child.

You open the door slowly and saw him kneeling down covering his face, probably didn't heard you. His shoulder shudders slowly, you got on your own knees slowly holding your bump. You hesitate at first but you stroke his hair back anyway making him snap his head instantly his face red, still crying. His frown was lifted when he saw you, a smile, a big one replacing the frown and god how much you missed his smile. He pulled you closer taking you into his arm and you could feel the heat radiating from his body, you lean your head on his shoulder while stroking the back of his back gently, shushing him.

“I’m sorry. It wasn't your fault. I was a coward, stop blaming yourself.” You tightens the hug letting him snuggles on the crook of your neck. You let him stay until the shuddering of his shoulder stopped.

He then pull away and look down to your bump before looking up back to you with pure happiness and excitement.

“Our twin.” He smiled making your heart swells at him. He touched your bump with the palm of his hand, and your twins reacted to his touch, fluttering like they were excited too. Like they knew it was the touch of their father.

“Oh my god. Are they kicking?” He asked excitedly before taking your both elbow pulling you standing up slowly. “You shouldn’t be kneeling like this.” You giggled at his excitement and let him lead you to your couch.

“I’m sorry Juyeon. I was scared and I didn't want to be your burden.” You wipe your damp cheek before wiping his and let your hand lingers on his skin, looking at him lovingly.

“Kevin told me about that,” He looked down to your bump before looking back at you.

“But please don't leave me ever again, never think of yourself as a burden. We can always figures things out. We can sort thing and the most important thing is, we need a bigger home for our little angels.” You bit your lips smiling watching as he caressed your baby bump gently, kissing it. There’s a sense of relief washing over you and you had to clutch your chest holding it from bursting. You thanked your mom silently for convincing you to come back, you stroke his hair taking his attention away from your bump, he look up to you smiling lovingly.

“I love you Juyeon,” You said, biting your lips letting your tears fall, and he wipe it right away pulling you into his warm embrace caressing your hair.

“I love you more than anything Y/N.”

THE END.

A/N: My first attempt writing a long detailed smut, it was supposed to be short and just smut, but y’know i always got carried away when it comes to writing. I hope you enjoy this one. I like to call this porn with plot. lol, sorry just had to. Please enjoy. I love youuuu.

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz #tbz scenarios #tbz #tbz smut #the boyz juyeon #lee juyeon #tbz lee juyeon #lee juyeon scenarios #lee juyeon smut #tbz drabbles #the boyz drabbles #juyeon oneshot #juyeon

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stars-are-just-ghosts · 4 years

Text

Supernatural Isn’t Just A Show

I started watching Supernatural fifteen years ago, just like many of you. I followed the paths of two young men who hunted the evils in the world that the rest of us couldn’t have imagined on a good day. Vampires and demons and monsters. Greek gods, angels, Lucifer himself. The stories were heartfelt and humorous and dark and tender. They challenged us to see that monsters could be good, and being evil was a choice. They brought us into a reality of hope and fighting the whole world if it meant that your family was safe.

That’s what the show was really about, you see. The hunting and the laughter and the dark and everything in between was just the icing on the cake. The real story? That was family. Two brothers who came together and saved the world, again and again. Two brothers who fought side by side, and sometimes with each other, and always for what was right, even if the drawn line was hard to see. Two brothers whose devotion bled into the world around them and brought other amazing people into the fold. Two brothers who grew to have a circle of people who were the epitome of family, because ‘family don’t end with blood.’ Castiel and Charlie and Bobby and Kevin and Crowley and Jack and the list goes on. A list that extended beyond the characters, beyond the actors, beyond the show itself. One that includes you, me... JoAnn and Steven and Jeffrey.

Let me tell you about JoAnn.

Her daughter and I went to school together, a beautiful young woman named Sarah. Over the years I spent so much time at their house and with JoAnn that it was beyond easy to see them as family. And JoAnn became incredibly special to me. My mother and I have always had a strained, tumultuous relationship with very little in the way of affection. JoAnn, however, became the emotional mother I’d never had. We would laugh together (she had a killer sense of humor,) I would call her just to share something or vent (there was never a moment she wasn’t willing to listen,) she was able to hold all four of my babies after they were born (and they lovingly called her Auntie JoAnn.) And I even managed to get her addicted to Supernatural.

She loved Dean, especially Dean’s rear end. (-wiggles brows-)

Shortly before her first and only grandson was born, JoAnn became terminally ill and passed away. She never got to see her grandson, or hold him, or watch him grow up. I think about that all the time, especially when I see a picture of him that Sarah has posted. When I’m watching Supernatural, and Dean says something familiar or I remember a moment in the show that JoAnn particularly loved, I think about JoAnn and how much I wish she could have seen her grandbaby. And how much I wish her daughter, the lovely Sarah, could have experienced that, too. I wonder if JoAnn would have shared this show with her adorable little grandson. I miss that woman every day.

Now, let me tell you about Steven.

His father, Steve, is one of my best friends. I’ve known him for over twenty years. And when his three children were little, I used to babysit them. His son, Steven, was born with severe Cerebral Palsy. He was nonverbal, wheelchair bound, and was tube fed. But he was also the funniest, brightest, most happy boy I’d ever met. He had the most brilliant smile, and the greatest laugh. And whenever someone he loved or really liked walked into a room, his eyes would light up like stars.

When Steven hit adulthood, I would help his Dad out when Steven was at his house. We liked to watch movies and tv shows together. And I offered up the suggestion of Supernatural. It became like tradition after that. We would all be there in the living room, Steven on the floor with his Dad, and we’d watch the episodes in order. It always made me happy, to be able to share that with them.

About four years ago, Steven became ill, landing in the hospital. While there, his heart gave out. He passed away without ever having finished the show he had grown to love. Since then, his Dad hasn’t been able to watch anymore. It’s too painful. Too hard to think that Steven isn’t there to watch it with him. I understand completely. Because I’ll watch an old episode and remember Steven’s unabashed laughter. And I wish he was still here to watch it with us. I talked with Steve about giving it another try. He heard the show is ending soon, and I think he is finally ready to see it through, to finish it for both himself and his son. Let me tell you about Jeffrey.

Jeffrey has lived in NYC for over 20 years now. He is my big brother, and was diagnosed with different mental illnesses, including Borderline Personality Disorder. He’s still made a life for himself that makes him happy in a place I know for sure I would never survive in. (I’m a small town girl, through and through.) And it was because of my brother that I found out about GISHWHES.

You have to understand, my brother doesn’t open up to people easily or step out of his comfort zone for just anyone or anything. But in doing this scavenger hunt? My brother walked around NYC in a robot costume, including taking the subway and walking crowded streets. He also wore a bikini made of lettuce, and not once was shy about it. He dove right in and gave it his all in order to help other people, and to this day I am still insanely proud of him for it.

After everything he went through, from living on the subway for nearly two years (and never telling us) to going from corporate work (which he hated) to doing something he really loved (comic books, baby) to being hospitalized for suicidal tendencies to finally being diagnosed with things he had struggled with all his life but never had taken care of, and finally having a sense of mental health in a new job as a live-in dog nanny, this amazing man is finally happy. And when I think of that, I think of the video of him wandering around dressed as a robot because of GISHWHES. Now, if you’ll bare with me... let me tell you about myself.

I am a pansexual woman married to my best friend with four amazing children.

I have depression and anger issues that I have struggled most of life with.

I have spent a good chunk of my adult life being a stay-at-home-mom and only now am going back to school to learn a new career. I have rescued and taken care of animals since I was 17, something my children have grown to love as well. And I am happier now than I have ever been. But it wasn’t always that way.

I had my best friend die in my arms when I was 12, that being my first experience with death and grief and unchecked anger. And I grew up a lonely kid who spent most of my time hiding how depressed I was, doing everything I could to take care of everyone else in my life, the majority of them never knowing how much I actually struggled with just living. The first love of my life was killed in a car accident when I was 16. My parents divorced when I was 17 and I dropped out of high school, working three jobs just so I wouldn’t be home with my mother.

I was married to a selfish and controlling man at 18, had my first child at 19, second at 20, third at 23, and divorced at 23 with three small children and no job. I was terrified and didn’t know what I was going to do. Everything was up and down and inside out.

But I have a very clear memory of sitting down one night, after the kids had gone to sleep and the apartment was quiet and I was alone with nothing but my thoughts and the television… and a repeat episode of Supernatural (Season 2, Episode 16 – Roadkill) was on. (Spoilers ahead if you, by chance, have not seen this episode.)

In that moment, I was barely paying attention to it. I was a wreck, filled with guilt and fear. My face was covered in tears, and I was sobbing as I sat there and rocked with a pillow held in my grip (I oddly remember that pillow vividly because it had rough edges.) But as the episode progressed, I began to quiet. I remember listening intently to Sam and Molly as they sat on an old bed in Greeley’s home, looking at the letters he’d written to his wife.

“It’s a love letter he wrote her… my God, it’s beautiful… I don’t understand how a guy like this can turn into a monster.” Molly said to Sam. I mirrored that sentiment, in my own way. (I know my situation wasn’t the same.) I’d married a man I’d thought I’d loved. A man I thought loved me. But his actions and selfishness lead to the downfall of our marriage, our family, and my (then) situation. But I had been the one to make the decision to end things, right? After everything he’d done, I couldn’t be with someone I couldn’t trust. And it wasn’t just about me… it was about our children. They needed a mother who was happy…

At the end of the episode, Molly is faced with the reality that she has been dead the entire time and that her husband David had already said his goodbyes, moving on without her.

“What am I supposed to do?” Molly asked, in tears.

“Just… let go. Of David. Of everything. You do that… we think you’ll move on.” Sam responded gently.

Isn’t that what I should be doing? I thought. Because by that point, I’d been stuck in grief and fear for months. I don’t think I knew it until that point, but I’d been holding onto it like a security blanket because it made sense, it seemed like I deserved it.

“But you don’t know where…” Molly responded, her voice still soft with tears.

“No... Molly, you don’t belong here. Haven’t you suffered long enough?” Sam asked. “It’s time… it’s time to go.”

I sat there in stunned silence.

As odd as it sounds, it felt like he was talking to me. Because for years I’d tried to keep our marriage together because I thought I had to for our children. For years, I’d practically raised those three children alone. For months, I had sat in a holding pattern, waiting for my shoulders to finally break under all the weight from the failure I felt and the misery I was drowning in, doing everything I could to be a good mother with nothing to fall back on. But then I watched Molly walk into the light, tears streaming down her face, a smile ghosting across her lips, and I realized… I really had suffered long enough.

“You really think she’s going to a better place?” Dean asked after Molly moved on.

“I hope so.” Sam replied.

“I guess we’ll never know, not until we take the plunge ourselves, huh?” Dean said with half a smirk.

“Doesn’t really matter, Dean. Hope’s kind of the whole point.” Sam said.

And there it was. What I’d been missing. Hope.

This show, these two actors, those two brothers opened my eyes to something that had been right in front of me the whole time. I didn’t know what the future would bring, I didn’t know what I was going to do next. But I was certain I had suffered enough. I was certain I needed to move on, for my children, for myself. And as the episode ended, I wiped my tears off my face, shut off the tv and kissed every one of my sleeping children a few dozen times. And I went to bed thinking about the depiction of that light, that hope.

Two years later, I married my best friend – the love of my life, a good man who never lies, never hurts me or my kids, lifts me up when I feel down, makes me laugh every day, treats me far better than I will ever think I deserve. We had a baby boy together, bringing our family to a total of four amazing kids who all call him Dad. We have our own home which we work so hard for, we have a plethora of animals who make every day adventurous, and I am finally on a career track I feel excited about. All because I decided to stop living in my suffering, and move on.

That is why this show is not ‘just a show.’ For me, anyway. Because of JoAnn and Steven and Jeffrey. Because of the hope I found with the show itself. And I know I am not alone in at least this sentiment.

Every season since, I have watched the episodes. I have followed the stories and witnessed the amazing things this fandom has done for each other and complete strangers. I have seen people’s lives changed by the show and the actors, I have been able to connect with other people I never would have known, and get closer to those I already did. I have shared this series with my children, who all love it and the main characters as much as I do.

And right now, as we get near the end of the series, I am not ashamed to admit that I am hurting. I feel a genuine heartache. A genuine loss. I feel like a part of my history is coming to a close. But like at that moment when my world was inside out and I was trapped in my own little hell, I have hope.

I don’t know what waits for me. I never have. I don’t know what awaits any of us. But this show will never really die. The connections we’ve made, the way the stories and people have touched us… that never really goes away.

Whether we watch Supernatural on repeat on a bad day, or follow the actors as they move on to new adventures, or get someone in our life to start watching it, this show will always be around. Just like hope. And… isn’t it like Sam said? “Hope’s kind of the whole point.”

So, hold on to hope. And message me if you’re grieving, if you need an ear from a fellow fan, or just someone to shoot Supernatural memes back and forth with. We’re a family. You, me, all of us. And I’ll always be here for you.

(P.S. I will ship Destiel till the bitter end.)

Love,

QuietDarkness (stars-are-just-ghosts)

#Supernatural #SPN #forever a fan #season 15 #this isn't the end #hope is the whole point #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Castiel #GISHWHES #misha collins #jared padalecki #Jensen Ackles #some spn spoilers

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