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#some of these are more superficial than others
bg-brainrot · 1 day
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To Be Known (Astarion x GN!Tav)
Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav
Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here
Summary: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known.
Tags: Astarion's POV, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3 but pre-Cazador, Astarion is Bad at Feelings,
A/N: Disclaimer up top: I'm not abandoning any of my other fic! Promise! Just trying to get over a tough month and get back into the swing of things :'D
Also, based on the quote: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is like being loved by God.” (disclaimer: I’m not religious, and I know this quote comes in a few different forms, but google told me about this version so I stuck to it.)
Word count: ~2.1k
“To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods,” Astarion reads aloud, to no one in particular.
A silence follows, wherein his mind repeats the words he’s just read, absorbing none of them. To be fully known and truly loved… The words don’t seem to stick. 
Finally deciding that the sentence isn’t worth his effort, he tosses the book onto his bedroll with a groan. “What rubbish.”
Outside of this author's haughty approach to prose, Astarion doesn’t particularly care to think too deeply about what it means to be loved– especially by any godsforsaken deities. 
He has only just come around to the idea of love, not that he’s said the word ‘love’ to you just yet. It felt too much, too heavy a word to carry considering all of the other burdens the two of you bore between you. But the idea of it? Well, he was warming up to it. And with every moment shared between you, he believes he may be warming up all the more.
But what does being known have to do with love? No, that concept has him pulling his brows together, getting up from his bedroll and putting distance between himself and the drivel that Gale had recommended to him.
That’s what I get for listening to the damned wizard’s tastes, he thinks, shaking his head slightly. Some philosophical prattle, just as verbose as he is.
But even as he stands, brushes himself off, shoves the book away to the furthest corner of his tent before he makes to leave, the question of being known never escapes him.
What does it even mean to be known? he wonders, now lost in thought as he emerges from his tent. How could anyone know me, after all I’ve been through… do I even know who I am anymore?
The idea hangs over him, trails him like a storm cloud as he begins stalking about the camp you’ve all set up in the outskirts of Rivington. He’s not sure where his feet are leading him other than away– away from the distasteful book, away from away from your knowing gaze, which would only pry his thoughts out of him.
Much to Astarion’s disappointment, the trail he takes doesn’t stop the winding path his thoughts have taken.
Have I ever been known? he wonders, vaguely registering the breeze in his hair and the distant sounds of running water as he travels further and further from camp.
Perhaps I was once upon a time, but I could hardly be expected to remember now, could I? The thought is bitter and unwelcome, though likely true. He brusquely swats a branch out of his way and continues into a bramble unrepentantly. Gods, how can he bring himself to care about something as trifling as nature when he’s quite busily lost in thought right now, thank-you-very-much.
Astarion releases a sigh as he finally fights his way into a copse of trees. Secluded, finally. 
Alone. 
With his thoughts.
Which won’t seem to quiet despite the soft chittering of small animals, nor the sickly sweet smell of flowers in the air.
Why are some pitiful poet’s ‘words of wisdom’ even bothering me? he thinks as he lowers himself onto the trunk of a fallen tree. What’s even the use in being known?
Astarion crosses his legs in front of him, watching with narrowed eyes as his boots press into the soft grass, crushing it easily. There is no use to being known, he decides as he presses harder with one foot and the grass is further flattened. To wish that is…
His foot twists down even more firmly.
Pathetic, Astarion thinks, lifting his boot back up to see his handiwork. The grass lies flat, thoroughly smashed by him. This world is simply about being the one who tramples, and not the one being trampled.
That thought oddly comforts him. He knows the push and pull of power well enough– this dynamic is second nature to him. Like an old, threadbare blanket, it wraps around his shoulders, providing no warmth, but plenty of familiar reassurance.
It’s moments later that the blanket is wrenched from him and he’s laid bare once more, under the startling sunlight of your attention.
“Astarion?”
Your voice pierces through his thoughts, and his instinctual answering emotions are new to him. Surprise. Elation. Relief.
The vampire had been utterly unprepared to hear your voice, convinced he’d found a spot away from you all. Convinced that you wouldn’t be here with your thoughtful gaze– not now, while he’s still busy sorting through a myriad of questions. But he still can’t deny the way he welcomes your presence. 
He suspects that your perceptive gaze can easily catch that, despite the way his shoulder’s tense and the way his head turns away, his ears still tilt back toward you, ready for your next words.
“Astarion, there you are,” you say. He hears the same emotions he feels in your voice. How odd it feels to be mirrored by you. He can’t deny enjoying that either. “What’s the matter? When I couldn’t find you around camp, I thought the worst might have happened."
The man scoffs, trying his best to sound unaffected by your sudden arrival, refusing to meet your inquiring gaze. “And what, pray tell, did you assume could have happened?”
“We’re practically at the Gate, Astarion. Anything could have happened. Need I remind you what happened to Dribbles?” you respond, voice tight with worry. 
Ah yes. The dead clown. “It will take more than a shapeshifter to take me out, darling,” he retorts, still refusing to turn toward you, now dutifully inspecting his nails.
You let out a small huff of disapproval. “And what about Cazador?”
“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Astarion replies, though the thought of being caught unawares by Cazador bristles at him. If he did get caught, it would be entirely Gale’s fault for lending him that book… He shakes his head of white curls and continues, “Besides, I barely got more than a few dozen yards away before you came chasing after me. I could hardly be in any real danger.”
When you sigh, he finally turns to face you. The expression you give him then isn’t frustration, nor anger– it’s an unusual mixture of worry and… joy? “I couldn’t help but chase. Would it be pathetic to say that I miss you when you’re gone for too long?” you respond.
He’s not sure he has an answer to that.
Especially when he feels pathetic for how light his undead heart feels at the statement.
Astarion drops his head, avoiding your gaze, and hoping you don’t catch the startled happiness on his face.
When it’s clear he doesn’t have a response for you, you change the subject as you close the distance between you, “So, what brought you out here?”
“Nothing,” he replies, too easily. You know it’s a lie. He knows that you know it.
“Nothing, eh?” you ask, finding a seat next to him on the fallen tree. “What about that nothing has you running into the woods?”
“I was not running,” he defends, with a click of his tongue. “I was taking a brisk stroll.”
“Fine then,” you relent, elbowing his arm gently. “What about it led to a ‘brisk stroll’?”
There’s no use hiding from them, is there? he thinks, leaning back on the trunk. “I’ll tell you,” he begins, staring out into a bush. “But only if you answer a question for me.”
“Anything,” you say, and he can feel your shrug on his arm.
“Who am I, really?”
You still. Astarion had expected no less. After all, it’s not an easy question to answer– even for him. He’s putting quite a lot of undue pressure onto you with the question, it’s selfish really… but he can’t help but want to be selfish around you.
So he lets the question settle into the silence.
When you finally speak, your voice is crisp in the muted sounds of the clearing. “Promise you won’t care for me any less after I answer you?”
Astarion snaps his head back at you, his mouth turning down in a frown. “Well that depends, my dear. What are you planning to say?”
“Promise?” you press.
As if he could care any less for you– he would have done so already if he could. “I promise,” he murmurs reluctantly. “Now, please, the suspense is really too much.”
“You are Astarion,” you start, reaching out for his hand. He cautiously places his in yours, unable to hide the twitch of a smile as your warm fingers lock with his. “You’re a beautiful, elven vampire, with silver hair, and red eyes. You’re talented, witty, and…”
Your voice trails off, and Astarion can’t help but wonder why you’d been so hesitant to answer. So far, he is loving this answer.
“And you’re an absolute arse at times.”
“Excuse me?” he gasps, moving to pull his hand out of yours.
You don’t release it, but you do continue, “You laugh at the misfortune of others, you steal, you lie, you cheat at games, you can be incredibly selfish.”
“Darling, are we certain you care about me after all this?” he grumbles, giving up on fighting your grip on him as your words wash over him. He knows all of this, of course, has been entirely unashamed of it all before… but it feels different when you say it. When you lay it out plainly before him.
“Yes,” you answer quickly, tugging on his hand gently. “Because all of that makes you you. And, personally, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
He blinks at you, confused on how you arrived at this conclusion.
“You are so unabashedly you, love. And I adore that. I know it might not feel like it after all you’ve been through… but you are still yourself. No one has been able to take that from you.”
Now Astarion stares at your intertwined hands, wondering if he deserves such impassioned, absurd words said in his defense. His voice comes quietly when he asks his next questions, “And how do I know that’s who I have always been? Who I was meant to be?”
You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a soft, warm kiss before you continue, “Astarion, I don’t know what might have bothered you, but I want you to know that, no matter what it was, you’re amazing as the man you are. Whoever you were, whoever you think you were meant to be, you should be proud of who you are now. And… once we deal with Cazador, I hope you have the chance to rediscover that man.”
Astarion hadn’t meant this to be some kind of journey of self-discovery– really, he’d only been irked by the needless philosophy of the book Gale had lent him. But, hearing you say those words, it feels as if some weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
Worry, he realizes. Of losing who he was, of course, but also of being utterly, desolately unknown. Naturally he needn’t have worried because here you are, ready and willing to understand him. To accept and care for him, even while knowing him, flaws and all.
Maybe being known wasn’t such a burden. Not if it were by you.
“Yes, well,” he begins, suddenly unsure what to say to your earnest words. “Thank you for that, I think. Though, really, I could have done without all of the barbs. It feels like I've been struck by psychic damage.” Astarion gives a dramatic head loll, averting his flustered face.
You laugh and squeeze his hand. “Well, it’s a good thing I have no clue how to deal psychic damage, but I’ll be sure to get Gale right over if you need a good jostle to the brain.”
Gale’s done enough of that, Astarion thinks. But he doesn’t say so to you. Instead, the man simply shakes his head. “I’m quite alright. Speaking of the rest of those fools, they’ve likely begun to burn the camp down without us. Shall we head back?”
While the trek to the clearing had been filled with spiraling thoughts and matters of the self, Astarion finds that the journey back is filled with far more soft touches and kisses– Not that he minds.
In fact, he thinks with a smile, as you both walk together, practically falling into each others’ arms. Maybe this was who I was meant to be all along.
That night, once he’s settled back into his tent for bed, Astarion reads the passage once more, “To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods.”
Astarion is certainly no closer to believing in the gods’ willingness or ability to love him, but he could hardly care. No, he suspects that he knows what a god’s love is– after all, if you truly love him, fangs, scars, and all… well, that may very well be divine.
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redwlf843 · 3 days
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Looking out for her
Abby Anderson x fem! reader
Summary: you were tired and you missed your girlfriend so safe to say you were not in the mood today. When Mel starts saying some stuff about Abby you can’t help but come to your girlfriend’s defense
Warnings: arguments, cursing, tiny bit of Mel bashing, tiny bit of Owen bashing, mentions of anxiety, I think that’s it.
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You were not in the fucking mood today. Your knee is still hurting from your previous patrol, you woke up late so you got barely anything for breakfast, and Isaac has Abby running so ragged you’ve only seen her in passing within the last 72 hours.
You usually didn’t kind lending a hand in the medical tents, sure sometimes it got rough but for the most part it was just dealing with superficial injuries and when the little ones got sick. But today. Oh after today you just might request a permanent change. You’re usually friendly decent with Mel. It’s no secret she has something against Abby, usually it’s just snide comments you can brush off or something mumbled under her breath.
But today you came into the medical tent at just the wrong right time.
“It’s her fault you know. Owen is barely on base, he barely sleeps, he’s just he’s not the same anymore. Ever since Jackson he’s not the same. If she would have just acted like a normal person and not some blood thirsty mon-“
Slam
You slammed the canister of disinfectant on the table making Mel and the other person in the tent jump.
“What the fuck did you just say?” You asked seething.
“Nothing. Let’s just get back to work.” Mel says brushing you off.
“No. You don’t get to say shit like that and brush me off.”
“Oh? I don’t get to? What you’re going to clobber me like your crazy fucking girlfriend does?”
You can see the moment she realizes what she has said but you’re too far gone, you’re pissed and you can’t help yourself your mouth opens before you think.
“We both know this isn’t about Abby, we both know that this is about your insecurity about Owen but Abby is your scapegoat so you don’t have to realize that you’re pussy of a boyfriend who’s too afraid to step up and take responsibility for a choice her made” your eyes flick to her pregnant belly before meeting her eyes again. “Is still in love with his fucking ex. You see it and I see it the way he watches her it’s disgusting, Abby has told him to grow up and move on but no he can’t take a goddamn hint so instead of going off on my girlfriend who has tried to lend an olive branch so many fucking times maybe you need to fucking talk to Owen and get your shit together.”
The tent was silent all that could be heard was your heavy breathing as your rage dissipated, the fogginess of your mind faded and you could see the wetness gathering at the corners of Mel’s eyes and part of you felt bad but the other part of you hoped this would be a wake up call for her to realize that with Owen she’d be doing everything on her own.
You spared her one final glance before rushing out of the tent accidentally knocking into someone’s shoulder.
You head was starting to hurt, you could fell your heart racing, your hands were shaky and clammy. God you hated conflict, ironic for a WLF. You had to get back yours and Abby’s living quarters.
Abby was exhausted, she never slept well without you and all the work Isaac had her doing well she was lucky if she was able to catch a nap in the library for more than 4 hours. She was looking over some maps trying to plan the best patrol routes to prevent being ambushed by scars, when she heard hurried footsteps getting closer to her.
“Pendja!” Manny called out to her
“Pendajo” Abby responded her attention still on the maps pinned to the wall
Manny rushed around the corner and was behind her trying to catch his breath having rushed from the med tent to find her.
“You need to go get your girl.” Told her
Abby froze her mind jumping to the worst conclusions possible
“What? Why? Where is she? Is she okay?” Abby turned around quickly and manny saw the panicked look in her eyes
“She’s okay, it’s nothing like what you’re thinking.” He told her trying to calm her down from whatever she was thinking
“Her in Mel got into it in the Med tent, I guess Mel was talking some shit and your girl ripped her a new one. She rushed out real quick, rushed past me look like she was headed for your place, I’d look there first.” Manny explained
“Shit” Abby sighed under her breath, she scrubs her hand down her face and starts walking to the door
“Thanks Manny”
“Any time pendaja, go get your girl.”
Abby chuckled as she left but there was no humor behind it, she was worried she had to get to you quickly.
“Aye remind me not to piss your girl off she’s scary when she’s mad.” Manny called out to her not expecting an answer
“it was kinda hot” Manny mumbled to himself as he went to his assigned duties.
You were curled up in bed wearing one of Abby’s hoodies, you had your face buried in Abby’s pillow as you laid on your side. You were tired but you were wound up to even try and nap. You’ve never even heard yourself that angry before.
You were playing the events over in your head when you heard the open
“Baby?” You heard Abby call out worriedly
“Addy?” You called back from the bed sitting up
You heard her walking down the small steps to the bed
“There you are” she says more to herself when she sees you, the worried look on her face worsens as she see the way your cheeks and nose are red, the tear tracks on your face and the puffiness under your eyes.
“Oh baby girl” consoles as she rushes over to the bed, getting under the covers and pulling you to her so your head was on her chest. She has both her arms wrapped around you, one hand rubbing your back. She kisses your head.
“What happened today baby girl?” She asks you
You sigh “I was working med tents today and Mel was saying some shit about you and that pissed me off and I just I don’t know I just lost it and went off on her.” You tell her.
“I’m sorry Abby” you sigh
“For what? From what it sounds like you didn’t do anything wrong” Abby was confused if anyone had to apologize it was Mel
“You’ve been trying hard to fix things up with her and I ruined it for you.”
“Well if she was talking shit about me behind my back then I don’t think I’ve been fixing it to well huh?” Abby chuckles humorlessly
“Baby you have nothing to be sorry for, If anything I should apologize to you. You shouldn’t have to fight my battles for m-“
She’s cut off by your lips
“I will always defend you, no matter what.” You tell her
She gives you a small smile and kisses you again
“Let’s just lay here for now, maybe take a nap or something and then we can deal with this later, huh how does that sound?” She asks as she kicks off her shoes and lets them fall to the floor, then her pants, leaving her in her shirt and boxers.
“Hmm that’s the best idea you’ve had in days.” You tell her and you both chuckle as you roll onto your side feeling her arms wrap around you and pull you to her. Her front against your back.
With Abby with you it feels like everything might just turn out okay.
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longing-for-rain · 1 day
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what do you think of the argument some people make that goes along the lines of "zuko was acting entitled towards kataras forgiveness and the betrayal at the catacombs was just a second thought to him"? According to them, zuko failed to understand that kataras anger at him was a direct consequence of his previous decisions and instead blames it on her resentment against the fire nation (the whole "i think she sees me as her mother's murderer" spiel). They also claim that he's a raging misogynist bc of the way he treated katara in the pirate episode, that he didnt remember her name when asking sokka abt the southern raiders, taunting her in the northern tribe by saying she is a big girl now that she's learned some new tricks, referring to the kyoshi warriors as a "bunch of little girls", yelling at mai and acting possessively, mocking ty lee... amidst many other things, including the toxic masculinity accusations ofc. They also condemn his selfishness in helping katara find some semblance of closure. I think a great part of this is just biased hate, but i just wanted to know your opinion. It's okay if you don't want to answer though!
Oh no of course, I think it’s definitely biased hate, because these kinds of superficial “criticisms” only seem to come up in response to people shipping Zuko with the incorrect character. I’ve seen the same people who make these arguments praise Zuko, say they love him, say his redemption is inspiring, etc. in other contexts.
There is a lot to unpack here, but I’ll touch on all these points because I find them interesting. Also, in regards to generally stupid anti Zuko takes from whiny anti shippers, a lot of those came up here which I addressed in detail.
Now, about these particular arguments.
1) Zuko wanted Katara’s forgiveness out of selfishness
Firstly, I never understood this take because in context…Zuko already has what he set out to get when he left the Fire Nation at the beginning of The Southern Raiders. Actually, let’s take a step back here: leaving the Fire Nation. Did these people collectively forget that? Zuko could have stayed in his life of luxury, watched the world burn, and inherited the title of Emperor from his father. But instead, he committed treason, risking his life in the process, because he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. This is the character you’re trying to smear as a selfish monster?
Anyways.
The Southern Raiders. The scene which kicks off the conflict with Katara is when the group is sitting around the fire, praising Zuko for his heroism and saving them from Azula. He humbly admits he doesn’t feel he deserves the praise, to which Katara agrees and storms off. But the important piece of context here is that everyone else—including Sokka, Katara’s own brother—seems to be on Zuko’s side. If Zuko was purely selfish, he wouldn’t have cared what Katara thought of him. He could have laughed along with Sokka and agreed that Katara was just being dramatic. But that isn’t what happened.
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Zuko doesn’t look angry or vindictive here; he looks hurt. He cares what Katara thinks of him; he later says those words verbatim to Sokka.
I also think the fact that Zuko made a special effort to reach out to Katara above the other characters shows that he recognizes that the catacombs incident was much more personal for Katara. Zuko even acknowledges this himself.
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Zuko: Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she's connected her anger at that to her anger at me.
Zuko remembers their conversation very well. Katara’s anger towards him was different than the others because she felt betrayed on a more personal level. She shared something deeply personal with Zuko and connected with him, and felt deceived when he betrayed her.
In Katara’s mind, Zuko talking about his mother was fake. She tells herself it was just him lying to her and manipulating her to gain her trust, because that’s easier than the idea that he didn’t care. I believe this is why Zuko finds it so important to make it up to her…and specifically why her mother was involved. Obviously Zuko was wrong to side with Azula. But he wasn’t being manipulative or uncaring. He was manipulated himself by Azula, the person who knows how to control him better than anyone else.
So, in this episode, Zuko is not setting out to prove that he’s “good” (he’s already done this); he’s setting out to show Katara that he does respect her trauma, he does understand and respect the weight of what she told him about her mother. Zuko can tell she’s deeply hurt and that he’s part of that hurt. That’s why he wants to demonstrate that his care for her was and is genuine. He never lied to her. And that right there is the opposite of selfishness. This is once again Zuko acknowledging his own faults and taking responsibility for fixing them. He doesn’t even seem to demand or expect forgiveness in the end.
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Look at his face. He’s surprised. He did not expect this gesture, although he graciously accepts it.
If Zuko was this selfish, entitled monster people want him to be, he wouldn’t react this way. He wouldn’t even care about any of the points I just went through.
If you honestly believe that Zuko’s motivation was selfish and he was just manipulating Katara’s feelings this whole time, you fundamentally missed the point of one of the show’s most critically acclaimed episodes.
2) Zuko didn’t know Katara’s name (?)
This one is just stupid. I’m sorry. I didn’t know people actually used this argument because it originated as a joke post and you should be embarrassed if you genuinely think this is canon. It comes from the scene in The Southern Raiders where Zuko says “your sister” rather than “Katara” when asking Sokka about their mother.
There is absolutely nothing about this scene indicating that Zuko doesn’t know Katara’s name. The word choice is most likely to emphasize the sibling relationship between Katara and Sokka to explain both to Sokka and to the audience why Zuko sought him out specifically.
And think about it. Zuko has been hanging around 24/7 with them for probably two weeks at this point. There is no way he didn’t catch Katara’s name, if he didn’t already know it. And given how diligent he was in his Avatar hunting days, he most likely did already know it.
3) The pirate episode
Okay I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…I’m so tired of people projecting some weird, creepy sexual undertones onto this episode. There was absolutely nothing abusive or misogynistic about the character interactions here. It was a very standard (and honestly a bit cheesy) example of a cartoon villain and hero interaction. The fact that you see a female character in any kind of distressed situation and immediately project sexual implications onto it is the real misogyny here. I never see people complain about similar scenes involving male characters:
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I could dig up even more examples but can you see my point? The argument that there was any abuse or sexual misconduct on Zuko’s part this episode is absolutely misogyny—but it’s audience misogyny; not Zuko’s. The canon scene would have gone exactly the same way if Katara was male. The only difference would be much fewer disgusting sexual over-analyzations of it by fans.
4) “Little girls”
For this one, an important piece of context to keep in mind is that this script was written in 2005 by a creative staff of mostly men. So we need to ask the question, is this meant to reflect misogyny on Zuko’s part, it is it the bias of the writers?
Another prime example of this is Iroh’s interactions with Jun. Obviously, that was severely creepy behavior and absolutely misogynistic. However, most fans (including myself) tend to overlook that. Why? Because it’s jarringly inconsistent with the rest of Iroh’s character and his purpose within the narrative. In context, it’s pretty obviously something the writers thought was “funny” at the time but aged like rotten milk.
Also, in regards to sexist language during fights, consider all the stupid lines like…
Azula: Who are you? The Avatar’s fan girls?
Ty Lee: You are not prettier than we are.
…in the Kyoshi Warriors vs. Dangerous Ladies fight. Seems like this is just a writer bias issue, personally. When have men ever been normal about teenage girls? Right—never.
I get this is a slippery slope, so my approach is to compare Zuko’s lines like this to everything else we know about Zuko and ask the question: is there anything about Zuko’s character that indicates he views women as inherently inferior or lesser?
Well, no.
You know what is a trend for Zuko? He focuses on putting down his opponents by acting like they’re younger and weaker than him. His first reaction to Aang is “you’re just a child.” This is consistent with his attitude towards Katara and the Kyoshi Warriors. Zuko canonically treats male and female opponents no differently. He fights and moves on. No creepiness, nothing like Iroh and Jun, etc. If they were male, it wouldn’t have gone differently. That’s why I think it’s a reach to say these comments by themselves indicate a misogynistic attitude.
Besides, why would Zuko see women as weaker and lesser when this is who he grew up with?
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That’s another thing. For as much anger and resentment Zuko harbors for Azula on the basis that she’s Ozai’s favorite and born lucky—not one comment is made about her sex. If Azula was male, nothing would inherently change about this dynamic. So yeah, I’m not really buying this whole “Zuko is a misogynistic incel” narrative. If you’ve ever dealt with incels in any capacity, you know they’d absolutely jump at the opportunity to whine that their (female) sister is so much more lucky and privileged and loved compared to them.
5) Zuko, Mai, and The Beach
I’m working on a longer analysis of this but to summarize…people on both sides blow this issue way out of proportion. Mai wasn’t abusive. Zuko wasn’t abusive. They were a pretty standard angsty teenage couple having angsty teenage drama. Zuko called Mai a big blah and shoved some dude into a vase. Mai told him he was out of control. That’s literally such a minor issue, that they resolved by the end of the episode.
But to dig into this more, consider the point this is in Zuko’s story. He’s at rock bottom. The premise of the entire episode is to show how abnormal and out of place Zuko feels among people who should be his peers. His issues with Ruon-Jian aren’t even about Mai to start. Zuko was beefing with this dude before the party even started, remember?
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Why is Zuko mad at him? Because he’s making Zuko feel freakish. He’s making Zuko feel like he once again is an outcast, and Zuko hates that. He’s insecure. That’s…the point of the episode.
I’m not going to excuse his tantrum over Ruon-Jian talking to Mai, because that was toxic, but consider the context. Zuko isn’t some crazy possessive freak. In his mind, this is just icing on the cake, another example of why he’s an antisocial freak compared to other Fire Nation teens and he hates how it makes him feel.
But interestingly enough, I do think Mai and Zuko’s interactions in that scene give some insight into their dynamic and Zuko’s character—believe it or not, in a positive way. Just consider the context and body language.
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I’m just stating facts here. Zuko is more physically threatening than Mai. He’s bigger, stronger, male, and he’s a firebender while she isn’t a bender. And yet, Mai has absolutely no trouble getting in his business to tell him off. Why? You can argue that it’s just because she thinks she could knife him—but we’ve seen how she reacts to an actual physical threat (Azula) and it isn’t like this at all. Mai is confident because she knows Zuko wouldn’t physically harm her. He’s angry, but he never once uses his figure to physically intimidate her. He clearly doesn’t make a habit of this behavior either judging from Mai’s reaction. Also think about the fact that the only physical altercation here is between Zuko and another man. The primary target of his anger isn’t the woman he’s allegedly acting possessive over unlike another character in the Ember Island Players and several comics…
Not to mention the way they reconcile around the fire. Zuko’s behavior doesn’t at all reflect an angry, entitled misogynist who thinks he owns his girlfriend. Quite the opposite. He clearly holds a lot of love and respect for her. It’s just that…this episode is literally displaying Zuko at his most tortured, his most self-hating, his most insecure as he realizes he no longer has a place in the home he’d desperately been chasing for years after being brutally mutilated and banished. With that in mind, I think he actually handled himself very well.
The thing about Zuko is that he takes accountability for his wrongs and works to improve himself. He has flaws and even when they’re understandable, he still takes responsibility for fixing them. That’s the trait of his that sets him apart from…certain other characters.
6) Zuko being rude to Ty Lee
Again, see above. Yes, Zuko was mean to her. But again, this is Zuko at rock bottom. This is Zuko venting his frustration about nobody being able to understand what he’s gone through and how isolated and freakish he feels. None of them had their faces burnt off in front of an audience. None of them were banished and forced to live as refugees. Zuko blew up at Ty Lee in the first place after she made a comment about bad skin.
Like yes, he’s rude, but did you miss the point of that episode? If you think this has anything to do with misogyny you’re just delusional, sorry. That interaction had nothing to do with Ty Lee being female. It had to do with her (and every other character that episode) living a privileged lifestyle while Zuko is (literally, too) feeling the weight of the scars his trauma has left him with.
So in conclusion, yes, I really think these takes are all shallow and unfounded jabs at Zuko’s character that either don’t understand or outright ignore critical parts of his development and story. And considering I’m #canceled for my based misandry in many circles, it should say a lot that I’m defending a man of any kind ✌️
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angelhummel · 2 years
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your glee/degrassi posts made me curious: which degrassi characters do you think are similar to the glee characters? i'd compare spinner and puck for example.
Oof not sure now I feel about that lmao. I have sooo many wildly fluctuating thoughts on Spinner that they all kind of average out into "he was ok" lmao. God honestly Spinner vibes for Finn more than Puck like aww I was a big dumb loser with no direction in high school, guess I'll become a cop/join the army (: I mean Puck too lowkey but that was just doubly dumb bc he was basically doing it for Finn like ?? calm down alksjfsdklgs
Plus there's so many more Degrassi characters than Glee characters so I feel like one Gleek is worth six Degrassians lmao
First of all Finn and Rachel want what Jay and Manny have, let's just say that. Super talented destined for stardom singer actor girl and her bf who works on cars and plays drums?? Janny outsold
Also with Jay and Alex I get Pucktana vibes. The ultimate lesbro lmao
Also Brittana are Palex and i dont ship either of them like the seemingly dark and brooding Latina lesbian with the soft spot for the preppy blonde bi cheerleader... Those dynamics look familiar
Quinn, I hate to do it to her, but a little Becky a little Darcy... Churchy good girl with the shitty parents who are oblivious to her struggles. Maybe also a little Jenna just for the teen mom thing but Puck could never and would never stoop so low to be a KC. Maybe also a little Fiona for Quinn??
Umm Karofsky and Riley are the same character. I think the only reason I like one and hate the other is bc Max could act :| Sorry bout it
I already went on record saying that Miles Hollingsworth is just fanon Sebastian Smythe alksjfslkfjs
Mercedes and Liberty a very little bit?? Mainly when it comes to Rachel/Emma & Manny acting like they were always such close besties when it's like ?? 75% of the time yall were hating on her!! Umm Terry for superficial body image issues lol. And ugh I don't know how I feel about this but maybe a little Clare?? Like in regards to keeping her faith and her relationship to sex etc etc
Actually I can very clearly see Kurt and Finn as Marco and Spinner bc I imagine s1 Finn would rather choke to death on a piece of food than let a gay guy give him the heimlich <3
Oh duh Kurt and Tristan. bc Finn and Owen (: But also bc they both have very theatrical personalities and similar arcs with body image issues and also they're both iconic
Artie is like JT and Toby's son idk
Kitty gives me early Holly J mixed with early Becky vibes
Tina maybe. Ellie and Ashley vibes :x I'm sorry alskfjslkfhs. And also superficially Leia in that they are both Asian and the show didn't care about them (:
Brittany is Lola (derogatory)
Whew that feels like a lot lmao but that's all the ones I can think of right now!! Lmk what you think!
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loz-tearsofahomo · 9 months
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I was telling my dad about ao3 and he asked "But why would anyone do it if they're not being paid?" And that genuinely makes me so sad. The fact that the majority of people are told things are only worth doing if there is financial gain in it. Oh you're an artist? Artists don't make any money.
Sometimes the point isn't money. Sometimes it's just to create.
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araneitela · 8 months
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What type of villain are you?
No Moral Compass: You are cold, analytical, and you strive to be as objective as a person of flesh and blood can be. Either don't understand the concepts of good and evil, or you understand it perfectly and think it's a load of bull. Some may call you selfish, some may call you unfeeling, but you're just doing what you believe will yield the best results, plain and simple. Why bother with petty ideals of right or wrong when you can do what will actively help those you give a fuck about? Your goals may be selfish or noble or anything in between, but you will not let anyone make you feel like garbage for going after them. You couldn't care less about what people brand you as. You just care about getting shit done by any means necessary.
Tagged by: @pluvianguis (I know you tagged my Guizhong, but I hope you don't mind! 💖) Tagging: @inominati (Caelus), @helldevour, @resolutepath (Elio), @luminaei, @icefell, @kanxing, @etherealguard, @sagnaevi (Neuv! I'm really curious), @hxkerwxlf, @narvvhal (please call out your boy), and anyone else who wants it— steal it and say I tagged you so I can read. <3
#[ et cetera. ] seems i came at a bad time. / no no; i think you couldn't have timed it better. 23:47:15. very punctual; kafka.#[ i always worry about these because even when they're accurate; there's always some little tidbits that firmly contradict the rest. ]#[ but this was pretty accurate all the way through apart from some approaches like 'think good/evil is a load of bull' because it's more..#[ complicated than that obviously. but in a general superficial gist-- yeah. that's it. ]#[ thing is-- she truly does play into the concept of that it doesn't matter to her how people perceive her or what they think she's like. ]#[ she's far past that. noble intentions for those she does care about or whether it's for selfish gains-- it simply doesn't matter. ]#[ if anything; having negative thoughts about her only means she's on your mind. it means you're unnerved but more importantly... ]#[ it means you remember her. it means she's crossed your mind. to someone like kafka-- that's only a gain. ]#[ the smiles she gave himeko and march 7th were genuine. but they only are for the extent that they are part of a game. ]#[ that's why they matter because she allows them to matter. she invites it. but beyond the games; she spares them no thought. ]#[ none whatsoever. ]#[ it's the same with something like a bounty-- it plays into this arrogance that she's perfectly aware that she has. ]#[ but ultimately yep-- what matters is the goal that she seeks and then throughout that journey... ]#[ the goals of those who she might become close to will come to matter as well. the stellaron hunters for example. ]#[ but even there-- some more than others. ]
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I love the Goncharov meme conceptually. It feels like classic academia perhaps, definitely like studying ancient philosophy at times. You get a fragment (knockoff boots), a general context (Martin Scorsese films existing), and then a very long discussion about nothing starts. But the nothingness isn't entirely nothing, and there are still limits to what can and cannot be said framed by both the existence and non-existence of that which is being discussed. Hilarious, truly, and the fact itself so very interesting to analyse in so many ways.
#This feels a bit like studying and discussing presocratics or Socrate himself xD#ngl while I loved the boots thing (I had often thought about those knockoff boots‚ I found them hilarious)#I don't find the Goncharov memes particularly funny#But the concept is fascinating conceptually and thrilling to analyse in so many levels#The fact that almost every webwaving‚ even the ones about a fake film‚ have the same quotes#That basically everything said about this film is what is said about any other popular media#Is so interesting as how short media analysis falls into superficiality and miopic repetition of patterns#As is the fact that we can discuss to eternity something that doesn't exist#in a sort of Narcissus looking at his reflection on the pond situation‚ in love with our own discussion more than the thing itself#And that's a level. But it's also very interesting in how basically everyone has a very similar idea of what the film is about#How nothingness with sprinkles can tell us something‚ a lot‚ and make a ghost of a film which can effectively to some extent be analysed#It's also hilarious in how it puts a mirror‚ so to speak‚ in front of so many academic studies#How we've basically been doing this for centuries unironically and I'd say with at least a certain sense of self awareness#How this brings back studying and discussing the lost texts of Ovid or Sappho based just on what they say about them or the absence#in what they say about them‚ or what other authors say about them or how their works are wrapped around those lost texts#How it brings back the study and analysis of presocratics like Pythagoras or even Socrate himself of which we have Plato and Xenophon#but really something close to nothing considering how important those authors are as basis of the entire history of western philosophy#And yet there's honestly so much to say about them given the nothingness we have accompanied by the something!#And Goncharov memes work a bit that way#I don't know. There are really so many facets to this meme and they are all conceptually hilarious yes xD#Another but not less important aspect of this meme that I love conceptually is that#I'm a bit fan of funny lies. I adore them. Especially when constructed between several people#And Goncharov is precisely that lol#Goncharov#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Meme shit
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cleromancy · 6 months
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love when people make a salty post about jason where they like...... would have a point except they were too distracted kinning dick to find it. ok devin
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echoesofdusk · 8 months
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not me noticing parallels between Tales of Xillia and Xenoblade Chronicles 2
obv spoilers for both games
both games have a 15 y/o boy meet a scantily clad girl/woman who holds a tremendous amount of power and makes it his mission to help her reach her goal no matter what
there's a low point in the story when the girl/woman is separated from the party to save everyone else. a party member ends up physically attacking the main male character during this low point for being down in the dumps
there's an edgelord who taps into a superpowered mode where he starts acting a little funny. said edgelord also may or may not have gay subtext with the character who serves as the game's final boss
there's a guy who's an absolute clown who tries to act all badass and cool but ends up being cartoonishly funny. he also fights the protag/party on a few occasions
both games are kinda about finding one's purpose and the kind of despair one goes through when they lose purpose/meaning
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meowkiima · 10 months
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I rlly think that if we are actually going to discuss shit here y’all should let go of the belief that countries can be inherently “bad” or “good”
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stars-inthe-sky · 1 year
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...
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[reads a lupin fic] [goldilocks voice] characters in this one are too healthy and well adjusted :/ [reads another lupin fic] characters in this one are too fucked up and genuinely evil >:/ [reads another lupin fic] contrived plot line :/ [reads another lupin fic] everyone but Jigen/Lupin/Fujiko is out of character :/ [reads another lupin fic] everyone is out of character :/ [reads another lupin fic] resolved plot lines too quickly :/ [reads another lupin fic] too self indulgent :/ [reads another lupin fic] no one acts like they even like each other :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too soft and cuddly :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too dark and gritty :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too horny :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one’s anti-horny :/ [reads another lupin fic] so many headcanons that feel tacked on :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one is too hot :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one is too cold :/ [reads another lupin f
#samurai sharkie speaks#i feel so ripped off 😭 they weren’t BAD but they weren’t. the characters you know? it was like filtered versions of them#i haven’t even read as many as this makes it seem like bc some I saw straight from the summary or the first paragraph were 👎#I’ve found less than I can count on one hand of fics that hit that sweet spot#where the characters and the story and everything all feels like itself as opposed to someone’s filtered lense of it#i went through a few tonight and I just had to stop looking bc I was getting too frustrated#the fact that even in some of the decent ones Goemon is done dirty by being portrayed as naive and soft and sweet#any fic involving Goemon is a risk bc I could just end up stuck w borderline part 5 Goemon for three paragraphs#i hate browsing fanfic or reading non-peer reviewed fanfic bc it always ends in me getting disappointed like this#i hate reading something promising and then seeing that they just cannot write more than one aspect of each characters personality#yeah we get it Jigen is cool and brooding Goemon is stoic Lupin is funny and ridiculous and Fujiko is perceptive and sexy.#poor Fujiko always gets pushed to this like. passive advice giver or event manipulator instead of being her own person too#sometimes ppl ‘girlboss’ her so hard she becomes one dimensional and boring#jigen seems to be everyone’s favorite but he gets put in the ‘I can fix him’ position way too much#for someone that has literally never been that and if anything it’s been the other way around#zenigata is mia if he’s not a focal point#lupin never gets any dedication to anything past his superficial personality#or he’s being overly condemned while all the other characters get treated like they ‘aren’t as bad’??#goemon is almost ALWAYS too nice and open and tactile#ppl act like he’s ‘the emotional one’ as if this man hasn’t worn the same expression since 1967 or whatever
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mothslimes · 1 day
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last post: if homophobic dads want their sons to toughen up and stop being into pansy shit, just send them to art school. nothing makes you hate art quicker than be around a bunch of pretentious artists
#mik talks#i have some conflict with the word pretentious because by definiton i am pretentious#but i do need that word kinda to deal with these feelings i haev towards other people in my field#this.... thought that they are so much more educated and jsut get it all better than me andthere is no way i can make good art#because i am so young and not experienced. and yes i guess that is true i dont think i make good art#but its so...here comes another tumblrized word: elitist#i cant afford to go to a shit ton of museums and i dont have the energy to do it anyway#and so many artists nowadays are just rich people with a lot of time on their hands#i miss when art was about being chaotic and just doing shit in between shifts at work and not just... a whole field you went into#i dont believe in the separation of humans into artists and non artists because i think fundamentally every human is an artist#and everything a human makes just for its own sake is art#or can be art. or maybe the category is broader. honestly what do i know im 19#and this is what bothers me because its that stupid ass smart people school that bragged about being top in our state i went to again#just that all over again. constantly being told what a chance you have and how much smarter than everyone you are. its tiring#and that is a privileged thing to say except they dont rlly tell me im smarter than others. they tell me i should be. i just dont meet the#expectations of the field i went to. i guess im burned out when it comes to art#everything has alrady been said and done#and if im completely honest i want to gatekeep art more which is entirely contradictory to what i just said because#once again here comes in my fear. i dont want people who are not humans or who i do not recognize as humans. people who i#recognize as wanting to hurt me. i dont want them to know about art. because if they do the things i do that means i could be like them#and that scares me because i dont want to be liek them and i dont want themt o be like me and i dont want to be tricked by them#god this sounds psychotic#when i say people who are not humans i am referrign to a specific kind of superficial person. the kind that bullies people#except i genuinely am sometimes convinced they do not experience human emotions#and there is no way to remind myself that they do because i just cant see it. anyway
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desertdragon · 9 months
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Having to do ARR ten million times bc of my alts serves to constantly remind me that Minfillia was kinda a real one
E: beat it again just now after 3 day speedrun
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loriache · 1 month
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
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This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
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His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
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The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
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But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
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So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
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Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
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The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
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Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
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That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
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The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
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And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
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Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
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I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
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Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
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and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
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tiredeyes1975 · 1 year
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three-ish months left of my junior year in high school. honestly just going where life takes mei 
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