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there's going to be a doctor who renaissance someday soon and when you finally give 12 a chance you will come crawling to my door and say i was right all along. that weird old man does fuck so hard after all
Obi-Wan: Alright, men, what are we thinking right now?
Wooley: *shoved his lil hand up super fast* Oh, me! I got this one, me!
Obi-Wan: *waving his hand over them all* Hmmmmmmm- you. *points to Wooley*
Wooley: *fist pumps* Yes! Okay so I think we should throw Cody a decanting-day party with cheeses.
Obi-Wan: Cheeses?
Waxer: No he’s right, Cody likes cheeses. And caf. I think we should get him an espresso machine.
Obi-Wan: Those are super expensive, I have several contacts I can pout at till they buy me one. Why cheeses? I’ve never seen Cody’s apparently well known love for cheese.
Boil: Yeah, that’s cause he’s scared you’ll think he’s insane.
Obi-Wan: Okay, but, like, is this a fancy stinky cheese thing or is he gonna eat an entire block of store brand cheddar right from the package??? This is news to me and both have to be approached very differently.
Wooley: It’s the stinky one. They’re like SUPER icky but he loves them but he will eat them right from the package with nothing but bread at room temperature.
Obi-Wan: No, no, that’s how those ones are supposed to be eaten.
Wooley: Is gross tho.
Waxer: Idk I think they’re good if the bread is crunchy, but I like the not-as-smelly ones.
Boil: I’ll eat the store brand cheddar right from the block idk man
Obi-Wan: Awesome, I have an idea. Party at Padme’s house, new espresso machine that I’ll get… probably Bail, I haven’t annoyed Bail lately. I’ll get Bail to buy him an espresso machine. You guys get to come with me to look for cheeses, both fancy and store brand, but they will be on separate sides of the room so no one complains. I’m sorry, Boil, but this means you’ll be with Anakin and Ahsoka on the store brand side of the room.
Boil: The price of not smelling that stinky stuff is worth it every time.
eng subs requested, however as this is an instructional video please take it with a grain of salt as i cant promise a perfect translation! if you spot any mistakes please lmk~
EDIT: the balsamic vinegar mentioned in the video should be Zhenjiang vinegar
Cody: … SIIIR!! INSTEAD OF STEALING MY SHIRTS, YOU SHOULD STEAL MY ARMOR
Wooley: Should, eh? *raises a brow with a grin*
Cody: *glares*
Obi-Wan, enters the room wearing all of Cody’s shirts all at once, because it’s soft and warm and cozy: Oh no need my dear. I am well protected *smiles bright *
I'm with you there on preferring bottom!Alastor and getting squicked out by top!Alastor. The squick is worse for me when searching radioapple than radiostatic stuff, and I think it has more to do with the egregious amount of uke-fication of Lucifer that I've seen. Vox and Al get it sometimes too, let's be real that's gonna happen in any mlm ship. But I feel like it happens SO often to Lucifer, mostly cause he's small and cute, that people completely forget he's the oldest and most powerful entity in hell.
He would NOT be genuinely scared or intimidated by Al or any other sinner for that matter and Al would NOT be able to physically overpower or threaten Luci. It just feels so wildly out of character for me that any of the appeal of the ship/characters is gone at that point.
Like, for real, no shade to anyone that likes that, go on and get your food. But my extreme dislike of it has me now avoiding bottom!Lucifer radioapple like the plague just so I don't risk being subjected to it.
I think...I think you just described why I feel so squicked out by bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor 😦 Like, I couldn't figure out what exactly about it was throwing me off, but you just said it perfectly!!
That's literally it! It's the uke-fication of Lucifer. That's it. Lucifer would never feel threatened by Alastor. He would never be overpowered by Alastor. So when I see depictions of Alastor successfully intimidating Lucifer, or overpowering him at all, it just throws me out of the story.
Lucifer's been alive longer than Hell. Alastor's measely 100+ years of being alive is nothing compared to his millennia+ lifespan. And yeah, Lucifer is the strongest person in Hell, he could beat Alastor in any fight, no question. He has no reason to be scared or threatened by him.
And look, there are ways to get Lucifer to a point of being afraid. There are always a way to make characters act in a way you wouldn't typically see. In fact, Lucifer, the biggest, baddest person in Hell, being threatened by something would be a huge thing for his character and for the story. That could totally work!
But when it comes from Alastor just going into his demon form, or looming over Lucifer, I just 🥲 it takes me out of the story. I can't. Alastor may be a big bad Overlord, and he's dangerous for sure, but like...power-wise he is just not on Lucifer's level and Lucifer knows that--Alastor knows that--and this is what makes their dynamic so, SO interesting, especially if they're in a relationship or slowly building into a relationship. That's what makes it so spicy and flavorful. The push and pull. The insecurity and emotion. The complex dynamic between them.
I think you're right about it making bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor lose its appeal. I went back through my Twitter bookmarks yesterday and found a few top!Alastor's & bottom!Lucifer's that I've saved, but I've come to dislike that generalized characterization of it so much that I avoid it it like the plague too.
And like you said, there's no hate to those who enjoy it. This is fandom and people are allowed to write, draw, and do what they want. It's all fiction and it's not hurting anyone.
I just don't like the top!Alastor & bottom!Lucifer dynamic in most fan-arts, and I don't click onto fics with it cause I just don't want to subject myself to an unenjoyable time 😂 I'm here to have fun too, afterall.