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amber-sekio · 2 months

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Relationship Headcanons

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

TW: none? I think?

DAZAI

I said it in my Soukoku fic, Dazai wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times

Like he might realize when someone is showing interest in a sexual kind

And he would probably notice if someone is crushing on him

But like, if he likes them back?

Man is blind

He’s too busy panicking over read denying his own thoughts and feelings over you to analyze your actions

He’s busy trying to think of anything but how pretty you are when he sees you -thank you very much

No joke though, this can be applied to pretty much anyone he cares about

I mean he practically had a heart attack when Atsushi gave him flowers

Anyways if he finally admits to himself that he likes you then I could see him trying to push you away if I’m being brutally honest

He doesn’t want to lose you and he believes that anything he wants that he obtains, will be striped from him sooner or later

But…, in a perfect world he would eventually work up the courage to ask you out

He would probably avoid directly asking you but this is Dazai so he could defiantly figure out some round-about way to ask

As for the relationship?

He would still be his teasing self

But he would tone it down

Not because he doesn’t want to annoy you but more so because he actually lets some of his masks down when alone with you

He defiantly is very clingy to you

Man has been touch starved for a long time and he fears attachment too much to be touchy with the ADA members

But now he has you, who not only tolerates him but has decided to stay with him?

Of course he’s not going to let this chance slip from his grasp before all this inevitably ends (he’s still in denial)

He never cared much for holidays like Christmas or Valentines

But now he wants to experience them, with you

He’s always thinking, plans and outcomes racing through his mind, what ifs and regrets

But like, if you ruffle his hair, his brain just stops.

Like no thoughts, he short circuits

When his brain returned to him the first time it happened he panicked

Like, who gave you that amount of control?

After that first time he continued to try and get you to do it without asking

He needed his brain to shut up every now and then, and now he has a reliable source

Anyways, he likes to be a spoiled princess

No one can change my mind

For all his predictions he will never be able to predict your love and kindness for him

CHUUYA

Someone give this poor man a hug

Ugh, my heart

I can‘t imagine him wanting to date a normal citizen, too much of a risk

So you’d probably have to work in the Mafia

Even then, dating you would still be placing a huge target on you

He would actually take you out on dates before asking you out

Dates with him would be romantic

Like dinner by candle light vibes

He’d be strategic on where you guys sit

No need to be precarious on what you order, it’s all on him

When he does ask you out he would be slightly flustered but it just makes him adorable

Say yes, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more

He would spoil you to no end

If you want it, you can have it

You’re the only one allowed to call him short

He might get flustered from PDA in the start but will gradually warm up to it

Nothing clingy, just hand holding, a hand around your waist, a quick kiss here or there

But if he sees some guy hitting on you?

Down right possessive, arm snug around your waist, shoulder to shoulder

And if he’s drunk? Even worse

Like he’s pulling you onto his lap just to make sure that asshole knows your taken

If you do work in the mafia with him, he likes going on easier missions with you

And while he knows that you can handle yourself just fine, he can’t help but imagine something bad happening to you when he isn’t there to save you

He’s lost too many people in his life, please, don’t leave him as well

He loves when you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat

And while you do that he’ll run his fingers through your hair

Chuuya loves to spoil you rotten as I stated, it’s his love language

So sometimes he’ll just hand you his black card and let you go shopping with friends or something

In fact, he encourages you to buy what you want

FYODOR

Honestly? Where do I start with him?

Like congratulations if you meet him and make it out alive

I don’t know if I should congratulate him taking an interest in you though

I feel like he believe that the interest he had in you was purely innocent curiosity

But I also don’t think he would try to delude himself for as long as Dazai does

Eventually he would notice that something was different about his interest for you than usual

And while he would hesitate to put a name to it so quickly he would eventually give in after realizing there was no stoping this feeling from festering in him

After coming to terms with his romantic? Feelings and interest in you he would definitely begin to manipulate you into feeling the same way for him

If you don’t already that is

If you don’t confess then he’ll definitely do the same thing Dazai did

And when you agree, he of course knew you would, he makes you move in with him

He can’t let his dearest other slip from his finger now can he?

I feel like before ever getting into a relationship, you would have been made aware of his ‘work’

Please, make sure the man eats

And takes his iron pill

Nikolai is getting a little tired of that daily routine despite how much he loves to be around Fyodor

Anyways, dates aren’t a very common thing in fact, very, very rare

I mean… what did you expect?

Man’s a literal terrorist

That being said, from time to time he’ll leave his ‘lair’ to spend time with you

If you ask, he’ll gladly play the cello for you

If he snaps at you for ‘bothering him with pointless things’ when you bring him his iron pill or food just listen

Don’t bother him with such things

And then same thing the next day

And after some 4 or 5 days he’ll stumble from his room

Staggering as he tries not to collapse or faint from both his lack of energy and his iron deficiency

And when he walks into the kitchen trying to get the iron pill bottle open?

Let him stumble his way over to you and ask for help before you finally do as such

And he realizes just how dependent on you he’s become

It’ll happen again eventually

But as of that moment, it’ll at least be awhile before the cycle repeats

(That last part of Fyodor’s was based upon some fanfic I read for him. I'm not sure who it was by, but I’ll tag it if and when I do find it.)

A/N: anyways, believe it or not, I love Chuuya just as much as I do Fyodor and Dazai

I’m just not as confident in his character. Since I’m a lot like Dazai, he comes easy to me and by substitute, Fyodor does as well

But Chuuya? Despite him being one of my 5 favorites along with Dazai and Fyodor, I just don’t resonate personally enough with him to write him really well

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hamliet · 3 months

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BSD 112: War and Peace

Now that the manga has finally caught up to the anime, I shall say that I am still pretty convinced Fyodor will pull a Jesus and be fine.

That said, I hella loved this chapter. The themes, man. Essentially Fukuchi is inviting Fukuzawa to become God, though I would NOT be surprised to see a certain new character show up considering this entire chapter is basically Fukuchi and Fukuzawa trading paraphrased quotes from A Certain Novel.

It's a battle of free will vs peace, and how we walk that line as individuals and societies... war is futile and hell, and pointless because what even is a state anyways besides some arbitrary idea we've all agreed to for... reasons, and yet if you remove the ability for war and conflict as a whole, you don't really have humanity but instead mind-controlled slaves.

War is not a polite recreation, but the vilest thing in life, and we ought to realize this and not make a game of it... as it stands now it's the favorite pastime of the idle and frivolous.”

Every action of theirs, that seems to them an act of their own freewill is in the historical sense not free at all but is bound up with the whole course of history and preordained from all eternity... Man lives consciously for himself, but serves as an unconscious instrument for the achievement of historical, universally human goals.

It's true that people are born where they are born, and caught up in the stories that are grander than they are. Everyone likes to imagine what they know and what they experience and what they want and believe is True, but is it? Or is it merely a product of how they've grown? Is it a product of the centuries and millennia of people before us who create wars and conflicts and use us in them?

Yes, humans are used as unconscious instruments. But is that all they are? All they should be? Fukuchi seems to think yes. If they're currently used as instruments of war, then why not use them. as instruments of peace?

Fukuzawa, however, thinks otherwise.

It's an existential question humanity has been wrestling over since human beings have existed, and it won't be answered anytime soon because there is no neat answer. It's the paradox of human nature and human existence.

He had learned that, as there is no situation in the world in which a man can be happy and perfectly free, so there is no situation in which he can be perfectly unhappy and unfree.

Dictatorships are known, obviously, for suppressing free will and free expression.

Now, in War and Peace, Tolstoy's answer is love. And God, who is Love. But love first and foremost since Tolstoy himself wasn't super religious when writing it (later on he was though).

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.

Yet, if you remove the ability to choose love or violence, then:

A man having no freedom cannot be conceived of except as deprived of life.

And it's pretty clear what lesson Fukuchi has to learn:

Life is everything. Life is God. Everything shifts and moves, and this movement is God. And while there is life, there is delight in the self-awareness of the divinity. To love life is to love God. The hardest and most blissful thing is to love this life in one's suffering, in the guiltlessness of suffering.

Life sucks. War is hell. It makes life feel like it's not worth living. But without free will, you are not alive at all.

For if we allow that human life is always guided by reason, we destroy the premise that life is possible at all.

Anyways, even if Leo Tolstoy does not appear as an actual character with the supreme ability of "War and Peace," well, he sure is influencing this arc a lot.

#ask hamliet #war and peace #bsd 112 #bsd meta #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #bsd fukuzawa #fukuchi ouchi #bsd theory #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs 112

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kunikinnie · 2 years

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ango wants to be noticed

BSD: Love is War? 100 Followers Event Genre: fluff, pining Word count: 1.8k Warnings: none, I think Synposis: Notice me, kouhai. a/n: believe it or not, this is based on personal experience owo AHAHA also this might not really follow the prompt... but hope you enjoy it anyway lol

...why was this so hard?

Perhaps it was because he was so by the book that Ango was always at a loss whenever it came to you. He’d never forget the first time he realized he had desired to become closer to you more than a coworker should, more than a friend should. Unfortunately it never became easier for him since then.

Were you just so terribly dense, or was he just so terribly unlucky?

For example, whenever he needed his eyes to survive a bit longer, canned black coffee was more than enough for him. He rarely had the time nor energy to buy the fancy stuff. But when he noticed you had a slight dependence on caffeine as well, he made it a point to buy you some from a café every now and then (but still quite often, if he were to be honest).

Yet every time he’d hand you your cup in person, you’d always get flustered and tell him it was unnecessary. You were his subordinate after all, and if there’s anyone who should be handing out free drinks it would be you.

At first, this did not bother him much. You were just being polite, that’s all. And of course that’s a good thing. However, it seems that the message he was trying so subtly to convey and hide at the same time was misinterpreted even on different occasions.

Once he saw you nearly pass out from the workload you had to deal with. On the next assignment, he finished some of what was supposed to be your paperwork himself. You thanked him profusely, but you apologized just as much.

“I’ll do my best to work better and faster, so please don’t stress yourself again, senpai.”

He’s beginning to detest that word. Had he been at the same level of the hierarchy as you – or if you were just friends – then you’d have been all over him already. “You’re such a kind person” or “I’m so lucky to have you” or “You’re so sweet, Ango-“

Is it really too much to ask?

Compliment them.

He can’t believe he’s actually searching the net for something like this. Trivial troubles, or so he says, should be easily solved by using one’s mental capacities alone. Yet even he knew that he was at a complete loss whenever it came to you, and as such would swallow a tiny bit of his pride by consulting forums and articles written by strangers.

Spend more time with them.

So far, these all make sense. Good advice even. A bit too bold for his liking but it’s not like he has the choice to be picky.

Or just ask them out already!

No. Hell no. That was too much of a risk! Besides, if you had to reject him so pitifully, he’ll never be able to be in the same room as you. Ask you out on a date so soon? Psh. Even if it were those so-called “friendly dates,” he was not that desperate to invite you to one.

Yet here he was, doing some “research” of his own.

He was currently dawdling at a local art museum. According to one website, it’s a good place to “elevate the conversation above the usual first date banalities.”1 Of course, Ango has no way of knowing if this was true, but he did like the idea of having a “classy” date with you. Not that he’ll ask you out on one – for now, at least.

But it’s not like there was any harm in examining... future possibilities, was there?

He examined the exhibits. Since he was familiar with the era they came from, being the nerd that he is, Ango was certainly enjoying looking at such old pieces. He’s just not sure if you’d fit a place like this; the truth is, there was much about you he still had to learn.

Yet he couldn’t help imagining you standing beside him, staring at the pieces just like he was. What would you look like in more casual clothing? Would your hair be styled differently? How bright would your smile be? Why was he wasting his time staring at archaic paintings when the most beautiful work of art was you?

“Senpai?”

That voice was oddly realistic. It was as if-

“Senpai! I’m surprised to see you here.”

He must have been dreaming. Please tell him it’s a dream!

You chuckled. “Is it so strange to see me here?”

“I-I just didn’t expect to run into you, that’s all.”

He scanned you from head to toe with greater scrutiny than any of the artworks in the hall or even when he inspected confidential government files. It was so surreal – it really was you in the flesh, and you were wearing something that his imagination couldn’t even compare to.

You said you wanted to kill time and decided to visit a museum that wasn’t too far away. The entrance fee was pretty cheap, plus there were some good restaurants and cafés in the area you were dying to try.

“Well, since we bumped into each other, would you mind if I join you?” Where he got his sudden confidence, he did not know.

You smiled softly. “No, not at all.” Ah, what a relief.

Ango did most of the explaining while you did most of the teasing. For example, you’d stumble upon a surrealist sculpture of a man with a strange expression and comment that it “looked like him.” You’d laugh at yourself at your “genius” at the expense of his sanity.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

You rarely showed this friendlier side of you at work, and it felt like he was blessed to see it. How you managed to jump from being a flustered subservient kouhai to a bubbling teasing companion would forever be a mystery to him. You rarely showed this friendlier side of you at work, and it felt like he was truly blessed to see it so closely.

Not to mention that you seem genuinely interested in whatever he was saying, factual or otherwise. Generally, you’d maintain some sort of air of impartiality at work, which is why your sudden enthusiasm and honest expressions felt so foreign – foreign, but very much welcomed.

“You’re so different outside of work,” you said through a small smile.

“The same goes for-“

A sudden phone call interrupted your conversation. Ango apologetically accepted it and gestured to leave for a moment. You bowed your head slightly in response.

It had been a call from one of his superiors; they really don't know what a “day off” was, did they? He flipped his phone shut in annoyance then hurried back to where you were.

Ango’s strengths are, according to him: memory, judgement, and being able to maintain a cool head during a difficult situation.

Yet your sudden disappearance challenged the very last one.

Had it been any other person, he would have been offended at their actions. He couldn’t find his previous company in the room at all, and it was more than rude for someone to leave without a proper farewell. But for some reason he could only blame himself for losing you.

Perhaps you found his company to be boring, or worse stifling. What if you only meant to greet him then be off your own merry way? But you felt forced to join him when he asked you to, or that you felt pity on him for looking like a wandering, miserable fellow in a bright and beautiful place...

What was he thinking? That you might have even just a shred of affection? Haah. What an idiot he was.

You’d probably never see him as more than a stodgy superior.

“Senpai?”

His heart nearly stopped when you called to him from behind. He turned around sharply only to be met by your eyes dripping with concern.

He must have looked like an idiot scrambling about.

“I waved my hand but you didn’t seem to notice me,” you chuckled. “I felt a bit tired so I sat over there, but now that I’m here I guess I can see why.”

He almost laughed. Him not notice you? That should be impossible since your very presence was enough to stir something in him. But twice already in a single day did he not see or recognize you, so he might not have been as attentive as he thought he was.

“Should I treat you for dinner as an apology for worrying you?”

“I’d prefer it if I at least paid for my own meal, but yes I’d like to have dinner with you.”

“But it’s the least I could do for you, senpai-“

“Y/N,” his breath stopped for a moment as his eyes met yours. “I’d- I would prefer it if you called me by name.”

Your eyes shifted slightly as you tried to think of a proper response. “Then, Sakaguchi-san?”

His lips opened slightly and remained frozen for a moment. Should he really continue to the push the truth out?

“...that will do, I suppose.”

What was he going to say? Agh, he’s such an idiot. A little time with you like this and he’s all over the moon, his courage skyrocketing even as far as Mars.

You only continued to stare at his strained face, as if to make things worse. Stop trying to read him – not right now, at least – or else his brain might explode from the shame. Stop trying to dig into the true intentions behind his words – why did it have to be now and not when he wanted you to – or else his whole person will cease to exist. Well, he’d rather cease to exist, at least.

“Then is Ango-san fine?”

The expression in his eyes could not hide behind the thick lenses of his glasses, and as he slowly turned his head to face you he could feel all the blood rush to his face.

“That’s what most people call you, so I thought-“

“Y-yes, yes. That’s fine.”

With a shaky finger he pushed up his glasses even though they were properly propped on his nose. His mind was in a panic along with every cell in his body, yet he believed that he was able to maintain a mildly cool expression.

Then you began to chuckle. Oh God please take him right now.

“Are you always this adorable outside of the office?”

“H-hey, I’m not I- Y/N, this isn’t-”

The lighthearted teasing continued for the night, although whether or not it was fortunate for the fragile heart of Sakaguchi Ango no one really knows. What’s for certain, however, was that amidst the confusion and embarrassment his eyes were locked on you the entire time, both subconsciously and consciously studying every little bit of you.

If he squinted just a little more, then he might have noticed the faint blush on your cheeks since the moment you greeted him.

#bsd #sakaguchi ango #bsd ango x reader #bsd ango x y/n #bsd angst

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anti-dazai-blog · 2 years

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1.1– Why would Dazai assume Atsushi could swim (and other complaints)

A quick but necessary philosophical sidetrack:

A really big question arises when trying to decipher every Asshole move Dazai makes throughout bsd, and that would be

What level of premeditated is all of this?

How much of bsd was planned out by Dazai? How many “reveals” were already known? At what point exactly did he plan out the events he manipulated? Of course, you can’t hold someone accountable for things they weren’t aware of. But Dazai, being Dazai, is practically omniscient. Should I just assume he knows everything, and every event is part of some big master plan of his? If that were the case, then he wouldn’t be held morally accountable for any of it, since he would know that the actions he is taking are the only ones that lead to the desired outcome he has in mind (something that we, the audience, can safely assume is necessary for the safety of Yokohama).

There’s no real way of properly answering this question. So, since this is an anti-Dazai blog, I’ll be assuming whatever it takes to hold Dazai the most accountable. Or, in short, Dazai knows everything, so long as it’s both a) Convenient to me, and b) reasonable enough to assume he knows the information in question.

The question of what Dazai does and doesn’t know in advance, and what situations he did or didn’t manipulate to his liking, will come up over and over again. We’ll deal with that later. NOW, ONTO WHAT YOU ALL CAME HERE FOR: A BREIF YET THOROUGH RUNDOWN OF EVERYTHING DAZAI DID WRONG EVER

………………………………………

And we’ll start with the title of this post— why and how did Dazai assume that Atsushi would know how to swim? Dazai’s plan was to fake a suicide attempt, while the thing he was actually attempting to do was to catch Atsushi’s attention. However, if Atsushi didn’t know how to swim, he’d have two options: ignore the guy who’s probably half-dead already, or jump in and risk his own life. Either option would be unnecessarily emotionally or physically taxing on Atsushi— either he’d end up assuming he just watched some guy die without doing anything to help him, or he’d half-drown himself to try to rescue a stranger.

Atsushi grew up in an orphanage. Who taught him how to swim? When was he taught? Why was he taught? Did he not know how to swim until that very moment, and when he jumped in his instincts kicked in? I myself didn’t know how to swim until I was around 13. Up until then, I doubt I would have survived if I had been suddenly dropped into a body of water.

Either this was presumptuous on Dazai’s part, or he simply didn’t care whether or not Atsushi could swim, so long as the river delivered him safely to the tiger he was after.

Which leads us to another fault of Dazai’s here:

For any normal person, watching a person drown (whether through suicide or through accident) would be a highly traumatic experience. It’s played for laughs in the anime and manga— “Look At The Silly Bandaged Man, Casually Drowning In The River! How Silly Of Him!” Imagine you were walking alongside a river, and witnessed someone drowning. That’s not the sort of thing you see on Just Another Tuesday. That’s the sort of thing that will leave a lasting impression in your mind- that would haunt you at night for years to come.

So why would Dazai choose to approach Atsushi in such a manner in the first place? maybe because he’s a capital-a Asshole who straight up doesn’t give a sh*t how his actions affect those around him.

[now, I’m not saying he never had a real suicide attempt in his life. Chances are he had many. I will say, however, that all his attempts while his fellow agency members are around are Just For The Meme Of It.]

But enough about his mistreatment of his tiger-boy for now. Especially since at this point, they’ve barely even met each other. Onto his mistreatment of his dear work partner, Kunikida (and oh boy. We have a lot to unpack here.)

Let’s assume that the whole point of his “drowning” was to find the tiger he and Kunikida were looking for, and eventually recruit him into the agency.

Wouldn’t it have been a lot easier. And a lot more, shall I say, decent, for him to tell Kunikida his plans of recruiting this stranger as their new member?

He really doesn’t like making things easy on Kunikida. But matters of recruitment involve everyone in the agency, not just himself or his partner. Things like this are relevant and necessary for him to discuss with others in advance. As we know from Atsushi’s entrance exam, things like this are not decided on by a single person.

Dazai’s bad habit of withholding crucial information extends further than that though— Why didn’t he tell Kunikida that this boy is the tiger they’re after?

That piece of information is arguably more important than mentioning his plans of recruitment. Surely he could let Kunikida know that the case is solved and there’s no need for any additional work he’s inevitably putting in on the side to try and track down our local elusive tiger boy. Surely any decent person— or even any not-so-decent person— would have the courtesy of announcing that the job has already been completed and there’s no need for additional work. Actually, I’ll take this a step farther- it’s the natural instinct of any human being to inform the person who gave them an assignment when the assignment is complete.

Think about it, if your boss tells you to go fill out some forms, you’d either tell him when you’ve completed that task, or put the forms in the assigned place. You would do that because that’s the way things are done: you get a job, you complete a job, you submit what you’ve completed. You’d have to make the conscious decision not to submit your work once it’s completed, and for what purpose would you choose to do that? Do you enjoy when your coworkers and boss encounter setbacks because of you? Possibly, if you really hate your workplace. But in Dazai’s case, I’d say it’s pretty clear he doesn’t. But what does an Asshole know of friends and enemies, when everyone’s equally a target for his torments?

And so he doesn’t tell Kunikida that this boy is the tiger. And so he keeps this crucial piece of information from him. Alright, that makes him an Asshole, but that doesn’t make him cruel. And as promised, I’m here to prove that his actions go beyond simple Asshole-ery and cross the border into cruelty. Which is pretty obvious, considering Kunikida is actually not the number one person on the list of People Who Should Be Told That Atsushi’s The Tiger. See, he also neglects to tell Atsushi.

At this point of the story, Atsushi isn’t entirely aware that he himself is the tiger he’s so afraid of. All Atsushi knows is that this tiger is following him— haunting him— as a constant shadow looming over his shoulder. It’s following him around. It’s causing some level of destruction. And he’s scared. He feels like he’s cursed. He’s just been kicked out of his orphanage, he’s living on the streets, half-starved to death, and he has no idea if he’ll even survive the week.

If it were anyone else, I’d say that maybe they don’t understand what Atsushi’s going through. But this is Dazai. This is someone who worked in the mafia with Chuuya, Q, and probably countless others who have abilities they can’t fully control. He has plenty of first-hand experience witnessing how terrifying it can be when your own biggest enemy lives within you. You can never escape it— the only option is facing it head on. And Atsushi cannot do that until he’s made aware of where his worst enemy— the tiger— truly resides.

Yet Dazai chooses not to tell him. And for what? For the sake of a fun reveal later? For the sake of dramatic tension? Honestly, at this point I’m starting to suspect that Dazai might just be a very messed up theater kid. Although that’s not so far from the truth, considering his favorite hobby is lying acting.

And so Atsushi suffers a few hours longer than he had to, to feed this Asshole’s need for Big Dramatic Reveals.

Now onto a more petty complaint. Dazai’s first words to Atsushi.

You’d assume a person trying to convince someone to work for them would have the sense to be at least a little nice to the guy who’s potentially gonna be their new coworker. But Dazai has no sense, at all, ever. (And no cents either, but we’ll get to that when we talk about how he’s always spending Kunikida’s money).

The first thing he says to Atsushi- the kid who risked his own life to try and save his— is scolding and harsh (and somewhat belittling). It’s understandable enough if he speaks that way to people who already know him. They expect nothing less, they expect nothing more. Of course Dazai, the suicide-obsessed Asshole Of Epic Proportions, would scold someone for interrupting his wonderful river bath. But Atsushi didn’t just interrupt him; he saved him. He jumped in and pulled him out. He took action that put himself in danger to try and help him. And his reward for this selfless deed? Some idiot he just met complaining to him— calling him rude for interrupting his self-imposed untimely demise.

Not only that, but he goes as far as to start mocking his savior. Atsushi asks “what- Drowning?”, surprised that the man he just saved wanted water in his lungs more than CPR to get the water out. Instead of, say, confirming Atsushi’s (rightfully) surprised reaction as correct, he goes “Oh, you’ve never heard of drowning?” and begins explaining the concept— purposely misunderstanding Atsushi’s question as a request for a definition, rather than the rhetorical type often exclaimed in shock.

Really. That’s just not the sort of thing you’d want to do to someone who’s confidence levels can only be measured in negative numbers. Sure, there’d be a laugh track playing in the background at that point if BSD had a laugh track in the first place. Sure, it’s supposed to be comedic. But we’ve all had our moments of low confidence, and we all can understand easily enough: if your words are constantly twisted— if they’re then used against you to mock or belittle you— you’ll very quickly learn to shut the hell up. And for those to be the first words Dazai chooses to say to Atsushi… well, it doesn’t bode well for Atsushi gaining his much needed confidence in the future. (Luckily he has a bunch of friendly agency members who’ve got his back. If not, he’d be beyond doomed.)

Now this is around the point when Kunikida shows up.

I really dreaded writing about Kunikida, Akutagawa, and Chuuya. Because with most other characters, the wrongs Dazai commits are arguably Perfectly Fine Things To Do (I mean, you’re wrong if you believe that they are, but still. They’re arguably Perfectly Fine.) But with those three characters? The wrongs are OBVIOUS. They’re BLATANT. They’re really in your face. And yet, with two out of three of them (Kunikida and Chuuya), Dazai’s torments and tortures are often outright overlooked.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but Dazai’s treatment of all three of them is horrendous and shouldn’t be discarded as a joke.

Anyway. Dazai has now “lost his wallet in the river”— a statement which we, the audience, don’t buy, just like Dazai doesn’t buy anything. Ever. Because he always leeches off of everyone around him and scams them into paying for all his needs.

But that’s no surprise to anyone. At this point, we already know Dazai and can easily expect him to do things like this. The problem isn’t that he’s a leech— if he were leeching off of someone rich, then honestly? Good For Him. Eat The Rich. The problem lies in who exactly he’s leeching off of.

Of all people, his most popular victim is Kunikida. Kunikida, a man making the same paycheck that he himself is making. And a man does double the work to earn it.

Let me say it louder for those in the back: Twice the work. For the same pay. And who is responsible for this? Who is responsible for the tragic fate that has befallen this poor man? ((At this rate, he will literally be a poor man.))That’s right. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s none other than our man of the hour, Dazai Osamu himself.

THIS is the man he chooses to extort money from.

THIS is the person he chooses— someone who he’s singlehandedly responsible for both the increased workload and diminishing finances of.

And that’s not even the worst part. Universally speaking, no one likes work and no one likes losing money. So giving Kunikida more work and less money is not exactly a Saw-level personal punishment for him. And of course, Dazai isn’t satisfied with himself unless it is. So he goes and targets the thing Kunikida cares about the most: his schedule.

There’s no word for that other than cruelty. What did Kunikida ever do to Dazai, to have to watch something he puts so much time and effort into get destroyed right before his eyes?

And what does Dazai gain from it, other than some form of twisted satisfaction, to go out of his way to ruin his partner’s day?

Dazai’s fun little dive into the river is more costly than it may seem at first glance (monetarily, physically, and emotionally. For multiple people). All of Dazai’s antics are more costly than they seem. And before the series ends, I’d love to see him pay in full for all that he has done.

Next>

#AND THAT’S IT FOR SCENE ONE #Listen I’m gonna say this a billion times. I don’t hate dazai AS A CHARACTER #he’s very well written #ok now that that’s out of the way #dazai’s the worst lmao let’s all hate on him together #anyway onto tagging this properly so people can find it #bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #atsushi bsd #kunikida bsd

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caffeinatedseri · 3 years

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Dazai and No Longer Human’s Yozo

It’s no secret that BSD’s Dazai draws heavily from his real life counterpart, especially from his semi-autobiographical work: No Longer Human. To preface, No Longer Human is written from the perspective of the main character Yozo, with the book itself being a documentation of Yozo’s notebooks (essentially his journals) throughout his life.

As you progress through the novel, it becomes increasingly clear that Yozo lives an extremely two-sided life; his foolish personality acts as a facade to others in attempts to hide the darker nature within him.

Dazai shares that obvious similarity with Yozo, but Dazai is characterized in a somewhat vague and mysterious way that leaves a lot of his inner thoughts up to interpretation and inferences. Thus, I’ll be going through some of my favorite quotes from No Longer Human and analyzing Dazai’s character through his similarities to Yozo.

(For the sake of readability, excerpts from No Longer Human will be in pictures, and quotes from the light novel will be in regular block quotes).

Dazai and Yozo’s Participation in Clownery

To start off, Dazai noticeably participates in the same “clowning” as Yozo, which in particular stands out with PM Dazai.

““How did your leg get hurt?” I pointed to the bandages, thinking that it must be the result of some violent fight. “I was reading a book titled ‘How to Prevent Accidental Injuries’ while walking when I accidentally fell into a ditch.” I wasn’t expecting such an abnormal response.” — LN 2, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era (Oda’s POV)

This is pretty standard Dazai behavior, but the interesting part is how Yozo specifically used the word “deceiving.” If we were to assume Yozo’s true thoughts are Dazai’s as well, then it would imply that Dazai feels as if he’s manipulating people with his absurd claims (such as the above). However, in actuality, his clownish behaviors sound more like a joke, or some type of self-deflection, rather than an attempt to manipulate people. (Yozo also states that he would often incriminate himself by overexaggerating certain things, but I don’t think Dazai does that).

The second statement Yozo makes implies that he doesn’t care about ethics, morality, or the supposed “right way” of living life that’s described as “righteousness.”

Yozo’s statement on “righteousness” parallels Dazai’s in Dark Era, but Dazai’s statement carries a slightly different sentiment. Rather than being indifferent to the likes of morality, Dazai says that he’s “hated” by the concept of morality.

I’ll be speculating a bit here → It’s heavily implied that Dazai had some sort of dark past that led him to joining the mafia, since he was already suicidal prior to doing so. This suggests that something affected his life so drastically to the point where he could no longer trust in such things as “righteousness,” because righteousness has wronged him in the past.

First, Yozo expresses his fear of people discovering his true nature under the mask of clownery, which would then lead to them pestering him for further inquiry. However, his real fear is that people would mistake his true nature as another part of his typical clownery.

More so than before, this attitude reminds me more of Dazai in the agency, rather than him in the mafia. Even though Dazai danced around darker topics in his conversations with Oda, he was still able to talk about them without much conflict. However, in the agency, Dazai doesn’t talk much about himself or any of his personal issues at all.

Although this scene has comedic overtones, it’s interesting to see that no one would help Dazai if he was actually dying. Still, it could be argued that the other agency members knew it was just Dazai’s regular antics. (or that Dazai wouldn’t die in the first place).

This scenario repeats itself another time when Dazai gets kidnapped by the mafia, and the other agency members kind of just brush it aside. As much as they may trust Dazai to take care of himself (which I’m sure he can do), it’s worrying that the other members may not be open to Dazai’s possible attempts at reaching out for help, if he were ever to make one.

In LN 4, 55 Minutes, Atsushi addresses this issue by asking Dazai why he wants to kill himself, but the answer is left open-ended, with Atsushi himself not remembering the answer (or if Dazai even did answer). You could interpret Dazai’s change from his time in the PM as an improvement of his mental state — which I have no doubt that has happened — but Dazai needs to face his issues head-on if he truly wanted to reconcile with his past.

“Perhaps someone should persistently tie Dazai up, open the lid over his chest and stuff the head of a vacuum cleaner in. They have to let Dazai, who should be screaming in pain and resisting, settle down. Following which, the difficult things in his heart must all be dragged out under the sun and stepped on mercilessly.“ — LN 2, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

Oda, the man who understood Dazai more than anyone else could at the time, even specifically stated that the pain in Dazai’s heart must be forcefully dragged out, because he knew that this would ultimately be the most beneficial for Dazai’s sanity.

Throughout No Longer Human, Yozo is often misunderstood by others, or other people simply don’t care about him.

When Dazai goes to visit Oda’s grave in Dead Apple, Atsushi finds him and assumes that he’s visiting the grave of someone important to him, as an act of respect or remembrance, something of the sort. However, Dazai makes the automatic assumption that his “clownish words of deceit” (as stated by Yozo) will always be prioritized over the truth, which is why he chooses to brush off his actions as a joke.

Although I made the point earlier that the agency members don’t give Dazai opportunities to open up about himself, Atsushi is notably different, similarly to Oda, because he’s able to take Dazai seriously and persist even through his antics.

Atsushi takes Dazai’s act of visiting a grave seriously, even when Dazai plays it off, because he knows Dazai is a person just like anyone else. This understanding between them leads to Dazai telling Atsushi about Oda, thereby allowing Dazai to divulge a crucial part of his past.

Dazai and Yozo’s Friendships

Similarly to Yozo, Dazai’s attempt at “disentangling” himself from these relationships only serves to wear him out in the end. However, they also slightly differ in a way: Yozo is unable to form any friendships for his whole life, but Dazai had Oda. I would argue that Oda was Dazai’s only friend, mostly because of this quote:

“Odasaku understood him far beyond what Dazai had ever thought. He had already reached close to his heart, the place near the center of his heart. Before this, Dazai had never noticed there was someone who understood him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted to know something from the depths of his heart.” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Oda was special to Dazai because Oda was able to understand him — maybe even more than Dazai could understand himself — which is why Oda is the only person that Dazai asks for advice from.

However, Dazai does the same thing as Yozo when he “plays the clown” as a form of self-protection from such valuable friendships. (which is probably preventing him from becoming closer to the rest of the agency).

“Things that we don’t want to lose will definitely be lost. Now that it has come to this, I have no more feelings anymore. Things worth pursuing will always disappear the moment before you get them. Nothing is worth prolonging a painful life to pursue.” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Interestingly enough, Dazai says this when Ango is revealed to be a spy — before Oda dies. If Dazai was in this state of distress from Ango’s betrayal, you could only imagine how devastating Oda’s death was.

Dazai speaks as if he’s speaking from experience, which suggests that he’s faced a similar loss in the past. Despite this implied experience, he still became friends with Oda (and Ango to an extent), fully knowing that it would only bring him pain in the end. Dazai's statement here acts more as a front that makes him sound cold and detached from the situation, only to hide how he truly feels about losing one of his only friends.

To give some context to this passage, Yozo’s partner, Yoshiko, had been sexually assaulted by a coworker, of which Yozo attributes the cause to her overly trusting nature. Thus, this leads to Yozo’s belief that trustfulness is inherently wrong or creates weakness.

Dazai’s hesitance to form friendships most likely stems from this same inability to trust others like Yozo, but Dazai does trust a few people, namely Chuuya, Oda, and Atsushi.

With Chuuya, there’s a different type of trust between him and Dazai. Their impeccable trust is obviously a key factor in their partnership as SKK, but there’s a certain limit with this trust. They certainly trust each other in battle, but I’d argue that this trust doesn’t extend to their personal business.

As of now, we don’t know a lot about how SKK interacted with each other during their time in the mafia (which could change with the new LN), but I doubt PM Dazai would feel comfortable with confiding in Chuuya with anything because they (kind of) hated each other. The level of trust required for a friendship would involve a mutual understanding between two people, but Chuuya and Dazai haven’t necessarily shown us that they were able to do that.

Dazai essentially broke his trust with Chuuya by leaving the mafia on a whim, but he also intentionally antagonized himself to try to make Chuuya hate him.

This scene also has comedic overtones, but it suggests something a bit sadder about Dazai. There are possibly two motivations as to why Dazai chose to do this: (or a mix of the two)

1. Dazai didn’t want Chuuya to be incriminated as his accomplice when he became an enemy of the mafia.

2. Dazai wanted to push Chuuya away because Oda — Dazai’s most trusted friend — had just died. As a form of self-protection, Dazai broke whatever semblance of friendship he shared with Chuuya in order to prevent the same pain that came with Oda’s death.

It’s also important to consider that trust is a 2-way street; both parties have to have the same level of trust in each other. Just like Yozo, if Dazai is unable to trust anyone, then he may have cut Chuuya off to protect him (since Chuuya may have trusted Dazai more than Dazai was able to reciprocate).

In contrast, Oda and Dazai have a level of unspoken trust that basically motivates Dazai to change his entire life.

“Odasaku’s eyes radiate with conviction. The words are clearly said with some sort of strong basis. Is it past experience? Or perhaps someone’s suggestion? — He is trying to show Dazai the path he once walked. Dazai understands this. Dazai can trust it.“ — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Returning to Yozo’s question — “Is trustfulness a sin?” — Dazai answers it by showing us the strength of trust in this moment. Trust insinuates blind faith in another person, the willingness to believe someone else without logical reasoning, which makes it all the more important when PM Dazai — the genius prodigy who operates on a solely logical basis — is able to trust Oda and change his path in life.

Atsushi is most likely the one that Dazai trusts the most in the agency, due to the aforementioned issues with the other members. However, it seems more like a budding trust that’s growing to become like Oda and Dazai, but it still requires Dazai to take that step forward to further their trust.

Dazai and Yozo’s View of the World

In this scene, Yozo had made a decision for immediate gratification, but that choice caused him insufferable pain afterwards — supporting his belief that the world was a “place of bottomless horror.”

This parallels two of Dazai’s statements: one from Dark Era and one from Dead Apple.

“Please, take me with you. Wake me up from this rotten world of a dream. Come on, come on, come on!” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

(Dazai wasn’t talking about himself here, but the allusion sets up a situation where he can talk about himself indirectly — I talk about it more in my other post here)

We don’t really get a reason for why Dazai is suicidal, but from this we can infer that it’s something more complex than he makes it out to be — something like an issue deeply rooted within the world, with no easy solution.

One could guess that this was the result of an unfortunate decision (like Yozo), or the realization that the world was simply a terrible place (possibly because no one cared for him as a kid and he had Mori as a “parental” figure instead).

Yozo expresses his lack of understanding in the compassion of human nature, but Dazai (as we know) seems to understand other people perfectly, as least enough to manipulate them.

However, this forms somewhat of a paradox: Dazai understands people so well to the point that he can’t understand them.

Dazai understands every flawed aspect of a human being — the tendency to manipulate, lie, kill, etc. — most likely because of his past as a young child. “Human beings never did teach” him the hopeful aspect of human nature — the ability to love and cherish others.

Shibusawa in Dead Apple reflects this mindset, but take note of what Dazai says: “You wouldn’t be saying that if you actually had friends” — clearly a reflection of Dazai’s personal experience, by knowing how important friends are.

Yozo’s deathly fear of society tames itself when he comes to the realization that society is really just made up of a bunch of individuals working for their individual benefit, so he has no reason to fear society as a whole.

I don’t believe Dazai has this same fear of society, but he does reflect this individualistic mindset in the way he acts. Often enough, Dazai doesn’t tell anyone about his plans and would rather manipulate people into following such plans, even when it would be easier to cooperate. He always takes care of conflicts by himself, and by his standard.

Yozo’s fear of society possibly manifested into Dazai’s ostracization from society. More speculation here, but → My guess is that Dazai was alienated not only as a genius isolated for his intelligence, but also for his ability. There seems to be some division between regular society and ability-users’ society, but I can see Dazai being rejected by both because he’s the antithesis to all abilities.

Regular society would either shun him like other users or attempt to exploit him for their personal gain (possibly for his intelligence AND his ability), or ability-users would see him as a threat and/or menace to their safety.

When Yozo considers a double suicide with his partner, he comes to this unsure conclusion of whether or not he actually wants to go through with it.

This reflects what Oda believes about Dazai:

“I thought you and Dazai were very similar, unable to see the value of your life, hoping for death, hence jumping into a world of violence and fighting. But that’s not the case. That guy is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see.“ — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

At the end of the story, Gide and Oda are different from Dazai because they face an inevitable hopelessness. However, Dazai has a small spark of hope to live on that persists beyond the other two.

This is represented in Dazai’s own statement to Oda, when Oda is set on walking to his death: “Go and rely on something, hope for something good to happen next, that something will definitely happen.”

If anything, this sounds more like a plea to himself than to Oda, but it establishes an important point: hope is built upon the assumption that the future will treat your present desires well. Vice versa, hopelessness is built upon the expectation that the future will neglect your present desires.

It’s a bit wordy, so I’ll elaborate on. Right after Dazai says this line, they proceed to talk about their desires → Dazai wants to find a reason to live, so he joined the mafia; Oda wanted to become a novelist, so he didn’t kill anyone.

Now, the difference between hope and hopelessness:

Oda feels hopeless because he expects that his present desire (to become a novelist) won’t be fulfilled in the future. By losing the one qualification that he felt he had to follow (not killing anyone), he no longer believes that he can become a novelist.

Dazai has hope because he assumes that his present desire (to find a reason to live) will be fulfilled in the future. He doesn’t know that for sure, but he persists onwards regardless of having full assurance or not.

Dazai’s hope and trust in Oda brings him to where he is in the present, and takes him one step closer towards discovering his reason to live.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd dazai #dazai analysis #no longer human #bsd oda #surprisingly more oda than i expected #very ramble-y i apologize in advance

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requiem626k · 3 years

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Anime/Game Soundtrack Appreciation (+ little BSD Dead Apple analysis)

Hello everyone! I’m once again back with another music post to make up for my absence, but this time, it’s slightly different.

It’s anime/game soundtrack appreciation time!

We always talk about how good the plot or the characters are, but I find that the beauty of the soundtracks are so little spoken of even though it holds a really great importance for our overall experience in said fictional world.

That’s why I wanted to dedicate this post to my all-time favourite pieces that I encountered in different animes and games.

If you haven’t heard of these animes/games, don’t you worry! There are two types of soundtracks for me: the ones that are beautiful and make sense only with context, and the ones that are mesmerising even without context. I’d like to believe that the ones I chose are all in the second category. Their musical value is just so high for me that I always find myself lost in the music itself instead of thinking of the context of that game or anime; and the fact that they all include classical instruments just reinforces the satisfaction I receive from them as a classical music passionate. My commentaries will have zero relation to their sources and will only be about the music itself (except for the little analysis at the end, which is about our main fandom BSD anyways). I truly hope listening to them will be as enjoyable for you as it is to me.

Let’s go!

🎻 Psycho-Pass - Makishima Shougo

Since the very first time I heard this soundtrack, it’s been nailed in my mind. The mischievous wickedness of that low human voice right in the beginning, the sinister aura of the church organ that starts taking part in the melody after 00.27 (I truly like the church organ touch here, because for some reason, my mind seems to assign very religious vibes to well-built villains such as Fyodor or Makishima that like to play God), the tranquillity of the middle section and the rearrival of the original melody with an even bigger force (01.36).

I’m especially in love with the part starting at 01.56, in the background, you start hearing tick-tocks as if there was a clock, the clock of an about-to-go-off bomb maybe, or a clock that’s merely symbolising the flow of the time- No matter how you interpret it, it keeps you on your toes and stings you with goosebumps.

But what always mainly has me is when the strings start overlapping with the same melody at 02.22. The beautiful build-up until the tension resolves into the last powerful chord… This soundtrack never fails to mesmerise me.

It has a slightly softer version too, which you can find here 👀. Instead of strings, this version concentrates on woodwinds (especially in the overlapping melody section at the end) and French horn, which gives the track a whole different but egally ominous aura, I love it.

🎻 Kuroshitsuji - Si Deus Me Relinquit

This soundtrack’s lyrics are all in Latin, and I honestly adore it. Even though the video already has the lyrics and the translation, I’ll still add it here because it’s just so beautiful to me.

Si deus me relinquit,

Ego deum relinquo.

Solus oppressus nigram clavem habere potest,

Omnias ianuas praecludo

Sic omnias precationes obsigno.

Sed

Qui me defendet?

Ab me terribilissimo ipse.

Translation:

If God has forsaken me,

Then I shall forsake God, too.

Only the oppressed may possess a black key,

I close all doors,

Thus I seal away all prayers.

However,

Who protects me

From myself who is the most terrible?

When the beautifully lonely aura of the beginning is merged with the bittersweetness of what’s said in the lyrics, I always have the desire to smile and tear up at the same time. Imagine the bittersweetness and irony that lies in the action of secluding yourself from everything around you with the thought that “God” has forsaken you, yet still not being able to find any peace because you can’t run away from the most terrible one: yourself. The last three lines hit me so hard when I first read the translation, and the subtle transition into a totally sinister section at 01.34 started making much more sense and sending shivers down my spine. What happens when we truly are alone with the beast that lies within us? More importantly, under what circumstances it reveals itself to us? I wonder.

Anyways, let’s go on with the soundtrack: I love the orchestral middle section. The strings, woodwinds, they all mix so harmoniously and continuously steal the melody from each other. This game goes on until when the soft voice is once again at 04.20. But the part that truly tugs at my heart strings is when the track comes to a soft conclusion at 06.36, and slowly fades away into a big bubble of bittersweetness with the last, very gentle chord, as if it’s tenderly whispering:

“Do not be afraid of what you call the ‘most terrible’. You are not a monster. You are not inhuman. You are merely a hurt soul, that never deserved any of this suffering.”

🎻 Death Note - Low of Solipsism

Ahh, this one is such a classic <3. As a classical music lover, I can’t express enough how much I appreciate the range of instruments used here. The strings, the aggressive woodwinds, the horn, the chorus, everything just blends so beautifully to create such a dark masterpiece. As the first two ones, this one has an unhealthily religious side too, let’s look at the lyrics (sinisterly used Latin strikes once again!) :

Kira, Deus vici canti.

Translation:

Kira, our God will win.

I probably have to talk about the anime to be able to explain what this means (even though I’m sure many of you know this already haha.) So, this anime talks about a young adult who, one day, finds a Death Note and decides to ‘punish’ all the criminals by writing down their names and killing them through it. And he calls himself “Kira, the God of the New World”. The movement that he started finds its voice all around the world, yet of course there’s an extremely intelligent detective who’s trying to find his identity etc., the rest is not too important now.

This soundtrack sweeps me off my feet every. single. time. Like oh my God. Can you look at how beautifully the introduction is written? The ongoing rhythm in the strings’ section keeps me on my toes, and oh the very beautiful entrance of the woodwinds- I could honestly mistake it for a classical piece, I’m not even kidding.

After that, I want to talk about 00.36 where the chorus comes in with “Kira”, if you listen carefully, you’ll hear in the background a French horn (I think, I hope I’m not mistaken) which plays a very halting, even off-putting rhythm, “syncopation” as we call it in music theory, and the impact it does on that section is just mind-blowing to me. I find myself vibing with the French horn and going along with its limping rhythm every time I listen to this and I sway in euphoria, it’s just so intriguing and appealing to me for some reason.

Then things get silent and you hear the church bell (01.32), then something like a prayer out of a religious mass, and my favourite part: the sharp, tense dissonance that starts at 01.50. I always hold my breath and get on the verge of losing my mind while waiting for that tense chord to resolve into 01.56, it’s just- it’s just so perfectly written, I feel the anxiety it gives off in every single fibre of my being and I honestly don’t know what to say further about this masterpiece, every word falls short.

Looking at the first three faves of mine, I’m noticing a pattern of sinisterly religious tracks😶 When this is combined with the literal meaning of my full name (Requiem: Religious Mass for the Dead), it’s just so funny to me because I’m not a spiritual person at all haha. Anyways, enough of that personal talk.

🎻 Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice - A Cornered Heart

Oh my God I love this game so much.

I’m in a very emotional state at the moment so I’m so sorry if the commentary of this piece feels more subjective than the others, but- it’s been at least two years since I last listened to AA’s sountracks and I cried for a few minutes straight when I listened to this just now. I needed 15 minutes to calm my emotion center down, and another 30 to get out of the memory lane and stop wandering among the other tracks of the game, oh my God.

I won’t be rambling about it or this post will become a long novel, but honestly, Ace Attorney is the love of my life. One of the two things that made me totally fall in love with this franchise is its beautiful soundtracks. It has many, many games and not even one of them disappoints in terms of musical quality, I’ve never seen such a constant quality in another franchise, if I’m being frank. And the 6th game… kills it. In a totally good way. There are just so, so many tracks that I want to put from this franchise but I won’t overwhelm this post with those haha. I doubt it but if you’re interested, you can come into my ask box and I can make a separate post for you including only-AA tracks.

Most of AA’s soundtracks are objectively so beautiful yet hit so different in a subjective way after hearing them in context, yet this one… it’s a real masterpiece. It’s one of the peak points in all AA’s OST history. I don’t know what they did to be able to put such refined but heavy emotions in this short track, yet they did and they did it very beautifully.

Even from the very beginning, that low piano A that strongly comes several times tugs at my heartstrings every time. The little piano theme in the background that comes at 00.23 and 00.28 always makes my heart melt. The build-up that starts at 00.43 and resolves into the literally most bittersweet conclusion at 00.48 (in more technical terms, the classic but powerful “dominant-submediant (the one that usually has the listener so soft is this 6th degree)-subdominant-dominant-tonic” progression) makes me sob. Not figuratively, I literally started uncontrollably sobbing at that part just now. I can honestly envision this playing behind a very painful and bittersweet scene in BSD. Instant goosebumps, I can’t anymore.

Just listen to it. I have no other words to hopelessly mutter in attempt to explain how bittersweet this track is making me feel.

🎻 Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple - Dead Apple (or as I like calling it… Fyodor’s theme🤭)

Of course, it wouldn’t be a complete post without including anything from our beloved BSD!

I’m truly in love with this track, it’s been my favourite since the day I watched Dead Apple. I adore how it manages to blend classical music with modern, using strings/piano and electro guitars at the same time and making it sound so majestic and grandiose, and I won’t even mention how good the actual melody is.

It starts off with such a lonely and bittersweet aura with only the strings and piano. Then oh! It picks up pace at 01.12, it’s literally the musical reflection of the emoji “👀” as it increases the curiosity levels of the listener with its quick, steady rhythms. I especially adore the first note we hear from the electro guitar at 01.32, it foreshadows many things about the climax of the piece.

The heartbeat motif that starts at 01.48 always has me so good. It constantly keeps me on my toes and I love it.

At 02.24, the electro guitar has the spotlight, it’s almost like a transition happened. Each of the three parts are still there, classical (strings & piano) and modern (electro guitar), yet it feels like they’re constantly fighting for dominance, just like how the Dead Apple trio did. Strings would symbolise Fyodor, the piano Dazai and electro guitar Shibusawa, in my opinion. I assigned the modernity to Shibusawa because he is a relatively modern author, who passed away only 34 years ago. Harukawa-sensei even visited his wife to receive her approval about Shibusawa’s design.

Parting from this theory, let’s see: Starting from 02.24, the electro guitar talks, it’s Shibusawa who’s bringing them all together around the table and talking about his ‘boredom’. Then, the piano comes in, the guitar is silent for a bit, and when the violin starts with the melody the piano goes silent, it’s a constant fight between them that creates a beautiful build-up until the striking climax at 03.19. That’s the moment where Fyodor and Shibusawa have their talk and Dazai’s lying heavily wounded on the ground.

Now, which of the three instruments is absent during the climax? Exactly. The piano. The guitar and the violin are having a talk, yet the piano comes in much later, at 03.35, as an echo, then fades away once again.

Until the end, the wonderful power dance of these instruments go on, and the strong ending gives me goosebumps every time.

This came out much longer than I had expected and planned… I always get so carried out and type so much when it comes to these things haha. Nonetheless, I sincerely hope you enjoyed my selection and analysis!

Please don’t hesitate to do any type of additional commentary or to add your favourite soundtracks from any anime/game/series/franchise. <3

Tagging the usual music posts people: @pompompurin1028 @jadegreenimmortality @alittlesimp @bsdparadise @greenshirtimagines @rouge476

#req’s classical music brainrot #req’s music brainrot #anime soundtrack #bsd analysis #music analysis #i’m so sorry for the literally lamest synopsis of Death Note #death note #psycho-pass #bungou stray dogs #ace attorney #kuroshitsuji

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tender-rosiey · 3 years

Note

Hey!! Congratulations on 200! You deserve it so much, you’ve been my comfort blog for such a long time!! Anyways, “Wanna dance” would be adorable with Chuuya! Thank you so much ily 💕

“Wanna dance?”

❥— Chuuya Nakahara (BSD)

❥— From the 200+ event prompt list

ᴀ/ɴ: thank you so much luv! I am honored that you find comfort in my blog and I hope you enjoy this as well 💕 also lym 🙈💘

Sweet bubbly laughter filling the room and a clinging sound of your favorite beverage with your lover. A celebration for the success of a mission you two have been at for hours now.

As he looks at you with adoration swimming in his eyes, even covered in dirt and dust you were the most gorgeous woman he had laid his eyes on.

A soft smile resting on his face as he looked at you smiling and talking. Even the most vulgar words sounded like a beautiful melody from you, one he could listen to all day and still crave for more.

Chuuya was a man who craved for your love without limits. And a man who was determined about showing you how much he loves you in every way possible.

Noticing how he was spacing out and being silent you called out for him. “Chuu?” He loved how his name rolled off your lips. He adores hearing you call to him.

��Yes, angel?” He always believed and still believes that this nickname was perfect for you. Always with a kind heart and soul one that draws him to you. Even while tainted with the red of the others you were an angel in his eyes that glowed pure white.

He took notice of the music box lying behind you on the same table that has the picture of your wedding on it.

You looked like a true goddess in that photo and that was a moment he never imagined he would experience, but you made it happen and if it wasn’t one of the best memories he experienced that would be carved into his memories in a beautiful style.

He stood up and headed towards it. A soft tune of slow music played as he was done preparing.

He walked towards you and bowed with his hand out waiting for yours. “Wanna dance, my love?”

It came out as a soft whisper matching the tenderness he held your hand with. A smile making its way to your lips and you nodded while he pulled you close to him.

“Follow my steps, angel.” And so you did. Moving with rhythm and in sync, he connected your foreheads locking eyes with you with his eyes shinning a beautiful glow.

A perfect moment with the perfect couple. Both of you melting in the arms of the other, being at your most vulnerable state with no boundaries. You were prisoners in the enormous jail of love and neither you nor your lover wished to leave it.

Even closer than those who shared a red string of fate that ties soulmates together. Even the words ‘I love you’ could never describe how much you feel for each other. Not a single word can describe this.

Infatuation? Adoration? Adulation? What was it? You couldn’t place your hands on it but you didn’t care as long as you could feel it deep in your heart. He didn’t care as long as you stay in his arms.

No words shared but still both of you understanding each other as clear as day. Just the gentle and loving action of being in each other’s embrace was enough to convey what your heart desires and wanted to show.

He placed a soft lingering kiss to your forehead and you nuzzled into his chest.

A beautiful amorous scene and feeling. He felt his heart bursting at the sight of you. He felt it aching at the smile you gave him as the words you both see as not enough came out of your lips despite that.

“I love you.”

And you know he did too and even more.

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

How about Sebastian and Undertaker with suicidal s/o (someone like Dazai from bsd), but the thing is they can't die. Bonus if Sebastian or undertaker doesn't know that s/o is, like immortal.

A bit of a sensitive topic, but as long as it’s not something too extreme.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, suicidal thoughts, suicidal behavior

Suicidal s/o who can’t die

Sebastian Michaelis

🐈‍⬛He’s very good at reading emotions so he noticed from the very beginning that there’s something wrong with his darling. They always seemed so...sad even though they tried to hide it with a happy mask. They were good at fooling everyone with this, except him.

🐈‍⬛At first he didn’t confront them about this and tried to ask in more subtle ways if everything was right, hoping that they would tell him what exactly was wrong, but they always assured him that everything was alright with them and he immediately knew that it was a lie.

🐈‍⬛At one point he decided to talk with you about this and visited your house, knocking on your door and waiting. But you never opened the door what made Sebastian uneasy. He knew your schedule very well and knew that you always were at home at this time. That’s when the smell of blood hit him. Your blood! He immediately broke down the door and stormed towards the bathroom where the smell came from.

🐈‍⬛If he would have had a heart then it would have stopped at the sight right in front of him. You were laying in the bathtub, your body and clothes getting soaked in your own blood which was gushing nonstop out of the deep cuts on your wrists and arms. Sebastian could sense that your heart had stopped beating from where he stood and in that moment he experienced an explosion of feelings. Anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment. He was ready to rip anyone who made you do this to shreds, but suddenly he heard your heartbeat again and saw something amazing. The cuts on your arms started to heal on their own.

🐈‍⬛Sebastian immediately hurried up to you and the look you gave him as soon as you opened your eyes was enough to break his nonexisting heart. You started to burst out in tears then and there and Sebastian was quick to comfort you, feeling overjoyed that you were still with him. And now he understood everything.

🐈‍⬛The fact that you want to die, but can’t tortures you and Sebastian suffers because you do. He was never unhappy with his life so he can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you. The fact that you’re immortal tells him that you can’t be human, at least not to 100%. But he can worry about that later. His top priority now is to make sure that he can help you as good as he can. He most likely kidnapped you after he witnessed this to make sure that you won’t try this again even though he knows you can’t die. But just the mere thought of you trying this again makes his chest clench painfully and he knows that trying to die again just to wake up moments laters isn’t very good for your mental health.

🐈‍⬛You can tell him everything what makes you sad or upset and he’ll get rid of it quickly. Sebastian is really careful with you now, scared that he might trigger you trying this again and only treats you with pure love. He makes sure to not let you alone anymore, wanting to show you that you aren’t alone even though you might think you are. He will find a way to help you with your depression, after all he is one hell of a butler.

Undertaker

⚰️Just like Sebastian, Undertaker is good at reading emotions and he as well noticed this depressed aura that was always surrounding his darling and the way they always seemed to force a smile on their face when they were under people.

⚰️Undertaker didn’t confront the s/o about this immediately, but from time to time he would ask you slyly some questions that might involve this topic and even though you laughed and told him that everything was alright he didn’t miss the way you tensed shortly up, telling him that something was wrong.

⚰️He’s the type of Yandere who often follows his darling around and one day he witnessed your secret. It had been pretty late at night and you had wandered off in a small alley and he followed you there secretly, wanting to make sure that you wouldn’t run into any bad people in there. But when you started climbing up a building he started to feel confused and worried. Why would you do that?

⚰️He understood only after you had just stared down at the ground before letting yourself fall. Undertaker was kind of frozen in shock, feeling like everything was moving in slow motion when in reality the whole event only lasted for less then 10 seconds. When he heard the sound of you hitting the ground he snapped out of it and instantly hurried up to you, but there was nothing he could do anymore. He couldn’t remember to have ever seen something more terrible than your mangled body and empty eyes staring at the sky. Just like Sebastian his first thought was to kill everyone who had made you suffer. That was until your bones suddenly started shifting themselves back into place.

⚰️As soon as you opened your eyes and saw him you immediately sank your head down, too ashamed that he had just witnessed all of this. But Undertaker was still able to notice the silent tears that started to escape your eyes and the first thing he could think of at that moment was to embrace you tightly in his arms.

⚰️He has some experience with this, having collected in the past souls who had killed themselves, but the fact that you’re immortal is new to him, telling him that you can’t be a full human. Just like Sebastian he’ll kidnap you after this incident, too scared to leave you on your own. He can’t stand the thought of you trying something like this ever again, knowing full well that this will only let you sink deeper into the black hole you’re in.

⚰️Undertaker will do anything that’s necessary to help you out of your misery. He won’t let you suffer alone like this. No chance that he’ll let you out of his sight again after this, not wanting to risk the chance of you trying this again. He’ll treat you like a fragile doll and will help you with really everything you do.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere sebastian #yandere sebastian michaelis #yandere undertaker #serious tw

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Text

So I only have 2 more requests until I close the prompt list quiz, so don’t forget to vote (view my pinned post for the poll)!

But in the mean time, take this small BSD drabble as thanks. I’ve been debating about rewatching it, and I’ve been going through withdrawals of my fav characters 😩 so enjoy this Dazai one shot♥️

Sometimes, you forget how menacing Dazai can be.

The way that his eyes can just bore deep into your soul with ease was terrifying. It was like he’s able to know every little thing about you, that there was no hiding anything from him. For someone who’s eyes can be so gentle, so inviting, turn chilling was very unnerving-

“Give it up, (Y/N). You know you won’t beat me, and you’re only hurting yourself in trying to prove so.”, it seemed like his stare just bore deeper into you, causing your heart to beat even faster. He flashed a tender smile, but you knew it hid malice behind it, “If you give up now, maybe I won’t be punish you too harsh-"

“Never!”, you held strong, you refused to let him best you again. Dazai can just be so damn cocky, always confident that he’ll always have the upper hand in any situation. It gets underneath your skin so bad, and if this was the only way that you can finally beat him in something that so be it. You will not lose to him, not again!

“Hm. Suit yourself. I can do this all day darling, how long can you last? Doesn’t seem like you have much left.”, and you hated that he was right. You feel your will slipping away bit by bit, your body begging you to just stop this and surrender, but you blocked those thoughts out. But no matter how much you tried to hang in, you were starting to give out, and Dazai could tell.

He smirked, leaned in to where your noses were grazing one another’s. He spoke in a serious tone, “Just give in (Y/N), you know you want to”, then he went in for the finishing move. He put his bandaged hand softly on your cheek, you unintentionally leaning into it like you had done so many times. You would curse yourself later for showing weakness, but in the moment you could care less.

You could feel your eye twitching, no you had to hang on, just a little bit longer!-

You blinked.

“I win!”

“DAMN IT! Dazai you cheated!”

He leaned back, laughing lightheartedly. “I did no such thing. It’s not my fault you’re a glutton for punishment.”

“No, you cheated! You’re not suppose to touch the other person, that’s the rules!”

“But yet you didn’t mind it. Actually, if I remember correctly, you even welcomed it. Oh, the little things you do that can make a man swoon! Oh (Y/N), you’re going to be the death of me! Not that I mind~”

You were embarrassed and scorned. Whatever, you’ll know better next time, because next time you will win!

“But enough distracting. I believe that someone has a punishment they have to face. One that I’m looking forward too particularly...”

Oh no.

“Wait Dazai! Give me another round, best two out of three?!”

“Nooope. And no takebacks either. Now, let’s get started!”

...

You hated this.

Okay you were exaggerating, it wasn’t that bad actually, but very embarrassing. You picked at your bunny ears, trying to find something to distract your nerves from. You knew that Dazai lived to fluster you at any given moment, but at least you were in the comfort of your own home and not at the office.

But still, the fact that your own boyfriend wanted you to be his personal bunny servant, was embarrassing in itself. One day you’ll beat him in some challenge, or maybe you’ll be smart enough to stop challenging him one day. Whichever came first.

He only had you doing basic things: getting him drinks, fluffing his pillows, getting the remote that was less than 2 inches from him. Just stuff to drive you crazy and rub in the fact that you got bested. Again.

“(Y/N)? Come here for a sec.”

You started to step towards him, when he suddenly called out again.

“You’re a bunny, so I would rather prefer if you hop instead. It makes sense right? Come on, little bunny, do your hop!~”

Oh, Dazai might get his wish in dying by your hands, because you were ready to strangle him. But, you swallowed whatever remaining pride you had left, and did the tiniest hops known to man his way. Oh, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at this point!

He ate it up too, locking his eyes on your form, smirk all too satisfying. Luckily, you didn’t have to hop anymore. Unfortunately, it was because he grabbed you up so fast and held you still in his lap.

Curse this man for always finding a way to make you nervous!

He didn’t give you time to be lost in your head, as he softly rubbed your cheek in small circles. He loved having you this way, always wanting to admire you at any chance he could, and this was one of the perfect ways to do so. “Why do you do this to me? Make me feel this way?”

You also loved having Dazai like this because of how open he becomes. Seeing how he shields his true emotions from everyone on a daily basis to seeing him let down his guard to you and just you, was an amazing feeling. It was a special feeling, because not many people could and will never experience it, but you were fortunate enough to be one of those who could.

“I should be asking you that. But it’s good that we’re on the same page, because I really do love you, Osamu. No matter how much you drive me crazy or put your walls up, I won’t be going anywhere no time soon.”

He faintly chuckled and just continued to cherish you. He moved to kiss you, gently molding his lips against yours. After a couple more kisses, he leaned his forehead against yours, feeling at peace for once.

When Dazai was with you, he didn’t have to worry about anything. No Port Mafia, no cases, no horrible memories from his past, nothing. You took his mind off of that, and became the only thing that mattered in the moment. You started out as a needed distraction, but then evolved into something much more. You became his missing piece, with him being so lost and not having a purpose for life, you helped him find one.

You gave him a reason to look forward to waking up everyday, being his one purpose to open his eyes every morning and to not stray from this new path that he’s on. He has his moments where he falters, but you’ve always been patient with him, never leaving even after he’s tried to push you away. You were one stubborn person, but it was worth the troubles that came with it.

“I love you more than you can imagine, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever realize. More than what simple words can be put into. You’re everything to me.”

He’s found one good thing in this world, and he doesn’t plan on losing it. Not now, and not ever.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bsd drabble #bsd dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bsd dazai drabble #dazai x reader #dazai drabble #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #oneshot #bsd oneshot #dazai oneshot #bsd dazai oneshot

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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

Text

BSD x university au hc’s | pt. 1

hi i am an absolute slut for university au’s in case you couldn’t tell so i just had to write some for my first BSD post. also this is going to be slightly ooc because i am a crackhead

check out pt. 2 here

***********************************************

Atsushi Nakajima:

he’s definitely the kind of guy who still had no idea what he’d take up in university even after he was accepted

either wants to not major in anything at all or just major in everything because he’s also scared that he’ll eventually not like what he’s majoring in

so for his first two years you’d probably find him jumping around different classes

also he still calls the professors ‘teacher ____’ like a high school student and everyone laughs but thinks its cute

eventually, because of his *cough cough* traumatic childhood he decided he wanted to help children by becoming a guidance counselor

he ends up taking Child Psychology and bOY does he love it so much

well he actually just loves all of his classes because Learning is Fun

although because of his *cough cough* traumatic childhood he’s the one in class that people are all like 👀👀

atsushi: *talking about children’s responses to fear and emotional abuse by talking about his own emotional abuse*

the professor, under their breath: wait, do you need help??

i can definitely see atsushi as a Roommate of the Year kind of guy. he’s just so polite and tidy with his room. also he’d definitely be the type to take care of plants inside the dorm room and put them on the windowsill

in terms of extracurricular activities, he’s definitely a sporty type of person so i can see him joining a varsity (something like Frisbee because he likes things that go whoooosh) but he’d probably join a student org that does stuff like community outreach

because of all this, he is a Very Busy Boy but his friends do manage to drag him out to parties once in a while

although atsushi would probably sit in a corner and drink only one beer for the entire night

he’s notorious for helping drunk people though. most of the time he’ll be putting blankets on people and making them drink water

if he knew how to drive he’d definitely be the designated driver

Akiko Yosano:

omg i’m so excited for this i love yosano so much

she’s the friend who’s just effortlessly awesome all around and a fricking MED STUDENT to top it all off

she gets a bit too excited when it’s dissection time but it’s alright she has good intentions

probably the only one in your class who doesn’t go and throw up whenever a cadaver is being used (actually do they still use cadavers i have absolutely no idea)

she also interns at the local hospital as part of her degree program but OMG yosano will not stop telling disgusting stories about the patients she’s had

everyone: *eating lunch peacefully in the dining hall*

yosano: so i pulled a guy’s toe out of a meat grinder this morning

everyone: sHUT UP

for some reason she still has a social life despite being a med student and it’s one of the mysteries of life i guess

yosano LOVES going out clubbing on friday nights. if you have the fortune of being her roommate, be prepared for make-overs and being dragged with her out to the city

she’s such a social butterfly like at every bar you go to, the bartender knows her name and her regular order. she’d probably end the night befriending a couple more people

also she’s amazing at karaoke i kid you not

as for extracurricular life, i don’t think yosano’s the type to join an org that’s related to her major cause like ‘what’s the point?’

instead, she’d probably go wherever her friends are because to her, she’ll enjoy any activity as long as she’s with people she loves

but when it comes to her own interests, i can definitely see yosano as someone who loves the outdoors, especially hiking after having to be cooped up inside clinics

it just makes her love and appreciate the value of life more

Kunikida Doppo:

ok, i KNOW he was a math teacher before he joined the ADA bUT i can’t help but think of him as a political science major ??

i can definitely imagine kunikida as someone who’d want to become a lawyer someday and would take political science as a pre-law

he does like the idea of following in the footsteps of great men but omg kunikida would absolutely hate the exclusivity of white, male political theorists

he is such a good student except for when his professor has some sketchy values then kunikida will !! fight him !! every !! chance !! he gets !!

raises his hand constantly to contradict his professor if they even tRY to defend thomas hobbes and authoritarianism

but other than that he’s probably the most diligent student out there. kunikida genuinely enjoys doing the readings for class and writing essays

also has such a balanced schedule that he can make time for anything and everything

except for when his friends dazai drag him out to parties and get a social life

despite how rigid he is, kunikida has absolutely no problem helping out others with learning. he often holds study sessions in his dorm room or in the library before exams

he also likes to volunteer in tutorial centers because he’s just like that

OH OH some of his ‘students’ suggested that he make crash-course type videos for political science and it took some convincing but eventually kunikida decided to go for it

he’s not the most tech savvy or photogenic person so it took some time for him to get used to things but after seeing all the comments from people who benefited from it, he decided to continue with his crash course videos

whether or not he’s the best or worst roommate is completely up to you. if you like someone who’ll basically micromanage your life from your daily schedule to your study habits, you’ll absolutely love him

he doesn’t like to go out for parties that much but he will if his friends convince him enough (kunikida’s an utter lightweight when it comes to drinking though)

Osamu Dazai:

i genuinely have a hard time thinking about what this guy’s major would be and tbh even his friends have been wondering what dazai’s major was for TWO YEARS

that’s because he keeps taking the most random ass classes like Basic Pottery or Intro to Molecular Biology in the same semester

idk how he even plans to graduate at this point

although to be honest, i can definitely see him as a philosophy major despite the fact that i LOATHE every male classmate i’ve had who’s a philosophy major (idk they’re always so condescending)

i feel like dazai’s just taking that because it’s somewhat challenging for him but to him, university life is just more of crazy experiences rather than learning

and oh my god has he gotten up to the weirdest shit

the number of times he had to climb gates or sleep on benches at three a.m. is too many to count

dazai also loves volunteering for random things like people’s thesis projects (once, he offered to be a snake venom tester to a bio student and they told him that was illegal) or even being the school’s mascot in games

also he and kunikida probably met each other in freshman year at an intro to philosophy class and oh my god did dazai get on his nerves

what’s worse was that they had to work on a group project together and dazai was MIA most of the time and it drove kunikida crazy

that is until dazai showed up last minute to pull an all-nighter with him for their paper and kunikida just couldn’t help but be impressed by dazai’s ~~intellect~~

they don’t exactly get along but they do have some mutual respect for each other enough to work on projects well

omg if dazai ends up being your roommate I WISH YOU LUCK

the first time you walked into your room dazai was microwaving a metal bowl and you had to run to stop it in time

also he has a tendency to wear his headphones and sing his favorite double suicide song out loud

kunikida please come pick him up

Edogawa Ranpo:

i love this one man so much i swear to god

ranpo is definitely the kind of person who just didn’t like school so when college applications came around he was just like ‘why bother though ???’

his friends did convince him by saying that he wouldn’t have to do subjects he wouldn’t like and just focus on his major (this is a lie btw)

is it a surprise that ranpo would choose forensic science ?? NO

he thinks its cool that he can learn about something he’s already super good at and it just gets him really pumped up to show off how good he is

LOVES getting praised by his classmates and professors

ranpo probably thinks lectures are boring as hell so sometimes he just,,, doesn’t,,, come,,, to class

if attendance IS required you can bet he’s bringing snacks and game consoles with him and sitting WAAAAY in the back of the room

Mukbang at a Lecture Hall with Edogawa Ranpo

his classmates think its cute that he puts on glasses before doing exams or answering his prof’s questions as a way to hype himself up

everyone calls him ‘The Greatest Detective’ and ranpo LOVES IT

despite that, he’s not too overly social he just likes being with his close group of friends UwU

he’s also someone you can drag around to places like the fair or an aquarium, but he’s not into clubbing or drinking for that matter

he DOES enjoy seeing his friends get drunk and mess with them though

ranpo isn’t into joining student organizations BUT he gets scouted a lot by detective agencies and he likes interning for them

i’m saying detective agencies because police are gross

ranpo did end up joining a baking club with the assumption that he would just be EATING the cake and not BAKING the cake

yeah he was just there for less than half a semester

***********************************************

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #akiko yosano #kunikida doppo #osamu dazai #edogawa ranpo #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd writing #bungou stray dogs writing #bsd university au #bungou stray dogs university au #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd scenarios #bungou stray dogs scenarios

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along-came-atsushi · 4 years

Note

It's a strange question, but… Do you think Dazai had ever sex with someone ? He's someone who's don't like being in an vulnerable position and intimity seems inconfortable for him so… SORRY for my english, it's not my first language !

That’s a valid question and tbh I already thought about that myself. And your English is quite good, I understand you. It’s not my first language either, so ;)

That really depends on how you interpret Dazai, and as always people have different opinions. Therefore different people will also tell you different things.

We must also keep in mind that BSD is not a romance story. So things like who has sexual experiences and who doesn’t, who has a romantic partner/love interest and who doesn’t, isn’t important to the story and its characters, and therefore not mentioned.

I hope you don’t mind that my answer ended up to be longer than I first imagined. But I tend to look at things more closely than to give a simple “yes/no, because I think...”

~ ~ ~

You can take Dazai’s flirtations at face value and believe his acting. It then really seems that he’s the number 1 womanizer.

Chuuya also confirms that Dazai has broken many women’s hearts. But we don’t know how far those interactions went. We don’t know if he only flirted with them, if he had a romantic date with them, or if those were one-night stands.

Maybe it’s being left ambiguous on purpose for our own interpretation. Maybe it’s going to be revealed in another novel.

However, Dazai is mostly seen flirting with women to:

a) gather information (e.g.: when he put the transmitter in Higuchi’s jacket to spy on her, because he already assumed that she was with the PM. Another example is Sasaki, the girlfriend of the Azure King. But more on that later.)

b) get something he wants

(e.g.: when he flirted with the nurse who took away his phone, so he used flattery to change her mind and get his phone back from her. Another example is the waitress he tries to distract, so he doesn’t have to pay his tabs. But she isn’t taking any of his shit and he knows it XD)

c) simply for fun (or out of boredom). He asks random women to commit suicide with him or to kill him, even though he exactly knows they won’t do it (the waitress is an example for this again).

The anime either left it out or censored it, but the first light novel has some sexual/erotic hints regarding Kunikida. We definitely know that Kunikida finds Sasaki sexual attractive, and he has been asked before if he had a date (explicit in the sense of a one-night stand).

Which then leads to the scene where it looks like Dazai invited Sasaki over to have a one-night stand with her. At least that’s exactly what Kunikida is thinking, because that’s just how he interprets Dazai:

“Thank you so much, Mr. Dazai. You... you were very...kind to me last night...”

Miss Sasaki flushes bashfully for some reason.

“What’s wrong, Kunikida? You’ve got a really weird look on your face.”

“Dazai... don’t you think that’s taking things a little too fast?”

“I... I was the one who asked him to let me stay over. I basically forced him.”

Later on Dazai confirms that he slept in a different room and that he didn’t touch her.

If Dazai truly is the number 1 womanizer he’s always playing (or people think him to be), then that would’ve been his chance. And there is no reason for Asagiri to censor it in any way, if he already made sexual/erotic hints before.

It’s implied that Dazai already suspected Sasaki when he and Kunikida first met her. Just like in the case with Higuchi, Dazai playing a dumb womanizer who’s just flirting with women is his way of gathering information. So, he plays the womanizer and flirts with Sasaki to eventually get something out of her. The problem is that Sasaki is an excellent manipulator and actress herself, and she’s using Dazai and Kunikida for her own plans, too. Therefore Dazai can’t confirm his theory as quickly as he can with Higuchi.

There’s also this reaction from Dazai, which I think is really interesting:

“[...] You know there’s nothing going on between Miss Sasaki and me, right? [...] I slept in another room. I haven’t laid a finger on her. C’mon, do you really think I’d try to seduce a woman who was almost killed earlier that day? I’ve got a little more sense than that. [...]”

Doesn’t sound like a heartless and selfish womanizer to me.

It leads to the question that if Dazai had sex it’s when and with whom?

As stated above, he was already flirtatious during his PM time. Unfortunately Chuuya had been the witness of many of these, feeling sorry for all the women Dazai left heartbroken.

Given the fact that Dazai apparently only has contact with Chuuya during missions and not in private, it’s a high possibility that all these interactions Chuuya knows about was Dazai flirting with women for ulterior motives (gathering information etc.) and that he just interprets them the same way Kunikida does.

Since Dazai’s mindset during his PM time was more depressed and dark, I doubt that he honestly was in the mood for sexual encounters. It’s also nowhere stated in the Dark Era novel that he had an encounter anywhere like this before. It isn’t even mentioned that he once flirted with someone out of personal interests. And since he sees Ango and Odasaku as his friends, those two would’ve been the ones to know about.

All in all I interpret Dazai as someone who’s acting most of the time, playing someone who he truly is not and hiding what he truly feels. And that includes his flirts with women. It’s easier for him, if everyone around him just assumes he’s shallow and selfish, when he in reality longs for something honest and is even afraid of getting hurt in the end.

[Dazai saying A and then doing B deserves it’s own meta, but that would be too much, and my answer already has gotten way too long.]

As soon as he gets from the women he flirts with what he actually wants (be it his phone or information) he dumps them. He doesn’t need to place himself in an intimate position with them, because he’s just that good with manipulation, which includes flirting. I also think having Dazai really have sex with any of them takes away his genius, because then it seems that he HAS to do A in order to get B. In other words: He HAS to use his body, his mind and words alone aren’t enough. But that’s just my opinion.

Therefore I believe that Dazai actually didn’t have a sexual encounter before, not even for gathering information. He knows how to act like a smooth womanizer and he knows how to win over a woman’s heart:

“And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she’s fallen on hard times.”

I’m sure he whispered some erotic things in the nurse’s ear, maybe purposely leaving her with an outlook for something more. But that’s all just make believe and pretend. Ultimately, it doesn’t tell if he has actual sexual experiences or not. He’s just playing along.

#osamu dazai bsd #chuuya nakahara bsd #doppo kunikida bsd #Osamu Dazai #Chuuya Nakahara #Doppo Kunikida #Bungou Stray Dogs #BSD #Q&A #finally someone is asking the real questions #is dazai a virgin or is he not let's discuss! XD #me looking at all the women who got dumped by dazai:#you've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth womanizer #me interrogating dazai:#tell me who fucked you?! WHO WAS IT?! >:|#if not you're forced to watch that horrible abby TLOU2 sex scene over and over again #my opinions #my headcanons

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ethereal-blossom · 3 years

Note

Once in a red moon

ahh, the title probably sounds better than the actual concept xd

the main idea is a scenario for some of the bsd characters for when their s/o is experiencing heavy cramps in the middle of the night.

also, fun fact: this idea was actually created when this happened to me, so i’ll think about this concept every time my uterus tries to kill itself. it’s mostly a comfort scenario which i hope to write someday. i still want to share something tho, so this is how i imagine some of the characters to react:

dazai - very calm, talking you through it while finding solutions to ease the pain. i can’t imagine dazai with no knowledge about periods, so i think he isn’t too worried. he would mostly stay calm for your own comfort and do what he can to help you.

chuuya - protective/concerned, determined to ease the pain. this man cares a lot about his loved ones and that’s why he doesn’t like to see his significant other in pain at all. he’s whipped for them.

atsushi - concerned and also determined to ease the pain, soft boy. he’s not oblivious towards periods, but i don’t think he has much experience. so, he will want to ease the pain, because he would take over that pain if it meant that you didn’t have to carry it. he’s also such a soft and caring person, so that part of him would definitely come out.

akutagawa - looks cool from the outside but hates to see you in pain, becomes softer and more caring. akutagawa is sometimes hard to think for and it’s been a while since i analyzed his personality, but he would try not to make you worried just like dazai. still, he cares about his loved ones and his significant other with period cramps would definitely bring out a more caring side in him.

yosano - soft girl, knows exactly what to do, also a cute tease. i mean, she’s a doctor and a woman; she knows what she’s doing. i think she also would be very soft to make you feel better while showing this teasing side. idk man i think my cherry made me fall in love with her.

#ask game

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joeys-piano · 3 years

Text

Top 5 Fics of 2020

As 2020 closes and as I’m looking back on what I’ve done this year, there were five stories that stood out to me because of how I felt, what I’ve experienced, and because of what came over me as I was working on the pieces. I picked stories that many of you enjoyed, stories that I think you could discover, and stories that challenge you to think a little differently on what you already know. I felt that was a good balance for what I had in store~

Savor The Moment | 12.4k | Teen

I can say without a doubt that is the best fanfic I’ve written this year: not only is it the longest by far, not only did I draft and revise and edit and rewrite this behemoth during the entire month of August and pretty much babied this thing into the first week of my Fall Semester, not only was I focusing and fleshing out the relationships one of my favorite BSD characters, but I remember how much I struggled with this work and how much I grew after finishing it. If y’all have to know one thing about me, it’s that dialogue and writing children characters are very difficult for me. So to tackle a project that encompasses both and much more -- that’s terrific!

I love how I wrote for Oda in this and how I explored his relationship with the children, with the curry shop owner, and with Dazai. I love how I approached his backstory and bled in some of the elements I enjoyed from the Dark Era light novel into this work. I love the atmosphere, the vibes, the metaphors and all the food descriptions -- there are gorgeous quotes throughout the work and to this day, I still can’t believe that they all came from my head. This was such a good story for me: both in that it helped me grow as a writer and challenged me in my weaker areas and that it was fun to try something new and to expand on the little details I adored from the source material.

If there’s any work of mine that I think best summarizes who I am as a writer, it would have to be this one.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings & Funerals | 5.7k | Teen

There was a time in my life when angst was my bread and butter. However, as I grew older and more cynical towards life in general, I saw myself leaning towards softer and happier ideas. Mostly because they were an escape and a distraction from what was happening to me at the time, and partially because angst isn’t all that great for my heart. But during the beginning of November, something possessed me. I didn’t set out to write a character death or a heavy story; but instead, it just came out of me. And with BEAST as my backdrop and with funerals in my head, it took me about a week to finish this story from draft to end.

In terms of technicalities and skills, this work best represents much of my experience as a writer. You can see it through my syntax and flow, through the concepts and metaphors I was weaving through the plot, through how I handled the head hopping and transitions between Oda and Dazai’s POVs (making sure that they were as smooth as silk for y’all’s reading experience), through how I handled the emotional stakes and the soulmate-ish vibes going on, and through how I described the grief and mourning for what could’ve been and for what came to be.

I’m not that surprised that the response for this fic has been on the lower side compared to my other works, especially since it revolves around character death and heavy themes. But if you really enjoy BEAST and would like an in-depth scene expansion between Oda and Dazai when they met for the last at Bar Lupin, I would definitely recommend this to you.

Tender is the Light | 1.5k | General

Christmas is a polarizing holiday, depending on who you ask, because we’re celebrating the humble birth of a man and are partnering it with consumerism. So already, this day is pretty sus and I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend it this year than to write and gift myself a very cuddly, drarry fanfic. As I mentioned in the author’s notes, I don’t normally write for myself and I especially don’t gift myself a fanfic for holiday purposes. But considering how this year went and how stressed I was and the epiphany I had during this month, the old constraints I had for myself didn’t matter and I just wanted to create something that I knew I would enjoy. That probably sounds selfish and a part of me thinks it is; but honestly, it isn’t because if I wanted to work and create something, it’s got to give me joy too -- I feel.

So you could almost say I was working out some internal things while writing this and was just having fun and didn’t care that there wasn’t really a plot to this entire thing. Since it was a fic for me, I just focused on what made me feel good and happy. And as it turns out, fluffy banters of humor and cuddly introspective smacked a nerve in my heart and I felt renewed every time I came to work on this. This was such a cathartic fic for me to work, and I just had the time of my life focusing on the small things that are like nuggets of gold for me.

Hold Me A Little Closer | 2.6k | Mature

2020 was a year of many things, much of which I won’t mention and much of which we’re still living through. It was also the year I wrote my first, full-fledged smut. Or more accurately, my first genuine attempt at writing smut through my perspective as a biromantic asexual. Since 2018, I’ve been experimenting with how I wanted to portray physical intimacy and every time I scrolled through the Internet or read how others have done it, what I found was that there weren’t many resources or approaches that I felt comfortable with or with writing. Most of what you find out there is pretty much you figure it out on your own, or just looking at what others have done and copying it. Which that in itself comes with its own difficulties, depending on the approach you want to take with your own smut.

So being a discovery writer with my headlights down the path, I decided to write my first smut with an introspective approach + a tad of ace perspective because that’s who I am. I love the concept of emotional intimacy and that was the forefront for this story, accompanying the physical details. Because I knew for myself that odazai was more than just the physical aspect of it, and that both characters enjoy each other in an emotional or thoughtful setting where they can be vulnerable and be themselves and all the juicy bits about that whenever they’re together. And that might be the ace in me talking, but that’s the kind of intimacy I love between characters and the physical aspect is just one medium out of many in how they can convey that.

Personally, I would say this is the story that got me more comfortable writing for odazai. I’ve written for them beforehand in a few other fics, but this is definitely the one where I grew to know and care for them more and it comes through with the writing.

If My Eyes Were to Linger | 1.5k | General

With me talking about the top best fics that I’ve written this year, there’s no way I could conclude this without talking about the first fic I wrote for a new fandom. This story is my first foray into drarry and it comes after weeks of reading all sorts of content from them writers and I wanted to try it too. This harkens back to nine years ago when I wrote my first fanfic: I saw that others were writing stories and I wanted to do it, too. That brief childhood spark was the catalyst I needed when I considered and began jotting out this piece. You can tell through my writing that I’m figuring things out and figuring how I want to approach the individual voices of Draco and Harry.

I should also add that I was nervous as shit while writing this because I was embarking into a fandom where I knew no one in the community and I knew that no one I knew would even follow or read what I was writing. It’s been a long time since I’ve splashed into waters like that and through the help of my friends and talking with them, they helped me carry through and finish writing this piece. That meant a lot to me because for the first time in a long time, I was finally writing for me. I was finally writing a story where I didn’t care so much about how the engagement would be because I already knew there wouldn’t be much because of the circumstances I was in. So without hits or kudoses or really any expectations, I just wrote what I wanted to write and I had a damn good time with reading as I went.

And with the past few drarry fics I’ve written this month, you can feel that the adrenaline and childlike glee that came back to me is still with me. I don’t know how long this energy will last or if it’ll go away and I’ll transition into something else. But what I do know is that there are certain freedoms that come with going into the unknown and rediscovering myself again. And to know that this is for me: more than anything, that means so much.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #oda sakunosuke #dazai osamu #odazai #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry #fanfic writing #fanfic writer

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pompompurin1028 · 3 years

Note

4, 5, 10, 23, 24, 25, 34,35, 36, 37,39, 43, 44 — sending u the same asks i sent rai cuz i wanna know what goes on in my faves minds 😌🤝 feel free to skip some tho ik its a lot LOL 😭❤️

No worries at all! This made me really happy🥺❤ And I am one of your faves?😭❤ I'll try my best to answer them all hehe

4. Link your three favorite fics right now

Just so you know they’re all about Dazai because I’m biased and he’s my favourite

Limerence in it’s Purest Form (genre: angst to fluff) This is literally one of my favourite fics that I’ve read before I actually started posted on this blog, it is so beautiful, and it made my heart ache at the same time I just-

Dépaysement (genre: angst) Another fic I read before I started posting on my blog and it absolutely stuck to me. It hurt me so bad but at the same time I think this is something Dazai would absolutely do which only saddens me even more, but it’s also so beautifully potraying Dazai’s character

Kind to the Lovers (genre: fluff) Jess’ writing is always absolutely beautiful, but this is one that I adore, I might be biased since I requested this one. But it absolutely made my heart flutter, and everything about it is so poetic, I could just clench my heart reading through it

There are of course many other fics that I enjoy, but these three are probably my favourites as of this moment

Putting a read more here because this is going to be long, since I also have a horrible tendency to overwrite haha I’m so sorry😂😅

Fic writer ask game

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

I think my biggest fanfic pet peeve is that a character is not in character if that makes sense? It just doesn’t feel right to me, and I would say yes, it does have an effect, not really on whether I read something, but more of if I like it or not. That’s why I do try very hard to make sure that when I write I do my absolute best to make sure that if I do write a character that they’re as in character to the best of my ability.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Dazai haha. He’s my favourite and my comfort character at this moment, so I tend to read a lot about him. But I also read others such as Chuuya and Akutagawa as well

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Hurt/comfort fics. I write a lot of them because I enjoy exploring different emotions, but at the same time I always want a happy or just a hopeful ending for my characters because that is what they deserve, especially in BSD. I especially enjoy exploring Dazai’s emotions in my fics and have the reader help him with getting a revelation and understanding, as it genuinely makes me really happy and I feel like gives a great sense of positivity and hope

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

I can’t exactly think of something off the top of my head at this moment, but I don’t think I’ll write smut as it makes me uncomfortable

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

I would actually say that I put quite a bit of myself into my writing, though of course most the feelings I write in the fics are not my own, as I write mostly from Dazai’s POV. But they are quite personal to me, as I would try to imagine myself in that scenario to write them, and I would also put feelings from my experiences into them if applicable. But if I had to choose one fic that is most personal to me it is this one

As for my reader’s image, I am honestly not really sure haha. I do hope they think me well! Though judging by the way friends whom I’m comfortable enough to show my writing to, they think it’s beautiful, deep yet still feels like me, they enjoyed my play on perspectives, and I can only hope my readers on here feel the same🥰

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

I think it changed quite a bit! I’ve always loved writing since I was really young, and writing fics actually encouraged me to pursue in this passion and actually get down to write haha

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?

No not really, also I’ve only written for one other fandom than BSD and I am embarrassed about it haha, not for being a part of it but for what I’ve written because looking back my writing style is so bad😭

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

I’m literally working on a fic at this moment👀It’s still in progress but it’s coming along?

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I like my writing style as of this moment haha, I do like the expressions that I use and I pride myself in that!

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember

Honestly just meeting new people and friends! It is always lovely to me that we can meet people from all over the world because of a common interest!

44. Rant about something writing related

Starting a fic is so difficult for me at least. I always want my opening sentence to be a nice hook but at times it can prove to be quite difficult😥

#asks💌#Vivi🌻

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kaikaikitanmp3 · 3 years

Note

Excuse me while I toss a bunch of questions at you. I am all here for the rants.

How would you end BSD?

Would you change the ending of Death Note?

Unpopular opinion about Alois Trancy?

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

hey bestie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how dare you apologize for that >:( you know you’re my favourite ranter too!!

How would you end BSD?

lmao no idea. at this point it’s really hard to tell who’s gonna die and who’s not, i think the only person i know for sure will stay alive no matter what is atsushi (wack). i’d like to see fyozai ending each other though, it would be one of the most epic things ever, idk, i would not be at peace if one of them stays alive while the other has to perish. i also don’t quite see them both well and alive at the end of the whole thing. i’d like to see fukuchi destroyed, i want to see fedya laughing at his face and telling him he’s been used like any other person, it would satisfying yea. you know, it’s really hard to try and think “in-canon”, because my thoughts are clearly kind of different from asagiri’s, but yeah. imagine fyozai world domination though:):))):)))))):):)) jk jk (no)

idk i think we’ve talked about fyodor maybe not quite becoming a good man (god forbid) but perhaps landing a helping hand and getting to assist the ada buuut… i can’t say i imagine anyone or anything worse than him haha so idk what they would all fight against, unless it’s like…the apocalypse or something, with mighty gods and apostles involved, but i don’t think it would be quite in genre anyway. so yes, him and dazai destroying each other so the ada, the pm and the rest stay safe and stuff. being a martyr and being suicidal is the same thing, from one point of view, in the end. oh idk why but i really would like to see sigma finding his own purpose in life, i feel so bad for him. actually, no, i want everyone to be happy and safe and in therapy, but no, that would be quite an abominable decision. all that for a happy ending?? no, thank you. i would like to experience a lot of deaths and sacrifices. i think Q will die btw. i’m gonna cry like a baby, but that kid…and i mean it sincerely, but that kid gives off the strongest suicidal vibe, seriously. love them always forever.

oh well, what a mess of an answer. anyway, i don’t think i can answer that properly, i’m very biased bc i’ve read a shit ton of fanfics that were masterpieces, but i think youll understand me anyways. and how would you?? thoughts?? opinions??? please?????

Would you change the ending of Death Note?

no, never. i mean i hate light and i’m glad he’s dead, why would i. L’s death?? heartbreaking, but…no, let’s be real, it was good. it was excellent. it left light lost, confused and lonely, so fuck that little bitch and fuck his god complex.

i feel very sorry for misa, i don’t know if i would change the way she had to end, but that makes a lot of sense, too. no rem, no light, nothing but her shinigami eyes and most horrible memories. maybe it was for the best too, i wouldn’t want her to suffer any more than she already did.

god i WANT to say i’d change mello’s death, but it was top tier writing, too. a stupid death for a stupidly gorgeous boy, and in the end, it all went just like L had wanted: on their own, neither near nor mello couldve defeated light, but together…they could. and they did. mello knew exactly what was doing and what he signed up for, he knew he’d have to go after leaving takada like that, let’s not forget that he was one of the smartest people ever, just like L and near, and knowing this all…brings me peace, yea.

i have a lot of feelings towards ryuk too, i mean, if you look at that, he’s always been an outcast in the world of shinigamis, and the way he sat the after light’s death……he looked quite sad haha. now i’m not saying that he was attached to light, i don’t think light would be capable of awaking anything like that in someone like ryuk, he was not that kind of a person, not like misa; but i’d like to maybe see ryuk finding someone else to watch and to be amused by, he was quite lovable as a character. and to be compleeetely honest with you, i’ve alwYs been wondering about the whole shinigami situation in general, i mean yeah, they’re gods of death, but they looked quite pathetic in their realm. i wouldn’t be opposed to seeing how their story would progress, i remember thinking about it after my first death note rewatch… idk

would you??

Unpopular opinion about Alois Trancy?

alois📣did📣nothing📣wrong

my little meow meow🥺🥺

idk maybe he wasn’t one of the best written characters in the show, but he sure was one of the most interesting ones. you know how fascinated i am by him, you do. he didn’t deserve all that, fuck claude and his fake ass, hope he, uh…burns in hell?? for eternity?? idk i just hope he suffers a lot wherever he is

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

no, never. it would be a nice experience, but so far it’s been the other way around, there were so many ships i didn’t mind or kind of enjoyed before they got spoiled for me by, ah…unpleasant ppl

although… a few times i found myself starting to like a ship i used to be indifferent/didn’t know about after learning that ppl i didn’t like hated it. the enemy of my enemy, as they say..

#bug love of mine

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