"What's it like to be filled with dread? Dreadfully."
Dazai Osamu x reader
This was not supposed to happen. He had gone over every part of the plan and had backup responses in case things went wrong, but not for this. Never for this.
You were not supposed to be there and Dazai could only watch as you jumped out from behind a column, where he had left you after you chased after him.
God, you were stubborn. He should have known, should have considered that, but you were too impulsive, too irrational. Quick to jump the gun and ask questions later.
The sound of the gunshot replayed in his ears like a broken record. He could only stand and watch as blood began to soak your shirt, right by your abdomen on your left side. But it was your scream that haunted him. His mind raced, his heart pumped blood through his veins, and adrenaline flooded his senses. Dread filled him as he saw the pool of blood growing around your fallen body.
Yosano was not here, but he knew that when the blood reached a certain amount, there was nothing that could be done.
Your pained gasp brought him back to his senses. His knees buckled and he crawled over to you. His gun fell to the ground, but he did not care. He was open and vulnerable to be killed, but he would gladly die if it meant staying next to you.
His hands cradled your head, heavy and pale, as a string of blood left your mouth and your eyes focused on him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Osamu… I'm sorry…" Your breath quickened as the pain shot through your body. A small cry escaped your lips, and your eyes watered as they focused on Dazai. His hands shook as he reached over to place a hand on your wound and apply pressure, earning a cry from you as your face twisted in pain and sweat gathered on your forehead.
"I know, I know, shh shh, you're okay… you're okay, just breathe, please." He did not realize that the fighting was still going on, the ringing in his ears too loud. He could feel that he was losing you. He had killed enough people to know when they were too far gone. But he held onto hope and thought about Yosano. His hand slipped into his pocket, gripping his phone, but his hands were too shaky and the phone slipped from his grasp, now covered in blood.
For the first time, the sight of blood made his gut twist. Your blood. His attention returned to your face, your eyes turning glassy as you cried freely. The hand he had on your stomach was now deep crimson and slippery, but he pressed harder. This time, you did not gasp in pain, and he felt panic rise in his chest.
He turned to you, a panicked expression on his face as he felt like a knife was twisting in his heart. You looked at him, your panicked face mirroring his. "I can't…" Your eyes turned misty and tears gathered in them. "I can't feel your touch." Your voice came out softly, barely above a whisper, but it resonated harshly in Dazai's ears. "I don't want to die, Osamu." Your eyes were full of terror as you came to grips with your situation. Dazai felt his heart breaking, his chest tightening until he couldn't breathe quite right.
"No, no, please, breathe, you're okay." His voice broke as he clung to your hand, his eyes searching around the chaos for his phone, his breaths ragged and short. "I can call Yosano… she'll heal you in no time, please just hold on for me, please." Tears blurred his vision and he wiped them away angrily, your blood coating his face. The smell of iron filled his nose, and he felt sick. Tears fell from your eyes as you sobbed softly in his arms. The blood was too much.
His eyes snapped to yours, watching the life in your eyes slowly vanish. "I love y-" Your voice faded out before you could finish, your life draining out of you in crimson streams, pooling around him and swallowing him whole. "No, no, please…" He let himself fall onto you, his cries muffled by your chest, the feeling of your body pressed against his. "Not you too, please… don't leave me too."
Time slowed to a stop. The ringing in his ears became louder. Dread filled his lungs and his mind.
You were gone. And this time, it was his fault.
I felt like trying my hand at angst. I used a part of the baseline test from the movie Blade Runner 2049. Hope I did it right. Do message me with any thoughts or improvements for the future or this fic in particular!
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