wanting to feel wanted is another recurring theme I’ve noticed on this album. she wants her lover to want her back and prioritize her (imgonnagetyouback, the alchemy, the albatross, so high school). she wants her exes to wonder about her (the black dog, chloe or sam or sophia or marcus, peter). as soon as she feels wanted again, she makes drastic decisions, whether it be leaving her current relationship or rekindling it (guilty as sin vs imgonnagetyouback). she’s at her lowest when she feels discarded or resented. she’d rather be experimented on and broken over and over again than left stranded (down bad). he runs because he loves her. she’ll bolt before he gets the chance to.
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One of the things that sticks out to me about Jon is just how active and readily available his kindness is. And it’s funny because the fandom at large considers Jon to be someone with a good heart, but he usually isn’t specifically linked to kindness as a key character trait even though he should be. Because every now and then, we have moments where Jon is just so proactive in how good he is to people. Not like it’s a performance, but it’s just something that comes to him naturally. And it doesn’t have to be big things either because sometimes, it’s really the little things that matter. Take this interaction with Tyrion for example:
“Boy,” a voice called out to him. Jon turned.
Tyrion Lannister was sitting on the ledge above the door to the Great Hall, looking for all the world like a gargoyle. The dwarf grinned down at him. “Is that animal a wolf?”
“A direwolf,” Jon said. “His name is Ghost.” He stared up at the little man, his disappointment suddenly forgotten. “What are you doing up there? Why aren’t you at the feast?”
“Too hot, too noisy, and I’d drunk too much wine,” the dwarf told him. “I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother. Might I have a closer look at your wolf?”
Jon hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Can you climb down, or shall I bring a ladder?”
- Jon I, AGOT
First, it’s quite adorable how readily he strikes up conversation with Tyrion, a man he’s just met. The hint of curiosity mixed with concern when he asks Tyrion why he isn’t at the feast is cute.
But it’s the last line that stands out to me. “Shall I bring a ladder?” Because he could’ve just said “shall I call for a ladder?” but he didn’t. The latter suggests that someone else will do the brunt of the work. It’s still kind, because he’d still be looking out for Tyrion, but it puts him in a passive role. Instead, he means to get the ladder himself. He will look for it, bring it, and position it for Tyrion to use. So now his kindness is very much active. His empathy is on full display here as well because he acknowledges that Tyrion may need assistance and takes the initiate to provide it.
This seems like such a silly thing to get hung up on but I love this small moment because it provides a lot of depth to a character who is meant to serve as the series’ traditional hero - a role that is often times “good” by default without exploring how or why. Anyone who’s read Jon I knows that he has spent the chapter being a raging jerk. But GRRM uses this moment to remind us that despite being a moody, asshole-ish, 14 yr old boy, Jon is a really good kid at the end of the day. He’s is kind and he’s so active in how he practices his kindness. Even to people he doesn’t know and has no obligations to.
Because we’ve had a bit of whiplash so far. Bran I established Jon as a sweet and empathetic, self-sacrificial brother. But the first part of Jon I makes us question that when we see his pettiness and immaturity on full display. It almost seems like a case of unreliable narration from Bran, until we get to this last part when Jon gets a small moment to redeem himself. Which he does ~ and it’s done beautifully because it later links to some of the larger themes in Jon’s storyline. That he is one who actively looks out for the “cripples and bastards and broken things”. It’s not just looking out for Bran when they found the direwolf pups, but looking out for Tyrion in this chapter, and then for Arya and Bran again in Jon II, and then for Grenn in the last part of Jon III, and for Sam in Jon IV, and so forth and so forth. It’s a pattern that’s established through big and small moments all throughout AGOT where Jon still has a lot of growing up to do. But these moments, at large, serve as an anchor to remind us why we ought to care for this hero’s journey.
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