FFXIV Write 2022
//ffxivwrite info//prompt list//characters//master post//
Prompt twelve: Miss the boat | Idiom; to lose an opportunity to do something by being slow to act |
Word count: 774
Characters: Kien's ancient, Apollo (before he took the seat of Azem), Hermes, Meteion
CW: None
Notes: At first I thought I'd do a Kien x G'raha story but then the intrusive ancient brain worms said "but what about Kien's ancient Apollo and his unrequited love for Hermes?" SO HERE YA GO XD I’ll probably go back and add more to this at a later date cause I wrote this pretty late last night and I really love this connection—I hope I was able to capture his story well!
Endwalker spoilers!
Before I had taken my place in the Convocation, I had been a scholar on Elpis. At first, it didn’t make sense as to why I was there. I was clumsy, hardly any good at creating or overseeing anything except maybe the check in desk at the library in Amaurot. Someone out there must’ve seen potential in me. I suppose they found my journal of drawings of all the different creation ideas I had and places I had hoped to one day visit. I just hope they hadn’t learned about my accidental creation of quite possibly the most hideous and strangely affectionate creature on my first day there.
Even so, I’m glad I was assigned to Elpis. I had a chance to meet Hermes. He was the Chief overseer of Elpis and while his title made him seem intimidating, he was actually quite kind and approachable. He helped me settle in on my responsibilities the first day; he even thought my accidental creation was clever, even if my fellow scholars didn’t agree.
I’m not sure what drew me to him. He was handsome, sure, but also passionate and truly caring about life not just on Elpis but all of Etheirys. I’d often catch him by himself, just gazing at the sky with his beloved creation by his side and though he smiled often, there seemed to be a sadness deep within his heart. Even so, I found myself wanting to know what life was like through his eyes.
I threw myself into my work. Any excuse to be near him. After some time, it seemed my dedication paid off. Hermes approached me and asked me to be his assistant and how elated I was. The days I spent by his side were the best days. We spent hours talking about everything—I learned so many new things not just about Elpis but all of Etheirys. We had become even closer than before and I couldn’t help notice how much more relaxed and happy he was. I found myself falling for him.
I never worked up the courage to say something to him though. I was too afraid of what he’d say, too afraid of rejection. I kept my feelings to myself. Meteion knew though. It was hard to hide anything from her but she was happy to have someone love him just as much. We both wanted his happiness.
The day I left to take the seat of Azem was both the happiest and saddest day. It was a chance to finally go see the world like I had dreamed of but it also meant leaving him and Meteion. Hermes understood of course but Meteion didn’t want me to leave—she gave me a feather as a parting gift to help ease the sadness and made me promise to return every so often to tell her all about the things I saw. I agreed as she hugged me tightly and Hermes thanked me for my hard work and that was it. I resolved to myself I’d never see him again and that my feelings for him would be left unsaid.
I returned from a trip when I learned he had accepted the empty seat of Fandaniel and oh, how happy I was to be near him once again. But, he was different. He seemed sadder, more absorbed in his work than ever before, and worse of all, he told me Meteion became unstable and that in itself seemed to drive him closer to the choices he made as the Final Days approached.
He became enthralled by his own creation. It was too late for him. It was too late for any of us, really. I was opposed to the Convocation’s plan—I stepped down from my seat and defied my colleagues wishes. Before I left though, Venat told me everything that had happened that day on Elpis with him and Meteion.
I don’t know why she did. Mayhap she thought that in my knowing of the truth, it would help me better understand the choices he made, that it might ease the pain and confusion I had been feeling. In a way it did, but I was overwhelmed by my own foolishness of how blind I had been to just how much sadness and longing was locked inside his heart.
You were looking for the meaning of life, Hermes…and I believe I had found the answer that you had been searching for, even if it was just on my end. Life with you was all the more worthwhile.
If only I had told him that. Mayhap, it could have saved him.
–a page from Apollo’s journal
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Neuvillette went from "The judgment of the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale is, by law, the final verdict of the court. We must accept the guilty verdict" to "This sentence is too severe. Forgive me for overruling it".
That's character development at its finest babey!!!
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BITCH AND ANOTHER THING. the way david tennant played that last scene when he was like “i was going to say it before you said your whole thing and im still gonna say it anyways (because i owe it to myself)”... bitch broke my fuckin HEART. the voice wavering?? the breaking off to recompose themselves????? fucking EXCUSE me?? and the lead-in into crowley’s speech back because like. the disbelief. the refusal to believe because he knows his angel and he truly, truly cannot believe that aziraphale would say anything but no, but he also knows aziraphale, and must ask. god. heartbreaking.
and lets not fucking forget the first ineffable husbands kiss being like that to THE SLOW BUILDING PEAK OF THE TRAGIC BACKING MUSIC????? HELLO????????
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Insert “Was anyone gonna tell me [Blank] or was I supposed to just find out from [Blank]” meme here about how DEXTER IS THE HAPPY FELLAH OH MY GOSH
this makes things so damn tragic when you see the notes while this man was spiraling. When we see him in Deadly Smiles he is on that VERGE of a meltdown, past the point of being able to restrain himself from hurting even kids. And even then- EVEN THEN!!!-man is trying to get AWAY from Skid and Pump when he can, to find a fix elsewhere, from ANYONE else if it’s an option, and by majority going at adults!
A willingness to be brought home by Roy at seeing the bullying happening, to go at the homeless guys, the van kidnapper, even the criminals in jail. But time and time again, getting thwarted, being diverted, until the promise of never getting away from these kids and starved makes him SNAP.
I have to rewatch Deadly Smiles and just, take this all in with this new perspective I am REELING.
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