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serenity-songbird · 8 months

Note

can I request an admirer!reader x butters ?? :)

basically the reader has a big crush on butters and gives him a bunch of gifts and eventually (with the help of wendy) the reader asks butters out publicly?

I saw another writer do this so I wanted to see u do it

(Ooh, another writer did this?! Totally send me the link. I'd love to read it!).

You started longingly at the boy who stole your heart.

Leopold "Butters" Stotch.

He was the sweetest most innocent, cinnamon roll you'd ever met.

You wanted to protect him and give him all the love he deserved.

You would never treat him the way his so-called friends do. How dare they use him for horrible things just because he is gullible.

At first, it was a little crush. Then it blossomed into something more.

Something...magical.

You were going to make that boy your bride.

It started off small.

You'd talk to him and got to know him better whenever you could. Not only were you both were in the same class, you were both seated next to each other, so it was easy to get his attention. You did things like "accidentally" dropping something on the floor or lightly bumping into him just to get his attention. Butters was so sweet whoever he picked up whatever object you dropped or when you'd stumble and he'd catch you.

*Congratulations!*

The next step was all of the gifts and compliments you'd give him. Whether it be food, games, clothes, flowers, etc. He loved all of them. Sometimes you'd give him gifts face to face. Other times, you would place mystery items in his locker and write "From your secret admirer." His face would light up whenever he opened his locker to see a surprise. (Although the boy is oblivious, that's for sure. Despite you physically giving him gifts from your own hands, he thought the locker gifts were from another person.)

*You leveled up from acquaintance to the "clumsy" friend.*

Nevertheless, you still loved him to pieces.

Butters felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He'd be so grateful for all of the gifts and affection. You two started spending time together out of school now, getting closer each day.

*Congratulations!

*You've upgraded to Best Friend!*

Now that you were friends, you spent a lot of time with me and Stan's group.

You got along with Stan and Kyle well. You were closer to Kenny as you'd always joke around with him and Butters.

And then there was Cartman...

You hated Cartman.

And he hated you.

Everytime Cartman tried to trick Butters into doing one of his schemes, you'd immediately prevent it. You weren't going to let your cinnamon roll her involved with the likes of Cartman anymore.

You also hated Butters' parents. They treated him like garbage.

You admired Butters on how strong he was. You admired that despite his horrible home life, he could still smile happily and love unconditionally.

At first, his parents hated you. Everytime they would try to ground him you'd counter with a debate that would oppose their reasonings. You'd make them look stupid and they hated it.

(Butters was banned from ever seeing or talking to you. Of course, you didn't care and were still attached by the hip to him.)

Although you did these things, they respected you as well. Because of you, Butters was becoming a better person. He was no longer as gullible to Cartman's schemes due to your insight. This caused him to not getting into trouble as often as he used to.

It took a while, but eventually his parents warmed up to you. (And that was only after you did they a huge service for them. But thats a whole other story).

With everything set in place, you planned to ask Butters out to officially be your boyfriend.

Then you encountered a problem. When it came down to it, you froze. For some reason, the thought of Butters rejecting you and this ruining your friendship crushed you.

When you told Wendy about it, she offered to help.

Her plan involved announcing it in the gym with the cheerleaders as background dancers. It was a bit...much, but you hoped he'd like it. You wanted to show him how much you care.

At the end of the school day on Friday was when the plan was set in motion.

Nicole and Heidi offered to pull Butters away from Cartman and lead him to the gym. When the three of them walked in, the girls ran into position. With pom poms rustling the cheerleaders chanted.

"Hey! Hey! Look it's Butters!

Your secret admirer, wonders!

Will you be their special other?

They're done being undercover!

Listen to their words and see,

Just how much you're meant to be! "

They slid aside to reveal you nervously holding a piece of paper in your hands. For a moment you were tongue-tied and could barely squeak out a word. However, a push from Bebe snapped you out of it and you walked up to him. Albeit...Robotically.

"U-uhm, heeey Butters. Heh." You shyly waved to him in embarrassment. "I-I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. Ever since the moment I first saw you, I fell head over heels. That feeling only increased when I became your friend and got to know you even better. I was the one leaving those gifts and love letters in your locker this whole time. I, er, I'm not very good at this..." You took a deep breath." D-do you want to be my boyfriend? I've f-fallen in l-l-love with you and I want the whole school to know it. I-I want to k-kiss a-and hold h-hands. I w-want to celebrate Valentine's Day with you and go on romantic dates and cuddle... And stuff. Ugh, sorry, this is completely pathetic, isn't it? Maybe-I should-"

"I don't think it's pathetic. In fact... I'm over the moon!" You finally looked him in the face. He was red as a tomato, but he had a huge smile on his face. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend! I've liked you for a long time too." He rubbed his knuckles together. "Golly , I-I was really hoping my secret admirer was you to be honest. And it is!"

You couldn't fight the grin that overtook your face. You were still burning red from embarrassment, but you were happy he felt the same way.

"R-really?! You'll be my boyfriend?!"

"Of course!" You squealed as you pulled him into a hug. The cheerleaders cheered.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Butters laughed as he hugged you back.

That next Monday, everyone knew you two were dating. The cheerleaders practically told everyone. Plus, you both had updated your social media to dating. Cartman gagged as you two held hands while walking down the hallway, but everyone else was supportive. It was a bit corny, ridiculous, and perhaps a bit cringy confession according to the boys. But Butters like it. That's all that matters to you.

#south park #south park x reader #sp style #wendy testaburger #butters x reader #south park butters

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serenity-songbird · 8 months

Text

Hello everyone!!! I come with bad news unfortunately.

I will no longer be doing NSFW requests. I've been...going through some things recently and I haven't been able to stomach or come up with ideas for NSFW.

The previous works will still be available, but any new and unfinished requests will be deleted.

I'm sorry... I just can't right now. I know most of these requests are NSFW but I will be deleting them. I have tried multiple times on multiple occasions to finish them which is why nothing has been posted in a while.

At this moment I am unable to process these types of requests.

Again... I am terribly and truly sorry.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to start writing NSFW again, but I do not see that happening for quite a while. Should the time come, I will let you know.

Thank you for all your support.

#my apologies #no more NSFW works til further notice

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serenity-songbird · 9 months

Text

Falling Apart

(I feel like these chapters get longer and longer everytime...Welp enjoy the ride. First post in a while BABY!!!)

How does one describe love?

It is fragile, yet tough.

It can be pure ecstacy and utter heartbreak.

It is bittersweet.

It can be as hard to break as a diamond, yet at the same time, it can be shattered in a million pieces.

It is both ignorant and blind while being as clear as day.

It can be all these things and more.

But no matter how hard you put it to thought, there isn't a simple word or sentence that can really describe what love is.

Why are people so desperate to fall in love when it brings us such sorrow and despair?

The Frenchman sat at the balcony pondering all this. He held a cup of wine in his hands and swirled it before taking another sip.

He watched as the sunset over the horizon. The sky covered in beautiful hues of red, purple, and orange. He closed his eyes as a cool breeze flew through his golden locks.

Thoughts of you flooded his mind and regret drowned his heart.

To him, you were a beautiful mystery.

He remembers when he used to fear you, but now...his couldn't deny that he felt a different feeling for you.

He had tried to deny it for so long that he couldn't see it. Now, reality just bitchslapped him across the face before he realized he had fallen in love with you.

He remembered when he was one of Jessica's suitors and would woo her to no end. He couldn't remember when, but recently he realized that he did not see her in the same light.

Was he still protective over her?

Yes, as everyone in this household was.

But now, it was more of a platonic protective similar to how a sibling (you) would feel.

How could he have been so stupid?

The man furrowed his eyebrows and tsked in aggravation.

Was it too late for a fool, such as himself, to take it all back?

Yes.

Ah. What was he to do?

He closed his eyes and memories of that fateful day played like a movie in his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Francis put his hands on his hips and breathed in the fresh air.

"Ah! It is a beautiful day, isn't it mon amie?"

The Canadian lagged behind trying to adjust the straps on the bag carrying the 14 golf clubs. It's not that he was struggling with its weight. The Canadian was quite strong. No the straps just refused to cooperate with him. He may be a bit tangled up...

"Yup. It is a great day." He grimaced as the strap rubbed against his neck hard...That was going to leave a mark...

"Oui!!! It is ze perfect day to enjoy ze weather and golf!" He glowed in the sunlight as he raised his arms high in anticipation. The Frenchman still hadn't noticed Matthew's struggle with the bag...

"Ah! We have finally made it to ze first hole! Matthew, please give me my wood club!"

"Ummm...Which one was the again?"

Francis sighed. How was he to participate in the golfing tournament this year with a caddie who didn't know anything about golf?

Well, since his old caddie quit, he doesn't have much of a choice...At least Matthew offered to help.

Well, Francis is going to have to teach him how to be a caddie.

He sweat-dropped to see Matthew tangled up in the straps.

*"Cela pourrait prendre un certain temps..."*

*(This may take some time...)*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mathew was quite the quick learner.

After some explanations and pointing things out, he got most of the game down and was able to properly be a caddie.

Francis was currently on hole 10 and was killing it.

He was confident that he could win the tournament.

"Fore!!!" He shouted before hitting the ball.

It's going.

Its going.

Oh no wait!!!

Not that way!!!

Noooo!!!

The ball plopped right into the lake.

A water hazard...

Francis sighed and went to put another ball on the tee pin.

"Bwahahaha!!! Wow! You are terrible at golf!"

"Sacré bleu!!!" Francis nearly had a heartattack.

He turned sharply to see...Elizaveta and...you holding your stomach in laughter.

He didn't know you two knew each other.

"You shouldn't be laughing, (Y/N)...You are vay vorse than he is...." Elizaveta sighed.

"That's because golf is a stupid sport!!!" You countered in frustration as you puffed out your cheeks.

"A-ah, Elizaveta...and (Y/N). W-What brings you here?" Francis was now walking on eggshells. He did not want to set off your anger.

You grabbed the railing of the golf cart you were on and stepped out. You wore a white collared shirt with gold buttons and a knee length (F/C) skirt. You ajusted (F/C) visor and walked over with your black and white golf shoes.

Francis had to admit. You were a beautiful woman. You had curves that were perfect to grab and pull you into a passionate dipped kiss.

But he would never do that to you. You'd surely beat him to death and bury him 8 ft underground. And yes he knows that they normally bury people 6 ft, but this women would beat him down two more feet...

"Have you forgotten, Francie? I too, am competing in the golf tournament zhis year. My best friend, (Y/N) offered to be my caddie."

"I wouldn't say offered...More as in forced..."

"Vhat was zat?" Elizaveta swirled her head to you, eyes glowing red.

"Eek!!! N-Nothing!" You cowered behind the closest thing to you. Which so happened to be poor Mattie.

You had grabbed onto him so roughly that you accidentally pulled him down, taking both you and the 2 tour bags belonging to Elizaveta and Francis down with.

"Ahhh!!!" "Eek!!!" You and Matthew screeched at the same time as you fell and the supplies In the bags scattered around.

Elizaveta pinched her nose and Francis sweatdropped.

"Oops...Sorry..." You apologized trying to push Matthew off you. Instead you made the tangle worse. Matthew just sighed in defeat. He was just done and was too annoyed to feel fear.

Elizaveta and Francis had to detangle you from each other.

Some time had passed afterwards. Elizaveta and Francis were waaay absorbed into their little competition they were having. They were tied something to something...Honestly, you weren't keeping track.

Golf was hard to understand.

Matthew was nice enough to try and explain it to you, buuut...it wasn't going so well.

Honestly, Matthew was suprised you were even being nice to him and not ignoring him.

(Little did he know, that you were being nice because Elizaveta was there and you didn't want her to kill you. With the small conversations he started to ease the tension, he wasn't so bad. So you were a little more friendly to him. Which made him grateful).

"Sooo. I know you tried to explain it all, buuut I'm not catching on at all. Why are there so many rules and such a difficult scoring system? All you got to do is hit the ball and get it in the hole." You sighed. "What a drag..."

"Yeah...I'll have to agree with you on that one." Matthew was now more relaxed. You were actually a nice person when you weren't yelling or throwing your fists around. Using his peripheral vision, he glanced at you. Something in him wanted to ask this question, but he wasn't sure where it came from. "Ms. (Y/N)? May I ask you a personal question?"

"First, don't call me Ms. (Y/N). Just (Y/N) is fine and depending on the question, sure."

"Why are you so against your sister falling in love with us?"

You clenched your fists around the club you were leaning on. You're face scrunched up with an emotion he couldn't decipher.

"..."

"I-I'm sorry. Was that too-"

"You seem like a decent person, Mattie. So I'll tell you." You locked eyes with him and his heart dropped. Your eyes were cold and dull. "Love is a scam. I've learned time and time again that nothing good comes out of it. You think you're on top of the world only to discover it was all a lie and you were at rock bottom. You only get used and abused." A stray tear dripped down your right eye. "It's not worth it...I'm just trying to protect my sister from the same fate..."

Your voice was distant and forlorn in a manner he never witnessed. From just those words and tone, he felt like he suddenly understood you. He may not know the details of what you went through, but he understood enough.

He wanted to help you.

"You're crying..."

"I'm not crying. There's just dirt in my eye."

"...Of course." He decided to drop it, knowing how stubborn you are. He passed you a tissue. "Here. To wipe the dirt away."

"...Thanks." You wiped your face and put on some sunglasses...To block the sun of course. You and Matt stood in silence for a few minutes before Elizaveta started cursing near the lake. You both walked over to see the problem.

"A Fenébe! [Damn it] It blew my golf ball into ze lake!"

"Hon hon hon. Seems you are not as good as you thought, Oui?"

"You shouldn't be talking. Your ball went in the lake too." You deadpanned.

"Igen! You are not one to talk! Aw, it's too bad. I really loved zhat golf ball. It waz pink."

"Oh, I'll get it for you. I'm a really good swimmer." With no hesitation you jumped into the lake.

"Aaahhh!!! Te őrült lány !! (You crazy woman) Vhat are you doing?!?!?!" Elizaveta screeched.

"Wait, am I supposed to get your ball too Francis! I know you said I have to carry your stuff and pick it up..." Matthew scratched his head in confusion.

"Non!!! Once ze ball gets in the lake, it's supposed to stay zhere!"

"I got it!!!" You surfaced from the water holding the ball high and proud.

"Get out of ze vater now!!!" Elizaveta grabbed a beach towel that you brought along so you could sit on the grass.

You got out the water and your white shirt had become see through. Everyone could see your bra. Matthew looked away, Respectfully. Francis on the other hand stared...Respectively.

"It really is a shame zhat she is so scary..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well...this day wasn't what Francis had planned at all...

Elizaveta practically dragged you into the women's locker room spewing curses and lectures on ladylike behaviors.

Francis was annoyed at the fact that instead of improving his skills, he ended up losing to Elizaveta...AGAIN. Not only t hat, but now he has to buy more golf balls since 2 are now lost forever in that damned lake. He signed his initials on them.

You could have at least gotten his balls too while you were at it. So unfair.

It doesn't help that he came here in the first place to ease his frustrations in the morning.

Arthur decided he wanted to try a new recipe...Somehow he managed to...well...he somehow set the water he was boiling on FIRE...

How?!?!?!

He tried to put out the fire by throwing the fish onto the fire...

Obviously that made it worse.

So then, the kitchen was on fire and not had a horrible smell of burning fish and...whatever it was that Arthur seasoned it with.

Ludwig put out the fire.

Arthur is no longer allowed in the kitchen.

As if that wasn't irritating enough, and here's the topper on the cake, his car broke down!!!

Are you kidding me?!?!?!

A squirrel somehow got into the hood of the car. When the car started up, the critter completely freaked out and damaged the battery.

Mr. Squirrel at least got away with no major injuries, but the car battery...not so lucky.

So now here he was sitting next to YOU of all people in the back of the car. Matthew was on the passenger side of the car. (Francis called shotgun, but Elizaveta didn't want to have to grab here frying pan to hit him while driving. And she was mad at you still for jumping into the lake and embarrassing her).

Worst part is...it was an hour drive to the Mechanics. You lot were following the tow truck there.

Elizaveta may get annoyed and angry with Francis from time to time, but she still offered to take him to the Mechanics due to her kind nature and (Despite your protesting, pouting, and grumbling in disagreement)

The car ride was silent and awkward at first. Matthew turned on the radio to cancel out the silence. While, it eased a bit of tension, the atmosphere was still awkward.

Elizaveta wasn't as angry anymore, but still a little frustrated. Matthew was nervous. Francis was annoyed. You were feeling guilty.

In order to ignore the tension around you, you pulled out your tablet and started designing.

You were an architect/interior designer. You worked on not only building houses, but designing them as well. You recently received a major project for a rich and famous man.

Richard Vicente (He is not real. He is an OC) is a famous Broadway Star. He's featured in musicals, plays, talk shows; you name it.

Not only that but, boy oh boy, is he handsome. Chestnut colored, wavy locks adored his head. His sunny smile would send hearts racing. Toned, 6ft, and all sexy.

The ladies would go crazy over him. You arel not like all the other girls who loved him because of his looks and charms. You were a fan of his talents.

That's. It.

You refused to fawn over some famous, most likely a, playboy. You refused to scream, jump around, and say something provocative or flirty to get him into bed.

You would never act like one of those foolish fangirls.

Perhaps that's why Vicky, your boss, asked you to do the project.

When they announced the project, literally everyone climbed over each other just to be the one who takes it.

You, on the other hand, stayed in your seat. Why would you want to cater to some playboy? He probably breaks hearts on a daily basis and uses women for his own sick needs and wants.

Gross.

And yet your boss practically slammed the papers on your desk and ordered you to be the lead. Plus, she said that if you did a good job, there was a possibility of promotion.

That word made you perk up. So of course you took the job. And only complained a little.

That's what you were working on right now. I'm going to tell you that this re-modeling...is the hardest fucking project you've ever taken!!!

What even is this?!?!?!

A waterslide leading from the bedroom into the living room pool??? Sure that sounds cool and all, but wouldn't it be better to have a normal slide inside the house and a waterslide outside or in a designated indoor pool room???

You can get water all over the furniture and walls. Possible Mold if not probably maintained.

Ugh...

You're getting a headache.

When you meet this man, you are going to kill him...At least in your mind...You really like your job and don't want to get fired...

Francis glanced over to you as you sighed in frustration. He examined the 3D Model you had designed. It wasn't finished, but the rooms you completed and the shape of the house was a sight to behold.

"Oh la vache! [Oh damn] (Y/N) zhat looks amazing!" Francis couldn't help but admire your skills. The modern look mixed with a techno theme somehow worked beautifully together.

You jumped when he exclaimed, and got confused when he suddenly moved to sit closer to you and flip around the 3D house in...is that admiration?

"U-um thanks...I get to lead a very important project. I'm creating the design based on what Mr. Vicente wrote down... though I'm having trouble designing the more...difficult structures."

Now that you snapped out of the initial shock of his unexpected reaction, you noticed how close he was now and suddenly got a familiar chill. It was not a good sign...You won't do this again.

"Also, back off! You're way too close to me right now!"

"But Cherie! I couldn't help but admire your talented model...Aussie [Also] I couldn't help, but notice your face," he gently grabbed your chin seductively, "Turned wine red when you saw 'ow close I was. Could it be, you've fallen for me?"

"Fallen for-??? Absolutely not!!!" You smacked his hand away. Turned your face and crossed your arms. "Humph!"

"She hit me!!! Did you see zhat?! Si méchant! [How mean]"

"That's vhat you get!!! Keep your filthy French hands off of her before I turn zhis car around!" Elizaveta swiftly became overprotective.

Matthew sighed. He just wanted to go back home.

Francis pouted in the corner dramatically for a bit.

A few minutes passed by before Francis muttered a suggestion out of the blue.

"By zhe way...If 'e really wants a swirly slide why don't you build zhe slide to become a tube and 'ave it lead outside? It would solve zhe problem of limited room indoors. You can also put a glass shield around zhe indoor pool to prevent water damage on zhe furniture. And a spot with towels so 'e can dry off and not get water all over zhe place when 'e gets out. Although...I zhink zhe idea of a waterslide is ridiculous. A regular slide, sure, but a waterslide? Oh là là... I would personally try and change 'is mind"

You paused.

"Those...weren't terrible ideas...Maybe you're onto something...But how should I make it look?"

As quickly as a snap of the fingers, you got into work mood and Francis got looped into helping with creating blueprints.

You loved your job. You were passionate about it and got excited whenever talking about it.

Francis, had never seen you so...passionate. There was a sparkle in your eyes and you smiled in excitement. Whenever he proposed an idea or recommendation based on Mr. Vicente's wants, you'd get so excited.

You'd exclaim, "Wow! That's a great idea!" And eagerly write it down or build it into the 3D model.

The both of you worked together to create an almost complete blueprint. When Elizaveta pulled into the Mechanic parking lot, the two of you didn't notice.

Both Matthew and her were surprised by the change in atmosphere. But it helped brighten the mood.

Elizaveta had known you for a while. She knows why you are so stubborn and mean. So seeing you happily talking about your passion with another man...she was relieved...Although, she wished it was with someone else and not that French Bastard.

It was a strange feeling...You were in such a deep conversation and were... disappointed when you got to your destination.

Francis signed papers, got a retail car, and paid for their service.

The rental car pulled up and the 4 of you helped Francis move stuff from his car to the rental.

"Okay! Zhat is all of it. Merci. [Thank you] I will see you back at 'ome!"

Something inside you felt displeased at that thought. Francis helped you so much on your project...It was a pleasant conversation...That's all.

"Wait! Can I drive with you?!" You ran towards him clutching your tablet and books to your chest. You looked up at him with doe eyes. "I-I, I~ need help with this project. You see, it's due in 6 days and you can help me get it done earlier. I could totally impress my boss and get that promotion. Pleeease, help meee."

In your mind, 'It is strictly business! You just want that promotion (Y/N). You're just asking for his help and you do not have any interest in him! No matter how fairytale handsome he is. No! Don't think like that! He is still a playboy and you are not going to fall for a man like that!'

Elsewhere in Francis's mind. He was a little upset. Now you want to be all sweet and nice to him because you need something! The nerve of you! You will not use him just for your own benefit!

...Yet

Regardless of the way you treated him in the past, (Which by the way was literally earlier today and nearly everyday in the past before than), he couldn't say no to your doe eyes...and it was nice talking to you and seeing your cute expressions when talking about your passion.

He wanted to see more.

Not that he has feelings for you! It's due to his French nature! A man must never leave a damsel in distress when she is asking for help.

"...Oui. You may. I do 'ave an amazing sense of style and taste when it comes to making zhings beautiful! Afterall, I myself, am beautiful."

You rolled your eyes at the last statement.

"HUH!?!?!? Vait a minute why do you suddenly vant to go vith zhis Perverz! [Pervert] Plus, I don't vant to drive an hour all alone!" Elizaveta huffed.

"I-It's strictly for business! He...has good ideas. Aaand If you're worried about driving alone...Matthew can go with you!" You pointed at him.

"Who?" She turned around. "A francba! I forgot you were there!"

"I figured...At least (Y/N) remembered me..."

"Are you okay with that Matthew?" You asked politely.

"Yeah. I don't mind." He decided to do you this favor since you didn't forget him.

So it was settled. You split into two groups and drove home.

A lot changed during the drive between both groups.

Elizaveta felt bad about forgetting about Matthew so she got to know him.

Matthew is now under the protection of Elizabeta and if anyone dares forget him or make fun of him, they will die.

Elsewhere, you and Francis worked on the project. Then, the conversation drifted abroad...and something just clicked between you too.

You started talking about your likes, dislikes, why you chose the career you did, etc. You two realized you had a lot in common and got to know each other better.

The drive only felt like it was a few minutes. You...had a good time with him.

You could even say you became friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next 5 days, you and Francis worked on the Project to make it flawless.

You learned even more about each other and soon he realized why you acted the way you did. Men had hurt you so badly that you built up your guard.

He wanted to protect you. He didn't want to see you hurt anymore.

He even told you some of his troubles.

Yes, within 5 days he gained your trust.

5 days might not seem like a lot, but love doesn't have a timeline.

It comes whenever it want to.

And cupid really struck your hearts at that perfect moment.

You were drawing up some ideas and you had the perfect one. You, super animated, scurried over to Francis before you slipped on a piece of paper on the floor and braces yourself.

Instead of hitting the ground, you felt a pair of strong arms around your waist. You opened your eyes and locked on to Francis. He held you in a dip pose and your faces were close together.

How could you deny it any longer? Within 5 days, you'd fallen in love with someone who loves your sister.

Oy vey...This...is not good.

You see there's a major problem with falling in love with that French man.

Not only is he a flirt and a playboy, but he is the type of man you tried to avoid to fall for.

Do you have any idea the pain that stabs your chest whenever you see someone you love flirt with someone else?

And it wasn't just your sister! It was other girls! Every girl except you!!!

You dug yourself into your work to try and ignore this feeling. But it grew more and more as you got to know each other.

Then, you gave the plans to Mr. Vicente. He was so impressed by your teamwork that he also hired Francis.

Of course you would put Francis's name as co-creater. You worked together on it and you would never be selfish.

Aaand because of your generosity, you were now stuck with him at work as well...

He'd flirt with your female coworkers.

He didn't flirt with you...Why?!

Is it because of how you treated him before? You had already apologized!

...Who are you kidding. Of course it's for that reason. Things like that can't just be forgotten!

Stupid!!!

And then there was Francis...For a French man who claims he knows everything about love, he's oblivious when It comes to him.

He's a man of love and beauty. Of course he is going to compliment beautiful girls. That's who he is. He knows that other women swoon over him daily, but he is also a faithful man.

Since Jessica moved in he hasn't had any type of courtship with anyone. He may make love to other when single, but he believes in true love. He's never cheat. And he knows that people think that of him. But he will not let it bring him down. He knows who he is.

Besides, he is in love with (Y/ -J-Jessica. He's in love with Jessica...right?

Of course he is! He's only gotten close to (Y/N) a month ago. He is just protective of her because of her past...Yes. That is what it is.

That's why he gets so angry when Mr. Vicente or Richard flirts with you. It's so obvious. He works very closely with you whenever he can.

...Getting close to you, barely touching shoulders or hands.

Doing everything he can to make you laugh...To hear that enchanting laughter.

Complimenting you just to make you blush and smile. Which is so cute.

...He doesn't trust that man.

And he had reason to hate him even more when he asked you out on a date.

"Ooh lala!~ Where are you going dressed up all nice?" Your sister whistled when you walked down the stairs.

You were stunning. (F/C) dress, (gold/silver) jewelry to compliment it, and your hair styled in a way that made his heart burst.

Even the other men couldn't help but admire the beauty she was. His stomach knotted up.

"I'm going on a date." Francis's heart dropped into his stomach.

"That poor~a fool."

"I will kill you!!! Shut up Lovino!!!' She chucked the cat figurine that was on the shelf at him.

"Ow!!! Now~a listen her-" Just as he stood up, Jessica pulled him down.

"Now. Now let's now fight. (Y/N). It is very rude to throw things at people. And Lovino that was a very hurtful comment. Both of you apologize right. Now."

"I'm sorry..."

"Mi dispiace..."

Francis sat there clutching his pants and getting his teeth.

'What is zhis...zhis awful feeling?'

It was all he could think about. He didn't like it.

He was so lost in his mind that when he snapped back into reality, you were already out the door.

"S'il vous plaît excusez-moi. (Please excuse me)" He had stood up so quickly that even England was concerned.

"Frankie? What's wrong?" Jessica paused the movie.

He didn't respond because the next thing he knew, his hand was on your shoulder. You jumped from fright.

"F-Francis! What do you think you're- why do you look so angry?!"

"So zhis is the real reason why you needed my 'elp, hmm?"

You blinked in confusion. "Huh? W-What are you talking about?"

"You just used me to impress zhe rich man so 'e'd fall in love with you! Why y-y-you're nozhing but a selfish, inconsiderate, Gold-digger!"

He was suprised and even stepped back when you slapped him across the face.

"Ex-fucking-scuse me!!! First of all, you knew from the beginning that I wanted the promotion! I never said anything about Richard because It wasn't the reason! I did it for my job! Second of all, don't you ever insult me, yell at me, and grab me like that ever again. Who the fuck do you think you are!"

She's right of course. He knew it, yet he couldn't control his anger. He had never been this angry before. Even with Arthur!

Why does his heart hurt so much?

Why was he yelling these things?

What is he even saying?

"Furthermore, I know you are not talking. You! Who claims to he in love with my sister. Yet! You flirts with every woman you see. You! Who has probably been with more women than I can count on all my fingers and toes! Don't you dare shame me for accepting a date from a nice guy who actually makes me feel good about myself! Not like you who makes me feel so insecure! Why is it that you flirt with every woman except me! And you claim you're so in love with my sister. Ugh! I can't believe I fell in love with you! You are just a walking red flag!"

"L-love?" Francis suddenly felt sick.

"You know what. I am sooo glad you showed me your true colors. It only proved that I was right about you from the beginning. A perverted fuckboy who doesn't care that he's constantly breaking hearts for his own satisfaction."

Ouch. That hurt.

"Now move. I'm going to be late for my date." You pushed him out if the way, got in your car and drove off fighting back tears.

Francis just stood there in shock. "She...loves moi?"

"What is the matter with you! Aren't you going to go after her?!?!?!" Jessica stormed up him. "Well? Say something!" She and the others had listened to the entire fight and Jesssica was furious.

He didn't respond even when Matthew came to check up on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this brings us to where we are now as he drowns his sorrows with wine.

The sun had already set with how long he sat there.

What a fool he was to not see it.

He placed his face in his hands in aggravation.

What was he going to do now?

#hetalia x reader #hetalia #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia oc #hetalia fandom #france x reader #france #francis bonnefoy x reader #francis bonnefoy

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serenity-songbird · 9 months

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hey you are a very great writer. I wanna be just like you someday! :D

Awww!!! Thank you!! You're so sweet!!!

Buuut, I don't want you to be like me.

I want you to be BETTER than me.

Push those limits, hun!!!

And strive to be the best!!!

I believe in you!!!

(And if you ever decide to write something, you can totally send it to me and I will read it happily and proudly).

#proud writer #lots of love #be encouraged #you can do this #i love you

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serenity-songbird · 9 months

Note

JUst here to remind to always take care of yourself. eat well, sleep well, take some vitamins, etc. have a good day!

I just wanna tell you guys how grateful I am for you. I haven't been on Tumblr for quite a while and I finally decided to check on it again.

Reading all of these messages brought happy tears to my eyes.

Not only that but I have 720 followers!?!?!?

What!?!?!?

Where'd you all come from???

These are literally my reactions!!!

Thank you so much for your support, love, and advice. I'm currently working in the hospital on a Sunday and I was bummed, but reading your messages made my day. I am truly, sincerely grateful. (And I will say that a million times more).

Warning: Sensitive Topics and unloading of emotions.

And I also apologize for such a long hiatus... I'm going to be honest...I haven't been alright.

I feel like I'm falling apart and I'm so anxious to the point when I'm shaking... I try to do my best to get through it, but it is sooo hard. And when I think I'm doing better one day, the next I have a complete meltdown...And it's really discouraging.

I also haven't been eating healthy because I'm in such a sour mood, I don't feel like cooking. I either order fast food or don't eat at all. I started taking prenatal vitamins just so I can get the vital nutrients my body needs.

In order to try and get better, I've turned to God. I've been studying the Bible and going to church. I pray for his help and when my anxiety is really bad, the holy spirit flows through me and gives me peace. Thanks to him, I'm getting through it better.

Now I know religion is a sensitive topic, but please know I'm not trying to flood the pages with Christian propaganda. And regardless of what religion you are, I will not judge you and I still love all of you. Just because we believe in different things, doesn't mean we can't be friends. I just wanted to state a coping mechanism that works for me.

And there is good news too! I've started getting ideas for some of the stories and requests I've seen!!! It's been so long since I've written anything and the fact that I suddenly have ideas means that I'm slowly recovering a bit.

Yay!!! Progress!!!

I might drop a new chapter of the Hetalia multiverse series today and one request.

Stay tuned!!!

#healing #anxeity #depression #coping #getting better #getting stronger #stress eating

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Note

Hey how are you?

I am good. I'm trying to catch up on 30 requests. I've got a little bit of writers block, so I've been writing on request to the other.

Plus, I work at a hospital so my schedule is always busy. 😫😫😫

I've gotten some inspiration from shows, movies, real life scenarios, etc.

Plus, my editor can no longer precheck my stories so I have to rely on word to spell check and fix my grammar. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Dyslexia. Am I right?

I'm pushing through it though. 🙃🙃🥹

#writers with dyslexia #writer's block

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

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respectfully....If it's possible that i can meet the people who hurt you, I would've beat their asses without hesitation. idc . YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT! GOOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!

I'd pay to see that fight. 🤣😂🤣

Joking aside, it's really awful how common stories like mine are.

These terrible experiences are shared by many and it's just awful.

😔😔😔

We need to stand tall and show the world, it's not going to beat us no matter how many times we fall.

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Note

I hope this find your in good health. I know trauma is not something you can sleep off and the next day you're better. Everything is gonna be ok. We are here for you! We love you! We are happy that you existed!

I am happy you exist as well!!!

Reading your messages makes me feel loved and supported.

I appreciate y'all so much.

❤️❤️❤️

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Note

Please take your time taking care of yourself! I'm glad you have people who will help you get through this. We will be patiently wait for your return. For now please focus on your recovery

I am one of the lucky ones. Not everyone has somebody to lean on.

I am slowly doing better.

I want you and everyone to know that if you don't have anybody to lean on, I'm always here.

You can shoot me a message and I'll listen.

Thank you for the get well messages.

❤️❤️❤️

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Note

You have been through alot. I'm sorry to hear that but that's ok. we are here for you. Thank you so much for communicating. I wish you the best of luck in everything in your life.

It hasn't been easy, but I'm pushing through.

I wish you the best of luck as well.

Hugs for everyone. ❤️❤️❤️

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Note

hey thank you so much for opening up to us. We are very sorry to hear that. We are glad you have been seeking help. always remember that you are loved by us! WE LOVE YOU!

🥺🥺🥺

I love you all as well.

❤️❤️❤️

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serenity-songbird · 1 year

Text

Howdy!!!

It's been quite a while.

I'm sorry for the sudden disappearance with no communication.

Truth is...I've been through a lot...For so long I have been trying to bury my past...to the point it become too much to Handle.

So...I have decided that I will tell you the story of Serenity Songbird.

It's not just for the sake of my mental health. It is also for the hope that you may read this and learn that sometimes...you have to face your fears if you want the pain to stop.

By the trigger warnings, you will most likely know the issues already.

FYI. You don't have to read. This is mainly for me to get out all my frustrations, fears, and sorrows.

Below contain triggering topics like: Rape, Attempted Suicide, Self Harm, Child Abuse & Neglect, Bullying PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression.

If any of these topics bother you. Stop reading.

This is mainly an Autobiography to lift the load of my chest and aid in my recovery.

Beware. This is going to be long...

My name is Serenity Song.

I have been described by people who me know as:

Creative

Kind

Loving

Loyal

Weird (But in a good way)

Funny

Shy/Timid

Happy-Go-lucky

Talented

And definitely a doormat..

I grew up in the suburbs. Nice neighborhood. Great neighbors and long time friends. I have 2 parents who love me and 2 brothers who, definitely could be annoying at times, but of course we loved each other in our own sibling way.

For the first 12 years..I was happy. Sure it had it's ups and downs with my parents having arguments every other day. Being punished and beat for the stupid things we all do as children.

It wasn't so bad...Except for the fact that I was constantly bullied and told how much of an ugly freak I was. So I definitely didn't have self esteem back then.

But I managed to endure it...After all...

Kids are cruel and if you are being bullied, it's your fault. So. Just. Be. Normal. "It's not a big deal."

...

*Well...there's trauma number 1.*

Because bullying is never okay. It shouldn't be normalized. And yes. It. Is. Traumatic. And it is NOT. Your. Fault.

Then, I turned 13 close to the end of my 8th year in middle school. The bullying stopped. I was so happy. Not only that but was I going to be a high schooler schooler soon! And I was to go into it with a boyfriend!

**Introducing trauma number 2.**

I was excited......But I couldn't enjoy it for long because my life went down into flames.

My very first boyfriend left me for my best friend. He broke up with me over text...on Christmas Eve...the day. Before. My. Birthday.

I found out after winter break. My friends, who were hesitant to tell me, said they were dating.

I felt so insecure and hurt that I confessed not to one but 2 of my closest friends. Not out of love, but desperation. But I didn't know that at the time.

That hurt. He not only got over me so easily, but I found out she confessed to him after we started dating and got together immediately after breaking up. Yet, because of the fact that I had very few friends to begin with, I didn't say anything. I just smiled and congratulated them. Because we are Best Friends...

Yeah right.

The first one, lasted two weeks. I just realized I didn't have feeling for him. We stayed friends, but I felt like a piece of shit.

The second one, lasted two and a half years. It was the biggest mistake I ever made.

Long story short...At 13 years old, I was raped by the boy I thought I loved. And despite the pain and fear, he manipulated me into thinking I wanted it. I didn't. But his snake-like whisper echoed in my mind...

"You are my girlfriend. That means you HAVE TO have sex with me. That's what girlfriends do. Now get dressed. My mom will be here soon."

***Trauma number 3.***

And he left without another word. And it happened again and again...to the point where I felt numb.

He didn't just abuse me sexually, but emotionally. He would constantly belittle me, ridicule me, and he separated me from my friends.

My friends tried to tell me something wasn't right with him...I didn't listen because I thought that I was in love...

How wrong I was...

And if that wasn't enough...at the exact same time, my Mami cheated on my Papi with 5 men. And he moved out to live with my Titi (aunt) until he could get his life back together.

I didn't know at the time what she did, I only found out months later. All I knew was that they got into a fight and got divorced.

******And so trauma number 4, 5, & 6 begin.******

He gave the house...and us....to my mother. Because he loved her and he didn't want to suddenly uproot the lives of his children and take them away from friends...

I wish he took us with him. I'd rather move to a whole other city than to endure the things my mother did to us...And what my boyfriend did to me.

Now...Don't get me wrong. Unlike some divorces, my Papi didn't completely abandon us. He'd visit. We'd sleep over at his temporary home every 2 weeks. We spent holidays and birthdays together still. And he didn't show any negative emotion towards my mother for our sake.

But I knew he was hurting. No matter how hard he tried to hide it.

The problem with my Mami was...she was in a deep depression. She had tried to kill herself. She would lay on her bed crying for hours while my 10 year old brother and I could hear from downstairs.

Then she started leaving us alone.

Everyday she went out to party and got drunk with friends. She would bring strange men home and we could hear them having sex. Which was gross. 🤢🤢🤢

Who the hell were these men?

It got so bad, I told my brother to lock the door everytime he was in there. Unfortunately, my lock didn't work, so I hid a knife under my bed for protection.

Then she would leave for days on end. Never came home. Which means she never went grocery shopping.

My brother and I scavenged for food...But we ran low.

I was now the caretaker of my brother. I bought his food with my birthday money. I did our laundry. I would take him outside with me to play games when my mother was...doing her business. Covered his ears. Said it was okay.

There was this one day that has haunted me for years...it still does.

One day, I went to check up on her. I didn't know what to say or do to make her feel better. How could I? I was just a kid.

"It's YOUR FAULT I am feeling like this. You're my daughter so you have to make me feel better. You're so WORTHLESS. You father is gone because you didn't stop him from leaving."

Worthless? MY fault?

Ever since then...I feel like every problem I encounter IS my fault. Even when it clearly isn't.

At the time I was afraid to tell my Papi..If I said anything Mami would go to jail. They'll take me and my younger brother away. I wished that my older brother didn't go to the army so he could help. He always know what to do. But we didn't have him at the time.

I wish I told my Papi...If I did...I wouldn't be so...messed up.

Then Mami invited a stranger into the house, but this time...he didn't leave. After 6 months of weeping and the finalized divorce papers, my Mami got engaged and married to one of the men she cheated on my Papi with...

I hated them.

I resented them.

Even know...I still can't get over this resentment for all the things that women put us through.

...

But when she married my Step-dad, things got better...

Mami was happy again. And Papi got an apartment and was in a happy relationship. (Though they didn't get married right away like my Mami did. And it took a lot more time for him to move on).

He cooked. He cleaned. He...took care of us and never layed a hand on us. He made us laugh.

At the time, I was quite the poet and singer. He'd listen to all my songs and poems. He was kind and involved himself in our lives and after school activities.

Eventually, I grew to love my Step-dad and now I have 2 Papi's and 2 Mami's. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

And then...my boyfriend's mother found out about what me and him were doing behind closed doors and told my parents.

We got in trouble. Grounded for the entire summer and not allowed to see each other. I got yelled at...I blamed myself. It was MY FAULT. I DESERVE THIS.

I told them it was consented. I defended him. Because I loved him.

My step dad marched into his house to yell at him...

That was embarrassing...Especially when he yelled, "HOW DARE YOU F*** MY DAUGHTER IN THE ***!"

I was mortified. He shouldn't have said that.

(I didn't tell them about the abuse until I was 21. I could see the regret, anger, and concern in their eyes...My mom had to hold my step-dad from hurting him...)

I was severely depressed over the summer. My mom gave me her antidepressants to help...I nearly overdosed because she didn't know that while the dosage was perfect for her, it was too much for me. My step-dad was pissed when he found out. She didn't give them to me anymore.

After the summer break, we saw each other again...And we were still together... But he was different...Crueler...Meaner.

Yet...I stayed. Because I loved him.

I was now constantly anxious that I did something wrong. I started to cut my arms. I tried to kill myself with a scarf only to fail.

"I've changed."

His abuse got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. We broke up.

Then got back together a week later after he manipulated me.

He didn't.

I didn't last long. I officially broke up with my abusive boyfriend forever.

I was finally free.

I should be happy...

"Why am I not happy?"

In order to be happy. I had to forget. I'm not suffering anymore.

Just. Forget. About. It.

So I dug down to the deepest, darkest place in my head.

I covered it.

I chained it.

I locked it up and threw away the key.

As the years went by I suffered more bad luck.

From one toxic relationship to the other.

*I lost count of the trauma I endured.*

I was desperate for love. I wanted to feel like my body was mine and nobody else's. So I had to prove it by doing, what I convinced myself, I wanted.

More painful memories were added to the pile...

But soon...there was no more room.

And the past started to leak out.

I woke up, sweating and choking on air. Trying to control my breathing, but my chest felt like it was constricted.

Memories I tried to forget flashed into my mind.

I started to see things...hear things. But nothing was there.

There were moments where I was no longer in my house, but back in my childhood home relieving my worst nightmares.

Than one day...I snapped.

Just 2 months ago, I nearly drove my car off a bridge.

That's when I knew I needed help...Not just for my sake, but my husband's.

I didn't even realize what I was doing until my car hit the curb making the car jump. I snapped out of it and swerved.

I rushed home and I cover the entire top half of my arms with razor scratches and watched the blood drip down into the sink.

I just can't live like this anymore...

Then my husband saw my arms and he cried for me and held me close.

Truthfully, if it wasn't for him...I would have done it. I would not be here now if it wasn't for his support and love for the past 3 and a half years we've been together.

I was admitted into the hospital with constant supervision.

I was diagnosed with PTSD...

Not only that but my body suffers from illness as well. From my brain, to my heart, lungs, liver, immune system, and GI system. All due to weight gain and unhealthy lifestyle from my eating disorder.

It sucks...It really really sucks. I am so fortunate to be blessed with a loving and supportive family as well as an understanding boss and coworkers. Not a lot of people can say that.

I'm still recovering, but I've started seeing Doctors for all my issues. I see my therapist and psychiatrist regularly. The meds help a lot as well.

I'm recovering slowly. But I know it's going to take a long time before I can say that I'm healed. Could be years for all I know. But I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm trying to help myself.

Thank you all for the messages to check up on me and your kind words of encouragement. I am thankful to have understanding and caring followers. I love each and everyone of you.

If y'all ever need an ear to listen to listen and a shoulder to cry on. You can always shoot me a message.

I'm here for you.

And thank you for reading.

~Here's your daily dose of love~

😘😘😘

#triggering themes

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