no, just super seriously right now, for those of you who struggle with negative self-talk: how do you make it stop? is there some kind of thing you can do that shuts it down? is there an exercise like those we do when we have anxiety/panic attacks? do you have a way to ignore it? or do you just let it consume you like i do
but i would really like to try and make it stop, i would honestly love some answers
6 notes
·
View notes
there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
32K notes
·
View notes
can i just say how much i adore how Nao-chan's gender is treated so casually in skip to loafer
like, as a white cis woman who is also quite tall and havent read the manga i didnt even realize she was trans until this scene in ep2:
and i didnt even have the time to get nervous how they would handle this as they already moved on, ignoring the comments (just like queer people learn to do so) except for Mitsumi's comforting touch (implying she also heard the comments):
and there were no sad words or anything about this either, it was just handled so.... normally. which should not be something worth highlighting, but, well, you know. also on that note, special shoutout to P.A. Works for casting a woman as her voice actor as well.
she's shown being the supportive and lively aunt and like seconds later in this scene she's back to being her usual self again:
in conclusion
7K notes
·
View notes
Ok consider:
A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.
Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.
But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.
They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.
(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)
Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.
When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!
Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol
165 notes
·
View notes
TNG episode where the ship is taking a bunch of different doctors and scientists to an important medical conference and Worf ends up developing a crush on one of the Vulcan doctors and they get along really well. They both seem lonely and their interactions are sweet.
At the same time Worf is trying to beat an unknown opponent at a subspace strategy game which is circulating amongst all the security teams Starfleet-wide (Worf is very good at the game and so is equal parts frustrated and thrilled by this opponent's skill) and during one of their conversations/outings the Vulcan doctor points out a flaw in Worf's opponent's game which he never would have noticed on his own. This doesn't allow him to win necessarily but it does keep them from constantly stalemating one another.
The end of the episode has Worf nearly confess to the doctor as they finally reach the conference, but it turns out her husband is waiting for her. Her husband is Tuvok and he was ALSO the opponent which Worf was fighting tooth and nail (on two different fronts?). Tuvok and Worf are both shocked by this and suspicious of one another. Was Worf seducing his wife as a tactic? Was Tuvok using his wife to lower Worf's guard? Doctor T'Pel seems amused, undercutting the tension. Gentlemen, it's only a game. (Both men remember it is indeed only a game and appear sheepish) She wishes Worf well and then gets on the transport, informing the room that her stay on the Enterprise was indeed quite enjoyable. Tuvok & Worf agree to continue playing that game until there is a decisive winner.
73 notes
·
View notes
I'm sure you're very busy so feel free to ignore this
but a little help on how to draw faces at different angles? 😭
I love your art and have a nice day!
i feel like i work best by picking out certain features that i find hard to place (namely, the nose and ears) and drawing those first. thinking of the angle and how especially the nose interacts can help with making the face shape seem more natural to me!!
this is something i struggle with. a lot though 😭 i am a big fan of the phrase great artists steal !!! i will look at a bunch of other artwork and steal the way they draw faces all the time, especially for doodles and to like test out different styles/incorporate them with mine. after a while you get used to understanding how certain angles look and can draw them easier without having to look at a ref. highly recommend learning by looking at other artists :) honestly, if it helps, feel free to use my art if you want, i dont mind
58 notes
·
View notes
Yooooo so cool you guys are doing this! Say Kieran, any fun strategies you can think of? Im impartial to a good gimmick strategy and been trying to find a way to get what I dub 'the immortal sheninja'. any ideas?
Oh! It also depends on the battle style you're doing too! You could probably get really creative if you were planning to employ this in a double or triple battle! I just assumed you were talking about singles!
- Kieran
35 notes
·
View notes
Yes, yes i know Mako's a detective but I love the idea that he cannot, for the life of him, tell Wing and Wei apart.
Which was all fine and dandy when they were just his boss' nephews from out of town.
Much less so when Bolin and Wei fall for each other and Bolin is waxing poetic about Wei and Mako is just there like: so is it the one on the right or the left.
What's worse is that Korra is used to twin shenanigans, since Eska and Desna were like her only peers when she was a child and you know she would mock him relentlessly for it.
He gets up the energy to give Wei a 'hey, i know we don't know each other very well, but you make my brother happy, so thank you' speech only to be interrupted halfway through because he was talking to Wing.
Years into the future when Wei and Bolin have kids (you know they would) Mako hands his niece back to her father only to be informed that the person he handed her to was in fact uncle Wing.
57 notes
·
View notes