#so i need a tiny distraction
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so, among other things, i went to a BookFest yesterday, and while i didn't splurge like i normally would, i did buy the following books:
and honestly, i don't know if i wanna start the Crooked Saints one first, or the Witcher ones (especially since i flipped through one of them and saw that Jaskier's name is actually Jaskier, and not Dandelion like in the English version)
so yeah, anyway, i have important decisions to make 😅
#the witcher#All the Crooked Saints#Maggie Stifvater#Fangirl#Rainbow Rowell#by moi#please don't mind me#because i made poor footwear decisions yesterday#and now i am regreting my life choices#so i need a tiny distraction#so yeah
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Behold! An enormous snugglebeast.
It has cookie flavoured lipbalm on its head now.
#Today I gave Big Baby Rosie and my Tiny Baby Belle a ham bone each and they have been having the time of their lives#I think baby belle dribbled all over herself tho so she is gonna need a bath after that.#It allowed my sister to pack up her car and leave though. So it worked as a good distraction. The house seems so quiet now#The holiday season is very much over now. I have so much cleaning to do holy shit#I am very in pain but I do feel incredibly loved. My fluffy babies look after me so well#dogs are better than people#fluffy baby
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A few more “canon” designs, a few more new ones (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#A quick distraction-foray into a Winx style since I'd gotten the Enchantix itch for a second haha#Other than making her wings doubled I really didn't know how to make her Classic design more Winx-like lol#I was going more for the first transformation rather than Enchantix and I mean - Techna is covered from head to toe so it's not Out of style#I am unabashedly biased towards her Classic design lol ♪#Not having a fixed design for her TVAU outfit did at least encourage me to try Something a bit different for an Evil Enchantix at least#(Gods now I'm just imagining Dark Bloom Enchantic?? Yo - thankfully some artists have given their interpretations :D)#Anyway tho lol - the bottom half of her design seems to be what always trips me up#At least for Enchantix there's kind of the excuse that she needs the fairy vine-shoes thing - she normally wears regular shoes haha#All that said I think the Winx style doesn't completely suit her anyhow :0 She's not really meant to have such stylistic curves haha#All the more reason to return to WOY! It's fun :D#Two semi-canon outfits - the first one much moreso than the second since that's her self-designed TVAU outfit!#To be fair Kaiein rejected that one and not me lol probably on account of the cape muddling her silhouette#No Capes! No matter how cute she looks in them haha#And then the second (especially happy with her expression on that one hehe :3c Watch out) being from when she cornered Cherry Shortcake!#I was incredibly correct about her wings at that point - I think both versions having their own appearances is very good#Denoting influence and emotions and points of time - kind of like her wings and Evil Time in Classic!#The Staff looks so tiny in this style as well haha ♪#And then the last three! More rejects but mostly just done for funsies anyway haha#I still prefer Charm in more fantasty-adjacent fashion but she's cute no matter what so a bit of semi-modern is fine every once in a while#Spooky mask leaves some mystery and fear of the unknown lol#More ink themes - it suffers from the same problem as her drip-modified outfit just not a strong silhouette! I think it's a neat pose tho#And finally trying to find something that would work well with the wings - they can appear pretty much anywhere on her back so#It can be kinda hard to have a definitive ''No matter where they sprout from this look won't clash''#A loose top with a tube top underneath is cute tho :) Might be willing to give a slightly more thematic version pulled into the JD style#And so help me I will find a proper top-hem style for her pants! Gosh!
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hi peeps howdy hello
#i'm alive!#sorta#actually feeling a tiny bit sick right now but pff#and uh#the family thing.. it will be okay#it's gonna be fine#tuesday was tough but we got each other#said goodbye together and now all we can do is move on and remember#gonna spend lots of time at grandma's with my sibs and cousins#it'll be alright#ANYWAYS i gotta finish something first THEN imma do the catching up crusade#still in a huge need for a distraction so yeah be prepared#random squeak
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Obligatory but no less meaningful honesty hour ask: what is one pretty cool thing that's happened today in your life?
I managed to remember the magic-circle start for the new crochet project (a dice bag for my cousin who has turned out to be a DnD nerd to my absolute delight) and figure out the amount of stitches I need to increase by in each new round.
which.. is all stuff I've known before, and done a bunch of times, it's just been over a year since I last seriously worked on anything crochet related, so getting back into it and figuring out some vague idea of a pattern that might work for a two-layer bag with scale stitches on the outside layer.
crochet in the round requires a forever-surprisingly high and tiring amount of math to figure out how many stitches you need for those and where to place them etc etc etc, so getting this right on my first attempt in a long while has been a real good feeling
#ask meme thingie#(kinda)#the thing with the two layers is - I want the scale stitch bc it's cute but the back side has huge holes so the tiny dice would fall throug#therefore I need to have an inside part that has smaller gaps for which single crochet stitches work really well#I originally thought I might make two pieces and sew them together but then it occured to me that I could just do it as one piece#so now I'm motivated. plus it's a good distraction from all the frustration and the stupidity at work as well as the anxiety#ALSO it makes me thing of Laudna and her crafting and how much I love and adore her and relate to her (creaking joints and all)#ANYWAY it has been far too long since I've been able to take the time to MAKE something with my hands and I am thriving#(..in before I lose count and have to redo the entire row ten times bc I'm shit at keeping track of repeating numbers in my head)#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! <3
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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No real thoughts on the new salmon run stage except for that its at least Decent; marooners bay continues to be the worst salmon run map ever yippee
#chattin#actually i do have thoughts but i need to get to a higher hazard level to really see how good or bad it is#its easy to juke salmonids but its very Big and Wide#so multiple stingers and flyfish coordinating on different shorelines is Hell#the ink trails are janky if ur not used to them but theyre VERY good. it gives u lots of height when jumping so u can get on top of ufos#pathing seems to be a little mean sometimes; i was running away from a scrapper#and jumped to the center basket area#and then fell down maybe 4 seconds later and it was STILL there and i died#so far alot of my deaths are just falling into a swarm below bc theyre not pathing correctly#uhh#flyfish sticks arent really a threat; they like to go in the water and next to elevated spots but im sure it would be hell w inkbrush#i have NOT gotten glowflies or grillers but this map is evil#im sure youll need to use the inktrails to avoid them#ALSO cohock charge is mean bc the cannons are centered; not placed in the back#so my strategy of ‘stay by the shore to distract maws from cannon friends’ doesnt work. bc ur surrounded#but like so far the map seems nice :) lots of ways to juke salmonids and lure bosses#the sheer amount of tiny ledges makes it really nice#like i said; ive only died to falling in a swarm i didnt think was there#but otherwise its a breeze getting to and from the shore and juggling eggs#well see what happens when i get bad weapons#OH YEAH. the douse dualies are insane#decent damage and GREAT range#like dualie squelchers on crack#and the dapple dualie fire rate after a roll is incredible#OH I LIED. i have died in other ways. specifically by misjudging how FAR the dodge roll takes u#i fell into water like 4 times bc of it 😭
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mum said to ask for money if i need it until either:
-the university gives me more hours (doubtful considering my coworkers and i cant currently get anyone to confirm that we're still polling AT ALL this month, aka if we don't, then we have NO WORK and NO PAY all month)
or
-another job hires me asap (or even just starts interviewing me pls pls pls someone interview me!!!)
and im in overdraft. i have to ask. and i texted and did and let her know if i DO get another uni paycheck and they actually have us work this month that i will sock even a couple dollars of it away to send back to her to try and pay her back (i have so many ppl to pay back and i CAN'T rn and im. Hating every second of this that i cannot just immediately pay everyone back bc if i could i would and I'd feel so much better and i fucking CAN'T and aggfhhhhhhh)
i know things are better than they were in other ways but if the job and financial things could start working out better for me, if the job searching and applying daily could pls pay off a little just. pls. i feel like the biggest piece of shit ever owing multiple ppl money and then still being In The Shit enough to need to borrow more. I wasn't raised to do this or to ever need this help and now i can't seem to dig myself out of it and i Hate This So Much
#text post#sorry for the vent post just. gotta get that out#in good new i got my izzy hands bingo card and im excited to start creating!!!!#a good distraction so i don't worry abt money every waking moment of the day#the few things i bought were needed like food and the dye and some tools for my other lil income stream#the last of which is already paying off a tiny bit but it's Tiny like cents from the ads on my page and just#...maybe time to go to the card as distraction huh
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tw eating disorder talk, pt.2 to the last post in the tags (once again, no mention of numbers that could be triggering, just a heartfelt rant bc I've been so afraid of talking about these things on here, but i really just need to get everything out bc . I feel crazy)
#so basically it was bad. this past summer the relapse was so sugarcoated in the sense that#i was telling myself it was fine. it didn't look the same as it did at my very worst#it didn't even feel the same#but it wasn't fulfilling either. it was stressful. it was exhausting. i was using my anorexia as a way to distract from having depression#i needed to feel a sense of achievement and i got it! but at the cost of my physical health#and my mental health was all over the place like less depressed sure. but way more anxious#it was weird. because even now i have to tell myself it wasn't okay. it wasn't fine. it's not worth it it's not WORTH IT#part of me keeps romanticizing it bc i was so in control and i was still working a little and still functioning in a socially acceptable way#but i know how much anxiety it gave me on a daily basis. only i know how my body ached and how low i felt from my immunity going to shit#only I know what it's like to have horrible circulation and constant weakness#no one else will live my life for me#I'm sure there are people who can live the way i was. im sure there are people who thrive like that#but they only thrive for a short time before it all comes crashing fown#and it's not worth the comparison bc when im suffering theyre not going to help me out!!!!!#when im struggling with the weight of it all. the people that promote tiny little portions and academic excellence with no room for#self compassion#they're not going to nurse me back to health#i won't feel a sustained sense of satisfaction from restricting and studying until i pass out from exhaustion. I've done that before#perfectionism is a parasite and this is a disease. it's a fucking mental illness and it's not even about vanity for me like thats just a#fraction of it#anyway#z.post
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I was watching the episode outside on my phone while drinking coffee which I do highly recommend as a watching tactic, but had to go inside specifically to say GO ASHTON PUNCH TRESHI SOME MORE
#critical role spoilers#also traffic is loud or some shit and it was getting distracting#anyway. I need a tiny shitty bistro table so I can bring out my laptop without fearing it will fall and be crushed
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Two kinds of people want a ghost in their McMansion; Or, The Cultivation Gig Economy AU (Lesbian Wangxian 2/?)
[1/?]
“Well, that’s embarrassing. I swear it does work.”
“I know. Wei Ying made the compass. It works. There is a ghost.”
The compass keeps spinning and spinning, which has never happened after she left Burial Mounds. The air turns cold, shadows seem deeper, and something, something is rushing towards them. This is not one of Wei Ying’s little lawbreaking rituals; this thing, whatever it is, out of control, inexorable, desperate.
The lights flicker, and Wei Ying is sure whatever is coming for them will run them over any second now. If only she could see it down the corridor, she could maybe pull out a sigil, play a few notes, throw a shoe at it. But she can only feel it get closer and closer, until a gust of icy air fraps her, cold enough to press on her lungs.
Wei Ying shuts her eyes tight and waits to have something very, very bad happen to her.
And yet, seconds pass by, her compass stills, and there she is: alive, unharmed. Good.
“It’s gone” says Lan Zhan, who – oh – is also still there.
“Yes. Yes, I think it is. There definitely was something, though.”
Wei Ying touches the wall to find it almost freezing, and follows the feeling down the corridor, until it splits in opposite directions. She feels both the left and right corners. Left is colder. “I think it went that way.”
Lan Zhan solemnly nods.
They wander around for a bit, keeping one hand on the wall and checking Wei Ying’s compass, drawing little charcoal sigils here and there. They have to hurry a bit; soon the wallpaper will warm up to room temperature and the trail will be lost, but even so, now that it’s just the two of them, breathing in the faint smell of expensive wood cleaner, Wei Ying feels almost peaceful.
Lan Zhan mns and and nods along with her observations, she steps quietly and she condescends to exert her considerable arm strength to move an old cabinet, which is an absolutely necessary thing to do that Wei Ying asks for because she is a professional who needs this heavy piece of furniture moved for professional reasons, professionally.
And Lan Zhan is warmer than she was in high school. Not that anything’s gonna come of it.
Even now that her own tangle of conflicted teenage feelings has unspooled into a number of glorious possibilities, Wei Ying knows that Lan Zhan is not really an option. If - if! - Lan Zhan is into anyone at all, which seems dubious, she’s very evidently not into Wei Ying, for whatever reason.
They can still be friends, though. This would probably be better achieved by not aggressively teasing Lan Zhan, but what is Wei Ying gonna do, stay quiet?
It’s an old game that makes Wei Ying feel almost nostalgic. This is how the script goes:
WEI YING
Wow, you’re so strong Lan Zhan!
[She bats her eyelashes]
Carry me?
[LAN ZHAN ravishes her.]
[LAN ZHAN takes a step away from her, gets a little red in the face.]
LAN ZHAN
Shameless!
[WEI YING has a good laugh about it and hits the showers.]
It’s been her favourite sport since she was fifteen.
So, here goes.
Wei Ying says:
“Wow, you’re so strong Lan Zhan! Carry me?”
Wordlessly, Lan Zhan holds out her arms in invitation.
And wow. She wants to freak out, she wants to throw herself at Lan Zhan, but mostly she wants to slow-clap, because wow. After all these years, Lan Zhan has finally learned to call her bluff.
Lan Zhan’s impeccable white shirt looks like it would be soft to nuzzle against and Wei Ying has never lost a game of chicken. But, she’s on the clock.
Together they figure out that the ghostly presence, whatever it is, climbed the stairs to the master floor… but by the time they get there, they've lost the track.
“What I don’t understand is how my compass could pick up such strong energy without us being harmed - without us seeing anything, even.”
“Some ghosts have an energy strong enough to be felt through walls.”
“But if it wasn’t in the corridor with us, where was it?”
Lan Zhan frowns exactly the way she did back in high school when she got anything less than a perfect score, which is delightful.
Wei Ying wishes she could enjoy it for a bit longer — maybe take a picture to keep in her wallet – but Lan Zhan decides it’s time for her to be good at her job instead.
“We should ask some questions.”
Huh. We.
“I don’t know how long the Jin expect me to stay in their home.”
I don’t know if they’re willing to pay overtime. Lan Zhan nods, all pensive, and then says:
“It will be no problem. My brother knows Jin Guangyao well.”
#i know it's been months but i needed the distraction so there#another tiny bit of wangxian#wangxian fic#the cultivation gig economy AU#wangxian#it's a bit rushed but i didn't wanna save paragraphs for later
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so random ppl can't get in the building, people who work here get chips that can open the door. BUT not everyone has a chip! for example: me. so guess who had to spend 10 minutes trying to find a way in 😵
#usually I'd text a coworker but I'm the only one from my department who's working rn so I don't have anyone here who could let me in#ANYWAYS I'm in!! not just in the building but also in the room I need to be in#which was even more exhausting bc it's also blocked by doors that you can only open with chips#except for the doors that lead to the stage that we're not supposed to use as to not piss the ppl off who are rehearsing/etc#but um. I walked over the stage bc I couldn't get in any other way <3 they're only doing lights rn they'll be fine with a tiny distraction#doddie redet
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[ID: Lucy is an older teenager with a ginger mullet. She sits at her laptop with a small green dragon. The dragon’s tail is plugged into the computer like a USB. Lucy says “Yess, #women in stem vibes”. End ID.]
Maybe I’ll re-edit this or upload it again with some more lucy doodles but i just really liked this one
#ragnar art#lucy pennykettle#tldc#the last dragon chronicles#youre about to realise im very bad with the dragons names#....guienevere??#little tiny IT dragon#the satnav#the hashedtag woman in stem#OBSESSED with lucy being good with computers and becoming a programmer/developer#she is the most of all time#hope that ids alright i know i rarely do them so let me know if i should edit it#apologies for not usually doing them i get overwhelmed when its more than one image#which is not an excuse i just need to sort myself an easy template or sm#or stop obsessively adding 9 versions of the same thing to one post#which.... yeah lets go for that template 💀#started re-reading the series and got distracted by disco el/ysium going on sale so idk maybe ill make some stuff soon#<- slash to prevent this going in their tag lmao though that would be funny#that said. definitely about to go sink 6 more hours into that game#ill read eventuallllly
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oh boy i had a weird fucking dream last night
#started out with the worst most awkward family lunch on earth like people were just leaving#there was then a brief thing about the queen of england torturing a fish to death in a time loop#i was then in an op shop and found a book version of disco elysium which was titled ''the martinaise case''#when i tried to buy it the storeowner said it would cost $3000 which pissed me off so much i slapped them with a handful of melted butter#and they were so distracted by the butter slap that i could just take the book and leave#also for the record this book was fucking huge and dense as hell it was thicker than les mis and when i flipped through the text was tiny#and the pages were like bible pages they were that thin#anyway i now had butter all over me and the book so i needed to find a bathroom to wash it off#so i went to the room that clover green-cryptid was staying in at some huge 10 storey house nearby#and then didnt even wash my hands in their bathroom cause i got distracted talking to them#my cousin showed up for a bit and then i spent the rest of the dream playing on escalators in the backrooms
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Ember X Skulker.
Your wish has ben granted ✨️
#ember mclain#skulker#ember x skulker#idk their ship name lmao#i might not be able to post as much because my mom decided to put a screen timer on my phone and i just got her to leave it to 2 hours#sad#anyway ember is so cool <33#she looks like the cool older sister everyone wishes they had#and skulkers tiny form is co cute jdjansjam#the size difference#please ask for more stuff to draw#either ships or other stuff#i just need distractions from life and such#thank you <333#hunter's flame#found it lol#shadows latte art™#hashtag ask shadow™#anon ask
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so excited but also scared for voice class. dr g is awesome she was so nice in my audition and made me do better in five minutes than like i'd ever done but i am still sooo scared of somehow getting kicked out for not knowing how to read music really. will this happen no but will i be thinking about it until like our 3rd class at least YES
#trying to just focus on my goal which is like. be a good musical theatre singer do not get distracted by any other bullshit or people being#competitive. also be honest about my skills and knowledge and if i truly need help like ive tried it on my own and cant do it ask for help.#also do not panic in class do not panic in class do not panic in class do not panic in class#it's being held in a tiny old chapel btw though so. epic win#original
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