#so I’m still proud of myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kanekis-centipede · 2 years

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#had a real and scary panic attack after driving yesterday #it s like I feigned confidence and I could drive perfectly fine before but I took a little break without driving and boom #I’m reminded of how fucjing seriously debilitating my anxiety can be #and my sister was yelling at me the whole time #and when I parked she just started lecturing me the entire time of everything I did wrong and I couldn’t stop myself from crying #and then suddenly I couldn’t fucking breathe man it was fucking terrifying #I’m so so so tired of just living in fear man it sucks so bad #why can’t I just be normal why can’t I just not have trauma why can’t I just not have any mental illnesses #why can’t I just live my life without any baggage this fucjing sucks so much #I’m so scared to drive I’m so scared to stand up for myself and explain to her that her yelling isn’t helping me at all #I’m already terrified to drive and I’m teeeified to make mistakes on top of that and it’s just getting yelled at like that after really jusr #confirmed my fears with making mistakes and now I feel like that terrified child again and I’m regressing #and it’s like all these months of uplifting myself can just get fucked by one fuck up? I hate feeling this way and I know I just need more #time to process and reverse the negative thoughts I have of myself #but until I get that time I feel so sucky #I haven’t thought of killing myself in fucjing forever !!!!!!!! and here I am feeling the same way #but I drove man all the way and I parked #so I’m still proud of myself #I cant give up after one fuck up I can’t #but it’s just the pain is real and I feel like if I was anybody else I wouldn’t be having such an overwhelming reaction for making mistakes #while driving or for anything really but I’m me and the child living in me was hurt and punished and abused #and having this level of a fear of making mistakes might’ve been a learned reaction because of the consequences #but I want to comfort her and nurture her and heal her and get out of this survival mode and take criticism with stride #instead of having a breakdown over it #and withdrawing back into myself because that’s where I feel safe

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kyurochurro · 5 months

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LATE FOR CHRISTMAS!! But proud of this nonetheless, here’s my Christmas illustration for this year ft the animaniacs! Hope you’ve all had a wonderful holiday season!! 💫💗🎄

#churro art #my art #digital art #illustration #animaniacs #the animaniacs #yakko wakko and dot #yakko warner #wakko warner #dot warner #AHH i finished this one on iPad and surprisingly #despite the HUGEEE file size it didn’t explode on me!!#but I’m quite proud of this one :D #i say this for everything but even though it’s not as perfect as I wanted it to be but still something I’m very happy with!!#it’s not so much I’m a perfectionist more so I like to always keep my expectations for myself higher and higher each time hehehe #always reach for higher babeyyy!!#ANYWAYS YAH proud of the colors and lights in this!! :D

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bad-science · 4 months

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Everyone loves dark academia and cottagecore and themes of death and decay and being weird and mysterious until I have stray bones in my house and teeth on my shelf. Then I’m too weird for the weirdos. Too spooky for the so-called goths. You bitches can’t handle my bonus teeth

#bones #teeth #evilcore #villaincore #sciencecore #villainposting #dark academia #I’m still not sure why aesthetics are all SomethingCore but the tags work LMAO #I’m being both funny and for real LMAO #folks irl come to my room. after knowing me as a person. after knowing who I am #and are surprised and offput when I have bones and teeth and bugs on proud display!!#points to dead crab I TAXIDERMIED HER MYSELF!!!! APPRECIATE HER #the teeth are sterile!! it’s fine!!#I buried and exhumed this fox with my own hands!! the bones are precious to me!#im never actually offended bc i understand ppl have boundaries #its just funny that i am who i am and they didn’t actually expect me to have so many dead things 😂#📝#anyway this is lighthearted <3

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mi-i-zori · 1 month

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Think and Forget

CoD - Ghost x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS : You never stop thinking about your Lieutenant - until he makes you.

WARNINGS : NSFW - 18+. Smut (with a little bit of context, but barely). MDNI.

Author’s Note : I wanted to practice writing smut without thinking about it too much. I intended it to be longer, but I’ve been stuck on it for more than a week now, so I’ve decided to be done with it. Next time will be better, but I still kinda like this. Hope you do too !

I do not give anyone permission to re-publish, re-use and/or translate my work, be it here or on any other platform.

There is something about him that you never manage to fully figure out.

No matter how hard you try, his eyes remain unreadable. The library of his thoughts is constantly locked, and nobody knows where he hid the key - or if he still has it at all. Your efforts to take a peek through the keyhole have yet to bear any fruit ; a veil of darkness has fallen over his soul, obscuring your view whenever you hold his gaze for too long. Still, you don’t want to give up on deciphering his heart. So you keep on trying, poking at the steel lining his defenses. Many have lost more than a finger in the process of doing so, yet you refuse to let that thought scare you away from him. His very presence is too magnetising for you to ignore.

Curiosity killed the cat, many people like to say, obscuring the second part of the idiom. Changing its whole meaning. You, however, refuse to forget about it, aiming for the satisfaction said to have brought the feline back.

So you try to be as subtle as possible when you let your eyes and thoughts runs over his silhouette during training, analysing his every movement. You pretend to focus on his words whenever he supervises your own exercises, hoping to see an ounce of his mind behind the cold, distant aura he is so intent on maintaining around others. You keep wondering if you will ever be able to see a glimpse of who he really is ; learn about the man standing behind the wall.

You do, sometimes. These moments, however, always take place when he renders you unable to think.

Whenever his hands roam your skin, gripping every curve they fall upon with a desperation you have yet to understand, you find yourself surprised by his tenderness. His fingers seem to reach for your very soul, calluses molding both flesh and bone. Your heart synchronises with his as he holds you to his chest, exploring the expanse of your back all over again. His breath on your shoulder leaves a delicate ache in its wake, and you sometimes wonder how the chills running down your spine keep getting sweeter each time.

Under the light of day, he is nothing more than a machine. A tool made for destruction, cursed with a coldness that never seems to leave him even for a second. Sharp words echo in the minds surrounding him, and icy eyes carve incandescent holes in everything they touch behind the fabric covering his face.

Yet the abyss of his voice softens when the moon rises, highlighting aspects of his soul even he thought ceased to exist eons ago ; a reality he unveils only in front of you.

His touch leaves vicious burns on your skin. He coaxes you to bury your head in the crook of his neck, driking up every trembling breath dripping through your lips as his hands run down your back. A soft grunt echoes in your ear as your teeth sink into his shoulder. A shiver runs down your back, following his fingers as they find your core with ease, and he savours the taste of the whimper you let out the second they enter you.

- Easy, luv’, he says as you instinctively clench around him, the deep rumbling of his voice sending waves of ecstasy straight to your core.

Once again, Lieutenant Riley is impossible to read. Even as you both become one, trembling limbs and erratic breaths intertwined, the only thing you see behind his eyes is an indecipherable storm. A mayhem that seems to be engraved in his very bones, tainting him from the inside out.

- You like bein’ good to me, eh ? Lettin’ me take care of ya ?

You can only nod against his shoulder. Your chest collides with his as you bounce steadily on his length, his hands digging into your thighs to support your effort. He keeps whispering praises into your ear ; low grunts sometimes interrupt his words as you drag your nails down his back and arms, admiring the red streaks they leave on his skin.

Your legs tighten around his waist, allowing your hips to apply even more pressure against his. They roll over and over, dragging both moans and whimpers out of your throat, grunts out of his. His hand suddenly staples itself to the back of your neck - and your eyes flutter as he draws your head back, diving into the curve of your neck to suck violet bruises on your skin.

Mark you as his.

- Such a good pet fo’ me, he mumbles, kissing your pulse.

An animalistic heat is taking over his voice as he plunges his teeth into your collarbone. Pain shoots up your neck and shoulder, raining down the muscles of your arm.

His name is lost in your scream. Pleasure clouds your mind and vision, obscuring the many questions you still had about him right before nightfall. You let him drop you on the bed, once again sealing your hips together before abruptly rutting into you, reaching a well-known, sacred place only he can seem to find. Electricity courses through your core, causing your legs to jerk as they lock behind his back - drawing him even closer to your form. He relishes in the feeling, head dropping to his chest with a low growl.

The sight of him towering over you, broad shoulders heaving and sweat running down the sturdy valley of his chest, causes you to choke on a strangled moan.

His ravaged hand finds leverage on the headboard. The polished wood slams into the wall, following the frantic rhythm of his body slamming into yours. Your teeth tear your lips as you try to bite on a trembling cry, and your Lieutenant leans towards you, his breath ghosting your face through the fabric of his mask. Dark eyes lock onto yours, boring holes into your soul as his fingers keep working harshly on your clit.

- Cum fo’ me.

And as always, these words are enough to send you over the edge.

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mintmentos · 7 months

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Guys I did it I knitted the sock!!

#I’m so pleased with myself #like yes it’s rough you can see the laddering and it’s a bit of a right fit because my tension was off but idc!! I’m so proud of me for #actually making it like I’ve always wanted to but socks gave me The Fear and tbh still kind of do but now I’ve made one!! I’m going to make #at least one more!!!#craft #knitting #knitblr #kiera talks craft

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vulcannic · 2 months

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knitted a sweater vest

#still have to block it but whatever it’s done!#i haven’t knit since like 6th grade #and that was for maybe a month #so #this is the first thing i’ve ever done #be nice #i’m very proud of it #also i know it’s 12:30 am like i said i just knitted a sweater vest #also also i know i haven’t posted a pic of myself in a while so im sorry if this is weird #such is life #i’ll take better pictures after i block it #moi

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tunaricebowl · 9 months

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finally got my pics back from the lil shoot i did at the japanese gardens earlier this month c: i honestly didnt know what other pose to do but other than that i think these look super cool! it’s my very first cosplay as well so i’m still figuring out how to be photographed and stuff

#tbh i don’t like my double chin though #i was considering editing it out but i decided against it. i feel like it would be disrespectful towards myself to do so #i’m still learning how to be phtographed in a way i’m satisfied with & i shouldnt be so hard on myself for not figuring it out immediately #i’m allowed to feel proud of these and want to show these off despite not thinking i look perfect or 100% like the character #though to make myself feel better i do hc maya as a bit chubby. she does love burgerd after all #anyway sappy emotional rant over #tuna stuff #ace attorney #ayasato mayoi #maya fey #ace attuna #gyakuten saiban #cosplay #ace attorney cosplay

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wybienova · 1 year

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did you get your wish?

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts 2 spoilers #wybs art #psychonauts fanart #lucrecia mux #maligula #gaaaaahhh this song is literally so lucy …#i’ve had it bouncing around my brain for like a month at LEAST #and tonight i randomly decided to crank out this lower effort drawing #but like. it’s sick as fuck. this is awesome #or at least i’m proud of it #i shouldn’t talk abt it being good too much bc then i start to go ‘well #and then im mean to myself. no good #BUT i’m still kinda proud #this song does something to me . listen to it youll get me #anyways. going 🚶

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paper-starz · 4 months

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I completely forgot to post this but here’s the background!!

Oh it would be so cool to have a heart-shaped planet. Freaky, but cool!

#digital art #hearts #outer space #90s aesthetic #if you look closely #I put a VHS filter!!#I was going for 90s care bear look #I THINK I NAILED IT #I’m so proud of this piece #ESPECIALLY THE PLANET IN THE BACK #AND THE CLOUDS!#they look so good if I do say so myself #shading is still pretty difficult but I’m getting there!#my poor poor finger tho #ouchies #it’s all wrapped up in a comically large bandage

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the-real-couchrat · 2 months

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Posting some mini art tutorials while I work on some bigger projects.

First we have Darceus Alamastern, created by @toothpastecanyon in Unto Dust

And last (but not least) we have Nxlar the Antithetical, made by @gnomewithalaptop in Transcendence AU dash simulator and also appeared in The Comfort of Agony chapter 8

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laging-interest · 2 months

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Your honor they r so valid in my mind

My friend also called them middle school ocs :’)

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goldkirk · 3 months

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I opened Pinterest for the first time in months.

That made me realize a lot about how bad I was actually doing and how much of a Waffle House Index use of Pinterest is for adult me, apparently.

I hadn’t realized it had grown that foundational to me in a healthy-brain-exercise-and-hobby-joy way. Nice to know moving forward! It’s another sign I can keep track of and use to spot correlation/indicator patterns earlier my behavior.

I love this kind of thing, it makes me so excited!