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nootnootpinguuu · 2 years

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Best Friends? ( Taehyung x Male reader )

Y/N and Taehyung had been Besties since Diapers. What happens when Y/N feels jealous when Taehyung starts dating a girl called Leslie. Find out in this one shot Summary Top Taehyung Bottom Y/N Mentions of slight smut but not that much. A lot of Kissing Fluffy and Angsty

Third Person POV

Panting and running that was what Y/N was doing. Footsteps crushing the branches and dead leaves on the soil. He can hear the panting of someone behind him chasing after hi. Y/N finds a branch that leads to the top of a tree and climbs on it. He reaches the top and stops and looks down to see a black mop of hair down standing without looking up.

Y/N POV

“Where the fuck did you go Y/N” Taehyung said from down.

“Ha bet you can’t catch me loser” I sneered. Taehyung looked up and saw me hanging on a branch. A smirk made up to his face. I gulped knowing my time is over. He jumps on a branch and continues to climb up. I tried to jump but alas I fell on the ground. I tried to get yup but Taehyung jumped from the tree and landed on top of me and caged me in.

He leaned towards my ear and whispered. “Gotcha Baby”.

I giggled and we both got up from the ground and dusted our pants. The sun was slowly setting from the distance.

"I think we should head back home" I said. Tae nodded his head.

"Your home? or Mine?" He asked me .

"Yesterday I was at your home so today mine! Plus my mom said to invite you over while she and dad arent at home" I said.

"Really? they aren't worried we would do something that would end up the house in flames? or worse... have sex?" He told whispering the last part in my ear. I grabbed some mud and splat them at his shirt.

"HEY!?"He yelled.

"Thats for making weird comments about you and me that will never happen" I said

"That was my favorite Gucci shirt!" He pouted.

"You can wash it up at my home" I said. We both went on foot to my house since it was nearby. Soon it was night and by the time we went to my home it was nightfall.

Taehyung was in the bathroom washing up while I was cooking up some food for us to eat. I was mixing the sauce for the Pasta when a ding was heard from Taehyungs phone . I ignored it . The bathroom door opened and out came a shirtless Taehyung in sweatpants and wet hair.

"N/N~ can you wipe my hairrrr`" He whined. I rolled my eyes and I saw his abs were glistening . I gulped and smiled and gestured him to sit on the floor while I sat on the couch to dry his hair. Taehyung's phone kept sending notifications on and on.

"Tae your phone is going crazy" I said and handed him the phone. When he opened it I saw the name "Les" on the screen. I ignored it and Soon Tae's hair was dry.

"Tae you wanna eat?" I asked. Tae didn't even look up from his phone and I felt a little sad.

"Tae do you want pastaa?" I asked again but this time too he didn't reply not even a nod. He was laughing at something on the screen. I sighed and kept the Pasta plate near the coffee table if he needed to eat.

"The Pasta's here you can eat while its warm" I said and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah yeah whatever N/N" He waved about. I felt a pang in my chest. I just smiled weekly. I went to my room with my plate of pasta and ate in silence. Tae didn't even acknowledge me. I felt tears streaming down my eyes but I wiped them quickly. I brushed my teeth and went downstairs to see Tae but was surprised to see him gone.

"Tae? Tae Tae? Taehyung?" I called for his name. I got a notif on my phone and saw that it was Taehyung

Tae :I had to leave cause a thing came up Me :Oh okay

I felt sadness. Tae ditched me for some other matter and he didnt bother to even tell me through his mouth. I locked the door and went upstairs and cried myself to sleep.

3 weeks later

fast forward and Tae has been hanging out with this girl called Leslie he met in English class. Whenever I ask Tae to come hang out he would be like too busy or so.

"Tae do you wanna go eat hot tteokbokki today??" I asked him hoping he would say yes.

"I cant Y/N I am meeting Leslie today to go to the arcade" He said

"Well can I join you?" I asked

"No" He said. What he said caught me off guard. whenever he hangs out with his other friends he usually lets me tally along.

"Why though?" I asked trying to keep my tears in.

"Well Leslie wont want you to join us and yeah its sort of like a date and Leslie is the hottest girl in town so I wanna make this worthwile" He said.

"So this is what it is isnt it? Your ditching your friend since diapers to a girl? I cant believe you Tae. Honestly this wouldnt have been a big deal but you have been hanging out with her too long and you never make time for me." I said tears streaming down my face.

"Dont be jealous cause you cant get anyone" He sneered.

"Jealous? JEALOUS? YOU THINK I AM FUCKING JEALOUS!? HAHA I AM NOT JEALOUS YOU PRAT I AM FUCKING DISSAPOINTED AT MYSELF FOR EVER BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU" I screamed at his face.

"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP Y/N . ALL YOU EVER DO IS WHINE AND WHINE AND CRY LIKE A CRY BABY JUST FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE" He yelled right back at me. I did the unthinkable. I slapped his across the face and ran out of the now silent cafeteria.

Few hours later

Right now I am at home locked in my bedroom. Crying looking at the pictures of me and Taehyung. It was past nine and I am hungry af. Perks of crying too much. I was fixing up some ramen when my phone went off. My ringtone blaring . I opened it to see who the caller was and it was Taehyung. I rolled my eyes and answered the call

"What do you want now?" I asked in an annoyed tone

"N/N can I com- come- to you-r ho-house" Tae said hiccuping. It seemed like he was crying.

"Oh my god what happened" I asked

"can I come please" He sobbed.

"Of course" I said and ended the call . I put my phone on the table when the door bell rang. well that was fast. I went to open the door and saw a wet Taehyung with bloodshot eyes. He hugged me very tight and cried into my shoulder.

We were currently sitting on the couch with me cuddling Tae . After I got him to calm down he blurted out everything that happened. Apparently Leslie had only used Taehyung for fame and money. Taehyung caught her kissing another guy at the arcade and ended up here at my house.

"I told you not to trust her" I told him

"Can we not talk about her but just us" He said. I hummed and went to the kitchen to cook ramen. I sent Taehyung to take a fresh bath after getting wet so much a hot bath deserves him. I was cooking the ramen when two long veiny hands wrapped around my waist. I was turned around and now my back was slammed against the counter and I was facing a shirtless Taehyung. His abs and ripped chest just centimeters from my face and his arms around my waist.

"You know Y/N I've been thinking you were always there with me since day 1 so you wouldn't mind me doing this would you" He said. He pulled my closer and slammed his lips onto mine. I tensed up at the sudden act but soon melted into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back. Soon we were making out.

I jumped and wrapped my legs around his sturdy waist while his hands were holding me by the thighs. We broke apart and were panting.

"I like you- wait screw that I love you Y/N.. wanna be mine?" He asked me.

"Do I look like a fool to reject such an offer?" I rolled my eyes and slammed my lips against his and we both kept making out again. Soon my t shirt was removed and we were both shirtless.

"So wanna take this to the bedroom?" He smirked. He and I both knew what he was talking about.

"You know how to read my mind Taehyungie" I moaned into his hair.

"Oh you are not gonna walk for another 2 weeks babe" He growled.

.............................................

"And that is how I met your father" I said telling to my 2 adopted kids.

"Woah so you both were friends?" Asked Taewoo

"Best friends?" implied Hyerong

"Yep" I said . "Anyways your father would be here any minute okay?"

"Yes Dad" They said in unison. The door opened and in came Taehyung back from work.

"Hey baby" He said and kissed me . "Hey kids" He said and ran to his kids. I laughed at the sight of my Husband , My best friend playing with our kids.

THE END

#kth angst #kpop fanfic #kpop x male reader #taehyung x male reader #fluff and feels #kth fluff #bts x male reader #angst

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i8jisoo · 4 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

minho x reader | second part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; talk of sex (not like having it but just bein a lil horndog), talk of blood & miscarriage, cursing, labor, and breastfeeding ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵

↬ notes; minho such a cutie & his lil kitties i softie

minho and you were planning this, knowing that there was going to be a year break for them, so why not finally do what u to havent been able to do?

start a family

u both were goin thru tests as if they didn’t cost 3$ each

make his pockets hurt amiright?

finally, a positive test

u were soo excited 🥺 u had gotten so many false positives so u took two more before u knew it was a real positive

ofc minho was at practice, tho there wasn’t anything happening in his career rn he still had to practice

u kinda hated his career now bc that meant u were gonna be lonely asf while pregnant :(

minho walked thru the door to ur guys place, seeing u asleep on the couch

he steps on something like wtf

there it was, the test on the floor that had fell from ur grip when u slept

he ends up just covering you with a blanket n giving u a kiss cause u must be tired right??? ur carrying a baby now, o ff i cial ly so 😳

he decides hes gonna cook dinner but then hes like fuck what if you get sick :(

now hes starting to worry n feels like hes gonna be the worst husband to go thru pregnancy with

hes mad distracted by thinking whether to cook something spicy or like pasta SOMETHING 😳

he feels arms wrapping around him n hes instantly turning around to look at you

“ohmygodohmygod.”

KISSES KISSES KISSES this man is fucking twirling you around in his arms n he is so excited to tell u that he knows

“we’re gonna have a baby!” he shouts, smiling proudly and seeing ur surprised look but nodding at him

just looking at u now he is whipped like frosting or eggs whipped he is just- wow

u were like sorta ABNORMALLY hungry for minho 😭

not just sex but cuddling, kissing, hugging, and anything in general that had to do with him

he was kinda scared u would break since ur body was now more sensitive and u two had to be careful doing even normal day to day things

u were usually the big spoon, just cause u liked holding minho like a teddy bear n letting soonie, doongie, n dori sometimes come up n minho holds them ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

now it was ur turn to be the little spoon, minho starting to like the feeling of this, he’d play with ur hair n shit or he’d watch shows with u like this

ofc soonie, doongie, and dori still came up sometimes but when ur bump started to get bigger u couldn’t let them on top of u to snuggle 🥺

idc minho gets them cat themed shit

im talkin bibs, onesies, lil hats n mittens all cat themed 😣😣

ur pregnancy was surprisingly easy, just the pain towards the end of the pregnancy was horrible

minho definitely took the last few months off, practicing at home rather than going to the studio everyday, he just wanted to keep an eye on u n make sure nothing happened to all of his babies :(

u slept like a log when u were comfortable, minho only waking u up when he thought u should eat or drink something

he loves the little things u ask him to do like grabbing something from the kitchen or helping u with ur socks n shoes 🥺🥺 sure he hates the fact that u know ur upset ab not being able to see ur toes or ur bump blocking things

but u r adorable when u ask for his help n watch him go do what u need

hes a god at massages hes just so soft n gentle with u but he HITS those spots u know he is ACC U RATT E

u went into labor around thirty-four/thirty-five weeks

u were scared shitless because ofc it was the one day u told minho to go out and have a day to himself n u would just be at home watching a movie with ur babies (aka the kitties and the ACTUAL baby)

u were in a shitton of pain n u didnt expect it cause um hello u were just eating some gummies while dori was pushing her face against the bump

u thought she like scratched u or bumped u too hard n u pushed her a lil bit but when u realized it u were quick to scoop her up and hug her

“okay uhm, i— dori do you think i should call him? maybe it’s those practice ones yeah? we can sit here and wait dori.” to which she just pawed at u n she sat there in ur lap

u quickly realized ur pains were not PRACTICE as u felt the sudden dampness

it was not what u were expecting though, seeing the red discoloration which was blood n seeping through your grey sweatpants

u got up quickly, scared of getting it on anything n going to go change as well as needing to get the bags n call minho

u were fine this morning and now ur bleeding? how could this have happened? how could u have gone into labor or had a miscarriage so quickly

ofc minho picked up quickly when u called him, the second he heard come home he was already out of there n didnt need to hear anymore

u just held onto dori, soonie, and doongie like ur life depended on it (u didnt have a death grip on them btw)

it was probably a good ten minutes of you there with all the cats n here comes minho bursting in, panting bc poor baby ran hella fast inside

he gets the bags without even talking, looking at his lil baby on the sofa kinda scrunched up in tears n in pain he feels so fuckin bad for leaving u today

he lets u hold onto him n he just rambling on about how sorry he is and about how everything is gonna be okay

upon arrival to the hospital, u and minho argued literally the WHOLE way

it wasnt because u were upset he just RAMBLED so much and u two were choosing names n shit like u were IRRITATED now grrr

it was a good fuckin distraction from the fact that u were early + u were bleeding n minho decided to keep up the bickering because u seemed occupied and less afraid

then the dreaded, “c-section”, was what you needed

they assured u everything would be okay but this was a precaution they needed to do and that the baby was mostly likely okay with being delivered

minho crying 🥺 he was rly scared at the thought of anything else going wrong

they have the sheet up and hes so nervous while holding ur hand, goin up on his tippy toes trying to watch :(

“alright, they are almost here!”

there wasnt any cries 🥺 ur hearts dropped n u two just looked at each other waiting for the cries

suddenly u two heard cooing and then loud cries, the doctor rubbing their back to get the blood flowing and to help warm them up

“your baby girl!”

so many kisses n tears, she was fuckin perfect

u both had the biggest smiles and tears coming down ur faces while she slowly calmed down and u both carefully touched her

minho later watched you from the chair next to the bed, trying to feed her like the nurse taught u to do

he looked at u, silently asking you if he could help, you nodding and his hands slowly and carefully helped guide her to latch on

he was takin n o t e s from these nurses

she looked so comfortable n he was just amazed at you he couldn’t believe you created something so perfect, this tiny little girl was your person

they were your person ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭*

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pbandjesse · 5 years

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Today was a pretty excellent day. There were some hiccups. But in general an excellent time and I am eating pasta and having a great time.

It was a really great day off. Like the only thing I woukd hsve changed was a nap. But only because im sleepy now. I slept okay enough last night. But our timers on the lights are still messed up so I woke up distressed by the lights. James turned the bedroom one off at least.

James got up before me. I watched him play on his phone for a while. But eventually we actually got up. Sweetp was being very needy today. Bothering James while he cooked. Stole 3 whole bites of my omelet!! The audacity.

But it was a nice morning. We hung out on the couch. But all to quickly James had to go to work. So I was determined to not just be a potato.

I eventually got up and got dressed. James had pulled my coat box down because it was wicked windy out. And I didnt think my jean jacket was enough. And I was very right.

I left here around 1145. Was going to catch the gold bus. But it didn't even slow down and went right past me.

So I wasn't thrilled. I had a nice talk with an old guy at the bus stop. And the next bus came fast enough.

But i somehow got on thr wrong gold line???? I didn't even know there was more then one. Why is there more then one?? The bus driver told me where to go catch the correct bus. But I was in a rougher part of town that I was not familiar with. As I walked to the correct bus i passed a building I knew from a photo at the BMI. Felt a little safer. But again thr bus went past me and i had to wait 20 minutes for the next one. And it was very windy.

But it did come. And i got to the target a full hour after I left the house. My headphones died and so I put those on my charger and enjoyed walking around.

I found an amazing jumpsuit. Gave a very cool guy a compliment on the jean jacket he was trying on and he got all bashful. I found lots of weird and silly things. I got tobsee the Rizmo package!! It was way heavier then I expected!

I left there. I was actually looking for a raincoat. A real one that isnt just a windbreaker. But no luck at target. I also looked at old navy but also no luck.

I went to five below and finally bought the pumpkin squishmallow I have been hemming and hawwing about. And then to five guys for a late lunch.

I enjoyed my food and the podcast I was listening too. And then I was off again.

I walked a couole blocks and went to the thrift store. They were having some issues with a customer who keeps buying and returning things. So I had to wait a while to give them my backpack. But once I gave that over I enjoyed looking around.

I found an orange bear with a Halloween cat mask on. And I found sone great black clogs. And a razer scooter!! Mostly for my kids but also for me. And I found an excellent rain coat! Its red and thick and has a flannel lining. Im very excited. No more soaked bike rides.

I hope.

I had to wait forever to check out because of the same guy. But whatever. I was able to fit everything but the raincoat and the scooter into my backpack. Which was nice be cause I really didnt want to carry a whole bunch of stuff.

I left there and went to get the blue line. Took it to get my bike. And as soon as i got off the bus my headphones and phone died. Ah well.

I got my bike. Locked the scooter to my basket. And headed home.

I got back here and was real tired. But I unpacked all my stuff. And chilled. I changed. Had a snack. Laid with sweetp. Eventually I put the clean dishes away. I drew for a while. And now im just watching videos. I have some projects to toy around with. But its been a great day. I cant wait to see my boyfriend and get some sleep.

Tomorrow I have a dermatologist appointment and I work at the science center! I completely forgot I volenteered for the shift. I hope its just a chill day in general though. And I hope you all have a great night.

Sleep well everyone. Be safe out there.

#ootd #day off #sky #bus #tired #target

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imagine-always-and-forever · 6 years

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Relapsing with an eating disorder and Klaus finding out would include...

Disclaimer: this talks about eating disorders, self harm, and body image. This may be triggering.

Requests:

Hey can you do a Klaus x reader where the reader is overweight and relapses with her bulimia and cutting. She feels worthless and Klaus finds out and he tells her she beautiful and worth it and he loves her.

Could you do a Klaus x reader where the reader relapses with her bulimia and self-harm. Klaus tells her she beautiful the way she is and is not worthless and he loves her. If not, no biggie I know they are touchy subjects.

It’s a long one.

you’ve been doing really well for a while. In fact, for the first time in a long time, you’re in a good place. There are good days and bad, but overall you’ve been eating healthy, portion controlled meals. Everything was going well. You even managed to look at yourself in the mirror a few times and think that this was it. You’d finally beaten it.

that was until a last week

it was the smallest trigger. Curling on the bed with your laptop, watching Netflix, the screen faded to black in the show you were watching and your reflection stared back at you.

your eyes immediately went to the double chin reflecting in the screen

then they moved to the roundness of your cheeks

you stretched out your neck, that pit forming in your stomach

on their own, your eyes slid down to your stomach, where your laptop balanced between bent legs and the large soft folds of your cozy over sized jumper.

suddenly, you were unable to look away and not notice the convex form to your stomach.

your heart was thudding in your chest as the thoughts that plagued you for years came rushing to your conscious mind

you were drowning and you looked at the empty wrapper of the pop-tart next to you in abject horror

that was six days ago.

you’ve spiraled like you haven’t in years

first you stopped eating

it was easy to do and hide because you faked an illness and nobody batted an eye

maybe if they knew your past, someone would have noticed

but you’re an expert at hiding it

then, when the Mikaelsons left town for a couple days to deal with something, and your stomach growled and your body demanded food, you spiraled some more

maybe it was because you hadn’t done this in so long. maybe it was because you’d been eating healthy for so long. maybe you just forgot how bad it was.

whatever it reason it was didn’t matter in the long run because you looked out at the mass of food you had in front of you. Pizza, pasta, ice cream, chocolates, gummies, nutbutters, bread, fast food, cake, everything was there.

and you ate and ate and ate

you ate until your body begged for you to stop

you ate until you felt hot and uncomfortable and tired

you ate yourself until you wanted to scream

when you stopped, the tears streamed and you hated yourself like you haven’t in a long time.

that’s when you ran to the bathroom, desperate to get it out. it all had to come out.

the burn in your throat, the acid taste in your mouth, the pungent smell in the air, were horrific familiarities that made you hate yourself even more.

with watering eyes, heaving breath, and a mind that swam with erratic panic and blinding hatred, you reached for the razor that sat innocently on the shelf

Klaus walked into the compound, ready to surprise you with his early return

the smile on his face morphed into shock, his eyebrows jumping up to his hairline, as he took in the disaster that as in front of him.

the room was littered with empty containers and wrappers

he smiled as he thought about chastising you for throwing a party while he was away

his smile dropped when the smell of blood hit him

a second later, the smell of vomit hit him

he was in the doorway of the bathroom within seconds and he looked down in shock, his eyes shining and his mind blank

you sat against the toilet, your head lolling back, with cuts covering your body

it looked like you were trying to carve yourself

dried blood from the small cuts and fresh blood still trickling from the deeper ones were all over you

the back of one of your sleeves was covered with crusted vomit from when you had wiped harshly at your mouth in disgust

your face was streaked with tears and snot

it was hard to tell if you’d cried your self to sleep or had passed out from the blood

Klaus bent down and gently touched your shoulder

you didn’t budge.

immediately, he bit into his wrist and fed you his blood

just in case

you didn’t wake

he picked you up and took you to his bathroom

he stripped you and placed you in the bathtub

as your wounds healed, he slowly washed you, being extra gentle

his mind was still blank

when you were clean, he dried you carefully and put you in your favourite pajamas.

when you were placed in bed, he tucked you in and made a phone call in the hall for a cleaner

he sat on your bed, watching you sleep as his mind finally started to process what he came home to

how had he not seen it?

you stopped eating. you started wearing your baggiest clothes. you avoided mirrors and photos and people as much as possible.

how had he not seen it?

he was angry with himself

your eyes opened an hour later, as Klaus still sat on the bed watching you and feeling angry

when you saw him, you smiled

you felt so good and relaxed

as the memories of the past week came slowly to the forefront of your mind, they contrasted so drastically with the peaceful tiredness you felt now that you wrote them off as a bad dream and closed your eyes to have a good one this time

Klaus leaned over and gently caressed your cheek

you smiled again and opened your eyes to look at him

his eyes were shining and he was looking at you so gently and scared that you felt a spike of panic

what had happened?

“love?”

and in one word you knew it hadn’t been a dream at all.

you closed your eyes and turned your head in horror and embarrassment as you felt yourself cry and a lump in your throat threaten to choke you

Klaus kept gently stroking your face and you hated it

you didn’t want to be touched. you didn’t want to be seen. you didnt’ want to breath. you didn’t deserve it. how could you?

there was anger swelling in your heart. you hated yourself. you hated hated hated hated yourself

an then Klaus said he was sorry and you were too confused to hate yourself

he said he was sorry?

Klaus spoke as you refused to look at him. He told you that he was sorry for not seeing it sooner. he was sorry you felt you had to keep it from him. he was sorry he didn’t help you. he was sorry you were alone. he was sorry he didn’t come back sooner. he was sorry he hadn’t been able to help you. he was sorry.

he told you that he knew what it was like to hate yourself and believe that you’re worthless, weak, and undesirable

but that YOU were not any of those things.

when you started to cry again, he moved to sit against the headboard of the bed and hug you close to him

he whispered into your hair that even though he’s been alive for so long, learnt so much, experienced so many things, met so many people, he still doesn’t know everything and there are still moments in life where he is beaten down by those very thoughts of worthlessness and self-hate.

but what he knows, without a doubt, is that YOU are not worthless.

and that YOU are beautiful and STRONG

and, most importantly, he knows that you will never be alone like this again because he will be here for you.

you’re going to work on this together

he is going to here to tell you this everyday and every night if he has to be

“i’m not worth it” “yes you are”

when you don’t say anything, he just holds you closer and tighter

you let sleep claim you again, too emotionally exhausted to put up a fight

the last thing you remember is Klaus whispering that he loves you

#klaus mikaelson #the originals #niklaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson headcanons #niklaus mikaelson headcanons #the originals headcanons #trigger warning #bulimiia #self harm #requested #please don't read if you have body issues #warning

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emmatrustsno-one · 7 years

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Brace yourselves A very long essay (like, a thesis) on the British class system with references to Harry Potter Part 2

Let’s continue. Have another comedy clip showcasing how stupid the upper-class is meant to be, to get you going:

youtube

A side point: almost all the British actors celebrated by Tumblr went to private or public school and are upper-class, or upper middle-class.Here’s a buzzfeed quiz to give your brain bracing time for part 2. I got it right for the exact same reason the top commenter did! Have a look once you’ve done it! That’s another blog post in itself!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hattiesoykan/which-of-these-british-actors-didnt-go-to-a-private-school?utm_term=.ylwEEKxnDN#.mfyBBg7oQx

Food and diet

As I mentioned in my post about food in Harry Potter, food is intricately bound up with class. Working-class people have tradtionally had a poor diet, through poverty and lack of education, and also because of the impact of the Second World War, when food was very scarce. Where I am from people were still dying of malnutrition when my dad was teenager, so in the late 1960s. Working-class people then used to cook with beef dripping as they couldn’t afford other fats, and everyone on his street shared the same pan of dripping. I am from a former industrial town with two-up, two-down terraced workers’ houses, just like Snape, so we can assume that when Snape was a child he experienced similar levels of malnutrition around him.

Things are much better now, but in the last century people used to grow a lot of their own food if they had outdoor space, steal or not eat. They could afford to buy very little and then only the cheapest foods, which are often the least nutritious. It meant that they didn’t eat big or regular meals and that there was very little variety in their diets, and no treats. JKR has a story about trying to buy a tin of baked beans, and nothing else, from the supermarket, for her daughter’s meal, and having to put it back because she didn’t have enough money. Then, tins of beans were like 10p.

When my parents were at school, all kids used to get a small carton of milk for free at breaktime to make sure they were getting enough calcium. In the 70s, Thatcher (may she rot in hell) was education secretary (this was before she was prime minister) and she stopped the milk provision, which meant that many working-class kids stopped getting a key part of their nutrition. She was too disconnected from working-class people to understand, or care, that she was taking away critical nutrition. It was a political and social scandal and she got the nickname ‘Thatcher the milk snatcher’.

Best ever comment about that evil bitch is from the comedian Frankie Boyle, who had much to say about her, but the best was on the subject of her funeral: “give everyone is Scotland a shovel and we’ll dig a hole so deep we’ll deliver her to satan personally.”

Since we don’t finish school here until after 3, schools provide a lunch, which most people have to pay for (or you can take your own). The canteens in secondary schools are usually far too small and, certainly until very recently, when Jamie Oliver started a war on school food, served repetitive, low nutrient, processed rubbish. Until the turn of the century you would be lucky to get anything other than hot dogs, turkey twizzlers, chicken nuggets, chips and pizza, and when I say pizza, I mean a square chunk of dense bread with cheese and tomato purée on it. And cake. Now schools usually do at least pasta, salad and sandwiches as well. The main problem is budget. These schools are state-maintained and are given an allowance to spend on each thing. When Jamie Oliver started his campaign against poor quality school food, the school he worked with had a budget of 13p for every child. The ‘better’ the school the better the food: public schools, whose budget comes from fees, serve the kind of food Hogwarts did. Some kids, i.e. those from very low income families, are allowed a free school meal, and for many it is their only meal of the day, even now. I work in a working-class school and trust me, at least half never get a breakfast, and many have a sandwich for the evening meal. I know one boy who is given a Nutella sandwich every evening and that is all. Theresa May, who is a wannabe Thatcher, just announced recently that she is thinking of scrapping the free school meals program. It would be a disaster for the poorest kids.

Buying cheap food isn’t the only issue. Since working-class people work so much they are too tired and busy to cook proper meals, so they often settle for ready-meals, fast-food and takeaways. Lack of education has an impact as well. People eat food for taste and convenience alone, not fully grasping that they need to eat certain things to be healthy, and as a result many go under-nourished or become obese.

There is also the issue of how to cook things – not just in terms of lack of education, but in lack of facilities. Some people don’t have a hob, or an oven, maybe even just a microwave.

Hydration is an issue as well. A lot of working-class people don’t realise how much water they need to drink to be healthy, so they are dehydrated, and their kids are as well, so they don’t have very good concentration, so they don’t do as well at school, and the cycle of lack of education continues.

Middle and upper-class people have the money, time and mental space to buy and make, or have made for them, varied, healthy foods. They have the education to eat and drink the right things. This means they are healthy and can concentrate at school or at other things and become successful.

Housing and class

Where you live is defined by, and indicative of, class. I am simplifying here, but in a nutshell, the north of England and a lot of Scotland and Wales is predominantly working-class. The further south you go, the higher the dominant class. This is because it was in the north that mills and factories were built in the Industrial Revolution, and because coal mines were up here. Many towns were built purposely to house workers of a certain factory, mill or mine. They all look the same, just with different bricks: terraced rows of small, dark houses with 2 rooms upstairs and 2 downstairs. Many have since been extended by owners to include an indoor bathroom, which would originally have been outside in an outhouse. A few people still had outdoor toilets in the 90s. The film Billy Elliot is an excellent overview of such towns and housing. If you haven’t seen it and you are interested in class, you should definitely watch it. Later on, social housing was built in the form of semi-detached houses and large blocks of flats, but detached houses have only recently become a thing for anyone other than the upper-class.

Working-class people end up living in the worst housing. Many of them rent rather than own, and that’s not as good here as in the rest of Europe. Tenants don’t have many rights and there is little regulation on landlords. Many people, right now, are living in slum housing. I am talking no flooring, unpainted walls, no heating, filth everywhere. You can either rent from a private landlord, who can do as little as he likes to make you comfortable, pretty much, or you can rent from your local council. Council housing is usually either semi-detached houses or in bigger cities flats in large blocks. The abysmal state of blocks of flats has recently been all over the news in the form of the Grenfell Tower block fire, where many people died and have had to be rehomed, simply because cheap cladding had been used on the outside of the building and the fire travelled up it like it was tissue paper. Many blocks have this same cladding on. The residents there had complained about safety many times but had been ignored. To make matters worse, there is a serious shortage of council housing across the country because fucking Thatcher (again) introduced a scheme where council tenants could buy their home if they lived in it for so long, and they could buy it for a crazily cheap price. Loads of people took advantage of it by buying their home for next to nothing, waiting a few years then selling it on for a massive profit, but of course that meant all the fucking social housing disappeared. My sister-in-law got divorced around 12 years ago and she went to the council to put her name on the list to get somewhere to live and the list was so long it took 5 years to offer her anything, and then it was the shittiest house imaginable, because that’s all they’ve got left.

They also ruin what little housing is left by a) putting loads of criminals and drug dealers etc in one place, so you end up with some estate from hell and b) putting foreign immigrants all in one place, so you end up with people who came here for asylum from either side of a civil war living next to each other, or ghettoising them so that they are abandoned and lost.

In Scotland working-class housing was, until very recently, tenement buildings, which were sort of communal flats. Families had their own rooms but had to share some of them. The stairs and communal areas were like something out of a Victorian workhouse. Slums. Here are some pictures, with info, of working-class housing in Glasgow between the 40s and 60s. Glasgow is especially woeful. I actually love the place, but there’s no denying it has been hell on earth for much of its history. I remember doing a geography project at school (mid 90s) and discovering that the life expectancy in the most working-class part of Glasgow was 54. It has gone up since, but is still below the national average: all the factors I have discussed combine to literally knock years off people’s lives.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/glasgow-housing-crisis?utm_term=.apNOODpKkJ#.wn3BBNXxK4

Regarding the rows of terraces built to house industrial workers I mentioned earlier, this is exactly the sort of place Snape grew up. Here’s an example. They would have had a sitting room and kitchen downstairs and 2 bedrooms upstairs, with an outside toilet, while he was a child, and certainly no plumbed in bath or shower.

Upper-class people live in detached houses, usually historic ones like castles and former estates. They usually have multiple houses.

Middle-class housing is varied depending on whereabouts on the continuum people are. It ranges from townhouses, to large, nicer semi-detached houses, to detached houses to mansions. A key point I want to make here is that it is totally normal to have the lowliest of working-class housing, such as in the picture, and then a few minutes’ walk away, a middle-class area. Upper-class housing is always considerably separate from the other two, but working and middle are near each other. I saw a ridiculous post a few weeks ago claiming that Lily must have been poor because she lived close enough to Snape that Petunia knew who he was, but that is utter rubbish – that person can’t have been British. Nearly all towns have slummy areas and middle-class areas, and our towns are small. Also, he was doing that accidental wandless magic kids do, so no doubt he had a reputation for being a weirdo.

The mere fact that Petunia criticises Snape’s clothes proves beyond doubt that she wasn’t working-class, as in those days, everybody working-class was wearing hand-me-down clothes like that, therefore another “poor” person wouldn’t have noticed/mentioned. The punk movement’s fashion of safety pins in the 70s came about due to the simple fact that the working-class were wearing such old clothes that they were falling apart and they could only fix them with safety pins. As Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols said, “we had to use them – the arse was hanging off your jeans so you just had to shove a few safety pins in it.” So Petunia wasn’t poor or she would have empathised with Snape, not criticised him.

It crops up everywhere and all the time

By complete coincidence yesterday I saw a review on Amazon that completely illustrates how notions of class pervade our conscious in Britain. It was a review for a book about Freud and feminism, an academic work. It was the only negative review amongst quite a few positive ones. I’ll let you read it then I’ll discuss:

I bought a copy for a penny on Amazon and that was over spending. I have worked in the mental health field for over thirty years and have trained as a psychotherapist and am very well acquainted with Freud's work. I was shocked by how badly this author described his ideas. If I didn't already know what she was talking about I wouldn't have had a clue about what she was saying. She really seems to be someone who wants to make a somewhat complicated subject even more complicated. I stopped at the end of her second chapter as I just couldn't take anymore. I wouldn't describe her as providing the reader with an explanation, in fact one could be forgiven for viewing her writing as an attempt at deliberate confusion or if not confusion an attempt to make what Freud had written about sexuality as even more difficult to understand than it was. Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised by this. The author is essentially taking a Lacanian position towards Freud, a position that upper middle class complicated academics have taken up. Unfortunately these are people who really don't want to accept what Freud actually wrote and instead want to impose on his writings their own wishes for what they would have preferred him to write i.e. that the unconscious is structured like a language and that word representations exist at this level, despite Freud's own writing that this isn't so. What amuses me is that author purports to be a Marxist. Given the way she writes it's clear enough that she wants to keep the uneducated working class at quite a distance. This book is in my opinion pretentious upper middle class trash. I'm giving my copy to Oxfam.

Firstly, the fact that it’s a stream of consciousness rant should tell you enough to know that it’s not trustworthy. The most important thing, though, is the linking of academic analysis with being upper middle-class. The reviewer has taken a stance on psychoanalytical ideas that is typical of the science side of the discipline. They clearly think it’s a waste of time to look for meaning beyond practical application, e.g. for literary analysis, and something only someone with time and money would do.

It goes deeper than that as well. There’s a clear derogatory link between academia and being upper middle-class and the reviewer is offended because, as a result of their lower class, they don’t understand the book. They have tried to blame the author, by throwing around intellectual names like Lacan and Marx, and showing that they are the sort of high-standing citizen that gives to charity, but ultimately, the subject matter of the book is beyond them. They have taken this to be a result of class hindrances, which it probably is. The reviewer isn’t educated or cultured enough to understand the book. This annoys them and so they are attacking those who are.

There is a perception, which is hard to explain, that the most difficult and annoying class is the middle-class. Part of this arises out of the fact that the middle-class is such a long continuum. People who are middle-class often have delusions of being very high class, even though they probably started as working-class. They are constantly competing with each other within the class. This review is, to me, a good example of that, because it’s obvious that the reviewer is lower middle-class themselves. They have a profession, they are educated at higher education level and they are reading books about Freud for fun. They are proud to be middle-class. But then this book comes along and makes them feel alienated from their own demographic. It makes them feel like an outsider; they don’t have the power to understand the book. So they attack the author for daring to show that they aren’t so high up after all.

The perception of middle-class people of being stuck-up also links to a perception that some upper-class people are easy-going and easier to get on with for working-class people than the middle-classes. The idea being, no doubt, that the upper and working classes both understand their place, they are content with who they are. But the middle-classes are always wanting to keep with the Joneses, to get better, to compete with you. Here are 3 comedy clips that illustrate my point. The first is stand-up comedy by Billy Connolly, who’s about as working-class as you can get (it’s just audio), and the others are from a 90s sketch show (bonus: the second one has the actor who plays Mr Weasley in it!)

youtube

I always felt like Gryffindor was a bit like the annoying middle-class guy comparing you to him. I can just hear Gryffindors saying “I couldn’t help but notice that I am considerably more perfect/popular than yooouuuuwww”!

In conclusion, feel free to dislike Severus all you want, but if you could stop calling him racist I would really appreciate it.

To finish (at last, I hear you cry) here is a Brief suggested watch/listen list if you interested in representations of class. They should all be accessible online.I am happy to answer questions about any of them.

TV-

Blackadder, but only series 2-4, 1 is shit (Rowan Atkinson plays a middle-class man stuck between the stupid working and upper-classes)

Harry Enfield and Chums, Little Britain (both sketch shows attacking all classes)

Only fools and horses (2 working-class brothers try to make a living by selling dodgy goods at the market)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet (you will need subtitles – it’s about a group of guest workers in Germany and the main characters are geordies, which means from Newcastle)

The fact that these are all comedies says it all about our views of the situation.

Films – Billy Elliot (2000)

Pride (2014) (both are about the miners’ strike in the 80s, which is the most important event in recent working-class history, and both deal with LGBT themes)

East in East (1999) (about the added struggles for working-class immigrants)

The Full Monty (1997) (about unemployed working-class men stripping for money – it’s a comedy!)

Music – the album ‘Different class’ by Pulp, a band from Sheffield, a very working-class city (which I happen to love as I went to university there) which suffered terribly from the collapse of British industry since basically all the steel was made there. The film ‘The Full Monty’ is set there.

Other – any stand-up comedy (the working-class art) by the comedians Peter Kay or (pre-2000s) Billy Connolly.

Thank you and I apologise for the length!

#Harry Potter #british class system #British history #BRITISH SCHOOLS #britain vs america #snape love #snapedom #working class #@deathdaydungeon

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captain-of-the-roses · 3 years

Text

Stupid words from family's mouth

Part VII

"Dad is using a knife as a spoon." "Oof."

"Don't spit at me, you bastard. Mmm, delicious. I will eat your entire race."

"I think this is my rebellious teenage phase."

"Rhinoceros are curvy hippos." "I think you need a nap."

Slams open door: "Tomato milk!" *screams*

"Cheese is milk sprinkles." "I think that's enough for today."

"Laundry stuff is clothing milk." "Go outside and squeeze it from the clothing into a bucket." "Yes."

"Crewposter!"

"You just killed me." "I'm sorry."

"Dad your soup!" "What about my soup?" "It steam."

"Thirst." "I is thirst, yes."

"What happened to you? This afternoon you were so quiet then you started talking and that was the end of that."

"Oh. Its locked." "You gotta be smarter then the water bottle. But we've already established the braincell is not in the house today."

"So I just watched the weather..." "Did it get better or worse?" "Define better." "More snow." "Theyre calling for at least 15 inches." "Yes!"

"Why don't the creators of head and shoulders have something called knees and toes?" "Are you on Reddit or are you having a crisis?" "Well I was I'm Reddit but now I am having a crisis." "Head and shoulders and knees and toes, knees and toes-"

"Christmas is in 10 days." "Oh my God. We have like a week! We dont have a tree, Dad!"

"I am sitting here, head on my pillow, and my head vibrated. That was the single most disturbing thing I have ever heard out of ome of you guys. And I have heard you guys shit your pants."

"What's the folktale here in Berwick?" "Ya know that golf course? If you follow that street and travel all the way through you'll reach a level with a bunch of houses. Keep going and you'll reach the top of the mountain- hill- where its a cliff to one side and on the other is a perfectly straight line of trees. In the middle is a path. If you follow that path it'll take you to a perfectly round circle. Stand in the middle of that circle and no matter how loud you scream no one will here you. Its called the Devil's triangle." "Why a triangle if its a circle in the middle of a line?" "Berwick. And nothing will grow in the circle." "I feel like I should be more frealed iut by that fact considering we are in PA where we have the best farmland and everything should be able to grow everywhere."

"Wimps~" "I'm not cold I'm comfy!"

"Ever here of the Ghost Nazi Bell of Pennsylvania?" "I'm sorry the what now?" "During WWII Germany tried to time travel once they realized they were going to lose-" "Wouldnt that make an alternate timeline?" "*shrugs* Anyways, after the war ended the Allies found the camp the tume travel was being studied at. There, they found a large stone monumot with a big gap in it. The Allies also found a bunch of notes telling of a large acorn shaped bell that was supposed to go there. It had Scandinavian runes across the bottom and supposedly a time capsule that would prove time travel. But the bell was never found. Later, in 1950-ish, up in the woodland section of Erie a lone man was walking his dog when a bright streak of light flew from the sky and landed near his house. He went home and got his gun-" "Do all Pennsylvanians just keep guns on them?" "*repeated nodding* So he went and found where the object landed. Trees and rocks were knocked over and destroyed and there was a large ditch. The man followed the ditch and ended up looking at a large tipped over acorn like object. It was still red hot from fallinh from the sky so fast. The man went back to get something and when he came out of his house less them five minutes later, the entire area was swarmed with FBI, unidentified cop cars, the whole shebang. They took the man's statements and told him to go home. When the man went back to the ditch the next day, the gold acorn was gone. In the 1980s the papers about the time traveling bell were released to the public so the man couldn't have made up the bell just to get popularity because no one but government really knew about the time traveling bell. This whole thing is documented to." "Wait- did they use the bell to time travel back to tell themselves to get to Erie quickly to find the bell?" "That's the theory. And nothing will grow in that ditch to this day. Tree roots will sink back into the ground and bend around it to stay away from the ditch."

"Lets go to Gettysburg."

"Give the ghosts six cookies in exchange for them not following us home."

"I don't want to go to a haunted house." "Jaiden, we live in a haunted house."

"Gimme the soup." "Its not soup." "Spaghett." "No, not spaghetti." "Its either soup or Spaghetti!" "Its pasta!" "Don't be upsetti have some spaghetti!"

"Hold on, I am biz." "You're biz alright. I dont even know what biz means." "I tried to say busy but didnt finish it." "Biz is not an adjective verb I am-" "Your name is adjective verb?" "....listen here you little shit."

"Did y'all here that elephant noise last night?" "No." "Well there was. That was Ruta covering up me crying over Mipha again."

"Are you Bob the Builder?"

"Come on Serena, lets go annoy Discord."

"Please let go of me and stop trying to drag me into the night."

"Last night Serena tried to pull me somewhere by my sleeve but she missed my arm and instead grabbed my squid. So instead of trying to grab my arm again she ran off with the squid, dropped it on the ground, amd screamed at it." "She went to far to go back."

"Spaghetti broth." "No, wouldn't that be the stuff you poor out of it?" "True."

"None of you are going to let me live that down, are you!" "At your graduation speech I'm gonna stand up and say 'Birds live in Birdhouses.'"

#weird things my family has said

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