#so! conversation mashups: take two songs and “what if they were a conversation” so its a back and forth mashup | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mirrorforevers · 3 years

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here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

#graham coxon #alex james #damon albarn #dave rowntree #blur #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #y/n #fluff #au #fanfiction #blur band

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angelmichelangelo · 3 years

Text

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

#this is insanity #how did this happen #glee #tw hate crime mention #tw suicide mention #tw mental health mention #this was from my drafts lmao

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noirewrites · 4 years

Text

Mending the Rip (Of My Shirt and Your Heart)

Kitty Section are practising when Luka’s favorite Jagged Stone shirt rips. Luckily his latest costume designer is on hand to fix it, but who knew Marinette could get so tongue tied? And doesn’t she only do that over boys she likes?

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Pairing: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Adrien Agreste/Kagami Tsurugi, Kagami Tsurugi & Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Tagging @aestheticnpoetic :)

Chapter 2: How Your Song RickRolls With My Heart

Luka couldn't understand how merely a few fluttering touches had turned the sweet, innocent angel into a devious seductress.

Once they were in the cabin, Luka let out a sigh of relief. Ironically, despite the open sky, it had been much more stuffy up on the deck compared to the cabin.

Finally the much-needed privacy , he thought.

“Huh?” Marinette asked, catching his attention. He was confused at first before he finally realised.

“Whoops, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Kind of.” The girl giggled before setting her purse down and picking up her sewing kit. She sat down on the bed to thread the needle, and Luka gingerly took a seat on the other corner.

“That Lila girl was really something,” he mused out loud after a while, causing Marinette to jerk up in surprise as the needle slipped from her grasp.

Luka dove down to retrieve the needle at the same time as her, causing their heads to bump together. Muttering a quick “sorry”, she got up, allowing him to continue the search.

After a moment or two of searching, he finally found the needle. As he reached to pick it up, his hand brushed her leg, causing her to squeak.

“Sorry!” Luka immediately pulled his hand back, blushing a bit. “I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay,” Marinette giggled lightly, pulling her feet up to give him space.

Cheeks still burning slightly with embarrassment, he picked up the needle and handed it to her before getting back into his seat. She proceeded to fiddle a bit with it, trying to get the thread in the eye of the needle.

However, Luka needed to know why her heart song had been that—that different earlier today. He knew Marinette’s emotions could change easily, but he had memorised all melodies her song had played.

It was calm, sweet and serene when she was chill. It was like the beautiful notes of a flute whenever she was happy and excited. It was the sad undertones of a mourning song when she was sad or troubled, like the times when she had been getting over Adrien.

Whenever she went crazy and nervous with the hullabaloo of her life, her song was like a mix of all tunes known to man thrown together in an insane mashup. When she stood for the right, the tune carried the tone of pride in them. Whenever she was angered, her heart song raged on like the thrashing waves of an ocean in a storm.

But today, it had been disturbingly different.

Her heart song today had been like the screech of the car tires. Like nails on a blackboard. Like glass slicing through skin.

It was raw with pain, hurt and agony. It was totally wrecked, totally jagged.

“Marinette?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Luka asked again.

Marinette jolted in surprise, nearly dropping the needle before catching it.

“You won’t give up on that question? I thought you respected my secrets.”

“Secrets of the heart that you wanna keep close to yourself? Yes, I respect them and always will. But this…”

His voice trailed off, before he shook his head and tried to speak again, “Your heart song today troubled me a lot, ‘Nette. I know you prefer to keep your sadness to yourself, being brave and always trying to be happy, but—”

“But what, Luka?”

The boy sighed. “Even when you tried to change the subject when we were on deck? I could hear the undertones of your song of distress. And when you looked at Adrien with that sad look, it crescended again and— I know I am talking a lot in music but, but…”

It had hurt him the way her song had resonated in his chest. As if someone had pulled his heart out and stomped over it, right in front of his eyes. He loved this girl dearly — seeing her even in the slightest bit of distress made him want to chase her troubles away.

“Luka?”

Her voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he shook his head to regather himself. “I...your heart song sliced through my heart, Mari. Just this one time, I plead to you, share the reason for your distress with me.”

He placed his hand atop hers, hearing her breath hitch slightly.

“Please.” He said in a low, desperate tone, his eyes pleading.

Marinette sighed, holding his hand in hers as her sapphire gaze turned misty.

“It’s just… Adrien was the first person to know about Lila’s lies. But—but he told me to take the high road and not expose her. ‘Cause app-apparently, her lies weren’t harming anyone and…”

There it was. Her heart song slicing through his heart, again . And this time, he couldn’t bear it.

So he did what he deemed the best to heal that beautiful tune of hers.

Luka hugged Marinette, tight.

The girl froze in surprise. She stayed stiff as a statue, not returning the hug. Feeling he had crossed a line, Luka started to back off.

“I am sorry if I made you uncom— OOF! ”

Only to be engulfed by Marinette in a much tighter hug.

She sobbed into his chest, letting her emotions out. And Luka held her tight, patting her back gently as he kept a lookout for the evilised butterflies.

Her melody transitioned from the heart-wrenching tone to a soft, dull hum. An indication of her being sad, but calm.

They stayed like that for a while, before Marinette slightly shifted, causing Luka to immediately pull back. Her cheeks were tinged a bit pink as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, looking anywhere but at him.

Maybe she is embarrassed , he thought to himself. Though he couldn’t quite understand why her song didn’t say the same. It was different again, this time something lighter and more harmonious.

Luka cleared his throat, causing her to shift her attention to him. Her eyes were still a bit swollen from crying, but the sadness had now evaporated from her expression, which was a plus.

Setting up his guitar, Luka set it on his lap, noting how Marinette’s eyes sparkled in curiosity.

He closed his eyes and began to strum the notes of the song that resonated in his heart.

As he played, he heard her gasp in surprise. Luka momentarily opened his eyes to find Marinette gazing at him, her hands clasped at her mouth as her eyes once again shimmered with tears.

The song reached a beautiful crescendo with her emotions, and Luka found himself drifting away with the magnificent tune. Finally ending the melody on a soft note, he turned over to the person who had, unknowingly, inspired this song out of him.

“That—” Marinette’s voice wavered slightly, before she gulped and tried again, “That was melodious, Luka. It was...it was like the chirping of birds, the sound of flowing crystal clear waters, the swishing of fresh mountain breeze — but a hundred times better.”

Luka smiled in return, putting his guitar to the side. Her song was back to the usual happy one, and he felt like he had accomplished something great, something worthy.

As he reached over to replace the guitar pick in its place, Marinette asked, “How did you come up with that? In fact, with all these tunes you play? I mean, what are the inspirations?”

He froze at the question.

How wrong she was to think that there were inspirations, when he only had one muse for all his melodies. The muse who had herself asked him that question.

Music is often simpler than words, but this time, even music failed to help him convey his thoughts. After all, how was he supposed to tell it to her face that he loved her? That his heart had fallen for her the day she had first entered his cabin, cutely stuttering a conversation with him. That despite it hurt him, he had still urged her to pursue Adrien. That despite her considering him as just a friend, he had still kept his heart on his sleeve for her.

Love is strange, but one-sided love...it is stranger.

Taking in a deep breath, he smiled at her, opting for a cryptic answer. “There’s only a single inspiration — a tune very close to my heart.”

If she knew which tune exactly was close to his heart, well, damn him.

Marinette hummed in reply, before going back to threading the needle.

Placing the guitar pick, Luka turned to her. She smiled, getting up from his bed.

“So, are you comfortable standing up while I sew the tear up? I mean, it would be easier for me to handle, but you’re probably tired and—”

“Oh, it’s fine by me.”

Marinette bent down to peer at the tear, fiddling with the fabric’s edges a bit. Feeling her breath on his skin, Luka’s brain finally caught up with the proximity he was sharing with his crush.

And as if Marinette wanted to highlight the closeness, her hand brushed against his stomach.

Luka stiffened, trying his best to not let her hear the hitch in his breath. He shifted his gaze down at her, and caught her looking up at him, her cheeks tinged pink.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s—it’s fine.”

As she resumed her work, Luka couldn’t lift his gaze off her. The way she stuck her tongue out as she focused on sewing the tear, her eyes trained on getting each stitch right — the musician tried desperately to stop his stomach from flip-flopping around, failing miserably.

Her hands fluttered over his shirt, the warmth of her body teasing him in unknown ways. Gulping, Luka tried to wander his mind to somewhere, anywhere that didn’t scream Marinette. Juleka claimed him to be the most patient of all people, but given his current situation….

In his defense, it wasn’t everyday one was this close to their crush.

Suddenly a sharp prick on his stomach caused him to jump slightly.

“Sorry! My hand slipped!” Marinette apologised fervently, causing him to chuckle a bit.

“No harm done, ‘Nette.” He was glad for this miniscule tension relief, but of course he didn’t say that.

Flashing him a radiant smile, Marinette ducked back to complete the task in hand, leaving him feeling jittery once again.

After what seemed like an eternity of unintentional teasing, Marinette finally leaned back.

“There, done! As good as new!”

The musician fiddled with his shirt. The tear was masked perfectly by the dexterous white sews, making the shirt as good as new.

Elated, Luka engulfed her in a tight hug, which she gladly returned.

“Thanks again, Marinette. You’ve made my day, really.”

“It’s no biggie Luka,” she giggled, waving him off bashfully.

“No, you need to know,” he held one of her shoulders, using his free hand to tilt her chin up. A shiver of delight ran through him on hearing her breath hitch and her cheeks tinge pink. “I know I’ve said this before, but I will say it again. You’re the most extraordinary girl, Marinette. Clear as a musical note and as sincere as a melody. And —”

"And?” she prompted, her voice a mere whisper.

Luka gulped a bit, the words seemingly dying on his tongue. It had been so easy earlier, but then, he hadn’t fallen that hard. But now? Getting closer to her had made him fall harder. And now, he was in so deep, that the mere thought of rejection terrified him.

He knew she didn’t want to date anyone right now. And that’s why he had kept his feelings to himself. But right now, something in him prodded him to stop being a coward and just, just spill out everything, every single thing he felt about her, cherished about her.

Gathering himself again, he silently whispered, “You’re the music that’s been playing inside my head since the day we first met.”

Marinette gasped a little, her eyes going slightly wide.

Meaningful silence shrouded the two, neither saying anything. But the reality that neither Marinette rejected him nor she pulled away made Luka’s heart beat faster. Maybe, just maybe, there was a slight sliver of hope that she was willing to give him a chance.

They stayed like that, gazing into each other’s eyes. The desire to know her answer was overwhelming him with every passing second. Finally, putting all his stupid anxieties away, he braved himself to ask the question again.

Only to be interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

The couple jerked back in surprise, scooting away from each other to maintain some distance between themselves. Luka turned his gaze to the entrance of the cabin to find a smirking Juleka standing there, holding his jacket in her hand.

He gave her a look that screamed “Oh, how nice your timing was, sis”. She replied by rolling her eyes in return.

Tossing the jacket to Luka and then gesturing towards the deck, Juleka moved upstairs, leaving the two lovebirds alone once more.

“I—uhm,” Marinette started to speak, before her voice trailed off into indistinguishable murmurs.

Tying the sleeves of his jacket around his waist, Luka put his hand in the pants pockets and shook his head lightly. “Guess we should go, they are expecting us upstairs.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He gestured for her to move first. Ducking her head, the designer moved out of the room. As she walked past him, Luka could see her cheeks still dusted in a beautiful pink.

Smiling ruefully, he followed her out, gently shutting the door behind himself.

Awkward silence stretched between them, neither talking to the other. Letting out a sigh at how he nearly managed to get the most wanted answer yet failed, Luka shook his head to drift the thoughts away. He looked up to catch Marinette glancing at him from the corner of her eye. However, as soon as their gaze met, she turned to look forward, not saying anything.

The excited chatter from the deck grew louder and louder as they continued to move up the stairs. However, it was one distinct voice that caught his attention.

“What if she is just playing with his feelings?”

He nearly ran into Marinette, for she had stopped at hearing that voice too.

Why wouldn’t she have? The voice was Lila’s, and the girl was well known for spinning tales regarding Marinette. Though only select people knew that they were actually tales, not reality.

Marinette and Luka stayed where they were, silently listening to the conversation.

“But why would Marinette play with someone’s feelings? She is the one who supports relationships,” Ivan’s gruff voice countered.

“Well,” Lila drawled out, “we know how she was devoted to Ad—”

“Her last crush?” Rose interrupted her all of a sudden. Luka could imagine the look the petite blonde would be giving Lila. Girl code was something sacred after all, he smiled at the thought.

“I— yeah, her last crush. But now he is with someone else and… I really find it hard to believe she moved on this quick. I mean, if she didn’t move on, then she is clearly choosing Luka as a second option, which is not a justice to his feelings. And if she did move on… well, will not she fall out of love for Luka that fast? Is this fair to him?”

Hearing her words, Luka felt just one emotion. Anger. Raw anger at how this lying doll was muddying Marinette’s name and trying to break her apart from him even before they were together. Marinette who was so sweet, so caring— that Marinette playing with someone’s feelings?

It was like claiming the sun to have risen from the west.

But what broke his heart was the silent sob that escaped Marinette. He felt an immediate urge to right her. And if he had to fight fire with fire, then so be it.

Immediately, Luka threw his jacket on Marinette’s shoulders, causing her to turn to him in surprise. Cradling her face in his hands, he swiped a gentle thumb beneath her eyes, wiping her tears away, before whispering, “Trust me on this.”

Saying so, Luka grabbed the girl’s hand. Ignoring her gasp, he marched forward to the deck, squinting a little as the sunlight hit his eyes. He heard a few murmurs go around about how Marinette was wearing his jacket, but the musician paid them no mind. For his entire focus was on defeating the lying doll’s malicious intentions.

“Lila,” he spoke in a calm voice, a very calm voice that caused the mentioned brunette to widen her eyes a bit as she turned to face him, “I am extremely glad that you care about my feelings, but I can assure you that Marinette feels the same about me.”

Everyone sans Lila gasped at the faux revelation. The girl beside him let out a squeak, her grip on his hand tightening all of a sudden.

The Italian squinted her eyes slightly in aggravation, before putting on an innocent expression, “Oh Luka, you don’t need to lie for her sake. You don’t always need to be the ‘Welcome’ doorma—”

“What makes you think I am lying?” He interjected. After all, he wasn’t saying complete white lies, for his next words were going to hold some truth in them.

“You weren’t there, down in the cabin when I confessed to Marinette—” Another series of gasps, along with a slight one from Marinette. That little gasp twinged at his heart in a bitter way, as he realised that she had not realised the truth behind his confession.

But ignoring the agony, Luka continued, “And she returned my feelings. She said so right after Jules left.” Turning to his sister, he asked, “Weren’t you there, Jules?”

“I—yeah. I kind of walked in on them. I told you guys,” the goth girl mumbled.

“There.” Luka shrugged, putting on a smile as he proved his point.

Lila gritted her teeth in anger, giving the musician a sense of satisfaction. But as her expression once again turned pleasant, he knew trouble was bound to come.

“Oh, I don’t know why, I still can’t place a finger on this. How about you to prove it to us here, right now? That you two are actually official?”

Luka couldn’t believe this girl.

Marinette clearly wasn’t comfortable, for her grip shifted in his, her fingers digging into his palm. Her song got those sad undertones too, along with some uncertain notes that highlighted her nervousness even more.

He wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, not at any cost.

As he prepared to give Lila another subtle verbal bashing, someone else spoke up.

“That’s incredibly rude of you to ask, Lila! Love doesn’t always need proof.”

It was Adrien.

Luka looked at the blond with surprise, before a little smile crept on his face. Marinette’s broken state and Kagami’s reprimands must have helped the Agreste boy gain a back bone.

“What do you mean, Adrien?” Lila asked, feigning confusion.

“Love is something that sprouts from within, Lila. An emotion that is always there with you in any form, be it romantic or platonic. One just needs to look for it. And it doesn’t need proof for its existence, for love has been there since creation has been there. Love is what builds this world, after all.”

There was a bout of silence, before the deck broke into an applause. For Adrien’s words had sure impacted everyone. As the now-flabbergasted brunette gazed at the Agreste boy in shock, Luka was thankful that he had finally got some time to think about how he would counter the Rossi girl’s need for proof.

That’s when amidst the applause, a tug at his hand caught his attention.

Looking down, he saw Marinette looking up at him with a pleading face as her nails scratched his palm. She opened her mouth to speak something, before closing it immediately and ducking it low, her cheeks slightly pink.

Luka’s breath caught in his throat, his mind totally puzzled. Did she really want him to —

Lifting her chin, he looked into her shimmering gaze questioningly. She caught his question and she bit at her lower lip tentatively. Her gaze darted around a bit, before it finally focused on him. Something steeled in her eyes and they fluttered close as she leant in.

Taking in her answer, Luka gulped slightly as he leaned in and closed the distance between them.

Brushing his lips with hers, Luka leant back a bit. The kiss would be enough of the proof Lila desired and would also not make Marinette that uncomfortable.

But what surprised him was the pair of lithe arms that wrapped around his neck, before pulling him back into the kiss.

Luka's eyes widened a bit in shock before he melted into the embrace. Their lips glided over each other as his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close to himself. She reached up on her tiptoes, twisting her fingers in his hair and lightly scratching at his scalp.

He was sure he would have turned into a puddle right there, had he not been in the presence of an audience.

After what seemed like only a few moments, the need of air made the two pull back. Breathing heavily, Luka leaned his forehead with Marinette’s. Her breath fanned his face as she looked into his eyes, her own gaze half-lidded.

Blood rushed in his ears. He was sure everyone on the deck could hear his frantic heartbeat. How merely a few fluttering touches and a kiss had turned the sweet, innocent angel into a devious seductress — this was something Luka was completely unaware about.

It felt like time had stopped. They were oblivious to everyone, everything, lost in their own world. But that was when another exploding sound of applause and a wolf-whistle brought the couple back to reality.

Jerking back a little but still not breaking the embrace, Luka and Marinette looked over to see everyone clapping for them. Rose and Mylene were squealing in joy, Juleka and Ivan had a subtle smile on their face, Kagami was beaming and shaking her head slightly as Adrien let out another wolf-whistle.

And Lila? Lila was clapping too, her expression happy, though the shadow on her face narrated an entirely different tale.

As he straightened up, Luka felt Marinette snuggle into his side, his jacket still on her. His heart swelled as he kept his hand on her waist lightly. The musician was glad he had won this battle. That he had shown Lila her place and finally did Marinette some right.

“Marinette, Luka!” Rose squealed, catching the duo’s attention. “I am so happy to see Lukanette is finally sailing now!”

Lukan—what?

Apparently, Marinette shared similar sentiments, for he immediately felt her stiffen up.

Oh goodness. He certainly hadn’t thought this through properly.

“Uhm, thanks?” Marinette squeaked beside him, and he wasn’t sure how he felt — hearing her squeak made his heart soar in the skies as well as plummet into the deep unknown.

An alarm went off, causing Marinette to jerk off him as she opened her side-purse. Fishing her phone out, she looked at it with exasperation before directing a glare at the purse. Turning back to others, Marinette let out a nervous laugh.

“I forgot — bakery — counter manning — got to go! Uhm, see you guys later?”

“Sure,” Luka replied. Maybe being away from him would help her sort out things a bit.

The girl waved awkwardly at the group as she backed away from them. She turned around to dash, but then immediately froze.

Turning back to him, Marinette marched up to him. Before he could even comprehend using his already scrambled brain as to why she had that determined glint in her eyes, the girl held his jaw and leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek.

“See you later,” she whispered, her cheeks a pretty scarlet.

“Uhh, yeah, see you.”

As she sprinted away, Luka dashed off to his own cabin before anyone could speak anything to him.

Not even meditation was going to help him with this freak-out.

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

Text

Song of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 13

Song of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because we gotta convince Tavra to go on a quest for a magic flute! Wait, is this opera suddenly?

Last times in book: Kylan, Naia, Tavra and Gurjin visited Aughra on High Hill to get her help in warning all Gelfling that Skeksis were Bad. She doesn’t help but does give Kylan a random book. The random book (BY RAUNIP!) has a story in it about a magic firca that lets you write multiple things at a time. Also, Gurjin ditches.

Chapter 13

Tavra very, very, very, very reluctantly gets on board the sidequest train. The group finds some caves.

Kylan wakes to Tavra and Naia arguing about Gurjin and considers just pretending to still be asleep until the argument blows over which has to be the second most relatable Kylan moment!

“He left this,” Naia said, showing Tavra a flat stone with a dream-etching in it. Gurjin might not be literate, but he had marked it with a symbol most Gelfling knew, whether they could write or not: his clan’s sigil. The sign of the Drenchen was the whiskered muski, which seemed fitting in trade, since Neech had gone with Gurjin, as they had planned. “It must mean he’s going back to Sog. To my family. He’ll be safe there!”

OKAY wow! Apparently dream-etching is a power that any Gelfling can do! So its not that that keeps people from learning to read and write but so few do that I think maybe the Gelfing just have a super complicated writing system? Since they don’t have to physically write it?

But lets add the ability to psychically burn pictures and words into surfaces as a ability that all Gelfling can do, even if they don’t actually know how to read.

And even if they don’t know how to read, the ability to just burn dots or a clan sigil into things, is incredibly useful.

So Gelfling are all psychic and can all burn stuff into surfaces. And half of them can fly. They’re not quite as hax as Moers’ Wolpertingers but they do get a lot of neat abilities.

Tavra doesn’t buy the argument that Gurjin is safer back at the Sog because it presupposes him managing to reach the Sog and doesn’t buy Naia’s argument that traveling separately makes it more difficult for the Skeksis to capture them all.

But also he has too much of a head start to find so all Tavra can really do is complain, and complain she do.

Also, her wings buzz in irritation. More wing body language!

“We can only hope he will make it to the place he says he will. We’ll have to get him later. Now, come on, get up. We’re making the Black River by nightfall, or so help me.”

Naia crossed her arms and planted her feet.

“No,” she said.

“Excuse me?”

HA! I feel a little bad for Tavra who (spider or not) is trying to herd protagonists like cats when they keep darting off after whatever shiny sidequest they see instead of sticking to the main plot.

“I want to reach Ha’rar, of course, but Rian’s already far along on his way there. In the meantime, you’re not the leader of this traveling party, and I’m tired of you treating us like children you’ve got to watch. Kylan found something in the book Aughra gave him, about a magic firca that might be able to send the message to the Gelfiing. So that is where we’re going. To the Caves of Grot, to look for the firca.”

Tavra gets mad (and her wings spread in anger, body languuuuuage) and throws in Naia’s face all the two times she’d had to rescue them recently but Naia replies “We didn’t ask for your help, and we’d be happy to thank you for it if you weren’t being such a salty kelp-sucker about it.”

Dang, Naia!

Tavra tries to pull rank, being the daughter of the All-Maudra but Naia pulls rank BETTER because she’s also the daughter of a maudra but the direct successor and not a middlest child.

Kylan is uncomfortable that Naia pulled rank to win an argument since it wasn’t the most diplomatic tack but hey, it actually works.

“Fine,” Tavra said. “We’ll have it your way, Drenchen. Let’s go looking for a flute that probably does not exist, and in the meantime, likely be trapped inside a mountain tunnel. But it makes no difference to me. Let’s go to die straightaway!”

She’s incredibly passive aggressive about it though. And it almost starts a fight with Naia but Kylan steps in with the info that the Caves of Grot are conveniently just on the east side of the nearby lake.

Naia proposes the plan that they’ll go around the lake and into the caves. If they find the Grottan, they’ll warn them about the Skeksis and get their help looking for the flute. If not, they’ll look for it themselves.

“And if we don’t find the firca at all?” Tavra asked. “Will you agree to abandon this fool’s quest and go with me to Ha’rar?”

Still not the best attitude, Tavra. But Kylan agrees because if they don’t find it, then he’s really out of ideas and they might as well rejoin the main plot line. But he also adds that if they DO find the firca, they’ll go to Ha’rar right after.

“So either way, Tavra, we will go north. If you give us your help, I think we will be the better for it. Help us find the firca, and we will depart for the capital even sooner.”

Kylan really would prefer that Tavra help them, what with all the skills she has.

[Tavra] started taking down the laundry line. The invincible knots melted in her hands, falling away as if they had never been tied, and for a moment she held the loop of white cord as if considering tying the two of them up and draggin them to Ha’rar.

“Let’s get this over with,” she said.

Pfffft.

Kylan uses the maps in the book to navigate them around the lake. With some difficulty because of the scribbled instructions and blotted ink. And he even frets that maybe Raunip was a madman and that all of this was nonsense.

Naia tells him not to worry (about the difficulty in interpreting the maps, not how maybe this might be fake which he doesn’t mention, nor his anxiety that he’s just clinging to this sidequest to feel important) because they’ve got Tavra and Tavra will help them find the caves if its the last thing she does to get this over and done with.

Kylan wonders how much Tavra must have on her mind and maybe she’s exhausted and in pain after all the Skeksis put her through but Naia tells Kylan not to make excuses for her.

“All that may be true, but none of that means she has to be so rude or mean. Hard-talk is one thing. Treating us like dirt is another. I’m done with it, so if she wants to keep taking out all her hardships on us, she better be prepared for some talk-back.”

Kylan decides though that since Tavra chose to accompany them instead of ditching means that she actually cares despite her attitude.

“Aughra could have done well to be more prepared for talk-back, too, eh?” Naia asked. Kylan chuckled, though his cheeks warmed.

“That was an accident. It just came out like that.”

“I didn’t know you had it in you. I liked it. Someone had to say what we were all thinking.”

Kylan says he’d rather Aughra had given them something but Naia says Aughra gave them a reason to make their own way. But also the cool book. And jokes that she’s starting to get jealous of how much time Kylan is spending with it.

He jokes back that he had to spend his time somewhere while Naia was hanging out with Gurjin.

“Kylan! Don’t say that. If I had to pick between traveling with only one of your two, it would be the one who’s here right now.”

And despite Kylan’s anxiety that its because he needs protecting, Naia has a different reason.

“No,” Naia said. “Because Gurjin and I always see things the same way. If the two of us always traveled together, we would never make it. When I’m with you, I have someone looking out for me from a different perspective. That’s important to me.”

Awww! Best friends!

Oh, and the conversation gets interrupted because Tavra, like Naia suggested, has gone and found the cave just to get this show on the road.

At a place where the beach gives way to cliffs right on the water, there are a bunch of holes dotting the cliffface, even Gelfling-sized caves.

.... I hope to never see a Dark Crystal/Amigara Fault mashup by the by.

Tavra pointed to a place on the cliff above the nearest cave. Hidden under the drooping ferns and creeping water-ivies was a dream-etched Gelfling symbol. The animal pictograph was ancient, eroded, but unmistakable - a flap-winged hollerbat, sigil of the Grottan Gelfling clan.

!! Its the Caves of Grot!

Also, nice to establish that anyone can dream-etch their clan sigil in a casual way in the same chapter that that’s used as a plot point to show the characters are on the right track.

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #Song of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Kylan #Naia #Tavra #updating the quest log

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nad-zeta · 4 years

Note

How’s the most precious girl doin? I’m just here to get a ikesen and maybe ikerev mashup If your ok with that~ Hobbies: - music - comics - bored games - editing - writing My personality: I’m pretty outgoing but I don’t like crowded areas. I like quiet places or just being around a few good friends. I love making people laugh so I’m pretty funny~ and I find it hard to trust others. I’m pretty clumsy and get injured a lot too. I love sweet things and I get distracted super easy. Thx again❤️

Hi, there, dear! I hope you are doing well ❤️ Thanx so much for the request lol! I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

So I match you with.......................... Hideyoshi

The first time you got to Azuchi you and Hideyoshi did not get on well, at all. You were by no mean a quiet, meek lil lamb, so you definitely told Nobunaga how it is. You are loud and outgoing, and not afraid to let your opinions be known. Nobunaga found this to be extremely amusing, and as he went to touch your cheek, you legit slapped his hand away, you may have saved him from a burning building, but he was still a stranger. Hideyoshi was shook to his core, how dare you lay a hand on his lord. He saw red, he staked up to you, hand on the hilt of his sword. You stared him down. The atmosphere around the two of you was thick, just then you spotted a monkey playing in the garden. Like Wft, where did a freaken monkey come from? You watched the monkey play, forgetting all about the tense situation happening around you. Your face lit up in a bright smile when you saw the lil monkey chase around a butterfly man it was so cute.

Hideyoshi cleared his troat still staring you down, shit you got distracted. You started telling him exactly what you thought of him, when all of a sudden, a fawn now appeared in the garden. Like, are these people secret zookeepers or what. You had to resist the urge to run outside and pet the lil cutie. As you were lost in your own world, distracted by the animals, the warlords started laughing and teasing you and Hideyoshi. “Haha, Looks like the lass got distracted again, I told you its boring to listen to your lectures.” “The little mouse certainly is an interesting little thing.” Even Nobunaga laughed “Seems like our new lucky charm has found a way to block out Hideyoshi’s annoying lecture, a skill I wish to learn from her. It might make my candy stealing lectures pass by much quicker.” Hideyoshi legit stood there dumbfounded. Shit, you got distracted again, damn these people and their cool wildlife. You stared up at Hideyoshi, all traces of your anger and frustration had melted away, there is just something about seeing cute animals that just calm you right down. Nobunaga finally decided to chime in telling Hideyoshi to calm the hell down and to leave you be

You worked super hard for the castle and its people, and you loved getting to know all the maids and castle staff. You had a particularly good day one day when you found the castles music room, you were low key surprised at the wide variety of instruments on display. You spotted what looked to be a piano in the corner of the room and couldn’t help but drift to it. Your fingers effortlessly glided along the keys, playing one of your favourite songs. Hideyoshi just so happened to walk past the music room at that exact moment and was awestruck at the beautiful melody you managed to produce. No one around had known how to play the western instrument that Nobunaga had acquired as tribute from his newest ally. He stood for a while and listened to you play.

All of a sudden midway through the song you fell to the ground. Hideyoshi sprinted across the room and cradled you in his arms. It was the first time he really had a look at you. He saw dark rings around your eyes, and your skin was ghostly white. He had been so busy suspecting you and criticising your work that he had looked past the fact that you were working yourself into an early grave. He effortlessly lifted you up into his strong arms and carried you to your room. He carefully tucked you into the futon. It had been a full month, and you hadn’t done anything shady, sure the way you talked was a lil strange but other than that, you were actually just a sweet, kind girl, trying your hardest to fit in. Hideyoshi felt like kicking himself for being such an idiot.

You woke up the next day and was absolutely shook. Hideyoshi came into your room and served you breakfast and tea in bed. You had to rub your eyes to make sure you weren’t dreaming. He then bowed down low and apologise profusely for being such an ass to you. The way he was apologising you could have sworn he killed your firstborn son or something. You just smiled at him and shrugged saying it was cool and there was no hard feeling. Since that day you got to see the true doting mother-hen come out. He took you to the markets and insisted on buying you everything and anything you wanted. You were a little reluctant… that is, until you saw the candy stand. You sprinted to the shop and examined all the small candy treats they sold. Honestly, the thing you missed the most about home was not being able to eat sweets. You looked up at Hideyoshi with puppy dog eyes. He bought the whole shop’s stock, although he restricted your candy intake like he did Nobunaga. Needless to say, you were not happy about that.

One night your sweet tooth was acting up, and you just needed to get your hands on some more candy. You snuck your way to the kitchen, climbed onto the counter and reached up to grab the jar. You got a fright when Nobunaga had climbed up next to you and grabbed the jar at the same time as you. “What are you doing here,” “Same as you fireball, stealing candy cause Hideyoshi has restricted me to only one piece a day, a restriction I find unacceptable of course.” After the two of you had munched on a few handfuls of candy, a familiar light flickered down the hallway and just like that Nobunaga disappeared into the shadows of the night, leaving you with the evidence. Hideyoshi came into the kitchen and saw you with the candy jar in your lap. He literally lectured you for three hours on the importance of not eating too much sugar especially at night, what he didn’t expect is that he would crumble under your puppy dog eyes, as since then he would give you some candy every time you went to visit him for tea. TBH he low key favoured you above Nobunaga giving you sweet candy treats just so he could see that cute smile grace your face

You were definitely giving Hideyoshi more grey hairs than Mitsunari ever could with your clumsiness. If you weren’t falling over your own feet, you were accidentally knocking vases down. It was for this reason that Hideyoshi would insist on holding your hand whenever the two of you went out to the markets. You clumsiness truly knows no bounds as one day Hideyoshi took you to one of his fav tea houses to relax and eat some lunch. You were so engrossed in conversation with the mama bear that when you reached out to take a sip of tea, your fingers slipped spilling piping hot tea all over your lap. You tried to play it cool like you didn’t just burn your legs with the hot as hell tea, but nothing gets past Hideyoshi. In an instant, he was by your side, helping you clean up the mess and dragging you back to his manor to evaluate the damage. You were so freaken embarrassed as he rubbed some salve onto the small burn wound that had formed on your thigh, Hideyoshi simply gave you his bright sunshine smile and patted your head. You found it difficult to trust people, but somehow his man now patting your head had managed to break through all your wall. You didn’t know the exact moment you had fallen for the castles mom, but you were definitely in love.

And Hideyoshi had long ago fallen in love with you. You meant more to him than anyone in the world… well, there is Nobunaga, but he loved you just a lil more than him. He had spent hours watching you draw little pictures in a book. You had told him you were busy writing your own comic book. You had shown him your favourite comic book from the future and told you it had inspired you to make your own.

He got a cool idea of how to ask you to be his lover, when you had one day forgotten one of your comic books in his room. He pulled out a few sheets of paper and started making little sketches with speech bubbles. Finally, his masterpiece was complete. He wasted no time inviting you to his room to give you the gift. You opened the parcel, and your eyes went wide when you saw a small handmade book resembling one of your comics. You opened it up and started to read. It was a book about you and all the things Hideyoshi loved about you, and on the very last page, there was a little doodle of Hideyoshi with a speech-bubble stating that he loves you. You beamed up and him and jumped into his arms.

The two of you were the sweetest most doting couple. You want cuddles and snuggles Hideyoshi has got you. You and Hideyoshi have made it a tradition to have a weekly board game night where neither of you is allowed to focus on work. You know Hideyoshi has a tendency to overwork himself, so you designed this night to help him relax, plus you freaken loved playing board games. Most of the time you would sit in his lap while the two of you played. He would rub your back or gently stroke your hair as the two of you were played. You would make jokes and chat about your days. TBH it was often that these board game nights would lead to something *ahem* a little more steamy.

This man will pamper you day in, and day out, whether it is running you nice warm bubble baths or massaging your back after a long day of work, you can definitely expect to be spoilt rotten. Expect lots of soothing head pats and forehead kisses. His man will also give you a flurry of small lil kisses every time he sees you. His favourite is when you rest your head on his thigh while he gently strokes your hair while working. You truly love this big mother hen, and your fav is to be in his arms, cuddling him for hours on end.

Other potential matches.............. Sasuke

Hope you enjoyed it, dear! 🥰

#ikesen matchup #match ups #matchups #hideyoshi matchup #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #toyotomi hideyoshi #ikesen hideyoshi #hideyoshi toyotomi

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annak47hq · 5 years

Text

see you again’ flashback’ anam

Who: Adam Levine and Anna Kendrick @alcvinehf

What: Its been two years since Brittany's party, two years since Anna and Adam have seen each other. Anna has come on the Voice again to promote the third pitch perfect movie but also to talk to Adam about why hes never called

Where: The set of The Voice

When: November 22nd, 2017

Triggers: slight nsfw

Mentions: Ben Richardson, Kelly Jakle, people of the voice, Brittany Snow, the cast of Pitch perfect 3

Anna: It had been two years since Anna had seen Adam, two years since she and him had a make out session on Brittany's couch in her guest room. She and Ben were still dating, but things weren't going great, as usual and that was probably Anna's fault. Pitch Perfect 3 had come and gone, and while The Voice was still happening the girls were invited to work on a little mash up with the contestants. She always wondered what Adam was doing, how he was doing, and why he never called her after that night. Sure they were complete strangers back then, and still complete strangers today, but the brunette was going to act as professional as possible. Once arriving on set, and changing into a deep v neck dress, going braless, with leather jackets and heels Anna was sitting in her chair. As the director told Anna that it was almost time to preform, the actress smiled big and then noticed that Brittany and Kelley were walking toward her, though from the corner of her eye, there he was. Still looking perfect, and more attractive than before, Anna pushed her hair behind her ears. "So um, so I'm doing this verse first?" Anna questioned Carson, the host of the show, and the music video that they were doing.

Adam: Two years. Two years and so much had changed. He and Anna had become complete strangers all over again after that party, and Adam had never called her after that night. He and Behati had patched things up in their marriage long enough to stay together, conceive their daughter, have her and then celebrate her first birthday very recently a little over two months ago. However, it had recently broken that they had filed for divorce and Adam was now single, attempting to find his footing the best that he could as a single father to a very recent turning one year old. The cast of Pitch Perfect was back on the set of The Voice today and Adam could feel it in the pit of his stomach, this wasn’t going to be good, especially after not seeing Anna. Once she had caught wind of him, he was standing against the wall with his arms crossed as his team members had come and gone to talk to him before the shoot started, but his eyes were completely fixated on Anna as she talked to Carson.

Anna: Anna didn't keep tabs on Adam, sure Brittany would bring him up in a conversation or two whenever they were together, but the actress ignored it. Still keeping her pregnancy scare to herself, Ben ended up proposing to her a little while after Brittany's party had happened. Though, their engagement only lasted for two days since Anna just simply wasn't ready. Only a few people knew, and she was surprised on how well that was kept a secret too. Ben was here today, he was here, but he was in the wings talk to the people who worked behind the scenes. Carson nodded his head "Yeah, you're gonna sing this verse with Camp and Snow." Anna nodded, and Kelley noticed that Adam was starring. Getting out of her chair, Anna fixed her dress a bit, and pushed the sleeves up on her leather jacket. Walking over to the refreshments table, Anna grabbed a water bottle and took a breath. Anna knew that Adam was standing a few feet away from her, but she didn't look at him. Only for a spit second, just to get a glimpse to see if he was weather that same leather jacket.

Adam: Anna had completely left his mind after that party that night and sure—he felt like an asshole for a while for not calling her but there was a small voice inside of him. They were complete strangers, had barely known each other. Adam was struggling in his personal life as well as the same had gone with Anna, and maybe it was better that way. Clearing his throat, Adam was still watching Anna as she makes her way to the refreshment table. He doesn’t move much, but when the cue had come for him to get ready to head back to his seat, he just nodded and adjusted his jacket. “Yeah, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Anna: Anna didn't know how to act around him, they only made out for a few minutes and she barley knew him, but for whatever reason Anna was acting like a stupid teenager. Taking a sip of her water bottle, Anna pushed her hair out of her face again and closed her eyes for a few moments when she heard his voice. Walking behind him, Anna cleared her throat "So um, I think Carson said someone from Adam's team is singing with Britt, Anna and I at the end?" Anna questioned the team, and then looked at Adam, now standing next to him.

Adam: He hears her behind him, slowly creeping up behind him and Adam clears his throat. Right now, he’s trying to keep a level-headed and a clear and open mind as he continues to talk with his team members that were performing with the cast, and as he turns to finally make way back to his seat, his eyes stop on Anna because they’re face to face now. Staring at her, he clears his throat. “Hey.”

Anna: Taking a breath, Anna didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to act right now, trying to be professional Anna just looked at the members of his team and introduced herself. Laughing with one of them, Anna swallowed hard and bit down on her lips "Hi." Was all she could say right now, Anna pushed her hair out of her face and looked into his eyes, something she figured out she loved doing "How um.., how are you?"

Adam: Adam is trying his best to keep that open and clear mind, but with Anna in front of him, in that outfit and how she /looked/ right now, he was finding it absolutely impossible to do so. “I, uh...I’m good.” He says, nodding his head. “I’m good, yeah. How are you doing?”

Anna: Kelley was standing in the corner, with her arms folded across her chest while starring at Anna, and Adam. Taking a breath, Anna saw Kelley from the corner of her eye and the actress cleared her throat "That's good. I hear you have a daughter now?" Anna questioned, bitting down hard on her lips "I'm fine." Anna said, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat. She didn't know why she was getting so emotional right now, clearing her throat one again, Anna took a sip of her water bottle "Can we um.." Shaking her head, she stopped herself.

Adam: “Yeah. I do.” He nods his head, but is smiling at the thought now of his one year old daughter. “Dusty. She’s one,” He says, and for a moment, he doesn’t know why he’s telling Anna this, out of all people. He looks at her for a few moments, but gestures to the stage. “Yeah, I...sorry, I just wanted to check in before you guys performed.”

Anna: Smiling at the thought of Adam having a daughter, the actress licked her lips. She still didn't know him that well, but the thought of Adam with kids made her heart melt and Anna took another sip of her water bottle, almost finishing it. "Dusty? That's a unique, but cute name." Anna said, pushing her hair behind her ears now, wanting so badly to pull it back into a low pony tail. Shaking her head, Anna sighed "It's fine, but no.. I.. can we go somewhere and talk, maybe?" Anna questioned, looking at him.

Adam: “Ellen helped with it...or well, texted us it, really.” He says, still looking at her now. He clears his throat again, still almost gesturing toward the stage before looking back at her. “Oh, uh...yeah, I...sure.” He says, “After you perform and the shows over? We can meet backstage and go to my trailer or something?”

Anna: "Of course she did." Anna said, laughing a little. When he clears his throat, Anna licked her lips and nodded her head "Yeah, that.., that's fine."

Adam: “Okay,” Adam nods his head, and then taps back and forth on his heels for a moment. It’s clear that he’s nervous about what this talk was going to entail, but he didn’t want to think about it until later when the show was over, when the girls were done performing and when he absolutely and utterly had to. “Good luck out there then.”

Anna: She didn't know why she wanted to talk, Ben was here and it was surprising to her that Anna wanted a minute alone with Adam. Though, she had to preform first and the actress new it was going to take a long time probably. Once the music started, and Carson yelled action, the actress took a breath began to sing. Once they were finished however, the women loved the turn out and she went over to the refreshments stand to get another water bottle. Ben was still talking to people behind the scenes, and Anna tried to find Adam "Hey." She said quietly, once turning around to see him standing there.

Adam: Out of everything that Adam could have said to Anna in that moment, he had settled with “good luck out there then” over anything else and it made him feel awkward...and, for the lack of a better word? Stupid, dumb. However, everyone from the cast had performed with a video backdrop that they had shot over the last couple of days for the mashup of songs from the new movie, and Adam was curious on why Anna had wanted to talk to him now, after the show. It had been over two years since the two had seen each other last and they had very clearly gotten over it and became strangers once again, after the party that night with one another. He was backstage to meet her, and as she turned at the refreshments and crafts table with all of the food and drinks for everyone, Adam bit down on his lower lip and began to smile a little. “Hey,” He says back, gesturing toward the exit where everyone would go to the back, outside for everyone’s trailers. “So, uh...my trailers out there, if you still want to...” He clears his throat. “If you still want to talk.”

Anna: Anna wasnt nervous to preform, shes done it so many times, but this would be one of the first times Adam had heard her sing and maybe the actress wanted to show off a little. However when he told her good luck, Anna laughed at him and laughed nervously. She told him thanks, then walked over to kiss Ben before actually starting. When they finished, Anna wanted to talk to Adam but she wanted to get out of here too. It had been two years and she knew nothing about him still, other than the fact had he never called her and he had a daughter now which explains. Taking a breath as he told her about her trailer, Anna smiled and smirked “Lead the way.”

Adam: For some reason, watching Anna kiss Ben out of the corner of his eye had infuriated Adam. This was the same guy that she was with from the party a little over two years ago, that had no problem not only calling her a bitch but then disappearing after flirting most of the night with some blonde chick. Snickering to himself and then shaking his head in return to her thanking him, he turns and walks away too. However, when the girls of the cast had finished performing, he couldn’t deny that they had all done great and after his mingling around when the show had cut from the cameras and finished up, he ran his hand through his hair and was face to face with Anna backstage after a bit to lead her to his trailer like she had asked. After a few moments, he had led her up the stairs of his trailer and opened the door to let her in first, before closing it behind the both of them. “So, uh...” Adam says, clearing his throat with a sigh. “What’s up, Anna, how are you? I didn’t really think, or...well, /know/ that we had much of anything to talk about.” He says, plopping down in the couch in his trailer as he turned to get comfortable and look over at her, up at her too.

Anna: Sure she and Ben had their ups and downs, but what relationship didn't? Anna loved him, she was in love with him and it was bothering her that she was keeping her pregnancy scare a secret from him. However, that night at the party Anna wished she had at least told someone, maybe even Adam. But she didn't, and Anna felt like she should today. Watching as Adam ran his hands through his hair, the women wondered why he was so attractive by just doing that. Licking her lips and clearing her throat, Anna followed him to his trailer. Seeing as the singer plopped himself on the couch, Anna cleared her throat "I'm fine. I'm.., I just.. look I was going through something when we..." Stopping herself, Anna shook her head "You didn't call.." Anna said, joking a little but as being half serious.

Adam: Raising an eyebrow, Adam couldn’t help but to chuckle to himself at Anna’s words. They had become strangers again, they had barely known each other the night of that party at Britt’s and the same had gone for right now. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Not my business and shit to be worried about or to get into.” Shaking his head, his eyebrow raises and he looks back at her. “Come on. Don’t tell me you’re hung up that I didn’t call. You had a boyfriend, you still do.”

Anna: As he raises his eyebrows, Anna took a breath and bit down hard on her lips. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Anna listened to him talk and she sighed "Right, yeah, right." Shrugging her shoulders, Anna looked at him "Yes, I have a boyfriend." Anna said, and took a few moments, she didn't know what else to say. Anna wanted to tell at least someone about the scare, but now she wasn't sure if Adam was the right person. "I had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop you.." Anna said, now looking him with her arms folded across her chest now

Adam: He doesn’t say anything, because to him? Well, to him, there was nothing left to say at all and Adam was left wondering again why Anna was here in his trailer at all. Clearing his throat, he’s still staring at her. “I’m sorry, what? You mean your boyfriend, who probably fucked the blonde bimbo he left to talk to, /instead/ of you? Yeah. Great boyfriend.” He chuckles to himself again, “It didn’t, you’re right. It didn’t seem to stop you either.”

Anna: Anna didn't understand why she was getting frustrated that he didn't call, maybe it was because she sat there at the phone like an idiot waiting. Maybe it was because she liked the idea of him, and she liked how he was different from any other guy she's been with. Letting out a shaky breath, Anna's eyes widened and she shook her head "Fuck you, you don't know that. You don't know me, and you don't know Ben. He wouldn't do that." Anna listened to him laugh a little, and she sighed "Like I said, I was going through something and I needed a distraction that night."

Adam: “Look, you’re right again. I don’t know you and I don’t care to know Ben.” Adam runs his hands through his hair and lets out a heavy sigh. “Is it? You got it, so are you seriously fucking hung up that I didn’t call you? Anna, we kissed. Like teenagers experimenting or some shit for the first time, we kissed. You’re acting like we were fucking.” He continues to look at her from where he’s sitting on the couch. “We didn’t, and we never will. You done now?”

Anna: As he runs his fingers through his hair, for some reason the smallest things turned her on, especially when /he/ did /that/. With her arms still folded against her chest, now holding onto them however to comfort herself Anna looked at him "I'm not acting like we were..." Stopping herself, now if was Anna's turn to raise her eyebrows at him "You're such a fucking asshole. I don't know why I thought.." Shaking her head, Anna couldn't help but laugh "You know, you're right. We won't."

Adam: “You /are/. You don’t know me either, Anna. You know nothing about me.” Letting out a small sigh, Adam leans up a little off of the couch cushion but he’s still looking at Anna as she stares back at him. When she laughs in return now, his eyebrows are still raised. “Great, so, we’re done? What did you think this was gonna accomplish, Anna? I didn’t call you so we had to talk about it two years later?”

Anna: "I don't know anything about you, yes but that night I just.." Stopping herself again Anna watched as he leans up off the couch. His beautiful eyes looking into hers, and Anna felt like she /was/ a teenager. Anna felt like she was getting butterflies in her stomach with him just looking at her. "No. We're not done. I want to know why you didn't call? Doesn't matter if I had a boyfriend or not. You said you were going to call." Anna began and then continued with "What if we did end up fucking that night, were you going to call?" Anna questioned, now letting her hair fall in her face while walking closer to him. She was still in that low cut black dress, with no bra and her leather jacket. She was getting hot, taking her jacket off, Anna walked closer to him "Were you going to call?" Anna questioned

Adam: “You really are acting like a teenager right now. It’s really unsettling.” He mumbles back, watching her. He ends up clearing his throat as he does so, because she’s taking her jacket off and she’s still in the same outfit from the show, the one that he couldn’t take his eyes away from. As she walks closer and he leans his back against the couch cushions again, he’s glaring at her now. “No.” He finally says, still glaring at her.

Anna: "I'm acting like a teenager?" She questioned, annoyed now that he was even comparing her to one. If only he knew her as a teenager, /this/ was not how she acted as a teenager "I was working when I was a teenager." Anna laughed a little, and then looked at him while he clears his throat and leans back into the couch again "No?" She questioned, getting turned on more and more.

Adam: “You...” Adam stops himself, letting out a laugh as he leans his head against the cushion now and looks up at the ceiling for a few moments. She didn’t understand what he was trying to get at with the comparison, and he didn’t feel like getting into an argument with her. Looking back at her though, his voice hardens. “/No/.”

Anna: While he laughs, Anna unfolds her arms while smirking. Watching him look up at the ceiling, Anna knew exactly what Adam meant when he told her she was acting like a teenager. With the change of tone in his voice however, Anna sits on his lap now, pulling the dress down and off of her shoulders "No?" She questioned, holding his face and kissing him softly "You would't of called?" She whispered, almost forgetting she wasn't wearing a bra at the moment.

Adam: It’s another time where he clears his throat, because Anna’s sudden move has caught him off guard. She didn’t have a bra on under that low-cut dress and as she sat in his lap, the look in his eyes quickly changed as she kissed him and he continued to stare at her, his eyes locked on her own. “No,” He repeats, his breath against her lips for a moment. “Waste of time.”

Anna: Starting to breath heavy now, while she was sitting on his lap Anna kissed him one more time "You sure about that?" She questioned, now bitting her lips but now covering her boobs with her arms. Swallowing hard, Anna pressed her forehead against hers "I needed a distraction that night. You were."

Adam: His own breath is heavy, matching hers. His eyes are darting back and forth between her own, inside of what to do next, but when she covers her boobs with her arms instead, he shakes his head. “Don’t,” He says, reaching forward. “Just kiss me,”

Anna: As he tells her not to cover her breasts, Anna bits her bottom lip but then smiles softly. For some reason, ever since he kissed her that night Anna couldn't get the taste of his lips off of hers. No matter how many times she's kissed Ben. It was like she was hooked, hooked onto the fact that Anna knew nothing about him but /wanted/ to. Breathing heavy within the kiss, Anna deepened the kiss and pressed her forehead against his "Ben didn't.. he didn't cheat on me." Anna said, still placing her lips on his "He's not that kind of person." Anna felt shitty, but she looked at Adam now "Wait are.., you and um, you and your wife?" She questioned

Adam: He leans a little so his lips are pressed into her own, licking along her lower lip as she deepens the kiss. He tries to do the same, but before he knows it, her forehead is against his own and he shakes his head. “Divorced,” He whispered, breath heavy as he brings his hands forward to pull her closer. “Kiss me...” He whispers once more.

Anna: Moaning within the kiss, Anna's breath became heavier and heavier. She wanted him, but Ben was back in the sound stage and Anna pushed the thought aside. As he pulls her closer, Anna nodded when he told her that him and his wife are divorced. With her hair falling in her face, on her lips Anna kissed him, but then pushed her hair behind her ears "Two years." She whispered

Adam: “Mmm...” He groans against her lips, not wanting to think about the time that it had been since they kissed last. Once again, they had barely known each other and they were making out in his trailer, on the couch. He had leaned up against her again, his lips still pressing into hers to kiss her back. He deepens the kiss quickly and shifts his hand, sliding it up the fabric of the dress that had been pulled down. He’s just about to touch her until the knock on the door pulls him out of it, and he groans again. “Fuck,” He mumbles. “Every time we’re in this position,”

Anna: Couldn't believe it's been that long, Anna felt like it hasn't even been two years since she's last seen him but it has. Breathing heavy, the women realized that a /lot/ has changed for the two within those two years. Swallowing hard, she kissed him deeply, but got chills all up and down her body as his hand was sliding up the fabric of her dress. Whining a little as he groans and stops kissing her, Anna laughs a little but looks at him "Who is it?" She questioned, now getting a bit nervous. Anna pushed her hair out out of her face and sighed.

&FINISHED

#/*paragraphs*/#/*please don't ever become a stranger: adam levine*/#/*nobody baby but you and me: adam levine*/#/*baby daddy: adam levine*/#/*adam levine*/#{chatzys}#{chatzy: 46}#hfrpmc #just in case

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megatentious · 5 years

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My lengthy defense of the most hated Persona game

Here’s my grand defense for the most hated game in the series: Persona 1, AKA Revelations: Persona. I know it’s too late to try and rehabilitate the game’s reputation on the internet, but I’m hoping that by rambling in modestly structured form for a bit, at least some folks might be able to look at Persona with a fresh perspective. It would be cool if everyone could try to understand what the game did so well and why it resonated so strongly with me and 2 or so other people. If you are the kind of person that thinks games age and become archaic, then I probably don’t have any hope of reaching you, but still, try to put yourself in the right mindset and approach the game on its own terms, and maybe you’ll discover something quite special.

So, Persona. Persona does very interesting things with choice. As the first Megaten rpg released in America, the negotiation system was a revelation (har har), providing the choice to talk your way out of battles and into rewards is a natural D&D element that never got a foothold in countless videogame conversions of the game, and in the first Persona these elements are at their peak. With every demon having four moods, four series of animation and four sets of voiced sound effects, the expanded options really let you get into the headspace of the demons you’re conversing with, unlike traditional SMT’s more spare binary system. Getting into the thick of things with complex sets of reactions (Joy + Interest, that’s what’s up) makes for a fun simulation.

The theme of choice is also really built into the game’s fabric, it’s the reason why in old usenet postings, Persona was recommended to folks who were fans of Gold Box games, during a time when RPG labels were more porous and that sneaky “J” hadn’t yet latched itself omnipresently to the term. Choice here also extends to the fifth character in your party, a friendly way to promote replay value without new game plus, and certain choices locking you out of giant chunks of the game, an unfriendly way of getting you through the game again. In a world though where developers are desperate to ensure that gamers experience all content (so many buzzwords!), the chutzpah of Persona being willing to lock you out of huge swathes of the game is something I actually admire.

It’s easy to underestimate the impact of the modern day setting in a post Persona 3/TWEWY/Alpha Protocol world, but dungeons that were hospitals and police stations and high school students snarling “EAT THIS” with MIGs in pitched street battles felt revelatory. Exploring the comically low-rent polygonal city (is this another reference to the abstracted icons of SMT1 and 2 world maps?) was actually fun, as ridiculous as waiting for traffic to pass might seem. There are also many complaints about the first person perspective dungeons, even though the rest of the game is third person, but the setting variety is nice and many of the wall patterns are quite evocative (Deva Yuga looks like Persepolis!)

The game also does PSX-era philosophizing in a tasteful and generally thoughtful way, while contemporaries were drawing from Evangelion, Persona looked to Zhuangzi and Jung. Not very high-falutin, true, but at least middle brow enough such that my 14 year old Sophie’s World reading self was entranced. The game has something neat to say about loneliness and identity and the way we construct the world around ourselves (all hinted at in the moody intro. The story is very nice and very Kaneko, even if he’s overestimating the literary quality in this interview, I’m very fond of it and it is my franchise favorite.

Here’s where I alienate the remaining people who might have been on board with me so far: if you ignore the loss of the Snow Queen Quest, a 20 hour alternate version of the story that takes place in a series of SMT:If... like towers, Revelations: Persona is actually the superior game. “Lunarvale,” a hodgepodge of America and Japan cobbled together by localizers attempting to mask the game’s origins, is actually more weird and interesting than the Mikage-cho that appears in Persona PSP. This bizarre mashup, combined with a nonsense translation attempt, somehow manages to better fit the lurid dreamscape vibe the original developers were going for. I can’t undersell how one-of-a-kind and wonderfully unsettling the game’s atmosphere is in the PSX version, and this is helped along of course by the sound.

Here are excerpts from some things I wrote on the music in this game:

Revelations: Persona has the best soundtrack in the franchise, possibly the best soundtrack ever made. In raw quantitative terms it's ridiculous, 113 songs and 3 hours of music without being looped, and all without doing Persona 2's trick of repeated (but still awesome!) remixes. Two majorly sweet leitmotifs for the two major quests, employed creatively and thoughtfully, four fantastic composers on four discs, cohesive and thematically coherent when by all rights it should feel disjointed as fuck, this is a generous OST!

Hidehito Aoki (R.I.P.) composed the dungeon music, which is exquisite. Lengthy songs that are moody, elegant, just plain beautiful and get you PUMPED! The iconic Deva Yuga Monochrome: School Revisited Dream-like, synthy, catchy, beautiful, quintessential Persona sound. Pandora's Den (Deepmost Area): The climax at 1:12! Ice Castle/Black Snow The twists and turns in this one, so effing good. Sebek Music, Karma Palace 90's music is the best!!! Misaki Okibe's range is ridiculous, she composed some of the most memorable, interesting tracks in the whole game. Reverse Dream World: You think you have this song figured out in the first few seconds, but stick around to see where it suddenly veers off to around :30, hilarious and awesome. Theme of Nemurin's Love: The intro! The power of a simple lovely melody, a little Uematsu-esque. Augustia's Wood: The save music, so memorable, I love the grumbling. City 2 Accident: Do you remember wandering the streets in the town, disoriented, listening to this gorgeousness, thinking about how Lunarvale suddenly seemed so scary, like an unsettling dream? Bar Attacked by Harem Queen: A bit of jazzy beauty. And most important of all of course, Misaki Okibe is the composer of the Pharmacy Music, featuring vocals by one Hidehito Aoki of all people. Satomi Tadashi Drugstore Song In our heads forever, teaching us about item use since 1996.

More alienating for readers who have gotten this far: the “whitewashing” character designs were all improvements, Kazuma Kaneko redrew everything himself and it’s easy to tell that a lot of thought was put into the redesigns. Finally, Mark is also >>>> Masao, everyone’s always yelling about the jive-talking but to me he came across as quite smart and savvy. I dunno, maybe this is just a Flavor of Love/Outsourced minorities just wanna see themselves effect operating here, leave me alone you guys! So yes, the franchise’s current fanbase might not be fond of them, but the cast is comprised of characters that are meant to be iconic and not friends you wish you had in real life, a cast that, FFVI-like, is meant to evoke broader themes and not follow the typical arcs of many RPGs these days. Check out the classiness of Yuki’s design, and allow me to quote some more stuff on how Tsuchiya, master of the character theme, nails it for each party member.

The sign of a good character theme is when you can extrapolate from instrument choice and melody to personality. Here Tsuchiya is the man, no one does it better this side of Uematsu. I hear these songs and I've got a perfect picture in my mind of each cast member. It's what I think of when I think of "videogame music" ha, here are my personal favorites, I could listen to these endlessly. Mary/Maki: Cheerful, just a hint of melancholy in the notes, love that slap bass. Yuki: Starts a bit slow, but soon we learn that Yuki's cool but determined. Alana: The song tells me she's brassy, energetic, fun. Chris/Reiji: Dangerous, exciting, a bad-ass delinquent. Ellen/Elly: Classy, elegant, confident.

Some also rag on the dungeon design, but it seems unfair to expect centerpiece labyrinths along the lines of Strange Journey or Etrian Odyssey in a game going for something completely different. Nevertheless, you’ve got tricky mazes with dead ends that test resource allocation skills and provide a sense of accomplishment. Encounters are tough and require thought, careful consideration of when to flee and negotiate is imperative for dungeon survival. This is something that gets lost a bit in the PSP remake as the encounter rate is increased but battles are a bit easier. Exploiting elemental weaknesses isn’t as elegant as in later games, but with a ludicrously high 14 damage types breadth supersedes depth. And there’s even a positioning system to consider that the developers decided to drop from later games rather than refine. In the end, surviving the dungeon and beating the boss is an RPG staple that just plain works, although yes you will probably grit your teeth at some of the loading times.

And finally, you don’t have to take my random word for it. Parish really liked it too! How’s that for an appeal to authority?

For series buffs, it’s fun to trace this game’s historical lineage, as one of the earlier spinoffs of Shin Megami Tensei, it's easy to spot the mainline series influence: the occultism of the opening ritual, the hospital as first dungeon, the first person perspective for dungeon travel, BLUE POINTER MAN, and the omnipresent danger of demons in town and dungeon alike. Revelations: Persona is drawing from a rich and storied history, but manages to recast SMT traditions in interesting new directions. Again, the atmosphere is really unbelievable and something I haven’t come across in other games. It’s more than a simple curiosity and it doesn’t deserve dumb dismissal or sneering derision for its flaws. Revelations: Persona is a real marvel, modern games ought to draw more inspiration from its lessons, and the game belongs in the RPG canon, there I said it!

#persona #revelations persona #persona 1 #unjustly maligned

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rksxngyeol · 6 years

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mga4: episode 6 || team c vista || lee sungyeol, #4030

hola hola by kard || line distribution || outfit

with @rkjei, @danielxrk, @rkguanlin, @irenerk and @hyunark

last place. not even second to last. dead last. they were vocally strong. but sure maybe their mashup wasn’t as strong as the others. wasn’t as appealing as the others. five became three. it was painful listening to the judges- the ceos- call their group boring. one trick ponies, effectively. sure, that may have been it, but they were working to their strengths. they were vocalists, not strong dancers. he wants to yell out that its unfair, he wants to yell out why, he wants to tell them that they’re wrong about them, and yet he just hangs his head low. he felt tears prickling his eyes, and he had stolen a look at yongsun and yoojung. yongsun seemed quiet and yoojung was in tears. he had to be the strong one. seeing his teammates go home, he felt sad and even with a wild card promise, it was still painful. he would try and be of use to his new team, after all he couldn’t let the dread of being dead last again get him down.

of course that was easier said than done. his gloominess over the eliminations and even all things netizens say about him, just kind of weighed down on him all week. sure, he tried to be positive. but it’s still hard for him. his new team is nice. but this is his first time meeting them all. hyuna, jei, daniel, guanlin and rose. they are all so nice to him, but he still hesitated. he didn’t know why he hesitated. maybe it was because he didn’t want to drag the team down. but it’s so easy to fall into this team. he loves his old teams, he cries for everyone eliminated and he cheers on everyone. but can he even cheer himself on when it’s needed?

as they’re talking, sungyeol just quietly watching and listening. they were talking team names, and of course, captain summerica gets suggested and he can’t help but laugh. the image of captain america as a surfer entered his mind and he just kept laughing while raising a thumbs up to second the idea. “i love it,” he said. that was probably his first smile of the week. sungyeol didn’t realize it then, but it would be one of many. of course, it got shot down by the girls. he then pondered what it could be. he voices his suggestion. “vista. we could be team vista. it meant pleasant view and we are fairly attractive team,” he said, clarifying his reasoning. of course, he’s expecting it to get shot down, but everyone seems to like it. first victory of the week? awesome. things are going good. so far so good. their leader is chosen as daniel since everyone else have already done the leadership thing, and sungyeol offers him a thumbs up. good on dnaiel for stepping up, he thinks, since guanlin seemed so desperate to not be leader. he found his team fairly interesting. they were a mishmash of personalities but somehow it was all working. they then decided on the song, sungyeol of course trying to get his suggestions with sistar’s touch my body and chichi’s party since he was a fan of both groups, but the song once again was decided according to their strengths. kard’s hola hola was complimentary and after listening to it, sungyeol found himself in agreement.

practice was uneventful. they did their lines, their choreo parts. rose and jei had taken on teaching the choreo on a more one on one basis and sungyeol was thankful, because he didn’t have much skill with dancing. maybe this week would be easy.

a day or two later, sungyeol lost count, they had decided to do the splits as a sort of bonding activity. normal teams would play games and stuff to bond…but the splits? well that is something. rose went down in a full split, and sungyeol clapped with a laugh. it was no surprise that the dancers would be really good at the splits. hyuna was allowed to stay out of it and sungyeol watched as guanlin and daniel tried, with a….varying level of success. it was almost ridiculous. however when it was his turn, he dropped into a full split with ease. he wasn’t a dancer but he practiced a lot at home and since he was tall, manner legs were a thing. he rubbed the back of his neck with a grin. “the splits help me concentrate when I’m drawing. ” he said, with a grin. Finally when jei drops into a full split, he claps for her success. he’s not shocked.

wednesday and the camera relay bring up some unwanted thoughts in his head. he’s reminded of his family and how his grandfather turned him away completely, telling him he couldn’t save his wife, telling him that he was trash and then taking his daughter because the future heir wasn’t allowed to be around trash. the conversation with daniel helps a bit but regardless, sungyeol spends the day in a daze. he’s the first to leave because he can’t handle it anymore. he ends up crying at home. hes back in thursday but it seems that his mood isn’t as bad. he goes through practice, singing and dancing and in the middle of the day, during lunch, he sings the shark song happily hoping to entertain.

d-day comes. sungyeol felt ready and he’s hopeful that it will ultimately go well. he hopes that he can execute the part well that he’s switched with daniel. heseager to see himself stand at the end of all this victorious. sungyeol wants royal so much. he takes a deep breath to calm his thoughts and his heart. he needs to be calm. team b finishes their performance, and it was finally their turn. third to perform. he’s eager to show that he belongs here. he has to prove that chasing his dreams is important. that he’s not a one trick pony. that he’s not filler. that he’s not trash. they take their spots on the stage and introduce themselves brightly. “hola hola, we’re team vista!” it’s a cute introduction and they had come up with the idea that their individual intros would have something to do with the time of day, since vista meant a pleasant view in any time of day. when it was his turn, he playfully winked. “like a cool evening breeze, my voice will cool you down. i’m #4030, lee sungyeol!”

sungyeol is the one who opens the song, so once they take their spots and the music starts, he’s counting himself in his head and right on cue, starts singing. his voice is a husky rockers voice but he manages to still stay bright and summery as he sings.

gibun joge naerijjoeneun haessal maju bomyeonseo utgo inneun geudaewa na neomu joa ireoke maeil ireokeman haengbokhameul gyesok angyeojullae kkaego shipji aneun kkumman gata

he tries to supress a giggle at the jeina fanservice because it’s super cute. over the course of the week, hes found his perspective of hyuna shattered. at first he had thought her as this perfect trainee and it came to that she wasn’t. she was super nice. they had talked a bit and sungyeol was happy to essentially considerher a friend to him. he watched everyone dance and perform. they decided that they would be split up into pairs for a part of the song and sungyeol was with jei. the choreographywas simple and after the chorus, he watched jei sing.

this was where the pairs came in when the lines split off. they danced together and their thing was that he was like a romantic partner. he does a casual body roll, working it into the steps with a cheeky grin.

daraolla olla All night long

the next quirk in their choreography comes with rose’s rap part. sungyeol watches as she drops into the full splits all while rapping and hes grinning widely feeling really happy. then comes guanlin with his rap part. it was a group decision to give the kid the harder part so that he could shine and show off his skills and prove to the netizens that he belonged up there. sungyeol was really proud of the kid. he had come a long way this week and he managed to shine. they split off for lines again. it was easy.

daraolla olla All night long

naraolla olla jeo wiro

then came the part that daniel and sungyeol switched and he hoped that he could nail the higher register. his hopes came in good and he nailed that high note with his husky voice.

ireoke yeongweoni utge haejweoyo Hola Hola Hola Hola

they finished off the song and took their final poses. it was a good ending. as they came off the stage they said their genius outro. “hasta la vista, baby!” he grinned. it meant see you soon and hopefully this wouldn’t be a final goodbye for them.

just maybe, they could be the top. “good job guys. here’s to hoping that we did well.” he said, grinning. he felt good.

#rkmga4summer #rkmga4 #danielxrk #rkguanlin #irenerk #hyunark #rkjei #yccjungrk #rkyngsun #because mentioned xd #lyrics added!#w:1515 without the lyrics

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rkxhyunjin · 6 years

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✧ MGAS SEASON FOUR: GROUP PERFORMANCE - SUMMERTIME

team universe’s performance of exo’s love me right for the summertime group performance of episode 6 with hwang hyunjin rapping

＃４００３（　kim junmyeon　）　＃４０１０（　joo haknyeon　）　＃４０１２（　kim yongsun　）＃４０３３（　lee luda　）　＃４０３９（　minatozaki sana　）　＃４０４２（　hwang hyunjin　）

preparation: ( july 31 ) ( camera relay ) ( august 2 )

Despite riding high after placing third the week before, Hyunjin only lets himself celebrate the accomplishment for a brief period.

Third place was the highest he had achieved to date, and the first time he wasn’t walking away with one less teammate. Given those two circumstances, it was hard for him to be anything but exuberant. However, as happy as Hyunjin was with his progress, by no means was third place the best. Indeed, it left much room for improvement. A challenge that the dancer was ready to face head on.

．．．☆　☽

One of the many things he’s found himself grateful for since starting the competition was the people he had befriended. Before this experience, Hyunjin’s world was almost entirely limited to academic study. Classmates were more concerned with their grades, and there were very few opportunities for Hyunjin to interact with others who were interested in the same things that he was. For three years he had been arriving to school early to practise dance, and for three years, he had yet to meet another student at his school who shared the same drive and passion for the art that he did. Many had expressed interest but had never taken the time to practise with him. Instead concluding early-on that it was too late for them to begin dancing, and that it would be too hard for them to start now.

Only through this competition has he met dancers, and singers, and rappers that share the same drive for music and performance that he does. Even if the weeks that go by are exhausting, finding solace in others like him make the journey a little easier. When he talks to Haknyeon, the other boy understands what he means when he refers to the flow of his rap, or the style of his dance. This isn’t just with Haknyeon, it’s the same with every teammate he meets, and it makes Hyunjin all the more excited to push through the exhaustion and practise for their performance.

A new week, and a new team, yet Hyunjin recognises some of the faces. Junmyeon from two weeks ago where the man’s hair had first turned pink. Luda from his first team challenge as well as last week’s mashup when Hyunjin had found himself flushed with embarrassment after practising his very own choreography. The rest of his teammates are new. Sana sings as well as she dances (wonderfully), and seems to possess a quiet thoughtfulness that easily shines through within their first meeting. Yongsun works hard, she knows her weak points just as well as he strong points, and Hyunjin can’t help but find that admirable.

Haknyeon is Hyunjin’s age – almost exactly so, only a week and a half separating them. Maybe that’s why they get along so well, or maybe it’s the fact that they both share the same passions for dance and rapping. More often than not, Hyunjin finds himself at the other boy’s side, each of them with a hand wrapping around the other in some form or another as they break in-between practice. Here and there, Haknyeon teaches Hyunjin little phrases in Chinese, and Hyunjin returns the same phrases in sign language; both boys finding the time to laugh between shared tangerines and their never-ending practice.

．．．☆　☽

Mid-way through the week Yongsun faints, and it catches Hyunjin off-guard; eyebrows furrowed and teeth anxiously biting his lower lip as he and the rest of the team help her into a comfortable position. While Yongsun carries on practising after the incident, Hyunjin can’t seem to shake the worry he has for the other. Although Hyunjin had never described it as fainting, he’s had his own share of mid-train ride accidental ‘naps’; body pitching forward from its upright position as it fails to push away the urge for sleep even as he stands. He’s familiar with the way it leaves one’s mind foggy and slow, and adamantly hopes that Yongsun isn’t experiencing that same sensation.

．．．☆　☽

On Wednesday, the team is given a camera for a short two-minute camera relay section. Filming the segment comes with an odd realisation for the high schooler, one that tells him that slowly but surely, he’s become used to the cameras. During the first few weeks he had done all he could to simply ignore their presence and proceed on with his practice for the performance; afraid that acknowledging them would make him self-conscious and take away from his performance. As the days slipped by, Hyunjin gradually became more accustomed to the cameras’ seemingly omniscient presence, even gaining the courage to directly speak to the camera during one of the weeks. When his turn with the camera arrives, Hyunjin finds little issue with filling the two-minute time frame, comfortably speaking and interacting on camera. It’s a nice realisation to have – that in a way he’s become confident enough to express himself like this.

．．．☆　☽

“Hello! We are Universe!” As he has with the weeks before, Hyunjin quietly signs along with their introduction, smiling wide at the camera as his introduction approaches, “I’m Universe’s Mars, Hwang Hyunjin. Like the planet Mars I’m driven, and I’ll work hard to shine brightly and show everyone my best performance”.

Even before their performance begins, Hyunjin is already seeking out that blissful silence in his thoughts as he lets his body take over. The conversation that he has with the music conducts itself in silent movements as his body responds and anticipates each beat and turn of the music. As always, the dance is engrained into his body’s memory, maybe even more so than usual. Hyunjin wants the judges to see that he can perform to the same uniform standard as this seasoned artists’ dance demanded and truly shine.

Shawty, Imma party till the sun down What is this mysterious feeling? Come to me, hurry before the sun rise Wherever I go, without you I’m nobody

The first chorus passes without a hitch and everything is going smoothly, each of them light on their feet as they proceed through the song. Haknyeon is rapping before him once again, and Hyunjin follows, cleanly finishing the rap section with a confident smile directed at the camera. (One of the things he had noticed when reviewing the footage of the previous performances was how infrequently he seemed to make eye contact with the camera, today he would make sure that he caught the lens of the camera as often as possible).

Because wherever I am Without you I’m just half

Wrapping up their performance, Hyunjin finishes out of breath and sweaty; freezing in their ending pose until the cameraman gives them the ‘okay’ to leave. They depart from the stage, and Hyunjin’s heart plummets as he notices Junmyeon crying, apologising. It doesn’t take much for the dancer to piece together what had happened, and he’s acting before thinking, hand reaching out to take the elder’s and giving it a tight squeeze. His thumb runs across the back of Junmyeon’s hand in a motion that’s supposed to be comforting, ducking his head and trying to meet the man’s eyes through the onslaught of tears, “It’s okay”. “You did well”. “You did your best”. “No need for apologies”. “Please don’t cry”.

#«　era: hhj.mga4　»#rkmga4 #rkmga4summer #⁽　with: rkxluda　⁾#⁽　with: suhork　⁾#⁽　with: haknyeonrk　⁾#⁽　with: rkyngsun　⁾#⁽　with: rksxna　⁾#performance

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tastydregs · 4 years

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Mind-Melting AI Makes Frank Sinatra Sing “Toxic” by Britney Spears

At the end of April, the artificial intelligence development firm OpenAI released a new neural net, Jukebox, which can create mashups and original music in the style of over 9,000 bands and musicians.

Alongside it, OpenAI released a list of sample tracks generated with the algorithm that bend music into new genres or even reinterpret one artist’s song in another’s style — think a jazz-pop hybrid of Ella Fitzgerald and Céline Dion.

It’s an incredible feat of technology, but Futurism’s editorial team was unsatisfied with the tracks OpenAI shared. To really kick the tires, we went to CJ Carr and Zack Zukowski, the musicians and computer science experts behind the algorithmically-generated music group DADABOTS, with a request: We wanted to hear Frank Sinatra sing Britney Spears’ “Toxic.”

And boy, they delivered.

An algorithm that can create original works of music in the style of existing bands and artists raises unexplored legal and creative questions. For instance, can the artists that Jukebox was trained on claim credit for the resulting tracks? Or are we experiencing the beginning of a brand-new era of music?

“There’s so much creativity to explore there,” Zukowski told Futurism.

Below is the resulting song, in all its AI-generated glory, followed by Futurism’s lightly-edited conversation with algorithmic musicians Carr and Zukowski.

youtube

Futurism: Thanks for taking the time to chat, CJ and Zack. Before we jump in, I’d love to learn a little bit more about both of you, and how you learned how to do all this. What sort of background do you have that lent itself to AI-generated music?

Zack Zukowski: I think we’re both pretty much musicians first, but also I’ve been involved in tech for quite a while. I approached my machine learning studies from an audio perspective: I wanted to extend what was already being doing with synthesis and music technology. It seemed like machine learning was obviously the path that was going to make the most gains, so I started learning about those types of algorithms. SampleRNN is the tool we most like to use — that’s one of our main tools that we’ve been using for our livestreams and our Bandcamp albums over the last couple years.

CJ Carr: Musician first, motivated in computer science to do new things with music. DADABOTS itself comes out of hackathon culture. I’ve done 65 hackathons, and Zack and I together have won 15 or so. That environment inspires people to push what they’re doing in some new way, to do something provocative. That’s the spirit DADABOTS came out of in 2012, and we’ve been pushing it further and further as the tech has progressed.

Why did you make the decision to step up from individual hackathons and stick with DADABOTS? Where did the idea come from for your various projects?

CJ: When we started it, we were both interns at Berklee College of Music working in music tech. When I met Zack — for some reason it felt like I’ve known Zack my whole life. It was a natural collaboration. Zack knew more about signal processing than I did, I knew more about programming, and now we have both brains.

What’s your typical approach? What’s going on behind the scenes?

CJ: SampleRNN has been our main tool. It’s really fast to train — we can train it in a day or two on a new artist. One of the main things we love to do is collaborating with artists, when an artist says “hey I’d love to do a bot album.” But recently, Jukebox trumped the state of the art in music generation. They did a really good job.

SampleRNN and Jukebox, they’re similar in that they’re both sequence generators. It’s reading a sequence of audio at 44.1k or 16k sample rate, and then it’s trying to predict what the next sample is going to be. This net is making a decision at a fraction of a millisecond to come up with the next sample. This is why it’s called neural synthesis. It’s not copying and pasting audio from the training data, it’s learning to synthesize.

What’s different about them is that SampleRNN uses “Long Short Term Memory” (LSTM) architecture, whereas the jukebox uses a transformer architecture. The transformer has attention. This is a relatively new thing that’s come to popularity in deep learning, after RNN, after LSTM. It especially took over for language models. I don’t know if you remember fake news generators like GPT-2 and Grover. They use transformer architecture. Many of the language researchers left LSTM behind. No one had really applied it to audio music yet — that’s the big enhancement for Jukebox. They’re taking a language architecture and applying it to music.

They’re also doing this extra thing, called a “Vector-Quantized Variational AutoEncoder” (VQ-VAE). They’re trying to turn audio into language. They train a model that creates a codebook, like an alphabet. And they take this alphabet, which is a discrete set of 2048 symbols — each symbol is something about music — and then they train their transformer models on it.”

What does that alphabet look like? What is that “something about music?”

CJ: They didn’t do that analysis at all. We’re really curious. For instance, can we compose with it?

Zack: we have these 2048 characters, and so we wonder which ones are commonly used. Like in the alphabet we don’t use Zs too much. But what are the “vowels?” Which symbols are used frequently? It would be really interesting to see what happens when you start getting rid of some of these symbols and see what the net can do with what remains. The way we have the language of music theory with chords and scales, maybe this is something that we can compose with beyond making deepfakes of an artist.

What can that language tell us about the underlying rules and components of music, and how can we use these as building blocks themselves? They’re much higher-level than chords — maybe they’re genre-related. We really don’t know. It would be really cool to do that analysis and see what happens by using just a subset of the language.

CJ: They’ve come up with a new music theory.

Well, it sounds like the three of us have a lot of the same questions about all this. Have you started tinkering with it to learn what’s going on?

CJ: We’ve just got the code running. The first example is this Sinatra thing. But as we use this more, the philosophical implications here are that as musicians, we know intuitively that music is very language-like. It’s not just waves and noise, which is what it looks like at a small scale, but when we’re playing we’re communicating with each other. The bass and the drummer are in step, strings and vocals can be doing call-and-response. And OpenAI was just like “Hey, what if we treated music like language?”

If the sort of alphabet this algorithm uses could be seen as a new music theory, do you think this will be a tool for you two going forward? Or is it more of an oddity to play around with?

CJ: Maybe I should correct myself. Instead of being a music theory, these models can train music theory.

Zack: The theory isn’t something that we can explain right now. We can’t say “This value means this.” It’s not quite as human interpretable, I guess.

CJ: the model just learns probabilistic patterns, and that’s what music theory is. It’s these notes tend to have these patterns and produce these feelings. And those were human-invented. What if we just have a machine try to discover that on its own, and then we ask it to make music? And if it’s good at it, probably it’s learned a good quote-unquote “music theory.”

Zack: An analogy we thought of: Back in the days of Bach, and these composers who were really interested in having counterpoint — many voices moving in their own direction — they had a set of rules for this. The first melodic line the composer builds off is called cantus firmus. There was an educational game new composers would play — if you could follow the notes that were presented in the cantus firmus and guess what harmonizing notes were next, you’d be correct based on the music of the day.

We’re thinking this is kind of the machine version of that, in some ways. Something that can be used to make new music in the style of music that has been heard before.

I know it’s early days and that this is speculative, but do you have any predictions for how people might use Jukebox? Will it be more of these mashups, or do you think people will develop original compositions?

CJ: On the one hand, you have the fear of push-button art. A lot of people think push-button art is very grotesque. But I think push-button art, when a culture can achieve this — it’s a transcendent moment for that culture. It means the communication of that culture has achieved its capacity. Think about meme generators — I can take a picture of Keanu Reeves, put in some inside joke and send it to my friends, and then they can understand and appreciate what I’m communicating. That’s powerful. So it is grotesque, but it’s effectual.

On the other side, you’ll have these virtuosos — these creators — who are gonna do overkill and try to create a medium of art that’s never existed before. What interests us are these 24/7 generators, where it can just keep generating forever.

Zack: I think it’s an interesting tool for artists who have worked on a body of albums. There are artists who don’t even know they can be generated on Jukebox. So, I think many of them would like to know what can be generated in their likeness. It can be a variation tool, it can recreate work for an artist through a perspective they haven’t even heard. It can bend their work through similar artists or even very distantly-stylized artists. It can be a great training tool for artists.

You said you’d heard from some artists who approached you to generate music already — is that something you can talk about?

CJ: When bands approach us, they’ve mostly been staying within the lane of “Hey, use just my training data and let’s see what comes out — I’m really interested.”

Fans though, on YouTube, are like “Here’s a list of my four favorite bands, please make me something out of it.”

So, let’s talk about the actual track you made for us. For this new song, Futurism suggested Britney Spears’ “Toxic” as sung by Frank Sinatra. Did the technical side of pulling that together differ from your usual work?

CJ: This is different. With SampleRNN, we’re retraining it from scratch on usually one artist or one album. And that’s really where it shines — it’s not able to do these fusions very well. What OpenAI was able to do — with a giant multimillion-dollar compute budget — they were able to train these giant neural nets. And they trained them on over 9,000 artists in over 300 genres. You need a mega team with a huge budget just to make this generalizable net.

Zack: There are two options. There’s lyrics and no lyrics. No lyrics is sort of like how SampleRNN has worked. With lyrics it tries to get them all in order, but sometimes it loops or repeats. But it tries to go beginning to end and keep the flow going. If you have too many lyrics, it doesn’t understand. It doesn’t understand that if you have a chorus repeating, the music should repeat as well. So we find that these shorter compositions work better for us.

But you had lyrics in past projects that used SampleRNN, like “Human Extinction Party.” How did that differ?

CJ: That was smoke and mirrors.

Zack: That was kind of an illusion. The album we trained it on had vocals, so some made it through to. We had a text generator that made up lyrics whenever it heard a sound.

In a lot of these Jukebox mashups, I’ve noticed that the voice sounds sort of strained. Is that just a matter of the AI-generated voice being forced to hit a certain note, or does it have something more to do with the limitations of the algorithm itself?

Zack: Your guess sounds similar to what I’d say. It was probably just really unlikely that those lyrics or the phonemes, the sounds themselves of the words, showed up in a similar way to how we were forcing it to generate those syllables. It probably heard a lot more music that isn’t Frank Sinatra, so it can imagine some things that Frank Sinatra didn’t do. But it just comes down to being somewhat different from any of the original Frank Sinatra texts.

When you were creating this rendition of Toxic, did you hit any snags along the way? Or was it just a matter of giving the algorithm enough time to do its work?

CJ: Part of it is we need a really expensive piece of hardware that we need to rent on Amazon Cloud at three dollars per hour. And it takes — how long did it take to generate, Zack?

Zack: The final one I had generated took about a day, but I had been doing it over and over again for a week. You have so little control that sometimes you just gotta go again. It would get a few phrases and then it would lose track of the lyrics. Sometimes you’d get two lines but not the whole chorus in a row. It came down to luck — waiting for the right one to come along.

It could loop a line, or sometimes it could go into seemingly different songs. It would completely lose track of where it was. There are some pretty wild things that can happen. One time I was generating Frank Sinatra, and it was clearly a chorus of men and women together. It wasn’t even the right voice. It can get pretty ghostly.

Do you know if there are any legal issues involved in this kind of music? The capability to generate new music in the style or voice of an artist seems like uncharted territory, but are there issues with the mashups that use existing lyrics? Or are those more acceptable under the guise of fair use, sort of like parody songs?

CJ: We’re not legal people, we haven’t studied copyright issues. The vibe is that there’s a strong case for fair use, but artists may not like people creating these deepfakes.

Zack: I think it comes down to intention, and whatever the law decides they’ll decide. But as people using this tool, artists, there’s definitely a code of ethics that people should probably respect. Don’t piss people off. We try our best to cite the people who worked on the tech, the people who it was trained on. It all just depends how you’re putting it out and how respectful you’re being of people’s work.

Before I let you go, what else are you two working on right now?

CJ: Our long-term research is trying to make these models faster and cheaper so bedroom producers and 12-year-olds can be making music no one’s ever thought of. Of course, right now it’s very expensive and it takes days. We’re in a privileged position of being able to do it with the rented hardware.

Specifically, what we’re doing right now — there’s the list of 9,000-plus bands that the model currently supports. But what’s interesting is the bands weren’t asked to be a part of this dataset. Some machine learning researchers on Twitter were debating the ethics of that. There are two sides of that, of course, but we really want to reach out to those bands. If anyone knows these bands, if you are these bands, we will generate music for you. We want to take this technology, which we think is capable of brand-new forms of creativity, and give it back to artists.

More on DADABOTS: Researchers Trained a Neural Net Using a Cannibal Corpse Album

The post Mind-Melting AI Makes Frank Sinatra Sing “Toxic” by Britney Spears appeared first on Futurism.

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annabethwisegirl-chase · 6 years

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250 Headcanons (Part 5)

Headcanons #201-250. These are just things that I couldn’t really fit in anywhere else.

201. Growing up in camp, and not really having any true female role models in her immediate vicinity, Annabeth’s understanding of how to deal with acne was very limited. Thus, nearly every time she would get a bad zit, she would pick at it until it bled and then slap a band aid over the top of it. It was easier just to say that she fell and scraped her face than to admit she just had a bad zit.

202. Her magical Yankees cap doesn’t turn her invisible if Annabeth has it on backwards. But, she thinks that looks stupid and completely goes against the design and function of a hat, so she never does it.

203. For Christmas one year, she received one of those big bags of Reese’s cups because they were Annabeth’s favorite candy in the world. She ate them all in about a week and then proceeded to get a bad stomache afterwards. Since then, she can’t stand the taste of chocolate and peanut butter together.

204. It doesn’t matter how Annabeth falls asleep, how many blankets there are, or where she is. She will find a way to become a blanket burrito every night, without fail. This has only gotten worse since Tartarus, because feeling like she’s wrapped in the blanket makes her feel like she has some sense of security.

205. The longest she’s ever gone without washing her hair was about two weeks. Her curls were basically in just one huge knot by the end of it.

206. She wants to learn to play the drums in order to help her productively release her anger and aggression.

207. Cookies and cream ice cream is 1000% the way to win her over. Any time she gets a bad test score, gets into an argument, or is just having one of those “bad days,” you can better believe that Annabeth is finding a way to get her hands on some cookies and cream ice cream.

208. She enters the online lotteries for about four different Broadway shows on a daily basis. She has yet to win, a fact which frustrates her to no end.

209. Annabeth has a teddy bear that she keeps in her stuff for camp. His name is Humphrey.

210. Despite her love of Tom Felton and her mental connection of linking Luke to Draco, he is not her favorite Harry Potter character. Annabeth actually really likes James Potter’s character in the books, and has gotten into more than one heated debate with her siblings about whether or not he was a good person.

211. She is weirdly creeped out by nutcrackers. When Annabeth was six, her dad took her to see a production of the Nutcracker in an attempt to “bond.” Personally, she believes it was because her step mom wanted her out of the house, but she never said that aloud. That night, she had a terrible dream about the nutcrackers in their house coming alive and eating everyone. Since then, she refuses to have anything to do with them.

212. Annabeth gets really annoyed whenever Percy, Thalia, or Grover make a dam joke. After all, she was the one who wanted to see the Hoover Dam, and the fact that they went without her just seems like an insult. Sure, she gets that it wasn’t planned, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that they’ve gotten to see it and she hasn’t. Them making dam jokes only reminds her of that.

213. She smacks her gum. Because of this, Annabeth does not chew gum often--only when she’s frustrated because she’s stuck on a project. The more frustrated she gets, the worse her smacking becomes.

214. When she starts working in her architecture firm and has to attend various parties and galas for the companies that she’s working/building for, Annabeth gets into the habit of hiding in the bathroom for most of the night. All her life, she’s lived to hear people’s praise, craving it more than she can begin to put into words. But, being the center of attention to get it makes her extremely uncomfortable and she ends up just trying to skip out on it entirely. There’s about a thirty minute appearance from her at the beginning of the night, and again at the end of the night. Anything else, you can forget.

215. There is one movie that Annabeth absolutely has to see at Christmas. Otherwise, it’s not officially the holiday season. It’s A Muppet Christmas Carol, but she has to watch an older copy of it. The new one took out her favorite song, which she insists is a crime on humanity.

216. Annabeth doesn’t like coffee. When she was in high school, she legitimately tried to like it, but nothing she did made it taste okay. She prefers to rely on Dr. Pepper to keep her awake instead.

217. When Annabeth was young and her step mom had her hands full with Matthew and Bobby, it wasn’t uncommon for Mrs. Chase to put on the television to try and keep Annabeth entertained. While it seldom kept her attention for long, there did seem to be one program that could keep her occupied for about twenty five minutes: Winnie the Pooh. It is, hands down, her favorite kid’s show and she will still sometimes mutter “oh bother,” if something small goes wrong.

218. Annabeth gets incredibly jealous very easily. In fact, if the Sirens hadn’t showed her that her fatal flaw was hubris, she would be inclined to believe that it would be jealousy. She’s very possessive of the people in her life and is always weary that something (or someone) else could come along and take them away from her. It takes next to nothing to make her jealous, but she tries her best to hide it so that she doesn’t come off as crazy. However, there are times when it slips out and Annabeth just takes to ignoring the other person.

219. During her first few years at camp, when most of the campers would go home during the school year, Annabeth would have lessons at camp. Most of them were tailored for her, and she convinced Chiron to teach her Morse code after she learned Greek, and enough Latin to be able to hold a conversation in it.

220. Annabeth absolutely loves taking pictures. On the wall behind her bunk at camp, there’s a huge mashup of photos. Some of them are of her family, but most are of her friends at camp throughout the years. She took some of the ones that Jason found in the Zeus cabin to hang up there, as well. All of the pictures though tell important parts of her life. They show the day her brothers were born and one of the few times Annabeth was allowed to hold them, they show her and Luke and Thalia, laughing and looking half starved as they traveled, they show her and Percy and Grover, making ridiculous faces at the camera after coming back from their first quest. Each picture tells a story, and Annabeth has a bad habit of looking at them and getting lost in those stories. And that’s but a few. There are dozens more tucked into her desk, pinned up on her walls at home, and her collection only grows the older she gets.

221. When Annabeth was young and tried living with her dad again the first time, her brothers were just getting into Legos. However, because they were still small, the concept of “sharing” was still foreign to them and they’d get upset every time Annabeth tried to play with their toys. Their tears would alert their mother, who would scold Annabeth with upsetting her brothers. This went on for several times, until she just gave up on trying to play with the Legos. When she got a little older, her brothers decided they didn’t want them anymore and simply got rid of them, even though Annabeth would’ve loved them. The first thing she buys when she moves into her first apartment is Legos and they go everywhere in that house. Little replicas of major national monuments, models for her own designs, and even the Death Star are in every single room, each one made of Legos.

222. Annabeth was nine the first time she broke a bone. She was climbing a tree and trying to show off for the other campers, when she slipped. She landed on the ground with a sickening crack. When she sat up, her hand was twisted funny and it hurt so bad that she could hardly stand it. Due to her age, Chiron was hesitant to give her any real amount ambrosia for the injury, so she only got a taste and then had to wear a sling for several weeks.

223. Growing up at camp, Annabeth’s exposure to all things pop culture was very limited. So, when she started living with her dad during the school year again, she went overboard trying to catch up on the stuff the other kids her age knew about. Even now, she tries to overcompensate for what she didn’t get to experience as a kid which is why she has an overabundance of knowledge relating to movies, television shows, etc.

224. She’s never seen a show in its completion. Once she gets bored with a story arc, Annabeth will stop watching it. The closest she ever got to finishing a show was the Office, but even then, she got bored after Jim and Pam got married.

225. Hates wearing scarves. They make her feel like she’s trapped and she complains every time someone makes her wear one. On the flip side though, she makes sure everyone else has one on. It’s about ten different levels of hypocritical, but Annabeth doesn’t care.

226. It bothered her to no end when Percy was finally taller than her. Whenever she first realized it, she tried to find ways to make herself appear taller than she was. She’d stand on the step above him, sit on tables, anything to keep feeling like she was bigger than him.

227. Sometimes, she’ll leave her dagger and a note on top of take out boxes, threatening people that she will come after them if they eat her left overs.

228. She has a bad habit of stomping her foot whenever she gets frustrated or mad. It started when she was little and didn’t have the vocabulary to express herself properly, and was just something that never went away.

229. Annabeth isn’t big on dresses. She hates the whole having to deal with false modesty and keeping the skirt down if a monster were to show up. Whenever she is forced to wear a dress, there’s always a pair of shorts underneath. It doesn’t matter the occassion.

230. When she goes away to college, Annabeth’s PTSD and anxiety get infinitely worse. It’s from a suggestion (that she’s pretty sure had charmspeak in it) from Piper that Annabeth agrees to go see a therapist. Her name is Phyllis, who was a former camper as well, and a daughter of Apollo who managed to survive in the real world. They manage to get through most of the problems that have plagued Annabeth from being a demigod, as well as the trauma from before she ever learned about her parentage.

231. Owns about twenty pillows and insists on having them all on the bed with her, claiming that it’ll mess up her back if they aren’t there.

232. Annabeth never got braces. Her teeth were in that borderline area where they were too straight for braces to do much good, but also a little too crooked for a retainer. So, she went without anything. When her wisdom teeth came in though, it caused her bottom teeth to shift and now she’s really self conscious abbout how crowded they look.

233. She’s the kind of person who decorates the back of Christmas trees, and her jack-o-lanterns and gingerbread houses are way too immaculate for something that’ll just get thrown away a little while later.

234. She’s the biggest baby when she gets sick, complaining about her headaches and how cold she is. Still, she’s too stubborn to let anyone do anything for her, but she whines the entire time about having to make her own soup and having to get her own drinks.

235. Whenever Annabeth’s nervous, her hands have to find some way to occupy themselves. Her two top ways to keep them occupied are fiddling with her camp necklace or twirling her hair around her fingers.

236. She convinces Piper to teach her how to braid her hair, but has no patience to actually sit there and completely braid it. So, if she wants her hair braided, she has to go to Piper to do it. But, the habit has found its way to Annabeth braiding other people’s hair absentmindedly when she’s bored. Percy has ended up with several small braids in his hair from when they’ve been studying.

237. When she does text, Annabeth texts in complete sentences, using proper capitalization, periods, and grammar. However, she never picks up when autocorrect changes a word that she types out, so it’s led to some interesting messages being sent. Also, she hardly ever uses emojis. Her most used one is the skull, and it’s only because she’s used it about five times.

238. Literally always has snacks on her. Little pieces of butterscotch candy, a bag of popcorn, or a granola bar. She’s says it’s “being prepared,” but really, she’s just always hungry and needs to keep it on her to eat.

239. Uses a bookbag instead of a normal bag, because it allows her to store more things in it and she thinks it’s easier to keep from losing. In it, she has her snacks, her keys, her dagger, her laptop, sunscreen, one of those tiny little sketch books, a pen, her cell phone and her wallet. It’s basically glued on her person whenever she leaves camp (and most of the time when she’s in camp), because she never knows when the next apocolypse might happen and she needs to be prepared.

240. She wants to backpack through Europe after graduating from college.

241. Her favorite holiday is Halloween and Annabeth starts planning what she’s going to be the Halloween before. She thinks Christmas is over rated, Valentine’s Day is gross, New Year’s Day is a sham, and never really got on bored the Thanksgiving train.

242. She’s seen Star Wars: A New Hope so many times that she can quote it. If she had a lightsaber, it’d be green.

243. Annabeth had a weird phase for about a year during seventh grade where she was really into country music and refuses to ever talk about it. Once, one of her siblings found a Rascal Flatts CD in her stuff, and Annabeth swore up and down that it wasn’t hers. She fished it out of the trash and rehid it at the bottom of her trunk after the rest of the cabin went to archery.

244. Her freshman year of high school, when she stayed with her dad, Annabeth went to a public high school. She took shop class and was the only girl in that class. The other students (including the teacher) kept making comments about how they would help her complete the projects because she was a girl and probably couldn’t do it. She made it a point to show up everyone in that class and refused to go back to that school after the semester was over. However, that was right before the war and after it was over, she ended up transferring to her private all girls school in order to stay closer to her Olympus project.

245. Absolutely loves candles and always has at least five on her nightstand. It’s gotten her in trouble several times because they’re “fire hazards” and “against the rules.” So, they keep getting confiscated, but Annabeth’ll just buy more. Eventually, the other person just decides it’s not worth the fight anymore and Annabeth gets to keep them.

246. She’s never had her picture made with Santa Claus. Her dad was always too busy to take her to the malls where he was, and then she found out that he wasn’t real. Then, the idea of sitting on some stranger’s lap just kind of freaked her out.

247. In one of her art classes, Annabeth made a clay nightlight that was made to look like an old time lamp post. Every Christmas, her dad puts it up on the mantle even though it tilts sideways a little. She gets a little embarrassed when she looks at it, but it also makes her feel like maybe her dad is just a little proud of her.

248. It’s a bigger deal for someone to tell Annabeth that they’re proud of her than that they love her. She gets really flustered and acts really shy, but she loves it.

249. She can’t throw food up and catch it in her mouth.

250. Her favorite kind of weather is when it’s cloudy and a little bit rainy. Not enough to be annoying, but just enough for it to be cold and that you can barely feel the rain. She loves being able to curl up on those days with a cup of hot chocolate, a blanket, and alternate the day sleeping and working on projects.

#likes #i think i've been putting these in the annabeth tag #i can't remember #but i'm going to anyway #annabeth chase #suCK IT RYLAN I DID THEM ALL

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byakurenbreak · 7 years

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Those who have known me for long enough already know how much I ADORE Vocaloid and the amazing Portal 2 fanfic, Blue Sky by the very talented @waffleguppies (read it here if you haven’t already!) So I decided to make a little playlist of Vocaloid songs that fit certain parts of the story. Feel free to have a listen, and perhaps drown in the feels with me!

Song list below the cut!

1. EZFG feat. VY1 - Cyber Thunder Cider - “There was no alternative. She needed her.”

2. SEDO Sounder feat. MAYU - I Can Only Hear the Sound of Tears - “That’s what I need. A proper conversation would be absolutely amazing right now.”

3. Neru feat. Kagamine Rin - Lost One’s Weeping - "Do you know what I learned? Perspective. You taught me that no matter how bad things are, no matter how unfair life seems to be, no matter how small and pathetic you feel, there's always someone even smaller and more pathetic than you.”

4. Hario feat. Kasane Teto - Typewriter - “Chell returned her part of the ritual - a smile and a covered crate of her own”

5. Kikuo feat. Hatsune Miku - Hikari Yo - “Just- please come and get me. Please. I am quite literally begging you. On my knees. Figure of speech, obviously, if I had knees, I'd be on them.”

6. DECO*27 feat. Gumi - Mozaik Role - “It’s you! It’s you, you came back!”

7. Giga-p x Crusher-p feat. Hatsune Miku and Gumi English - Hibikase x ECHO Mashup - “ The avatar the system had picked for him was in its- his- mid-thirties, thin, gangling, and not nearly as well-groomed as the presentation model. He had a face like a hare caught in the headlights of an articulated truck, all goggly eyes overmagnified behind thick-framed glasses, and his generous allocation of mouth was stretched in a wide grin.”

8. Denpol-P feat Hatsune Miku - Hitorinbo Envy - "All I wanted to do was to make everything better for me!" He was almost shouting, now. Not really at her, so much- more at himself, at the part of himself that was unable to shut out the look in those hurt tired human eyes of hers. "And I did, I did it, I'm here, aren't I? I'm so close! I bloody deserve this!"

9. Nantoka-P feat. Hatsune Miku - Love Love Nightmare - “You’re not a good person, you know that, right? Good people don’t end up here.”

10. 164 feat. MAYU - Ama no Jaku - “Ever heard of ‘three strikes and you’re out’?”

11. Ryo feat. Hatsune Miku - Melt - “He stood up to get another fork, glanced absently over the partition in the direction of the photocopier- -and fell helplessly, hopelessly, in love.”

12. Giga-p feat. Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len - Childish War - “You bloody used me!”

13. Sasakure.UK feat. Kasane Teto - Nekosogi Matter Bop - “Soon as I get her working, you’ll find out. She’s going to put Eaden on the map.”

14. Honeyworks feat. Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len - Suki, Kirai - “Nice straight corridor, no pits, no turrets, just lots of handy portal surfaces if we need ‘em.”

15. Junky feat. Kagamine Rin - Sweet Magic - “We... are making bread.”

16. Hachi feat. Gumi - Donut Hole - “Is... your holding my head going to help me remember?”

17. Yukke feat. Gumi - Transient Apple Salesgirl - “So yes, that’s basically what I’m asking. You, me, some sort of place that isn’t in here. Thoughts?”

18. EZFG feat. VY2 and VY1 - Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain - “It’s not fair, it’s not FAIR! They told me I was- they- they gave me a sticker!”

19. Mitchie M feat. Hatsune Miku - Freely Tomorrow - “It’s perfect, Wheatley! You did it! IT WORKS! SHE WORKS!”

20. Agoaniki-P feat. Megurine Luka - Double Lariat - "Hey- ding, that's a thought; music, legs, since we're here and everything- would you- would you like to dance? With- with me?"

21. Jin feat. IA - Outer Science - "Be careful out there. This is not a standard test. I'm not kidding, there are a lot of potential hazards."

22. Kurosawa Madoka feat. Kagamine Rin - Giga Cartoon Witch - "Orange let out a high-pitched little screech of celebration and went into a quick, hippy sort of touch-up shuffle, making the cut-and-shut construction on its back clank and slosh. Blue twisted its torso in a stiff-jointed moonwalking shimmy. The two of them high-fived with a hard metal-on-metal clack, then jogged towards the single, blinking red light."

23. Creep-P feat. Hatsune Miku English - Cotton Candy - "You're not human."

24. Maki feat. Gumi - Flower of Blood - "I'm going to be honest. You're good at this. That's not a compliment, by the way, it's just a statistical observation."

25. DECO*27 feat. Hatsune Miku - Ghost Rule - "That's- that's fine by me, Fox." His voice might have been a little on the shaky side, small and quivery and not exactly the epitome of dauntless heroism he would have liked it to be, but at least it sounded sincere. "Do it."

26. Kurage-P feat. Yuzuki Yukari - Chururira Chururira Daddadda - "Hey, hey, whoah-whoah-whoah, keep your knickers on, who said anything about controlling your facility? Did I say I wanted to control your facility? No way, ha, nonono, that's aaall yours. Wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, if I'm honest. Not after that whole utter bloody shambles we ended up in last time, ohohoh, no, not if you paid me. Incidentally, that little corridor you've got her in down there, bit sort of stuffy, isn't it? Not exactly showing your full hand there, are you, in terms of interior design- ooh! I know! Why don't you give her a bit more breathing space?"

27. Cosmo@Bousou-P feat. Hatsune Miku - The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku - "...Give up. Alright? Do that for me? You're- you're safe, and- and I..."

28. Shikemoku feat. Gumi and Hatsune Miku - Hocus Pocus - "That's right! Some people are just... oh, boy, they're one in a million, they're so bright, so brilliant- you watch them doing what they were born for, and oh, they just light up like stars. They can take on the whole world. But they still need you by their side, just being good old you. Yes, sir! I'm always happy to help a helper."

29. Dios/Signal-P feat. Gumi - Aitai - "It was somewhere in the middle of this- right bang in the middle of their very first, gloriously fiddly, uncertain, awkward, amazing kiss- that the full meaning of what Chell had just, actually, said finally slammed into Wheatley's battered, overloaded mind. It was a toss-up as to which factor did it- the kiss or the words- but it was probably a combination of both."

BONUS SONGS

30. Jimmy Thumb-P feat. Hatsune Miku, Megurine Luka, Sasumi Zimi - Re_boot - Wheatley Stinks

31. Furukawa-P feat. Hatsune Miku - Alice - “ Somewhere else, somewhere else entirely- far beyond Her reach, miles beyond the range of Her vision- a young woman (barefoot, her dark hair escaping from a ponytail, her face both slightly mischievous and strikingly content) tugged her stumbling, uncomplaining, mad-grinning companion (ludicrously tall, really, and drowning in a rough-knit sky-blue sweater) along a long path worn in the knee-high cricket-humming meadowgrass.”

32. Nanou feat. Hatsune Miku - Hello/How Are You? - That’s a No, Then

33. Doriko feat. Hatsune Miku - Romeo and Cinderella - The Itch

34. DECO*27 feat. Hatsune Miku - Two Breaths Walking - The Kick

#Portal 2 #chelley #blue sky portal #waffleguppies #vocaloid

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

Text

Loose Cattle Interview: Making the Listener Not Hate You

Photo credit: King Edward Photography

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“The New York Philharmonic is basically a cover band,” Michael Cerveris told me over the phone a couple months ago. Okay, he was being facetious; in context, we were talking about the merits of labeling Loose Cattle, the group he leads along with Kimberly Kaye, as a cover band. They certainly started out that way 10 years ago, forming with the low-bar goal of playing country songs in their friends’ living rooms. (After all, Cerveris had a successful theater, TV, & film career, and Kaye in a ska band, so they weren’t banking on success.) When they started landing high-profile gigs and releasing only non-traditional recorded material like live records and Christmas collections, they didn’t really have time to ask themselves who they were as a band. You could argue that they finally get to do that on Heavy Lifting, their debut studio album a decade in the making, which came out on Friday via Low Heat Records.

On Heavy Lifting, Loose Cattle--which has always had Cerveris, Kaye, and a rotating cast of other members, at this time René Coman, Doug Garrison, and Rurik Nunan--finally record some of their crowd favorite covers and original material but also include some timely, somber interpretations. In a sense, they say it’s both the first album and the difficult second album, the original statement and the changing of trajectory. They get their kicks on a rollicking version of Buddy and Julie Miller’s “Gasoline and Matches”, Bob Frank’s upbeat “Redneck Blue Collar”, and “Sidewalk Chicken”, an original about disposed poultry that’s treasure for a passing-by dog. They duet on the Johnny and June-esque “He’s Old, She’s High”, a song written by Cowboy Mouth’s Paul Sanchez about the two of them (Cerveris and Kaye started Loose Cattle while in a romantic relationship), whose line “He loves his Dolly Parton / She digs her CeeLo Green” segues perfectly into their closing mashup, “F*ck You Jolene”. But the most poignant and notable songs on here are the somber ones, versions of Vic Chesnutt’s “Aunt Avis”, Judith Avers’ “West Virginia”, and Selda and Derek’s “Filling Space”, which gets a bluesy strings and pedal steel treatment.

Cerveris and Kaye cite both the insularity caused by COVID-19 lockdowns and their ever-present tendency to look towards the margins as why they’re, too, most moved by these songs. “We’re required all of the time to be looking at people,” Kaye said. On the morning of our interview, the top story was essentially pictures of whatever Kardashian was currently horny for Travis Barker, pictures to which we were both subjected on our social media feeds. “If you’re going to look at somebody, why them?!?” Kaye said, exasperated. Songs like “West Vriginia”, on the contrary, “ask you to open your eyes a bit,” said Cerveris. They also wanted to roll out and open the album with more reverent tunes. “The idea of putting out songs in your face or requiring you to party felt really bad and discombobulating,” said Kaye, who couldn’t listen to almost anything during lockdown without crying--especially party music that made her miss her friends. A song like “Filling Space”, on the contrary, according to Kaye, “doesn’t have any judgement about what loneliness looks or feels like.” Though Heavy Lifting may preview a period of more original songwriting for Loose Cattle, these songs are just as if not more personal.

Which brings us back to the eternal question: Is Loose Cattle really a cover band? Perhaps somewhere in between. What’s clear is they reinterpret songs to fit their emotions and the zeitgeist the same way great jazz or country musicians do for standards. They’re artists. And, yes, at the same time, the next time they hang out and get tanked, they’ll probably start jamming and playing some well-known tunes.

Read the rest of my conversation with Cerveris and Kaye below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What about Heavy Lifting is unique as compared to anything else you’ve released in the past?

Michael Cerveris: We kind of did everything backwards. We had both been in a lot of bands before we ever met, and so much of the time you spend doing rehearsals, learning music, teaching different people music. Once you’re out of college, you’re not on the same schedule as everybody else you play with most of the time, usually because the only way you can make a living in New Orleans or New York or places is being in 5 different bands in the same time. So you spend so much of your time sending messages back and forth and trying to find places where you can rehearse. We wanted to cut all that out when we started this band. The idea was that we would learn a bunch of country covers because we both loved that kind of music and the storytelling, and the characters in them were just great. Our highest aspiration was be to play in our friends’ living rooms, and that was it. That’s where we started.

Within a month, we suddenly had these random opportunities to play on Mountain Stage in my home state of West Virginia and to play at Lincoln Center in New York and its American Songbook Series. The kinds of gigs you would build your career towards. We were randomly landing there out of the gate, so we thought, “Maybe we should rehearse like an actual band.” Similarly, with records, our first record was a live record from a residency we did in a club in New York called 54 Below. Our second record was a collection of Christmas singles we had been doing once a year to treat our fans around Christmas time. So this is our first debut studio record.

Kimberly Kaye: It’s coming years into being a band.

SILY: How did you go about deciding what to include on here, both covers and originals?

KK: The problem of being a band that exists for a decade before you make a record is that by the time you make a record, the five people who do love you already have a list of favorite songs that they want to hear on your record. These are the songs we never recorded that people were like, “Why don’t you have a version of this I can download?”

MC: There were definitely fan favorites that we had to do because we had said we would forever. There were a bunch that we wrote, because we wanted to move out of being a covers band. Kimberly and I have been writing separately and together, and that’s definitely where we plan to move as a band more and more. As we were recording them, we actually wrote another couple in response to where we were finding ourselves as the process went along.

SILY: Is there a general approach you take when covering a song or recording a song someone else has written?

KK: It’s challenging when you’re doing covers to be true enough to the original that people A) recognize it or B) think, “God, this terrible cover band just murdered this song I otherwise love.” That’s always a player, being respectful to the original. Also finding a way to to say, “Hey, I might be in New Orleans or in New York but we’re not a Bourbon Street or Times Square cover band.” How do we add texture? How do we use our approach to storytelling to emphasize the parts of the story that are very meaningful to us as musicians or humans listening to the song? Trying to strike a balance between representing the song so that the person who wrote it originally wouldn’t want to murder me if they saw me in public, and then backing that up with, “How do I make it interesting?” so that the person doesn’t feel like they’re hearing the song for the ten thousandth time. Regardless of who they are, making the listener not hate you, I think.

MC: The primary motivation of our band is not to be hated. [laughs] It’s funny: Cover bands get such a bad rap, but it’s so much a part of most bands’ development. The Beatles were a cover band for most of their beginning. It’s how you cut your teeth. [I think of it as being] song interpreters. A lot of people who are famous and not thought of as a cover band aren’t necessarily writing their own material most of the time. Nashville is full of people writing songs for other people.

I think it’s always about trying to find songs that mean something to you. That bottom line is how songs end up in our setlist. It’s a song one of us will hear and think, “We should cover that.” When we say that to each other, it means the song has struck something in us, which normally means it’s about someone who is marginalized or in an uncomfortable situation not part of the mainstream. We both gravitate towards the margins and misfits and outsider type people. Those kinds of songs, either written from that perspective or about people grappling with those kinds of things, usually strike us.

[When] there’s something in the song that somehow feels like something we have a way to express, that will be true to us. There are songs we sometimes think of that we think are great to cover, but what we really want is just to have been in that band who did the song originally. It’s only when we feel like we have something to add to the song we love or we want to share it with more people. A lot of our fans think we’ve written a lot more of our material than we have. It could be because we’ve made it absolutely unrecognizable, or that the way we do it makes it feel like it comes from us.

SILY: There’s a good mix on here of better-known songs, and songs I looked up and couldn’t find the original version online, like “Filling Space” and “He’s Old, She’s High”.

KK: Michael and I aren’t in Nashville, but those are this album’s, “Hey, if we were in Nashville, this would be our Nashville moment.” “Filling Space” was written by a songwriting pair that go back and forth between Nashville and New York, [Selda and Derek]. They put that together and sent it to Michael thinking it would be a great song for us, and they were right. “He’s Old, She’s High” was written for and about Michael and I as a gift by Paul Sanchez, now of solo fame in New Orleans, previously of Cowboy Mouth.

SILY: I was gonna say, it was almost too perfect the way you combined “Jolene” and “Fuck You”, which inspired the line, “He loves his Dolly, she loves her CeeLo Green”.

MC: It was actually the other way around.

KK: It was one of those things before we were a band, and we hadn’t performed yet, and Michael said we should start a covers band for living room parties. I said in that case, we should try to find a way to cover CeeLo Green’s “Fuck You”, because it’s my jam. That’s how old that cover is. That song was new at the point where I thought we should wedge it in with “Jolene”.

MC: The song used to always be in the first person, and we decided when recording that it would be about two other people to make it so more people could feel it was about them.

KK: It felt a little masturbatory to sing the song about just us, so if we changed the tenses and the pronouns, maybe you know a couple where he’s high and she’s old.

MC: When we started the band, we were a couple, and we thought starting a band would be a great thing for our relationship, because clearly we had never read any band biographies before. Even though we stopped being in a relationship but kept the band together, the dynamic between the two of us is a lot of what informs everything. It does feel like a family, though people have come and gone. Kim and I are the constants. Now, we have this really solid band that feels like a band, which is what we always wanted.

SILY: "Aunt Avis” is the first single and album opener, one of the more downtempo tracks on the album. Why did you choose to lead with it?

MC: We were aware that it was kind of an odd choice as the opener and first listen people were gonna get of the record. I guess the odd choice is the choice we go with most of the time.

KK: Yep!

MC: [laughs] I think it also captured a lot of what we’ve been talking about. It’s somebody else’s song that exists in an original version that’s so idiosyncratic and iconic. Nobody else performed [Chesnutt’s] songs the way he did. But it’s also a song Widespread Panic does that a lot of people think of as a song by Widespread Panic. This is the kind of band we are. We’ll take somebody else’s song and try to make it ours.

When we originally recorded [Heavy Lifting], we thought we would put it out in 2020, and for reasons we’re all aware of, that didn’t seem like a good idea at the time. We started to sit down to figure out when we were gonna put it out and guess what the future was gonna be like, when people were gonna want to listen to music and when we were gonna want to listen to music, and when people did want to listen, what kind of music it was gonna be. When we looked at the record, this song kind of seemed to be the ideal song to talk about things that are on people’s minds and have been for the past year. How do you be good? How do you keep going when you don’t know how or if you should? Starting out of the gate with something not acknowledging the world we’re in would be jarring and weird and could be good if people wanted escape, but we’re not entirely an escape kind of band. It felt like the right song for this moment to represent us and the record and let people come in through that. The next single, “Filling Space”, too, is a step along that road. When people get into the full record, there’s all kinds of stuff on it, much more lighthearted and rocking stuff. But it’s been a rough fucking year, and we wanted to let people ease their way out of the cave.

SILY: What’s the significance behind the album title?

MC: We’re such an old school band in a lot of ways. We’ll take forever deciding on the sequencing of the record. I still look at records as A-sides and B-sides. It really matters to me. There are a million ways to do it, but I spend a lot of time thinking about the flow of the record. Similarly, we take forever naming our records. I don’t know how many titles we had for this record.

KK: [laughs] A lot.

MC: They go from the ridiculous to the less ridiculous to approaching the sublime, but mostly just ridiculous.

KK: For a minute, we were calling it Herd Immunity, definitely leaning away from the sublime on that one, more towards the absurd. But [Heavy Lifting] was a dark horse that came out of nowhere and kind of won the race. We had another title picked, and I can’t really remember it, so it obviously wasn’t that good.

MC: This definitely came up post-COVID lockdowns. I think it might have been encouraged by finding the photo first.

KK: Yes. I remember it came from the photo.

MC: And the sort of dual nature of “heavy lifting,” which feels like what everybody is getting through these days, to “heavy, comma, lifting,” which suggests that maybe this weight is slowly getting lighter. We liked the duality of that idea.

SILY: By the way, when I was Googling “heavy lifting loose cattle interviews,” just to see what other interviews you had done, I got a lot of results for interviewing for jobs on farms, and the proper way to lift loose cattle.

KK: [laughs]

MC: I think I’ve done the same thing. [Note: At the time of publication] The top hit you get is this harness, because there’s this thing for lifting down cows, which goes around their hips and lifts them down by their pelvic girdle, which doesn’t seem like a great idea, but I guess it’s what you do when you have a cow to lift.

When you Google “loose cattle,” you often get great videos of herds of cows across the world, wandering across freeways and through town squares. I think, in a way, it’s appropriate.

KK: Loose Cattle the band is not on TikTok, but we have a very strong showing on TikTok anyway if you type us in, just because people love filming animals in places they shouldn’t be.

SILY: What else is next for you, as a band or individually?

KK: In 2020, we were positioned to be playing such great shows. We had a spot at French Quarter Festival in New Orleans, which, if you’re a local, is your favorite, since [New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival] is very crowded. We had this incredible year of gigs lined up, and then all of a sudden, nothing, and we were all in different places, so we were not allowed to interact. While we didn’t get to work on too, too much as a band, we did, as we do, produce some more covers, which are not on the album but are really great. We found creative and interesting ways to make videos while in quarantine. We covered David Bowie’s “Heroes”.

MC: We [also] did John Cale’s “Fear is a Man’s Best Friend”.

KK: That was the height of the COVID spike and election stuff. We made these two kind of poignant, interesting things people love. I get a lot of folks messaging me saying they’re listening to our cover of “Heroes” saying it’s helping them get through something. In the meantime, trying to keep busy, I accidentally started a not unsuccessful true crime and horror competition podcast with a friend of mine. We compete to tell really horrifying stories from history. Hottest Hell Presents. It marries stories from history’s colon with competition.

MC: My day job has been as an actor for a number of years. I got a job on a great new series for HBO called The Gilded Age which should come out early next year some time. It’s written by Julian Fellowes, who made Downton Abbey, and it’s kind of Downton Abbey for the U.S., set in 1882 in New York. Kind of follows America in a really transitional phase after the Civil War, and the rise of the Industrial Age. I’ve been learning, doing research while we’re making it. [It’s amazing] how much we talk about today, like race relations, labor relations, the rise of the 1% and suffering of the 99%, the seeds of it came out of that period of American history. I’ve been filming it in New York and Newport, Rhode Island. It’s been a blessing to have a place to go and be creative and manage to feed myself so we can keep doing the band.

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spirit-science-blog · 3 years

Video

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Is it just me...or is there a distinct lack of great staple Halloween-holiday movies? I mean, sure, we have stuff like Hocus Pocus or the creepy cacophony of horror movies like the Exorcist or the Conjuring to watch while hiding under our blankets and stuffing our faces with candy… I mean… Grapes, and other healthy snacks… But what’s the Spooktober equivalent of A Christmas Carol or It’s a Wonderful Life? ….CUE the Pumpkin King. Ack, but even then, it’s like… this is more of a November movie. What with it being like a smashup betwixt Halloween and Christmas? Anyways, I’m a sucker for Tim Burton and the music of Danny Elfman. When you combine it with Christmas cheer and Halloween gothic macabre, you get one of the most ambitious crossovers since I mixed my orange and apple juice that one time. A Nightmare Before Christmas isn’t just a holiday favorite. It’s a stop motion masterpiece filled with spiritual lore and depth that speaks to Dharma's Vedic concepts, self-love, and coming to terms with your highest and authentic self. So… since covid is coming in for another wave while Biden miraculously comes out with a vaccine the day he’s elected, let’s have a mashup of our own by mixing last month and next month's holidays into the present moment and jump into some spirituality!

So look, this movie is a legend, and it also came out in 1993 - so we’re going to skip the summation and jump straight into the hidden meaning. If you haven’t seen it yet, well, you’re nearly 30 years late to the party, but here's your obligatory spoiler warning.

Subtly echoed in the overall narrative of this film is the Indo-Tibetan concept of Dharma. The wide-ranging belief that every organism has a role to play in a well-ordered cosmos and must play that role and no other, including our duties, rights, laws, conduct, virtues, and "right way of living." Throughout the film, Jack discovers that as wonderful a thing as Christmas is, it is not his thing. He isn’t good at it. It’s not something in accordance with his natural flow... But more importantly, there’s an idea that he can’t give up who he is for who he wants to be. He’s confronted with the fact that he has to discover the inherent value of who he is instead of trying to be something else just because it’s apparently “good” or better.

This may be one of the most powerful truths of this movie. The fact that something is a good thing–whether it is Christmas, a loving nature, or pretty much anything else–doesn’t mean that it is the only good thing. Adding to this is the idea that other things that strike us as scary or deeply uncomfortable can be good too, and this idea is mirrored in the sets. One could argue that Halloweentown and its inhabitants represent the darker or shadow aspects of ourselves, the parts of our being that are seemingly negative and often “scary” to us. Conversely, Christmastown is reminiscent of all the beneficial elements. Much like Yin and Yang, the two towns act as reflections of each other, helping to balance the world they’re in.

When these holidays interact with our world, we embrace them in their appropriate set and setting. But it’s when people expect Christmas and get Halloween that things go haywire… perhaps if each town represents our inner natures, there’s an idea we can take from this about how when our light side and dark side cross into each other, they can cause us some confusion and chaos. Yet, in the end, it’s through that interaction that we grow and learn, and these aspects augment their original power and balance. They learn about each other, discover ways to coexist peacefully, each part of ourselves respecting the other, and their part of the whole.

The challenge arises when Jack feels he’s mastered Halloweentown, his current domain. It’s not just boredom he’s feeling...if you listen to his lament at the beginning, his sentiment echoes one I’m sure most of us on a spiritual path have thought at some point, a yearning for something more significant than the world he’s currently in. His rendition of “Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones, an emptiness began to grow, there’s something out there, far from home, a longing that I’ve never known” is reminiscent of C.S Lewis’ Mere Christianity “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another one.”

What’s funny is that Jack is basically like a king in his domain. He’s got it all, he’s the boss of Halloween, but all the acclaim and vindication he gets feels hollow in comparison to his inner search for meaning. Ultimately, his inner knowing that something greater is out there isn’t one that material pleasure can satisfy; it’s spiritual. Something that is seemingly echoed in his little song when he reaches Christmastown, his own Hall of Amenti..he states, “And in my bones, I feel a warmth that’s coming from inside...This empty place inside of me is filling up”.

When Jack finds Christmastown, he is fascinated with this new world's innocence and solace and recognizes that this is what he was being called to experience….Something that is interestingly reminiscent of many people’s first Astral Travel experiences. Funnily enough, his first approach is to study it scientifically and lock himself away in his tower, to find the “Christmas feeling” inside objects. Much like trying to find a feeling or aspect of consciousness within the brain, this approach fails. It points to how the mechanistic approach to the psyche has been unsuccessful in explaining the phenomena arising from brain region correlations. Jack sings, "But what does it all mean?” as he tries to understand an experience, not a thing. And yet, ironically, he’s studying *things* trying to find meaning. He ultimately concludes that "just because I cannot see it doesn't mean I can't believe it."

After Santa is kidnapped, that’s when things start to go down hill...and interestingly, Sally, the rag doll woman who is crushing on Jack, actually has a vision that it’s all going to go wrong. Still, Jack is so blinded by his lust for new experiences that he ignores her. Wait a minute...the dichotomy between action and vision...masculine and feminine...feeling vs. action...sigh...this whole Sacred Masculine/Divine feminine thing is getting easier to spot.

Sally embodies the feminine quite well; she’s wise, understanding, loving, intuitive, and even seemingly taps into the Source to see a future outcome. She loves Jack even before his failed Christmas fiasco, but is primarily locked away -symbolically and physically later on by Oogie Boogie, and also goes often ignored, but is a figure who is ultimately a guiding force and can see the higher perspective of things. Yep, she checks all the boxes for how the divine feminine has appeared in our world… Jack, her counterpart who embodies the Sacred Masculine, and maybe a bit of the King archetype at times - is a leader, has direction, and takes action and initiative. He takes care of his people, and his people help him follow his dreams… No matter how misguided. Albeit, as we explored, he can be stubborn, and when the two can’t work together or largely ignore each other, the natural order is upset, and things descend into Chaos.

And I mean proper Chaos… worldwide panic erupts as children encounter their scary presents, and the armies of the world shoot Jack and his sleigh out of the sky...he’s immortal though, so it’s no biggie. But as he falls into the arms of a Graveyard Angel. This probably signifies his spiritual death pending rebirth as his plans failed and he must evolve his consciousness to move forward; as soon after, he finally sees his blindness, coming to the understanding that he is meant to be the Pumpkin King and will carry out that role even better next year. After Jack’s failed attempt to do Christmas himself, both towns come to appreciate their differences and the good things each holiday has to offer. Jack’s attempts at Christmas were directed mainly toward the symbols and visible elements of the holiday. When he got around to pursuing the real, more profound meaning of it, his search was utterly clouded by his selfishness and perspective of trying to incorporate what he was already familiar with…

In a way, it is kind of like religious syncretism. Jack tries to practice Christmas and Halloween simultaneously. Doing so stays loyal to neither, showing us the dangers of artificially trying to combine cultures and beliefs without fully understanding them both... Despite his endeavor's colossal failure, Jack still sees the value of having experienced everything and regrets nothing. He learns the lesson instead of feeling sorry for himself and dwelling in self-hatred. He is happy he tried and put himself out there, and goes into making things right, even after his mistake, seemingly coming more into alignment with his true self in the process, and eventually finds a renewed love of his role.

It’s also interesting that our hero is flawed and comes from the seemingly “dark” side of things. Even though we all love Jack, he’s an Evil Lord type...and yet, this approach serves to humanize him and his town and what they represent, allowing us to understand where the darker characters and attributes are coming from, see the light in them as well. It teaches that darkness also has some value, and those who are born playing those darker roles in life are fulfilling their role in this life on earth. The Halloweentown’s people are all pretty supportive, caring, and collaborative with each other, not traits you usually associate with monsters and demons. Maybe there’s a lesson here that even the darker aspects of ourselves can still ultimately come from a place of love if we acknowledge their purpose and role in our experience.

After Oogie is unraveled like a ball of yarn, Santa sets off to make things right but leaves the residents of Halloweentown with a parting gift...making it snow, allowing all the residents to experience that same joy that Jack felt when experiencing Christmas for the first time, which in a way fulfills Jack’s original dream of genuinely understanding Christmas.

I’m sure there’s a part of this that speaks to experiencing things to truly understand them, rather than just being told about them by someone else. As he flies away, Santa shouts "Happy Halloween!" and Jack replies by yelling "Merry Christmas!" which is pretty funny, but also serves to show that each side has become more balanced and acknowledges the role each other plays in their world.

All in all, ANBC doesn't fit as a Christmas movie in the conventional sense, but it doesn’t work as a Halloween one either, which is really what makes it so great. It’s a part of both seasons and is itself a pretty balanced movie...which is so meta, I love it. What’s very curious here is that Jack makes the mistake of thinking his calling lies somewhere else, rather than where he already is. Yet, the longing within him for something more compelled him into this search and discovery of something new, even though it wasn’t meant for him to give, it was meant for him to receive. Though his intentions are good, he misses this critical point and nearly ruins himself and the holiday he has come to love. Yet through his failure, he realizes who he is from a different perspective. Perhaps there is an idea here that sometimes we also have to fail to discover who we are….and chances are, we often come back stronger and more in alignment with our goals every time we fall. After all, what is a failure but the opportunity to start over, only wiser?

Until next time, it still kind of feels like October, but then again, this year has blended into one long continuous stream at this point, hasn’t it… So Happy Holidays for whatever season you’re in when you end up watching this video! Toodles.

#spirituality #science #ascension #mystery school #spirit science

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thesinglesjukebox · 4 years

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EMINEM - DARKNESS

[2.20]

We’ve come to talk about Em again...

Alfred Soto: Good lord -- an Eminem single called "Darkness," surprised yet? The Simon and Garfunkel interpolation and sound effects come off as cheap contexualizing for the sake of a bait-and-switch in which Em unmasks himself as Stephen Paddock. With critics paying renewed attention to the complexity of his flow, it's also worth stressing that ability tethered to self-pity deserves scorn. [4]

Brad Shoup: I swear to Christ I saw the title and knew he was gonna interpolate Simon and Garfunkel. But I also knew he and Royce were making their own "Six Feet Deep," and I was way off. Turns out it's a creative-writing assignment designed to keep the grader's pen dangling forever. What do you do with something detailed so painstakingly and painfully? The parallels Em draws are clever enough linguistically. (Has any song ever flattered Genius annotators more?) But the only ones that feel legit involve substance abuse. This is a megalomaniacal idea presented bashfully -- I should be grateful he isn't trying to do voice acting -- and framed thoughtlessly. The gunshots and screams are ghoulish enough without considering how the rest of his catalog uses them as cartoon gags. A fantastically bad idea that I will be thinking about for at least as long as the song's excruciating runtime. [5]

Kylo Nocom: Em forces the audience to endure his balladry, only to reveal that they were, like, empathizing with the Las Vegas shooter the entire time! The set-up is... intriguing (to call it "well-executed" feels like making another lame pun he'd squeeze in) yet it still sucks in many ways that don't even require public moral outcry: the sound effects spoil the twist way too early, his singing burps out remnants of emo rap, the beat samples fucking Simon & Garfunkel, and I still hate the sound of this guy's voice doing anything. To write any more on this feels like losing a game that Eminem will win -- a point he makes annoyingly often and remains true. But it's a shame that something meant to be poignant from the guy comes out as weak shock humor. [3]

Julian Axelrod: In theory, I'm not mad that Eminem is still trying to pivot to Social Commentary Anthems. I guess I'd rather hear him use his platform to wrestle with knotty issues than peddle stale punchlines about killing Honey Boo Boo or whatever. But what's really frustrating is Eminem's refusal to drop his gimmicks when it matters. You can't make a song about real life survivors and reference Saturday Night Fever. You can't condemn gun violence at festivals and condemn festival-goers concerned about gun violence. And regardless of the subject matter, you cannot punctuate a belabored alcohol-as-gun metaphor by muttering "Double entendre" like a sadistic, self-satisfied SparkNotes. That's the worst part: No one outside of Eminem's stanbase will be swayed by this, and very few within it will either. When will his reign of terror end? When no one cares. [0]

Isabel Cole: Oh, fuck you: for being tacky enough to open a limp-pulsing track called "Darkness" with a phrase that's been memed into meaninglessness and then marrying it to our particular American plague so that I feel irrationally bad about dismissing it with a flippant joke. But, fine, Eminem has put on his (boring, ill-fitting) big boy clothes, so let's do this. Being a grown-up, like being an artist, means being accountable for your choices, beginning with not just the choice to rap from the perspective of a mass shooter (although it's hard to imagine a level of artistic merit or political efficacy that would justify that decision), but specifically the choice of this shooter, this tragedy. It's easy to imagine why this particular incident would call to Eminem, from the infamy of the body count to the anxiety he must feel about the possibility of a similar event striking one of his own audiences. In choosing a mass murderer who remains so enigmatic, Eminem gets to dwell in the alleged mystery of violence, emphasizing its senselessness even to those who commit it. But it's more than the scale that makes that massacre unusual (although the scale also bears on the irresponsibility of his selection: come on, dude, how can you profess concern and not see yourself laying the groundwork for some other asshole to think "if I kill enough people someone famous will write a song about me?"); the perpetrator had no known history of domestic violence, but the majority of such men do. You can't talk about American violence without talking about American misogyny, and selecting a narrative that enables you to avoid the connection between the two marks you as someone with nothing to contribute to the conversation; implicitly generalizing this genderless narrative by layering news audio clips of shooting after shooting brings it from stupid to evil, emphasizing the pervasive danger of American culture now that men are dying too. This is of course particularly galling coming from goddamn Eminem, who has profited so handsomely from the commodification of violence against women. Galling partly because it retroactively dims whatever insights on the topic he may have laid claim to: rather than the inscrutable, almost mystical lost soul portrayed here, most of these men are something more like the narrator of "Love the Way You Lie" plus a couple years on the wrong parts of Reddit. He could have chosen to bridge that gap for his long-time listeners, to make the connection between hating the bitch who ruined your life and being self-centered enough to want to watch the world burn, but he didn't. Making me wonder what exactly he thought he was rapping about all those years, if he finds this form of violence so novel. [0]

Will Rivitz: I see Lin-Manuel's done away with his orchestra's string section. [2]

Andy Hutchins: The distance between "Hi, kids! Do you like violence? / Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids?" and a three-verse double entendre that doesn't exactly strain itself to not sympathize with one of history's most nefarious mass murderers is not as far as one should probably walk in 20 years of life. A less clever rapper would not have found as many ways firearms buttress our vernacular; a cleverer one might have made this song about that instead of a five-minute trigger warning. A wiser one wouldn't have attempted this at all: Noble though the aim may be, there is no target audience here. [3]

Will Adams: Eminem stepping into the mind of a mass shooter is not surprising. Punctuating said narrative with in media res sound effects (shower curtains! pill bottles! loading clips! screams!), turning "The Sound of Silence" into a Talkboy sample, and making this shit five and a half minutes long? That takes extra chutzpah. [2]

Katherine St Asaph: I suspect the efforts to prevent copycat shootings were doomed ages ago, if not after Columbine then definitely after Rodger. Even if every mass shooter permanently closed off his chosen inspiration to all future comers, there are still enough sprees strewn throughout history -- hell, just through this millennium -- to produce years of trauma; and even if every media outlet declined to report shooters' names or manifestos, all of that would still circulate on chans and Discords (where they probably originated anyway) that any given proto-shooter is far more likely to read than the Associated Press, and infinitely more likely to trust. It's a failure of imagination: far easier to high-mindedly decline to acknowledge shootings than to reckon with them, to dissect and understand what makes them happen and more importantly what doesn't, and thus learn how to stop them. As a certain folk duo sang, silence like a cancer grows -- which brings us to Eminem's "Sound of Silence"-sampling, presumably cautionary foray into the Vegas shooter's mind. If your average caustic millennial isn't reading the mainstream news, he's definitely not listening to Eminem in 2020, and yet "Darkness" crumples under the burden of needing to not inspire anyone. The rapping is low-energy, the rhymes distractingly stiff or goofy -- trigger/convictions, booze/snooze -- the flow lumbering and often just bad. Where Disturbed heightened "The Sound of Silence" to Game of Thrones grandeur, Em and Royce -- perhaps building on a popular mashup -- desiccates it. The arrangement is the midpoint of Alex da Kid and "Teardrop": a smothering quicksand, meant to drag listeners into inertia and keep them there. (For all the gunshots-and-cussing masculinity of this, the piano loop reminds me most of Sarah Brightman's cover of "Scarborough Fair": delicately hypnotic.) Eminem conveys neither Slim Shady's glee nor "Love the Way You Lie"'s visceral anger, nor much but a morose slog, but give him this: It is mostly impossible to imagine someone hearing "Darkness" and buying a gun. Mostly. Why, if you're aiming not to inspire, would you musically accompany the killing-spree verse by finally moving past line two of "The Sound of Silence," to where the melody gratifyingly blooms upward? The vodka bottles in the video -- the lyrics' metaphorical gun, shown in appealing product-placement close-up -- are thankfully fake prop brands -- but then why do the close-ups at all? Most tellingly, Eminem chooses one of the few shooters with no manifesto to disseminate and few known motivations. Whether that's out of a desire to avoid spreading the truly hateful shit (which would be a recent development), to avoid the issue in general, or just to play the guy with the biggest body count, it means he gets away with lines like "you'll never find a motive, truth is I have no idea" instead of engaging with the specific kind of nihilism shooters are all too happy to tell you about -- a nihilism that is, in some part, his creation. When will this end? When enough people care what "this" is. Begrudging point for the part where, after Eminem says "magazines," the video cuts to actual magazines, like the glossy paper kind: the best trolling he's done in years, specifically of the sort of gunfuckers who were already halfway through a comment about him saying "clips." I suppose it's not the bleakest way he's made people laugh. [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: At one point Eminem had the capacity to make jokes. He's way funnier here, his faux-double entendres and sampha-soundalike Simon and Garfunkel interpolation adding up to something so maudlin and obvious that it's almost impossible to listen to as serious political rap. It's not even disgusting. [0]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Eminem #rap #music #music review #hip hop

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