I should not have to go through the grief process everytime I edit my search on ao3. I look up a reader insert, it's like 500 fics, I edit the search to be for gen and multi, there's only 4 fics and none of them are gn, more than 1 chapter, or are even a reader insert. I can make fics for these fandoms but by fuck I can't do it alone. Also don't tag your fics gn!reader if they aren't, please. You get my hopes up and then they crash and burn.

You Again...

Commission for cloud-gutz here on DeviantART!

This is just a vent. I just thought I would talk about it because I never see anyone else talk about it. So, in case it wasn’t obvious, my current hyper fixation right now, and for the last 5 or so years has been Miraculous Ladybug. The problem with this? I really don’t enjoy Miraculous that much anymore yet I feel the need to consume any and all content of it. If it’s brought up in discussion you can bet I’ll be jumping in. And I really hate that. It’s not even just the fact I probably scared so many people off with it... it’s just how much it drives me insane that I can’t drop this thing that I don’t particularly enjoy anymore simply because I seem to hold onto the ideas and concepts I love or I keep getting excited over things I eventually realize I don’t care about anymore.  I don’t even know why Miraculous speaks to me so much. Much like I didn’t know why Sonic the Hedgehog spoke to me so much. Grant it, I had very few moments where I didn’t enjoy Sonic. I’m not sure why. That hyper fixation lasted way longer than I originally thought. Apparently like 10-11 years. That was until Miraculous came along and suddenly Sonic was just an interest. Do I have to wait like another 5-6 years until I finally find something to come along and replace Miraculous? Why can’t I just find something else now? There’s plenty of other things I like enough to obsess over that I would much rather be my hyper fixation so I don’t have to ruin someone else’s interests in Miraculous because I’m apparently just so bitter or focus on things that don’t seem to matter. I absolutely adore the concepts of Miraculous. I have collected any concept I can find and have it saved in a file. This is actually something I like about it but I feel like I just can’t talk about it. I feel like I overwhelm people whenever I try to talk about it. And understandably, most people don’t really care too much about the concepts and would rather focus on the actual produced product. It’s kind of aggravating being so sucked into something you either don’t enjoy or the stuff you do is not something a lot of people care about. I don’t blame those people either it’s just particularly painful because I can’t just... let it go. And don’t get me started on the comments. “Well... if you don’t like it... just don’t watch it or interact with it.” They make it sound so easy. Why isn’t it easy for me? It should be easy! Comments like, “You... talk about this a lot. I’m just not into it as much as you.” with that look like I’m weird. It shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. But it does. Especially because to me it’s just normal.  Why is my normal not normal? Why can’t I just move on?  It’s aggravating that no one else seems to get it. It’s aggravating that I’m treated like this is some sort of crutch or escape from reality that I just refuse to let go of. It’s aggravating that, if I mention this frustration, all I get is pity.  It’s just aggravating. I know ultimately it’s not going to kill me and it’s not the end of the world. I’ll find something new eventually and one day I can look back on my interest in Miraculous appreciate it for what it was.  Of course there’s a lot of good that’s come out of it and I’m not discounting that. But right now I feel stuck and I don’t like it. Had a similar feeling with Sonic the Hedgehog even when I mostly liked it. That’s probably why I was so grateful for Miraculous Ladybug in the beginning. Sometimes I just don’t like feeling stuck.

The links are broken at least on my end for Corruption and it's Depth. I don't know what happened or what Tumblr did, cause they were working yesterday. So I'll fix them in a bit.

Bought a book, excited to try and start reading again (and actually do it this time, rather then continue to just hang on to them for decoration purposes 😅🤣) only to find out that this book the second in the series... 😑

Oh well! Still got into it, still gonna go for it. But I'm finally actually reading again! I'm excited about that... still slightly annoyed about it though. Haha. 😁

It doesn't need to be in order, I can still enjoy it. Will I? Honestly most likely. Will it still make me asolutely insane? 1000%. Why does it bother me? Because I'm absolutely insane

//being on a phone in bed sucks because typing is slow and I get left behind as a result

i like thinking that laios would go crazy on birdwatching after the [SPOILERS] curse

The one thing I dislike is the fact that I don't have any asks or anons. Like, at all. I've had about two or three, max. And it's literally the only thing I want! I just want a freaking ask or anon every now and then! I've begged and asked to get it for quite a while, but still nothing. Completely empty. And it's not just that, no. Reblogs. Oh, what are those? Yeah, I don't think many people know what reblogs even are anymore! Or comments! I've gotten a single comment on any of my work! One!

I don't want to seem annoying or mad about this, but it doesn't really make me happy knowing the one thing I want on this app is something I won't get.

*pacing around in circles like a dog* it’s fine it’s fine it’s sssoooooo fine i’m normal

i need to mute fee naf on twitter you guys couldnt boycott a paper bag if it saved your life

[ CHASE ] / larry & fiadh

🔪 YOU THOUGHT BITCH! 🔪

Not Accepting.

Now, it was fairly well known by now that Lawrence had a new favorite, and not only did he have his eyes set on someone, but they had also willingly chosen to be with him.

In the past, his flavor of the month's barely made it through the courtship stage— Fiadh had, apparently, been the exception and was now a permanent fixture in Lawrence's life and, of course, his many soireés. And while it should have been common knowledge that she was OFF LIMITS, some people liked to live dangerously.

And Lawrence usually found those people fun. Their daring nature made it easier for them to be manipulated into increasingly dangerous scenarios that could potentially end their life in the silliest of ways— however, in this one's case, Lawrence just wanted him to fuck off already.

There's a bark of laughter at the joke the other had told (Lawrence wasn't even sure it was funny but he laughed regardless). "You're sooo funny!" His nose scrunched up as he speaks. the gesture seemingly innocent to the naked eye.

But Lawrence always seemed to suddenly get a sense of humor whenever he was feeling homicidal.

His hand grips the man by the scruff of his neck, holding him close in a friendly little side hug. Lawrence was all for breaking other people's personal bubbles, always putting himself too close and making everyone uncomfortable. "Such a funny guy— ain't he a funny guy, babe? So fuckin' funny." He's shaking that man's neck like he's a bobblehead. "Now, I've gotta talk to Fiadh here...so go enjoy the hors d'oeuvres, stuff your stupid fuckin' face, choke on 'em for all I care— just go because I promised her I wouldn't kill anyone tonight and I don't wanna break my promise and break your neck in the process. M'kay pumpkin?" He releases the bobblehead, smacking the back of his head for good measure. "M'kay— fuck off."

Do you ever try to have a honest conversation with someone and their response is to stop something instead of change the way the interaction or conflict happens?

It’s so weird because that wasn’t the point but in this case it kinda just proves my concern further.

Also makes me think that conflict management only goes so far because some people just don’t get it. Tired of being empty though. I know life isn’t about having things reciprocated but I feel like you can only be selfless and your authentic self for so long. Some people just don’t want the authentic you.

and even more amazing was the day Link realised he [redacted] him back

Quiet