//being on a phone in bed sucks because typing is slow and I get left behind as a result

Abbott Elementary 1×13 | 2×22

the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

Maybe instead of procrastinating because I have to write a mission accurate briefing I should focus more on the gay tension that is Ghost shoving his knee up to Soap's thighs and resting his entire leg on his like it's a completely normal thing to do during a meeting instead, maybe that will help this writing session.

I should've been sleeping before my flight but instead I drew Seb as Antinous :D

Reference + Commentary:

SEB IS MY MODERN DAY ANTINOUS, OKAY!? I WOULD DEIFY HIM IF I COULD!!!

But seriously I spent like an hour obsessing over statues of Antinous just thinking; "holy fuck, he reminds me so much of Seb???"

Big, pretty eyes? Check. Magnificent curls? Check. Beautiful side profile? Check. Etc etc.

I read this description of a statue and was instantly struck with "this is so Seb.":

"The body and face of this sculpture are in idealized youth, with plump cheeks and round face, and his hair is usually unkempt. Antinous's hair has also been described as artificial looking, even wig-like, because of how similar the placement of his hair is across statues. His youthful appearance, large eyes, pouting lips, and layered locks of hair over his forehead are some of the iconography that can be used to identify him"(x)

Also which AU of mine is this hmmm. It can be either the Renaissance Muse AU(x) or the random Roman Caesar Fernando AU(x) I drew it with the latter in mind(bcs its basis is literally just Hadrian and Antinous), but it's fun to imagine the Martian version as well!! Maybe an AU of an AU, where Mark is Pygmalion, and Seb is Galatea 🤭🤭

rape is just a thing that may happen during war. we're not saying it didn't happen. it may have occurred. rape is not uncommon in war. it's not a weapon of war, there's no proof it's a pattern of violence against women, it's just something that happens for some reason.

VARGASTOBER - day 1 : edgar vargas

Not Every Film I Watch In 2024

25. The Sleeping Tiger (1954)

Ryoshu and Rodya friendship where they sometimes sleep in each other's room when it gets too much in theirs.

When the candlelight in Ryoshu's gets too bright and suffocating with the heat and reminds her too much of the fire her daughter died in sometimes she knocks (more of. just letting herself in lmao) on Rodya's door to literally cool off.

Sometimes when Rodya's room freezes her down to the bone to the point where that she can't sleep, and the stench and sight of her dead neighbors haunts her every senses, Ryoshu gets a quiet knock on her door, and an even more surprising, a solemnly quiet Rodya outside, asking her if she can take a quick snooze here because she doesn't wanna go out and do the night watch.

Something something the only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you (sad). Fire and ice duo. you get me riht

AT with @dragonuva!

This absolute unit, Imp Steven. 😁 I super love drawing himmmm!

Just some more rambling about the possible future of my regular commissions under the cut.

As my laptop got (fixed?) adjusted recently, I've used this opportunity to try out if it can now handle regular commission work. It started to show something's up on the mild rendering process but the lag and laptop heating didn't actually got that bad until a bit further in the full rendering process. Still has a limitation it seems. I'm planning on testing it a second time on a different piece, then I'll decide whether regular commissions will be fully back the next month or not.

oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!

WIP Wednesday!

Lately I've been working most on my SVSSS fic that's basically a "What if Shen Yuan was a little older and a little more competant". That's it, that's the fic. I have zero idea where it's going to end up, but I've got two chapters worth scribbled down, so that's something! I've also got an outline for a Tangled-inspired Liushen AU that I don't want to start because once I do, I think I'll keep going until it's done and I want to get more done on the longer fic first xD

I've still got plans for the post-MLC fic I'm working on! I really should finish that, since it doesn't have anywhere to go and should just be the one chapter... Who knows. I let words get away from all the time.

I've still got a couple of FF14 WIPs too, though the MSQ follow-along will always be slow going... I do want to finish the Dark Knight fic, but my WoL was in a Not Good headspace when he started that, so it's on a back burner too.

Feel free to Ask me to work on any of these and I'll post a new paragraph~ but either way, enjoy the snippet!

The entire night passed while he read, the morning only making itself known to Shen Yuan when a knock sounded at the entrance to his room and Ming Fan’s voice announced, “Shizun, I left breakfast at the table for you. Please let this disciple know if there is anything further needed.”

“Nothing but privacy, Ming Fan. I am only to be disturbed by meals for the next three days.” While he recovers is not spoken aloud, but carried in the silence that he lets linger a moment longer than it needs to. “Unless another Peak Lord requires my presence.”

Ming Fan bowed and started to leave after confirming the instructions, but was stopped by Shen Qingqiu’s voice adding, “Perhaps I will meditate in the gardens today. If I am not here, let it be known that I am unavailable for company.”

That should cover most possibilities. He was sure Mu Qingfang wouldn’t be back by so soon, but he couldn’t say the same for anyone else. With the worry from Yue Qingyuan that Mu-shidi had mentioned or potential curiosity as to his recent visitors, anyone could come by! And he didn’t want them seeing him practicing basic sword forms like someone who’d never held a sword before.

Since that was exactly what he planned to be doing.

After breakfast of course.

i love waking up early but going to bed early??? is there no joy in this world??? must i be denied even the simplest of pleasures????

semester is almost over. im dying

i feel like i am losing my mind a little bit bc i spent over half of my counselling appt talking about my fear of spiders and this lady kept telling me i should just kill them, and that the only way to get over my fear is to kill them, and i shouldnt catch and release them anymore ??

and now i am thinking about it and wondering do they actually remember how to get into the house,,,,,, if i put them way on the other side of the house in the garden under a plant where its safe, will they just... come back inside? because I don't remember ever seeing any duplicates of spiders that I caught and released, it seems to always be a different looking one each time so :|

but she just seemed so confused and kind of amused by me trying to explain how i think that like... every life has value and I don't think I should be killing spiders if I can avoid doing that. and she straight up laughed at me saying that they are fascinating very interesting little critters.

i don't know, i just feel kind of sick i think. that was just really not what i was expecting and I'm confused like... is this ... the only way I can get over my fear of them? to just start killing them whenever i find one in the house?? that doesn't seem right at all to me but maybe I'm being too soft or something

they talk about values in DBT and how you must make sure your actions don't go against your values, and this seems very backwards to that, especially since this woman started the DBT program at the hospital. so i feel like maybe it's wrong of her to be telling me this, but also maybe she's right about this. idk !!!

ranting to y’all this morning bc y’all are my only friends and I hate everybody else :) long winded rant incoming!! I apologize in advance.

realizing I’ve been way too friendly w ppl and bc of that, they feel like they can try me. And then play victim when I bust back For context, I live in a predominantly yt small town and I’ve been here for years. I get along with everybody for the most part and it’s gotten a lot more diverse so it’s not too bad. Esp compared to when I graduated hs. but like a couple days ago, I changed up my hair color bc I was bored and needed sum different. I don’t work in public so it’s not like I have to have a neutral color and I used to wear different colors all the time when I worked at the local grocery store. Point is, im not new to this, im true to this shit. I used to be a walking rainbow. They’ve seen me before. Anyways, I always talk to a lot of ppl that work in the stores, or just passing by. mainly abt anime bc I’m always wearing something related to it (side note: there are like 3 blk cashiers who are in to animanga in my town and it makes me so happy! We always nerd out and shit) but I wore my new hair color out the other day, which is a orange and brown ombré, just to kinda change it up. Life is too fucking short anyways. I’m stuck in the house all day and when I go out, I tend to stick to the same outfits and hairstyles for no reason other than I’m too lazy to dig through my tons of clothes and 30 other wigs. Besides, I’m coming right back to the house anyways and I’m not tryna impress nobody so who gives a fuck. Well this bitch felt the need to ask me ‘is that all you wear?’ As if my lil AOT shirt was bothering her funky ass and she wasn’t even in the conversation b/w me and my fellow blerd brother working the register. To which I ask her are all her teeth really gone at 21 from doing meth? (It was quiet, no back talk then) and then, that same day, these lil snot nose ass kids call themselves walking by me laughing and trying to be funny. Then they tried to grab at my bag and keychains on them. And had the nerve to run behind their dad and play victim, so I told him that if he doesn’t discipline his kids, I’d beat their asses myself so keep a leash on them. And as if it wasn’t bad enough, another bitch made a sideways comment abt how she didn’t expect me to ‘wear something like that’ and I told her thank god it’s on my head and not hers bc I didn’t ask. Saying all this to say that I’m tired of folks trying me and then acting like bitches when confronted. I don’t like being made to be the aggressor bc a bunch of Mayo maggots can’t shut the fuck up and mind the business that pays them. 😭😭 like do not come for me unless I send for you and damn sure don’t try me. I may smile and be friendly but bitch I’m not. I will hurt y’all.