The Shame sneak

There’s a myth, you see, that grief gets smaller as time goes by. People say it all the time, they never stopped saying it to James when his father died, in fact.  “Don’t worry, James. It’ll feel more manageable soon. Life goes on! Everything happens for a reason. One day you’ll wake up and it won’t be a crushing weight on your chest.” So James believed them for a while, and lived with some hope.  But actually, he came to realise after the first three years passed, that that’s just not the case. Grief isn’t something that gets smaller. You just have to grow with it. It never stops, it stretches on and on, invading your life in unexpected ways. Like, sometimes it’s big things. Remembering their birthday, or the anniversary of the day they died. Visiting their grave, or hearing an old recording of their voice.  Sometimes it’s small things. Seeing a photograph of a friend with their father, knowing you’ll never get to see yourself with your own at this age. Or opening the fridge and remembering you bought that specific brand of yoghurt because it was his favourite too.  Driving to your mother’s and seeing the empty parking space where your father’s car used to sit.  Each of these events provoked something that felt too deep to be called sadness in James. He couldn’t put a name to it, other than what it was: grief. It twisted and turned and worked its way into his every moment.  Until eventually he realised he couldn’t bury it in his past. He had to work with it. He had to accept it and bring it with him everywhere he went.  Somehow, James had to find a way to mould it into something beautiful.  And so, he did

This is a lil something im writing for the Siriusly Hozier fest. It was supposed to be a wolfstar, and something entirely different. Then I started writing it and realised it was so obviously a Jegulus.

Anyway, i'm excited. It feels good to be writing James and Reg again, it's been a while <3

new WIPs...

Hey y'all!

If you've been wondering where I've been lately it's all the fault of my new WIPs (mwahahah) I'm starting a really super-duper hugely exciting project as a part of @imsiriuslyreading's Siriusly Hozier Fest! It will be my first full-length Jegulus fic as well as my first pairing one shots (featuring dorlene, rosekiller, wolfstar, and marylily)!

If you know my other Marauders one-shot story, you'll be familiar with how I typically write Regulus and James....However, for this pairing fic, they'll be slightly different as this time they'll be an (extremely mentally ill) couple, yay lol 🎉 The other background couples (listed above) will get their own one-shots to wrap up their stories after the longer fic is posted. I hope y'all are interested and will join me on this journey!

More info to come!!

siriusly hozier fest

hiya

we're holding a hozier fest! aka... hp fanfic meets forest daddy!

for writers and artists - all welcome! the prompts will be song lyrics from the big man himself (andrew hozier byrne)

the only rules are you gotta be over 18, and use a prompt from the sheet :)

any character, pairing, ship, era, etc. we do not judge. no yucking of yums, etc. we support your rights and wrongs in this house!!!

there are fairly limited spaces because there's only so much heartache a person can handle I'll be honest.

if you'd like to join, drop me a DM for the signup sheet and I'll be sending discord invites out today/tomorrow <3

just curious, have you sent out the hozier fest discord invite yet? i’m simply too excited and don’t mean to be impatient 😂

also question 11 and (or) 14

hiya! no i haven’t yet - it’ll be tomorrow. wednesday april 3rd that i send them out ☺️ i wanted to give as many people as possible the chance to sign up so everyone has access at the same time etc. im very bloody excited! ♥️✨

and the answers to the qu game bahaha:

11: favourite AGE i’ve been so far:

this is such a good question. i’m gona say… this one. the age i am right now. because if there’s one thing ive learned, it’s that growing up and growing old is such a privilege. so every age i reach im more and more grateful.

14: my current desktop picture:

is this one below by my little snindibug @industrations ♥️ their art is my comfort always.

Weekend snip <3

thank you @fiddleleafedfig for the tag!

I actually just finished the Jegulus I was writing for the Siriusly Hozier Fest so... here's a lil snippy snip.

You Called Me Angel For The First Time, My Heart Skipped A Beat.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how you can know someone better than you know anyone else in the world, and yet they can still surprise you? James knew Sirius more intricately than he knew himself. He knew him as if they lived inside of one another. And they did, in a way. There wasn’t a decision that James had made since he was nineteen years old where he hadn’t considered Sirius. There wasn’t a sight he’d seen that he didn’t want to tell him about. Every first listen of a song was with him, every first page of every book was recited to Sirius. Everything he lived, he lived twice, because he needed to share it with the only person he’d ever known and loved well enough to call a brother.  James would lie down in the road in a second and just wait for the traffic to consume him, if Sirius needed him to. And he knew without even needing to ask that Sirius felt the same way. It’s just how they were. Usually, it went unspoken, something passing between them, something that felt like family but more. Occasionally, they spoke to each other about this love that grew around them. How each of them would die for the other without so much as blinking, but they’d live for one another just as willingly too.  Finding out your brother had a brother was a feeling James couldn’t have prepared for even if he’d tried. Finding out your brother had a brother who was, for all intents and purposes, an angel, though... That was something else entirely.

no presh tags @kaaaaaaarf @emjayeingray @lyrrosewrites @anniedreamwilldo @arviyya @solmussa @alarainai @eyra @withmetoghosts @sophsicle @vellichorbindery

hiya!

discord server invites for the Siriusly Hozier Fest have been sent! if you haven’t received yours, please dm me ♥️✨

hey, i’m totally interested in the hozier fest!

hiya!

okay so, as long as you are over 18 and happy to choose from the prompts given….

you can fill this in and select if you’re contributing writing or art:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1iVPjfjdQ6R0RsxAPRhn-IyPOt763Xse5gSqNoug4m-o/edit?usp=sharing

i’ll be sending invites to the discord server out today/tomorrow

there’s a list of hozier lyric prompts for people to choose from - it’s first claim first serve but there’s more than enough to go around!

any character, ship, pairing, era is fine

no rules on word count, just needs to be at least 1 completed one shot, or 1 completed 1st chapter of a multichapter fic.

there will be more info shared in the discord server! ☺️

any other questions drop me a dm!

listen yes i had four hours sleep but its fine because i dont have a lot to do today just a full day of Big Girl Job, walking the dog, planning siriusly hozier fest, recording a chapter of cadence and writing for the lil collab with @emjayeingray and also staying awake and upright hahahahahahshshshahahshdjdhd

it’s fine everything fine i’m literally-

Hopping into ask boxes to ask the important question: how are you? 🫂❤️

oh stop this is so lovely?

im gonna use this as an excuse for a little fandom & life update <3

firstly, ive been reading crimson rivers and its killing me from the inside out.

i've been obsessively recording the cadence of part time poets podfic the last couple of weeks so many more chapters of that are to come shortly!

a couple of friends and i were recently part of a very exciting fandom podcast episode with some very lovely people, more on that soon muahaha

the siriusly dead poets society (our little discord server we started when reading atyd sirius pov that has ended up being the coven part 2) have been working hard on a valentines day fest, all to be revealed tomorrow - I'm very excited for that

i've been writing bits of my WIPs here and there, and also started working on some original fiction which is looking more and more like an 80s wolfstar slow burn by the day

Montana and i have a new I Have No Milk episode coming out very soon (hozier and atyd are heavily mentioned, shock and surprise)

aside from that, im starting a new job soon, my dog simba is still being a nightmare (lovingly), I've planned about 80 different fanfic tattoos i want, i keep attempting to date and then remember im a recluse, and as always, I'm happy and grateful to be here, having a bloody lovely time with you lot.

i hope youre having the best day <3