#shoutout to gay scientists
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so. the line of tape. it's existence makes me lose my marbles to no end, but probably not in the way you'd expect. it's the fact that even with this clear divide they STILL spill over into the others space. i've see a lot of people talk about it as if it's this clear divide in the lab that hermann and newt steer clear from but that just isnt the case!
if it was, you'd expect the lab to look something like this layout
but look at the actual movie
it looks like more akin to something like this
newt's samples, tables, and stands for his dissection tools spill over the line right into hermann's space. there's definitely room on his side of the lab for everything, he's just. spread out across the entire lab instead. AND it seems like this is what the lab usually looks like, hermann only makes to point out the entrails on his side and not the rest of newts things, it's a shared space— not a divided one. what i'm saying is that even though hermann makes a big deal out of his side of the lab versus newts side vis-à-vis the intestines, he definitely doesn't care that much about separating himself from newt OR his space from newts space in general. the way i see it, they argue and bicker a lot but ultimately they find comfort in the others presence, hermann just doesn't want to deal with potentially-hazardous kaiju intestines right by his things ^^;
#pacific rim#pacrim#newmann#hermann gottlieb#newt geiszler#newton geiszler#benny beeps#should i tag this as newmann?????? unsure but im tagging it anyway because the intent is there#also yes i spent way too long illustrating the floor in a stylized and simplified yet faithful manner— what of it#anyway i love them and i'm thinking of them always#shoutout to gay scientists#and also to my friend toad for being willing to talk to me about these guys so often ^^#AND ALSO TO MY FRIEND ATLAS. because he read me the most beautiful think piece about pacrim that he wrote the other day#and im still thinking about it#and one more shoutout to everyone who's interacted with me irl in the year of 2023#because i have not been able to reel in my hyperfixation infodump terror radius at all ffdgjkdlkjg#anywho. uh. have a nice day/night if you're reading this!!!! i'm still working on those fic recs i promise!!!!#just taking longer than expected fjdlfgk i wanna make sure i do each fic justice
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someone needs to take the ability to make ocs away from me I think I’m becoming too powerful
#carissa speaks#I have Never made an oc before now and I don’t know WHY because I’m Crazy#like I get it. I get it now#like yes I play dnd yes I’ve made guys for that but Not Like This#I am worldbuilding like Fucking Crazy#shoutout to fucked up steampunk scientists (and they were lab partners 😩)#fellas is it gay to accidentally take ur lab partner out of the space time continuum while making a Time Machine#and then wait for him for Three Days before you realize Oh He’s Not Coming Back#and then bypass the government to connect your Time Machine to the city’s power source to get him back#and then accidentally rip the CITY out of spacetime in your desperation#getting u charged with a cosmic level crime?#idk I think it is
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Just learned that slut in romanian means hideous so that means he's double the slut!!
(I am going to draw so many uglysexy people btw)
#I mean it's not like this aint what I've been doing all along but#but I mean. shoutouts to my fellow incompetent pathetic men!#Im gonna catch som#e Zs and while I'm at it I'll try to come up with a backstory for him#but idk it was just a character design warmup thing... Im not vibing with the design tbh.... nothing special about it#(and it's not gay enough either)#I will pattern the coat tho cuz it would be neat#oc#digital art#doodle#my art#character design#punk#messy art#mad scientist#gay#I am sleepy and silly and and ZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Shoutout to that shy gay little scientist in the outbreak episode that laughed at Shawn’s Back to the Future reference because he developed a mad crush on him in like 60 seconds. Not only do I feel that on a spiritual level, but I would die for you
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The Best News of Last Week - November 7, 2022
🏳️🌈 - Meet the best-looking couple in the world
1. Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Argentina reveal they secretly got married
Beauty pageant queens Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Argentina secretly tied the knot on Friday after revealing they had been in a relationship.
In a joint Instagram post, newlyweds Fabiola Valentín, from Puerto Rico, and Mariana Varela, from Argentina, said: “After deciding to keep our relationship private, we opened the doors to them on a special day 28/10/22.”
Would this be the best-looking couple in the world? 😂
2. Book banning attempt defeated after community stands up for LGBTQ people
After a heated public debate, the Greenville County Council in South Carolina voted to keep LGBTQ books accessible to children at the public library.
A resolution from city Councilor Joe Dill — who recently lost the Republican primary and will not be maintaining his seat — proposed requiring the 12-location library system in the area to remove books “promoting sexuality” from all children’s sections.
They refused to allow “Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe” by Benjamin Alier Sáenz on the shelf due to “unnatural sexual behavior” when it has one gay kiss but Twilight has an entire human vampire hybrid. Glad the fight was finally won.
3. Man released from California prison after 38 years following DNA test
Maurice Hastings cleared of murder charge after testing of long-held evidence points to another person.
4. The shrinking ozone hole shows that the world can actually solve an environmental crisis
The ozone is on the path to recovery, if not fully restored. New data released on October 26 by NASA indicates that the annual ozone hole over the Antarctic reached an average area of 8.9 million square miles over the past year. That’s slightly smaller than last year, and continues a trend toward overall shrinking over the past several years.
“Over time, steady progress is being made, and the hole is getting smaller,” Paul Newman, chief scientist for earth sciences at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, said in a statement. “The elimination of ozone-depleting substances through the Montreal Protocol is shrinking the hole.”
5. Children refill a stranger’s empty Halloween candy bowl
6. Icelandair Announces Carbon-Free Flights by 2030
The airline will operate only emissions-free aircraft for its domestic routes. Some of these flights could start as early as 2026.
They will use only electric or hydrogen-powered planes. This decision puts Icelandair at the forefront of sustainable aviation, considering that other airlines are only aiming to reach net-zero emissions by 2050.
7. Blindness Awareness Month: Don’t just be aware, be a friend
October was blindness awareness month, a month devoted to educate others about the realities of living without sight and to advocate for those who are blind or have low vision.
Because of this I wanted to give a shoutout to Be My Eye app. Be My Eyes connects people needing sighted support with volunteers and companies through live video around the world.
That’s it for this week. If you liked this post you can support this newsletter with a small kofi donation:
Buy me a coffee ❤️
Have a great week ahead :)
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Top 5 Transformers (please educate me)
Oh baby I'm gonna go hammy (please note I'm mostly going off Transformers Prime iterations because that's the only show I've watched all the way through)
These are my personal favorites:
5. Wheeljack
An inventor with a penchant for making things explode (sometimes on purpose), in Prime he's also a samurai/cowboy lone wolf type, a good mix of badass and goofy.
4. Shockwave
Mad scientist who runs exclusively on logic, basically warcrime central, God is probably afraid of him given how he spends his time in the show reviving actual dragon fossils like it's no big deal.
Also his lil antennas move
3. Ratchet
Tired and annoyed grandpa, he's so done with everyone's shit and a total grump, but also, a giant dork. Big ok boomer energy, did robot steroids once and went absolutely nuts for an episode, and on top of everything he's voiced my Jeffrey goddamn Combs.
2. Knockout
He's the doctor, but for the villains. I can't get enough of him, he's a flashy red sports car, so flamboyantly gay he literally is canonically married in the comics (special shoutout to his himbo husband Breakdown). He's a catty vain sadistic bastard and he carries it so well, look at him go.
1. Starscream
Poor little meow meow supreme, literally so iconic he got an entire trope named after him. He's ambitious, cowardly, treacherous and has an ego the size of a planet but as fragile as glass. He's literally so pathetic and yet somehow cool, I want to hug him and punch him in the face all at once.
Not to mention voiced excellently by Steve Blum
Really just the transformer ever <3
Plus, look at his hips
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You've infected me with tazercraft brain brainrot. I am going crazy over these silly little guys- I am violently American and I know approx 10 words in PT [working on it tho, shoutout to portuguese pod 101 on yt lol] but they're just so <3<3<<3 thank you for talking about them it helps me understand em better
THEY'RE SO SILLYYYYY they're silly theyre master criminals theyre mad scientists they're one gay as fuck Pretending-To-Be-Weak shy slut and one bi aroace Very Angry And Ready To Explode Shit creeper-slime guy and they're ready to destroy everything if they feel like it
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shoutout to the danbert militia for hanging onto a ship that only appeared in two* movies and will never be expanded upon. ily guys and you are so right. mad scientists are gay as fuck
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10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags
okay! I am going to do this, I guess! tagged by the wonderful @nostradamus0 who never fails to yell about ducks when I want to yell about ducks.
tagging @gayrootvegetable, @ithinkhobiknows @kataangiscanon @coyotelemon @cursedheir @tiekawaititi @vibee2001 @acting-like-an-optimist @camilleleon22 and anyone else who feels like doing the challenge. Also, the character descriptions aren't necessary; I just felt like doing it.
Caspian from Pantheon. What a gay loser this kid is. He's got trauma, I'VE got trauma. I want my bedroom to be as purple as his.
Darcy Olsson from Heartstopper. A blonde weirdo who breaks the rules and makes new ones and definitely shouldn't have had vodka in Paris.
Callie Torres from Grey's Anatomy. A bisexual icon! A magical, magical person! YES I am still crying thinking about her yelling at the homophobic priest in that one episode. She really made me feel seen when I watched the show.
Bolin from The Legend of Korra. Such a himbo. Kind of knew but didn't really know his brother was in prison. Deserved better emotional storytelling. Sweet nerd. Would probably cry if you gave him a snack from your lunchbox.
Lena Luthor from Supergirl. SHE'S REALLY GAY AND SHE WEARS A LOT OF SWEATERS. SHE SHOULD WEAR EVEN MORE.
Uncle Ryan from Primo. He's so weird and he's so proud of himself for his community college training program. The man held himself a graduation ceremony that included him, balloons, and a printer printing out his certificate. PEAK COMEDY. Mike Schur, you mad genius.
Tahani al-Jamil from The Good Place. An absolute lesbian.
Ann Perkins from Parks and Rec. Also a lesbian. I NEED TO WRITE THIS FIC SOMEDAY. "Are you asking me how to flirt with men?" and "someone pointed out to me recently that, when I date a guy, I kind of adopt his entire personality as my own" and the banquet episode where everyone thinks she's Leslie's date and "tragically, we are both heterosexual" -- COME ON. THE WOMAN IS GAY.
Chris Beck from The Martian. He is a geek that other geeks bow down to. Scientist doctor man, I am in love with you.
Eda from The Owl House: look, I just think she's neat and I want her to be my mom. Also, obligatory shoutout to Lilith, an ace icon.
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Shipper tag game
tagged by my friend @sunriseverse (hi friend!!!!!)
What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?
johnlock. listen. i'm aware. i am aware. Thankfully I've grown as a person and now I don't care about anything or anyone associated with that mess of a show.
Which ship would you consider your first one?
uhhhhhh aang/katara maybe? I really wasn't interested in romance that much until like middle school, but I do remember thinking katara and aang should get together as a kid.
Your first fanfic was about which couple?
probably destiel. Actually wait no, guaranteed destiel.
Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?
i was in middle school when Twilight came out, so I can almost guarantee you somebody drew Bella and Edward fanart and showed me. I don't actually know this for sure though, this is just a guess. The first fanart I actually remember seeing was Percy/Annabeth.
Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?
lmao no. it's just not worth it literally ever
Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?
mmm not really. i have ships where I just don't see it, but I don't usually feel all that strongly about it.
Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?
Sam/Jack from Stargate! This is entirely @kbunny10 's fault, she got me into Stargate and now I have Feelings.
Currently, do you have any OTPs?
I mean, always. The biggest ones are probably Morgwen, Sam/Jack, destiel (i thought i was free but then nov 5 happened so......). But I'm not super actively a shipper these days
Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?
no bc everyone i've ever wanted to get together did so in my heart. Sam and Jack should've gotten together on screen, but In My Heart they did get together so it's chill.
Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?
not that i can think of! my romantic tastes tend to be relatively consistent honestly. maybe the gay ones before i became not homophobic (and then not straight! yayyyyyy!!!!! :D )
Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?
again, none that i can think of! I'm kind of a normie tbh
What is your favorite crack ship?
so this isn't actually a crack ship but like. Captain Hook and the daughter of Snow White/Prince Charming on OUAT got together. That was a real thing. They really said "you know who we should pair with our main character, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming? Famous villain Captain Hook. Yeah we're gonna make him young and sexy so it's fine." That was a real thing!! It aired on television and I was REALLY invested!! Man OUAT was such a wild ride lmao
What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?
i thought it was destiel but i checked by ao3 bookmarks and apparently newmann are still unbeat!! shoutout to the year where i was obsessed with those gay little scientists, i went absolutely NUTS for them. My newmann fics that I bookmarked are more than the #2 and #3 ships COMBINED.
What do most of your ships usually have in common?
there's usually an earnestness or a sincerity that either one or both of them has. where one person is just like very open about how much they like/admire the other, or where they engage with people so trustingly, or something along those lines. sometimes its sincere4snarky, sometimes its sincere4sincere, and sometimes its "i'm only earnest around you"
What you absolutely hate in a ship?
lack of communication. it drives me INSANE. unless they're miscommunicating about their feelings for each other, then it's great. but otherwise i hate it bc like, this is your partner!! talk to them!! what the fuck!!
Tagging: @kbunny10, @inesathammar, @cawfeeann, @lacigarra, and anyone else who wants to do this!
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beest warbs s2
andddddd ruth and i finished s2!!
new opening! which is mostly just clips from the s1 finale
ok i guessed that optimus would come back bc like, duh. but i was surprised that he didnt come back like, Instantly
the new transmetal forms............................ugliy
sorry bhjsdkrhfjkasfk i dont like them....i cant believe im saying it but i prefer the cgi animals from s1 😩 it made sense! it tied into the premise of the show! now theyre just these weird shiny robo-animals...who also can fly and drive around and stuff...nah fam that aint it
cheetor doesnt even have freckles anymore 😭
also as the season went on the whole ‘energon shorts out robot forms, which necessitates beast forms’ thing was kinda quietly dropped, which doesnt make 100% sense since not that many characters got the transmetal forms
the funniest fucking thing is that the s2ep1 summary was literally just ‘terrorsaur and scorponok fucking die’ and THAT WAS IT hjdfksjkfjadfhjlad ruth and i saw that and were like HUH???
and honestly their deaths were so abrupt and unceremonious that i seriously would not have even known they had Legit Died if it hadnt been for that summary. i literally wouldve thought that theyd just end up going in a CR chamber and it wouldve been confusing as hell when they didnt come back lmaooooo
so yeah rip beta cuck and diet diet starscream lite i guess
ok and ep 2 was wild, with dinobot going on ANOTHER Shakespeare soliloquy spree, and then all that western stuff at the end??????
that was so fucking weird and hilarious. wtf
also have i mentioned...i love dinobot. dramatic gay bitch
also....new characters! silverbolt and quickstrike are here to quickly replace terrorsaur and scorponok lmaoooo
why does quickstrike have a southern accent when the south doesnt even exist yet as a cultural region
i love how immediately obvious it was that silverbolt was not gonna stay a predacon for long lmao
and then optimus primal returns!! looking wack as FUCK
hvhakjdfnbskjdf sorry but i dont like his new look at all lmao. he looks weird as hell in both robot mode and “beast” mode, and im not into the whole flying snowboard thing...whats that abt
when dinobot rode around on rattrap vjhsdlfjkashdbhfjk that was so fucking funnyyyy
i cant get over megatrons new form w/the Evil Rollerskates™ thats just. so much lmaooooo but also mood bc if i could i would totally have built-in rollerskates
did yall know i love tarantulas....that gay mad scientist bitch is hilarious
also i knew ahead of time that silverbolt and blackarachnia have a Thing but it was still soooo Much when they fought and then silverbolt refused to hit her bc shes a girl bsvdkjnfasndf
ruth: OH MY GOD HES A SIMP
ok and the ep where dinobot goes back to the predacons...bro...and everything w/the golden disk too?? that was wild
ALSO I CANT BELIEVE AIRAZOR AND TIGATRON GOT FUCKING KIDNAPPED??? HELLO????
are they like. coming back? ever????? that was just It for them this season uhhhh so i guess we’ll have to hope they return in s3? omg
also quick shoutout to the infamous japanese dub of beast wars which accidentally made some canon gays by making airazor a dude. great job guys
ohhhh my god when theres that alien ship thing and megatron is in it and then a big version of his face appears on the side of the ship? horrible
also i feel like beast wars megatron spends half his screentime sitting in various chairs...even when he went into that alien ship he ended up finding a big fancy chair to sit in
so yeah all that alien stuff was WILD. we still know so little abt them so im rlly interested to see if more will come up in s3 (im assuming at least a little since airazor and tigatron have to come back). like, are we gonna learn what theyre trying to do on earth? what they look like? etc?
ok silverbolt is always talking abt how blackarachnia is a good maximal on the inside and she just needs to embrace it etcetc, to me it feels like he’s a religious guy whos trying to get the girl he likes to accept jesus into her heart so they can be together hbvhajkdhbfhjksd sorry
also silverbolt is hilarious. he’s like, a hammy simp. the way he talks is rlly entertaining lol
also theyve been namedropped a couple times so far, but what the heck is up w/the maximal council or whatever? they seem to be the ones in charge of the maximals (and presumably cybertron?), but we know literally nothing abt them...im curious
ooomg and rampage...everything w/rampage was sooo fucked like him being basically immortal is wild, and then he showed up and was tearing shit up all over the place, and then megatron fucking...removed his spark and was like You Work For Me Now. daymmmm that was so fucked up
and he seemed to calm down after the first ep so i was like mannn i wish they would address the whole thing where megatrons controlling him - tho the maximals dont even seem to know abt it, they probably just think rampage joined them on his own. oof
and lbr even if they did know, they probably wouldnt be super motivated to free him since rampage attacked them previously, and likely wouldnt join the maximals even if given the choice
oh my god okay hold up i cant forget that DINOBOT FUCKING DIED i cant fucking believe it mate. GOD
i miss that gay moron 😔
also aside but the pre-human monkey people look soooo fucking janky hbvajkdhfjkhsdf god. so bad im sorry
oh my god and the whole thing w/the golden disc saying ‘sounds of earth...’ ruth and i saw that inscription earlier in s2 and ruth was like ‘oh isnt that a real thing, they sent out the Voyager probe into space w/a disc that has different sounds from nature and music and stuff on it called ‘sounds of earth” AND THEN THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT THIS WAS...
i thought that was so cool, the fact that the golden disc could basically be used to look into the future...and then alter the future accordingly
its also super cool that the writers used something from REAL LIFE in the story in such a way. like, thats cool as hell, and idk much media that does so
especially bc beast wars is one of very few transformers series to not include any human characters (discounting the monkey pre-humans), so this is a really cool way to involve humanity without having any recurring human cast members
when dinobot nearly committed seppuku...uhm jesus bro
and then when he fought off all the predacons ALONE, and then FUCKING DIED...that was legit sad as hell...like he kept almost going into stasis lock but kept overriding it which was gonna kill him and AUGH
and then when the maximals show up as he’s dying...mannnn
and his last words - “and the rest is silence.” poetic and quoting Shakespeare until the literal end I see
basically that episode was fucking brutal but also really good. phew
AND THEN ITS FOLLOWED UP BY THE TRANSMUTATE EPISODE...ruth and i watched these two eps back to back in one night and afterwards we were basically braindead. that was A Lot
the transmutate ep HHHHH where to even start
ok so transmutate...the whole story was just fucking tragic but also. TERRIFYING...
like this ep gave me the same vibes that i got when i watched the movie ET in like 4th grade and got scared as hell
like, i am a Full Grown Adult and NOT ONLY THAT i had a job in a cadaver lab for like 5 YEARS so i generally am not easily scared but holy SHIT this episode legit unsettled me liiiike
the design and animation (and voice acting) on transmutate were like....terrifying oh my god. like, the way she(?) moved was so scary, with the slow movements and just, everything w/the neck/head....AUGH
and that like, pained screech she did ???? that was just horrible oh my god
anyways literally ruth and i spent this entire ep just like, cowering and yelling out of fear lmao. i went outside in the dark later and i swear i saw transmutate in the shadows. terrifying
in terms of the plot of the ep, that shit was fucked up. it basically amounted to silverbolt and rampage fighting over transmutate w/little regard for transmutate as a person, and ending w/her dying. which was fucked btw
and the fact that everyone was like ‘oh yea transmutate basically doesnt count as an alive sentient being’ was messed up bc they came to that conclusion very quickly and with only a small amount of data....messed up. also messed up is how the maximals suggested putting transmutate in like, a medically induced coma basically, bc she was a freak of nature. which may be true but STILL, that probably violates some ethical laws. arent yall supposed to be the good guys?!
also rampage trying to befriend and save transmutate was sad...especially knowing his circumstances w/megatron and stuff. just Ls all around
ok this cuts off abruptly but thats all folks ig vbajdkfbjksdf
#I FOUND THSI IS MY DRAFTS LOL this is so old and also incomplete but whatever archiving !!#lj and ruth watch beast wars
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2022 Book Superlatives
What books did I love? Did I hate? Surprised me the most? Who knows! Who cares! But let's talk about it.
Funniest
Enter the Aardvark, Jessica Anthony
Last book of the year, and a great one to go out on. This was a cutting satire of American politics and conservatism with a surprisingly sweet gay through line. Not for everyone, but it was for me.
Saddest
The Seas, Samantha Hunt
This was a brutal exploration of small town ennui, alcoholism, mental health disorders, and an overall depressing ass story. It was very good, but shit was it just a bit too real. Some books are sad because sad shit happens, but some are sad because they show a depressing reality that you remain unaware of. That's what this one is.
Best Cover
Infinite Ground, Martin MacInnes
Now hear me out. I really love this cover, especially on the physical copy that I have which is matte gray with gold foil. It's very understated, but elegant in its design. It's quite representative of the content of the book which is a strange mix of heavily corporate and wilderness fever dream. Great book, but it's uniquely suited for my taste, I don't actually think many people would like this book unless you're very comfortable with New Weird. There were some strong contenders for this category this year, namely the pink cover for A Single Man, the original cover for The Atlas Six, the paperback cover for The Wall, and the cover for The Seas.
Smartest
Echopraxia, Peter Watts
What I mean by 'smartest' is the book that went over my head the most. And that's undoubtedly Echopraxia. Peter Watts well known for his extremely hard sci-fi books, and while I love them, it's really hard to follow what's going on most of the time. There's a healthy mix of real physics, made up physics, and philosophy that make the backbone of this book. All of his books require a read of 3-4 summaries to make sure you understood exactly what happened.
Best Sequel
Jade War, Fonda Lee
No surprise here. This was a masterpiece that I ended up preferring to the first book in the series, which is rare for a middle book in a trilogy. Fantastic characters, gripping story, great commentary, and filled with nail-biting moments! Both dreading and excited to pick up the last one.
Most Misleading
Migrations, Charlotte McConaghy
Maybe this is on me for not paying attention, but based on the back of the book summary and many of the reviews I saw about this, I was expecting a story about a bird scientist following the last migration of the soon-to-be extinct Arctic Terns as it grapples with existentialism, man's impact on nature, and one's place in a dying world. And that was certainly a part of the book, but this was mainly about a weirdly unhinged convict (not a scientist) woman, making horrible decisions, having meltdowns, and ruminating on her mess of a life while she happens to try to follow the migration of these birds. I was hoping for a bit more social commentary and a bit less drama.
Most Surprising (in a good way)
Nothing to See Here, Kevin Wilson
This was a random book we picked for our little book club (shoutout to @shaneothin and @humdrumhootenanny), and I was pleasantly surprised about how much I ended up loving it. Endearing, funny, and accessible, I loved this silly concept and its endearing execution.
Most Disappointing
Under The Whispering Door, TJ Klune
I liked House in the Cerulean Sea, I thought it was sickly sweet, which is why I thought I'd enjoy this one. Would I read Cerulean Sea again? No probably not. But that's what I felt like this book was. Just Cerulean Sea 2. It was predictable, not particularly well paced, and the characters were flat and unimaginative. Big disappointment, but that's okay because TJ Klune has probably the strangest writing history of most authors. Will we get YA superheroes, gay werewolf smut, or cutesy queer stories next? Who knows!
Worst
The Silence, Don DeLillo
Oh my god was this complete garbage. I was honestly between this and The Dragon Republic, but for that book, I could look at the story and see concrete ways it could be improved. The execution was just so bad. But for this... there was nothing. Absolutely nothing that could have been done to make this good. It was pretentious trash, had nothing of substance to say, but so desperately tried to say something. Embarrassing coming from the author of White Noise.
Best
The Freeze-Frame Revolution, Peter Watts
This was so fucking good. That's really all that can be said, it was just so good. Unlike Echopraxia and Blindsight, this was far more accessible, while also being solidly "hard" sci-fi. I loved the concept of the story, I loved the execution, I loved the characters, I loved the action/horror/thriller moments wrapped up within a short 190 pages. I even love how both the cover and the title perfectly summarize the plot of the book. Can't recommend it enough.
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🌻
currently i am visiting the muppet wiki page abt bunsen and beakers relationship because i think it’s very funny that that page exists . it’s got a whole list of like. arguably romantic moments between bunsen & beaker & my favorite is at a live show beaker gave a safety demonstration & bunsen kissed him on the cheek for helping out. shoutout to the gay scientist muppets!
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Avarel’s Bridge Crew
or: How Many People Can This Traumatized Panther Have A Homoerotic Thing (TM) With At Once? The Answer May Surprise You!
First Officer/Tactical: Vatrora Doran
XO on the IKS Qutluch. Took the captain’s ferasan servant under her wing, disgusted by the captain’s tendency to abuse and humiliate her. In addition to helping her access scientific data and having her “assist” in sensor and data control, she began secretly training her in the use of a bat’leth.
Defeated in honor duel when the captain was revealed as a traitor; would have died from her wounds if Avarel had not stepped in, finished the duel, and stabilized her.
There were a lot of charged moments and held gazes during this time period of intense emotional intimacy.
The undying loyalty and steady support she’s shown since have not decreased this.
Vatrora has, multiple times, found herself in a position where she should call Avarel ‘little sister’. It would give them a clear framework for their relationship free of uncomfortable power dynamics. It would be the appropriate thing to do. It would be the honorable thing to do.
She’s never been able to say it.
Avarel wouldn’t dare make a move on her for fear of causing offense, or ruining their incredibly strong and complicated friendship. Vatrora would die rather than take advantage, and cannot imagine--given their positions when they met, and the place she knows she holds in Avarel’s mind as a savior even though in the end it was Avarel herself who won her freedom--that it would be possible to make ANY advances without taking advantage.
There’s a lot of unresolvable yearning going on here.
Chief Engineer: Ch’jex Doran
Vatrora’s younger brother.
After his sister purged the Qutluch’s officers and most abusive crew, she needed to replace them quickly in order to get the transfers confirmed. She knew he could be trusted to respect a young, quiet ferasan bondswoman unused to what it means to be a warrior, and his skills as an engineer were wasted in the civilian sector.
In a lot of ways he and Avarel would make a good match! They have a lot in common!
For example, they’re both gay.
CMO: Thraak
Gorn doctor who, due to most people’s reactions to the phrase “Gorn doctor” combined with the fact that he never wears a shirt and barely wears pants, was stuck working as a medic trying to reduce suffering in a Klingon prison.
Desperately happy to accept an old friend’s offer of honorable work he could actually be proud of.
Not remotely a romantic option he’s just a good guy who deserved a shoutout.
Science Officer: Otuned
Extremely handsome extremely butch Orion.
Avarel’s science buddy and Girl Best Friend TM.
Avarel’s former master didn’t even HAVE a Science officer, and Vatrora was always openly exasperated with this and quick to assure Avarel that even the traditionalists these days know better than to dismiss scientists so blatantly.
The only member of the original crew that Vatrora didn’t recruit herself.
Otuned was in bad with the Syndicate and was only saved from being in an even worse position because she’s a viciously competent hacker and the small-time gang lords on Qo’nos traded her services around for petty sabotage against one another.
While investigating House Torg, the Klingons went straight to interrogating barkeeps and other high-ranking contacts. Avarel alone ordered a drink, found a quiet-but-not-too-obviously-quiet corner, and talked to the servers. Otuned was an old friend of hers--they’d seen each other when the captain went drinking, which was frequently.
Despite the danger Otuned was more than willing to take a risk to ensure her old friend kept up her momentum as a freewoman and maintained her rank--it was a very precarious time for Avarel’s legal status. Her hacking work to get them past security and into secure data was impressive enough that Vatrora, recognizing Avarel’s inability to fully understand her own power in this situation, prompted her to make the offer.
The Syndicate are powerful--but a warrior of the Klingon Empire has the power to protect her own. They didn’t even need to fuck around with legal paperwork, just pulled Otuned out without asking permission.
Despite Vatrora’s gentle nudging, she and Avarel have never gone beyond a very comfortable friendship. Avarel has never thought of her that way (though she easily could) and Otuned just really isn’t interested in sleeping with her commanding officer.
Lokara
Newest member of the bridge crew and the least complicated Gay Little Thing dynamic.
She approached Avarel on purpose in a restaurant on Qo’nos--lounged on the bench across from her, asked for the honor of buying her a bloodwine, introduced herself frankly as being familiar with Avarel’s service and aware that she had just been commissioned for a larger ship and might be looking to expand her officer corps.
While she was perfectly respectful, it was honestly very unclear where the professional interest ended and the personal began, or vice versa.
It was honestly the first time Avarel could remember being approached, as an equal, for herself, in public. Lokara flirted a bit, but not so much as to be distasteful considering she was also asking for a job. They mostly traded war stories--Avarel’s arena fights and chance appearance at a duelling championship (the latter of which Lokara had seen footage of and could discuss in enthusiastic detail); Lokara’s skirmishes with Starfleet and her history against the Syndicate; Avarel’s presence in the fight against the Tal Shiar in the Brea system.
The thing that most struck Avarel was that, despite clearly having done her research, Lokara didn’t once mention her past or how she’d first gained command of a ship except in passing.
It only came up when Avarel herself asked why Lokara, who clearly already had a history of service on cruisers and battleships and presumably other captains she could approach who actually knew her, wanted to transfer to a bird-of-prey.
Lokara, growing serious and intent for the first time, said she didn’t want to transfer to a bird-of-prey. She wanted to transfer to the Qatlhma. Because, she explained--Avarel is the kind of commander she wants to follow. Someone who chooses enemies bigger than her, stronger than her, not without fear but without cowardice. Who won’t perpetuate injustice, and won’t sneer at someone for having a different kind of strength than her own.
There are too many bullies in the KDF. I’m tired of watching myself turn into one.
I don’t know where the hell that dynamic is going but it is JUICY.
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Hearts Made Monochrome | Part 1: Trapped Inside
This story is also on AO3
Words: 6956
Pairings: Ingo & Emmet (familial/platonic), No romantic pairings
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst With a Happy(?) Ending, Pokemon/Kingdom Hearts Crossover AU (More Pokemon than Kingdom Hearts. That is to say, Pokemon characters in a Kingdom Hearts or adjacent universe. You shouldn't have to know anything about Kingdom Hearts nor its lore to understand what's happening here.)
Warnings: Human experimentation, suffocation, child abuse/neglect, dehumanization, cannibalism if you squint
Probably don’t read if you can’t stand bad things happening to kids.
Summary: He lost his Heart. He was just a kid when he was taken, experimented on, and turned into a Heartless, all against his will. But from his body, a Nobody was created.
Part 2
Note: It/its will be used interchangeably with other pronouns throughout this story, primarily for the sake of clarity and variety. (The Gay Smut Pronoun Conundrum and all that, you know. When everyone is ‘he’ things can become a clusterfuck fast!) This is Pokemon so I am using it/its pronouns affectionately. However the characters within the story do not necessarily share the same sentiment.
Also huge shoutout to @penquinlori for beta reading this fic! We also basically made this AU together, so their help has been genuinely invaluable to me! Go check them out!
-
Dark smoke entered the small chamber from the vent above. It burned his lungs. He felt like he was choking. While he inhaled air, when he tried to exhale, his lungs could only emit a bubbling sound. It felt like he was drowning. He coughed and a viscous, inklike fluid left his mouth. His tears were thick and leaked from his eyes in a slow, painful drip that smeared his vision in blacks.
He was never given much relief, even when the gas stopped being pumped into the small, glass room. He would collapse onto the floor, trying his hardest to catch his breath. He spat the black gunk that filled his lungs back out as best as he could before rising to his feet once more to pound on the thin glass separating him from the one responsible for this. The boy knew that the man on the other side of the glass could hear him. He could always vaguely hear what that scientist was mumbling to himself between each round of experiments. Though no matter how much he kept desperately slamming a fist against the glass, screaming and crying, the man never reacted.
“Patient is still refusing to accept treatment. Dosage has been increased again. It must be noted that no one has been subjected to this much of the chemical agent during a single session in these experiments prior to this point. if these trials yield results and the patient survives, this process should create the strongest specimen on record.” The man scribbled something onto a pad of paper as he spoke into an audio recorder. Once he had finished writing down his observations, he turned towards the boy in the glass chamber with an apathetic expression on his face. “New dosage being applied… Now.”
They were words that the boy dreaded, but ones that had become familiar to him. He tried to brace himself for what he knew was coming next, but it was never enough. It didn’t lessen how much the coming experiment would hurt. Why did he keep fighting against it anyway? It wasn’t as if surviving this next round of experiments would set him free, and it wasn’t as if anyone was coming to save him. He was well and truly alone.
-
The boy was never given much time to rest before the next experiment would begin and his chamber would once again be filled with that suffocating smoke. With every new round, he could see how the gas was thickening, and knew that he was being exposed to it for a longer duration.
In spite of how much he fought- and he had been fighting for far longer than the scientist could have ever anticipated- it was only a matter of time before he would succumb.
He was submerged, his head forced under sickly black waves as the last Light within his Heart was snuffed out. Fluid entered his lungs, but he found that he no longer had the need to breathe. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he found that he could no longer see. And yet he somehow felt alright with that. A current ran around him, smoothing out his edges and flaws like sand and water, wearing down a stone over the decades until he no longer had a body or shape to grasp any sense of self onto. He was surrounded by warmth and darkness, uncertain that anything else existed anymore for him. He found it oddly comforting.
“Experiment is a success. Heart has left the body and is being put into containment. Subject is unconscious. Subject will need to regain consciousness before further observations can be made. Opening chamber to remove the body.”
There was a hissing as the pressure on the locks keeping the door shut were released, the smoke escaping to the air as it opened.
“... Hell… Hello? Wh- who are you?
“... Interesting… Perhaps this should have been expected...” The scientist shook his head.
“Sir…? Where… Where am I?”
“With the creation of the patient- Ingo’s Heartless, it appears that a Nobody was created as well. Said Nobody has retained its human appearance.”
-
The first thing he could remember was waking up in a chamber, folded into some sort of fetal position on the floor. While there were black stains splattered underneath and around him, and his eyes were wet with tears, his chest felt fresh, empty, and new. He inhaled and exhaled the thick gas around him with ease, savoring the cool sensation of air in his lungs, filling the empty cavity inside of him before leaving once more.
Then the door opened and he was no longer alone.
-
“... Sir… Please don’t kick me out… I don’t know where to go… I don’t know where I am! … Please… I’m just a kid… I’m scared…”
The scientist let out an annoyed sigh. “You’re a Nobody. You’re not scared. You don’t have a Heart. You can’t feel emotions.”
“... I don’t…?” it blinked, eyes wide with confusion… Or was it interest…?
“You’ll find a way to survive. So just get out.”
“... I want to stay.”
“I don’t care. Get out.”
“I want to understand.”
“Not my problem. Get out.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“Don’t know. Leave.”
“Why did you make me?”
“I didn’t intend to make you. You are just a mistake. You aren’t really supposed to exist. Happy?”
“... What am I supposed to do now that I’m alive?”
The ‘kid’ felt a searing force across its face as it was knocked to the ground. It put a hand to its cheek where it had just been struck. It was the first time that it had ever experienced pain.
“I don’t want you. Do you understand? Do whatever you want. Just as long as it isn’t here, I don’t care. Now leave.”
It was the instinct to avoid that pain again that made the ‘boy’ run away.
-
Two glowing yellow orbs suddenly emerged from the shadows as he awoke. When he opened his eyes, the lights shining down onto his form hurt. He tried to move a hand to shield them from the glare, but found that he was completely paralyzed. He tried to shut his eyes to block out the light, but they were being held open against his will. Before he could think of something else to do about how the light burned and made his body ache, he could hear muffled voices from just beyond the glass wall ahead of him.
“Subject has finally awoken, but has not taken on any specific shape or form yet. If this is a previously undiscovered type of Heartless, it may take time before he settles and can create a new body for himself.”
When he saw the figure behind the glass, he pushed himself back into a corner and shivered. He was scared, but couldn’t look away, his wide, yellow eyes being held in place for reasons that he didn’t understand. He knew this person. He had seen them before. There was a memory of this man bubbling in the back of his mind, but his thoughts were all being smudged at the edges with charcoal. The more he tried to recall the memory, the thicker and grittier these black splotches became until they rubbed against his mind like sandpaper. He had to stop. He didn’t need to think about it anyway. He may not have known who this person was. But all's that he needed to know was that the man’s gaze scared him as it bore into him from behind the glass. Those eyes made him shiver as if he were cold. Everything felt so cold in the stark light that now shone down on him. And even as multiple pairs of eyes thoroughly studied him, he felt so very alone.
-
The ‘boy’ stared blankly at the hustle and bustle of activity happening all around him. He knew that it was late, but that was a concept that didn’t mean much to him. The world around him was dark, and yet the lights shining from posts and buildings all around him were just a little too bright and hurt his eyes. Things were moving, people were talking, buildings were emitting audio, and all of it was just a little too loud. He was only wearing a thin medical gown which did little to shield him from the chilling night air, leaving him to shiver from the cold. He had no shoes and so nothing was there to protect him as he accidentally stepped onto shards of a broken bottle that had been left abandoned in some alleyway that he had stumbled his way down. He had no idea where he was and nowhere to go. So he picked a direction and began walking, limping so as to not open the cuts in his foot any wider.
People seemed to dislike how he looked at them- watching the others go about their business as they passed by. Most quickened their pace, casting backward glances at him as they hurried off, while others simply glared at him. One or two had shouted at him to stop staring. He had a feeling that if he didn’t do as they asked, they would hurt him even more than he already was, and so did his best to avert his eyes and look in some other direction whenever he heard people starting to yell.
He had been looking at the ground when someone stepped in front of him, making him stop in his tracks. “Pardon me, kid. But are you lost?”
The ‘kid’ blankly looked up at a woman in uniform. A police officer. The lady had a look on her face that he figured was something like sympathy.
“... Yes,” he answered plainly, which seemed to take the officer by surprise.
“Do you know where you’re supposed to be right now?” she asked, tilting her head in obvious curiosity.
“... No.” Once again that seemed to give the officer pause.
“Well then... Can you tell me where your home is?”
“... No.” The officer was lowering herself down to a crouch, trying to speak on a level field with the kid. But with each question, her face seemed to grow more and more troubled.
“Can you tell me who your parents are?”
“... No.” By now the officer was down on one knee looking the ‘boy’ directly in the eye.
“... Can you at least tell me your name…?”
“... No…”
It was at this point that the officer placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. A motion meant to reassure him, the ‘kid’ was certain. Not that he was capable of feeling particularly scared or nervous in the first place.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just trying to be your friend. Is there any reason you can’t tell me any of this?”
“... Yes.” At this point, the ‘boy’ felt that he should look down and away from the officer, though had no idea what this action was supposed to mean or portray.
“... Well…?” The officer’s tone had a tinge of impatience to it.
The ‘boy’ hesitated in his answer. “... I do not have a name… I do not know who my parents are, or even if I have any… I do not know where my home would be…” He didn’t even know what his home would be.
There was a deafening silence between the two before…
“Oh…” the officer had a befuddled look on her face.
“... I am a Nobody.”
“Now you don’t need to say that about yourself. You’re not no one. Now why don’t you follow me down to the station so that we can go and get you back where you belong.”
“... Okay.”
“Alright… Good!” The officer let out a heavy breath as she got back up to her feet.
The Nobody took the officer’s hand as it was offered to him without resistance as she started to lead him away.
“And you don’t need to look so dour all the time! Don’t worry. We’re going to sort all of this out. So why don’t you give me a smile?”
The ‘boy’ could register that the police officer was trying to cheer him up, but he could not make himself feel the emotion that she was trying to elicit from him. But instead of trying to contradict her, the Nobody tried his best to imitate the woman’s expression.
“Good. Now isn’t that better?” she asked, shooting a smile of her own back at him.
The ‘boy’s’ smile was forced. Artificial, and it didn’t reach his eyes. But if it satisfied the police officer, it was good enough for him.
-
The not-’boy’ was crying as it stared at the bright lights shining down on it. But even if anyone looked at it right now, it doubted that anyone would have even been able to notice its tears. It knew that something had changed, and whatever it was, it certainly didn’t think that it was human anymore.
The Heartless constantly felt like it was treading water. That it was only ever able to keep its face above the surface just high enough to be able to breathe, but nothing more. It felt as if even the smallest waves or rise in tide could drown it in an instant and at any time if it wasn’t careful. Even then, it had to constantly spit a black liquid from its mouth to keep its airways clear. That was all it felt as it stared at the lights above. It just focused on the feeling of trying not to drown in whatever was inside of it that threatened to submerge and consume it whole, unable to even blink as it let its mind passively wander wherever it wished.
They always seemed to fade away the moment it tried to focus on them, but the not-’boy’ knew that it had memories of its life before all of this- from when it was still human. And as it absently stared into the light, the memories were able to manifest into something tangible and that it could hold onto. Even if only briefly, they kept it company as they passed through its mind. It was the only thing keeping the loneliness at bay as it sat and waited for… Something to happen. It wasn’t sure what.
Lights were flashing as it watched the gathered crowd. The boy wasn’t allowed to get close and had to stand around the borders as people ahead of it gossiped amongst one another using words like, “It’s such a shame.” And, “No one could have seen it coming.” They didn’t know what they were talking about. It remembered that tears were streaming down its face as the hand holding its own squeezed just a little tighter. The man holding its hand was large and when he kneeled to talk to it, it buried its face deep into the man’s chest as it sobbed, lost, not knowing what to do anymore. Not that it had any idea what it had lost anymore anyway. It just knew that it was alone. The man had let it wear his hat as they moved between train cars that it observed with rapt fascination. The hat was much too large and heavy for it, always sliding down to cover its eyes. And now the two were staring out at the countryside as it passed the train they were riding by, but memory became too bright and blurry before it could remember what happened next.
There was a girl. She was dressed in warm yellows as she laughed at it. It had the feeling that she had always liked getting the boy into trouble. She was pulling it towards the creek before telling it in a hushed tone to be quiet and to duck behind a fallen log among the tall grass. She pointed to the water’s edge where it saw a malformed creature of some kind. It wasn’t certain if the creature was actually malformed or if the memory had just been warped somehow. But either way, it found the creature fascinating. She ran towards the creek and it had held a hand out to try and grab her, but then the memory faded away into dust just as it tried to wrap its fingers around her wrist. It would have liked to see her again, it thought. But it didn’t see how that would be possible anymore. Something deep inside of it knew that it didn’t look human anymore. Its new body would probably just scare her away.
It remembered looking up at a man. This man- this guardian was much different from the one that it had been remembering before. While the previous one was portly and always seemed to know what to say to put its mind at ease, this new figure had always struggled trying to talk to it. He was tall and muscular and somehow looked and felt very familiar to the boy. More so than the man from before at least. The sound of a dragon’s roar came to its mind upon thinking of him. There was an overwhelming sense of admiration filling its heart as it looked up into his eyes. He was holding something out to it. Something about the object felt familiar, though it had difficulty figuring out what. What was the object anyway? All features were alluding it. Was it a stick? No… Maybe something more like a sword? Closer, but that wasn’t it either… As it touched the object, it felt an electric tingle of power begin to course through both the object and its own body. The guardian had said something. Something important. But the words were muffled and its mind slid off of them the more it tried to focus on them. It just knew that whoever this person was- whoever these people were, it missed them dearly. The not-‘boy’ wanted nothing more than to see them again. It didn’t want to be alone anymore, but knew that was impossible. Even if it could escape, the Heartless knew that no one would be able to recognize it anymore, it had changed so much in body, mind, and soul. It couldn’t even remember its own face… Did it even have a face anymore? The not-‘boy’ wasn’t certain…
“Subject has yet to take a physical form. He is to be put into pasture with the rest of the subjects. Exposure to other Heartless may cause a reaction.”
Upon hearing the muffled voice again, its eyes turned to the window and it remembered why it was supposed to be so scared and lonely in the first place.
From the corner of its vision, it noticed that a section of the wall had opened. But as the not-‘boy’ tried to move closer to it, just to get a better look, it stumbled and toppled onto itself, leaving it dizzy and unable to move any further.
“It appears that the subject still hasn’t gotten used to his new body yet. Motor functions are limited. Subject will have to be placed into pasture manually.”
A gas was released into the air and it felt a great sense of relief as it could slowly feel its eyes closing. Finally. Darkness again at last. Maybe these gasses weren’t so bad after all.
-
As he sat in the police station, he thought about how peculiar it was. The ‘boy’ had no memories from before waking up in that glass chamber filled with thick purple gas. And yet he had still known what a police officer was. He may have no memories, but it seemed that this body of his still contained a lot of knowledge. Knowledge that even he wasn’t aware of right now.
The officer had left him at the bench as she went to talk to the others about what should be done with the boy with no name, no home, no parents, who seemed to have come from nowhere. Since then, he had been silently waiting as the officers made calls and filled out paperwork as they tried to figure out their next course of action.
“Come with us.”
When he looked up to see who had spoken, he was surprised by what he saw. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t human. And it wasn’t like those shapeless black blobs that he had caught a glimpse of as he left the laboratory either.
“Who are you?”
There was an unnaturally lanky figure swaying before him. Its motions almost resembled dancing. Its skin was paper white. It had no eyes, but did have a long, stretched out mouth that bore a row of pointed teeth.
“We are like you. Your brothers and sisters. We too are Nobodies.”
“... Nobodies…?” As he asked the question, two more of these creatures appeared at the first one’s sides.
“We will take care of you. We wish to serve you.”
“You can be our Master.”
As the two new creatures spoke, their mouths didn’t move and yet he perfectly heard and understood them.
“Your Master…?”
“Yes. You were just born so you have no idea just how powerful you are yet.”
“Come with us and we can teach you.”
“It won’t take long for the humans to learn what you are. And when that happens, they will try to destroy you. We will protect you.”
He thought back to how the scientist had struck him, the man’s words echoing in the ‘boy’s’ mind. “... You weren’t supposed to exist either…?”
The three vaguely humanoid shapes sunk in their postures to match the child’s height. “Yes. We understand the hate that these humans would subject you to if given the chance. So come with us and we’ll protect you.”
“... Okay.”
When the boy stood, the police officer finally looked up from her paperwork.
“Kid, what are you… What the hell is that!?”
The mood of the room shifted in an instant as the officer unholstered her gun and started open firing upon the nearest Nobody. The bullets seemed to harmlessly pass through the creature’s body as the two Nobodies closest to her came forwards to confront the officer. The third led the boy away.
Just as they left the station, the ‘boy’ could hear what the officer was shouting into her radio.
“Mayday! We need backup! We need a Keyblade Master here STAT! Nobodies have shown up at our location- three Dusks, and their leader looks like a child. White hair, gray eyes, between the ages of 6 and 8. We need backup! Repeat, we-”
As the door shut behind them, the boy didn’t realize that he still had an empty smile on his face.
-
He opened his eyes to see several other pairs of glowing yellow orbs staring back at him. Startled, he backed himself into a corner where no one could sneak up behind him and examined the new room he found himself in. Stark lights still shined down on him, chilling him to the bone and making his body ache. But at least he wasn’t alone anymore. The room had several creatures in it. The swarm closest to the not-‘boy’ looked very similar to him- black shadows that melted into the ground that were not quite defined in their shapes yet. A few of these amorphous creatures had risen from the floor, taking on the shape of some kind of silhouette; round features that made a vaguely humanoid form with spindly limbs. Though in actuality perhaps they looked more like humanoid bugs than any actual person. These figures seemed to be examining him in curiosity, but when one reached a limb out to touch him, he shied away, shrinking into himself. It seemed that the creatures sensed his fear, the closest one withdrawing its clawed hand as the other not quite formed yet shadows backed away from him.
As the others gave him his space, he began to relax, letting himself occupy more of the floorspace instead of pressing himself into the corner.
His eyes wandered beyond the shadows that were scurrying around him to the other figures in the room. There were creatures, diverse in their shapes and sizes ambling around the cell, passively observing him. Some were wearing what appeared to be some kind of armor, meanwhile others were stout and seemed to be wrapped in some kind of brightly colored cloak as they floated in the air above him. Towards the far side of the room there were a handful of large, intimidating figures that could only be described as monsters. Hulking creatures slumped over in animalistic poses, looking ready to pounce. Creatures with wings and claws and tails. Creatures wearing strange outfits, but taking shapes that were mere mockeries of the human form.
The not-’boy’ and one of these creatures happened to meet eyes as he examined the room around him, and to his surprise, the creature slumped to the floor in a bow. He couldn’t help but to stare in confusion as the other creatures in the room began to follow suit and lower their heads, bowing to him. While he could understand the gesture, even from the creatures writhing in two dimensions on the floor, he didn’t understand what it meant and refused to move from his corner.
When the creatures rose once more, the shadows around him made chittering sounds to one another. He was surprised to find that he somehow understood them. They said something about feeding. Something about feeding and growing strong. However he was still afraid and trembling, unable to focus enough to truly comprehend what they were discussing.
He didn’t understand what was happening as the vaguely humanoid bugs sank back down into shadow and pieces of their collected mass started to break off and stream towards him. He tried to back away from it, but when one of these black flakes touched the shapeless pool of darkness that was his body, something about it felt… Good.
It felt like something within him was being filled- a hunger satiated as these flecks of shadow streamed into him. He could feel himself growing stronger, rising up from the ground.
For just a minute, he felt himself dip below the waves, some sort of dark power flowing through him. He was beginning to emerge.
An arm formed, ending in a clawed hand, digging into the floor as he tried to find enough purchase to pull himself from the formless shadows and into the light. There was a want inside of him. A hunger. In that moment he wanted to reach out and devour the Shadows around him whole. He knew that he could.
And then he resurfaced.
He looked down at the hand he had formed and the hulking body of his that was trying to bring itself into reality. It made him panic. A sound that was entirely inhuman escaped him as he collapsed back into formless shadow. He sank into the floor, pressed into his corner, now trembling and crying harder than ever before. His unblinking eyes made him watch as the creatures turned to one another, chattering.
“Not ready.”
“Not ready yet.”
“Not ready.”
“Not mature enough.”
“Not ready.”
They backed away from him, giving him his space before beginning to amble around the room with seemingly no purpose.
-
“How did you get back in here? I thought that I told you to go away.” The scientist was taken aback when he saw the Nobody again.
“... I’ve been talking to the Nobodies. They’ve been helping me. Taking care of me... Explaining things to me.”
“Ah.” The scientist had been surprised to see that the Nobody was wearing new clothes. That must have been how it had gotten its hands on them and why it didn’t look as filthy as the man would have expected from a homeless street urchin like it. “So you found more of your kind. Alright. But that doesn’t answer my question. Why are you here?” It had been days since the ‘boy’ had been chased from the lab. And now it was back.
“... I want to know more about myself…”
“And what? The Nobodies can’t do that?”
The boy turned to the window, staring at the creatures milling around the room, placing a hand on the glass.
“... How could they?”
The scientist looked down at the small Nobody, his eyes narrowing in thought, but he didn’t say anything.
“... I don’t have any memories,” the boy admitted. “... They said that I’m supposed to have memories. But I don’t… I want to know…”
“You want to know more about your Heartless.”
He nodded before turning to look at the scientist. “I can be useful to you.”
Now that caught the scientist’s attention. “Oh?”
“You and everyone else in this lab are all fully human- you all have Hearts, right? So it must get dangerous dealing with them.” He motioned to the Heartless in captivity.
“Yes, that would be correct.”
“You were right. I am a Nobody. I don’t have a Heart. They wouldn’t be interested in me. They aren’t able to hurt me like they can hurt you. I’ll do anything you ask. I just want to be able to speak to him.”
“And you expect me to take care of you?”
The Nobody shook his head. “… The others… They call themselves my brothers and sisters… But they also call me their Master… They’ve already taken care of that.”
There was a stretch of silence as the scientist considered it. In the meantime, the ‘boy’ watched the black creatures, examining each one individually and with care, trying to get a read on each type of Heartless currently being held there.
“Which one is mine?” the Nobody asked, breaking the silence.
The scientist scanned the room before pointing off in a direction. “That one in the corner.”
“The scared little one?” He could tell that it was watching them through the glass with unblinking eyes.
“That would be the one.”
“... You don’t sound very happy about that.”
“I’m not.” The scientist scowled. “He has yet to fully create a physical form for himself. There have been a few promising partial manifestations, but not enough to tell what kind of Heartless he is. It seems that he’s barely even able to move, much less take on a solid form.”
“... Can I talk to him? Maybe I can make him do… Something.”
The scientist let out a sigh, considering it for a minute. “Fine. But make it quick.”
-
It was hard to make out the people on the other side of the glass, the glare was so bright. But he could always recognize the form of the scientist. He would try to make out the details of the other people that would sometimes accompany the scientist as he watched the Heartless through the glass, but they never stuck. But today he could tell that someone new was watching him. Whoever they were, they were so much shorter than anyone else he had seen accompanying the scientist before. And when their eyes met, he found that he had a hard time looking away.
There was a hissing as the door opened, and he could immediately tell why the new person on the other side of the glass was so short. It was a kid, just like him just like what he no longer was. He watched the boy enter. The other Heartless in the room seemed to part as their new guest passed between them, heading towards the puddle of shadow pressed into the corner.
As the boy stood before him, the shadow tried to push himself further into the corner, but it was to no avail. He tried to climb up the wall, anything to escape the new arrival, but he just fell over himself instead. He was expecting the worst, for this kid to hurt him, but to his surprise, the youth just sat down in front of him on his knees.
The two studied one another for a long moment. Now that he was actually looking at the kid this closely, somehow something about the boy felt familiar. He had the feeling that he had seen this child before.
“Are you Ingo?” the boy asked after letting the shadow calm down.
The creature hiding in the shadows stared at the youngster for a long moment in silence before trying to move. “In… Go…” The sounds came out as a gurgle as he tried to form a mouth for himself. “Ingo.” He managed to create a hole from which he could emit sounds, but it was filled with a black sludge that dripped back into his shadowy form on the ground the moment he opened it. The ooze threatened to seal the hole shut again if he didn’t continue using it. “Ingo… Am… Ingo…” The beginnings of the top of a head began to pop out of the shadows, eyes still transfixed on the boy. The small mound began to bob up and down in a movement that the urchin assumed was supposed to be a nod.
The two could hear a Shadow approach, chittering to the youth. The kid was surprised to find that it understood the Heartless.
The boy nodded. “... I see… So that’s why you haven’t taken on a physical form yet…” it mumbled more to itself than any of the Heartless observing their new guest.
“You… Me…” The Heartless- Ingo started speaking without prompting, taking the boy by surprise.
“What was that?”
“Look… Like… Me…” He had realized what it was about the boy that made it feel so familiar. As he inched closer to it, some sort of form began to rise from the shadows, climbing onto the youth.
The kid found that the creature manifesting himself into a physical form around it was something like a liquid or a gas. Or maybe both at once. There was a weight and mass there, but if it so wished, it could pass a hand through the Heartless’s body without much resistance. But it was becoming more and more solid and tangible by the minute.
The youngster didn’t know what the Heartless’ intentions were or why he was building his physical form on top of it, even as the smoke wrapped itself around its neck. But his intentions soon became clear as the limb became solid and tightened.
The boy let out a small strangled sound as those unblinking eyes bore into it still. The boy was still smiling that icy cold smile even as the Heartless tried to strangle the life from it.
He found it terrifying. This boy… This thing was wearing his old face. It felt like some kind of mockery. And why did it smile like that? Even now it was smiling. And the way its teeth flashed in the light felt nothing less than predatory.
The ‘boy’ wasn’t fighting back. And soon it was leaning into the Heartless’ hold. Ingo braced himself. This thing had to have something planned. It was up to something. It had to be. He felt the ‘boy’s’ hands reach down, grabbing at shadow that was still caught between being corporeal and incorporeal before pulling it up and closer to it. His form had largely been pulled from the shadows, now being held in a tight embrace. The boy was holding the semi-formed shadow in a hug.
When he realized what was happening, Ingo loosened his grip around the boy’s neck as the shapeless limb turned into arms, desperate to hold the boy in return. The kid didn’t let go even as it sputtered and coughed to get the air back into its lungs to breathe again.
He was crying. Ingo was crying as he leaned into the warmth of the boy’s being, gripping its back. Legs were forming underneath him, his body finally taking on a physical, if smoky form that vaguely matched the proportions of the boy that was holding him.
“I’m going to get you out of here. We will beat him. We will win this. Together.” Ingo was confused by what it had whispered to him. What was it that they were going to win?
Ingo desperately didn’t want to let go as the urchin pulled away from him. At least it let their arms remain interlocked.
“You are going to be okay. You used to be me. I can’t remember it, but I know that you used to treat me well. Now it’s my turn. I’m going to take care of you. We are going to be okay.” The boy said it with unflinching certainty in its eyes.
“Alright, that’s quite enough. Get back here.” The two looked up as they heard the scientist’s voice over the intercom.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.” The boy was staring at the ground as it let go of its Heartless and stood. Ingo tried to stand as well, but instead fell over in a puff of smoke, sinking back into the floor where he once again became a formless puddle of shadows. “But I will be back. I promise. I am Emmet. I will see you again soon.”
“Em… Met…?”
-
“How did you do that?”
“... What do you mean?”
“How were you able to get him to create a physical form for himself?”
“... You don’t know…?” The ‘boy’ tilted his head.
“If I did, I would have done it already so that I can continue my research.”
The ‘boy’ blinked. “... We’re still kids.” He looked back at Ingo through the glass. While he was still a shapeless shadow on the ground, he was no longer huddled in the corner, shivering and afraid. “... He’s not mindless. He was just scared. He’s not strong enough to take on a consistent form right now. We’re just not mature enough yet. He hasn’t even decided what he’s going to be… But it helps if you give him a reason to want to create a body for himself that can actually interact with the world around him in the first place. Something to hold onto, in a sense. In this case literally. But how could he even think to take on a physical form when he felt so scared and alone in the first place? Maybe if you showed him that he didn’t have any reason to be afraid and that you weren’t going to hurt him, then he would have tried to take on a more permanent appearance for himself entirely on his own. Or at least when he did try to take on a more tangible form, it wouldn’t have scared him so much that he immediately shrinks back down to… Well… That.” The Nobody motioned to Ingo, who was still a shapeless figure on the floor, but who had formed a round blob of a head that poked up just enough to press his face flush against the glass at their feet. “But it never occurred to you to play nice, did it?”
“Tch. So now you’re wanting me to be nice to you?”
“... You don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t want to. I’m a Nobody. I’m built differently from him. But it will take practice before he’ll be able to move and take on a physical form for himself and at will.”
“And you want to help with that.”
“If you’ll let me.”
“... Fine. I’ll let you help with the research. You can come back tomorrow. But you have to do exactly as I say. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
-
“Master, there are bruises on your neck,” the Dusk observed, seemingly appearing from out of nowhere to stand at the boy’s side.
Emmet didn’t even slow his stride as he continued heading towards the abandoned storehouse the Nobodies had secured for him. Though he did touch his neck where he knew the bruises must have been. “Ingo did this. He was afraid and was acting out on instinct. It’ll clear up in time. There’s nothing to be done about it.”
“He hurt you and you still intend to help him?”
“Yes. He’s still on our side. A valuable ally. I want to win this battle. It will be a greater victory if we free him too.”
“I see… So other than him trying to kill you, how is your Heartless?”
“... It’s going to take some time before he’ll be ready. He seems to have a lot of difficulty even moving around. He can barely take on a physical form. I will try to teach him how to do both before we act.”
“And the human. He took the bait?”
“Yes. He agreed to let me ‘help’ him in his research.”
“Well, don’t get hurt any further, if it can be helped. The wound on your foot still hasn’t fully healed yet. You are still very young, Master, and are therefore very fragile.”
“... I will try.”
There was silence as Emmet continued walking, navigating this maze of a city as the lesser Nobody drifted along beside him.
But the silence didn’t last long before the Dusk once again broke it. “Master, there are stains on your shirt.”
“There are?” Emmet briefly looked down to see the black splotches that now stained the white fabric. After a moment of consideration, he recognized what they must have been. “... Ingo was crying… The clothes we get for him should be darker to make it easier to hide any stains like these.”
“We will need to find new clothes for you. We will keep that in mind.”
“You don’t have to replace these clothes for me. I’m fine with this.”
“Of course we have to, Master! We cannot let anyone think you are some ordinary street urchin. It is beneath you.”
But not inaccurate, Emmet thought to himself.
“Now let us clean your wound and change your bandages.”
#pokemon kingdom hearts au#submas fanfic#pokemon fanfiction#kingdom hearts au fanfic#submas au#kingdom hearts au#pokemon au#pokemon#kingdom hearts#submas#pokemon subway boss#subway masters#subway bosses#fanfic#fanfiction#ingo and emmet#emmet and ingo#subway twins#subway master#subway boss#heartless!ingo#nobody!emmet#hurt/comfort#angst with a happy ending#Human experimentation#suffocation#child abuse/neglect#dehumanization#cannibalism if you squint#pokemon black and white
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How about DocMartyn for the ask game?
What made you ship it?
honestly. mostly just fis au. shoutout to beans martynsimp69 of tumblr sexyman fame. made me insane abt that gay little merman and his gay little ethically conflicted scientist.
What are your favorite things about the ship?
canon docmartyn is just really funny to me. imagine some guy steals one singular diamond ore from you and then fucks off and you get so mad about it that you start having gay thoughts purely just from thinking about him too much. unmatched
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on the ship?
i dont know if its popular enough for there to be. popular opinions? and if there are i dont know what they are
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