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courtney-deserved-better · 3 years

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whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

#slippery slopes #ask #anon #total drama #writing #fic #my fic

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period-dramallama · 4 years

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Spanish Princess episode 7: the episode that had no right to be as good as it was

Come with meeeeeeeeee and you’ll beeeeeeeeeee in a wooooooooooooooooooorld of English Reformation~

-OK I had a lot of thoughts on how this ep handled Protestantism but the TLDR is: they misunderstood the theology of it, IMHO, but they actually were much more balanced than I was expecting.

-Maybe it’s my bias, but the printing press scenes were awesome.

-the word ‘Protestant’ is being used 30 years too soon- but I get why they’re using it.

-”You’re dead Sassenach” some people have pointed out the guy called that is a Scot but I think the boy’s just using it as an insult and they’re play-fighting so I think he’s pretending his opponent is English Scum just as Hal Stewart’s pretending to be killed

-Accuracy! Thomas More did indeed lead a raid on the Steelyard, IIRC, though again it’s prob happening too soon, and he’s not undersheriff any more. They continue to knit sweaters out of the thread of linear time

-”the answer does not lie in here but in there,” I was highkey worried Henry was going to point at his own testicles.

-Please get Henry a barber. He has superglued a party city wig to his own face.

-”we were going after deer!” he sounds so much like a spoiled child i have to laugh

-the way Georgie says NO i love the inflection so much, I should make it my text alert for my least favourite people.

-”She creates bad humour in our land” “You mean she’s rude about your poetry?” “SO RUDE *sobs*”

-Wolsey has a reputation for relative tolerance and inaction on heresy, but historians seem to be finding that he was more invested in punishing heresy than previous histories and depictions (eg Wolf Hall) have shown. (At least so far as it was his job to do). He’s still hella villainized in this show.

-Allying with Angus? Sounds like Bad Decision #785

-CGI London looks way too big for a city of ~70,000 people

-Lina, I love you, but it has never been safe for a woman to walk around London alone at night. Not in 2020, 1820, or 1520. Especially before the invention of street lamps.

You can tell this episode was written by men

-”an army is for valiant purpose” Oviedo I love you but you’re a soldier, you’ve seen wars fought for political gain and not for moral reasons. Why you only shocked now? You should be more concerned that you’re attacking civilians instead of fellow militarymen.

-”what are you doing in the church?” “bitch i live here”

-”where are your ladies?” good question

-”it’s her own soul she risks, not mine” when you’re so selfish you accidentally become the most religiously tolerant person in the room.

-Wolsey’s face was a joy this episode. I want to make a moodboard of his beautiful sassy faces.

-the way Wolsey said “Thomas...” at More and Maggie looked angry... I think she was thinking “Really? You’re going to steal MY man now?!”

-why’s Henry Pole guarding More?? He’s a baron?? He outranks More??

-”maybe even have some lemon cake” it’s official, Margaret Pole is Sansa Stark

-”bathe me better and I will relax” she is literally a toddler omg

-”I have bathed you for years, no lady could do better” you can say that again, any other lady would have dunked katherine’s head under the water by now

-”to love the king why do you have to hate so many others”

what happened?? the lines?? are so good?? i am SHOOKETH

-shot of the wavering compass...heavy-handed but i loved it

-Ursula geeking out over her garden :’) i get it girl i got into gardening myself this year.

-”my wife is the only sight I care for” *smooch* the second man in England to have rights! Thank god they’re so in love, given the real couple were married for 40 years. (They totally left the room to go make out, didn’t they.)

-Raiders of the Lost Inheritance Deeds

-WHERE ARE THE BOLEYN GIRLS?? THESE ARE STARTING TO BE THE YEARS THEY’RE AT COURT??

-God Stephenie was amazing this episode. I felt her pain, she became such a more well-rounded character, I’m so glad she got to speak her mind to Catherine instead of continuing to simp for her and excuse her behaviour. If she betrays her secret next episode, her character arc will be complete. Also, after whitewashing Isabella’s actions as Gurl Powah, it’s so refreshing to have Lina call out religious persecution of all flavours, not just against Lutherans.

-”my own husband?” Lina...did you just... tell Catherine your husband isn’t Christian? Run?

-My theory was correct! TSP!KOA is indeed trying to be her mother!

-”ugly altar boys” Aardvark is on FIRE this episode. Everyone is bringing their snark game.

-good use of spooky strings

-mention of humours! Accuracy point! Also I’m glad that Katherine hanging out in her nightdress with men was called out for being hella sus in the Tudor worldview.

-the whole torture dungeon reveal reminded me of a similar scene in the 1999 movie Sleepy Hollow, but apart from that, it was perfect. No dialogue, just the camera, the props and Laura, and you tell the whole story with her face. This is why show don’t tell is so important!

-yes i am biased bc i never liked the ship, but the break up scene was great, for both their characters: More’s allowed to explain his worldview and Maggie is able to call him out. Also it answered the question “why Thomas More and not some tutor OC?” I’m not sure the bombshell justifies writing their romance, but at least it explains its existence. At least it built to some Juicy Drama.

-poor Maggie though. The man she wants to sleep with won’t sleep with her, the man who wants to sleep with her she doesn’t want. Then she befriends both of them, only to lose their friendship when one dies of the plague and the other she wishes died of the plague because he’s terrible. Also her cousins keep being executed, her daughter’s terrified, and her son is way too fond of violence. Give the girl a hug.

-”watch your step” yeah we wouldn’t want you to get a splinter on your way to get your head lopped off. That would really suck.

-the way the crowd groaned when henry’s letter was read out... they sounded like football fans when their team misses a goal.

-”Henry” just henry? not henry the king? No “PS: I’m so random lol” “PS: blow a kiss to Wolsey” No “Henry ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh”

-the obligatory gross thing obvs is the sideways beheading. His head bounces!

TLDR: By far and away, the best ep in the show so far in my opinion. It almost feels like it’s set in the sixteenth century. The history was still dodgy af, and so was much of the dialogue, but the drama was much more solid and less plot-holey, the pacing was good, and the foolish mistakes of Stafford and Catherine had actual consequences for the plot, the actors knocked it out of the park, some of the lines were accidentally brilliant.

#the spanish princess

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majicmarker · 3 years

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so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

#i just love them whoops my hand slipped #the majnificent adventures #gus tag #@ melissa wtf is our tag we had like five #how do i not remember five things #anyway i got into my feelings tnt don’t @ me

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eremiie · 3 years

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okay and for the matchup!!! im gonna try and make this as descriptive as possible but if u want more info pls lmk :)) also it would be cool if it was a guy and it would be REALLY cool if it wasn’t zeke (him and i just don’t click idk i hope that doesn’t mess u up:()

for physical i use she/her pronouns, i’m a about 5’6 and a little on the thicker/curvier side! idk if this is tmi or not but i’m pretty hefty in terms of 🍒 but i got NOTHING for 🍑 :(( breaks my heart aNYWAY i have long light brown hair and my two front pieces are dyed blonde/silver ish, i have blue eyes and wear glasses!! in terms of makeup i tend to do more natural stuff like basic foundation and mascara and that stuff but that’s mostly bc i suck at everything else 😭

my zodiac sign is sagittarius (november sag if that helps) and i’m an enfp!! i tend to be a little shy when i first meet people but once i warm up it’s hard to make me shut up lmao i loooooooove meeting new people and getting to know them and ngl i do tend to over share a little bit so that can be a little overwhelming but i’m pretty good at reading ppl so i know when it’s too much you know ?? i also think i’m one of the funniest ppl i know LMAO i’m always laughing at my own jokes and i love to make other ppl laugh it makes me so happy!! in terms of my type of humor it’s pretty sarcastic but i will literally laugh at anything (except things that are messed up i’m not down for DARK humor). also i’m like hella nice tbh i’m probably overly nice to a lot of ppl BUT i also stand up for myself when need be and i’m not afraid to be honest and blunt!

as for bad personality traits i can definitely be a little jealous and i tend to overthink things a lot. i am NOT a morning person if i wake up any earlier before like 10am i’m usually pretty cranky for the rest of the day which is pretty annoying lmao. i’m pretty forgetful so if someone tells me to do something they usually have to do it a few more times before it hits me. also i’m the absolute worst at math and i was pretty careless in school :/ i didn’t like get into trouble or anything but i definitely slacked off in terms of grades and caring about things like that.

i’m p sure my love languages are quality time and physical touch bc i’m a HUUUUGE sucker for hugs and hand holding and stuff like that 🥺 i also really think 1 on 1 time with a s/o is important but i for sure think it’s good to have time apart or time with like a group of friends too!!

for hobbies i love to play video games, hang out with friends, listen to music, watch movies and tv and write!! i spend way too much time playing games like minecraft and legend of zelda and i can pretty much listen to anything except for country lol i love comedy and horror movies and tbh i’m kinda a sucker for romance movies 😳 i go to target like every day and just kinda walk around and before covid i loved going out to eat with friends and going to the arcade!!! i’m for sure more of a city person than a country girl and i love spending time downtown just walking around or going to baseball games or whatever!!

for future goals tbh i’m not really sure yet ?? i’m interested in maybe being a therapist or a teacher when i’m older but like i said i don’t have any like set goals career wise. i do want to get married but i don’t really want kids unless i maybe adopt ?? (fun fact i’m TERRIFIED of pregnancy for some reason lmao is that weird). i would L O V E to travel the world someday and see all of the different cultures and places i think that would be so unbelievably fun :))

turn ons include bondage, degradation, wax, dirty talk, and idk if this has a name but having to be quiet 😳😳😳 tbh pretty much everything except for feet, blood, p!ss, and pet (those are the turn offs) but idk besides those id probably be willing to try anything at least once

i hope this wasn’t too long or not descriptive enough!!! again if u need more info pls don’t hesitate to message me and ask i’m an open book :))) thank u sm for doing this muah ur an angel <33333

i match you up with...

connie springer.

i match you up because...

connie could care less how shy you were at first because he definitely opened you up, but not by his own will, you just felt so comfortable around him to open up in the first place. he just listens to what you have to say, it might seem like he doesn’t care but he’s really listening. you think you’re real funny? when you’re with connie you guys are both hilarious together and crack up at the stupidest stuff but it’s literally so funny because it’s with him. he appreciates that you can stand up for yourself and you’re straight forward so he doesn’t really have to jump in when you’re getting in it with other people— not that he won’t if you ask, he just isn’t a fan of drama if he isn’t watching it. connie isn’t great at reassuring you when you get jealous and start overthinking but i think there aren’t many moments when you do with him because you guys are always spending immense quality time together that is such a vibe it leaves no room for any thinking. connie doesn’t wake up early and neither do you so you don’t have to worry about waking up early when you live with him. you and connie are forgetful but you’re forgetful together— that’s not really a positive but it’s funny. you guys also both slack off in school work, which you probably both tried to fix but it didn’t work out. he enjoys that your love language is quality time becayse like i said, y’all spend a lot of it together. he doesn’t mind your affectionate but don’t expect much back in return.

you guys play video games together all the time, in the same house but different rooms, or sitting on the floor in front of the couch together

both of you once slept in together until 3pm and decided it was too late to even start your day, so got up and then went back to bed together

you and connie constantly go places together, and always try to go new places at that as well

you guys go out to eat at fast food chains really late at night

both of you tried to study together but y’all literally laughed like the whole entire time and got no progress done

you like watching movies with him but he always falls asleep like 15 minutes in so you take pictures of him sleeping

you guys go to walmart & target all the time to literally just look around

your runner up was eren, hope you enjoyed your matchup!

#eremiie aot matchups

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roxasboxas · 4 years

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An Exhaustive Post About WHY I Hate Eraqus So Fucking Much

*back on my bullshit voice* so the thing about Eraqus, right

We don’t see a lot of him, so when analyzing him we have to focus on his impact on other characters. And the first thing to note is how a lot of people in canon consider him pretty great, for whatever reason. But, again, we don’t see him being much of anything. So, his lasting effects on other characters are where it’s at.

Terra

Terra doesn’t display any actual skill when it comes to being able to tell who’s trustworthy.

Some of it comes from him not having grown up on Disney movies like we have, but even then a lot of the people he falls in with over the course of BBS are pretty blatantly suspicious. A lot of people put this on him as a personal failing, but I’d argue that a good deal of that falls on Eraqus, his fucking teacher-dad who was supposed to help keep him safe and know how to keep himself safe.

Although, in all fairness, this may be a skill Eraqus lacks, too, as he hangs out with Xehanort.

Still, though, Terra seems to trust people (especially authority figures) with an almost unnatural absoluteness in most circumstances (ie, any time outside of that scene where he saves Ven from Eraqus), which plays into my next point.

Terra is ridiculously hard on himself.

Terra: *makes one mistake while acting in self defense* Terra, literally: “I can never go home” (in the scene it’s a bit more obvious, but it’s implied that his thought process is that Eraqus would never accept him home after, yknow, him making a literal mistake)

Xehanort kills Eraqus, but who does Terra blame? His own damn self, to the point of telling Aqua that he Terra killed Eraqus, rather than that Xehanort who literally killed Eraqus did it.

Where did Terra’s darkness come from, anyways?

We don’t really have a solid idea of how hearts and light and darkness work in Kingdom Hearts (despite how often they’re brought up) but darkness at least seems to be pretty heavily sourced from negative emotions (Ansem SOD possessing Riku via him being upset about Sora not needing him, Vanitas’ entire character, etc.)

So. Terra’s darkness. Terra has enough negative emotion for it to apparently be a palpable problem that we are concerned about. Like, does he have a genetic predisposition to depression or anxiety or something? Are there any therapists in the Land of Departure? What’s going on there

Terra has so much going on emotionally that he literally gets possessed. He needs some milk therapy

Aqua

Aqua is the golden child and the eldest daughter and it. fucks. her. up.

She’s two years younger than Terra but she’s taking the Mark of Mastery at the same time as him. Did she just start at the same time as him? Why did she start so young? this is ridiculous

She absolutely puts herself in a caretaker role (definitely to a higher degree with Ven, but also with Terra at times). Her fellow apprentices are almost more her responsibility than Eraqus’ at times, which should absolutely not be the case. My girl is 18 in BBS she is too young to be raising a 16y/o boy and a 20y/o man.

What parental stuff does Eraqus do on screen? “Terra, you are like a son to me” fuckin act like it then

If anything Eraqus encourages this thought process and behavior when he tells her to keep an eye on Terra as he sends the two of them off to punch monsters. This aint healthy man. shut up

Even when she’s hanging out in the realm of darkness for a hot decade her focus is less on taking care of herself and more on getting back to Terra and Ventus because she feels so obligated to take care of them

She’s only IN the realm of darkness in the first place because she hopped in to save Terra, who was kind of. hella possessed and evil at the time.

I feel like this actually shows up in her game mechanics as well. She’s a glass cannon. She’s out here solving other peoples problems and killing monsters like a champ but shes got no health bc shes not taking care of her own needs.

All of Aqua’s problems really fall under that one category but hoo boy it is a doozy huh

Ventus

im going back and getting the exact dialogue for this part because holy shit

Eraqus: “Ventus, you’re alone? I thought Aqua would-- Well, what matters is that you’re home. You don’t belong outside this world yet. You need to stay here, where you can learn--” Ventus: “In your prison?” Eraqus: “What?” Ventus: “That’s your excuse... for keeping me imprisoned here, isn’t it?” Eraqus: “What did you hear?” Ventus: “That I’m supposed to be some weapon... Some kind of... ‘X-blade”!” Eraqus: “I knew it. Xehanort-- He could never let it go.” [pause for flashback] Eraqus: “I failed. I had the chance to stop him and couldn’t do it. But I will not fail again.” [Eraqus summons his fucking keyblade to kill a child] Ventus: “Master! What are you...” Eraqus: “The X-Blade has no place in this or any world. Xehanort has made his purpose clear... and I am left with no choice. Forgive me... But you must exist no more.” [Terra steps in and saves Ventus.] Eraqus: “What?” Terra: “Master, have you gone mad?” Eraqus: “Terra! I command you-- step aside!” Terra: “No!” Eraqus: “You will not heed your Master?” Terra: “I won’t!” Eraqus: “Why do all my attempts to reach you fail?” [side note: this is its own fuckin loaded statement but its in terms of his effect on Terra’s own self doubt rather than what Ventus is up to] “If you don’t have it in your heart to obey... then you will have to share Ventus’s fate.” [Terra and Eraqus begin to fight] Ventus: “Enough, Terra! He’s right...”

Or, tl;dr, Ven literally believes he should fuckin die just bc Eraqus said so. What the FUCK

Ventus: hey did you know about this Eraqus: yes. die Ventus: shit ok

Things to keep in mind:

Ventus has about 4 years of cumulative memory due to magic heart shenanigan induced amnesia

Eraqus was technically responsible for him this whole time, and claimed to Ventus (getting Terra and Aqua to lie about this, BY THE WAY) that this had been the arrangement since forever.

Xehanort and Yen Sid

Xehanort

Okay, we can’t blame Eraqus for Xehanort being evil as shit and we’re probably gonna get more info on that in the new Xehanort game, but. Eraqus fucking cheats at fantasy chess. Probably didn’t contribute that much to Xehanort’s darkness problem, sure, but probably didn’t help at all, either.

Yen Sid

Dude just lives in his tower. doing jack shit. making Sora and Riku teach themselves during their final exam. Making Merlin teach Kairi and Lea. do something my guy you’re irrevocably caught up anime drama anyways

this is the joke section. to lighten the mood after talking about the whole child murder thing

And then Eraqus had literally no direct effect on anyone else in the whole ass series. His entire impact was literally negative. I hate him

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts meta #eraqus #eraqus hate #terra #aqua #ventus #this is all completely unprompted btw i just. fucking hate this guy #and i was thinking #about how much i fucking hate this guy #and i love talking about my opinions sooo

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kinktae · 4 years

Note

The penultimate part🥺 I’m not ready to say goodbye, Bitchin!Jungkook has definitely been one of my fav characterizations of him that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing your work with all of us💖

bitchin 9 asks bc i suck

sapphireprinces5 said: bitchin’ pt9 was just so beautiful?? the way you explained the emotions and interactions between the characters was just amazing!! I felt myself hanging on every word wow excited for the end but will miss bitchin’ so much 🤧

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG AND YARA SIGN ME UP GURL!!!!

Anonymous said: Like I just feel like if Jk really liked y/n he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri, you know? It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t know how y/n felt. And it’s obvious that he has feelings for y/n so I just hope that’s something y/n addresses when she talks to him. Don’t settle for less girl! Get you a man who will fight for you regardless 👏 (btw this is not me criticizing how you wrote it in any way! I’m just so invested in the characters and am thinking about how I would feel in this scenario :) )

Anonymous said: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH YARA AND TAE I FELT IT SO DEEP IN MY BONES IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi! I just binge read bitchin in a day and can I just say that I loved it! I really love the female characters as well, you’ve written them so beautifully 🥺 if I was y/n I wouldn’t be concerned so much about Jk not sleeping with Kiri if he knew the way y/n felt, but rather the fact that if Jk didn’t want to sleep with Kiri, he wouldn’t have, regardless of y/n’s feelings or not. IMO y/n’s feelings shouldn’t be the issue here, but Jk’s should! If I was y/n’s bff that’s what I would tell her LOL

Anonymous said: OH MY GOODNESS! YES !!!! YESSSSS Y.E.S Muchas graciaaaas!!!

Anonymous said: tae and yara are my new ship)

unknowntalesx said: okay but like tae and yara thooO they got me all smiley being like oh yeah bayyybeEE das what im talking about 😏 ALSO OKAY NOW THAT I AM MORE LUCID KIRI GOT FUCKING WRECKED I LOVED THAT SHE GOT A DOSE OF HER OWN MANIPULATIVE MEDICINE I AM 😤😤😤😤😤

Anonymous said: im not ready for bitchin to end )):

Anonymous said: I SCREAMED WHEN Y/N TOLD KIRI THE TRUTH. YES QUEEN. STAB AND TWIST THE KNIFE!

Anonymous said: ROSE AHHSHSJSKSD FUCK U I’m all hot and bothered with anticipation for pt 10 now 😩😩😩🥵

sydney--chan said: We really stan y/n for using her big ol brain to rock kiris world oh my god I yelled also I say what's your damage all the time bring that shit back

Anonymous said: a tae x yara spin off series or one shot...... haha jk..... unless..... 👀

Anonymous said: Fuck kiri's scheming ass. I'm glad YN ripped her a new one

Anonymous said: AAHHHHHH once again, I love this chapter so much!!!! I was screaming at Yara and Tae part. Seriously!!!! I am SURE she felt that spark when he kissed her. Is she going to be the one falling for the guy while he wants something casual now? Or maybe Tae will fall for her as well? Ahhhh so cute! I feel like that would be a nice spin off yk (no pressure, I swear). And Erik, woah I didn't expect him to be like that. To be so nice and wise. Great character development indeed! It was really nice (1/2)

Anonymous said: To see their interaction and the way he opened her eyes (for some reason I couldn't help but picture him as Namjoon). Ohhh the Kiri part tho!!!! I felt really petty but in the best way lol. Anywaysss I am really excited for the last chapter (really sad too) and I am sure it is going to be the best because you are a genius! Thank you for sharing another amazing chapter with us! ♥♥♥ (2/2)

Anonymous said: OKAY I absolutely adored Bitchin part 9 😻 I always thought that it was also OC fault for what happened between her and jk, he obviously was the main jerk but she never actually admitted her feelings to him and he doesn't read minds so??¿¿? Really loved that she came to understand it. And I was rooting SO MUCH for yara and tae MAN I AM CRYING THEY DESERVE IT 🙌🏻

Anonymous said: you came through with the tae x yara content we all needed omg thank you!! if anyone’s gonna make yara fall in love it’s tae lol

Anonymous said: I honestly lowkey hate bitchin’ jungkook right now. I thought I’d get over it but I just can’t imagine how hurt and disgusted Y/N was when she found out that jk and kiri were together just hours before they were like ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m also really interested in Erik’s character development now so it would’ve been really interesting to see how he’d fit in Y/N’s life. 🥺

Anonymous said: jungkook and y/n wANT what yara and tae have

Anonymous said: TAEYARA YES FINALLY OUR WISHES HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 😍😍

Anonymous said: just want to let you know you’re an absolute angel and all you create is nothing short of perfection. *sends you all of the love*

spring2787 said: I jus came from a 4 hour long class and it's finally here... Thank you so much dear 🎂 💜

Anonymous said: Is yara me ? Like when she said that boy act like they understand the no string involved but then fall in love , dude I felt that , that's literally the story of my life lmaoooo Like the number of time a dude told me yeah I'm okay with that and then acted shocked when I told him I didn't feel anything for him is impressive lmaoo Anyway I'm so eager for the last chapter!!!! you did an amazing job!!

kuhweenbri said: The way I already finished but anyways girl I absolutely loved this part and now I’m excited for the next part 😭😭 will we be seeing more of T-ara??

Anonymous said: OMG YARA AND TAEEEEEEEEE. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY FANSERVICE. JSJSJSJJSBXBSBSB But on a serious note, this fic just keeps on getting better. The fact that there's only one chapter left still hasn't come home to me 😭 but thank you so much for blessing us with this!💜💜

Anonymous said: YO! bitchin is flippin brilliant! you have done so well! jungkook broke my heart in part 9! im emotional but also so ready for part 10! please take your time. have a lovely day

Anonymous said: i don’t normally talk to writers on here but bitchin is really bitchin, i haven’t read a fanfic in so long that makes me excited to read the next part and maybe it’s because i’m so used to all of the aus being recycled but bitchin is truly a breathe of fresh air to me for some reason, maybe because you fleshed out the right hand mans for both characters idk or the it being a different time period, but i just wanted to say you are smashing bitchin dude and i love it!!

shy-kpop-girl said: BITCHIN': I just caught up on 8 & 9. Shocked & angry at JK. Because regardless of whether he knew y/n' feelings it was a dick move to sleep with Kiri one night and y/n the next morning. And it wasn't like he came over to talk/tell y/n about Kiri & things escalated because he went right at it as soon as she let him in. Even tho it was hot. 😳 But Erik. I wanted to hate him but dude surprised me with his reasoning. I loved that dialogue! Once again your writing is amazing & I love this story!

Anonymous said: Bitchin is the best fanfic on tumblr. And no one can change my mind. You’re doing amazing!! Much love xoxo

Anonymous said: “Think of life as one big puzzle and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow… they fit. We find those that complete us. And they’re not necessarily opposites but—“ MAAM that part hit SOOO different omg your brain!?! Outta this world! Like this is whole ass literature!!!! I stg Bitchin’ is the best thing on this app and I meant that w my whole chest.

Anonymous said: I'm not ready for Bitchin to end. It's soooooo good 😍😍😍

kmultifandom said: Since there's a cast for bitchin I wanna audition for y/n because i wanna be a biologist and I have some similar personality traits *mic drop* Also great work, I seriously love it. No other fan fiction I have read was so close to my actual self and that impresses me even more and make it like it 10 times more djksksks

Anonymous said: how will I live when bitchin ends agghhh I haven’t even read 8-9 cause I’m waiting for the happy ending before I’m heartbroken and left waiting for the last part

Anonymous said: you know what would be super fun and crazy 😛😛🙈🙈 if you dropped bitchin’ pt 10 right now 😳😳 haha just kidding .... unless 😏😏

Anonymous said: lets gooooo!!!!!!!!!!! bitchin pt 10 better haunt me for the rest of the year

Anonymous said: I feel like I’m going to get so emotional once Bitchin’ part 10 is released. It’s like I’m sending off my non-existing kids to university because I won’t be able to see Bitchin!Jungkook anymore 🥺

Anonymous said: I can’t believe Bitchin’ is for real ending 😩 it’s soo gud

Anonymous said: Can’t wait till bitchin PART 10 Probably gonna fall asleep before u post but I’ll try to stay up for it 🥺

Anonymous said: i love your writing honestly and i just really want you to be happy. your writing is immaculate and i really want you to know that you are talented and skilled so yeah. sorry if this is out of nowhere but i just really want to show appreciation to writers because they don't get enough and you are definitely my favorite writer:)) hope you have a good day!!

Anonymous said: okay but if Bitchin' goes on for 50 chapters that would be good too.. just sayin'.

tpo-quinn said: Bruh, I can already feel that I'm gonna cry from the last chapter of bitchin'...I CAN'T WAIT!

leojjeon said: so i've re-read bitchin ready for chapter 10 an I am feeling all sorts of emotions. it's fair to say it's my favourite series I've read!

Anonymous said: y did i forget bitchin would have an end like 😳😐we’ve been on this bitchin journey w u for so long i’m sad it’s over

Anonymous said: What what what?? Bitchin is ending??!!! Didnt it just fucking start like all the drama and tae&yara!!!! Omg girl!!!

Anonymous said: ur the absolute fucking GODDESS of writing angst, ive never ever waited for a ff to be updated before as if it was a new episode of my fav show coming out. thank u for writing and be so active, muah ur amazing

Anonymous said: a moment of silence for our loved bitchin who will die soon 😔 gone but not forgotten, she will always be in our hearts. all the best rides come to an end 😭

#ask

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derryhawkins · 5 years

Text

Puppy Love

summary: Right after she breaks up with her abusive boyfriend, Beverly house and dog sits for her two good friends while they’re gone for a month. During this time she has to take the dog to the vet because of a terrible limp, and there she meets the one and only Ben Hanscom – a sweetheart with a pure soul and kind eyes. Untrusting of men other than her three best friends, Beverly believes she’ll never find someone to trust and be with for the rest of her life. But as time goes on, and as she becomes friends with Ben, that belief gradually changes. word count: 5.7k warnings: mentions of abuse (i don’t go into detail); there’s also a bit where she has a panic attack but i don’t go into to much detail there either a/n: hello i meant to post this earlier but i got anxious and then i needed to focus on school bc of a paper and today tumblr is being a bitch, so. sorry lmao. hope you enjoy this tho!! ignore any typos and/or spelling mistakes

AO3 link

chapter one: bad limp

Beverly Marsh doesn’t trust men – most of them, at least. The only men she does trust are her good friends: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, and Mike Hanlon.

She and Richie had grown up across the street from one another, and he was the only kid who adamantly stuck by her side through the hells of elementary, middle, and high school in their small town of Derry, Maine. They were both the outcasts there from the get go. A kid who was too talkative for his own good, a boy who came out proudly bisexual in middle school, a teen who couldn’t sit still for the life of him; paired with a kid who had bruises on her body everyday, a girl who learned men looked at her wrong at too young of an age, a teen who got slut shamed for very untrue rumors. Then college came, and the two hauled ass to New York City to go to college, sharing a shitty one bedroom apartment and working hellish hours to scrape by. They didn’t go to the same university, though; Richie went to NYU for four years in drama and then went a different route of standup comedy while Beverly went to a smaller college to get a cosmetology degree.

Those years, they met Eddie Kaspbrak and Mike Hanlon. Eddie was at the same college Beverly went to on way to become a Science teacher, and they both worked at a crappy coffee place. They got along extremely well and after a while she introduced him to Richie, the two beginning their marriage-like bickering instantly. It was no surprise to Beverly when they got together in their second year of college. The feisty young man complemented their duo extremely well from the get-go, officially making them into an inseparable trio in no time. Then comes in Mike Hanlon, a sweet boy who grew up on a farm and who was on his way to become the best veterinarian known to man. ("I'm not gonna be the best one, guys, chill." - "Well, we think you will be.") He was Eddie’s room mate and about the time Eddie and Richie started dating was when Mike got pulled in, making their group an even four. Beverly had been hesitant at the time. Her father and every man back home made her wary of how men and boys would be towards her, her own boyfriend no help to that thought process at all, but Mike was quick to prove her wrong. He didn’t stare at her as if she were a piece of meat – hell, he still doesn’t, and neither do the other two (for obvious reasons) – and he’s never anything but gentle.

And then there’s Tom.

How she ended up with a nearly carbon copy of her father as a boyfriend during college is beyond her. He looked harmless back then, Bev remembers; he charmed her way into her life, making her believe everything was fine, but then slowly started manipulating different situations and raising his hand at her and verbally threatening her. She should’ve gotten out of it sooner but something kept her there with the asshole; something kept her from telling her friends, coming up with lame excuses as to why another bruise had formed on her wrist.

Fast forward some years. The even four graduated – Tom, too – and Richie beings to work his ass off to get gigs and all for his stand up comedy career that hopefully won't flop, and Eddie’s searching for assistant teaching jobs, and Beverly is working at really nice hair salon that pays well, and Mike is in Veterinary School. And she’s still with Tom; her friends are starting to catch on, if they hadn’t before. A few more years down the line, Richie gets a big break (okay not that big, but it's a break nonetheless), and somehow becomes extremely popular among the teens after his tweet about his cute but angry chihuahua like boyfriend. Eddie has been an assistant teacher for a couple years now and getting ready to become just a regular teacher; and Mike’s out of Veterinary School, and Bev’s opening up her own salon after a two year business program at a community college. She’s still dating Tom.

Until she’s not. At 26, Beverly has had enough. After nearly seven or eight years of something she grew up enough with because of her father, she gains the courage to finally stand up again to her another abusive man in her life. The other three finally knew the entire truth and with their help and pep talks and comforting words and hugs, Beverly stands up for herself. She dumps Tom. A fight ensues. She acquired a few new bruises and he expects her still in their shared apartment when he comes home from work. But when he’s gone, through tears and cries, she packs up everything. Literally everything. And then she’s getting in the crappy Honda she’s had since her first year in college with all of her belongings and driving to Richie’s and Eddie’s house just a little bit away. They aren't there, though. Richie is on a mini tour for a month and to because it was the summer and to celebrate the fact someone hired him as an actual teacher for the upcoming school year, Eddie tagged along.

Beverly doesn’t trust men, and the full reason why hits her like a train as she sits in her best friend’s and his boyfriend’s home, alone and honestly a bit scared. It makes her sad thinking over how much she loves and trusts three guys with her life, but two harmful men and the disgusting, predatory looks from other men out weighs her best friends’ good intentions. As she sits there, suitcases haphazardly pushed into the living room and body sore, she wonders if she should go to the doctor. It’s only a few bruises and a busted lip, though. Eddie, if he knew, would be fussing over her and dragging her out of the house in an instant to get her checked on from worry – the opposite of what his mother did constantly to him as a child.

The redhead chuckles at the thought of the Kaspbrak fretting over her, but then a few tears are leaving her eyes and suddenly she’s crying again, and wanting to call one of her boys, but she can’t. She doesn’t want to. Not yet, anyway. Richie’s having too much fun, Eddie’s enjoying his break, Mike is already working, having a good time while doing so. They didn’t need to worry over her while they’re living their lives to the fullest.

A bark interrupts her thought process and she blinks, confused for a split second until she remembers Sid. A black lab with too much energy for her own good, just a little over a year old. Richie and Eddie had gotten Sid when she was four months old. They almost didn’t get her all because they weren't sure how often they'd get to spend with the puppy. Both are home more often than they thought, though still both of their jobs restrain them from spending the amount of time they want with the puppy - less often than they first thought, though. Thankfully, both Mike and Bev are available more often than not, Bev the most. They help take care of Sid when the couple can’t, which honestly isn't that much, and the adorable dog has somehow formed into everyone’s pet over time with how often they're all at the Tozier-Kaspbrak house.

Bev wipes under her eyes and cheeks, wincing at her palm pushes into the bruise on her cheek too hard, and makes her way through the house to the back door. She peers outside to the fenced backyard and sees Sid near the back, tail up and ears perked; on high alert. The dog probably heard something she didn't like, or maybe saw a squirrel. Beverly opens the door after she unlocks it, and one hand rests on the door frame.

“Sid!” She shouts to get the dogs attention. “C’mere, girl!” Sid yaps and runs to Beverly instantly, and the woman’s laughing a bit as she crouches down, the dog attacking her with licks. Beverly pets the dog in return and moves to sit on her butt. “Hey, girl. You missed me, huh? I was just here yesterday, though, before your dads left. You miss them, too? Hm, I bet. I do. Yeah, I do, and they miss you, no doubt about it. C’mon, hey- oof, let me stand up, girl. Sid- Okay, thank you. Hey, can you sit? I’ll give you treat! Good girl, let me take a picture.”

Beverly snaps a picture of Sid, the black lab’s tongue hanging out the side of her mouth as she pants, floppy ears forward and dark eyes wide. She quickly sends the picture to Eddie, paired with a text of heart and dog emojis and ‘she misses u!’. She then ushers Sid inside, brows furrowing when she thinks she sees the dog limping, but it was hard to tell. She quickly finds the dog treats in the kitchen pantry, and feeds Sid one right as she gets a reply from her friend.

[from: coffee buddy 11:49 am MNFK SHES SO CUTESJDK I MISS HER TOO GIVE HER LOVE SOME LOVE FOR US]

[to: coffee buddy 11:50 am i'll be sure to give her all the love dw ur pretty lil head]

[from: dipshit 11:52 am SID!!!!!!! THE CUTEST!!!!!!!!!! THANK U FOR UR SERVICE BEV]

[to: dipshit 11:52 am mwah ur welcome rich x]

She smiles at their reactions. It's cute and something she's seen a thousand times throughout the year they've had Sid. One time, she had watched and listened to Richie gush over Sid sleeping with her head in Eddie's lap, his boyfriend drifting off to sleep as well. Unfortunately, that memory ends with Tom calling her and demanding her home for the night, cutting the friends' fun night together short.

Beverly finds herself frowning at the memory and doesn't bother to keep track of Sid as she wanders throughout the house. The young woman stays in the kitchen, her mood coming back down. She brushes stands of her long hair out of her face, her features scrunching up in disgust. She hates it long. Hates the way it gets the way and how she always has to do something with it, always having to get tangles out at the ends. Tom loves her long hair though, and after some persuasion back in college, Beverly grew it out again and kept it at the same mid-back length. Her stomach churns with the realization her father liked her hair long, too. It was the reason she chopped it all off in the first place. Self-hate settles in her, and she can feel the tears coming back as she leans against the counter when her phone starts ringing again. She jumps. The irrational part of her brain is telling her that the caller is Tom, that he somehow found out that she left home while at work, and he's coming over to drag her back. The other part - the rational part - knows that can't be it.

With shaky hands, she pulls her phone back out. Relief floods through her at seeing the familiar number of one of her clients. She sighs and presses the green dot on the screen before putting it on speaker. It was Audra Phillips, a wonderful woman around her age that started coming to Beverly's own salon the moment it opened, always complimenting Bev's work and saying how the redhead should be a renowned stylist for hair, makeup and clothes. "Hi, Audra," she greets, hoping her voice doesn't give off the fact that she had been close to crying.

"Beverly, hi!" Audra greets, happy. If she can tell something is up, she doesn't say anything. "I was just wondering if we're still on for one today? It's just- I'm busy these next couple days and there's a court case Friday, and I really don't want to look like shit. The split ends are bad. And it's my first one, y'know?"

"Of course, yeah," Beverly does her best to sound up beat. "I was actually just about to leave to get everything ready." It's a lie, but the other woman doesn't need to know that. Until Audra called, Beverly's mind had completely pushed away her one o'clock appointment, too engrossed into the early morning fight with Tom and her leaving without his knowledge.

"Wonderful! You are a life saver, Marsh, I fucking love you."

A genuine smile reaches her lips. "It's truly no problem, Audra. I'll see you at one."

They hang up, and Beverly goes to the bathroom after fishing her makeup bag from one of her suitcases. She stares at herself, taken back by the appearance. The bruise on her cheek is worse than she thought, and she had dried blood she didn't know about on her chin from the cut on her lip. Her striking blue eyes are bloodshot and rimmed red from crying on and off throughout the morning, and her bright red hair was a bird's nest. She is a complete and utter mess, and she has no idea how to make it seem like she isn't. But she does her best for the next ten minutes; she covers up the bruise with ease, and does her make up to where the only indication of her crying are the bloodshot eyes. She tames her hair to the best of her ability and just throws it into a ponytail. She keeps what she's already wearing on - a tee from Disney World that she got a some years back when she and her three friends were all free of school - with light skinny jeans and converse. Then, she puts Sid back outside in the backyard, grabs her keys, makes sure the doors are all locks and that the lights are off, and finally leaves.

+++

"-and I've always wanted to start a fashion line. Or do something with fashion, and make up too, which is why I started that- that...what's the word? Oh, well, that thing where people can make appointments for getting their makeup and hair done for dates, or prom, or whatever - oh, a bundle! The two in one. Gosh, I'm the owner and can't even fucking remember these things correctly," Beverly says, wincing as she remembers that she's talking to a customer. "Sorry for my language."

Audra chuckles from where she sits directly in front of Beverly, the woman behind her snipping away at her now wet hair. "You know I don't care about your language, Bev, keep on with it. And don't down talk yourself, sweetie, everyone forgets things."

They meet eyes in the mirror and share a smile. Audra has been at the salon for some time now. Beverly washed the other woman's hair before actually starting to cut it, per Audra's request. During that time they had conversed about a million and one things, leaving one conversation to go to another only to jump back to a topic that had long since been forgotten when one of them remembered something else. It was nice, Beverly had to admit. It was getting her mind off of that morning.

"Would you add fashion if you could? To the bundle - making a three in one deal."

Beverly's brows knit together as she thinks about it. Then, "Most likely. I think it would be hard to do, though. I don't think fashion is one of my strong suits, and... I dunno, the makeup deal probably won't last too much longer and I doubt the fashion thing would, either."

Audra snorts with a roll of her eyes. "You are one of the most talented women I know with all of this," she tells Beverly, hands moving under the cape. "I've never been disappointed once, and the make up you do for the prom and special events are fucking fantastic! Your fashion sense is off the charts when you dress up; hell, even when you dress down. You have the potential to do all three, Bev. What's holding you back?" The question is quieter, filled with so much care; and her other words are full of sincerity. It has Beverly faltering her movements.

She licks her lips. She knows what's holding her back. "Tom," she says simply as she quickly goes back to doing Audra's hair, and she hopes it doesn't sound as bitter and fearful as it felt. "He's always been supportive of this - of the hair salon - but he's always...apprehensive about the makeup. And then about the fashion, he's just so against it."

"What do men know?" Audra asks. "And what does Tom even do?"

"He works at some small business. A financial analysis."

"He's just jealous. Scared, maybe, of you turning out better than him. God, men are so...ugh."

"There are a few decent ones out there," Beverly says, thinking of her friends. A large smile tugs at her lips. "My best friends. Richie's annoying as all fuck, but he's genuinely caring when he wants to be. Usually to his boyfriend, and me. We grew up together, so we're basically siblings. Then there's Eddie - Richie's boyfriend. A damn firecracker. A bit crazy. A mother hen, at times. Oh, and Mike! He's probably the most genuine, nice guy I know. He's over six feet, and Rich calls him a gentle giant. I'd call him the perfect guy, but he loves pranks, and he and Rich get into a prank war three times a year and they drag Eddie and me into them too. They're not perfect - not by a long shot - but they're the most decent guys I know. I doubt there's any 'perfect guy'."

Audra's quiet for a moment. "I'm surprised you didn't put Tom in there."

Beverly's jaw clenches for a moment. "Why would I put my ex in a list of good men?" She says in a casual way and hopes that it doesn't cause dramatic reactions from those around her. It does. Her regulars and few employees know of her and Tom. It was clear no one likes him, and Bev knows that maybe they figured out something had been wrong about the relationship, but she always painted Tom as a good guy to others despite the bruises littering her skin and his harsh words towards her even in public. Audra's jaw drops and Beverly stops snipping the hair and moved her arms to her sides just in time as Audra turned around, and she sets the scissors on a flat surface. A gasp is heard across the building, and Bev turns her head to see her good friend and employee, Kay McCall, standing a few chairs away, getting ready for another customer.

"Did he dump you?" Audra asks, almost sounding hesitant to do so.

Beverly looked back at her, and then at Kay who is walking over at the speed of lightning. "I... Actually, I dumped him," she says slowly. "This morning." It almost feels wrong telling the girls first instead of her best friends first, but there's a sense of relief that comes with telling someone and Bev figures that the boys won't mind.

Kay squeals and pulls Beverly into a tight hug. "Oh, my god, I thought you'd never get rid of that ass!" She pauses and pulls away, keeping her hands on her friend's shoulders. A serious yet excited expression sits on her face. "I know it's no surprise I don't like him, okay, I'm sorry. I know you loved him too but, babe, that boy was a total whack job! He gave me the fucking creeps!"

Audra is nodding along. "I wanted to say something, but we're not that close, y'know? And I didn't wanna piss you off accidentally."

"I honestly thought you were gonna end up marrying him. It was, like, my worst fear the longest time," Kay admits. Her hands finally leave Beverly's shoulders.

"Mine too." Beverly takes in their looks, and she wants to take the words back but it's too late. She doesn't want to tell them what he's done, it's too early and too fresh to tell someone out right, so she doesn't. "I stopped loving him, is all," she lies. But, it's not really a lie. "I felt obligated to stay in the relationship, I guess. Probably a bit scared, too, because we've been together since the end of my second year of college. I finally just ripped off the band-aid this morning."

Audra smiles softly. "Long ones are the hardest to end."

Kay nods in agreement. "Yeah. Hey, I've got a pullout at my apartment if you need a place to stay. I know you two were living together."

Beverly shakes her head. "Thanks, but I'm good for now. Rich and Eddie are out of the city for a month, and I'm already visiting there to dog sit. Might as well house sit, too. I'll call if I decide to take you up on that offer, though."

They share a few more words - not much at all, though - and soon Beverly is back to Audra's hair, and Kay is walking up front where a new customer is stepping in. She licks lips, feeling how chapped they are, and her nose scrunches the slightest bit as her tongue went over the cut. She had forgotten about it, and at remembering it she is grateful that neither Audra nor Kay asked about it. She doesn't know what she would have come up with if they did.

+++

The rest of the day consisted of Beverly having a few more customers, going to the grocery store because she knows for a fact that Richie and Eddie have zero food at their house, walking around fearful, and finally getting to the Tozier-Kaspbrak residence with the sun completely gone because apparently shopping and driving takes a lot longer than she realizes. She keeps the doors locked and lets Sid roam around as she puts up the groceries - she was right, they had no food - and later feeds Sid, noticing that the limp she thought she saw that morning is, in fact, a limp and it looked the slightest bit worse. After dinner, and after letting Sid outside for a few minutes to use the bathroom, Beverly's phone starts to ring and ring, and ping continuously, messages and missed calls from Tom keeping the device occupied. She waits, but the messages and calls come in nearly every second. Every minute. She wants to call someone - Mike, Richie, Kay, Eddie, anyone but Tom - but she can't pick up the phone, because that means looking at her messages. She knows it's not going to happen, but that doesn't stop her from feeling as if even if she touched the phone Tom would find out where she is like some telepathic demon from Hell.

It's not until she's hearing her own wheezing when it dawns on her that she's having a panic attack over the stupid fucking calls and text messages, curling in on herself against one of the kitchen walls, cheeks wet and make up smudged because of her tears. She hasn't had one in years, not since her first year in college, which is a surprise in and of itself given who she's been dating. Her mind struggles to grasp at what to do - its been eight years - but once she remembers, Beverly does her best to do it. It takes time, much longer than she would like to admit, but she soon calms down. Her hands stop shaking, and her cheeks are starting to dry, and her phone is silent too. Sid is laying a few feet away, staring. Worried. Beverly sniffles. Shakily, she stands and the young dog moves her head up in a flash, eyes trained on Beverly as the young woman moves across the kitchen. Sid then quickly gets up and limps to where she's right beside Bev.

Her eyes squeeze shut as she unlocks her phone to avoid looking at the missed calls and unread texts, and it makes her want to throw up as she does it but she blocks Tom's number, erases the messages and makes the missed calls notifications go away.

Then, she's going to bed in the guest room, exhausted. Sid is at her feet in the bed when she's supposed to be in her bog bed and kennel, but Beverly doesn't care. Rich and Eddie don't have to know, anyway. She's too relaxed. She feels too safe with Sid there. So, she lets Sid stay there, eventually falling asleep.

+++

It's halfway through the morning when Beverly notices Sid is heavily favoring her right front leg as she plays without a care in the world in the backyard. It concerns her, worries her, so she calls the nearest vet and places an appointment at two - and coincidentally, it's the one Mike works at. She doesn't call her two best friends yet, not wanting to worry them in case nothing is wrong. She doesn't go into work. She doesn't want to, simply put, so she doesn't. She's the owner, anyway, and goes in whenever she pleases; the fact that she had no one specifically ask for her on that day was another reason Bev doesn't go in, and she knows the employees can handle themselves. She takes a nice, warm, long shower and brings Sid inside around noon. Then she has lunch, and as the time for Sid's appointment rolls closer, she changes into Nike shorts and the same t-shirt she wore the day before, uncaring of who saw her in it yesterday. She's still emotionally drained from the night before, so it surprises her that she didn't walk out in sweats and a hole-y shirt.

The drive to the vet is fine. Sid stays in the backseat, constantly moving into different positions and standing to look between the front seats, even though her front leg is probably hurting her. Upon reaching the vet clinic, the hope of seeing Mike rises, and she gets out with Sid quickly, locking her car, and then goes inside. It’s not long at all until she’s sitting in one of the back rooms waiting for someone to come in and check on Sid. Not too soon later, the door is opening and she’s hoping it’s Mike, but it’s not. She tries not to look too disappointed, though it wasn’t hard at all given as the guy who walks in is attractive.

She blinks, taking in the dirty blond hair and soft brown eyes; he’s tall, too – about Richie’s or Mike’s height – and at first Beverly, admittedly, tensed up. Here’s a guy who she doesn’t know and therefore doesn’t trust, and her first thought is that he’s going to say something her. To try and flirt. To seem as if he’s this perfect dude trying to win Bev over for a hookup. But then he’s giving her a warm smile before crouching down to Sid who’s jumping in excited at seeing a new person, and she suddenly feels bad for jumping to conclusions.

“Hey,” the guy laughs as Sid licks his face. “You’re a friendly one, aren’t you? Who’ve we got here today?” He’s then looking at Bev and standing up.

Beverly twists the leash in her hands. “That’s Sid. Um, she has a bad limp, and I just got worried.”

He nods and looks back down to the dog, who’s now laying on the floor at his feet, panting as she stares up at him. “Yeah, I noticed it when I walked in. It’s pretty significant. If you don’t mind, I’ll take her to weigh her out there. We’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine, do what you gotta do,” she says. “I’ve never been to a vet before. Sid’s not mine, she’s my friend’s. I’m just dog sitting while he and his boyfriend are outta town. I figured I should bring her myself in case something is actually seriously wrong.”

He smiles as he slips the vet’s leash on Sid with ease, and unclasps the other off of her collar. “That's nice of you to do.”

“I'd do anything for my friends.” Beverly sets the leash in her lap, giving a tiny smile. “She pulls a lot, by the way. Just a warning,” she tells the man.

He nods. “It’s fine. Be back in a jiff,” he tells her and then he’s out of the room with Sid, the dog excitedly walking and pulling. Beverly chuckles and leans back in the chair, blue eyes looking at the framed picture on the wall. It’s an illustration of different types of dogs and their names and where they originally came from.

She’s about to stand up to get a better look when the guy and Sid come back in. He walks the dog to her and lets her reattach the leash before removing the vet’s leash. “How much does she weigh?” Bev asks, curious, frowning at how Sid is favoring her leg.

“Thirty pounds,” he says.

“That’s good, right?”

He nods. “Yes, it is. Female labs usually get up to between twenty-five and thirty-two.”

Bev smiles and pets Sid. “Well, you’re a healthy girl, huh? Other than your leg.” She looks up at the guy, and he’s already looking at her with an expression she can’t read. Its similar to the one Richie gives her once in a while when he’s in a particularly loving mood towards everyone; but there’s something about this guy’s expression that’s so different from it at the same time. There’s no lust, no want, no desire. Almost admiration, if she has to label it. It’s a look she’s not used to, to say the least, and she has to look away and back down to Sid. “So, are you going to check her out, or is there some big shot vet doc that has to come in?” She asks. “Dr. Doolittle, maybe?”

He seems to jolt back into reality at the question, and if Bev were to look up she would see his cheeks reddening. “Huh- oh, yeah. I’m just- just an intern here, trying to get my foot in the door before I finally become a veterinarian myself. No Dr. Doolittle, though.”

Beverly chuckles and looks up. “Shame. I’d pay some real money to have Dr. Doolittle here.”

He smiles, still blushing a little. “I’d pay to be Dr. Doolittle.” Then, “I’ll go get the ‘big shot vet doc’.” He uses air quotes as he uses the words Beverly had said moments before, chuckling lightly as she rolls her eyes with no malice behind the action.

“Alright. Oh- hey, uh,” she hesitates, “I’m Beverly Marsh, by the way. I should’ve introduced myself sooner. Sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Ben Hanscom. I’ll be right back with the doctor, Beverly.”

As he leaves, she can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed about just introducing herself like that so abruptly, but she pushes the feeling away. A few minutes later, the guy – Ben, and she can’t help but think how well the name suits him – walks in with the doctor. They check on Sid, have her walk around for a few seconds, and then the doctor is explaining that nothing seems wrong.

“There isn’t any swelling or cuts or broken bones, so it’s probably just a bad sprain. Nothing too bad, thankfully, but you’ll have to restrict how much she plays for it to get better. I’ll prescribe her some pain medication that you’ll give her once a day for seven days. If it’s not better by this day next week, I suggest bringing her back. It’ll most likely require surgery if that’s the case.”

Beverly nods along to the words and takes the information in, planning on calling Richie once she leaves to explain everything to him. After that, both the doctor and Ben are leaving again, Ben coming back five minutes later with a small, blue pill bottle.

“Give her one forth of these everyday, and it should help,” Ben tells her as he hands the bottle to her. “I hope she gets better. She’s such a sweetheart.”

Beverly stands and holds the pill bottle with one hand, and Sid’s leash with the other. “Me too. Thank you, by the way.”

He sheepishly smiles and shrugs. “I barely did a thing. It’s all the doctor.”

She chuckles. “Well, thank her too for me. Hey, do you know a Mike Hanlon?”

He nods quickly. “Yeah, he’s another intern for one of the other doctors here.”

“Is he here?”

“Yeah. But he’s helping with a surgery on a sick cat. Why?”

She shrugs. “He’s one of my friends. I was expecting to see him, is all.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

Beverly frowns but then smiles, shaking her head as she gets ready to leave. “You’re not a disappointment, Ben. You seem like a cool guy, and it was nice meeting you.”

He’s then giving her another warm smile, and he’s blushing again. “Thanks. It was nice to meet you, too. And Sid, of course.”

Beverly then says a bye with a smile of her own and she walks out of the back room, and to the front. She pays, not minding having to, and walks out with her phone pressed to ear as she calls Richie, explaining what’s wrong and what’s happening with Sid as she drives home. She doesn’t mention the breakup or Ben just yet. She doesn’t want to think about either too much, and telling her best friend about both would require just that. So, she doesn’t. Richie doesn’t ask, either, because one: he avoids the topic of Tom as well because it just puts him in a pissy mood for the rest of the day and he can’t be in a pissy mood during a gig, and two: Beverly have no indication about the guy who helped out at the vet clinic being attractive in any way.

She sighs as she falls into the couch after giving Sid the correct amount of medicine, turning on the TV, pushing any thoughts about men out of her mind as she watches a rerun of an old 90s show.

#ben hanscom #beverly marsh #benverly #it #the losers club #my writing #*#pls don't let this flop

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jennycalendar · 4 years

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2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it!

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.”

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.)

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

#fic #fic roundup #ngl i'm like really proud of this list #stayed up.....two hours....to complete it

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nolitetebastardescarborundorum · 5 years

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What I like and dislike about each Skam Version:

The order is when I watched them. Which is basically the same order when they came out since I watch clip for clip live with every version since the evak cuddle clip 3 years ago. I won't point out things twice if a remake did it exactly the same. For example the blackmailing of Noora. Disliked it in the og, ditto with every other version. Another disclaimer: I don't have a favorite version since no one was perfect from first to last season. Different versions have different favorite seasons for me.

What I loved about the og 🇳🇴: The complete different format of a show with the clips, social media, roughly camera work that made it look like a reality show or documentary. The actors being the age of their characters and not all being thin, beautiful models. The pov and seing the boring aspects of life too. All the casual parties. The music and the whole russbus culture. In general getting to know so much about other cultures that I didn't thought about before for even a minute. Eva standing up for herself and breaking up with Jonas. Penetrator Chris as the comic relief, he may be a fuckboy, but he is isn't sexist or homophobic, his one liners are iconic. A normal reaction to Isak being gay and Evak actually getting an happy ending and a proper love scene like any hetero couple gets. Eskilds gay pride speech, it made me rethink my own mindset, as well as Sanas line about hate doesn't come from religion, it comes from fear and her whole conversation with yousef about religion. The guys helping Isak get back his man and Magnus hilarious questions, but also his helpful advice. Everything in the scene with Eva's 18th birthday. Even singing imagine. The cuddle clip, literally my favorite clip in all the versions, the spiderman kiss and the universe talk. Yousana love shown without any touching. The girls picking up Sana with the los losers bus. The ballon squads YouTube channel. How sweet and protective Elias was about Sana. 5 fine frøkner! Kosegruppa. If I could chose I would want a season for Magnus and Penetrator Chris.

What I disliked: Jonas treating Eva like she's stupid. Everything with William pretty much, starting with his non existent personality to blackmailing Noora, dissing Vilde, not listening after the SA happening etc. Nooras completely change in attitude from feminist to falling for the fuckboy and betraying your friend, also, ik most of the fans love it, her speeches, the one at William and also the one at Nicolai, it was just too long and arrogant to me sorry, I don't thought yes queen, I more thought yeah okay we got it already. The lack of communication with literally everyone. Vilde being so judgemental. Eva 'stealing' Jonas. Even not being able to speak for himself about his MI. The hate against Sonja, yes her saying Even can't love was fucked up, but her outrage and pain was more than understandable for me. The call your gf scene, idk it just makes me uncomfortable and I just felt bad for the girls. The whole show basically revolving around Noora in every season and her amount of screen time. Chris and Emma in the end, a huge wtf that made no sense and came out of nowhere, as well as Jonas and Eva's suddenly reunion.

What I loved about 🇮🇹: Be aware that I'm biased since Italy is my favorite country since childhood. I love everything about it. Landscapes, food, clothes, cars, the men^^ and ofc the language and names. First and foremost the cinematography. Also the music. All the girls being pretty as fuck. I feel like they where more mature too, but that goes for the boys and Eduardo too. Elia being there since season 1. The skating shenanigans. Martino and Eva being the closest version of this friendship (which is why I hope they continue this in the next season and make them close again, not going for the best buds). Their parents being more involved. Edoardo not insulting Silvia. Giovanni constantly cursing and gesturing like the true Italian that he is. Ofc the bromance in s2, that was what the season was all about for me more than the romance (reason in the dislikes), how they all cared for each other, had actual conversations, were with marti everywhere and always supported him. Gio being the best friend ever and constantly checking in on marti. How all the boys and edos rich gang stood up for marti against the homophobes, I never cheered so loud during a clip istg. The man, the myth, the legends Chico roddi :D. Eduardos soft side, when he played creep or cried when Eleonora could tell him herself what happend. The way they merged the squads together and all hang out boys and girls and also Filippo. Filippo and Eleonora being siblings and literally everything that fillipo does, his sassyness is unmatched. Cute Short king luca, carefree elia. Seriously I could write novels about this boy squad. Their parties and how they do them at 9pm during business days. Guardami Martino! 😂 If I could chose I would want a Gio and Fillipo season.

What I disliked: The darkness, especially s2 although it looked romantic a lot of times. The way Gio kisses, listen I love him with all my heart but he looks like he wants to eat faces or lick them like a dog 😂. I couldn't get into Niccolò, he never grew on me, came of kinda cold and the chemistry between the actors compared to the other versions isn't that great imo. It also has the only Sana I don't like and don't care for her season. It's not bc of the controversy about the actress. She just comes of rude in the show and also has way too less scenes to get excited for her pov, Her relationship with Marti is also non existent. The lack of social media and texts. Some of the actors looking way too old.

What I loved about 🇫🇷: The many changes of season 3. The piano scene with literally heart eyes. Eliott being the biggest dork. Eliott being able to express his feelings about his MI. Eliott saying it's not a girl. The rain kiss. Lucas being a major cutie. His relationship with the girls and Manon in particular. How they helped Daphne with the room. That we get an Arthur season, he's my favorite Madhi. How happy they were when Lucas came out and how they cheered everytime they saw Eliott. The elu social media content. Yann apologizing for his behavior and comments in the past. The hedgehog and racoon personas. Imans dad. Alexia and Arthur becoming a thing. The bts and Interviews, especially the attentive Maxel friendship.

What I disliked: The first two seasons being 1:1 copy from the og, I only watched them bc I had a close french friend when it aired. The whole Charles shit in s3&4. The acoustic music often being a bit to on the nose, like the music before a jumpscare in horror movies, for example the common room meeting, it was so obvious they would fall in love. S3 of France is probably my favorite version of this season, but it is like a dramatic romcom movie and felt less realistic compared to the others and the og. Emma is super bland and kinda dumb. Mika being super rude to Lucas. The disrespect against iman. Sofiane actually dating Manon.

What I loved about Druck 🇩🇪: (Also biased since I am german) Jonas sweetness. Hans is hilarious. Jonas and Hannah reunion. Kiki turning into the sweetest. The girl squad being really close. The boy squad being dumbasses. The change of Alex and showing his anxiety. Kiki and Carlos being a wholesome couple. The changes and extra content. Amira and Mohammeds softness. Their sm game.

What I disliked: The dialogue sounds very cringey to me and super scripted. The Mia actress looks like she doesn't like to kiss Alex at all, no chemistry and no love to be seen for me. Mia being arrogant in general. That Amira had only 7 episodes and Mia extra concent for her boring relationship. I never could get into Matteo much, he was to much of a sloth to me, let everything just happen and while that may be realistic, it's for the viewer pretty boring. I also couldn't get into David much, we knew barely nothing about him for most of the time and then he was absent for like 3 weeks straight. Davenzi also came of as more like best friends to me as an couple in love, they were cuter in s4. Unrelated to the plot or show, but the druck stans that feel super entitled and superior.

What I loved about 🇪🇸: The made subtle changes from the start. Lucas coming out to Eva and not being a snake. Jorge being the softest Jonas and not lying about weed. The girl squad being the closest and cutest with another, as well as the boys and them being a mega squad since s1, way less inner group drama and the friendships in this versions are just super wholesome to me and my favorite girl squad. Also my favorite amira, she wants to adopt everyone and they all care and respect her religion and I have high hopes for her season. Their parties. Also the remake with the most sm content and texts. The only P Chris version that comes nearly close to the og, being sassy, charismatic and having hella sexual chemistry with eva. The fact that also my favorite chris got her own season, that they changed it to a wlw plot that was displayed tastefully and not overly sexualized. The portray of having borderline, being shown how it really is. Lucas having an Youtube channel and how supportive his boys reacted and how tender him and Jorge are, I can't stretched enough how much I love and stan attentive, genuine male friendships without toxic masculinity. Hugo being an absolute sweat heart since his first appearance, not being petty or mad with Cris and just being a true friend. If I could chose I would want a season about Lucas and Amira.

What I disliked: Alejandro looks like 14 to me and I'm not keen on seeing this plot for the 8th time. Viri and Cris clothes a lot of times, Ik they dress like teenagers these days do, but it just looks horrendous to me sry. Them stretching out the story between Cris and Joana so much and breaking them up like 5 times.

What I loved about wtfock 🇧🇪: I just started with season 3 live, because I couldn't get into the characters when the first clips of s1 dropped. I later binged s2 and watched some key clips of s1.

They changed many things for the better. First and foremost Senne, him being supportive of Zoë, a good flat mate and encouraging dad friend. Zoë giving him way more of a hard time and making him work for it. Robbe moving into the flatshare and becoming bff with Zoë. Not breaking up Zoenne and making Senne an important character in s3 as not only Zoës boyfriend. Sander! I love his whole art hoe - e boy brand, his music taste, his clothes, hair, how reckless he is, his blant flirting. Robbe being an absolute baby ™ and clingy af. The Willems chemistry is unmatched in the skam universe. Yasmina is so fucking pretty and intelligent. Rosanders date. Milan being sooo cute and Robbe having confidence in him and them being genuinely friends. I could swoon over the found family in the flatshare 24/7 and wish I could live with them. Robbes dad asking if Sander is a vegetarian. Luca & Noor shading Moyo. Noor having a personality besides being naïve and a beard for the Isak. Robbe caring about his mom.

What I disliked: Senne starting of as the worst William with his bracelets and showing around Ambers nudes. Ambers rudeness in general. The boys talking only about girls and totally ignoring Robbe for 6 weeks straight, especially Jens. Moyos sexist and homophobic comments and behavior. Clips and drama with no explanation or follow ups, brushed off or rushed scenes. The gay bashing and robbes slurs, them turning everything into drama for drama sake. For multiple weeks only clips that were either total drama or happy clips with no normal daily life. Exaggerating the robbe and noor make outs. No Sander the first 2 weeks. The lack of answeres from Sander and questions from Robbe, brushed of with one liners. Barely any texts.

#Skam #skam remakes #skam france #skam og #skam italia #Druck #skam espana #wtfock

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killapunk · 5 years

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the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her.

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’.

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning.

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well.

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

#manipulation #story sharing #submission

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 6 years

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-this bitch.....empty

- G o d okay so we all know I'm an absolutely useless person when it matters, right? that’s common knowledge. that’s public record.

- When I got there tonight I tried to help out with wires and lights and shit and I am just so,,,,,,,,,beyond inept oh my God I felt so bad

- Couldn’t tape properly....couldn’t find the right wires TWICE so Tom ended up having to come find them himself anyway when he asked me to do it solely so he wouldn’t have to run back and forth......couldn’t set the lights properly.....couldn’t remember where to plug shit into even though I was told moments before.....hit the wrong buttons causing people to think the lights were broken for a solid fifteen minutes.....somehow ended up completely covered in saw dust.....like I’m truly such a hindrance omfg

- it was???? 900 degrees in the theater???? For no reason???? I had the fucking chills yesterday so I dressed in a sweatshirt this wasn’t fair

- They didn’t get through act one...the world is shocked

- The director tried to move 1 (one) set piece and then said ‘I hate doing stage crew, I don’t wanna do stage crew anymore’ and Tom, in a whisper of barely-concealed rage, was like ‘I don’t want to do stage crew and set design and lights and sounds and projections and-’ and I cant even finish this list bc I cant remember every thing he does but I was just dying honestly this poor guy needs to escape omfg

- The opening scene for ‘Magic To Do’ and shit. okay. listen. It opens on a black screen with whitehanded gloves coming out and then Tom’s putting a black light on them, and THAT looks awesome. But....moving the screen and the screen itself look like garbage oh my God

- The kid she cast as Pippin. listen. He’s funny and I like him. If you’ll refer back to my in the heights posts, he was Sonny

- ...remember how I also said the kid playing Sonny was very talented but seemingly untrained and thus the weakest link in the main cast

- O H M Y G O D

- Listen, he’s good, but the kid that understudied for Pippin yesterday was a much better singer, and he literally didn’t even know any of the songs he was singing...I just have QUESTIONS, you know?

- Steven, who’s playing Charlemagne...his mic just decided it Didn’t Feel Like It today

- Oh my God so the two Leading Player’s right. Okay, the one kid, I’ve known him since he was like, ficking 9 or something and he was practically born on a stage. Amazing projection. His mic died halfway through the rehearsal and we literally didn’t even notice. He’s solid. But the GIRL. I love her but she’s so INCONSISTENT. First she’ll sing too quietly, so we’ll turn her mic up....and then she’ll decide to be loud, so we have to turn it down....over....and over....and over...oh my God. And considering her scene partner is SO LOUD like it’s just. Messy.

- “It’s not even six’o’clock and I already don’t wanna be here“

- A lot of the dances have potential to be good but it just seems like no one in the cast,,,,,knows them

- So much high school musical and bye bye birdie and rent was sung???? But the most unholy moment was when Tom suddenly remembered we were in 13 together a million years ago and fucking went “We alllllll haaaaave....a little more MAAAAGIC TO DO” I almost screamed the worst mashup I could imagine and now its STUCK IN MY HEAD

- There were so many moments where Tom would be like ‘they need to _____’ and it fell on death ears and then less than five minutes later someone else would suggest that idea and he’d be like “OH. OH DO YOU THINK THATS A PLAN???” lmao

- asdfgh they got in their places for ‘War is a Science’ and Tom was like ‘lol they way they’re set up reminds me of La Vie Boheme’ but then they....started doing the dance and we were like WHAT THE SHIT bc it was TOO CLOSE to our La Vie Boehme lmaoooo

- I’m so hung up on the decapitated head that talks to Pippin like I really don’t remember that ever happening and no one will tell me why it’s happening omfg

- The directors baby grandson is Always Here but I got to ‘talk’ to him tonight and like....words cannot truly express but this is literally the most adorable child on the planet??? He deadass has anime eyes, guys, wtf

- We’re trying to get Charlemagne a laser pointer wish us luck

- “Just give him one and see how long it takes the director to fucking notice. It’ll be the last show I promise”

- We had an actual discussion on why purple was a ‘royal’ color

- I swear apart from like the two or three kids I knew for a long time and was like in other shows with,,,,,,these kids hate me or sm like TEENAGERS, man, omfg

- “Ahhh, yes....the company’s official old lady wig”

- “Oh my God. Oh my God it looks like a fucking TED talk”

- “I...okay, kid, I GUESS that was technically a falsetto-”

- Tom: “If she moves my fucking speaker, I swear to God. Don’t-”

The director: *all but kicks his speaker out of the way*

Tom: “JUDITH ESTELLE-”

- I had to explain who Matthew McConaughey is

- Tom decided today, after 8? 9? years of knowing me, to suddenly start calling me “Moll” but when he’s across the room no one can fucking tell if he’s saying “Moll” or “Mom” so we were confused half the night

- “How do you not know who the Visigoths are?” “Listen I went to Catholic school we just kinda lightly touched on the Crusades okay”

- I got physically ill from how hungry I was

- “Drowsy Chaperone is much better at being a meta musical” “It’s newer, it learned from Pippin’s mistakes”

- There’s been so much staple gun drama for some reason and my mother literally ran into the directors husband at Lowes because of it

- “Imagine going to your Grandma’s house hoping for a fun and meaningful visit but then she just sings for like five minutes then has a group of men carry her away”

- Oh my God,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the scene where Pippin’s like banging everyone in the country

- So what’s SUPPOSED to happen: He has a dance with a bunch of girls, some guys come out and join the mix, the dancers pair off and get into ~~~suggestive~~~ poses until Pippin becomes tired and disgusted and decides Sex Isn’t The Only Reason For Living

- What’s ACTUALLY happening: He’s got this weird dance with like twenty girls, right...And then six boys come out...and line up and they do this lean thing while Pippin’s on his knees (”he’s EXPERIMENTING”) and then the girls have another dance break but it’s just like. random dance moves. Like, I’m NOT game for having a bunch of teenage girls pantomime the fucking kama sutra out here but the dance makes no sense and with the fact there’s only six ensemble boys who do Barely Anything it just reads less as ‘Pippin tires of sex’ and more as ‘Pippin gets chased away by a bunch of lesbians who were sending a lot of mixed signals’ asdfghjk

- All the body parts were thrown onto and taken off the stage by the tiny little kid playing Theo and it shouldn’t have been so funny but it WAS omg

- This cast is NEVER CENTERED onstage and it’s driving me INSANE like there’s always a few stranglers on stage right and it looks so sloppy but my complaints are falling on death ears rip

- The foam sun....took like 20 minutes to hang up

- it’s there for O N E S C E N E

- I can’t type anymore I'm tired and literally still have saw dust on me but anyway: still not considering throwing myself into a fire pit

#pippin vagueblogging 2k17 #pippin #musicals #theater #molly mumbles

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keepyourpantsongohan · 7 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs SAO S1

The real question is how no one has arrested this game creator yet

There are only two types of game players those who create their avatars to look as much like them as possible and those who want to be a pretty princess

“2,000 people have died so far” well that escalated quickly

Lmao @ Kirito’s group-work anxiety same my guy same

I don’t trust Blue Haired Knight he is hanging back at the rear while everyone else fights

Well he’s dead now so I suppose it’s irrelevant

I like that Kirito was phased by the fact his partner was a pretty girl for about five seconds before he was calling out battle tactics

Jesus Kirito went from plucky young boy to Edgelord in ten seconds

“Are you talking about suicide?” “That’s not such a bad idea” I mean... u right

I can’t be the only one wondering what’s happening to their bodies while they’re spending literal months in this game unable to eat or defecate

How do u think Kirito’s mum would feel about him sleeping in bed with girls

Kirito made friends and they all died so quickly yikes

All of Kirito’s decisions are made so abruptly he decided to adopt Silica out of nowhere

Nice to know romance isn’t dead in the virtual reality hellscape

Things are so happy right now I’m sure everything’s about to go terribly fucking awry

Apparently Kirito is a bounty hunter now these time lapses are wild

I can’t believe Asuna is taking Kirito on a date in exchange for letting her nap

Grimlock is a name that screams evil but I’m honestly more suspicious of Yoriko

It seems me being suspicious of someone means they’re immediately going to die lmao

Nope I was correct the first time whoops

“How many times you been married anyway?” Kirito pls

“I had to kill her while she was still my wife” calm down Othello

Kirito, explaining marriage: “If you marry someone, that means you already like whatever you know about them, doesn’t it? And if you discovered something you didn’t know about them before and fell in love with that too, then that would be awesome?”

Dfghjkfhgkjdhgksd;hf

Lisbeth: Brr it’s cold

Kirito: Well damn Lisbeth I can’t control the weather

But if Asuna has a date and it’s not with Kirito who else are these teens romancing

“Especially if that someone’s a girl like you, Lis” the biggest recurring trope in this anime is that Kirito is inadvertently romantic

Lis is such a good friend she sees that Asuna likes Kirito and immediately backs down

“It’s been almost two years since this game of death began” yikes how decrepit must your real body be what about your family what if some of these players have children you are a child

These domestic virtual times are sweet but depressing because their lives are a lie

Sfdjhgdfhgkjh does Asuna’s bodyguard have a titty detector that senses when someone is touching her

“Hey, Klein, still alive huh?” Kirito’s social skill are so great

Lmao @ Kirito punching Klein for trying to hit on Asuna even he seemed surprised by it

I appreciate the plot twist of dual wielding because it’s cool but not like unreasonable within the context of the story

I really do not like that Asuna is basically the prize in this duel

It’s really zero percent surprising that this event turned to murder so quickly

Literally every choice Kirito makes is so abrupt like I know he likes Asuna but he went from reluctantly joining her guild to kissing her and vowing to stay by her side forever in like a day calm down Romeo

Gfkhgkjdfhgkfhgkjhfkgj Kirito just wanted to hang but Asuna thought he wanted to bang I’m crying

“And then... we’d get married” I know you’ve been in this game a long time but I feel like you are definitely still minors

This show is the definition of that escalated quickly they decided to get married one minute ago and now they have a house in the woods

“Is he younger than me?!” ASUNA I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MARRIED HIM WITHOUT KNOWING HIS AGE WHAT IF HE’S 12 AND YOU’RE 17 AND ALSO IF YOU DON’T KNOW HIS AGE WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BOY YOU JUST MARRIED

They’ve still got separate beds and haven’t seen each other naked but also I don’t know what I expected they’re like 15

I can’t believe they’ve just adopted a child this is insane they are really embracing the ‘I do what I want’ philosophy

You can never escape the stranglehold of capitalism even in virtual reality

“Your mom’s crazy strong, isn’t she?” they’ve really embraced their roles as Yuhi’s parents huh

“I’d rather trust her and regret it than not trust her and regret it” what a lovely philosophy Kirito

It’s really cute that they’re like this little family and all but also really fucked up and sad because they’re not her parents and who knows if Yuhi’s even real

Oh my goodness their baby is a robot

“Remember, you’re our child” this is going to be upsetting

Did they just promise to recreate their robot baby christ how do you plan on raising her

“Nice job, honey,” this is so funny he’s so proud of his wife the fish slayer

Finally addressing the reality of their decrepit comatose bodies

I knew we couldn’t trust Captain Cheekbones

I’ve never heard “I promise I’m gonna end this world” said in such an optimistic tone

Whoa they’re both dead that is not where I thought this was going but I guess they went full Romeo and Juliet huh

Well this plot twist makes a lot more sense also how is no one in this hospital stopping Kazuto from escaping the hospital surely a nurse notice him flatline

Is this intro meant to imply that these guys continue to play MMO games after their extremely traumatic two year comas

How exactly did Kazuto explain his relationship with Asuna to her family

Is Asuna’s father going to marry off his comatose daughter?? Surely there are laws against this

“If I proposed and she could speak, I’m pretty sure her answer would be no” WHAT THE FUCK

Kazuto makes it sound like she’s just moving away instead of being married against her will while in a coma

“In the end your heart belongs to her” Is Suguha in love with Kazuto because even if you’re not siblings you’re still cousins ew pls stop

Robot baby has returned

Kirito does not know the meaning of low profile

I am not okay with this cousin-fucking vibe that’s going on Leafa u need to stop

This dude is a fucking rapist I hate him

How is Kazuto’s education going I wonder considering he just lost two years of his life

“Do you feel the same way about him?” Obviously not bc she’s too busy wanting to fuck her cousin

Dickface accidentally giving Asuna hope by confirming that Kirito lives

“Did he.... set you that way?” Leafa is asking if Kirito has a daddy kink

This level of drama and dedication to not letting anyone die must not make sense to someone who does not know he was trapped in a life-or-death game coma

It’s funny to see how quickly Kirito has jumped on the killing train now that there’s no longer a danger of actually killing someone

Although with Asuna there it stands to reason that there is potential to hurt someone because there are still some people whose nervous systems are still tied to the game

I can’t believe that Kirito is delaying stopping his girlfriend’s real-life marriage to deal with in-game politics where are your priorities dude

Kirito as a news anchor: Violence in video games is ruining this generation

Honestly this boy has never been anything less than 200% Extra a day in his life how does he expect to get Asuna if he is causing a ruckus everywhere he goes

Lmao @ everyone hitting on Kirito while he is lowkey thinking about how he’s married

I can’t wait for Asuna to murder her forced fiance

“Do I want to be a good sister? Or...” do you want to fuck your cousin? It is the latter and it’s unsettling

“I’m in love with my brother, and that’s something I can’t tell anyone about ever” at least you’ve registered that it’s incest but doesn’t mean it doesn’t give me the heebie jeebies still

Without the context it might just seem like Kazuto and Asuna are a weird couple that calls each other mommy and daddy

I guess Kirito brought a sword to an arrow fight

“I can do this on my own,” he said immediately after dying

Leafa tried to give Kirito the Hug of Passionate Restraint but instead gave him the Shoulder Grab of “You’re Making a Poor Decision”

Suguha coming to the realization that her life has twice as much incest as she thought it did

I DON’T KNOW WHO IS MORE UNCOMFORTABLE RN ME OR KAZUTO

“I’m sorry” Don’t apologize Kazuto it’s not your fault your sister/cousin wants to bang you

“Right then and there, I swore to close the gap that had grown between us over the last couple of years” looks like that gap was closed a little too well my guy

That’s a lot of love confessions in a very short time frame

What are you apologizing for homie literally all you did was exist and be a good human being

I fucking hate Sugo he is the worst person alive

I think this is the first time I’ve seen someone assaulted on screen in an anime I feel sick to my stomach

What kind of honourable ass shit is this Kirito just gave his enemy a sword

I guess honour only extends so far when you’re tossing someone’s bisected body into the air to impale them

What the fuck are you gonna kill a teenage boy Sugo

Well if you’re gonna get stabbed a hospital is the best place for it to happen

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD KAZUTO YOU CAN’T JUST KILL PEOPLE YOU DON’T LIKE

Kazuto should really get those stab wounds treated

Lmao @ these priorities “well you just woke up from a coma it’s time to meet and make out”

Pretending you have objection to PDA Ms. Let’s Get Married at 16

I like how they all come out of the VR world and they’re all still fuckin nerds

Kirito is such a good big brother to his creepy little sister

#ayesha liveblogs sao #ayesha talks anime #liveblogging #this has been sitting in my drafts for 35 years

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fluffandlove · 7 years

Text

Shoujo Life Update~

Cuddles, tickles, kisses and a liiiiittle bit of angst oooh boy

Imma type this real quick without rereading it cause it’s almost 2:30 in the morning oh god I need to sleep x’D

This week was very chaotic as we’re getting used to this new lifestyle and trying to get settled and shit --> reason why I’m so inactive I am so sorry buuuut as soon as school starts, we’ll probably get settled for real

Trying to settle means walking around Japan, practicing our Japanese (I am legit so proud every time I manage to squeak out an entire sentence, it’s unreal), getting to know each other and all that shizzle. Crush friend and girlfriend and I have been my best mates so far and we’ve been together pretty much everyday, planning together and eating together and I’ve noticed that crush friend is getting overly touchy with me huuuueeee

So our homeroom teacher showed us our school and once we got showed around and got back in the elevator to go back to the first floor, I suddenly felt two hands cupping my waist from behind, fingers reeeaal gently stroking my stomach, so I freaked the fuck out and started screeching lol

Crush friend chuckled behind me as he continued to caress and tickle me at the same time while one of my new friends yelled out, “Omg, she’s ticklish!” aND EVERYONE STARTED POKING AND SQUEEZING ME I FUCKING SHIT YOU NOT. IN THE ELEVATOR. I couldn’t even get away bc crush friend kept holding my waist and pulled me against his chest, laughing against my neck and it was really bad hahhahahahahhahaa help That same day we went to hang out in our shared lobby and I was really cold at some point and I said so out loud so new guy friend, crush friend and new girl friend went, “Let’s warm her up!”

and they all went to sit/lie on top of me LOOOOL I started laughing so hard because on one hand I was being squished to death but it was also really warm and cozy. Crush friend had his nose buried in my neck, grinning like a little shit, new girl friend was sitting on my legs, and new guy friend was kinda half leaning/lying against me.

“Hey Jo... your knees are really pretty...” new girl friend randomly said and started tracing them with her nails. I was wearing shorts sooooo I yeah rip I flipped and burst out laughing. “Like, they’re not too prominent and shit... oooh and they’re sensitive, tooo...”

Crush friend casually wrapped his hand around my torso, fingers resting on my ribs, just letting them sit there but it was enough to make me jump and squeak more. He was still breathing/chuckling against my neck, which tickled as well, and I couldn’t fucking move because of all the weight so I was pretty much trapped, only able to kick my legs x’DDD

Afterwards we went to the ping pong table and played a little bit. I was putting up a fight as he was pretty good and he went, “Ugh, doesn’t she ever give up?” Girl friend, the fucking traitor, called out, “Just pull up your shirt! That’s her weak spot!”

“Ooooh?” THAT ASSHOLE SMACKED THE BALL TOWARDS ME AND THEN LIFTED UP HIS SHIRT A BIT AND I FUCKING BLUSHED AND LET THE BALL FLY PAST ME. “It worked! I gotta use that more often!” which he did. I hate him

There’s also this one part where him and me were waiting for girl friend to get ready and we were standing in her tiny hallway. We were goofing around a bit until he narrowed his eyes, pushed me against the wall and tickled my sides for a bit heeelpppp ad=asfiuasdjfksd I’m so weak for this nGH and he’s been hugging me from behind from time to time and ugh gOD this guy

and noooow for the drama part... Both of us were super tired and irritated bc one girl in our group that’s constantly annoying everyone, particularly him (they srsly hate each other’s guts) and he’s real homesick as I found out today so that was probably also a part of it, buuuut we had a small fight. In front of a few people, things got kinda out of hand and I left the scene to go to my room to cry my eyes out. Now that I think about it, this happens in every fucking shoujo whenever things go too well, I mean, we were being so overly touchy and flirty that something had to go wrong, right? x’)

I cried a lot bc I hadn’t cried this entire trip yet, really wanted to but didn’t have time/patience so I guess it was a combination of exhaustion, homesickness, shock from the fight, etc. Girl friend came over to calm me down and comfort me, and eventually left after inviting me over to go get breakfast the next morning. One tiiiiny problem: crush friend was gonna be there as well

“Isn’t that gonna be a problem?” I asked “Eeeeh, not sure? I guess we’ll see.”

BOIIIII it was awkward. The next morning I woke up with swollen eyes, like, I had literally cried so much that I couldn’t see straight and the three of us left to go get food. Girl friend was trying to play peacekeeper, making conversation and trying to get us to talk, but crush friend simply refused to even look at me, which resulted in me not looking at him. He even fucking walked around me and made sure not to get near me. After a good fucking 20 minutes, I ran out of patience and while girl friend was busy with her umbrella, I looked up at him with watery eyes and mumbled, “Dude, are you so mad at me that you’re gonna ignore me?”

And then he finally looked at me. He blinked, then looked away and sighed. “Not mad... just, irritated I guess.” I didn’t really know how to reply to that so we just looked at each other. My eyes were filling up with tears once again upon realizing that this was the only thing he was gonna say, so I nodded. “Okay.” and walked past him but then

I felt his two large hands on my shoulders, keeping me in place. I was really confused and sort of tried to move, but he wouldn’t let me. He was pushing me so gently that I didn’t know what he wanted from me until he turned me around, again super gently, and pulled me in for a hug. I hadn’t noticed that I was shaking yet because when I felt his chest against my face, I felt my hands trembling and the tears pricking in my eyes.

His hand was on the back of my head, holding me. We didn’t say anything and just stood there in the middle of the store. On one hand I felt like we were the only two people there but then again not? Idk, it was definitely something and he wasn’t about to pull back soon, until I mumbled, “Okay,” again and then he let go. The rest of our breakfast trip went pretty smoothly because, at last, we were talking again

On that same day I walked up to his room and we talked about it, he apologized, I apologized and he ended it by saying, “I’m glad you were the one to break the ice. I probs would’ve done so eventually, too, but it was you this time. Let’s just forget it happened, okay? I don’t wanna ruin this trip. Wanna go grab dinner together?”

And so we did. I noticed his change in behavior a bit as he was less touchy and more careful with me. I also noticed that he was being overly nice and quiet, which made me smile because this is probably his way of making it up to me.

AND THEN THERE’S TODAAAAAY. Once again we were hanging out in the shared lobby but this time with alcohol and oh boy I got tipsy. It doesn’t take much alcohol to get me drunk so I was tipsy after like 4 sips and already giggling uncontrollably. Everyone else laughed along with me, tickled me because they thought it was cute and playfully made fun of me

Crush friend was still keeping his distance and it was irritating me trololol I’m such an attention whoooore. The more I drank, the more I kept looking at his lips fuuuuu It was still a lot of fun though, holy shit, at some point everyone was pissing their pants from laughter and having a great time. We ran out of alcohol though, so crush friend suggested we get some more

I was preeeetttty tipsy at this point. Like, I couldn’t walk straight anymore and new tiny girl friend (she’s even smaller than me and I’m 5′4 LOL) was pretty much drunk. Crush friend had to throw me over his shoulder in order to get me to sit back on the couch without falling and it was pretty fun but also scary x’D And this was after he had to pick me up two times because I kept falling to the floor bc I was laughing so hard pffff

On our way to the convenience store, I had to make sure that new tiny girl friend didn’t bump into anyone or a pole for that matter, so we stuck together while she babbled about everything. Other new girl friend looked at me, smiled and asked, “Is it okay if I hug you? You’re so funny.” “omg yeeess, sureee!” I slurred and she laughed, hugging me close it was just... yes

And now... dun dun duuuun Crush friend, tiny new girl friend and I were waiting outside while everyone else got drinks and I kept saying that I already had too much to drink. I had lost at least 80% of my filter and was more daring and kinda drowsy --> alert alert alert

“naaah, you’re fine,” crush friend chuckled and I shook my head “Nooooo, I’m not. I shouldn’t get more drinks,” I said while I twirled a bit on the spot. He had taken a seat on a small bench and was looking at me with a semi scolding look. “Seriously.” “Why? You’ve been worse.” “No, cause I really wanna do this.” and fuck I walked over to him, held his face and kissed him real quick. I’m not sure if he turned his head or that I was simply so tipsy that I couldn’t coordinate, but I think I kissed the corner of his mouth, or like... half his lips???? xDD I felt them but not entirely, idk, it was stupid of me

I pulled back and immediately covered my face. “Crap. Sorry.” “What’re you apologizing for?” he said, totally confused “Ishouldn’thavedonethatIshouldn’thavedonethaaaaat,” I mumbled against my hands and looked back up at him, flustered

He tsk’ed, shook his head and patted the spot next to him. I hesitantly took a seat and he wrapped an arm around my waist, gently cupping it. “Idiot,” he whispered and stroked my side with his thumb, looking away

The rest of the night is kinda blurry but it was a lot of fun and holy shit this took me almost an hour to write

HELLOOOOOO sorry for this messy af post I’m still alive just all over the place godddddd

#personal #tickling #stories #crush friend #love y'all #pls forgive me

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