Seeing what presents my baby sister gets and realising I really drew the short straw by being the firstborn

I don’t see any Castlevania asks and that makes me sad as HELL

How would (Y/N) react to Lisa’s burning? How would Dracula’s war court react to her? And Hector and Isaac?

I'm gonna go down the platonic route and make reader Lisa and Dracula's daughter, biological or kidnapped/adopted.

Obviously, any normal human would not react well to anyone being burned at the stake- ALIVE. And maybe when the villagers caught Lisa, they caught you as well and thought you were a witch too. They burned your mother first and just when they had started to burn you, Dracula came and swooped you up and away, along with his now dead wife's remains and while you passed out due to inhaling all the smoke, sustaining some minor burn injuries and well- EXHAUSTION AND TRAUMA, your father returned to slay the entire village and later wreak havoc on all of humanity. Really, a justified reaction from a family man.

Anyways, he returns home with you in his arms and then nurses you back to health all while killing everyone outside. Now, he may still be soft to you but you are absolutely forbidden from leaving the castle. Like you cant even go outside even if Dracula accompanies you. No, he's lost his wife and if youre their bio kid who is more human than vampire unlike your older brother Alucard, then Dracula is way more protective of you. After all, he did see you almost die and really, you remind him far too much of his wife, of her humanity and her kind heart to help others that eventually got her killed.

Initially, right after Lisa's death, Dracula didn't even allow you to even leave your room, too paranoid about some unknown force killing you and him not being able to save you in time. Eventually though, with other vampires and monsters(under his control obv) in the castle, he let you out of your room, but still not out of the castle, and thats when you found out that he had thrown out Alucard and (sort of disowned him??) because your brother was not in favour of Dracula either killing the world or locking you up.

Now, like I said before, Dracula is still soft for you but with Lisa's death he's become a little... emotionally crippled. He has too much pain and hatred inside him, and he's doing his very best that you dont end up on the receiving end of these very negative and very dangerous emotions. However, he sometimes... loses control. When you keep on persisting about how all of this is wrong, about how he shouldnt kill ALL humans, how he shouldnt lock you up or break what remains of this family, he lets his anger out on you. Only a little. He'd yell at you, tell you that you're far too stupid an naive and stubborn to understand what he's doing or why, ask if you're going to side with those murderers that you so desperately want to save over your own family? Are you that blind? He'd drag you back to your room, lock you in there because he wont have you questioning him like he's the bad guy here.

But soon after that, he'd be found sitting in front of one of Lisa's portraits, probably one where she's cradling baby you and he'd start talking to her, trying to explain himself, how he did not mean to blow up at you but you just wouldn't listen to him. The one sided conversation would always end with Dracula feeling guilty and he returns to your room with a heavy heart that just sinks more when he sees you asleep, tear streaks now drying on your cheeks. Sitting on your bed, he'd pet your hair, mumble something about how he loves you and cant afford to risk losing you, smiling softly when you shuffle closer to him.

Since Dracula knows Hector is loyal and sincere to him, he will allow you to have him as your friend. After all, you would need some company in the castle and vampire dad on murder spree is not exactly someone who is ideal for friendship at the moment. So, he permits and even encourages Hector to socialise with you and comfort you. And Hector has a bleeding heart too, so you're in luck because he will happily listen to you express your emotions and provide you with free therapy (he makes dead, one missing limb/eye puppies alive for you🥺) He just wanna protect u too, and while he doesnt agree with you being locked up in the castle, its better than the alternative. Also, has and will fight Isaac 1000% if he talks shit about you because youre human.

As for the court, they know that you are now the only thing dear to Dracula, and while one wouldnt say that you have the vampire king wrapped around your finger, he comes pretty close to it. But its no use really because they cant exactly use you to make Dracula listen to them... or can they?

Considering that you're pretty against the whole "Vampire uprising-kill all humans" plan, they cant persuade you to enslave or kill humans. What they can do is gain Dracula's favour by being... kind to you? Okay take Carmilla for example (because she's the only one I can remember from the court. Her and the brash, red haired vamp?) Now she's smart, she's manipulative and she knows exactly how to use this opportunity. She starts to befriend you by first agreeing that she understands why you're against your father's actions but also tells you that you must understand his decisions from his side. "Your mother was a kind woman, a brilliant doctor and from what I've heard, your father loved her very much. And if you've ever been in love, then you would understand why he's doing all of this." And of course Dracula overhears this because come on, nothing happens in his castle without his knowledge. So yes, he shows slight favouritism towards Carmilla among the court and he may allow her to hang around you a bit (only after Carmilla convinced him that you needed a female friend in your life, and its always better to be in her company than any of those perverted men of his court) but even then, Dracula doesn't completely trust her around you and so he wont allow you two be in contact often.

Dracula would also be way more conscious of your feelings with time, because he will realise eventually that he was far too caught up in his own pain and plan for vengeance that he forgot to see how you were coping with the loss of your mother. If any of the vampires are heard saying something even remotely mean to you, if he even hears Isaac even breathing in disgust at the sight of you because you were part human, they will be swiftly dealt with (girl, he murders them all).

You're his baby, his sweet human kid, his little princess and he wont have anyone or anything taking you away from him. (LET HIM PULL YOU IN HIS LAP AND WRAP HIS CLOAK AROUND YOU AND DRIFT OFF IN HIS ARMS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY WARMTH LEFT FOR HIS COLD DEAD HEART OMGGGG)

Ah i miss Castlevania asks too, platonic yandere castlevania asks especially. everyone send in ur asks.

(omg what about yandere brother Trevor Belmont?)

OC ask game woohoo!!!

3, 20, 29, 30?

gooooodmorning!! back at it ^_^/

3. What inspired you to make a certain character?

honestly ? for th funy lc cast, itwas mostly just seeing other folks running around w their ocs :] iliked seeing peoples little beasts, so i wanted some little beasts to play too. thats how istarted making cocoa! she was supposed t just be a silly lil thang but uhhhhhhhhh . As One Does ^_^

20. Do any of your OCs have pets? What kind? NAME?

EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY heres yui again. he has a very totally normal rat named chestnut that was pawned off on given to him by a . fffriend ? yeah. 👍 ilu chestnut

29. Do any of your OCs have AU designs/stories?

a few, yeah!! aus are my favorite favorite thing t toss around in th whole world, so like uh uh well. They Keep Happening <33 like what if character lives? what if character makes a different decision? (though its kinda cheating bc i already cant decide what happens so everything is kinda quasi-canon till i get it together dfjgndk) theres one with rose and wolfe that is Killing Me To Death but i Still havent laid down the baseline so i CANT . SAY ANYTHING YET. orz though also theres one ive had in my pocket i hadnt found th chance to pull up yet, so ykno uh . ^_^ heehoo

Oops ! All Distortion. heres not!cocoa. nameless as of right now, partially bc i havent found something that fits, and partially because i think its funny (<- mean) anyway woe. tfw youre just trying t navigate being alive after experiencing ego death and everyone keeps trying to yank you in different directions and shape you into something else entirely when you can barely hold a shape on your own so you simply decide to become nothing at all. sad ! oh well, theres other uh. uhhhhh.. hm. this is kind of th Worst of what can come of cocoa and luci's whatever-the-hell. luci is completely convinced she understands cocoa's character and actively pushes the worst parts of them forward in the name of some sort of "self actualization," in response to their complete and total shutting off at. just about everything. unfortunately, she completely misreads what exactly that manifests As due to her preoccupation with her Own self actualization-- and instead of drawing forth any buried emotion or desire, all it really does is kinda... shut them down completely. their desire wasnt to lash out at anything, it was simply to get things to stop. and stop they did. theyre not much of anything anymore. nobody is happy with this.

30. Which OC has been the hardest to develop/design so far?

HIM.

hes really important to everything bc hes kind of. a catalyst, in a way, to The Bullshit. the issue is i know most of the What, its just the How and Why thats such an issue. also unfortunately, i started writing him before i started watching thru limbus, but once i did i realized hes kinda just like sinclair but to the left a little bit which. head in hands. Unfortunate; so its once again a balancing act of getting things together while tying threads and also Avoiding Making Character 2. which is Hard bc this is just!!!! what hes like!!! iknow i probably shouldnt worry abt it too much but this is like the fourth or fifth time ive accidentally just made Character But Again and i just. GRABS. SHAKES. UGH THE ISSUES.

Dave Strider, Kanaya Maryam

Page 108-111

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this

DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad

DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there

DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

KANAYA: Hello Dave

DAVE: sup

DAVE: am i buggin you

DAVE: do you want me to leave you to it or

KANAYA: Not Particularly Now That Youre Here

KANAYA: But Shouldnt You Be Asleep

DAVE: shouldnt you

KANAYA: I Need Less Sleep Than I Used To

KANAYA: Less Food Too Which Is Fortunate For The Rest Of You

DAVE: oh right

DAVE: i always forget about the vampire thing because youre already an alien

DAVE: and if somebody tried to sit me down and get me to watch a movie about a vampire alien id be like

DAVE: come on pick a genre

DAVE: except id watch it anyway because lets be honest the only person whod ever try to get me to watch something like that would be karkat

DAVE: and if he can get me to watch serendipity he can get me to watch anything

DAVE: but you get what im saying

KANAYA: Yes

DAVE: rose even told me

DAVE: shit

DAVE: sorry

KANAYA: Its Alright To Say Her Name

DAVE: i just dont want to remind you of that shit if i can avoid it

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else

KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her

KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

KANAYA: Well I See Space And The Corner Of My Shoe Right Now

KANAYA: But Her Too

KANAYA: Shes There In The Glint Of Fluorescence Shining Off The Shoe

KANAYA: And Shes Out There Somewhere In The Sea Of Stars

KANAYA: Which Just Reminds Me Of One Of The Nursery Stories Shed Reserved To Read To Young Broods Of Grubs Back Then

DAVE: oh huh

DAVE: i still kind of have a hard time picturing rose reading to kids

DAVE: maybe a dick thing to say but she doesnt seem like the type

KANAYA: I Understand

KANAYA: Its One Thing To Come Into The Responsibilities Of Adulthood Yourself

KANAYA: And Another To Dwell On Those You Were Once Close To Struggling With Similar Pressures

KANAYA: Growing Up So To Speak

KANAYA: Its Strange

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so what was the story

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost

DAVE: flower

DAVE: like a plant

KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave

DAVE: right

KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her

KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along

KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

KANAYA: The Story Comments On The Nature Of Friendship

KANAYA: And Of Course In Turn Love

KANAYA: How Once They Connect There Is No Distance Or Circumstance That Can Seperate Them

KANAYA: How The Worlds In Each Ones Mind Take On Contours Shaped By Their Memories Of The Other

KANAYA: Places And Moments And Orbiting Passersby Becoming More and More Entangled In The Context Of Their Mutual Affections

KANAYA: Such As With A Garden Calling To Mind An Engagement Once Declared There

KANAYA: Or Something To That Fucking Effect

DAVE: that seems kind of wack for a kids story

KANAYA: Its Possible I Am Projecting Slightly In This Specific Circumstances

KANAYA: It Was Just A Metaphor

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister

KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All

KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

KANAYA: Or Within My Personal Frame Of Reference At Least

KANAYA: And Made Them Her Own In Some Strange Way

KANAYA: So I Cant Help But See Her When I See It At All

KANAYA: Whether Its A Star Or a Lightbulb

KANAYA: They All Just Leave Her Burnt Into My Mind Like The Blazing Imprint Of An Afterimage

DAVE: i mean it sounds like you think its BECAUSE shes a god like shes wielding some kind of cosmic power over you

DAVE: but if it was really true love or w/e

DAVE: would you even know the difference

KANAYA: Hmm

KANAYA: I Guess I Wouldnt

DAVE: would you want to for that matter like isnt feeling that strongly connected kind of how youd want it to be anyway

DAVE: i think its how id want it at least

DAVE: can i sit down

KANAYA: Of Course

KANAYA: Its Not My Observation Deck

DAVE: cool

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell

DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

DAVE: kinda worried about you sis

KANAYA: You Dont Have To Call Me That Anymore

KANAYA: In Fact I Wish You Wouldnt

KANAYA: It Really Hasnt Ever Been Accurate

DAVE: yeah well im pretty sure rose didnt serve you divorce papers before she left on her fucked up father/daughter rp

DAVE: so youre still my sister

DAVE: i mean you could always decide to divorce her yourself but i doubt youre going to find a lawyer in space

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

DAVE: but yeah this whole situation blows

KANAYA: You And Karkat Didnt Have To Come With Me

KANAYA: I Know You Have Your Own Lives And Your Own Matespritship

DAVE: no offense dude but yeah we did

DAVE: i wasnt going to let the only family i have left fly off without me

KANAYA: Roxy Didnt Have To Come Either

DAVE: debatable

DAVE: also i dont just mean roxy did you not just hear my heartwarming insistence that i think of you as my sister

DAVE: and yeah roxy is rad but our relationship is pretty fucking convoluted if were being totally honest

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

hl1/2 gordon scentric hc time

im rly feeling half life in this chillis tonight so....some....hc’s about everyones favourite free man, i have a lot so enjoy

-he’s actually mute and uses sign language but only about 50% of the time cuz people either don’t know what he’s saying or he can’t do it whilst holding like 20 different guns/weapons to protect himself so instead he makes big gestures a lot or writes down what hes trying to say (pretty much everyone at black mesa could understand him via sign language so he was very comfortable using it, during hl2 however he has to keep reminding himself not everyone is fluent and it frustrates him to no end)

-when he tries to speak it hurts and the most sound he can make is mumbles or little sqeaks so if theres ever a time he needs to alert someone to dangers reeeal quick he ends up hurting his throat a lot to try and make some kind of warning noise thats loud enough, he can hum tho and enjoys humming along to music as well as when he’s signing to try and convey some kind of emotion along with his facial features of which he emotes a LOT

-his hand writing looks like that of an actual dotors and its neat cursive but very hard to read so if he’s trying to write as a form of communication he just defaults to caps with big spaces inbetween and people (barney) tease him about it constantly (barney)

- hes incredibly short sighted without his glasses and ends up squinting a lot without them on and since he’s usualy default bitch facing he just looks very angry all the time when really he just cant see anything please dont be offended sir he didnt mean to upset you

-is actually very scared all the time abt like everything, hes literally just a scientist who just happened to be “the right man in the wrong place” and was just so determined to try and save those around him during the cascade that he pushed thorough his fears and anxiety to try and get the job done but he def has some form of ptsd after it all, barnicles specifically really freak him out because getting strangled and slowly lifted off of the ground into a row of razor sharp teeth is fucking TERRIFYING and he wouldnt wish it on anyone

-only reason he knows how to use guns is because barney would regularly take him down to the shooting range during their breaks and they’d see who could shoot straightest after a few drinks, barney would always win.

-after hl1 when he was put into stasis and he wakes up in hl2 hes lost like 20 years of his life and hates that fact terribly, all his friends have aged around him but hes still in his 20′s when he shouldnt be and he hates it so fucking much

-he also finds himself missing the feeling of the HEV suit terribly during the begining of his re-awakening in city 17, he’d grown so used to the feeling of it on him and keeping him safe that it makes him anxious without it and the cold air on his hands is also uncomfortable so he prefers wearing gloves all the time, when he finally gets the HEV suit back it feels like a weight has been lifted and he can finally stop worrying, the suits voice is also a comforting sound beccause its familiar and a sign that he’s not alone, same goes with the healing station and suit charging noises; they’re a comforting sound to hear and he enjoys humming along to the vrwwwrrrr vrrwwrrr vrwrrrrwr the machine makes when he plugs into the port

-he worries about overdosing on the healing stations a lot though; the morphone they give out is indefinite and once during the casade he’d passed out from taking to much and woken up to a zombie very slowly approaching him from down a corridoor but with how drowzy he was it was it was a horrible struggle to lift the gun and fire between dozing in and out

-he gets attached to people quickly since also during the cascade days he’d regularly meet people in danger who only had him to keep them safe so he tries his absolute hardest to make sure he can protect people even if that means he gets shot in the process, the suit usually protects him/heals him anyway so he’s used to it and if theres danger he almost default/automatically moves infront of people to make sure they’re okay without any concern for his own safety

-he also reeeally likes antlions and will pet them any chance he gets, he tried to do it when he first saw them and almost lost a hand so it makes him upset he has to kill them but when he finally gets the bug bite from the vorts? ohhhhohohoh he pets so many antlions, it again makes him sad he has to use them as like fodder for turrets and stuff but if an antlion comes back to him after taking down a turret or killing a combine he gives them extra pets and becomes a very proud papa

-since hes technically in his 30′s (and would be nearing his 40′s had he not been in stasis) he feels more of a big brother/fatherly bond toward Alyx since he’d also met her as a baby and finds any romantic involvement with her awkward, (so Elli’s comment on him “wanting grandkids” he ends up slapping the man on the arm with a frown to which Eli just laughs) this doesn’t help his attachment issue though so when they have to seperate to do things away from the other he worries for her safety even though she constantly assures him she can take care of herself and he KNOWS she can. he still really can’t help but worry though...

after hl2 ep2:

-when eli dies i dont like to think they all straight away go to mossman and instead get to spend some time mourning at the base, this gives gordon some time to finally sit down and relax for a little bit but he finds it incredibly hard to even take off the HEV suit at first because to him there was no passage of time between being put into stasis and waking up in city 17 all those years later; he’d closed his eyes, went into the portal and then the next second awakened in a completely unfamiliar place, in unfamiliar clothes with unfamiliar people (he definitely had a panic attack before geting off that very first train) and the thought of that happening again when he’s not prepared is terrifying.

-when he does finally take off the suit (after a lot of helping and reasuring from alyx, kleiner and barney a LOT from barney; theyre very good friends (;) he takes to wearing very comfy and heavy clothes such as jumpers, ponchos etc as well as a bullet proof vest because it makes him feel safe, the HEV suit gloves he retires entirely cuz theyre gross, definitely covered in his own blood and have been through hell so instead he has a bunch of different pairs he cycles through depending on how he feels that people around the base give him after learning about his fondness towards them

-he secretly carries a gun around with him even when they’re not in any danger becaus it’s another added layer of security and becaus he literally can’t trust things to not go bad EVER; now though nothing will go wrong again on his watch because he’ll be ready for it!! this really doesn’t help with his nerves though since he’s constantly looking for something to go wrong

scene specific hc’s:

-i always think abt that one specific sene in the train that gets derailed where alyx is trapped by a stalker and gordon has to pull it away with his gravity gun and i always imagine him franticly pulling it away with so much alarm on his face and such panic, when shes free though and has to stop to catch her breath gordon would give her a hug and make sure she’s okay cuz it must have been terrifying to have that thing screaming inches from ur face, gordon just instantly  goes into protect mode

-another scene that always comes to mind is when you first encounter an advisor and it makes that horrid loud noise where alyx is holding her head; i imagine gordon almost dropping the gravity gun in a panic to try and cover his ears because he doesn’t handle loud noises too well and it freaks him out so much alyx has to help him get out of the room since he kind of locks up on hearing it

-same goes when you get trapped by an advisor in a barn and almost become food for it; gordon is absolutely terrified at getting so up and close without being able to move that when it finally does drop him he starts hyperventilating and alyx has to protect him from the oncoming combine for a little while before he can catch his breath

-last scenes but some of my favorites are the ENTIRE sections of gordon being up close with breen, 

first being the teleporter malfunctioning and when gordons heavy breathing i imagine hes trying super hard not to start freaking out/hyperventilating and when breens doing his “i want that twink obliterated” spiel and then looks up and says his name, gordon almost looses it and internally is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

second is when youre trapped in that like...metal contraption thing the stalkers are carried in and brought to breens officce and that entire section where breen is talking directly TO YOU i just adore it becausee gordon would have been looking away awkwardly unable to actually respond and furrowing his eyebrows at the nerve breen has upon thinking you would ever agree to any such terms and would definitely also spit in breens face as a response just like alyx did since he can’t use words

okay that is all, if you read all of these you’re amazing and i love u and also gordon hes an amazing “character” because i can insert as many of my own quirks into him as i please because valve literally never gave him a personallity :^)

Chat thibg

Grey I think he’s also uncomfortable because in this episode it shows Jo with black eyes.  And now he’s going to go drink like he hasnt in a while. Gray’s always happy when Grey’s upset

Grey And there’s those eyes

Jo Hiya demon!Jo!   ….The real question is has he actually seen Abandon All Hope before in its full LOL  …he really hasnt gone and had a drink in a while has he. Oh dear. LOOOOOL That’s very very true

Grey Yes.  >_> He doesnt like it.  At all. No he hasnt, not for a while.

Jo …Its a sad moment when its one of Jo’s favourites because she’s proud of herself right up until Ellen stays and she dies before she can do her duty… But yeah makes sense he doesnt like it.  ….The poor thing. You shouldnt have let me be mean!

Grey Grey hates the episode from start to finish and really really dislikes Sam and Dean during it.  And Cas. He deserved it, he’s starting his punishment early

Jo ….what on…get him to explain that because what….    LOL Well…glad to help then? *pets him and points him towards Jo’s stash*

Grey Because Sam and Dean drag Jo along in his opinion then Dean is the reason she gets hurt and it was their plan.  As far as Cas it’s because had he not “gotten himself trapped like a stupid shit” he’d have been able to heal her and take her and Ellen out of there when it got bad.  Oh no he knows not to touch her stuff, he’ll get his own

Grey And by drag Jo along he doesnt mean against her will

Grey He means like she gets caught up in their wake of self destruction and bad luck

Jo Jo would hiss at the idea of someone saying she gets caught up in other people’s things and she didn’t go because she wanted to. But I guess that makes sense. *gives him a chocoate for adding ‘and Ellen’*  He;s more than welcome to it, not like she’d notice/not just think she had it without realsing

Grey Grey knows she wanted to go but he also knows if the Winchesters had never crossed paths with her she’d have never gone on that suicide mission. He added Ellen because he knows Jo would have gone no where without her mom.  …. How much does Jo drink that her entire stash could be gone without her realizing she drank it?

Jo He should know that if she had never crossed paths with them she’d either have been a depressed little bar maid or gotten herself killed on her first hunt.  True true. ….well she’d notice the entire stash gone, but she’s got a lot of the same stuff or rather she’s got a lot of whiskey, scotch, rum and vodka and never knows how much she has of what and wouldn’t be surprised to find a fair few

Jo empty ones because she only tends to go restock when she’s out of everything

Grey That’s true but during AAH, Grey really doesnt care about anything but the fact the “Winchester Curse” is getting Jo killed just because she’s around them.  Grey would empty out her stash as he is right now

Jo …Well now Jo’s just pouting because eavesdroppers never here things they want to blondie!  Well best he not touch hers then

Grey LOL why is she pouting?

Jo Because… …she was really proud of herself uring that time. Like really /really/ proud of herself. …If Ellen had just unlocked the doors, given her the fuse and ran, Jo would have actually died happy that time. Because she was doing what she was supposed to do, what she’d always wanted to do, ever since she was a little girl and she was finally getting to do it and be treated like a mature

Jo adult and so she was really happy, honestly. The only thing that made her unhappy was that she was too useless to be able to do it herself fully.

Jo (Which meant Ellen died which she didn’t want at all)

Grey She always wanted to die for a cause?

Jo …she wanted to be a hero like her dad.

Jo She wanted to be treated like an equal and an adult and die saving people like her dad di.

Jo Die fighting too..

Grey That’s horrible

Jo You thought it wouldn’t be? This is Jo we’re talking about.

Grey Not the treated like the equal part the fact she’s always wanted to die for something

Grey See this is why Grey panicked

Jo *nodnod*

Grey She was all set to do it again

Jo Jo… wants to be like her dad, she wants him to be proud of her. That’s pretty much the one thing that almost everything can eventually be drawn back to by playing the ‘why’ game.

Jo *nodnod* Course she was.

Grey Now Grey is /pissed/ and having a fit

Jo LOL …whats he pissed and having a fit at?

Grey He cant stand the martyring

Grey Grey doesnt think dying makes you a hero if you go around seeking death he thinks it makes you stupid

Grey And selfish and a lot of other unpleasant adjectives he’s loudly yelling

Grey (remember that was one of the problems he had with Anna?  How she was all holier than thou about her being willing to get herself killed for anyone and everyone)

Jo Jo would like to clarify she’s not /seeking/ death and never has been trying to /die/; just… be something that she can be proud of in herself and that she thinks her dad would be proud of - its not about thinking the dying makes a hero but the motivations and the reasons behind whatever actions you make, whether you do die or not. She just wasn’t afraid of the dying. And now she’s pouting and

Jo sulking even more.   (Thats very true - though the difference is that Anna is holier than thou about it and preachy over it, while Jo is just 'if I die, I die; what matters is X’ where X isn’t 'that you wont’)

Grey Grey’s saying she’s fooling herself by saying she doesn’t go out seeking death, that all hunters do one way or another and if she really wants to do her dad’s memory justice she won’t keep throwing her life away like it’s nothing.  (Yeah but it’s still reminding Grey of the unpleasantness he had with her)

Grey Grey honey it’s kind of pointless to argue with her about this when you’ve already temporarily dampened the part you dont like

Jo Jo’s saying that if that’s his opinion than she should just stay at home and /do/ nothing; that he knows her better than to think she /wants/ to die given he knows where she /thinks/ she’s going and that he 'doesn’t understand!’ and getting huffy.  (True true. Poor Grey) It really kind of is, but… and thats cool

Grey He says doesnt want her to do nothing, he wants her to not take chances and not go running headfirst into dying.  And he says no he doesnt understand and he won’t ever understand how she thinks that it could ever be fine to die if she thinks she’s headed downstairs.  I’m still sorry about that, something started glitching and it was not beeping me or doing any sounds.

Grey (And the first song I get to hear after fixing sound is Heavy in Your Arms nice one playlist)

Jo She’s saying that she’s not and not going to, that he’s made himself perfectly clear in past and she’s not going to be so 'to use his word - stupid!’; And that that isn’t what he doesn’t understand.         (That’s cool hun, honest *hugs* dammit playlist)

Grey Grey’s asking then what is she talking about because there’s a lot of things he doesn’t understand about Jo and while he loves some of those things he really doesnt know what to do with the other ones.  (*hugs* Appropriate time to play it though)

Jo She’s saying that he doesn’t understand about family, the way it is with human’s - or at least not the way it is to her and that he might think he does, but he doesn’t get it and he doesn’t understand or otherwise he wouldn’t think that she’s throwing her life away trying to be something for her dad. And that she’s sorry if that was snippy but..  (It really really was.)

Grey He’s saying he doesnt think her dad would have wanted her to get hurt for him if her mother’s attitude is anything to go by about how family is treated.  But she’s right and he doesn’t understand about family or people because he’s not either. (*Trying to shush Grey because he’s putting his foot in it* this is why you do not just drink and drink silly monster*)

Jo Jo says that he didn’t know her dad and she’s a great deal more like him that her mom. That her mom never liked her dad hunting the same as she’s never liked Jo doing it, and that she’s not /trying/ to get hurt or die or whatever else for him - she’s trying to do what she thinks he would have done from what she remembers him of being like. And that it’s okay that he doesn’t understand and it

Jo 'doesn’t really matter much really’.  (Oh Grey, you silly little thing you.)

Grey Grey’s saying if her dad was a person who wanted her to go out and get hurt for his sake or the sake of pride he wouldnt have liked him. (Meanwhile Gray is watching with great interest)

Jo She’s huffing and saying that that wasn’t the kind of person her dad was either! That her dad was strong and brave and treated people right and he wanted her to be safe and able to protect herself and other’s. And that’s what she’s doing, protecting herself and other people who can’t protect themselves.  (LOL Why so? What’s he interested in mostly of what is thinging?)

Grey Grey moving into a silence and having some more drinks.  (He thinks there’s an explosion immenient somewhere in here and that sooner or later Grey or Jo is going to trip the switch and he’s going to get to see fireworks)

Jo Jo’s huffing again and muttering that he would have liked him.  (Of course he does…Whose he putting money on triping it?)

Grey Grey’s saying her dad never would have liked him because he’s a monster and he’s with his little girl.  "That’s like two big no no. First no no is touching his daughter and then second is being something he’d hunt in the dark.“ (Grey.  he thinks Grey is going to say something stupid.)

Jo Jo’s shaking her head and saying that she meant /Grey/ would have liked him. “Might have been his little girl but I was his only one and he only ever wanted me to be happy, whatever that meant - hunting, baking, riding on his knee and driving the wheel..”  (LOL …I never know with these two)

Grey Grey’s saying saying it would have been a mutual dislike because her dad probably would have shot him.  And he doesnt mind getting shot over Jo but it’s hard not to take it hard when that happens. (Grey is getting to where he’s noticably being effected by the alcohol now)

Jo Jo is making a hand for his bottle and saying that if he thinks someone like her’s something that he 'doesnt mind’ being shot over then he’s in no position to comment over what she’s willing to get hurt over or was willing to. “Whichever.”  (This should be an amusement)

Grey Grey’s shaking his head and saying getting shot isnt going to mortally wound him, usually and that it’s unpleasant but not anything he can’t fix quick.  Jo can’t just mend bones if she hurt herself. And he’s moving so the bottle is furher out of her reach/sight. (Stupid thing)

Jo She’s saying she damned well can, it just takes her a little longer than the 'rest’ of them, and that she used to have a /lot/ more scars than she has now that she’d be able to completely prove it to him that she can 'recover’ eventually, mostly. And that doesn’t change the fact he’s seemingly dumb enough to wear himself out over her, so her point still remains, and that he should maybe put the

Jo bottle down.

Grey Grey says she can’t have his bottle because it’s his.  And that maybe he was a little self-destructive there, so that’s exactly his point those kind of things are problematic for everyone.  And he’s sorry for being stupid.

Jo Jo’s saying shes not asking for his bottle just that he should put it down for a bit; that that was stupider than any of her own old habits and that the closest she’d gotten any time recently to anything quite that stupid was… not anything anywhere near that crazy. And how she doesn’t understand it’s alright for him to do something like that, yet he hates the idea that she’s slightly sacrificial

Grey Grey says it’s not alright, it was dumb and he knows it and he doesnt want Jo making the same error.

Jo She says that that just because someone wants something doesn’t mean it’s going to happen and snapping her fingers for the bottle.

Grey Grey’s mumbling he doesnt get why Jo doesnt want him to want her to be safe and that noooooo she can’t have it

Jo Jo is huffing that it’s not hi-… that he can want that all he wants but it doesn’t mean he’d get it the way he wanted it if he got it at all. And that he’s to hand it over or she’ll take it from him and drink whatever is left of it.

Grey Grey says fine take it, he’ll just get more

Grey You need bed Jesse

Jo Jo’s grumbling and setting it away from him regardless. She’s also muttering something about people drinking alone

Jo I’, good, its a Friday and tomorrow I dont have to get upa t all

Grey Grey’s got another full bottle and says he’s never alone while he’s in a meatsuit. (WAY TO BE CREEPY GREY)

Grey Are you sure?

Jo She’s pouting. A lot. A lot a lot a lot. And that she doesn’t want to think about that… she doesn’t have a word for Jack. (LOL CREEP FACTOR LEVEL MAXIMUM)

Jo wow, that was a misplace hands too far to the right, I’m sure - no work, no uni, no picking people up. Sleep in day.

Grey “But see I can never drink alone.  And asshole is the word you’re looking for.” (How creeped out does that make Jo?) Okay just tell me when you get sleepy and I will put this drunk monster to bed

Jo “Unless you’re talking to him while you’re drinking, it’s still alone.  I don’t even think that quite… just… He’s more loathesome than your brother, Grey! And put that… put that away.”  (A fair bit if only because she doesnt like Jack and she is often quite worried about what he must say and think and annoy Grey with)  No problemo c:

Grey “We can talk in here, I just don’t like to.  It’s not like he does anything but curse me for hijacking him.  You want me to call him a monster? Why?” (Of course she doesnt.  And yeah usually Grey ignores him unless it’s something about Jo then he walls him off)

Jo “Yeah well, it’s better for everyone that he’s in there the fuckin’ ..nrgh! I liked it better when you were being insensetive about my dad than talking about that ….that despicable excuse for a human being. He is a monster, of his own damn makin’. And because!”  (*nodnod* I’m guessing 75% bitching at grey 15% bitching about Jo and 10% other cruel remarks?)

Grey “I was being insensitive?  I’m sorry. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, which is why he’ll never get his life back. Because why?” (Yep.  Accurate breakdown)

Jo “You’re drinking, you get /some/ leway.. Though you’re going to have to learn that my dad’s one of those things you don’t understand you’re either gonna have to love or just not try to work out what to do 'bout.  …sound about right. Fine! You drink away then!”

Grey “I’m not loving anything that gets you blown up.  Are you mad?” (He turns into an annoying four year old when he’s drunk with the questions)

Jo “Technically I was dead before then, it was mom who died in the explosion..  I’m not mad.” (LOL he does. It’s cute in a 'oh god here we go’ way)

Grey “…. Okay I’m not loving anything that gets you mauled by a hellhound and gets your mom blown up.  Really?”

Jo “I thought you…nevermind.  Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind.”

Grey “Thought I what?  Tell meeeeeeee”

Jo “I said nevermind, not important. ….god you’re ridiculous when you’re drunk.”

Grey “No tell me.  Pleeeeeeeeeeease.”

Jo “I thought you.. Well, I was what got me mauled by a hellhound and got my mom blown up, so I thought.. it’s unimportant. And I’m not mad, and you’re still ridiculous.”

Grey “No that’s not… I mean the impulse not you.  I still love you just not the part of you that wants to get you hurt and thinks you’re not worth anything.”

Jo “It wasn’t an impulse…it was the right thing to do…”  (I love how awkward Jo just completely got)

Grey “Nothing that hurts you like that could have been the right thing to do.  What’s the matter?” (Because of the “I love you”?)

Jo “…you don’t know what could have happened if that hadn’t occured though, Grey. …who knows what would have happened, I heard from Dean what he saw the future to look like and he hadn’t heard any news of what happened to /me/ in that world…  Nothing’s the matter.” (Yeah, though she got awkward a little bit the second she said 'I thought you..’ because she knew where her brain was going and

Jo made her slightly awkward then a little more awkward until the “I still lvoe you” really hit the top point thus far)

Grey “But how can something that hurts you be the right thing?  Okay.” (Did she really think he didn’t love her?)

Jo “Because I’m just one person…the right thing doesn’t always benefit the person doin’ it, you have to weigh one person’s life against the future of mankind…and in that? I don’t think I’d come out on top.” (No, but she was half joking and then realised she was serious and then realised what she was saying.)

Grey “You would if I was making the choice.” (She can comfort herself with the fact he loves her.  He doesnt understand her sometimes and he gets frustrated but he loves her, also drunk Grey is painfully honest)

Jo “Grey!” (She’s more just gaping at him not quite sure how to feel about the idea he’d pu her above the future of the whole of mankind.  But that’s slightly comforting, that even if she frustrates him and he doesnt understand her all the time he does anyway)

Grey “I know, I’m terrible and evil and a monster for saying it.  Not a good guy.” (*nods* Understandably. Yeah even when he’s spitting mad at her he loves her)

Jo “I..don’t think you would. And I don’t think you’re any of that. Just.. I didn’t expect..” (She’s just blinking at him and if he didn’t smell like a gin joint and wasn’t acting so weird she’d kiss him for it even if it is not what she wants to hear.  LOL True true. ….he ever get the same 'sometimes I want to choke you’ feelings about Jo that everyone else gets?)

Grey “I would pick you though.  I know me, there’s a reason I’m a monster.  I would pick your safety over an earthful of strangers.”  (Awwww. He wants to cuddly but realizes she doesnt want to be close to him because of the smell so he hasnt moved to.  Not exactly. I mean he does, just not for the same reason Anna does)

Jo “But…you like people, you don’t want to be a monster, you want to do the good thing, the right thing..right? So you wouldn’t. Even if.” (Ah, she’ll move in a second to cuddle so long as he doesnt screw up and upset her.  Yeah everyone gets it for different reasons.)

Grey “I do, I mean I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t try to hurt someone on purpose.  But I’m still not good. I’ll always be a monster. I would pick you.” (Incoming screw up probably.  And he’s getting so sad right now because now he thinks he is evil and it’s making him look like a sad puppy)

Jo “You’re good to me… Even if you say you’d pick me, even though you know I wouldn’t want you to. Stop sayin’ that you’re not good, Grey, there’s no reason to look like that..” (Yellow alert, yellow alert.. )

Grey “I just want you to be safe and happy.  That’s all.” (At least he’s not guzzling booze anymore just kind of toying with the bottle)

Jo “Do I look unhappy or unsafe..? …… *Jo snatches his bottle away setting it away before settling across and ontop of him* ..There, now do I look anything but what you want?” (Well, there goes his booze away in exchange for a lap and armfuls of female. …she’s clever. very clever Jo..)

Grey “No.” *Grey bites his lip putting his arms around her and burying his head against her shoulder* “But how do I keep you this way without doing something wrong?” (His heart is breaking)

Jo *Pulling her hair to the side and curling into him, she rests he head against his, smiling* “Forty-two..” (Poor thing..)

Grey *Grey stays there with her in his arms, wondering how much she’ll hate him when she finds out what he did to her*

Break time...

Teleporting to another timeline was… disorientating at most. While everything looked familiar where Aaron’s feet took her, it just felt weird. Teleporting past guards. Seeing the sky. This place just felt so wrong. But she told herself that it’s fine. She made it to the princess’ room and stood in front of it feeling some type of dread heavy in her chest. Rubbing her face and covering her eyes, she was about to knock. Fate opened the door waving bye to the princess. He stop and sees Aaron. Aaron peaked through her fingers and waved sheepishly. Fate narrowed his eyes but greeted her friendly with his goofy-skeleton grin. Aaron just nodded and looked over at Frisk who was already looking her way. A silence fell before Fate coughed and said he’ll wait outside for Frisk.

Aaron stepped in and closed the door behind Fate, just looking at Frisk. It was odd. Aaron bowed out of habit, greeting the princess formally. Frisk got up, ran over to her, and hugged her tightly greeting her with a wavering voice. Aaron took the embrace and smiles slightly. The two pull apart, find smiles making their way into the ladies faces but that sinking feeling was starting to happen. Frisk gestured to her bed and Aaron shook her head on her bum too much, even she’s kinda sick in staying in one place. Frisk sat down on the bed toying with the blanket that was nicely covering the bed. She expected for Aaron to tell her what’s on her mind. She had all the lies and half truths to tell the female soldier but just had to wait it out.

The girl in green walked outside to the balcony and stared outside for a moment sighing softly not sure how to phrase all the questions in her head. “What did you do?” The female soldier said slowly, testing the words. Of course, Frisk knew a thing or two about Aaron when it comes to RESET. She would’ve known Aaron would remember, otherwise why would she come to her room or her timeline in the first place? Frisk stayed still and answered calmly. “I’m not sure what you mean,” Frisk said softly trying to get the soldier to avoid telling her. She looking at her hands as she was twiddling with her thumbs.

Aaron turned around looking away from the forest view and looked at the Frisk as her smile disappeared. “You didn’t tell me this would happen. You said it would be alright,” The princess felt a sharp guilt as Aaron made that statement. She did tell her everything will be alright. She did tell her everything will be fine. Nothing wrong is going to happen. She lied… everything is not going to be fine. But Reset was the only way to fix things… It’s something that can do something that no human nor monster can do. It was no use telling Aaron more lies. Frisk swallowed quietly and took a deep breath. “Sacrifices have to happen, you wanted your brother back and it you looked as if you were about to bury yourself under all the guilt”

“Did you reset here? Where’s Cyrus?” Aaron shot back, her hand balling into a fist. Frisk didn’t respond. She can’t let her know Cyrus ran away. After reading his letter, explaining how a coward he was and that he was scared to keep up his task, it broken Frisk’s heart hearing how hurt her dear brother is dealing.

“Tell me what did you do?” she took a step forward almost threateningly, “Tell me why you had to do it” Why? Why did she kill blank!Frisk? Why did she have their world start everything over? Will Aaron understand?

“No one’s happy when our timelines are involved together, Aaron. I think it’s best we keep separate,” Frisk said slowly and steadily. “You were happy with Asriel. Why didn’t you come back?” Aaron was starting to get irritated. The vague wording isn’t helping.

“Sacri-”

“Stop!” Aaron snapped, “Where is Cyrus?” Aaron was standing in front of Frisk. Frisk kept her head down staring at her own hands. “Please.” she said softly, “Tell me where he is… I have to know” her voice was pleading worried. To Aaron, Cyrus was like another little brother, another person she considers as a family. A silence hung over the two for a few moments. “Frisk tell me where he is!” Aaron snapped.

“I DON’T KNOW!” Frisk stood with a mix of anger and sadness expression. Her gaze was leveled with Aaron’s but she could not stand stone faced like the one before her, “I didn’t reset! I don’t know where my brother is! But I will not stay guilt knowing you are suffering the same as I,”

Aaron just stared at Frisk, “Why didn’t you reset?”. Frisk turned away from Aaron and faced the wall instead. “Because Cyrus might die if I do. I don’t know if you remember this, but his soul changes every time I reset...and he’s personality is changing along with it. His soul is complex like yours, Aaron, and I’m afraid this reset will do more harm than good to him. I don’t want to be the reason what’s changing him...”

Aaron gripped her own arm tightly. She felt her anger was building up but she kept herself calm. She counted in her head and sighed softly, “Have you at least been trying to search for him while I’ve been gone?” Frisk glanced to the side, “I’ve tried Aaron, really I have…. But Sans believes I shouldn’t personally seek him out”

“I’ll go look for him then. The skeleton won’t stop me from doing anything,” Aaron argued. Frisk looked at Aaron. She’s going to go find Cyrus? With who? Herself? She can’t...“You shouldn’t! You might get injured out there Aaron! There are things out there you don’t know. This is different from your place. This isn’t your problem, it is mine! Your life doesn’t belong in this timeline. You’re free at home, isn't that what you wanted? To see the real stars with your brother?”

“....He wanted to see it with his best friend also…” Aaron said quietly and narrowed her eyes sighing. “I don’t want to lie to Adrian anymore.... He remembers Cyrus, kinda, and it’s really sad watching him struggle,”

Frisk opened her eyes in surprise, ”Adrian remembers... Cyrus?” Aaron just nodded and rubs her face. Frisk gripped her hands to her chest. “Are you going to tell him...?”. There was silence, all Aaron could respond was cover her face with her hand. ”What am I going to do…” She was already tired. How did this all go this way…? Frisk hugged Aaron tightly, ”We’ll find him… I want to find him so badly as well, Aaron...” Aaron glanced at Frisk before wrapping her arms around her gently and pets her head like she would do to comfort Adrian.

“I promise, I’ll find him for you, Frisk. Even if I have to search this entire planet for him…”

Frisk’s eyes was shaking trying not cry. She hid her face on her shoulder hugging her tighter. She didn’t want Aaron to sacrifice her life to find Cyrus. What if she never came back? It was dangerous out there as Sans mentioned. We don’t know what’s out there. Although, she could always kill her other self again to reset...however, to be honest, she rather not. Killing Blank!Frisk had her sick to her stomach. It was like killing herself, yet she was the one to judge her own wrong actions. She really does want her brother back home safely, so she can have the courage to face him again, but she doesn’t want to let go of Aaron. To her, Aaron was like a mother. Frisk knows about her parents death and she misses her parents very much. Aaron was the only person she felt close to, like she could tell everything. Frisk closed her eyes and in her thought, the only word she could think of while holding onto the light of hope in her soul, wishing everything would be alright, was:  

“please…”  

written by @dragonlover1128 

[Previous] [First] [End] [Alternative]

TBC: Where is he?

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

9. “I regret ever meeting you.”

Feat. Bucky and Steve (warning for the sad)

“I regret ever meeting you!”

Steve flinched back, shocked at the words, and stared for a moment. James was frustrated, and he knew he really shouldn’t take it out on Steve, but...

“Buck-”

“I’d never have gotten into this… this… mess . I’d never have lost my arm, I’d never have been with… with them… and I… I…” He whirled around and shouted in frustration, driving his metal fist through the wall. “I hate being here! I hate what they did! I hate that I had to go off to war, and I hate that that stupid fall didn’t kill me off.” His breaths were ragged. “I hate that you didn’t catch me,” he hissed. “I hate that I can’t remember things before that.” He ripped his hand back out from the broken plaster. “I hate being around you, all hopeful that I’ll remember you. But I won’t . I can’t . So why don’t you just give up already?”

James’ chest heaved and he turned around, half expecting Steve to be gone. But he was still standing there, frozen. He looked away when James met his eyes, and James could see how deep and measured his breaths were. He could see the redness starting to creep around the corners of Steve’s eyes, and his stomach dropped. Oh. Oh, no. But Steve started to nod, backing away.

“Okay.” His voice was low and quiet, and he turned, leaving the room. James’ advanced hearing was the only reason he heard Steve’s mumbled, “I’ll let Natasha know she needs to help you finish.”

James watched Steve go, unable to follow him. Steve had been incredibly patient with him throughout all of his reintroduction to the modern world. Natasha helped him with histories and learning about the new politics. Steve taught him about pop culture and tried to help him remember things about his own past. James tried his best to remember, because, for some reason, it made his stomach flip whenever Steve’s eyes lit up, happy that he had remembered, even if he still couldn’t remember their supposed life together in Brooklyn. He knew that sometimes he got temperamental, angry that he couldn’t do something as simple as remember things about himself. But Steve had never let it get to him — at least, in front of James.

Natasha eventually walked in, and helped him calm down, eventually getting him to sit, cross-legged on the floor.

“I screwed up,” he muttered, holding his head in his hands.

Natasha just shook her head, rubbing his back gently. “It’s okay, James. This is part of your process. You’re allowed to be angry.”

“But Steve… He’s just trying-”

“He knows what he’s getting into by helping you. He knows that this is something that can happen, and that may happen again.”

James was silent for a few moments, just thinking. “I told him he should stop trying.” She raised an eyebrow for him to continue. He swallowed, “He just… he said, ‘Okay’. And then he backed out… he was crying…”

She frowned and her hand stopped for a moment. His breath stuttered at that. She shook her head and gave him a small hug.

“Do you really want him to stop?”

James shook his head, “No… No he’s… I like it when he’s around, he… he knows. He knows about me and it’s just easier to believe that maybe I was… good once.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then cupped his cheek, kissing his forehead. “Go find him. Talk to him.” She gave him a small smile. “He doesn’t want to give up. I think he just wasn’t prepared for it this time.”

James took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. Is… Do you know where he is?”

She stood, “I don’t. But he’s probably found a good chair.”

She let her hand brush over the top of her head before heading out of the room.

James huffed and rubbed a hand over his face. He sat for a long time, just considering his options. He should fix it, he knew that. But being around Steve anymore just seemed to set him entirely on edge. The guy was helpful sometimes, and always kind, but James just couldn’t handle the pressure of Steve’s expectations. He couldn’t handle seeing him disappointed after every session when James didn’t magically remember everything they had been through together. And while he could understand that it was hard for Steve, too, it wasn’t something he was really wanting to try and deal with anymore.

Then again, this time, Steve had left with something worse than disappointment, and that was weighing on James.

He could wait a day, maybe, and see how he felt about it then. But it also didn’t feel right leaving Steve so upset.

Before he quite realized what he was doing, James was up and across the room, pressing the button for the elevator. It opened almost immediately, and he stepped in.

“Sergeant Barnes,” the AI greeted. JARVIS, he thought. “Where shall I take you?”

He had no idea where to look first, so he said, softly, “To Steve.”

“Right away.”

The doors opened again once they reached Steve’s floor, which seemed maybe too obvious a place to look. But Natasha had been correct, and Steve was in the far corner of the room, curled up in a large armchair.

The chair wasn’t something James had paid much attention to before, other than to notice that it was very out of place in the modern decor that Stark had outfitted all the rooms with. It was old and worn, with an ugly green and yellow pattern. To its credit, it had always seemed a very comfy chair, well-stuffed and plush. He’d once thought he’d be able to nap on that chair if he tried.

He wouldn’t, though. It was Steve’s comfort space, he could tell. Steve’s knees were pulled up to his chest, and his head was resting on his knees. But it wasn’t tight. He was more relaxed as he watched the city from above. His face was still sad, eyes still red-rimmed, but he was calmer at least.

James cleared his throat, and it took a moment for Steve’s head to turn. They locked eyes, and Steve went rigid. James winced a little and ducked his head, trying to seem meeker. He took a few more steps in, coming closer so that he would be able to speak softly.

“I need to apologize,” he said, careful to look at the floor. “I can’t… I can’t regret meeting you if… if I can’t remember… meeting you.” The frowned. That wasn’t quite what he wanted to say, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Steve was already replying.

“You have every right to regret it,” he said, voice low. “What happened to you was awful, and I… I was always a… challenge.” His smile was pained. “It’s fine. I’ll just let Nat cover things with you.”

“No,” he said, quickly. Steve looked up at him, confused. “I… I really didn’t mean what I said. I was frustrated. But you… You know things. That I don’t. About by life and they’re important things. And I…” He took a deep breath and decided to just be honest. He closed his eyes. “I like being able to get things right. You get happy and it’s… right. Something in me knows that it’s right for me to make you smile. I want to try.” He looked up again, and saw tears in Steve’s eyes again. He moved closer and set a hand on his shoulder. Steve’s eyes focused on his knees. “I’m not… I’m not good, but I wanna be. And, most days… you’re the reason I wanna be. Don’t… Please don’t give up on me, Steve.”

Steve was silent for several moments, but James could feel him shaking under his palm. He started to rub Steve’s shoulders just a little, and a sob left the other man. Steve pressed his face against his thighs and started to cry again, in earnest. James felt his own eyes sting in sympathy, the knots in his stomach roiling. He knelt in front of the chair and pulled Steve down onto the floor with him, holding him close. He let Steve hide his face against James’ chest as he cried, and James just pet his hair, letting him hold on as tight as he needed.

It took several minutes for Steve to cry himself out. James’ knees were hurting, and his back felt odd in his positions, but he held it, his training helping him hold the position. He let his hand curl in Steve’s hair, just holding on a little.

Steve’s breath stuttered, and he held still in James’ arms just a minute or two longer before pulling away. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes. James’ hand let go of his hair, but moved quickly to hold his free hand.

Steve laughed weakly, “Thanks…”

James took a deep breath, “I was wrong. I want to remember, I just… It’s hard. I need your help Steve.”

Steve was shaking his head. “You already told me. It’s… it’s fine. You’re allowed to be upset.” He gave James’ hand a squeeze, and smiled just a little. “But… yeah. Thank you.”

James couldn’t help but smile, a little wider, in return. The knots in his belly were untwisting at seeing Steve smile again. He pulled Steve into another hug, and grinned wide as Steve’s arms wrapped around him.

Man. I really am a cat person I guess

My last cat died almost a year ago... but i didnt even get to be with her. She was young and i left her with my best friend when I moved to Japan. She had seizures...

I really miss her

I miss all my babies

But im feeling serious pet withdrawl. I have NEVER been without pets for this long in my LIFE. I grew up on a farm. I only went to college for like 3 months or less at a time and got to go home and see my babies

I want a kitten SO BAD - ive always thought that when I get my own clean place that I wont get animals because I always wanted to be able to keep a place clean and not having cat hair alllllll overrrrr alllllll my clothes was nice in college

But I NEED A CAT. I NEEDDDDDD TO FEEL THE PURRING. I NEED KITTY KISSES AND CUDDLES AND THEIR LITTLE mew mews

I feel starved for real

So many of my cats have passed and I know any future cats will before me as well

But i still want them

Dogs though

I fucking ADORED my dog

I begged my mom for my own puppy for YEARS before Kiki was sent to me from the universe basically. Her moms owners husband threatened to kill her and her siblings if they werent gotten rid of. So my family took them at about a month old - just old enough that they could survive without their mother

There were 6-7 of them. And they were all normal puppies except for my Kiki! She was always staring at them like they were annoying and preferred to sit in the back of their pen away from their jumping. When they came out to eat and play, shed find a quiet spot to eat and then go hide under the couch (it was funny cause they all moved too much and my mom and i couldnt count them when we put them away because they kept moving. So wed just assume we got them all - then a couple hours later Kiki would emerge from under the couch yawning and wed be like oh! There was another puppy!)

I remember debating between a couple of the puppies when my mom hinted that I could keep one. But ultimately I chose my Kiki. I didnt even have a particular reason why - I was about 7 and I remember imagining how if I chose one of her siblings I’d finally have one of those movie dogs. I did of course like that she was the runt - but there was something else about her

As I grew up and became more isolated and miserable myself (not to say Kiki was miserable by any standard. But she was a very picky dog with an animated face) we just matched

Kiki honestly got happier after all her siblings were adopted out. We played all the time when she was a puppy. And as I got older, I didnt want to go roll around in the snow or go for long as hikes. And while that would upset most dogs - honestly Kiki seemed content to be let be. Like she seemed to have age the same as me and we were both like - dude. Im glad you dont wanna play all day long - i need my me time. (And by me time i mean we were both happy to just exist in the same room together)

Wed both get random spurts of energy and play for an hour or so instigated by the other

There was this mac and cheese I ate and never finished and I would give the leftovers to her - there came a time that when she smelled it she KNEW and the second i looked like I was done her head would shoot up - she was ready

Sometimes my mom would eat half and Kiki would look at her like - the fuck?!

And my mom would tell her sorry i know this is yours

She was the best fucking dog. My best friend. We understood each other. We loved each other.

It still makes me cry having to remember her finaly days. She got cancer. I had to put her down. She was almost 13 - which is young :(

And I still cant bear the idea of getting anther dog.

My cat was 18 when she passed. She lived in my room for reasons. And I had the same relationship with Star. I miss her so dearly and no cat could replicate or minimize those feelings

But i still want cats

But.... not a dog.... and I think it’s because. And I always knew it

Kiki was so different from other dogs. We matched personalities - but because Kikis personality was closer to that of a cats than a dogs.

I never look for an animal that reminds me of one from the past. It sounds too cruel first off. And meeting new personalities is wonderful. Im still kinda sad that I couldnt adopt a cat from a store who wanted to play fetch in her cage and who i fell in love with right there and then. I hope she found a good home 😭

But most dog personalites dont mesh with me. I like them. I wanna play with and visit them. But i dont wanna own them.

My best friend who basically lives in a zoo felt the same way about her first dog. I kinda think maybe its because we just connected with our dogs as children and while they were puppies. Connected intially because we were similar and then as we grew together - our dogs - understanding that we too were children - took care of us. Like a reciprical parent child relationship and so we grew up with dogs who took on our ways of interacting. They understood that regardless of what was going on - we had unconditional love for them which stopped that dog urge of - constantly trying to prove to you that theyre worthy of your love. And they know you - for example. Kiki still did bad things sometimes - but she’d avoid things that she knew really bothered me. Maybe shed decide to chew something up, eat something she shouldnt, or poop where she shouldnt —— well in her case - shed purposely target things that didnt belong to me. Or poop in a spot where i didnt usually walk

My family would get mad at me about it - why whenever your dog misbehaves, its never YOUR STUFF ?! Cause she knows its my stuff

Yeah. Just. I miss my pets. My dog was perfect. And i want a cuddily kitty purring next to me right now

PET Ep 9

Ari sat up slightly, a bad feeling in her gut. She pulled out her phone and dialed Arthurs number as fast as she could move, grabbing Eras book.. WHy does Arthur only have one life, oh my god oh my god Ari flipped through the pages, letting out a squeak when noticing the others also only have one life, what the fuck was going on "Fuck! ANgy, Arthur- Vincent! whoever this is! Why the fuck are you all at only one life!" she screamed into the phone, worry in her voice Era wakes up, looking over to Ari in confusion "Wha." "ARTHURS GONNA WHAT?!" She screamed, panic in her tone "I DIDNT SET UP ANYTHING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO KILL ARTHUR?! HE WAS AT OVER A HUNDRE DLIVES JUST A SECOND AGO!" Era shifts away from Ari slightly, deciding to just listen to her "Cre-creepy woman!?" Ari was starting to tear up not, shaking obvious "How is she holding him up that high? mgic? wings?? Why is my brother going to die please save him he cant die- why is she holding him up?!" her voice sounded kind of choked, she obviously had no part of this "My little brother cant die- you guys c-cant either- sa-save him and g-get away-" Era is so confused right now, the only thing she knows is that Arthur is probably going to die. She lightly pats Ari on the shoulder "Hey- hey- calm down, count to ten, and try to focus on breathing. What's going on?" She'd hug Ari right now but wants to make sure she's okay first Ari took a deep breath "what is she t-telling you t-to do? l-listen to her- if s-s-shes just gon-gonna-- d-dont-- just-- try-try and c-catch him-" she stopped, taking a deep breath and holding the phone away from her ear to stare at Era "i have to go back right now we wont be able to get there in time my little brother is going to die an-and-" she choked on a sob, tears now going down her cheeks. Era pauses, "Wait- Okay, okay," She softly hugs her "Shh, calm down, I'll go try and see if there's any way to leave before the barrier is gone okay?" She lets go of Ari, standing up "Try and calm down, okay?" Era heads inside of the Acachalla house to go ask anyone if there's a way to leave Ari put the phone back to her ear "p-please dont l-let my brother die- please..i- ill try and..ill...I cant get there in time- oh my god- Arthur--..Angy just, listen to the woman if shes saying something- dont. let. her. k-kill. him. Ill...Billy! E-Era! ask Billy!" she yelled slightly, her angry-sad tone more obvious when screaming Era proceeds to loudly ask, while inside of the house, "BILLY ARE YOU AWAKE??" Max heard all the yelling and finally took her hood off. "I-Is someone dying?" "AcTUALLY, you are correct," "Oh. Whos dying??" She began to shake Billy to wake him up, as he indeed was fast asleep. "Uhm, Arthur, maybe everyone else. Billy wake up." "Oh gosh, what are they doing back there??" Billy blinked open his eyes "mmph?? what? dying?? what did i hear bout Dying?" he mumbled, looking at the two people around him "I need to know if there's any way to leave the barrier before 8AM. We need to leave now, everyone else is going to die, they only have a few lives left." "Wait were leaving? I wanna stay here..." Max frowned, it was nice here, oddly Ari choked on a sob hearing Angy say something "Arthur- is he okay- is-- where is he- Phone- give to him--" she stred at the book as all their names joined one page, number switching to five "..H-HOW ARE YOU Sh-SHARING LIVES?!" Billy jolted when hearing that "theres no way to leave the barrier no. wait, sharing lives? what the dang?" he got to his feet and ran over to Ari to look at the book "..that shouldnt be able to happen, someones messing with their life count.." Max stood up, stretching. There goes her happy party. Era follows Billy "Okay okay, so there is absolutely, no way, at all, to leave?" "No way, at all. no." Billy sighed "I would fly one of you over there but i dont know if the barrier will let you leave tonight. only im able to get out, from what ive learned. anytime ive tried bringing someone they lost a life." he muttered Max followed, "Isnt there anyone around here who can make a portal out or something? Plus that would be much faster for us to get there.." "Arthur? Arthur??" she heard her brothers voice, and is trying to take deep breaths now "what happened. Why did you almost die, why were you at one life, why re you sharing lives!? nonono, forget all that, are you okay, are you hurt at all? i mean i understand you're probably scared to death but hurt? and if not to calm yourself down take deep b-breaths- and- and- if you a-are hu-hurt- t-try just- pressing on the wounds- an-and-" she choked on a sob "i thought id lost you Arth- oh my god--" she murmured "do you have any med packs??" shes concerned, shes just so fuc king w orr ied "Im guessing no one in this insane city can make portals? Or am I just getting ignored here?" Billy looked over "not portals out of the city." "Laaame" "Well, this is going great." "I didnt do an-anythign i swear!" she sobbed into the mic angrily "i dont kno-know whats g-going on- im just w-w-worried about y-you because a-apparently you a-almost died-" "i forgot Arthur- i f-forgot i- i didnt want a-anything t-to happen-- i-- i- Im trying to find a way to get there now- ill come find you alright? j-just- stay away f-from the crazy wo-woman- try a-and hide- and im a-atleast 80% s-sure the call w-w-was lying so- you- you shouldnt encounter a-anything- i s-swear i had n-no clue t-this would happen- i just-- i thought it was a normal call y-you and Ang co-could handle.." "..ill b-be there asap. If yo-you have to. and h-have a gun. Show n-no mercy to anything you find." she sighed quietly "...d-dont c-cry anymore, alright? y-you've got Vincent and Angy to pr-protect you and ill be there soon." she heard his voice. She didnt give a chance to respond before hanging up, stumbling to her feet "I need to go home- Now." she muttered, glaring at Billy, who just sighed "theres no way of gettin out kiddo." "Wheres the barrier at anyways, like can we just go.....right up to it right now?" Max looked at the sky, it looked weird compared to the sky anywhere shes been before.... -------- Update on Spop. She is currently trying to stitch Klondike back up, but is poking herself with the needle than Klondike Update on Ari, she sat with Billy trying to comfort her for awhile until she fricking passed the fuck out on the grass from exhaustion and tears Era pauses, having been waiting for the barrier to disappear since she couldn't fall back asleep. After a moment, she blinks, checking the time. "Ah!" Era shuffles over to where Ari was currently passed out, shaking her slightly "Arrriii wake up." Ari shot awake in an instant. She looked up at the sky and jolted, stumbling to her feet "ge-get Max and Spop-- Home- now-" she stammered, holding her head from gettin up way too fast. Billy came out of the house, looking over "...? Oh, i was gonna come tell you, its, its 8:30. but i guess you know that." he chuckled slightly "choices are car, or i can try carrying one or two of you at a time, though the second option might be a bit dizzying." Ari looked at Era with a pleading look. She had to get to Arthur as fast as she possibly could "Okay- Okay- Uhm, is the second option faster?" Billy nodded "i mean yea, i can fly pretty fast" Ari kind of just, put out an arm, so Billy, from instinct, grabbed it, gesturing so he could grab Eras"im gonna, hope neither of you are too afraid of going to high." "Haha, I'm terrified of it." She holds out her own arm "I just won't look down and I'll probably be fine. BUT, don't, go to high. Billy nodded, grabbing Era's arm "i can put you down at anytime if you wanna ditch this.. so." wings kinda just, appeared on his back, hello spawning "Max! Spop! ill be back to carry you guys soon, got it?" and up they went, high up but not to high. Ari looked down at the ground, making an inhumane noise Spop was leaning on the wall, asleep with Klondike in her arms An alarm went off, it was Maxs phone. She woke up and went to go turn it off, even though she knew she had to get up. She really didnt want to leave. Era proceeds to stare ahead, not looking down despite her curiosity Billy sped up..pretty fast. the ground was like, pretty much just a rapid blur, Ari screeched and grabbed Eras free hand for comfort, she hates this, she hates this,,, Era is trying so hard to not scream right now, gripping onto Ari's hand ------------ billy just casually drops off two females outside the building then goes back to get the other two females Ari got to her feet quickly, holding her head and looking up..it was..still night here. She checked her phone, how the fuck was it still only around 9:30 here? So Arthur would've called...15? 20 minutes ago?? okay, whatever "Okay, in...in here." she muttered, running around to one of the windows and grabbing at the boards, trying to pull it off "Era, come help me out with this!" she called, not caring a crazy lady was probably watching them Era runs over to Ari, proceeding to try and pull off the boards with her Ari heard a tiny crack and pulled on it harder, watching the wood come off and quickly hopping inside, pulling Era in before the board reappeared Era stumbles a bit when being pulled in, blinking and pulling out her flashlight when realizing it was a lot darker then expected "Okay so.. what are we expecting to see here?" Arthur's probably still just. Walking around in the darkness, pulling Angy along so he has something to cling to. His eyes have gotten used to the darkness at this point, but he's still scared to death and wants to make sure he's not left by himself. "Arthur, for one." Ari took a flashlight out of her quiver, flicking it on, keeping her hand over the light so it wasnt too bright. "Angy for two. and..maybe Vincent." "Nono, like, evil demon things. What are we expecting with that?" "Nothing. besides the crazy lady, which.. uh, we see that?..haha, we can just say goodbye" she moved a finger across her neck to show what she meant, giving a soft grin "but i doubt that'll happen." Era pauses, getting her crossbow ready as well "Well, let's hope it won't. Lets go look for them now. Since there's supposedly a crazy lady we.. probably shouldn't yell for them." Angy, her wrist still in Arthur's grip, stopped for a second for what she thought were two faint voices. "Do you hear that..?" Ari's werecat ears were useful in this situation, and she grabbed Eras arm, darting out of the room they were in and moving her flashlight around to see around "Angy?" she called quietly, worry in her tone Era follows along with Ari's movements, trying not to fall from all of the sudden being dragged around "What, the random creaking every now in then? All the other sounds my head likes to make up? Because yeah, yeah I d- oh that." He wasn't sure who that was, and didn't CARE who that was, he was just. scared. So the voice makes him cling to Angy even harder. The young girl heard a voice calling out her name, she debated to reply back, thinking it might be a trick but decided in the end to call out as well "Hello? Who's there..?" Era pauses, whispering over to Ari "I think that's them." Ari pulled Era towards the sound, not calling again. After a few minutes, they had light, from Ari shining the flashlight on them...oh, thats Ari releasing Era and throwing her arms around her brother in a hug "oh thank god your okay-" she muttered, no escape Arth, this is overly protective sister, she kind of, looked at Angy with a grateful, and worried smile, making sure to remember getting out med packs Angy sighed with relief "Thank god it was actually you, I thought we were dead.." Era walks over to them as quietly as possible "What's- what's even been happening?" He'd sCREAm AT FiRst Because holy Shit he didn't expect that, but soon just hugging back whoever this was because Shit it's still dark. Ari shined the light enough on both her and Arthur so he could see her and she could see him "Sorry for scaring you, i was just really fricking worried-" she muttered "We got tricked by that.. woman thing.. she told us to give up our stuff for the "test" Ari had made for us." Angy went up to Era "We refused and that's when she took Arthur way high up.." "Oh god, that sounds terrifying." "i had nothing to do w-with making the test. i got a call, i answered. common business curtesy. Everything she did was all her. I would never try to get Arthur killed." she kind of, thought about Arthur being high up, and just, shivered "..god i shouldnt have made you guys go on this alone, i shouldn't have left.." she mumbled He's not even respondent enough to say anything back, he's just. hug. helo. His eyes are puffy from tears too haha. Era blinks, shining her flashlight down the hallway "We should get out of here now.." Angy turned back to Ari and placed a hand of her shoulder "It's alright, we knew you wouldn't be capable to do this to Arthur, it was just.." She shook her head before continuing "The good thing is that he's okay and you're here now. Era is right, we need to leave" Ari not letting go of her brother until hes okay with it so, as far as she knows they might just hug for awhile. Shes fine with that. "Im not moving from this spot until Arthur decides to just cling to my arm or back or something." she muttered towards Era, then looked back at Arthur, oh, puff eyes. Uh. um. Shes just gonna, pick him up actually, hopefully hes okay with this. Im still questioning how this girl can lift up someone only one inch smaller then her but okay. Casually tries to give her flashlight to Arthur so she just sticks it in his pocket. "alright, ye, okay. lets go. Arth, tell me if you want me to put you down." shes ready to follow™ Era stares at the group for a moment before turning around, heading back to where they got in from "Yes please put me down-" He doesn't like this o boy it's like the whole 'getting-carried-15-feet-in-the-air' situation all over again, except it's not risking his life or at a far enough height to kill him but he still doesn't like being picked u p. He's definitely gonna use the flashlight though. Ari puts Arthur down, but refuses to let him go, so she just softly holds his arm, if he wants to cling then he can. "Era we arent getting out that way, i hope you know. Board resealed. Angy, mind catchin me up on this weird lady?I mean i know she almost killed Arthur but, is she doin anything else right now? and..wheres Vincent?" Angy quickly followed behind Era, already wanting to get away from anything having to deal with this building. Era passes by where they came out from "I know, but I kinda wanna stay in this general area considering how huge this place is." She stopped for a moment, thinking to herself "Oh no.. Vincent god dammit! He was with us and then he walked away for no reason and we couldn't go for him because it was so dark" "We'll find hiiiim." Ari nodded "Era, we cant. we barely know how much time we have to the woman does..something. So spending to long trying to find this new idiot addition to the team is a pretty bad idea." "I meant, "We'll find him while trying to find a way out on accident" because apparently that's how logic works these days." "..right, okay. anyone have any ideas? we could try bombing it from in here..but, i dont..know if that would work. like, blast the door open." "Ehhhhhhh." The boy is silent. He just wants to hide now. He's also wearing his hood over his head, probably to muffle random sounds. "I mean.. as long as you don't bring the whole building down, I think it's a pretty good idea" "alright.." she just, takes out one of her grenades, flicks off the pin, and throws it at the door, hopefully far enough away from Angy and Era "Heck-" Era proceeds to j u M P™ away from the grenade, wanting to be as far away from it as possible Oh, there goes the explosion.. they out? "Uh..cant see." softly grabs Arthurs other arm to direct the flashlight toward the smoke from the explosion, the door is open.. "out, bolt down the road." she muttered, already hearing footsteps behind them. "Stay away from us crazy lady!" she growled, pulling Arthur out of the building and tryin to run as far away from it as possible, god damn good thing its night, vampire speed. Hope the boyo isnt dizzy Luckily this time Angy didn't get crushed or nearly killed by the explosion and did a little happy dance once she saw the door open. She didn't need to be told to run, the footsteps she heard behind her motivated  her to start running like a mad man. Era paused for a moment from confusion before speeding out the door, she does not want to stay in here any longer then 0 seconds Ari probabl picked Arth up again halfway,, yea. def did. After they were a really good distance away from the building Era just, stops, heavily breathing "Okay, one, I hate running. Two, I hate running. Three, I hate running." Ari set him down once she felt far enough away "s-sorry about that, i just wanted to get you away from there as fast as possible.." she was, kinda concerned by his look, but decided not to question it "Okay, we're heading home like, right away." Aris going to go out to get Arthur more snacks and let himself lock himself in his room probably "Can I nuke the place first?" "no" "I'm gunna nuke it." Era looks over to the building in the distance "Okay guys it's gunna be nuked." "what" b OO O MM M "My job here is done." His eye twitched. He's probably just sitting on the ground now. The boy is Shook. ".....We.. should go home now." Angy took a moment to catch her breath, seeing as she was way out of shape. "Good job guys, thank you Era for blowing up that.. thing But yeah, let's go home.." Era stares at the destroyed building off in the distance for a moment before turning around "Uh-huh. Max and Spop are probably going to be back soon." "How do we get home if we have no form of trasnportation." He'd mumble, realizing they probably knew and he we just asking that question for no reason, mumbling a barely even coherent 'nevermind sorry'. Ari looked at Arthur "nono its fine, its a good question. I dont wanna torture you with my vampire speed though so, we're probably just gonna walk- if you dont want to walk i can carry you but you said you didnt want that-" "Let's just hope that lady got roasted with the building and doesn't decide to catch up to us" Angy said while starting to walk. Era stands in her place, waiting for Ari and Athur to start walking too "Yeah.." The boy gets up and just follows after Angy. Out of everyone else to trust right now, she was the only one, even if all she did was make sure he didn't start screaming and crying in the dark. Era stares at Ari, waiting for her to go as well. She wants to make sure no one is accidentally left behind Ari went in, another direction "ill meet you guys at home okay? i- im gonna go somewhere. Ill be like 5 minutes, probably will meet you there- hopefully-" Era pauses, continuing to stare at her "Be safe," she quietly says before following the others

RYAN: -she's here at sage and jack's place, knocking on the door impatiently. she's like 99% sure jack isn't here because she made the mistake of messaging him ahead of time, but even if he isn't, sage might be able to tell her where she can find him. she takes a drag off a cigarette while she waits for an answer.-

SAGE: -oops, she napped for too long, and the door knocking makes her get up off the couch sleepily and stumble to the front door. her hair is a mess, but she smiles seeing Ryan when she pulls the door open- hey!!!!!!

RYAN: -manages a little smile for sage, but damn ryan does not look great. she's got her own hair pulled back but it's still managing to stick out all over the place. and she looks tired, sickly even. she'd look even worse if she didn't have her shades on to cover her eyes.- 

RYAN: hey baby. 

RYAN: i dont suppose jack is home is he?

SAGE: -uh oh...she doesn't look so well.- no actually but are you okay?????? -is it bad she's a little relieved that ryan  needs help right now? it takes the focus off of sage at least. maybe she's a bad person for feeling that way-

RYAN: -exhales smoke, muttering.- figures. 

RYAN: im just... peachy. -waves her hand around.- 

RYAN: im pretty sure jack is avoiding me is all. whatever.

SAGE: -frowns- why would you think that??? -steps to the side so she can come in-

RYAN: -shuffles on inside. every step feels so heavy.- well first it just started with him cancelling plans. turning down offers to hang out and shit. 

RYAN: and then... since easter i havent even heard from him. 

RYAN: -gestures wildly again.- hes never here when i say im coming over conveniently.

SAGE: oh...... -she sighs a little and goes to get ryan some water because she doesn't look good- did something happen on easter?????

RYAN: no. 

RYAN: ... -sighs- i mean.

RYAN: nothing happened with him. 

RYAN: i was at james and roxannes for easter you know like we usually do. and i asked jack to hang out after but he turned me down. 

RYAN: and its like whatever!! it didnt bother me. i just made other plans and... 

RYAN: -runs a hand through her hair- i hung out with this dude nellie and. shit. 

RYAN: man i fucked up. 

RYAN: jack probably found out with his dumbass soothsayin bullshit. fuck.

SAGE: oh....... -hands ryan a cold bottle of water- that's pretty weird!!!!!!! 

SAGE: what do you mean you fucked up???

RYAN: -takes the water bottle and casually sips- ... 

RYAN: i was out partying all night. 

RYAN: aaand the following day.

SAGE: -she knows the power of reactions so she just nods- it happens...... 

SAGE: it's okay

RYAN: -glances away, unfortunately a little irritated by that response. but... that isn't something she's about to take out on sage of all people.- 

RYAN: i guess.

RYAN: i mean its clearly not entirely okay.

SAGE: yeah but....... 

SAGE: sometimes you go backwards before you go forwards???? it's something i learned in the hospital i guess....relapsing doesn't take away from all the progress you've made so far

SAGE: i don't know what's up with jack

RYAN: -finds an ash tray to put her cig out in. there's gotta be one around.- it does when you could end up dead. 

RYAN: hes being-- hes being an asshole. -runs a hand over her face, trying to contain the emotion suddenly threatening to surface. she isn't usually like this...- 

RYAN: he shouldnt have taken me back if he cant deal with my shit.

SAGE: -ryan's words bring up some thoughts she immediately tries to ignore- i had no idea..... 

SAGE: are you okay????

RYAN: ive been sober like... eight or nine months?? fuck. 

RYAN: you know how dangerous it is to pick that shit back up suddenly? 

RYAN: im fucking stupid. -sniffs-

SAGE: -she nods, expression softening- i don't think you're stupid at all 

 SAGE: i think you're trying your hardest and deserve more support than you're getting

RYAN: -turns back towards her suddenly. she can't hide the way her mascara is running past the shades.- ive got PLENTY of support. 

RYAN: i always fucking did. -draws in a sharp breath, shrinking back and internally scolding herself for lashing out at sage of all people.- 

RYAN: im just ungrateful. 

RYAN: and he thinks-- he thinks im his responsibility. 

RYAN: i never wanted that... i never wanted to dump all this baggage on him. 

RYAN: ... but it doesnt work that way does it?

SAGE: -it hurts to see her aunt in so much pain. she feels small when it comes to trying to help, and it doesn't seem like she has any of the right things to say. are there any right things to say?- i don't think you're-- -she stops herself because she's thinking that won't help either. and she doesn't want to make ryan more angry and frustrated than she already is. it's understandable why she's feeling so strongly- 

SAGE: i...... 

SAGE: he hasn't said anything so i can't speak for him but i don't think you're dumping baggage on anybody

RYAN: -rubs at her eyes under her shades- i know you dont think that sweetie... -sighs- 

RYAN: but its still there. you know? people can see that. 

RYAN: everybody tells me aw ryan its alright... these things happen. everything will be okay. 

RYAN: and its fucking hard to hear when i see how much it hurts everybody. 

RYAN: ive got one selfish fucking disease. and nobody wants to admit that it is. everybody just wants to think about me and help me and i cant fucking... deal with what i do to people. when i never gave anybody anything in return.

SAGE: -she looks down for a moment- yeah....... 

SAGE: i know what you mean.... 

SAGE: it's really hard

RYAN: -sniffles again, running a hand over her hair.- yeah? 

RYAN: i always thought hed understand too. 

RYAN: ... maybe he understands too much. maybe thats the problem. i dont fucking know.

SAGE: -she nods before just...leaning over to hug her tightly-

RYAN: ... -carefully wraps her arms around her too, hesitant at first, but then she squeezes just as tight.- 

RYAN: it sucks doesnt it? 

RYAN: feeling like a burden. 

RYAN: -scoffs- when everyones so good to you... like you dont deserve what people give to you. -pets at her hair-

SAGE: -her eyes are watering a little but she blinks the tears back- yeah.......... 

SAGE: and it feels like.......they're disappointed when they can't make what's happening go away.........and then you feel bad because they feel bad....

RYAN: -outright laughs about that, she's so relieved to have this conversation. that someone who gets it is actually sharing it with her.- FUCK yeah. jesus. 

RYAN: like shit man... i know i need help but... 

RYAN: theres only so much anybody can do for me. i gotta figure out the rest of it on my own. 

RYAN: and i just... want people to be there sometimes. i just wanna know we can all still be cool without people worrying about me all the time. 

RYAN: slap me on the wrist from time to time to keep me straight. its whatever. but fuck... aint nobody my keeper. i wouldnt wish that on anybody hahaha.

SAGE: -keeps holding onto her. her eyes are still brimming with tears but she's trying to blink them back- i know right?????? like..........sometimes you just know they're thinking about what you're struggling with?????? even if they don't say it.....

RYAN: -pulls away to frame this sweet niece's face, brushing away her tears, but only to make way for more. it's good that she's crying. it's good that it makes ryan want to cry more too.- well hey... 

RYAN: if you ever need someone to feel like a pathetic loser with then im your girl. 

RYAN: we dont gotta keep it together for anybody... just for a lil while. that sound cool?

SAGE: -she nods, forcing a smile- you can always come to me too!!!

RYAN: -pets at her hair some more.- im gonna do that. 

RYAN: we can just veg and eat ice cream and watch sad movies and shit. itll be great. 

RYAN: we should do that tonight. 

RYAN: ... and jack cant avoid me if im already here. -snorts-

SAGE: -she giggles a little while sniffling- i like the sound of that!!!! 

SAGE: like a sleepover!!!!

RYAN: hell yeah. 

RYAN: please tell me youve already got ice cream...

SAGE: DUH!!!!!!!

RYAN: thank FUCK. -laughs- 

RYAN: grab the ice cream... ill get us something REAL sappy to watch.

SAGE: -she giggles with ryan and wipes her own face off- okay but no movies where the dog dies!!!!!