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fizzyxcustard · 2 months

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Covert Eyes (23)

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery, abduction, hostage situation.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy is now working for MI-5, after being recruited by Ros. But will her involvement with Lucas cause even more problems and heartbreak?

When Amy's parents get involved, how will things pan out for Amy and Lucas?

Official soundtrack list: here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in.

People who don't interact with my fics over a few months will be removed from tag lists.

Bright light burst into the room and the familiar voices of Ros and Jo broke through the shroud of silence that had formed in the room. Halos around their heads. Amy winced against the light….

As Amy lay in bed, waking, she saw Lucas’ outline, his form haloed by a bright light. He was in the doorway. Every time he stood in the doorway, the room dark, with only light from the hallway behind him, it took her back. It felt as if she were time travelling back to her time locked away with nothing by Simon Caulfield’s slimy words for company.

Lucas limped into the room. She could hear his shouts in her mind as Simon Caulfield had put a bullet in his thigh merely seconds before Ros and Jo saved them. Then once they had both been released, Amy and Lucas had been in hospital overnight. They had been given their own private room due to the nature of their reasoning for being in hospital.

Harry had given them both time off to recuperate, and offered counselling. Lucas, as he had done many times, politely rejected Harry’s offer. However, Amy knew that she would probably find herself fighting against the memories for some time.

Lucas got into bed beside Amy, and studied her for a moment. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, but gradually they had begun to fade and the light in her eyes was starting to reappear.

Amy curled her arm around his head, her fingers sifting through his short hair. He was literally her everything.

***

Richard Holland held a small package in his hand, thinking back on the postman’s words that it had been sent first class but accidentally got lost at the depot, so was a week late. He ripped open the thick envelope finding a small stack of papers inside. On the top was a note, written in capital letters.

RICHARD AND SHARON HOLLAND,

THE ENCLOSED PHOTOGRAPHS ARE PROOF THAT LUCAS NORTH IS NOT WHO HE APPEARS TO BE. YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN DANGER.

Richard felt his whole body grow cold at the sight of photos of Amy bound to a chair and blindfolded. Then further photographs showed Amy lying on the pavement in a pool of her own blood, next to another woman also shot. With Lucas standing over both of them, a gun in his hand.

***

Amy and Lucas were still off work when the phone call came. Lucas was sat on the sofa with a mug of coffee, flicking through the channels, rolling his eyes at how shit day time TV was. Amy had been cleaning the kitchen; mundane tasks were enough to take her mind away from the thoughts of Simon Caulfield. The pain in her neck and back was fading day by day, but still enough to cause her grief and keep up a steady dose of painkillers.

“Dad?” Amy asked. “Everything okay?” Amy sat down at the kitchen table and sighed, wincing at sharp stab of pain which shot through her neck.

“I’m coming to fetch you, Amy. You’re not to stay with that bastard any longer!” Richard Holland demanded. “Your mum knew there was something behind the shooter; I know she was involved with Lucas. And I know you were took hostage last week.”

A rod of ice shot down Amy’s back and her heart raced in her chest. “D…Dad….what’s happened?”

“I’m coming to London to get you. He better not be there when I come because I’ll kill the bastard!” Richard seethed.

“Dad, please, stop it.”

“No, I won’t stop it, Amy. I am not prepared to let him do this to you. It’s a good job your mum is at work and hasn’t seen the photos. I won’t let her see them.”

“Who sent you the photos?”

“It doesn’t matter who sent them. I’m coming to get you. Pack some things.”

“Dad…please….”

Lucas could hear Amy’s pleas and hobbled into the kitchen. “Aim, what’s going on?”

Richard growled down the phone line. “Trying to play the protector now, is he? He can fuck himself. He’d better not be there when I come and get you because I really will kill him…”

Amy was weeping as her father disconnected the call. She held the phone in her shaking hand, until it finally fell from her grasp and hit the floor. “Dad knows!” she sobbed. “He’s got photos of me from last week and when I was shot. He’s coming to take me back to Coventry. I can’t leave.”

Lucas’ breath caught in his throat. Everything he loved was slipping away, and for a few seconds he tried to grapple with some kind of rational thought. He knew he couldn’t fight this one; Amy’s father was right. Despite having not heard Richard’s side of the conversation, Lucas knew he was doing the right thing. Amy had to be safe.

Amy dashed at Lucas, grabbing his shirt. She could see in his face that he was admitting defeat.

“You need to go with him, Aim. They can keep you safe: I can’t,” Lucas said, his voice breaking. “I love you too much to let you keep being hurt. He’s doing this because he loves you, Amy. He fucking loves you…and so do I.” His voice finally broke. Tears fell down Lucas’ cheeks and he took Amy into his arms, holding her tight. “Go with him, angel. I can’t keep you safe anymore.”

“You can,” Amy wept, looking up at him. “I want to be with you, Lucas. More than anything. Don’t push me away.”

“I’m not pushing you away because I want to. Fuck. Can’t you see that? It’s because I love you more than anything that I’m doing this.”

“If I do go, I’ll come back,” Amy argued. “They can’t make me stay.”

Lucas smiled through the tears. “You are the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

The next two hours were crippling as Amy packed two suitcases full of clothing. Lucas watched her from the doorway, knowing that letting her go was the only way to keep her safe. Amy belonged with her family who could be the stability she needed. “I am coming back,” Amy said defiantly, stopping for a second with a pile of underclothes in her hands. “I don’t intend on staying there for long.”

“You’ll stay as long as you need to.”

“I’m only doing this to please you and Dad for now, but I’ll be coming back,” Amy countered. She approached Lucas and lifted her hand, cupping his cheek. He kissed her palm, turning into her touch. Then suddenly he kissed her hard, catching her off guard. Heat mounted so high between them and within seconds, Lucas’ lips were trailing down Amy’s throat.

They made love on the bed. It was like the very first time they had made love: intense, passionate, full of want. As Lucas came and then rested his head on her chest, he whispered, “I need to let you go.”

“Lucas, no!” Amy whimpered. “Don’t you dare!”

Lucas got up from the bed, untangling himself from her and re-buttoned his shirt, and then pulled his jeans up, re-buckling his belt.

“When we got back together, I should have known I wouldn’t be worth it,” Amy growled. “I’m never worth it, am I?”

“You are worth everything!” Lucas shot back. His eyes were wide and his whole face was contorted in anger and frustration. “How the fuck can you say you’re not worth it? I’m doing this because I love you. I should have known better than ever bring you into any of this. I should have stayed away when I first saw you.”

Amy choked as she heard those words and dropped to the bed. “You regret me….”

“I would never regret you. I only regret that I caused you so much pain. Your dad won’t be too much longer, I don’t think.” He looked at the clock; Coventry was about a three hour drive away from London. It was now just after one in the afternoon and Richard had called at eleven. “Go with your dad. You are loved so much more than you could ever imagine. By all of us.”

Lucas walked out of the room and picked up his keys in the hallway.

Amy followed on behind, calling after him.

Before Lucas left the flat, he kissed Amy hard one last time. “I adore you so much,” he choked. “Be happy, angel, but more important, be safe.”

Amy sobbed on the doorstep as Lucas left. She watched his form walk down the hallway and out the main door into the street. Pain was ripping her so raw inside and in her own mind she knew that she could never give up on Lucas North completely. No matter what happened and what evil things were thrown at them. Their love would be stronger than any of it.

***

Amy sat in her dad’s car as they drove back to Coventry. There was only silence and the gentle sway of the car as it swept along the motorway. Until Richard broke open the silence. “Fancy a coffee?”

“Okay,” Amy whispered, her voice so hoarse after sobbing. Her cheeks were still vivid red and her eyes full of unshed tears. They threatened to fall at any moment. Just her dad’s kindness and soft voice made her want to cry all over again. Of course he was only protecting her; that had never been in dispute. That was all he and Lucas were doing.

Richard slipped out of the car and headed into a Costa at a motorway service station. Rain was beginning to spit as dark clouds began to move in. Amy stared out of the window, her focus glued to the spot in front of her where a family were getting into their car. A dark haired man, accompanied by a blonde woman. A toddler and an older child, who looked to be around ten. They looked happy.

The sound of the driver door opening snapped Amy back to reality and made her jump. Richard noticed his daughter’s shock and smiled sadly at her. “Here you go, love,” he said, offering her a large latte. “Extra shot of caramel.” Then he winked.

As Richard started the engine, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Amy,” he said. “I’m only doing this for your good; you know that, don’t you? I know you love Lucas. But being with him is going to put you at risk.”

“I know, Dad,” Amy said, her voice quiet. “I know you’re doing this to help me and because you love me.”

“You might be a grown woman, but your mum and I would do anything for you, you know that. We want you safe. No matter how old your children get, your responsibility for them never stops.”

The car was still stationary as Richard glanced across at Amy’s hands in her lap, and he noticed something dark around her wrist as her jumper sleeve had ridden up her arm. “Fucking hell,” he whispered. “Your wrists.”

***

Lucas slammed the flat door as he walked back inside, knowing Amy would be gone by now. The silence was deafening, and a gasp came from the very back of his throat. She’d gone. Her room was tidy, but her diary from her bedside table was gone, along with her slippers and most of the toiletries from the bathroom. He opened her wardrobe, just to feel the pain of her departure even more. There were barely any clothes left.

In the kitchen and Lucas slumped down on the floor, feeling the cold of tiles against his backside and thighs. Pain from the bullet wound shot down his leg, but he didn’t care. The pain couldn’t compare to that of letting Amy go. He pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and looked at the photo of them on his lock screen. She was his everything. Though the pain was excruciating, her very presence in his life had helped him to feel once more. All of the emotional and mental numbness he had felt since coming home from Russia, had been burned away by Amy Holland. She made him feel happiness, contentment, love, pleasure. But also pain. Pain seemed to be a constant in his life now, a permanent friend.

***

Amy stepped into her parents’ house, feeling the wave of familiarity rush through her. The smell of a home she had left many years ago – it was still exactly the same. It hadn’t been that long since she and Lucas had been visiting for new year, but this was different. Today marked the day she would be staying for longer. Maybe until all of this blew over, and then she could be with Lucas again. So she hoped.

“Your mum isn’t home yet, but I’ve burned the photos. I can’t let her see those. What happened, Amy? The truth, please,” Richard asked, his voice was low but firm. He had never been a demanding man, instead always being gentle with his daughters. But today had shown Amy just how fierce he really could be. “You know who sent those images, don’t you?”

“It’s all secret information…”

“No, Amy! I won’t have that shit,” Richard growled. “Tell me. I don’t care if it’s top secret and a risk to national security, or whatever, you’re my daughter and I deserve to know what happened to you.”

Amy stood in the kitchen and looked up at her dad who was waiting for an answer. He had his arms folded and his face was set in a straight expression.

“The woman who shot me was Lucas’ ex and a CIA agent. She faked her death because she killed her boss and went on the run. Then she must have found out about me and Lucas, and tried to make me think he wasn’t really in love with me. And she collared us outside the café that morning and went to shoot Lucas, but I stopped her. And Lucas killed her.”

Richard sighed and held his hand to his mouth. “Fucking hell, Amy.”

“It was Sarah’s brother who took me hostage, wanting to get revenge on him. Apparently, the accomplice of Simon Caulfield was Sarah’s ex-husband; I was told that in the hospital. They went rogue together to get revenge on Lucas.”

“And you were still prepared to stay with him after all this?” Richard asked, his eyes wide.

“I love him,” Amy replied softly. Tears were falling down her cheeks again. “I’ve never loved anyone else like this, and he actually loves me back. For so long I never felt I’d ever find a man who could love me...”

“Oh, love,” Richard sighed. He took Amy into his arms and held her tight as she wept on him. Through tears, Richard looked up at the ceiling, asking in prayer for the strength to be what his daughter needed.

Once Sharon was home from work, Richard explained the whole story to his wife.

“Where are the photos, Rich?” Sharon asked. Her dark eyes were wide with shock and her hands were shaking.

Amy was sat at the other end of the table, feeling as though her whole body was closed off. She hung her head, feeling ashamed of everything that had occurred.

“It doesn’t matter about the photos. I got rid of them. I wasn’t letting you see them,” Richard replied.

Sharon walked towards her daughter. She was slow and deliberate, and her gaze was locked on her daughter’s arms. Her skin was concealed by a thick jumper. Sharon leaned down and gently pushed the sleeve up on Amy’s left arm. “Oh, God,” she gasped, seeing black and purple bruising around Amy’s wrist.

***

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#Lucas North #Richard Armitage #Spooks #MI5 #Lucas North x OC #Original Female Character #Fanfiction

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uni-seahorse-572 · 2 years

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Sophie's Telepathy throughout her younger years makes it legitimately fascinating how she might relate to others.

For one, there's the possibility that she'd be scarily observant - after all, she could have learned how to connect thoughts with facial expressions, with tones of voice and slight movements. It's so natural to her that she's eerily good at guessing what someone's thinking without reading their mind.

Or she could have learned to rely too much on Telepathy. Maybe she can't interpret others' expressions at all; she relied too much on her Telepathy. She never needed to think about whether that look on someone's face meant they were worried when their mind was shouting exactly why they were at her, so she has no idea what she's doing. Sophie goes from complete understanding of what's on someone's mind to having no clue in an instant.

Also, I think trust would be incredibly weird for her. Of course she isn't going to believe people when they, say, compliment her - she grew up seeing all the ways what people thought was different what they meant! Sophie knew what everyone around her really thought and observed the disparities between that and their actions, took note of every lie (harmless and otherwise) and came to the conclusion that each interaction is laden with deceit and double meaning.

#there's no way this girl relates to others like a normal person!!!!!#so it's not all that surprising that she's crazy oblivious #also like. everyone in her life pre-lost cities wasn't all that nice to her #even her parents were struggling with all the ways she was strange #so the people who seemed to love her? sophie knew every bad thing they thought about her!#she knew what Amy thought when they were in the thick of fighting!#she knew what her mom thought when she acted out!#she knew all the little thoughts in people's heads that we don't really mean and probably took them at face value #she's received so many confusing mixed messages her whole life #and she doesn't know what's going on anymore #honestly? that whole lady galvin situation must have felt crazy natural at first #her teachers' and classmates' thoughts were unavoidable during tests and the like #so she got the same thing there!! and it was what people in the lost cities taught her that gave her that guilt #not her own morality that'd been grown over time #ari shouts into the void #kotlc #sophie foster

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babyen-ami · 3 years

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Smile

Lee Heeseung/reader | childhood best friends to lovers | fluff & angst.

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: depictions of violence, minor character death, alcohol abuse, ideas of self-harm and worthlessness, running away from problems.

Synopsis: Heeseung has always been your best friend. the person that has always supported you through thick and thin. the person with the most beautiful smile, that could light up your whole life. how could you not fall for him?

Notes: This is also published on AO3 under hapenguin. hope you like it!

The first memory you had of Heeseung was when You were 4 years old. It was an amazingly simple memory, only him smiling at you, with a big, beautiful smile that Made his eyes crease. It was a bright, sunny day. Hence why you were outside playing. You had been chasing him around the garden when he stopped abruptly making you stumble into him and land on top of him. You held out your hand to prevent any injuries, but that only made the situation first because you put all the weight of the fall on your hand that encountered a branch and fresh blood sprung out. Heeseung looked at you with a sheepish smile while you cried your eyes out. He kept repeating how sorry he was and even through your tears you were able to give him a small smile and tell him it was all forgiven. That was enough for the little boy because he was suddenly offering you the most beautiful and grand smile in the world while he held your other hand. His smile distracted you, it calmed you down. and just like that, tears that had been flowing freely came to a sudden halt. He always had a way of calming you. He was the person that kept you grounded even when you were only 4 years old. And His smiles would always be the reason for your smiles. That specific memory was your favorite image in the world.

When You were fourteen your mother died and even though Heeseung's smile made you feel a bit better at the funeral, it could not make up for what you would have to live from there on out. after that, your father had never been the same. At that age you had to start doing whatever work you could only to pay for the bills, so your drunk of a father could keep up with his habits.

After two weeks of you working your ass off and not being able to hang out with Heeseung, he found out. He had walked to your house only to find your dad passed out on the sofa surrounded by bottles of whiskey. Heeseung waited for you to come home on your porch. You finally made it by nine and the moment he looked at you, you saw in his eyes that he knew everything. "How long?" He asked softly. You grimaced but answered, nonetheless. "He's been drinking since my mom died but I've only been working a few weeks."

He did not say a word after that, only stood up and hugged you. Nobody had hugged you since the funeral, and it was like your mind came to accept the reality all at once. Tears started to slip from your eyes, and you murmured "I'm exhausted."

Two years later, you and Heeseung were a well-oiled machine. He was your rock, the person you could always trust and lean on. While you worked 2 part-time jobs and got home to make dinner for your father, he helped by doing your homework and making sure your father didn't kill himself or break something when he got home smelling like alcohol and drugs. You loved your dad, but you also knew that you shouldn't be forced to deal with all of this. You were only 16 for crying out loud. You also loved Heeseung. He had always been a pretty boy in your eyes. even when you were 6 years old and "boys had cooties" you thought that he was pretty and that his smile could light every aspect of your being. But now... You had no words to explain what he meant to you. Sometimes you would get home and he would be there having tucked your dad into bed and waiting for you with a bowl of ramen. In those moments, the only thing that could cross your mind was how beautiful he was, and how thankful you were for having him, and how much you wanted to kiss him. And then he would follow you to bed and he would smile at you and everything would feel better, all your worries dissipated just by looking at his beautiful smile. Then, he would wait until you fell asleep because he knew that if he left before you fell asleep you would stay up all night worried about a hundred different things. And he would sing for you, and each time that he did, you fought to stay awake wanting to hear his voice forever.

It was the first Saturday you had off in weeks and you woke up early deciding that for one day, you would just forget all of it. You walked to Heeseung's house and were received by his mom. She welcomed you with a big smile and a hug and you asked her if you could go wake up Heeseung. She nodded. "But before you go up, could I talk with you?" She asked. "Oh yeah of course"

She led you into the kitchen and offered you coffee which you gladly accepted. "Heeseung has been getting home very late" she started. "Oh, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry" you said hurriedly. "Oh, no honey don't worry I'm not mad. I talked with him 3 days ago and he explained the situation." Your eyes widened and your gut tightened. You wanted to run back to your house. "H-he told you?" You stammered. "Don't worry and please don't be mad at him. I want to help." "You want to help?" You repeated. "Are you going to repeat everything I say?" She said with a smile. "You are always welcome here, and you can ask me for whatever you need," she added. "That's extremely kind of you. Thank you so much" you said quickly because you could feel the heaviness of tears at the bottom of your throat. "You are like a daughter to me so don't even worry about it, now go wake Heeseung up," she said patting your leg in a motherly fashion.

You landed beside Heeseung's body that was currently sprawled on the bed and he grunted. "Wake up," you said in a sing-song tone. He mumbled something like go away but you kept on insisting until he grabbed you by the waist and tugged you so you were lying beside him and then he did something that made your heartbeat so fast you were scared you would have a heart attack. He held you against him. "No, no Heeseung" you whined "it's my only day off and I am not spending it trying to wake you up" you added. He grunted but let you go. He then proceeded to rub his eyes, sit up and smile the sleepiest smile he could muster.

It was 3 in the afternoon and you were laying on the grass of the park near your house. Heeseung was beside you leaning against a tree. Heeseung had been talking about BigHit entertainment, which was a big company right now in the kpop industry thanks to BTS. Heeseung has always adored music. Even when you were he would always be singing and dancing. It was something he was truly passionate about and you could see it in his eyes every time the topic was brought up. "I mean it's just an idea, they're holding auditions, and well..." He was saying nervously as he looked at your blank face. The words in question brought you out of your reverie. "You should totally do it," you said, frankly. "But that means I would have to move to Seoul and it's..." He trailed off. "First make sure you pass the audition. Seungie let's take this one step at a time." You were sure he would pass the audition. He was incredibly talented, and any company would be lucky to have him. You had to tell him to chase his dreams no matter how much it hurt you to see him leave. "Yeah, you're right. Wait! Did you just call me Seungie?" He asked and you just smiled sheepishly at him. "You haven't called me that since we were like ten," he said with a smile.

The auditions passed and the results came. Of course, Heeseung had made it, he was incredibly talented. He came running all the way to your house to tell you that he had passed, only to find you picking up pieces of glass that were scattered all over the living room. "What happened?" He asked forgetting all about the audition. "He hadn't been home in a couple of days and when he got here, I told him that he couldn't just disappear and that I was worried. He started fighting with me and threw the bottle of whiskey against the wall" you answered and carried on with picking up the pieces of the bottle. Heeseung knew it wasn't the best time to tell you, but he had to. "I got in. I'm gonna be a trainee for BigHit" he said quietly. The statement caught you so off base that a piece of glass slipped from your hands and in your reflex to catch it, you cut your hand. "Ow!" You gasped.

You were both in the bathroom. You were sitting on the edge of the sink while he tended to your cut. "I'm not gonna go to Seoul," he said. "What, why not?" You asked immediately. "I can't leave you..." He almost whispered. But you heard him loud and clear. "Don't worry about me. I mean, of course, having your help has been a gift, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stopped you from following your dream" you said firmly "I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself. Plus, I'm not alone, I have your mom" you added looking him in the eyes. He had just finished putting a band-aid over the cut and his fingers moved up to grab your wrist and pull you down from the sink, while he kept on looking into your eyes. You had always been short. But right now, looking in his eyes, you had to tilt your chin up to be able to do it. He leaned his head down and all the alarms in your mind started going off like crazy. Was he going to kiss you? he was looking at you so heavily and his eyes would drift quickly to your lips and then back up to your eyes. This was it; you were finally going to kiss Heeseung. But before anything else could happen you heard your father yell your name making the both of you jump apart.

The chatter of passenger's surrounded you while you walked next to Heeseung and his family to the gate of the train in which your best friend would be going off to achieve his dream. Your mind was cluttered, and your heartfelt heavy with all of the emotions you were feeling. You were unbelievably proud of him and sure that he would prove just how talented he was. But at the same time, you couldn't help but think about how hard it was going to be without him. Not only were you going to miss him helping you out with all your problems, but you were also going to miss him as your best friend.

After the almost-kiss-incident in the bathroom the other day, you had decided that you were gonna kiss him goodbye today. You couldn’t live with yourself if he left without knowing how you felt for him. plus, you were a hundred percent sure that he would debut, and he would become famous, so you were also a hundred percent sure that you would probably not be seeing much of Heeseung again. It was now or never.

He suddenly stopped and you crashed lightly into him. You were in front of his gate. Heeseung said his goodbyes to his family and his mother started crying softly, so he hugged her again and whispered soothing words in her ear. He then turned to you. There were already unshed tears filling your eyes and he grimaced, grabbing your hand. He hugged you and whispered in your ear "what if I don't leave?" when he said those words, you felt a chill run through you. What if you kissed him and that just increases his desire to not leave? It was only a what-if, but you couldn’t risk making that what if come true. So, you refrained from kissing him.

You pushed him lightly so you could look into his eyes. "If you don't leave, I'm gonna drag you there by your ear," you said sternly. "But... I'm going to miss you" he said sheepishly. "And I'm going to miss you, but we'll talk every chance we get," you said but he still looked torn on whether to get on the waiting train or not. "I'm gonna be fine," you said and shoved him subtly in the direction of the train "go," you told him softly, but he didn't move. He just kept looking at you. So, you shoved him harder "go," you said louder this time. He gave you one last glance and then turned around to get on the train.

It was difficult talking with Heeseung, he was always rehearsing or extremely tired, and you were always working or taking care of your father. But even though it was hard, your chat could show just how much you told each other about your day-to-day. He would talk to you about the song he was currently practicing, and you would tell him about the weird customer that came into the restaurant that day.

two whole years passed this way. dying to see each other but never really having the time or energy. You knew Heeseung called his mother at least once a week, but you were never there when he did. So that's why you considered it extremely weird to have him calling you while he knew you were at work. You chanced a glance at your boss only to see she was busy, so you answered the video call. You were met with his beautiful smiling face. You had seen many pictures that he normally sent to his mom but seeing him smiling in real-time even if it was through a screen made your heart flutter. He had gotten even more handsome if that was possible. "It's been way too long," he said "I've missed your ugly face," he added teasingly. you rolled your eyes but smiled, nonetheless. "I'm at work, can we talk later?" you whispered. "right sorry, it's just something really quick," he told you and then added, "you know the series Big hit and Belift are making to see who the next band to debut will be?" you hummed in agreement and he continued "well I got in." A huge smile made its way onto your face "Seungie that's amazing!" you all but screamed and your boss turned to look at you with a scowl. "Does your mom know? she's going to be so excited." He laughed looking at you fondly "no, you're the first person I wanted to tell" his eyes showed a certain softness that you couldn't quite pinpoint but made you feel giddy. "you're gonna do amazing," you said. "thanks" A weird silence settled over the both of you before he blurted out "I miss you" at the same time your boss grabbed your phone and hung up the call.

Once I-land was announced and the schedule was set for each Friday, you negotiated working extra hours on other days just so you could see Heeseung and feel proud of him. it was the first Friday I-land would be airing and you were currently sitting on the floor of Heeseung's house. His mother and father were both on the couch and his brother was on the individual sofa. "I can't believe my little brother is going to be in a series," His brother said, and you smiled openly proud. "shush it's starting," Mrs. Lee said patting her son's leg.

I-land was a beautiful place, and you were almost jealous of Heeseung. It was surreal seeing him on TV, and he looked so handsome. It was also funny seeing all the other boys fawn over their Hyung. You weren't even surprised when he got into I-land. He was that talented. Seeing him, looking so happy made you happy too. As it had always been, His smile made you smile too. You hadn't felt your heart so light since he had left. It was the best day you had in a while, but that only lasted until you got home. You had stayed at the Lee's household way longer than you would have stayed at work, and for that reason, you weren't home to pick your dad from the stairs and get him into bed.

When you stepped into the house, it was deadly quiet, but your father was sitting calmly in the living room. When he saw you walk in, he spoke. "Where have you been?" "At Heeseung's house," you said. You didn't understand, he didn't seem drunk, but you still couldn't remember the last time he had not been drunk. "Oh, so while you whore around I have to starve to death?" He asked hotly. you walked closer to your father and sniffed him. He reeked of alcohol. "and here I was thinking you could actually be sober" you murmured walking over to the kitchen to make him some dinner.

When you walked to the living room with a hot plate of food, you found your dad sprawled out drinking directly from a bottle. You grabbed his wrist and took the bottle away from him. "no, if I'm going to make you dinner and keep on looking after you, you have to at least drink less!" you exclaimed filled with rage. "you're just a little bitch" he growled and pushed you, making the hot soup land on your arm. Your father grabs the bottle and leaves you to clean up.

Heeseung was sitting eating breakfast while everybody talked cheerfully. "What's wrong Heeseung Hyung?" Jungwon asked and almost everyone turned to look at him. "What do you mean?" "Well, you seem kind of quiet" Geonu chirped. "It's just because I miss my family, I wish I could call them" Heeseung answered simply. "But that's not it," K Hyung said "I mean, we all miss our family" he added looking firmly at Heeseung. "There's a girl!" K exclaimed after a while. It was as if all hell had broken loose. "Tell us about her" somebody yelled and Heeseung felt himself blush. "No, no there's no girl”. "Then why are you blushing?" K asked. Heeseung groaned loudly and said, "her name is y/n, she's my best friend and she has no idea that I like her."

It was the Fourth Friday the show had been airing, and you were currently sprawled on the couch in the Lee's living room. You had now learned to leave food on the table for your dad, and to hide every alcohol bottle in the house. But it seemed you hadn't hidden them well enough because when you walked into your house you found your dad sitting on the living room floor drunk out of his mind and crying over a picture of your mom. All the lights in the house were off and the only light was in the form of a candle surrounding your father. you went to turn on some lights but even if you moved the switch, it wouldn’t turn on. You had forgotten to pay the electric bill. You walked clutching the wall all the way to the bathroom and looked under the loose floorboard where you kept the emergency money. It would all be fine. You would go first thing tomorrow and pay the bill. Except it wasn’t going to be okay. There was no money.

“Dad… did you take the money?” you asked. “yeah! bought some whiskey” he murmured happily and that was your limit for today. You felt tears slip down your cheeks as you ran all the way to the familiar door. The door where Heeseung had always waited for you with open arms. The only difference was that this time, the door opened to reveal a Lee that wasn’t the Lee you wanted. But you still let him envelop you in his open arms…

The next day you sold your phone to be able to pay for the electricity bill, and also save up a little bit. A month ago, the idea of selling your cell phone was completely out of the picture, because it was the only thing that kept you connected to Heeseung. But now… he was busy, and would probably be busy from here on, so you wouldn’t need to keep in contact with him.

Once Heeseung got hold of his phone again, the first person he called, to tell that he had made it to the second part of I-land, was you. But you didn’t answer, all he heard was a beep and a mechanical voice informing him the line had been disconnected. He felt himself grow worried immediately. He called his mom. She answered after two rings. “I got into the second part of the show,” he said almost breathlessly, and his mom screamed in joy. “I knew you would make it; you are so talented. my boy,” she said happily and they both spoke for a while before Heeseung asked. “What happened to y/n’s phone?” “she sold it” was his mother’s short answer “she is probably coming by later if you want to talk to her” she added. “Yeah, I’ll call later,” he said. But he didn’t call. It felt weird not knowing everything that was going on in his best friend’s life. Was this how it was going to be from now on? he hated to think that way, but it seemed as if you didn’t need him anymore.

The second part of I-land started and although you wanted to support Heeseung so badly, you just couldn’t because you were working extra shifts, saving up money, finding ways to stop your father from drinking, and trying to hold yourself up by putting together the pieces of your heart with tape. You had been sleeping at Heeseung’s family house to avoid interactions with your father, but you needed to get some clothes and things from the house. You gathered your courage and opened the door to the house and stepped inside. The house was completely quiet and the sight that greeted you made your blood run cold.

your father was passed out drunk in the middle of the living room. You swore loudly and dropped to the floor beside him to take his pulse. his heart was beating as strong as ever. You knew the best option was to take him to the emergency room, but you didn’t have a car, you didn’t have the money and you didn’t have the will to answer all the questions that were bound to be thrown your way in the hospital. So, gathering all your strength, you dragged your dad to the couch and then proceeded to tuck him in comfortably with a blanket. You decided to take his pulse every few minutes to make sure everything was okay; you also grabbed a bucket to put beside his face for when he started throwing up.

After about an hour you were starting to get extremely worried. tears were streaming down your face and your heart filled with so many emotions you couldn’t understand anything. You were angry at him because he was supposed to be your father, he should be taking care of you, making you happy, but here he was making you grow up before you had to. It wasn’t fair that you had to live through all of this. You were sad and worried because you didn’t want anything to happen to him. Yes, he was horrible with you, and most of the time you hated him, but he was still your father. You were also angry at yourself for feeling sorry for the person who had made your life miserable. Your dad suddenly grunted and stirred on the couch. You felt like oxygen could finally enter your lungs.

You had already grabbed everything you needed and put it into a backpack. Seeing as you had nothing else to do while he woke up, you let anger overtake you. Angry tears streamed down your face as you raided the house looking for every bottle of alcohol you could find. gathering everything in the kitchen, you started opening them and emptying them in the sink not caring about how much noise you were making, and that was your mistake. You were down to the last bottle when you heard a loud cry behind you, and a pair of hands grabbed you, flinging you to the other side of the kitchen.

Your cheek impacted against the oven and you felt something hot trickle down and mingle with your tears. “WHAT DID YOU DO!?” your father asked, and you looked at him blabbering like a fish out of the water “since you decided to be a bitch, give me money to buy more” he added firmly, and although you were shaking with all your might, you said “no” “What did you say?” he said, approaching you and you scrambled to your feet. “I said no!” you screamed “I deserve a father, not this poor attempt you’ve been giving me. You always talk about how YOU lost her, how YOU miss her, how YOU don’t know how to live without her. But let me tell you that I LOST HER TOO!” you continued “and not only did I lose her, but I also lost you too” you finished only to feel a hard slap against your bleeding cheek.

You could see so much anger in his eyes, you immediately started backing up until your back hit the wall. He walked to you and clasped his hand around your throat. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about her” he said through clenched teeth. You were trying but failing miserably at getting air in your system and he seemed to notice you were becoming purple because he let go. You dropped to the ground panting wildly trying to compose your erratic breathing and he kicked you. You grunted in pain. “leave and don’t ever come back,” he said “I don’t even want to see you in this town. If you stay here I’ll know where to find you and not only will I hurt you, but I will also hurt your precious boyfriend’s family” He finished menacingly and you ran grabbing the backpack on your way out. It was already getting dark, so you knew you would have to wait until tomorrow to be able to do something. You decided to go to the people that had treated you better than your own family.

Mrs. Lee heard a knock on the door and went to open it, knowing she would find y/n on the other side. But what she couldn’t have known was that she would find y/n crying, with blood all over her face and the beginning of bruises on her neck. “God! what happened?” she asked worriedly ushering you in. you could barely talk, but in between your sobs, you managed to choke out “my dad” and Mrs. Lee didn’t need any more information to understand what had happened.

Heeseung had no way of knowing that while he was celebrating having obtained second place in the test for that week, you were having the worst day of your life. His prize for obtaining second place was the right to make one phone call. He immediately thought of you, but then remembered you didn’t have a phone anymore. He settled with calling his brother who answered on the fifth ring. “Hello?” “Hyung” Heeseung greeted happily.

You were standing in the kitchen with Heeseung’s brother talking about what had happened when his phone rang. After picking it up a giant smile spread on his face. “Heeseung-ah!” he exclaimed, “what’s going on?” you could hear Heeseung’s giggles through the phone, so when his brother looked at you asking for permission to tell him what had happened, you softly shook your head.

Heeseung laughed loudly as his brother made fun of him and told him that Jay was more handsome than him. He then spoke with his mom, who gave him encouraging words and told him how much she missed and loved him. All this while he knew the cameras were on him, but to speak with the person he wanted to speak to, he wanted to be truly alone. So, he headed to the bathroom. “Mom is y/n there?” he asked softly before his mother could hang up.

what Heeseung didn’t know was that he was on speaker mode and you had heard everything. you nodded softly at Heeseung’s mom and she handed you the phone. “hi” you breathed and Heeseung felt as if his heart wanted to leave his body and find yours. “I’ve missed you,” he said, and you told him that you had also missed him. “I know you probably don’t have much time so I’ll be quick” you started “you are doing amazing on the show and I know for sure that you will debut, and you will be a great idol, and you will help thousands of people to be better just like you did with me.” “Why are you speaking like this?” he asked. “let me finish,” you said, and he kept quiet so you continued “just promise me you won’t forget who you are, and whenever you feel like you can’t, remember all the times you helped me achieve something and believe I am right there with you helping you achieve it” you exhaled and he whispered, “I promise.” “Seungie” you also whispered. “yeah?” “I like you, as more than a friend. I have for a while now” you told him “and don’t say anything, go win the competition and then we’ll talk.” you said your goodbyes and you both stared at the phone similarly, except that the emotions for both of you were completely different.

He was looking at the phone with the biggest smile he could muster. He was genuinely happy. You liked him and he liked you. And once he got to debut and everything, he would help you leave your father’s house, and you would both be happy. He couldn’t wait for what tomorrow would bring. You were looking at the phone while tears dripped down your face, knowing that that was the last time you would speak to him because the next day you would be leaving and not looking back. You dreaded what tomorrow would bring.

Heeseung was picked through the global vote, to debut as a member of Enhypen. Once he was backstage getting ready for a photoshoot after the results had been announced, Heeseung called his mom. He was begging that you were there with her. "Mom!" He said happily. "Honey we just saw it all live. We are so proud of you" she said and after a couple of questions from her, Heeseung was finally able to ask the question that he had been dying to ask since his mom had picked up. "Is y/n there?" he asked. “Heeseung… Uhm...she left.” “oh, isn’t it late for her to be working?” “No Heeseung-ah, things hadn’t been great between y/n and her father, she was basically living here. The day you called, she had gone home to get some things and she came back beaten black and blue. He almost killed her. You called but she didn’t want to worry or distract you with her problems, we didn’t think much of it because we assumed, she would eventually tell you everything. But the next day, we woke up and she was gone with all her things, and we haven’t heard anything from her… that was weeks ago” His mom said. A heavy silence settled between them. “Are you okay honey?” his mother asked worriedly. “I-I am mom… C-can I call you lat-ter?” he stuttered quickly into the phone and before she could give an affirmative, he was already hanging up.

Heeseung thought he was gonna be sick. Fuck, fuck you were gone, and he had no idea what to do to find you. He couldn’t call you; you had no phone. He couldn’t ask your father… because well he was a bastard. They couldn’t report you as a missing person because you were an adult, and they weren’t your family. He felt the beginning of a panic attack. He couldn’t breathe knowing that he might never see you again, never hug you again, he would never be able to kiss you, and that hurt. Jungwon noticed his Hyung was looking pale and having trouble breathing on the car ride to their new dorm. “are you okay?” he asked but Heeseung was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t seem to hear him. all the boys looked at Heeseung waiting for his answer, but nothing came. Sunoo shoved his elder lightly and Heeseung snapped out of it looking at them with an almost scared look on his face. The other boys were worried, but they also knew that they were being recorded for “Enhypen & Hi” so when Heeseung said he would tell them later, they all agreed quietly. Once they were all in the comfort of their own beds and the cameras had been turned off, Heeseung told them everything. From the death of your mother, his feelings for you, your feelings for him, your abusive father, and the fact you had run away, and he would never see you again. None of the boys knew what to say. They understood why you had run away, but they could also see how much it was hurting their Hyung. They couldn’t do much more than telling Heeseung that everything would be fine, even when they had no idea if that was true.

Heeseung debuted. Of course, he debuted. He was talented, kind-hearted, and drop-dead gorgeous. You felt proud.

But you also felt broken...

You were currently working cleaning tables and washing dishes in a run-down restaurant. The pay wasn’t the best, but it was what you could get. It kept you alive, fed... with a roof over your head, but most importantly safe and away from your dad. You missed the Lee’s, missed Heeseung’s mom’s delightful cooking and their warm house. You missed their stories and their affection. But most of all you missed Heeseung. And seeing him on tv doing interviews, talking about his inspirations, and looking the happiest you had ever seen him, or on billboards looking fantastic modeling some new item of clothing or announcing some brand, was a bittersweet pill. It was bitter because you were selfish. And you wanted to be with him, you wanted his beautiful smiles to be only for you like they always had been. You were also jealous of the girls who now got to hear him sing, and you wished that things were different. But they weren’t different and there was nothing you could do about it. But it was sweet because you loved him, and he was happy. He had achieved his goals and the band had now been going for two years strong. He was a fan favorite, he had money, he was surrounded by friends, and still had a good relationship with his family. And at the end of the day, you really couldn’t ask for more. If he was happy, so were you.

It had been almost four years since you had run away. You were sharing an apartment in a neighborhood where you finally didn’t have to worry about somebody breaking and entering in the middle of the night. Your roommate was your co-worker at one of the finest restaurants in Seoul. You were a waitress, and the pay was good. you finally felt financially and emotionally stable. Your life finally felt okay. Of course, you still missed Heeseung, he was the love of your life. But you didn’t think about him as often. You knew he was still a part of Enhypen because you saw him in ads and interviews, but you didn’t try to know much about him because it didn’t do you any good to still be pining after him. You had to move on.

The two maknaes had been yapping Heeseung’s ears off for about a week, constantly talking about the new hip restaurant in Seoul and how they were really dying to go try it. He wasn’t surprised when their manager told them that everything had been arranged and they would be going to dinner at that restaurant. supposedly, the restaurant had really good food and a very hip theme, but he really hadn’t paid much attention to what Sunoo had been saying.

you arrived for your shift at the restaurant and your boss Mina called you to the side before you could start. “Y/n-shi, I just wanted to ask if you could handle a couple of VIP customers that are coming at seven,” she said. “Uhm yeah of course” “Great, the hostess will guide them to their separate table and tell you so you can serve them. Is that alright?” Mina asked. “Yeah, it’s fine,” you said, and she reminded you to be on your best behavior before leaving you to work.

The hostess guided them to a separate room with a courteous smile and Heeseung sat in between jake and jay. They were handed menus and told their waitress would be with them in a bit. The boys were talking loudly while Heeseung had his head stuck in the menu reading over what he wanted to eat.

The hostess of the restaurant told you that the VIP customers were waiting at their private table, so you started walking there while you redid your high ponytail. once you got to the table you cleared your throat and grabbed your notepad and your pen. “Hello, my name is y/n and I will be your server tonight,” you said without looking up. And you did not look up until you heard an interested sound. In front of you were the boys from Enhypen and a very pale-looking Heeseung.

“Oh! you have the same name as the girl Hyung used to love” The one you recognized as Niki said looking at Heeseung and then back at you. Niki noticed you were both looking at each other with your eyes wide open and pale in the face and immediately shut up. Heeseung was here. sitting right in front of you. He looked so grown up, and so handsome. seeing him there made you want to just go up to him and hug him. “it’s really you?” Heeseung said almost in a whisper “I’m not dreaming?” he added and that snapped you out of your thoughts. “I-can get-t someone else to waiter you if-f it’s too uncomfortable” you rushed out tripping over your words. You turned hastily around ready to bolt out of the room before you had to face further embarrassment. “wait!” a voice called, but it wasn’t Heeseung’s. You turned back to them “you’re really Heeseung’s y/n?” Jungwon added. your heart fluttered wildly at the thought of being Heeseung’s. You were lost for words, so you nodded softly playing with your hands. Jay suddenly spoke up “uhm… let’s all go to the bathroom,” he said awkwardly shoving all of the members in the direction of the bathroom so you and Heeseung could talk in private.

Heeseung could feel his hands sweating. He no longer knew how to talk to you, or at least he didn’t know how to start this conversation. “I missed you” he suddenly blurted out and saw how your cheeks filled with color. “I missed you too,” you said, and he felt his heart start to thump at a crazy pace. During the last few years, he had told his members many times that he was over you, but that just wasn’t true. He decided to stand up because it felt weird having this conversation when you were both in different levels of height. “Why didn’t you tell me about what happened with your dad?” he asked, “or why didn’t you stay and let my family help you?” he added. “he threatened me, that if I stayed, he would not only harm me but also your family and I...” you let silence overtake the room while you put your ideas in order. “I just couldn’t let that happen.” Your eyes showed so much emotion that he took a step closer and you took a shaky intake of breath. “And I didn’t tell you because you would’ve wanted to help, but I couldn’t ask for your help when you were that close to achieving your dreams,” you said looking at the wall on your left. Heeseung suddenly invaded your personal space and engulfed you in a hug. you were frozen to the spot for a couple of seconds, but then you hugged him back. “I am so glad you are okay. I was so worried” he whispered into the hug and you felt tears start to sting at your eyes. “You told me the night I called you that you liked me, do you still like me?” he asked, and you gave a shy nod. His eyes lit up and he grabbed your chin. “That night, you also told me not to say anything until I debuted, and I finally debuted. So here it is I love you, I have for a while now” he said and let his hand engulf your cheek while his lips came onto yours in a kiss.

#enhypen #enhypen fic #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #engene #kpop #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios

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carry-the-sky · 3 years

Text

crashing in a million years late to fill the prompt “kastle + indigo skies just before dawn” from @juniperfandoms. i’m so sorry for the lateness, but i hope you enjoy! :D

oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,

and you fill my head with you.

Karen is used to waking up with the sun. Even before the Bulletin, before she was chasing down stories over cups of days-old coffee, eyes itchy with exhaustion as night bled into morning, even then it was just something she did. She’s never slept easy.

She doesn’t mind, though. There’s something about the way the city feels just before dawn, already restless and humming with potential energy. A new day—anything can happen.

There’s a bouquet of flowers on her desk at work. Roses—every last one of them white. Karen blinks at them, then bites her lip to cage the laugh that’s working its way up her throat.

He’s consistent, at least. She’ll give him that.

She can see a small piece of paper tied to one of the stems, and her pulse kicks up a notch. She remembers with stinging clarity what he told her in that hospital room, how resolute his rejection had been. Another door, slammed in her face. She should be furious with him, and she is, but—

But. Another part of her remembers light across water and his lips pressed to the hollow of her cheek, a stalled-out elevator and silence thick with all the words they couldn’t say to each other. Gunshots, his hands in her hair and the weight of him pressing her to the floor.

She trusts him. Always has, even when it didn’t make sense to. She still does.

The thought propels her forward, fingers grasping the note and eyes hastily scanning the words written there. There’s a familiar address, and beneath that:

Taking your advice.

He’s sitting on one of the benches when she gets there. She has to squint a bit against the sun, but there he is, one leg bouncing slightly and his hands clasped loosely at his knees. He’s staring across the water, away from her.

He looks the same. He looks like Frank.

“I have a phone, you know,” Karen says, and his head snaps in her direction. He stands as she approaches, one hand rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that’s achingly familiar.

“Wasn’t sure you wanted to see me,” he says.

Karen meets his gaze. His eyes are as dark as she remembers, but there’s something else, a softness she hasn’t seen before. It makes her heart clench, all her resolve and quiet anger dissolving on her tongue. Before she can talk herself down, she’s surging forward and pulling him into a hug.

He’s warm, solid in her arms. Karen’s pulse flutters when his hands slide around her waist. His touch is hesitant, careful—like he’s afraid he’ll hurt her. She holds him a bit tighter.

“And now?” she asks, voice muffled slightly where her mouth is pressed to his shoulder.

She feels it when he smiles, his lips curving against her temple. “Still all heart, huh?”

They pull away at the same time, slowly. She still can’t quite believe that this is real, that he’s standing here with her, his face free of bruises and a wry grin tugging the corners of his mouth. It’s honestly more than she thought she would ever get again.

She says as much, sliding onto the closest bench. “What changed, Frank?”

“Me,” he admits. “Didn’t wanna admit it, but—I was tired. All my bullshit—I was tired of all of it. Started thinking about Lisa and Junior—if they could see me, Karen—“

She reaches for his hand, squeezes gently.

“You were right, yeah?” he says. “What you said, about life. How we’re just fighting not to be alone. Figured I was fighting for all the wrong shit.”

Her heart is in her throat. She hopes she isn’t imagining the look on his face, raw and vulnerable. Hopes she isn’t making something more out of this than what’s really there. She trusts him, yes—against her better judgment—but he’s pushed her away more than once. She needs to know that this means something.

“Frank—“ she starts to say at the same moment her phone alarm trills. He gently pulls his hand away, and she knows she isn’t imagining the way the pad of his thumb lingers on her wrist. She wants to reach for him again—instead, she fishes out her phone. She’s late for a meeting with a source, and she’s already rescheduled once.

“Work,” she says, trying to veil her disappointment. “I should probably go.”

Frank’s lips twitch. “Look forward to readin’ about it on the front page.”

“Shut up,” she says, but she’s smiling.

He glances down as she stands, then tilts his head to catch her eyes again. He looks like he wants to say something, lips slightly parted and his eyes on her, unflinching. It’s a stark contrast to the last time they were here, when he was still fighting his war, still scared. He’d walked away first—showing her he cared, the only way he knew how. He’s not walking away now.

“I’ll see you soon,” she says, more a statement than a question.

Frank’s eyes soften. “Soon,” he echoes.

It almost sounds like a promise.

He’s outside her apartment a week later, a bag of groceries in hand.

Karen huffs a laugh. “So, when you said you wanted to do dinner—“

She says it lightly enough, but she doesn’t miss the frown that flickers across his face, there and gone the next moment. “This okay?” he asks, and something twinges in her chest.

“Frank. I’ve been living off of ramen and wine for the past week. It’s more than okay.” She’s hoping that will pull a smile out of him, and it does. She’s suspended in the moment, the easy way his mouth creases into a crooked grin. Frank Castle, happy. She could get used to that.

He makes himself at home in the kitchen in a way that should be surprising, but isn’t. Karen can picture him cooking dinner for his family just as easily as he handles a gun. She knows better than most that Frank is more than what people say he is.

Before long, he’s got a pot of spaghetti boiling on one burner and vegetables sautéing on another, filling the room with a savory aroma. Karen’s not even a little embarrassed when her stomach rumbles in appreciation.

They eat on her couch. Neither of them says much, but the silence is comfortable. That’s something she’s always liked about Frank—he doesn’t talk for the sake of it. His words have weight, when he chooses them.

He refuses to let her take care of the dishes—“still old-fashioned, I see,” she jabs—so Karen settles back onto the couch, not quite sure what to do with herself. She’s been on her own for so long, she’s forgotten what it feels like to have someone else in her space—especially when that someone is the Punisher, making her dinner and cleaning her dishes. She casts a glance over her shoulder to see him forearms-deep in soapy water, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on one of the pans.

If someone had told her a week ago that this is how she’d be spending her evening, she would have laughed right in their face.

It’s still light outside, and warm for this time of year, so she grabs two beers and leads him up to her building’s roof. The sun is low in the sky, turning the clouds to cotton-candy. Familiar sounds fill her ears, the rush of traffic, horns blaring.

Karen turns to face Frank, holding up her beer. “To a delicious dinner that covered all the food groups,” she says. “My arteries thank you.”

Frank clinks his bottle against hers. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Seriously, Frank. That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time.”

“Yeah?” He looks at his feet, shifting his weight slightly. “I’m glad. Uh—not that you haven’t had a good meal, but—you know. Glad to help.” He blows out a breath. “Christ.”

“Easy, soldier,” Karen says, nudging him with her elbow. “Take a breath. You’re doing just fine.”

He glances sidelong at her, smirking. “Didn’t think I’d be this nervous to see you again. I feel like a goddamn teenager.”

“It’s me, Frank. I don’t bite.”

He bobs his head, then tips his drink back. Quiet envelops them again, but there’s a tension to it this time, an undercurrent of nerves.

“Can I ask you something?” she finally says.

“Shoot.”

Karen’s stomach churns. A warning sign, maybe, but she pays it no heed. “At the hospital,” she says slowly, tasting each word. “If Amy hadn’t walked in on us—what were you going to do?”

She isn’t looking at him, but she can feel his eyes on her like a brand. Warmth stirs low in her gut. So make it mean something.

He moves closer, reaching to take the beer from her hands. She’s dimly aware of him setting the bottles on the ground, and then he’s touching her, thumb sweeping the line of her jaw. He’s close enough that she can see the creases in the corner of his eyes, a faint shadow of stubble on his cheeks. His eyes dart to her lips.

“Frank,” she breathes, and then his mouth is on hers.

His lips are softer than she expects. She hums low in her throat, arms sliding around his neck to pull him closer. The world narrows to her pulse in her ears, the jagged hitch of Frank’s breath when he pulls back to look at her.

“That answer your question?” he rasps.

She ghosts her lips over his, once, twice. “I need some clarification on a few points.”

Frank grins and kisses her again. His tongue swipes her lower lip, hungry but not demanding, and heat fissures up her spine. She’s wanted this for so long—wanted him—and her heart thuds painfully beneath her ribs as she deepens the kiss. Her hands skate the side of his face and she buries her fingers in his hair, tugging just hard enough to sting.

He breaks away, his mouth trailing a line of fire from her jawline down the column of her throat. Karen gasps, letting her neck fall back. Somehow, he’s positioned her so that her back is against the building—both hands cradle her neck as he presses against her. Her hands are everywhere, sliding down his chest and grasping his waist. She never wants to stop touching him.

Her fingers drop to his pants, fumbling with the zipper, and Frank’s mouth comes crashing fervently back to hers. His fingers dig into her hips, tugging her skirt up so it’s around her waist. Then his hand slips below the fabric and skims the inside of her thigh. Her entire body spasms.

“Shit,” he hisses, dropping his head to the juncture of her shoulder. “We shouldn’t—not here—“

“I have a perfectly good bed downstairs,” she gasps, breathless.

His eyes shutter. “Fuck, Karen.” He tips his forehead to rest against hers. “You sure about this?”

Her heart is so full she thinks it might burst from her chest. She presses a whisper-soft kiss to his cheek, threads their hands together. “Two hands, right?”

This time, he doesn’t let go.

Karen wakes to darkness and an empty bed.

The sheets are tangled between her legs, cool against her bare skin. She draws them around her as she sits up. The other side of the bed is still warm. She sucks in a breath as pieces of the previous night spin behind her eyes like a kaleidoscope—Frank laying her down, his body above, beneath, around her.

Karen untangles herself from the sheets carefully, then feels around the room for her clothes. There’s a trail of discarded garments going down the hallway, and she flushes. They hadn’t quite made it to her bedroom, the first time. She gropes around in the dark until she finds something that feels like a shirt, and it’s only when she’s pulling it over her head that she realizes it’s Frank’s.

The grey of early morning presses behind her living room window, casting fractured shadows across the floor. Karen doesn’t see him on the couch or in the kitchen. Her pulse skips a beat. If he left without saying goodbye—

She’s giving the room another sweeping glance when she spots his silhouette on the fire escape. Grinning despite herself, she opens the window and crawls through to join him.

He’s perched on the balcony, wrapped in the throw blanket from her couch. “Hey,” he says when he sees her, voice gravelly with sleep. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

She shakes her head. “I’m an early-riser. I think the last time I slept past six a.m. was when I was in school.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She shuffles closer and Franks spreads an arm wide, draping half of the blanket over her shoulders as she settles beside him. The city is quiet, but there are stirrings of life—lights flicking on in apartments across the street, the rattle of a metal security gate as the bakery below opens up for the day. The sky above them is still dark, but the horizon blushes pink and indigo.

A new day. Anything could happen.

She’s not sure how long she stares out across the city, but she jolts a little when Frank’s lips brush softly against her temple.

“Easy,” he says, his breath warm on her skin. “I don’t bite.”

“Using my own words against me,” she murmurs, tilting her head to capture his mouth in a soft kiss. She starts to pull back, but he slides a hand around her neck and kisses her deeper, all heat and urgency. They’re both panting when they break apart.

“Nice shirt,” he says. “Looks good on you.”

“I swear to God, if you’re about to say it would look better on my floor—“

He tips his head back and laughs, and Karen swears it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard. She’s momentarily lost in it, the effortless sound of his happiness. It’s enough to make her heart crack in half.

She doesn’t realize she’s staring until he nudges her gently. “Hey—you okay?”

Karen lays her palm on his chest. “Your ‘after’—I always pictured something like this.”

“What—me sitting half-naked on your fire escape?”

She smirks. “You, happy. The half-naked thing is a bonus.”

Frank slides an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. “I pictured you.”

“Now that’s a line,” Karen says, curling up next to him. She wonders if she’ll ever get used to feeling like this, buoyant with happiness.

But that’s a question for another day.

#kastle #kastle ff #kastlenetwork #my fic #posting again because formatting was weird on the last one!

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that-scouse-wizard · 3 years

Text

Tigress and Hound, a Friendship in Many Parts. (Part 1)

[A/N: Hi everyone, this is just going to be a little series of loosely connected one-shots mostly based on ideas I and @judediangelo75 have discussed about our characters. Essentially, a catalogue of David and Judith’s friendship, from humble and slightly awkward beginnings to the epic duo that they are. Hope you all enjoy!

Summary: The introduction between the duo who will become known as the Tigress and the Hound.

Word count: 2151

MC friends: Judith Harris (@judediangelo75)

-----------------

1st of September, 1985 (second year)

David

Thick steam hung in the air, courtesy of the Hogwarts Express as David made the familiar first steps onto Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Two other pairs of footsteps following close behind him.

“Wow!” Came the fascinated tone of Amelia, grey eyes on a swivel. Marvelling at the bright red train, the throngs of witches and wizards with their parents, and even at how they entered into this new place for the muggleborn witch, “We just went through a wall, we just went through a wall!” The young witch was practically bouncing with excitement

“This brings back memories...” David’s father, Matthew sighed nostalgically, giving a chuckle at Amelia’s attitude.

A smile tugged at the corner of David’s lips fondly, "And next year, you'll be coming with me to Hogwarts, Amy." He said as he pushed his luggage cart through the dense crowd that thankfully was parting in the wake of his trolley. Though Goliath didn’t seem to appreciate the rattling, the owl giving an annoyed chirp. One that David didn't pay any mind to, his owl was always in a bad mood when confined to a cage.

After handing his luggage over to be loaded onto the train, he turned to his father and soon-to-be step-sister, "I'll see you guys at Christmas then."

"Right, until then." Matthew said, sticking his hand out, “Best of luck to you, do well in school and please stay out of trouble.” David looked down at it, deciding he would cut his dad some slack. He ignored the outstretched limb, going in for a hug.

“I’ll try dad.” David said as he pulled away from his now-surprised father, giving Amelia one too, one that the young witch happily returned. He stepped onto the train, giving one last wave to them, now all he needed to do was find a compartment.

“Oh, David, over here!” Came a familiar voice, the source of it being a beaming Penny Haywood, “We have a seat going spare, would you like to join us?”

“Sure, cheers Pen.” David grinned, counting himself lucky he’d found a seat so soon, and with good company to boot. He soon found out the identity of the other two people who were occupying the area he would be sharing with Penny.

One was Rowan, who’s face lit up at the sight of her best friend, in letters they had exchanged she had detailed her own research into the Cursed Vaults. David would gladly listen if it brought him closer to finding Jacob.

The second person was someone both familiar yet not. Dark skin, pale gold eyes, there was no mistaking who it was as David froze in place. Judith Harris, Jamal Harris’s little sister, a boy who had been a friend of Jacob’s. A person who had also gone missing alongside him.

What exactly were they supposed to say to each other? ‘Hi, our brothers went missing together, let’s be friends!’ As if to make things even more uncomfortable, Penny took a seat, leaving the only one for David to occupy situated directly opposite Judith.

Just great...

Judith glanced at him as he sat down next to Penny, a mixture of shy and wary. The train soon pulled away from the station, “Oh, you two haven’t met before, have you? David, this is Judith Harris. Judith, meet David Willows.”

“Hi...” She said shyly, her voice so soft David almost didn’t hear.

“Likewise.” He said coolly in response, trying not to sound like he really didn’t want to be forced into an interaction. It didn’t help that Penny and Rowan had now struck up a conversation about potions, leaving David and Judith to avert their gazes from each other. David was seriously regretting his choice to not bring a textbook or something to distract himself with. At least then he’d have an excuse not to make eye contact.

“What were you guys up to over the summer?” He asked, not completely rude on his part but at least the question wasn’t just directed at Judith. David could have sworn Rowan sent a quick glance Penny’s way, as if she knew something he didn’t before his question was answered.

“I worked on some potions as some extra homework for professor Snape.” David smirked at Penny’s answer, should have expected that, her love of potions was as uncommon as her admiration for their normally dour professor.

“Well you already know what I’ve been up to.” Rowan stated excitedly, “I’ve been taking a closer look into Hogwarts’s history, aside from Sir Cadogan and a couple of other mentions in portraits of the castle, there’s nothing much about knights. Especially not about-” Rowan was quickly cut off when Penny slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Especially not about...?” Judith asked curiously. David internally swore, the last thing he needed was more people involved in the Cursed Vaults business... even if she did have a personal stake in it herself.

“The weapons that they used!” Penny answered, taking back her hand as Rowan gave the blonde a brief glare, “David is interested in muggle weaponry, he knows about maintaining and how to use a shotgun.” She elaborated

“That’s right and Judith can use Dao swords.” Rowan said, trying to shore up the ploy, “Come to think of it, David knows how to fight hand-to-hand as well, and so does Judith.”

“Really?” David cocked an eyebrow at that, a clear interest in his tone encountering another magic user with any knowledge of non-magical self-defence was definitely rare in wizarding world.

“I do Tae Kwon Do.” Judith confirmed, though she did give a slightly pointed look to the other two for giving away that fact about her.

“Muay Thai.” David clarified succinctly.

“What’s the difference?” Rowan asked, confused. That was when David and Judith were united, giving their mutual friend an incredulous look, then turning back to each other. A silent understanding passing between the two, Rowan Khanna not knowing about the differences in their respective fighting styles simply would not do.

“Ro, how would you like to learn something new?” David’s fellow Hufflepuff looked surprised, eyes widening at his question. A grin slowly spread across her face, all too eager to be educated.

“That has to be the best thing you’ve ever said to me, yes please.”

-----

Judith

It had taken a while for the two of them to explain the differences and similarities between their respective styles but Rowan had hung on their every word. Excitedly writing down notes and asking various follow-up questions. Even after it had ended, their fellow Hufflepuff still eagerly went over her bullet points.

David had even seemed a bit interested in hearing about Tae Kwon Do and she couldn’t deny, Muay Thai certainly seemed effective as a fighting style. Then... despite something they could have potentially bonded over, David had opted to sleep the rest of the journey off.

Judith was somewhat glad for the relief from the awkwardness on though she couldn’t deny she was somewhat miffed at his rudeness. Although, with him softly snoring as his head was lolled back, and Penny having fallen asleep against him, now would be the best time to ask Rowan anything she needed to without the threat of interruption.

“Rowan, what were you going to say before?” She asked. Immediately, her friend stiffened, turning to face her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Nothing.” She answered quickly.

“It didn’t sound like nothing.” Judith retorted quietly, her tone making it clear she wasn’t in the mood for games.

Rowan paused, glancing at the two friends opposite her while briefly mulling it over, and answering nervously, “Alright, fine. We’re looking into the Cursed Vaults. David didn’t want anyone else involved so I didn’t tell you...” She trailed off, noticing her friend’s fists had curled up.

Judith took a deep breath to calm herself. Her first year had been uneventful aside from bullying that came from being Jamal’s relative. She hadn’t uncovered anything about the vaults and now she knew why. David Willows had been keeping secrets.

“Judith, I’m sorry-” Rowan began but was swiftly cut off.

“I’m not mad at you, Rowan.” Judith said reassuringly, “Any issues I’ve got is between me and David.” Rowan seemed to accept that answer, distracting herself with looking out the window as the train weaved through the countryside. The sky being lit up orange indicated it wouldn’t be long before they reached Hogwarts.

Judith focused on David. On one hand she could understand him not bringing her into the fold in searching for his brother. On the other, if Jacob Hall was found, then maybe Jamal wouldn’t be far behind. If there was a chance of getting her own brother back, she would gladly take it. She’d need to get him alone, the question was how.

That was something she would need to ponder...

------

David stirred from his sleep, being awoken by the high-pitched screech of the train’s brakes as it pulled into Hogsmeade station. Blinking sleepily, he could have sworn he saw Judith staring at him, though her head was turned away from him by the time he next looked so he couldn’t be too sure.

There was no rush for any of them, their path being blocked by throngs of students eager to be off the train. From bright-eyed first years to seventh years who looked quite nostalgic at the thought of this being one of their last journeys on Hogwart’s Express.

Eventually, the crowd cleared, leaving their group straggling behind as they tried to follow the flow of the crowd. Hagrid’s tell-tale call for the first years sounded out as they stepped into the chilly air of the September night. In contrast to the first years who would make their voyage across the Black Lake, the older Hogwarts students would be taking carriages up to the castle grounds.

They made their way through the lit, paved streets of Hogsmeade, Rowan excitedly pointing out some of the wizarding village’s landmarks such as the Three Broomsticks. One of the carriages passed by, bound to pick up students that were further ahead. David wondered if they were enchanted, seeing as there was nothing pulling them.

Penny broke into a light jog as they approached the lane the carriages would initially travel down, waving for one of them to hold on. There was just one issue, the carriage in question already had four students, there were just two seats left for any additional passengers.

“Sorry everyone.” Penny said, scratching the back of her head sheepishly.

“David and I can stay behind.” Judith offered, taking a hold of his arm. David gave her a puzzled look, prompting to lean in and whisper in his ear, “There’s something you and I need to talk about.”

He understood, keeping her out of the loop had finally caught up with him, “Pen, Ro, go ahead.” David spoke up. Reluctantly, Penny and Rowan climbed aboard the carriage.

David turned to Judith as the transport pulled away, not speaking up until the clicking of the wheels had disappeared. Leaving the two of them alone on the paved lane, “What do you want?” He asked shortly.

“Answers,” Judith shot back, “I know you’ve been looking into the Cursed Vaults, I want in on it.”

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.” He answered curtly, hoping that would throw her off.

“Rowan told me.” She clarified.

“Listen to me,” David began after a brief pause to gather his thoughts, “The vaults are my business, no one else’s. If I had my way, no one but I would’ve gotten involved in them.”

“And now you have at least Rowan helping out, so what difference does one more person make?” Judith asked rhetorically.

“Because my brother-” David began before Judith cut him off.

“Our brothers, like it or not David, you’re not the only one with a personal stake in this. Please, I want to find my brother just as much as you want to find yours, it makes no sense for us not to work together.” She stated, “Look, Rowan and Penny like you, so I want to trust you, all you need to do is trust me.” She finished, sticking her hand out.

Having more people to help out could be beneficial but still David was unsure...

“Please.” Judith sniffled, sounding somewhat desperate.

David was take aback by that, feeling a pang of sympathy for his fellow Hufflepuff, this really was important to Judith. He sighed in resignation before clasping Judith’s hand with his own.

“Fine, I don’t know how this is goin’ to go between you and me but if you’ve got my back, I’ve got yours.”

Judith’s face lit up in gratitude at his answer, nearly knocking him off his feet as she slammed into him with a brief hug,

“Thank you.”

David chuckled at that, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all...

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hphm #jacob's sibling #david willows #judith harris #hphm mc #hphm oc #hufflepuff!mcs #hufflepuff!mc

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nautiscarader · 3 years

Note

Yumalia - romantic gesture

(Ao3)

- Auch! - So, Yugo... - Ow-ow-ow! - What did we learn today? - That-that-I shouldn't-ow!

Amalia sighed. For all his bravery, one of the heroes of the World of Twelve was surprisingly easy to defeat with just a few prickles. Amalia picked them, as gently as she could, tending to his swollen arm and side of his body that took most most of the damage.

And though she sympathised with him in his pain, she still could not understand why would he venture into the forest to tackle that particular enemy.

With a loud clattering sound, she dropped the last of the thick thorns into the bowl, freeing Yugo from his afflictions.

- There, that should be all. - she spoke, giving him a half-exasperated look - Next time you are going to fight a herd of rhinoce-roses for fun, just give me a heads-up... - I didn't do it for fun - he protested, finally being able to breathe without yelping - I... I wanted to give you something...

Amalia noticed the crimson that covered his face, for once not from the toxins, as he pointed to his large backpack Amalia recovered with him.

And when she opened it, her eyes widened at the plethora of fruits inside. And on top of the pile, laid a few flowers, ones Amalia instantly recognised.

- I-I wanted to invite you to this dance tonight, you know, we have it in Emelka every once in a while. - he admitted - And then maybe I could cook you a romantic dinner... I mean, it's still long while until Ballotwine's day, but I guess...

Amalia looked at her boyfriend, shying away from hers, as he confessed. Her lips curled into a polite smile, but as she looked through his belongings he gathered, the smile turned into a smirk

- "Romantic" dinner, you say...?

She asked, her voice suddenly dropping just a little, making Yugo nervous. Amalia walked around the bed he lied on, watching his face, waiting for him to spill the beans.

- Y-Yeah. I thought maybe I could make something savoury first, and bake you something sweet... - Oh, Yugo, bless your soul for trying...

His eyes widened when Amalia unceremoniously hopped onto his bed, and straddled him, carefully navigating her legs around the inflamed parts of his body. And just like before, she pressed her hands gently against his naked chest, this time, without any balsam or medicine to spread.

A sly smile appeared on her face as she traced his muscles, while she got more and comfortable against his crotch.

- I appreciate your efforts, Yugo, but you were not very subtle here...

Her voice became lecherous, as she gently moved her body against his, coating his crotch in her juices, causing a sudden tightness in his pants, as his erection grew.

When she was done caressing his chest, she moved to her own, undoing her top and bra in a single move, exposing her supple breasts to the Eliatrope's eyes.

She giggled. His reaction didn't change, almost as if it was still their first time... And while she could count their sexual moments on fingers of just two hands, she was still mesmerised how his child-like wonder contrasted with what she knew her man was capable of...

- I mean, roses is one thing...

She took one of the flower she cleaned off his body and spread its petals with her finger, sliding it up and down, while the red, delicate folds parted away.

- ...but peaches? Come on, Yugo...

She took the fruit from his bag and slid her finger alongside its ridge, watching as guilt sweeps through his face.

- N-No, Ami! There-there's this dessert you lick, and... - Good idea...

She lifted her wide hips, undoing her skirt with similar ease to her upper garments, and with almost ravenous strength, she disrobed her boyfriend, gasping as his cock sprung into her fingers.

- We should start with appetisers, though...

And with his cock just inches away from her overflowing pussy, Amalia lifted herself and carefully crawled over his face, until his lips were pressed against her folds.

- Well, you can tell me all about that "dessert" you were going to make...

She threw her head back when his tongue slipped inside her, causing her body to shiver, while her boyfriend's mouth made some noises, seemingly coming up with a recipe on the fly. Something about ice creams, and how the whole dish was named after a singer...

But all Amalia could think about was his lips, tongue and fingers caressing her soaking folds. She thought she would be blessed with only one of his thumbs, as his right side was swollen just a bit too much, but she was swiftly reminded of the powers of portals, and soon her clit and lower lips were massaged with the same tenderness he would knead the dough, or decorate pastries...

Amalia let out a moan, digging her fingers underneath his hat, as if she was afraid her boyfriend could escape anywhere. The long steps he was muttering turned into incoherent moans, harmonising with hers, until her hips buckled and with a sharp cry of his name, Yugo's face was covered in her juices, he swiftly lapped, thirsty for more.

- Now it's turn for the main dish...

Amalia returned to her previous spot, her thighs shivering slightly, not only from her previous climax, but also anticipation of his cock she's been neglecting for the past few minutes.

Once more she however above him, cupping his testicles in her other hand, as her fingers gently stimulated them.

- So, what was left in that bag of yours? Ah, right, aubergine and nuts... - N-No, Ami, I-I was going to make them stuffed-! - Oh, I'm sure you did...

And without waiting, she dropped her body onto him, crying his name as she impaled herself onto his cock. Yugo might still have been a head smaller than her, but the rest of his body reminded her was certainly not a boy anymore.

She welcomed his hand on her thigh, though she still did most of the work, with her hips rolling and bouncing up and down, generating moan after moan from the Eliatrope underneath her.

With each slam, she felt as if he was growing, reaching deeper inside her, and with his alien nature, she wouldn't exactly be surprised if it was true. All she knew was that there was one last part of the "meal" he was supposed to prepare for her, and she shivered at the mere thought of how bold he was about it...

- Y-yugo... now... with the pumpkin... - W-What? - he suddenly asked, moving his head up, bewildered that she was still talking about it. - P-Pumpkin? What? - We-We all know what happens when you slice it open... - she moaned, without stopping her relentless moves

She leaned forward, pressing her hands against his chest, as she whispered her last words, her mouth inches away from his ear.

- You get an... avalanche of seed.

She watched as his eyes widen once more, his plan finally discovered.

- Cum inside me, Yugo! Seed me!

She cried, and slammed her crotch against his, seeing him throwing his head in defeat, unable to speak anything than her name. Amalia's body collapsed and thrashed against his with each pulse of his warm cum flooding her sex, for the very first time without the artificial, rubber protection...

For a solid minute, her Eliatrope boyfriend supplied her with his virility, while their erratic breaths slowly synchronised from their shared peaks, until the two young lovers could speak again.

- I bet... I bet you wanted to say you were going to bake a pie for me... - Y-yeah, a-actually. - Yugo babbled, until his senses came back - But, Ami, I-I-did it- - A very creamy pie, I bet?

She gently lifted herself, parting their joined, tired bodies, and watched with him as leftovers of his seed that didn't make it into her womb leaked out, coating his cock with a long, creamy strand.

- Well, I am glad you thought about the flower, though. - F-Flower? - The lewd lilly - she confirmed - It will make great contraceptive potion.

She leaned and kissed him, as she fished the pink flower out of his bag.

- I mean, I should have taken it the night before, but... with all the risk you took to get it, I might play a bit reckless too...

She winked and stood up, careful not to spill more of his gift onto the ground. She gave her flabbergasted, but considerate boyfriend a kiss, and she headed to the doors.

- I will be back in the evening with more... "medicine", for the "swelling". Maybe you will tell me then what were you planning for our supper?

And with that, she left Yugo staring at the ceiling, still breathing heavily, as he tried to comprehend what the heck just happened, and how complicated cooking will be from now on.

#yumalia #lemon #smutember #day 12 #nautiscaraderfics #aged-up characters and all that #smutember 2021 #smutember2021

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rons-hermiones · 3 years

Text

Come Find Me

by rons-hermiones

Summary: Unplanned, Hermione is forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow due to her grandmother falling very ill. After being ignored by Hermione for weeks, Ron is determined to show her how much she means to him. Just before he gets the chance to tell her, Bellatrix Lestrange shows up with other plans for Hermione. Can Ron get to her before it's too late? (Ron/Hermione Half-Blood Prince AU)

Rating: M for language & dark themes in later chapters.

Chapter Seven

It had been two days since she arrived at the Burrow for holiday.

Within that time Hermione has done her absolute best to avoid the entirety of the family. Well, specifically a certain gangly, freckled git.

Most hours she didn’t spend reading, the guilt was gnawing at her for being such an awful, unappreciative guest. She’d avoid meals when she could, but in the event she couldn’t evade Molly, Hermione would eat as quickly as she could before excusing herself.

Ginny, like her mother, was very perceptive and quickly caught onto what was happening. Oftentimes the girl would peel whatever book Hermione had been latching onto away from her hands and practically force her down the steps. And in the event Ginny successfully got Hermione to the living room, she’d just sit idly and watch the family interact, never interjecting herself.

Harry had stopped by from time to time, thankfully he never pried her from the bed, but surprisingly, he did make her talk. He knew, probably from Ron, of what Harry phrased as her ‘ridiculous’ plan to stay out of his way. When the conversation started turning to anything Ron, or even worse, Lavender related, she’d excuse herself and venture out into the garden.

And besides the three parties mentioned, no one really bothered her.

Fred and George did their best to get a laugh from her on the occasion she was downstairs. Mr.Weasley would greet Hermione warmly and ask if she’s heard from her parents.

She hasn’t. Not since the day after she arrived. They had sent a brief letter informing their daughter that they arrived in France, they loved her, and that they would write soon. Despite their silence, Hermione still wrote them everyday for any answers.

Bill, Charlie, and Fleur had just taken to small talk, but Hermione usually halted it, never allowing herself to get invested in conversation. Something she’d usually do.

And as for Ron, well, some nights Hermione swears she hears his loud, familiar steps shuffling outside the door as he whispers with Ginny. But, whenever the door opened, it was just Ginny and Ginny alone. These instances always disappointed Hermione for some silly reason.

Now, on the night before Christmas Eve, something she dreaded so much knowing she’d be unable to evade Mrs.Weasley’s insistence she join them, she sat in the garden.

Normally this is where she’d retreat if Ginny or Harry had taken to pestering her from the camp bed she was now seemingly glued to. Or often the contents of her prized book were too heavy, and the fresh air eased her. But tonight, she came out for a different reason. That reason being, the sight of her trunk had begun to make her sick.

Inside it held hope. Something she had lost months ago.

When her parents originally agreed to let her stay at the Weasley’s for Christmas (not under the pretense of a possibly dying Arthur), she was ecstatic. Immediately she began searching for the perfect gifts.

For Molly, she had found a lovely welcome mat with small embroidered stars around the thick lettering. It would look perfect on the front steps.

For Arthur, a Muggle alarm clock. It was both practical and for him, fascinating.

She had picked up a broom cleaning kit down in Diagon Alley. Harry was attached to his Firebolt, so Hermione figured he’d appreciate it. In addition, she had a picture printed of him and Sirius from last Christmas. The brunette just hoped she wasn’t over stepping with that one.

For Ginny she had gone with a few hair clips similar to the ones the ginger told her she liked over the summer. That and of course, a book on the best female quidditch players who ever lived.

Hermione had been perusing a Muggle shop before coming to the Burrow over the summer, and there were the perfect gifts for the twins. A Muggle joke book along with a bag of whoopee cushions. They were harmless, but would surely keep the pair thoroughly entertained.

Ron had informed Hermione early on about Charlie, Bill, and Fleur joining them for Christmas, so she was able to pick something up for them. For Charlie, she decided to go with something practical being this would be the first time they would meet. A few bottles of dittany (known to help burns and scratches from Dragons) along with a baby picture of Noberta, was what she had gone with. Bill and Fleur, being newly engaged, Hermione had gone with a joint gift. She had struck gold when she found a brilliant take on the Beauxbatons and Hogwarts shields combined. Something to remind them both of where they came from.

And as for Ron, well, now she was afraid her original gift may be too personal for where they stood right now. She had gotten the idea from a talk they had back in fourth year, when he was fighting with Harry...

“Where have you been?” Ron asked Hermione as she entered the common room. His tone wasn’t accusatory, just worried.

At this, she flushed red, “I was uh, talking to Harry.” At this he made a noise of disgust, “well I wouldn’t exactly call it talking.”

And for the briefest moment Ron paled, imagining the pair of them snogging.

“What do you mean?” He barely managed, fumbling over his words.

“Well,” she blushed again, “I mostly yelled and he well, he just stood there.” Hermione admitted sheepishly.

“Why’d you yell at Harry?” Not that he was opposed to the action.

And just like that she’s fired up again. Her hair crackles at the thought, “it’s completely unfair the way he’s treating you Ron! And I’m not going to let him get away with it.” She tutted.

He stared at her in amazement, “but you told me you didn’t think he put his name in.” He pointed out softly.

Hermione squirmed, “I don’t think he did, but that doesn’t give him the right to treat you the way he is. I suppose you tried to speak with him Ron and though I think he told you the truth, he didn’t have to be such an-” she paused, “he didn’t have to be so rude about it!”

“Bloody hell! You were about to swear.” The smile on his face only grew.

“No I wasn’t!” The brunette quickly defended, “anyway, he doesn’t understand it Ron. You’d think he would, you two are closer than I am to either of you.” Her voice dropped.

The smile he was wearing soon slipped, “that’s not true Hermione.” If only she knew...

At this, she remained silent, eyes trained on the fire.

“What doesn’t he understand?” Ron whispers after a moment.

Finally, her brown eyes meet his and she sighs, “Ron I know you better than you think I do.” If only he knew...

At this his face scrunched in confusion, imploring her to elaborate.

“You don’t particularly care if Harry actually put his own name in or not, you just care that he’s making you feel second best.” She whispered, worried he’d react in red hot anger.

Shocking them both, he merely gulped, “yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He admitted.

“Oh Ron,” she said sadly, “I don’t know how it feels, being an only child, but you have to know when I think of you, I think of you alone.” Hermione confesses bravely.

“What do you mean?” He dares to push her for more.

“I don’t think of how Bill may be a brilliant Curse Breaker, or how Charlie is bravely taming Dragons, I don’t think about how Percy was Head Boy and expect you to want that too. Even the twins, whenever you make me laugh, I don’t compare it to how much they make me laugh. Ginny too, she may be brilliant at Quidditch but that doesn’t make you any worse.”

He stares at her in shock, she takes this as confusion and goes on.

“What I mean is Ron, is that you’re you, Ronald Weasley, and I don’t want you to be anyone else. I don’t expect you to be like anyone else, alright? If I wanted to be best friends with any other Weasley I would, but I’m not, amI? Am I even making sense?” She rambles, desperate for him to speak.

Catching his breath, Ron nods and faces her, “I think I know what you’re trying to say Hermione.” A small smile finds its way across her face, “it’s just hard, when you’ve never had anything of your own, part of you feels like them. Does that sound mental?”

His mind flashes to all the robes, books, bed sheets, and toys he’s shared with his siblings.

In Bill’s old shoes, he feels like he has to be braver.

Whenever he’s reading one of Charlie’s old Charms books, he feels like he has to be daring.

In Percy’s robes, he has the sudden urge to make sure everyone’s doing what’s right.

When his Mum gave him a mixture of Fred and George’s old quilts, he felt like he had to make his dormitory laugh whenever he was nestled underneath them.

Even Ginny, his youngest sister, whenever he shared the family owl with her, Ron felt like his letter had to be an inch longer than hers.

“It doesn’t sound mental Ron.” She assures, and the look in her eyes conveys nothing but understanding, it warms his heart.

He huffs quietly, “Harry, I mean, he was my friend, and now, everyone’s gonna go around and want that too. And he’ll probably let them because what am I next to someone like Cedric Diggory?” He admitted.

“Hey,” her hand fell atop his knee making him look at her with wide eyes, “you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, I wouldn’t trade you for a dozen Cedric Diggory’s.” Hermione gave his knee a small squeeze.

And the action, the expression on her face, it all felt so sincere. So real.

Bravely, he grabbed her small hand from where it was resting on his leg and held it snugly.

“Thank you for yelling at Harry, it must’ve been wicked.” He teased with a light laugh.

A chuckle moved past her lips, “that’s not exactly the word the first years who watched would use.” She said blushing.

Ron beamed even more at this, imagining a feisty Hermione scaring away little first years as she took her anger out on the chosen one.

“Ron, I just wanted to let you know,” she’s looking away, suddenly feeling shy, “that if you’d have me you know, I’m yours. Just yours.” It’s nothing but a whisper, barely heard over the crackling fire.

The breath leaves his mouth so fast, it’s like a dementor’s kissing him. Quickly, he berates himself for allowing himself to think she means as anything more than friends. He’ll take it anyway. He thinks he’d take anything she has to offer.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “yeah I’d definitely like that.”

A grin etches its way across her features as she twines their fingers together.

They sat like that the rest of the night. Not letting go even when Dean and Seamus eyed them from nearby.

It wasn’t a grand gesture or declaration of love, but it was the start to the possibility of something more. And as Hermione spent the remainder of her night holding his hand as they talked in hushed whispers, Ron realized she could’ve been anywhere else. But instead, she was here.

And for the first time in Ron Weasley’s life, he felt like the first choice.

When recalling that night on the common room couch, something always stands out in Hermione’s brilliant mind.

The fact that Ron said he’d never had anything that felt like his own. So with that in mind and the ever growing feelings the witch had blossomed for him, Hermione decided on something bold.

It wasn’t exactly an ‘I love you’, but it was personal to him, and if he had cared that much about her to read into it, well he might figure out how important to her he really is. The fact that she’s cataloged just about every interaction they’ve had in the past six years.

Wanting to convey as much without spelling it out, she had found a lovely oak whittled Wizarding Chess set. And in the box that held it, she had gotten ‘Property of Ron Weasley’ carved on the top.

She’d even preemptively written the card:

‘Something to call yours, Happy Christmas Ron.

Love, Hermione.’

She had signed plenty of letters to him with those four letters, but part of her hoped that the note coupled with the gift may wake something within him. The possibility he feels the same way.

However, she knows now that isn’t the case. It can’t be. Not when Lavender Brown will be waiting for him when they return to Hogwarts.

So here she is, out in the garden, the Weasley’s garden no less, her precious book thrown aside, contemplating on whether or not she should give the gift.

The selfish part of her says no. Hermione tells herself he doesn’t deserve anything from her after how he’s made her feel.

Her morals scream otherwise. They’re telling her she’s the one who expected anything more than friendship from him and that she’s stupid to get so upset because he didn’t feel the same.

Weighing her options, Hermione makes the quick choice to just give him the damn thing. One last act of friendship. A goodbye of sorts.

She closes her eyes in pain, she just wants him happy, even if it kills her. And if that means distancing herself from him, then so be it.

For the smartest witch of her age, she sure is oblivious to the fact that inside, only meters away, Ron is feeling the exact same way.

...

“You know I don’t like how she just sits out there. She’s so far away.” Ron comments boldly from his place on the couch.

“Ronnie, she’s not that far, you can see her from the window.” Fred says.

“I don’t think he exactly meant physical distance.” Bill commented over the book he was reading, making the room laugh, as Fleur elbowed him harshly.

He blushes, “shove off! The lot of you, I just mean that things aren’t exactly safe.” He points out.

Ginny scoffs from the couch, “please Ron, the wards here are almost as tight as the ones at Hogwarts.” She points out.

Bill speaks again, “yeah, Dumbledore himself helped put them up. He came by here with Mad Eye over the summer while we stayed at Grimmauld place.”

Ron sighed, “you still don’t know, I mean, look at Charlie. He just waltzed on up.” He defended. Harry seemed to agree, but said nothing.

“Well to be fair Ronnie, I know exactly where the Burrow is, I reckon You-Know-Who and his followers could care less about where a bunch of pure bloods live.” Charlie pointed out.

“Technically, we’re blood traitors.” Ron commented.

They ignored this, “anyway, there is an apparition line, why do you think I walked up from the pond? That’s where it ends.” He reminds.

“Still it’s rather close and look at Hermione, she’s not far off from the pond at the edge of the garden.” The youngest Weasley boy says peering out the window again, watching as the witch reads that same damned book soundly under a tree.

The twins began to laugh, “you sound almost as paranoid as Harry over there.” Fred teased causing the dark haired boy to give him a small shove, but a grin played on his lips no less.

“Ickle Ronniekins just wants his girlfriend inside so she’ll finally talk to him.” George reminded.

Ron opened his mouth, no doubt to say something nasty to his brothers, before Bill stopped him, “even if someone did apparate we’d hear it first Ron.”

“Yeah,” Ginny chimed in, “we heard Charlie the other night.”

“Exactly.” The eldest Weasley agreed.

“Ron if you are so worried you could always go out there too, no?” Fleur suggested with raised brows and a mischievous smile.

At this Bill proudly kissed her cheek as the room erupted in snickers as the blonde joined the fun.

“Yeah Ickle, listen to the last, why don’t you go sit with her? Unless...” he began knowingly.

“Unless what Fred?” George asked his twin.

“Unless little Hermione would rather be taken by death eaters than spend time with Ronniekins.”

“That’s not even something to joke about Fred!” Ron boomed angrily, suddenly feeling faint at the idea of the likes of someone like Malfoy’s dad anywhere near Hermione.

“Alright.” Charlie said standing, “Ron, don’t you have reading to do or something?” He asks his heaving brother who looks like he’s about to pounce on Fred.

Surely, this calms his breathing, “right, reading.” He says gruffly, quickly exiting the room.

“Honestly, he’s so sensitive.” George mutters to his brother.

The room is still tense. No one speaks for a few minutes, and it’s Ginny who breaks the silence. Her eyes are wide as a somewhat amused smile strikes her lips.

“Wait, did you just say Ron’s reading?”

#ron x hermione #ron and hermione #rons-hermiones come find me #ron weasley #hermione granger #sixth year #hp fanfic #hp #romione fanfic #romione

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apples-r-rubbish · 4 years

Text

John (11 x reader) Part 3

Word count: 3.1k Warnings: Violence (!!!), death mention AN: FINAL PART! Thank you so much for the support on the other parts of this. I have some stuff planned for the future (13 x reader ;) ) but if you enjoyed feel free to follow and request things! Thank you so much hope you enjoy! Anyway, geronimo!

PART 1 PART 2

A smile appeared quickly, then it vanished as soon as it arrived, he cursed low underneath his breath, running across the room to you, concern clear on his face. His hair had already slipped back to the way it was before no longer slicked back, you believed it was a timelord thing.

“(Y/N), what the hell did you do?” He scalded examining your wounds, finally sounding like himself

“Well, we needed a distraction, you weren’t opening the watch anytime soon, we needed to put as much distance as we could between them and-”

“So you decided to use yourself as bait? As a punching bag?” You paused for a second and breathed, he didn’t remember.

“It’s fine,” you reasoned shortly, trying to diffuse the situation, “we need to go anyway, Rory and Amy are dealing with the remainder of that thing, they ran into the forest, I’ve managed to slow it down enough,”

You went to run, adrenaline heavy in your veins, an involuntary scream ripped through you.

“What are you like honestly? Can’t leave you humans alone for 5 minutes, nevermind 6 months,” He said pulling your arm around him so he could support your weight.

“Doctor it’s been 2 years, didn’t you realise?”

“2 years? I thought your hair looked different or you looked older. Or maybe it could be the air,”

“Aw thanks, I missed you too, and your lovely comments about my appearance,” You said sarcastically.

“How did you get stabbed? Please tell me I didn’t-”

“No one of those things attacked me, because it wanted the chameleon thing. He also tried to strangle me,” You said, dizziness embracing you

“Woah, ok, ok, I’m going to have to carry you because you are not going to make it to them, like that,” He picked up gently, with a surprising level of ease “There we go? Comfortable?”

You mumbled a brief yes, redness clear in your face. “C’mon (L/N), we have to go save the Ponds,”

Amy and Rory were covered in the thick blue liquid and out of breath, by the time you had found them. They’d managed to fight off the older three men and had abandoned what was left of Edward Grey searching for the fake pocket watch.

“John, you’re-” Amy started, attempting to rub some of the sapphire fluid off her face and failing, as it was coated over the majority of her clothes

“Not John anymore,” You cut in, your voice weaker once again, fake confidence vanished

“And what have you been up?” Rory questioned, noticing the blood that had seeped into the doctor’s former pristine white shirt

“Got stabbed, no big deal, don’t even worry about me,” you laughed a fragile chuckle escaping your lips

“Rory, I need you to take her from me, I’ve got to find that child and the thing that caused it and get rid of it,” He stated, darkly. You felt your weight shift between the two men. Then the doctor kissed the man on the forehead followed by a small smile and then he whispered something to him that neither you couldn't hear. He hugged Amy tightly, “I’ve missed you raggedy man, it’s been a painfully dull two years.” She held him tightly for a moment, he kissed her briefly on the forehead

“Try not to get stabbed again, whilst I’m gone.” he said, his lips ghosted your forehead, “right gang, back soon, don’t follow,” He nodded before dashing into the forest.

About 3 minutes later all of you were trailing behind him, still in Rory’s arms, the bleeding becoming less frequent from your fresh cuts. You found the doctor rambling to the boy, his sonic screwdriver being thrown between his hands with increasing anxiety

“I knew you were a Valgun, something about you never seemed right, even as a human though I could never find the right words. I understand my species is a rare one, but to trap me for no reason other than as a experiment simply so you can learn some deep secret of my people is not the way to go,” He paused for breath “To trap me and my friends here for years is unacceptable, to strand them here is soulless, and to nearly mortally injure one of them is something you should’ve never done. I thought the Valgun were supposed to be clever, evidently not as you’ve realised hurting people close to me will not make me give in. You will only succeed in making me incredibly angry.”

“But we got your attention. The oncoming storm, the destroyer of worlds, the warrior,” The boy began, the low voice booming, the child’s mouth hung open like a startled fish.

“Do you want to know how I got those names? It wasn’t by being peaceful, it was from those days where I have seen destroyed planets, watched suns burn, and saved no one. Those days are long, long behind me, are you afraid? If you aren’t, I’d advise you to be. In fact, the only thing that has stopped me from ending you is that fact you inhabit that child.”

It laughed. You felt your body shift involuntarily, pushing yourself from Rory’s grasp and standing.

“What the hell is going on? What did you do to her?” The doctor shouted, noticing you all. The voice spoke again “We guessed you would not follow us easily, we injected her when one of the bodies tried to kill her. Slow acting poison and Valgun DNA. If you come with us she’ll live. If you don’t the following situation will be quite, painful for her,”

“Rory, Amy, run, back to the TARDIS, I can fix this,” He said, fixing his crooked bowtie, as the married couple sprinted away, not wanting to further anger the doctor. He rushed to you, practically falling over himself

“Valgun DNA means we can control her, her final few minutes, however we want. However you want,”

“Run you stupid old man,” was all you a managed to wheeze out before the boy snapped his pale fingers. Your face contorted instantly, a choking expression clear on your face, falling to the autumn floor, shaking violently.

“Stop it, leave her alone,” he said kneeling next to you

“Or time lord we can make her fall in love with you. We understand John was rather fond of her” Another snap, your arms were around him, you pressed an involuntary kiss to his lips. He grabbed your arms as gently as he could and removed them from around him

“Stop that. Stop that right now. You want me, fine but do not hurt her. She’s gone through enough. She’s already injured and possibly dying. Let her go!” He snarled anger increasing with every syllable. Another snap, your body jolted back as you lay on the floor panting, desperate to inhale oxygen pressing a desperate hand to your wound.

“So you have chosen to come with us?” The voice rumbled

“Oh I never said that,” He said, his head cocked to one side in a smug manner “Three things, you must know in this situation. One, I don’t compromise especially in situations like this. Two, (Y/N) I swear this won’t hurt a bit,” He said pulling out his sonic screwdriver again “Three, there's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Me. Geronimo!”

The screwdriver buzzed. Pain erupted in every nerve, screams tore through you

“No. Stop it! Stop it now! You will die! You will come with us! You will- You will-” The voice repeated, a desperate attempt to save itself. Edward stood there convulsing in agony, he stiffened suddenly against the shaking, his mouth closing and eyes rolling forward. A sharp breath came from his system, before, it steadily disintegrated and became one with the earth. The Doctor paused for a second examining the situation, before rushing back over you, his knees covered in mud not caring about the state of his formerly pristine suit.

“So, that was definitely a lie, about it not hurting then,” You mumbled weakly, a small cough escaping you.

“Are you alright? Are you ok?” He soothed smoothing your back down

“I mean other than the stab wound, almost being strangled and whatever happened there, I’m fine,” a small laugh breaking the tension. The blood hadn’t stopped flowing from your wound.

“Right, we need to get you back to the TARDIS as fast as we can. Patch up that wound and get that DNA out your system.” He helped you on your your feet, the world slipped slightly and he caught you before you fell flat against your face “c’mon, fight it, stay awake for me, please,”

He clutched you in his arms, as he ran as fast as he possibly could, checking up on you every so often, assuring you were still conscious.

“What did you say to Rory earlier?” you murmured, vision blurring as you spoke, a final attempt to make yourself look strong

“I told him to run when I said to, I knew you were going to follow me.”

“Doctor, I-”

At that point, he had noticed you had lost your grip on reality, it had slipped away from you, “No, no, no, no, no, stay with me. I need you to stay. I’ve only just got you back. You need to live, you have to live. When you wake up, we’ll go anywhere you like, anywhere, as much running as you want. As long as you want to, anywhere, just stay, please stay. I can’t lose another. I can’t lose you,” he cried tears falling dramatically, as he speed picked up. He practically kicked the TARDIS doors in, Amy and Rory cursing when they saw you.

You woke up in the TARDIS in one of the few medical bays dotted throughout the ship. Your body ached as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. The room was medium sized, there was a chair next to bed you were in which currently held the doctor, asleep, glasses on, book practically slipping out of his hands. Your stab wound was patched up and most of your bruises seemed to be gone. You carefully got up and slipped out of the room trying to keep your noises to a minimum so you wouldn’t wake up the sleeping timelord. It seems like human habits had taken a toll on him. The console room greeted you with a quiet hum, which you assumed was a good thing. Amy and Rory stopped their conversation when they heard you, you shuffled towards them after picking up your coat from the railing

“There she is, the woman of the hour. Enjoy your three week nap?” Amy asked, giving you a tight hug when you approached

“I was out for 3 weeks? God, I’m sorry I put you through that,” You apologised

“Nah, it’s fine, we didn’t really deal with it. I mean we were concerned, but the Doctor took it particularly badly. He insisted that he stay with you as much as possible. He read to you, insisting something to do with timelord healing or culture or something. He insisted it was his fault too,” Rory said “claiming, that if he hadn’t been that reckless in the first place you wouldn’t have copied him, something like that,”

“Nah,” You mumbled, stuffing your hands into your pockets and frowning instinctively, “where’s the fun in safety? He shouldn’t blame himself, I took on too much. I mean, I literally got stabbed, that’s quite clearly my fault,”

You pulled an almost empty pack of cigarettes out of your jacket pocket.

“(Y/N), please don’t fill your body with those chemicals, you’ve literally just got out of a coma,” Rory frowned

“Let me finish this pack and I’ll quit, cold turkey, I’ve had a rough few weeks and a few close calls I think I’m allowed a cig or two, considering I’ve spent at least 2 years on them,” you shot back with a small smile, in response he simply rolled his eyes. Swinging the TARDIS door open, you observed the view of a star system, a beautiful portrait of a mess of colour and light, you sat down with your legs hanging out the doors. Footsteps could be heard behind you followed by, “You could’ve have woken me up, you know”

“Absolutely not, you looked too peaceful, pretty boy. Also I wanted some fresh air and a view,” You chuckled, not turning your head to face him. “Rory, Amy, can you give us a moment please, I would like to talk to (Y/N) in private just make sure she’s alright,” the doctor said, his voice calmer than previously. The couple nodded and wandered off further into the ship saying they’d speak to you both in the morning. The doctor waited until they were out of ear shot, he flicked a few switches on the console, wandered over and sat next to you in a similar position. “I’m sorry about the forest. I’m sorry you had to get stabbed. I’m sorry they tried to control you. I’m sorry about abandoning you for two years. It wasn’t fair on you, you got reckless at the immediate sign of danger,”

“You can’t put that on yourself. I took the risks, that was my responsibility, and my decision to make. I barely remember the forest thing, I just know at one point I put my arms around you and nothing else. It is not your fault and it never will be.” There was silence after you spoke, as you took another drag from the cigarette.

“You know those things are awful for you. I doubt your friend would approve.” You froze as he spoke like a deer caught in headlights

“I didn’t think you’d remember and in my defence, it was to get John to back off. And before you opened the watch it was to calm him. It’s better to have half dead men have hope,” You winced at that refusing to look him in the eyes. He paused for a moment, contemplating his choice of words, you took the opportunity to rest your head on his shoulder. It wasn’t the garden, instead it was the universe.

“Humans live incredibly short lives, and 2 years is a long time for most of them. I can drop you off back there if you met someone, or they can come along if you’d like. That Tom seemed nice, seemed friendly, he’d be nice to have around,”

“He’s dead. He died. He was one of those people that were transformed. I tried meeting people, I tried dating. It didn’t work, they’d get too close and they’d ask questions that I didn’t have answers to, wanted to meet family, that didn’t exist. I had to look out for John, too. Once he even walked in one of the dates, completely ruined it, glared at the bloke the whole time. And at one point I stopped, dragging anyone into life is a potential death sentence. I only stayed with the Ponds and John.” You replied with a slight edge to your voice as you jabbed the remainder of the cigarette out.

“I’m sorry,” The apology escaped his lips before he could think about it

“Don’t be. Even then John didn’t exist. He was just a story, a shadow, a fantasy to keep you safe. He wasn’t real. All his thoughts, feelings, life, memories, they weren’t real. And I fell in love with him, that daft history who panicked at the worst times with his stupid laugh and an ability to dance,” You had started crying sobs ripping through your words, thinking about the man that had confessed his love for you and died seconds after. In an attempt to soothe you his arm wrapped around you in a comforting manner.

“I’m sure, there’s another John Smith out there, or someone similar. I mean in theory, his feelings weren’t all fake. I can still feel bits of him, his thoughts, his feelings and his emotions, it’ll fade overtime but they’re still there. The chameleon arch, takes a scan of your emotions and implants aspects into the disguise, so it’s not a complete shock to your system. John was in love with you because I was. I was too afraid to tell you, and then I lost you for 2 years in that mundane town where nothing ever happened so close, yet so far away,” He rambled, his voice barely a whisper towards the end tears filling his eyes “and then I woke back up, and you were bleeding, half dead because of me. And then we went into the forest, trying to show off to save you. They could’ve killed you, they nearly did. In your final moments they nearly manipulated your body because they knew about what John had felt. I nearly lost you, another ghost to carry with me and I couldn’t do that.” you held him tightly in your arms, a desperate attempt to hold the pieces of him together, at least for another moment. He continued after a brief pause “Even with the stars with me and the world on my shoulders, I still care about you. And of course I feel the same way, I’m not a complete mad man,” A small laugh escaped his lips.

“Oh god, you really do remember everything. I’m sorry about the even thing, adrenaline was high and I wasn’t thinking straight and I was trying to calm you down-” You cut abruptly short by a small peck on you lips

“Not even anymore. Anyway, before I became John, being that close to the watch meant I said those words and I meant it. I’ve loved you since I met you, you’re all of those things. Just thought it would be easier coming from John.” He smirked. Adrenaline once again kicked in you kissed again. A smile breaking out from both of you.

“Anyway, you get to pick the next adventure, anytime, any place, anywhere, for as long or as little as you like.”

“I’ll decide in a bit, I just want this for now,” You said, breathing in deeply, focusing on him and your head returning to his shoulder, your fingers intertwined with his.You stayed that way for a while, neither of you daring to move. It was him this time, and you had the knowledge things would be different. But you had now and all of the universe at your fingertips.

#11th doctor #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor x you #eleven x reader #Eleventh doctor x reader #eleven #eleventh doctor #self insert doctor who #self insert fanfiction #self insert #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you #this was amazing #thank you for reading <3

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classicdaisycalico · 3 years

Note

Im here for the most recent ask prompt. I didn't understand if we have to tell you a pair, but I will say #1 and #15 with shadouge

Short fic challenge

Anon I will do ANYTHING to liven up the Shadouge tag so HERE WE GO.

1. "A conversation you wish had happened in canon"

***

With the sheer brawn of Iblis and the devilish cunning of Mephiles, Solaris was the biggest challenge anyone on the side of good had yet to face. Without a doubt, the Emeralds were needed here. Sonic was needed here.

But he was dead...or so it seemed.

Elise mentioned something about sensing his presence in the wind, a sort of wishful justification that somehow the blue hedgehog was only mostly dead. Admittedly, Shadow would have been lying if he hadn't thought the same. That faker had a fighting spirit that could last as long as the ultimate life form himself could exist. Without that kind of motivation, any fight against Solaris would be for naught. Gathering the seven Chaos Emeralds, then, was the only right thing to do.

Somehow everyone had managed to pull through on this feat, and in record time, apparently. Granted, the destruction of time and space itself may have been a factor, but the speed at which the gems had been obtained was astounding, nevertheless. How ironic, Shadow thought to himself, that this process had been slower while the blue blur had been alive. Perhaps a well-timed nod to the idea after Sonic was brought back could give him the motivation to stay focused on the matter a little better.

Still, that would only happen if the revival was a success.

"Think it'll work?"

A voice next to him interrupted his train of thought. He turned and found Rouge standing at his side. "I don't see why not," he said. "The Chaos Emeralds had a hand in giving me life. They should have no issue in giving Sonic his back."

The black hedgehog couldn't help but feel his muzzle heat up when he realized how close the two of them were standing. It hadn't even been the first time the distance between them was this small. It was since that fateful day by the sea that he became more cognizant of the idea.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the same day he had been told of what was to come for him and Omega, their faithful E-series robot companion, in the future. It was that same member of Team Dark, in fact, who would betray him and seal him into stasis forever, after everyone else in the world turned against him.

Everyone except Rouge, who rescued him from stasis in Eggman's base, who saved his life on several other occasions, who had worked with him to defeat his own biological father and his alien offspring permanently. Through all the light and dark he had suffered, she had been by his side the whole time.

She would make that same point again that very day. The words echoed in his mind, over and over again, like a broken record:

"Shadow...even if you believe everyone in the world will be against you...know that I'll always be by your side. Remember that..."

He wasn't wrong when he said "I will". Until now, no one else in recent memory would stand by someone whose past was so painful, someone whose memory had been tampered with one time too many, someone who was abused to the point of distrusting everyone around him, someone whose path to recovery was like navigating a minefield. Anyone else who said this to him would have him wonder if they meant such a promise.

And yet, he believed her every word. At least, with her, he never had to doubt anything. He never had to second-guess himself. Recovering from his past never scared her away.

Shadow respected that. He respected her, and he trusted her. For him to hold anyone in such a high regard was not something that was given freely.

Still, "respect" and "trust" didn't feel like enough to describe what he felt.

He recalled a conversation long ago with Maria on the ARK, where she once explained to him the concept of love. For a 12-year old girl, her response was surprisingly mature. According to her, she knew someone loved another if they prioritized that person's else's needs before their own in times of trouble.

She was absolutely correct. Between her, Shadow, and Gerald, her definition checked off all the right boxes. Maria was family, after all; of course he and Gerald loved her.

He had also come to learn that Rouge checked off all those boxes, too. Of course, the only context Shadow knew of this kind of love was family. This bat was not family, not in the way he was used to.

But he still loved her.

He looked over at Amy, wringing her hands together while trying to hold back tears as Elise lay the Emeralds in a circle around Sonic. As much as Shadow couldn't seem to believe it, maybe the pink hedgehog was onto something. Perhaps whatever she felt for her blue hero, he felt for the spy next to him. The idea held water very well; there was probably no other way to describe it.

Elise was now lying next to Sonic in the middle of the Emeralds, which began to glow. All the while, the ultimate life form let his fingers brush against those of his ally. As it turned out, these newfound feelings had given way to something else on his mind. "Rouge."

The partner in question turned and faced him. "Yes?"

"He can't fight this alone."

She blinked, feeling his hand grasp hers. "What are you saying?"

"Solaris may well be the biggest threat we've ever seen. Sonic cannot face it alone."

Rouge's eyes widened. "So you're joining him?"

"Silver, too," Shadow replied. "And even among the three of us, our efforts may not be enough."

The Emeralds were floating now, revolving around Sonic's body. Only one scenario involved the gems acting this way. If he was to help the faker, this was the way to do it, but before he could join him, there was one last thing left to do.

He turned to face Rouge. "People may die tonight," he answered. "And if I should be one of them–"

"Shadow, we know that's impossible–"

"If I should be one of them..." he resumed, harshly, before taking a calmer breath to compose himself. "You said you would stay by my side no matter what. Is that right?"

She nodded slowly. "Absolutely."

He took another slow breath, reaching for the limiters on his wrists. "If I should live after this battle...find me."

He removed them, while Rouge could only watch in dismay. "Shadow–"

He urgently placed the limiters in her hands. "Find me," he repeated, and sighed, shaking his head. "If only I told you sooner..."

There was a sternness in her voice now as she heard the serious tone in his. "Tell me what?"

Looking at her, Shadow could see up close just how many small features of her he never paid attention to, like how her snow-white hair curled slightly at the ends. Like how her eyes were a perfect mixture of blue and green. Like how her skin somehow miraculously remained untouched by battle scars no matter how many fights she found herself in.

He chose to set himself up for this. There was no turning back now. Taking one last look at his ally, the hedgehog shut his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

He could feel her gasp in surprise, but that was irrelevant. What mattered was that she needed to know how he felt about her before it was too late.

Before he knew it, the spy was kissing him back. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, reassured that her feelings were mutual. After all, her promise was as good as binding. Was that not a declaration of love by itself?

On any other occasion, he would have gladly taken his time with this kiss. He could have deepened it, ran his fingers through her hair, lightly stroked her velvety wings, let his hands venture down her back and along her hips and up again, mold the sharp edges of his own figure into the softer curves of hers until there was no space between them at all. Call it the territorial instincts of his Black Arms DNA, perhaps.

Take that, Knuckles.

But there was still a war going on, and he still had a role in it.

They pulled away as slowly as time would allow, their eyes only half open and gazing longingly into the other's. Their foreheads were still touching, along with the tips of their noses. One of his hands still clung to hers, fingers laced together. He could hear her taking slow, steady breaths, stark contrast to the rapid pulse of her heart. Who could blame her? She was caught horrendously off-guard. "What did you want to tell me, Shadow?"

He wanted to tell her. Badly. But all he could do was gently nuzzle the side of her face. "There's no time."

"You can't just–"

Rouge found herself holding Shadow's limiters against her chest, but there was no Shadow standing in front of her. Instead, she looked up and saw him slowly backing away, the ghost of regret clouding his eyes. "What are you doing?"

He shook his head, feeling a part of his heart ache as the distance between them increased. "I'm sorry."

The ultimate life form turned on his heel and ran towards the Chaos Emeralds, now rapidly rotating around Sonic. His only focus now was joining the blue blur and destroying Solaris for good.

He had to survive. Only then, could he find his ally and let her know the three words that echoed through his mind, but never found the right time and place to say out loud:

"I love you."

***

OKAY NOW FOR THE OTHER ONE LET'S DO THIS

***

15. "The scene that will give you, personally, the most joy."

***

The sun was going down, illuminating the sky with brilliant shades of orange and gold fading into red. Dusk would soon be near, which meant nightfall was not far behind.

Being a bat, a night creature, Rouge thrived during this time of day. Still, that didn't mean she couldn't slow down and appreciate the beauty that this sunset had to offer. It almost made her forget the rest of her surroundings, like the tree attached to the thick branch on which she stood.

Upon suddenly seeing Shadow pop up next to her, she yelped in shock. "Don't do that! You scared me half to death!"

"Rouge, I have a question."

There it was, the perfect opportunity to ask her about what was on his mind, about how it was always around Rouge that he found himself trying to keep a cool head a little more than needed. It was her that made his face flush a deeper red than the streaks in his quills. It was her who made his heart beat faster than he could run. It was her that caught every man's eye in a way so tantalizing that he felt a need to tell them all to back off.

Tantalizing...like the many gems she chased after. Her eyes were like turquoise, her lips like amethyst, her black catsuit like onyx, her hair like pearls. Who was she to talk about the mysterious brilliance of a Chaos Emerald when she herself was right there before his eyes? And just like a diamond, her personality was just as multifaceted. On one hand, she appeared cold and cruel, calculating and cunning. On the other, she showed a caring and compassionate side, a side she showed to no one else but him. She was everything a jewel could ever be: hard to find and even harder to obtain, but so beautiful one couldn't help but get drawn in.

In fact, he'd been drawn in for so long, he nearly forgot he had a question to ask. "...When was the last time you ever really got to see the world?"

The bat was slightly taken aback by this question. "I–"

"And not because of some jewel heist, either. I mean...REALLY seeing the world."

She sat down on the tree branch, now much deeper in thought. "I...don't know. Probably...never? Why?"

The hedgehog sat down next to her. "Because it's come to my attention that I never have, either." He smoothed some stray quills back, a tell-tale sign of the nervousness he harbored around her. "To be honest...I was wondering–"

"Of course I'll come with you."

He froze. "How did you know?"

She shrugged. "Lucky guess. Besides," she added, reaching for his hand. "It's what she would have wanted for you. Besides, with Eggy out of commission for good, you've got nothing but time to do it."

He knew immediately which "she" the spy referred to: Maria, his surrogate sister from long ago, whose wish to see the world had never been realized. He also knew Rouge wasn't wrong about Eggman, either. He was gone. Completely. Nothing could restrain Shadow, limit him, make him doubt himself and his decisions.

He was, for all intents and purposes...free. And Rouge wanted to fly in that freedom with him. She helped him find it, after all.

A smile slowly spread across his face. "Then why wait?"

He grabbed her wrist, ready to venture forth, until he realized what was under her hand was not her wrist. It felt loose. Round. Like a piece of jewelry, no doubt. "Rouge...what is that?"

The ultimate life form could see her pause, her muzzle turning bright pink as she searched for words. "...It was from a long time ago," she answered. "I meant to tell you earlier today, but I forgot."

He tilted his head to the side. "Care to show me?"

She took a deep breath, and slowly slid down part of her glove from her elbow down to her wrist. He gasped as he realized what it was he felt: on her wrist was one of his inhibitor rings. "Is that–"

"Yeah," she answered, sheepishly, trying to avoid his eyes.

"How...?" was all he could ask. "When did you–"

"Since the ARK. When you fell from space back down to Mobius. Sonic found it...he gave it to me when I asked you where you went."

The bat looked back up. "Everyone thought you were dead, but something told me I would find you again...and I did. But you lost your memory, and between all those androids, and the Black Arms, and Gemerl, and even beyond that..."

Her voice trailed off. She almost sounded shameful when she explained it, but Shadow didn't care. He could only stare back at her in wonder. "You wore it this whole time?"

She nodded. "I'd say it's more important than any jewel I've ever found. I value it."

The bat looked up at the hedgehog, the uncertainty in her eyes dissipating. "And I value the hedgehog that came with it just as much, if not more."

He was speechless. Even if she didn't say the exact words he expected her to, her intent was clear: she loved him.

And his feelings were certainly more than mutual. "Rouge...I–"

He was cut off when she reached up to kiss him. This wasn't just a flirty little peck on the cheek, however. This was a real kiss, one that represented all the pent-up passion and emotion finally coming out.

It was here that Shadow realized Rouge was not completely jewel-like. Jewels were hard, but her lips were soft against his. Jewels were angular and severe, nothing like the gentle curve of her waist. Jewels were sharp, unlike the smoothness of her skin and her hair.

No. There was not a single gem on the planet that could replicate this.

They broke apart almost reluctantly, but nothing could stop them from smiling. It was an unusual feeling for Shadow to experience, but it made sense that it was Rouge alone who could make it feel less strange.

He felt the spy nuzzle against his shoulder. "Where to now, ally?"

The hedgehog couldn't help chuckling. He called her "ally" as far back as when they found Emerl. It was the closest thing to a nickname he was comfortable calling her. "You're more familiar with this world than I am. You tell me."

She looked back up at him. "I hear Spagonia is nice this time of year. Might take us a while to get there, though..."

"Are you sure?" He reached from behind his quills and brought out a Chaos Emerald. "Just in time to watch the sunrise."

His hold around her waist secured itself further. "Ready when you are."

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Let's get moving."

He held up the Emerald in the air, effortlessly uttering the words, "Chaos Control!"

Together, in a brilliant flash of light, they disappeared as the sun sank down over the horizon, awaiting a new day in Spagonia, a new day that would usher in a new era in their lives, one full of adventure, freedom, and most importantly, one where they finally found peace.

#melissa writes #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #shadouge #my sonic series otp #Anon i'm so sorry for taking so long #writing these prompts down and getting ideas and whatnot took longer than i wanted #but i hope you like these!#also HI I'M STILL TAKING WRITING PROMPTS!!!!!#ask away!#now back to my regularly scheduled blogging

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darkhymns-fic · 3 years

Text

Yearning of a Fool

Vicious has never wanted anything more than what he's already got. But of course, he just had to go and make it harder on himself.

Fandom: Tales of Crestoria Characters/Pairing: Aegis Alver/Vicious, Yuna Azetta Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3

The Great Transgressor did not yearn for anything except for the feel of the trigger against his finger.

There was always a rush through Vicious’ heart when he’d hear the tell-tale hum of the Enforcers, electricity crackling through cloaks, uplifted by seething hate alone. They weren’t very smart either, which made them perfect for target practice.

“Would you watch yourself?” spoke a familiar voice. Aegis stood next to him, parrying away a giant hand that tried to reach for his throat with his spear. “You always get entirely too reckless.”

“Hey, if you hate the way I fight, you can always do some babysitting instead and help the others.” Vicious grinned as he vaporized another Enforcer with a blast. Ah, the fireworks that would appear when one died – one of the prettiest sights he ever saw. “Not like I need help!”

Aegis held out his spear, blocking another attack, the hood of the burning Enforcer moving in close – but his blood sin shone bright, and with obvious effort, he shoved it away before stabbing it straight through its empty mass. One could not withstand the other, and the cloak fell to the ground in a heap. “Compared to the rest of our group, regrettably, I would prefer to have you by my side on the battlefield.”

“Heh, really.” Like he’d buy that. This pretty boy was probably just looking for a chance for him to mess up. But Vicious wouldn’t give him that satisfaction, again shooting away another Enforcer before it could ever get close. Maybe he did it with a bit more style this time, just to show off a little. He only wanted to check if the knight was looking, and so turned his head to see…

But what he saw was Aegis running up to him, hand gripping his shoulder while the other held the spear in front of them both. “Watch out!”

So there had been another enemy, sneakier than the rest, one that had been ready to snatch Vicious from behind. It might have resulted in a few nasty burns, maybe a broken arm that would have taken more than a day to heal. But with Aegis, the Enforcer was sliced clean in half, his weapon out in one hand, while the other continued to grip onto Vicious.

Just as the Enforcer died in a radiant glow, they both fell to the ground.

“H-Hey!” Vicious tried to stand up, but Aegis’ legs were tangled in his own, the spear laid across them both somewhat – the stupid thing was heavy. His own guns had disappeared, leaving his hands bare. “Why’d you do that? You know I can’t die!”

Aegis stiffened. One hand was pressed against Vicious’ chest – lingering, fingers curled against the bronze clasps of the black vest – before he tried to move off him. “Just, repaying a debt. For saving me that day.” Aegis pressed his lips together, eyes looking away. “I can at least do that.”

Something about this was frustrating. Aegis was still somewhat sprawled over him, and already he could see a wide-eyed Kanata in the distance, along with Misella (her own eyes filled with murderous intent as always). “Or are you trying to catch the big bad transgressor during battle?” That must have been it, irking Vicious. “I ain’t going down without a fight, so forget it.”

Aegis grimaced at the accusation, just before he finally stood up completely. “If you do not believe my reasons, then fine! I only…” Aegis clenched his fist, then walked away, his spear vanishing in a wisp of smoke. “Never mind. I won’t bother you on the battlefield anymore.”

“Well, that’s the best fucking news I’ve heard all day!” Vicious yelled, still seated on the ground, his chest burning slightly, almost expecting Aegis to turn around again. But he didn’t.

The Great Transgressor did not yearn for anything, except…

Damn, he was an idiot.

Yuna raised an eyebrow. “Have you always been this thick-headed, mon amie?”

Finding the inn later that day, the group needed a rest from that battle, and Vicious had needed a drink badly. But it wasn’t helping his mood like it usually did, clearly.

“The hell you babbling about? If it’s about earlier, I just lost my rhythm.” He threw back his head as he drank, the beer most likely tasting bitter.

Yuna shook her head, sipping out of her own cup that she gently cradled in both hands. She had said it was tea, for her complexion, but she knew Vicious mostly caught onto her little white lies by now. “You certainly lost more than that. I’d ‘ave thought you’d be jumping for joy zat your dear heart didn’t waver when it came to saving you.”

“Ugh, don’t say it like that. It’s weird.” Yuna could tell he regretted confessing to her about his cute crush, but she knew how to spin the truth out of people when she wanted to. “He was just saving my dumb ass, not like it meant anything.”

“You really believe that?”

“What else could it be?!” Vicious threw the mug against the table, splattering the rest of the drink until it dripped into the crevices of the wood. It turned a few heads, but Yuna was used to that herself. “Ya heard what he said. Debt repaid and all that crap.”

Her voice went a pitch softer, losing its amusement. “You do not notice, then, the way he looks at you?”

“Like how? Like he wants to scrape me off his boot?” Vicious shook his head, closed his eyes. “I’m done.”

She didn’t need to see to her side, where Aegis spoke to the innkeeper, probably trying to haggle down their prices, all while sneaking glances towards them – towards Vicious.

Quel dommage. She shook her head. They are both idiots.

#tales of crestoria #aegis alver #vicious #yuna azetta #vicaegis #aecious #fanfiction #one shot #i still dont know what their ship name is...#so i put two??

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kamilah-is-queen · 3 years

Note

Great ! but i have to warn you it’s gonna be a LONG one as i have written all the ideas but i can’t write the scenario without it being VERY cheesy. plus I’d appreciate it if you didn’t include smut in my request which i’ll post after this one but maybe just some fluff and “indicators” of following smut but not actually writing any 😂 (ps. you don’t have to reply to this ask neither the following ask in which i’ll put the whole fic idea)

I was informed that @rocketscientist07 had written a similar piece on AO3, so just to clarify I don’t mean to copy their work and ideas. Credit for this idea goes to the anon that requested this. The beginning of the story is changed slightly from the end scene from Bloodbound, due to an easier plot style.

Link to The Darker Side

Tagging: @wisebananapatrol, @kamilahtopme, @vonda-b-real, @iamsimpforpoppy, @millasayeed, @clan-sayeed-fic, @queenkamilah

Rheya outstretched a blood soaked hand towards the Bloodkeeper, an evil smirk rising to her face. “Come with me, Amy. Learn what true power feels like..” A glow of orange light blossoming out of her hand as she guided it towards the Bloodkeeper. “..These puny creatures living in my shadow can’t give you the power, the strength, the potential to rule the world and have you as it’s Queen Amy.”

The young vampire in an attempt to satisfy her curiosity, reached her fingers towards the bright glow from Rheya’s hand. A bolt of energy burst through her body, the pain replaced by strength, her insecurities replaced with a new found confidence.

She lifted off the stage, the same beam of light emitting from her eyes as Rheya’s voice echoed inside the Bloodkeeper’s head. “These mortals don’t deserve to live Amy,” she said, gesturing to the dumbfounded group of humans in their seats, “kill every last one of them.” The First commanded.

Amy closed her eyes as the power grew, Jax, Lily and Adrian watched in horror before Kamilah sprang to the place beneath Amy. “Amy, wait!” The youngest vampire bowed her head to meet Kamilah’s eyes, her voice deeper than a crack of thunder. “It’s too late, Kamilah.

The Egyptian didn’t attempt to stop the tears that slid from her eyes, her heart breaking into a thousand pieces all over again. “No, Amy no, it isn’t too late. You can fight this, I know you can, my love.” Her voice cracked, fear and anxiousness rising in her voice.

“You're stronger than anyone I’ve ever known, even stronger than I thought...than I thought you could’ve been Amy. We’ve been through so much, all of us, don’t give up now..”

“We defeated Gauis together, traveled to Japan and worked with the Five. Crashed down on that island where Demetrieus’s tree was living. If you weren’t strong or powerful, none of us would be here today Amy. None of us.”

Amy watched intently, before turning her head away. “I’m not who you think I am, not anymore.” She raised her hands toward the sky and closed her fists, the mortal crowd screaming in agony before one by one, the blood pooled out of their bodies and towards Amy.

The tears fell furiously as Kamilah sunk to her knees, sobbing into her hands. “My my, what a pity.” Rheya cackled into the night sky, extending her hand to Amy once more. With a final look towards her friends, towards everything she ever knew, she met Kamilah’s gaze.

Amy saw fear. She saw the memories of them flash through Kamilah’s eyes. Memories of them sharing the warmest of cuddles and the softest of kisses. Memories of the two laughing into the night sky, and some of when the night was more passionate like in the Cabin. The moment when Kamilah confessed her love as Amy slipped away from the world, all of them meaning nothing in that split second.

Amy relived the moments where she broke down Kamilah’s steel walls, especially the walls of her heart. She had to make a decision. Would she stay with Kamilah and enjoy the safety and security of the Egyptian? Or, would she choose Rheya and her promise of power and control over the world. To rule as a true queen, with no boundaries to constrict here.

The voice in Amy’s head screamed at her to choose Kamilah, but if she did, one of her friends wouldn’t make it. She knew that one of them wouldn’t, and she couldn’t risk it. After everything she’d been through, they were family. And it was wrong to turn your back on family, but it was for the greater good. Only, the gang didn’t see it as that.

“I’m sorry..” Amy’s voice barely a whisper, before she took Rheya’s hand and they disappeared into the night sky.

“No! No, no, no, no!” Kamilah slammed her fist into the stage of the opera house, her vision blurred with the tears streaming down her cheeks. She punched the stage again, and again, and again until her hands were completely soaked in blood and the skin on her knuckles ripped as Adrian attempted to calm her.

He wrapped his arms around her, a strong grip holding Kamilah in place as she shrieked with the heartache. Kamilah eventually tired out, the events of the past few weeks catching up to her. The plane crash with Gauis, the trip to Japan, all the moments with Amy, they all came crashing and burning in her heart.

“It’s okay Kamilah, she’s made her decision. It’s okay, we’ll find a way to get her back.” He slowly rocked the older vampire in his arms, his heartbeat a comforting rhythm as Kamilah relaxed.

“What if she doesn’t..want to come back Adrian?” Kamilah’s voice thick with grief, feeling a sense of instability for the first time in her life. Adrian took a deep breath, steeling himself, “I promise, she will. She can’t leave you, leave us like this without reason sister. Love will bring her back to you”

“She betrayed us.” With enough agony for the day, Kamilah passed out into Adrain’s arms. Her heart weighing in her chest like an anvil, an anvil broken into thousands of heavy little pieces.

5 years later…

The roaring noise of the thunder and lightning filled the night sky as Amy walked through the streets of Japan. She gripped the fabric of her clothes, the material drenched in the rain but that didn’t stop her from continuing forward.

The lasting words of her previous conversation rang through Amy’s head…

“Demetrius, if we wish to obtain the type of power we seek, then we mustn’t stand idle. What are we waiting for? One move and the superpowers of the world will be beneath us, begging for mercy.”

Rheya clenched her fist and raised it to the sky, her eyes glimmering with hope yet dark with longing. The four were placed at the dinner table, Rheya at the head and Demetrius, Lola, Gauis and Amy positioned nearby.

When Amy had agreed to join Rheya in her hungry quest for power, she had also unknowingly agreed to be an anchor to the other side. With a lack of support, Rheya brought both Lola and Demetrius back to life. Not only for emotional support, but for advice in their conquest.

Unfortunately, this only worsened Amy’s condition. As if being away from anyone she’s ever known was difficult enough, the burden of being the link between the living and the dead was also placed upon her shoulders.

As Amy listened on to the conversation, rage filled in her chest. All the innocent lives of mortals to be lost, at the cost of one of her friends was unbearable to think about. The anger consumed her, filling her body and she didn’t attempt to cease it.

“While you may be right, Rheya...we’re still lacking the resources to pull something like this off. I think we should wait, hold off as long as possible and strike when least expected.” Amy stood from the table, excusing herself as she prayed her tactics had worked.

“Amy wait…” Gauis stood and immediately rushed after her. “I know something’s off, you’ve never acted like this before.” He gently cupped Amy’s face with a hand, Amy leaning into the touch before pulling away slowly. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.” She replied with a small smile.

Gauis had been there through it all. From the very first night she spent with the First and her crew up until that point. In some ways, they had grown close. When Amy needed security and a sense of tranquility, Gauis was the first to be at her side. Through all his hardened and almost non existent emotions, he felt sorry for the girl. She was a mere child, thrown into a whirlpool of danger and excitement and he felt it was his place to keep her safe.

They’d spent many nights together, Gauis not knowing whether Amy truly felt for him the way he did for her, or if it was an escape to a land of peace and calm.

With a small sigh, Gauis pulled his hand back. “Perhaps a stroll will clear your mind. Allow me to join you, my Queen?”

“I think it’ll be best if I took this one alone.” Amy encouragingly squeezing his hand before strolling out through the castle’s gates.

Now, as she walked aimlessly through the brightly lit streets, there was only one person on her mind...Kamilah. She’d overheard conversations about the gang relocating to Japan, to strengthen their base and form a stronger alliance with the Five. Of course that was Rheya’s first plan, to wipe them out but with quick thinking, Amy was able to hold her off.

But it wouldn’t last for long, and that’s why Amy was going to take Rheya, Demetrius and Lola out. But only with the help of her family.

Amy strode in through the doors of the famous club, the club where Amy had first seen Aiko. As she looked around, the familiar faces brought a warm sensation to heart. They were safe, her family was alive.

Small murmurs pulled Amy out of her thoughts, her gaze falling to each and every person in the room. Adrian was seated on a bar stool beside Lily, the pair speaking in hushed whispers as they gazed at Amy. Jax was sipping a glass of whiskey, Akeyo, Henry, Kano and The Evolved beside him.

Then, there was Kamilah. Seated comfortably in one of the cream sofas, Aiko nestled on her lap with a glass of wine in hand.

Amy felt a lump rise in her throat, her eyes threatening to give way to tears as she looked on. Kamilah hadn’t noticed Amy’s presence for she was too indulged in covering Aiko in gentle kisses. Kisses that only Amy was allowed to have, touches that Kamilah swore would only be placed upon Amy, now onto a new partner.

“Hello love, did you miss me?” Amy said with a smug smirk across her face, her gaze directed at Kamilah. The vampires looked up from their previous conversation, Kamilah’s eyes widening in disbelief. “I know I’m the last person you want to be speaking to, but I don’t care. I need your help and you guys are family, I know you wouldn’t give up on me.” She said, her head bowed slightly.

When Amy lifted her head, Kamilah was standing before her. The Egyptian’s features hadn’t differed from their usual breathtaking appearance. Her eyes never wavering from Amy’s as the two fell into a trance.

“It’s you...it’s really you Amy.” Kamilah hesitantly took a step forward before her arm was snatched back by Aiko.

“Why would we help you, traitor?” Aiko practically spitting out the words with a scowl across her face. Amy took in the remarks before replying, “I don’t think a useless mutt like you could have the brain capacity to help anyways.” She said while checking her fingernails.

Kamilah held Aiko back as the vampire lunged towards Amy, “You little bitch I swear I’ll get you one day!”

“Enough Aiko!” Kamilah’s eyes flashed a threatening maroon colour, forcing Aiko to back down and regain her composure.

“Fine, but this rotten piece of shit…” Aiko whispered harshly with her finger pointed at Amy’s face, “should’ve never shown her face here.”

As the Five assisted in dragging Aiko away, Kamilah refocused her attention back on Amy. “Let’s talk somewhere more private, shall we?” Lily led the four towards the back room, everyone standing at a distance from each other as an awkward silence filled the room.

Adrian was the first to speak as he set his glass down on the table…”Amy, you know we’d never turn our back on you but you have to understand, what you did 5 years ago isn’t something to be taken lightly.” His face was oddly calm and nonchalant, something that didn’t happen often with the CEO.

“You...you betrayed us…” Lily bowed her head as her voice cracked. Tears filled the vampire’s eyes as they slid down her cheeks.

“No, that’s what I’m trying to say. All this time, I’ve been with Rheya for the gang’s protection. It seems crazy, and twisted but..it’s not I swear.” Amy’s eyes pleaded innocently as she looked around the room.

“Everything you’ve ever known, all the memories you had and every single moment of tranquility, safety and warmth was left behind the second you agreed to join her Amy.” Kamilah spoke through gritted teeth. She swirled the wine in her glass, staring at the deep red liquid sloshing from side to side.

“Kamilah…” Amy felt the coldness in her heart melt away the moment she saw the pained expression on her lovers face. Kamilah’s deep, brown eyes glossed over as their memories washed over her, clear signs of pain reaking from the older CEO.

With a flick of her gaze, Kamilah stood and turned her attention to Amy. “If you’ll excuse us.” Jax, Adrian and Lily bowed their heads respectfully, leaving the two alone in silence.

“You’re not the same Amy I knew, not the Amy I fell in love with those years ago.” Kamilah took Amy’s hands into her own, holding them gently. “But, I can’t see you in this state. Not when Rheya’s controlling you like this, no. I’ll do everything in my power to help you Amy, whether you want me to or not.”

Kamilah searched Amy’s eyes looking for something, anything. Amy simply stood frozen like a statue, her gaze flicking between her lover’s deep brown orbs. With a sigh, the CEO withdrew her hands and tucked them away in her pockets. “The truth is...I still love you. All this time, I’ve still loved you. And perhaps you don’t feel the same Amy but, I’m willing to wait for you. Be it years, or centuries...I’ll always be there to support you.”

And with that, Kamilah left without another word leaving Amy to her thoughts.

“I don’t see why you have to help her.” Aiko speaking through a tense jaw, her arms folded as she paced around their bedroom. “Because she was once mine, Aiko. I can’t sit by and watch her deteriorate like this.” Kamilah said as she gazed through the window up at the bright moon in the sky.

Aiko huffed, gripping Kamilah’s collar as her gaze fell to the CEO’s lips. “I think I need to remind you of who you’re with now, no?” Her voice dropped an octave, Aiko’s tongue licking a path across Kamilah’s lower lip.

“No, not tonight Aiko.” Kamilah gently, but firmly pushed Aiko off with a sigh. “You still love her, don’t you?” Aiko’s eyes flashed with hurt as Kamilah nodded quietly.

“How could I not love her? I know that we were together before but...this can’t go on. Not anymore.” Kamilah offered a small smile, kissing Aiko’s knuckles ever so softly.

“Ugh, fine. Whatever.” Aiko scoffed before storming out of the room, mumbling curses under her breath. “I’ll get that little weasel, she’s gone.” Aiko harshly whispered before rushing out of the club.

Four weeks later….

Amy, Jax, Adrian and Kamilah all gathered round in the club, a stage brightly lit in the front with a microphone on a stand.

Amy jumped up the stage, excitedly gripping the mic and tapping the tip. “Testing, testing.” Her voice rang through the room, the other three gazing up at the woman on stage.

Without warning, music started blaring through the speakers, the floor pounding with the bass. Amy gripped the mic tighter and closed her eyes. A smooth, deep voice rang through the speakers and set the gang into a trance.

“What a badass.” Lily chuckled as she sipped the beer in her hand.

“You’re saying that to a woman whose come from a small town in Massachusetts, making it big in NYC and successfully taking down the biggest threat the shadow world has ever faced. I’d say that’s quite badass.” Kamilah smirked behind her glass, watching Amy with rapt attention.

Adrian laughed and fixed the liquor behind it’s replacing place on the shelf, “Nothing less than remarkable, if you ask me. She’s made such a big difference to so many people. To us, especially.”

They all nodded in agreement before Jax spoke up. “She’s sacrificed everything for us. Love, her family, her friends...let alone the only humanity inside her. All because that psycho Rheya can’t give up her lust for power.”

Just as Amy had started the song, she closed it on a high note as the bass from the speakers started to cease. She opened her eyes to see the gang gazing intensely at her, studying her as if she was a display in a museum.

“Well, this has been fun but...I’m ready to hit the hay.” Lily yawned and outstretched her arms, Jax laughing and slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Right behind ya.”

With Adrian and Kamilah not far on their heels, Amy felt her voice rising from her throat again. She had nothing on her mind but the lyrics spinning through her head, Kamilah the source behind them.

“My head's under water, but I'm breathing fine.

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind…”

Kamilah lingered at the threshold of the door, her ears peeking up as she listened to Amy’s strong voice.

“Cause all of me,

Loves all of you,

Love your curves and all your edges,

All your perfect imperfections.”

Amy poured her heart out into the words as her chest pounded with desire and longing for her lover and partner. She imagined Kamilah standing before her, her graceful smile and endless chestnut eyes staring right back into hers.

Kamilah flicked her gaze back to Amy once before walking away, a small smile spreading across her face as she hummed the lyrics. “Perhaps, she does still love me…” She whispered to herself quietly.

A few days later, Amy found herself in the terrace pool, her arms leaning back on the glass as she gazed at Kamilah in front of her. Those deep eyes gazed right through Amy, Amy so lost in them that she didn’t realize when Kamilah had gotten closer.

Kamilah’s breath tickled her neck, before the CEO lifted her head, purposely brushing her lips to Amy’s. “Will...you allow me to kiss you, Amy?” A hopeful look shone in her eyes, the same way the moonlight reflected off the pool and into her orbs.

Amy didn’t bother to respond, because she cupped Kamilah’s face...kissing her with every ounce of longing inside her body. Their lips crashed, Kamilah’s hands exploring Amy’s body as their tongues swirled around one another’s. They found a familiar rhythm, the moment feeling as if it was meant to be.

Not long after, Kamilah lifted the younger vampire out of the pool, wrapping Amy’s legs around her hips before she carried them inside for a well needed night full of passion, and desire.

—————————————-—

“It’s time.” Amy strapped her weapons to her hips before looking around at the rest of the group. “We either destroy Rheya and her crew now, or we live forever under her reign.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, finalizing the last of their plans and securing their weapons. Kamilah took Amy’s hands, resting her forehead to her own. “No matter what happens, I love you Amy.”

They both knew what happened last time those words were spoken, when everyone mourned Amy after her ‘death’. “I love you too Kamilah, I’ll always love you.” With a soft smile, Amy pecked Kamilah’s lips and turned to lead the way to Rheya’s mansion.

“Amy, you’ve retur-“ Rheya was thrown back against the wall, the plaster beneath her breaking and crumbling. Rheya cackled into the night before lifting herself into the air.

“Do you really think you and your pathetic crew can defeat me? The First?” As if on command, Gauis led a small army of ferals towards the four. “They’re not just my crew, they’re my family!” Amy lunged for Rheya, honing her senses and channeling her energy into the First’s mind.

Kamilah was one of the first to spring into action, instinctively toward Gaius. Their daggers clashed together, their faces inches apart as Kamilah wore a harsh frown, whereas Gaius had a smirk. “So we meet again, my Queen.” The sound of metal on metal filled the room as the battle continued, before Kamilah swept out his feet from underneath him. “I’m not your Queen, Gaius.” Her daggers hovered over his throat, “But, I will be the death of you.” Without hesitation, she slashed her daggers across his neck, beheading him instantly.

After that, the battle seemed to cease except for Amy and Rheya. “You took everything from me! My friends, my emotions, my humanity!”

Amy plunged her hand deep into Rheya’s chest, Rheya gasping through unable to move because of Amy’s control. She yanked the beating heart out of the vampires chest, blood dripping down her wrist. “And now I’ll take everything from you.”

Rheya lay lifeless, before crumbling to ash the same way Gaius had. Ferals ash covered the floors of the manor as the group reeled back from the attacks.

“Amy, you're alright…” The younger vampire collided with Kamilah, latching on for dear life. Kamilah tightened her hold and exhaled the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“I love you Kamilah…”

“I love you too, My Queen.”

#choices kamilah #kamilah sayeed #Bloodbound

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might-be-a-zygon · 3 years

Note

Ohhhh Thasmin and "are you kidding me?! you're not 'fine'!" OR River/13 and "i can't believe i almost lost you

This one got away from me a little, I’ll admit. It’s pretty angsty and features a lot of (canon) character death, so fair warning on that one.

I’ll add an AO3 link in the reblogs!

---

The Ghosts That Broke My Heart

Sleep had always been a funny thing for the Doctor. She certainly needed a lot less of it than her human friends, but it had always been a reliable break from whatever life chose to throw at her that week. She had dreams, like everyone did, but there was one thing which the Doctor didn’t really do.

She didn’t have nightmares.

Really, what would she have them about? The Doctor faced the creatures of nightmares every day. To some species, the Doctor was a creature of nightmares.

Still, after what had happened on Gallifrey? She’d found the creatures that could jolt her awake screaming.

Ghosts.

Whatever she’d done to overload the matrix had broken centuries of carefully constructed barriers, holding back the people she’d lost, and now her mind saw fit to make her relive each dark moment whenever she let her guard down to try and sleep.

It had started out right away- that first night in the Jadoon prison she’d laid down on the slab that passed for a bed, and closed her eyes to sleep.

“What does that mean?”

Jenny was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, all wide-eyes and excited smiles. The Doctor could recognise a lot of her own nervous energy in the young woman- ready to go off and explore the brave new world that awaited them. She also saw the gunman poised to take all that away in a moment.

It was like she was watching through thick glass. Poised on the sidelines, watching her past selves getting it all wrong over and over, but helpless to interfere. She slammed her palm against it, sending a too-real shooting pain through her arm, but making no audible sound.

“It means a new world.”

Sandshoes was grinning now, more genuine hope than she could ever really remember feeling shining in those eyes. He’d burned in the end- she remembered that much. He’d been angry. Vengeful.

The Timelord Victorious.

How different might things have been if he’d just turned around? The Doctor tried to speak, to shout for him to get her out of the way. Her voice didn’t make a sound.

She watched the happiness melt from Jenny’s face, even as Sandshoes maintained his stupid, complacent grin. The Doctor was pounding on the glass now, silently screaming that it wasn’t worth it, but of course she couldn’t change it. Jenny shoved Sandshoes out of the way, the bullet striking her square in the chest. Martha- brilliant Martha who she’d never once deserved- she knew right away there was no chance. She watched her past-self hold their dying daughter, and tell her of a future she’d never see, already knowing she was beyond saving. Lies had always fallen too easily from her tongue.

“You’re gonna be amazing, you hear me, Jenny?”

Had she even heard?

That first night, when she woke with a whine, curled up into a tight ball on her uncomfortable prison bed, the Doctor had attributed it to stress. She’d jumped haphazardly from Byron, to the cybermen, to Gallifrey, to prison with no time to clear her head. The Master always did funny things to her mind, anyway, it was normal there’d be some aftereffects.

Her hand ached from where she’d been slamming it into the ‘bed’.

She tried to shake the traitorous vision of Jenny- bright, young Jenny with so much potential sacrificing herself for the father she hardly knew. The father who would go on to do so much damage.

Against her better judgement, she’d turned over, and tried to get to sleep again. It was the last time she made that mistake.

The first thing the Doctor heard this time, was screaming.

She was on a ship, which certainly wasn’t her TARDIS. It took her a minute to recognise the place- but, maybe that made the whole thing even worse. Somebody was screaming for her help, and she couldn’t even remember who it was.

She stood there, behind whatever barrier her mind had constructed to stop her interfering, and watched the doddering old fool she’d been back then just stand there while a good woman was in trouble just feet away. She could have reopened the airlock doors- she’d known how- but she’d been so desperate to look for a way around it, that she’d left Katarina there screaming.

“Change course.” The Doctor in front of her finally ordered. “Take him back to Kembel. Take him back to Kembel! Let the Daleks deal with him.”

In that moment the Doctor looked into her own eyes and saw a spark of that ruthless fire which would one day burn galaxies. It was that same fire that made her risk tearing time apart for Clara Oswald- the fire that burned too brightly. If she was feeling generous, she might have called it admirable, that she was willing to fight so unbelievably hard for the people she loved.

Right now, she called it selfishness.

Steven stepped towards the old Doctor, his anger doing a poor job at masking his fear. “Yes, and us!”

“Don't worry, dear boy, We'll find a way out.” The Doctor cringed at her first face (or, the first face she remembered), while standing in her glass prison. Her methods of comfort hadn’t come on any in three thousand years. She was still a liar.

Both of the men who’d been with her bck then had been afraid. Bret had even tried arguing with her, but the Doctor had never been an easy person to argue with.

“I can't sacrifice everything for the sake of that one girl.” He argued, still at the controls. Luckily, she was spared the embarrassment of having to watch her former self argue by Steven stepping in.

“Listen! Without us you wouldn't have got off Kembel at all, and nothing would be worth bothering about!”

“All right, so we all go back together. But without me, I doubt that you would have got this far either.” Bret had given in quickly enough, and all the while the Doctor just stood and watched, and listened to Katarina’s frightened screaming in the airlock.

She watched as Katarina broke free and hit the release for the airlock. She watched as both her and Kirksen were sucked out into space. She watched, and knew that that girl- that girl who was so brave in the face of so much danger- had sacrificed herself so the three of them could get away.

Her hearts ached, as she thought of a dozen ways she could have saved her, if she’d tried harder.

“She wanted to save our lives and perhaps the lives of all the other beings of the Solar System.” The old Doctor in front of her began to make his silly speech, and the Doctor turned away, revolted at her own self-importance. “I hope she's found her Perfection. Oh, how I shall always remember her as one of the Daughters of the Gods. Yes, as one of the Daughters of the Gods.”

Rule one.

She hadn’t thought about Katarina in centuries. That poor, brave woman, who had made the ultimate sacrifice to keep them all alive, and the Doctor hadn’t even bothered to remember her.

The Doctor had awoken, still curled up on that cold stone slab, unable to shake the revulsion at her own actions. Was she still like that man? So pompous as to think that every being in the universe made their decisions based around her.

She hadn’t tried to sleep again, after that, shifting to lay on her back, staring at the celling, and trying to shake what somewhere, deep down, she knew.

There were very, very good reasons, she was in prison.

At first, it was always death. Faces she’d remembered, and ones she’d long since forgotten, all meeting their end because the Doctor had failed to save them.

“It snapped my neck, Sir. It wasn’t as painless as I expected, but it was pretty quick, so that was something.”

Angel Bob.

The Doctor had forgotten all about Angel Bob. He was young, and clever, and he was so scared, and she had just walked away and forgotten all about him, as though he’d never even existed.

She could see the look on the faces of the others- the muted horror on River’s, and the more pronounced look of it on her mother’s, as well as the well-managed grief of the soldiers who’d fought with him. They were all ghosts, now. Amy, River, the soldiers. All blown away like smoke on the wind.

“If you’re dead how can I be talking to you?” She tried not to think about the genuine interest her former self’s voice held in that moment- a man had just died, and Bowtie was curious about the mechanics.

“You’re not talking to me, Sir. The angel has no voice. It stripped my cerebral cortex from my body and reanimated a version of my consciousness to communicate with you. Sorry about the confusion.”

She tried her absolute best not to think too hard about how conscious the original Bob was at that moment. Had he known what had happened to him? Had he felt the angels turn him into their puppet?

She watched as Bowtie told them all to run- to run into the maze of weeping angels with no plan, and to just trust him, and she watched as he stopped behind to defend himself.

“Yes, I called you an idiot, and I’m sorry-“ He didn’t sound sorry at all, but the Doctor in her glass cage watching it play out certainly was, “But I couldn’t have saved your men.”

“I know that, Sir. And when you’ve flown off in your little blue box, I’ll explain that to their families.”

She watched, sick to her stomach, as Bowtie smirked.

“I’ll have to tell his mother.”

Seeing Rose, even after all this time, was still painful. This was only the second day they’d met, back before they’d travelled together. Before she’d managed to soften the war ravaged Doctor standing in front of her now.

The Ears had been one of her shortest lived, and angriest faces, and the ways he’d treated people were downright cruel at times. She saw the questioning look he gave Rose, clueless in the face of Mickey’s apparent demise, and why she’d be at all upset.

Why Rose hadn’t walked away then and there would forever be a mystery to the Doctor. She’d never once deserved that kind of love.

“Mickey” I’ll have to tell his mother he’s dead, and you just went and forgot him, again! You were right, you are alien.”

Alien didn’t have to mean cruel, though. So why did callousness seem to come so easily to her? Maybe it was just the sheer amount of death she’d witnessed, but it still hurt to see. She had to keep reminding herself that this death, at least, hadn’t been real- that Mickey was alive and living on earth, raising a son with his dad’s eyes and his mum’s brains who’d have the whole world talking in a few years.

At least it was a good reminder of why she was staying away from August Smith.

“Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey-“

“Yeah, he’s not a kid-“

The Ears cut Rose off before she could keep speaking, but the Doctor watching from the side-lines found herself nodding in agreement. Rose was right. Of course Rose was right.

“It’s because I’m busy trying to save the life of every stupid ape blundering about on top of this planet! Alright?”

“Alright!”

“Yes, it is!” Ears sounded insufferably smug.

The Doctor shook her head in disgust, glancing at Rose and quietly muttering, “Why did you ever put up with me?”

“Look out!”

It was another voice she hadn’t heard in a long time, and one she’d frankly been dreading hearing. If Nyssa was here she had a good idea of what she was about to see. She saw the cybermen coming up behind her back, while her fifth-self fumbled with the controls. It was as good as useless.

A cyberman lumbered up behind her, and her past-self ignored it completely, leaving Nyssa to have to shoot it down with a discarded cyberweapon. She was once again saved by a more competent friend, and her own hypocrisy when it came to guns.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever even thanked Nyssa for saving her life.

“I must save Adric!”

Stuck in the corner, exhausted and emotionally drained, the Doctor was just glad that, while she was having to watch another of her failures, this version of herself was at the very least trying.

“Look!”

“Adric.”

The screen came to life, and the Doctor tried to shut her eyes so she wouldn’t have to watch, but of course it didn’t work- in her dreams she wouldn’t be allowed to block out the parts she didn’t want to see. The only consolation was that she wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes.

She’d always been cowardly like that.

She watched as the ship began to come apart- watched as Tegan and Nyssa held each other, and Celery just stood there gawping like a fish who couldn’t believe his own incompetence.

She still remembered that feeling- like someone had clawed the hearts out of her chest and shown them to her. Back then, it’d been such a long time since she’d really lost someone that she wasn’t used to the pain of it anymore.

When had she become careless enough that death just bounced off of her?

It only took ten days of reliving her worst moments before the Doctor had begun actively fighting sleep. Prison, at least, was a safe enough place to do it. She’d pace her cell at night to keep herself from drifting off- reciting books she knew by heart, or just talking to herself to keep her eyes from closing for too long. During the day, she’d do the same- chatting to the other prisoners, pacing, never letting herself remain still for fear of finally giving into the exhaustion which seemed to have seeped into her bones.

Of course, even a Time Lord (if she could even call herself one anymore), couldn’t stay awake forever. After weeks of forcing her eyes to stay open, she’d eventually collapse, usually when she was in her cell, if she was lucky, and she’d endure another walkthrough her past- too exhausted to even wake up- before being woken by the prison systems to begin all over again.

After a while she’d slip into waking dreams, too exhausted to even think straight. She’d sit in her cell, nutrient block in hand, while her sleep deprived mind played out snippets of her life, a few seconds at a time, while she fought to wake up enough to dismiss the visions.

At first, when she next saw herself- sitting on a bench, eating chips, she thought maybe this was just her mind crying out for some real food. It was easy to forget the specifics of what had been discussed all those years before, after twenty years sitting in a cell.

“She scares me.” Came Bill’s voice from next to the older-Doctor, quiet in its honesty. Admitting you were scared was something so few people ever did- least of all when they were around the Doctor, and being brave was so important, but Bill had never been afraid to admit it to her. She’d been strong like that. “Like. She really scares me.”

As much as she still, after all this time, wanted the Master to be everything she knew he could be, it was hard to deny how right Bill had been to be afraid. After all- it was the Master who’d handed her over to the cybermen, in the end, just not the version she’d feared.

“Okay. Just, promise me one thing, yeah? Just promise you won’t get me killed.”

“I can’t promise you that!” Eyebrows had laughed at her, as though her concerns were something flippant. As though her fear was something worth laughing at. He’d been right, in the end, he hadn’t been able to keep Bill alive, but it was horrible looking back at it now.

The Doctor had managed to shock herself back into reality, but she hadn’t been able to shake the self-contempt that settled in her hearts.

Most of the time, those waking nightmares came while she was stuck sitting around, waiting for the time to come that she’d be allowed out into her tiny cube of the exercise yard, just for something to break up the routine of sitting alone, and thinking about death.

“I keep remembering all the people I’ve killed. Every day I think of more. Being bad- Being bad drowned that out. I didn’t know I even knew their names. You didn’t tell me about this bit.”

“I’m sorry, but this is good.”

“Okay.”

The Doctor watched herself hold her self-ascribed goodness over her oldest friend, and couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t what had driven the Master to the depths of madness he’d displayed on Gallifrey. She might have lorded it as a good thing back then, but she was quickly learning the types of things that isolation, imprisonment, and guilt could do to the mind. If she got out of prison with her sanity, she’d count it a blessing.

She’d dreamt about Missy a lot, after a while. The longer she stayed locked up, the more her guild-addled mind saw fit to remind her of her stint as jailor.

On those nights she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open, the Doctor saw herself through the glass again. It was her twelfth face- well, the twelfth she remembered- the one with the angry eyebrows and the trusting nature. She saw Missy standing there, looking more dishevelled than she had before the vault, standing so close to the forcefield that it was rippling. She looked strangely earnest despite the pantomime of madness she put o- as though she was proud of herself for actually helping.

She watched as Eyebrows shoved Bill back away from Missy, not seeming to care much about how what had just transpired had clearly affected her. She’d never been good enough for Bill- the kind, inquisitive girl who’d gone out of her way to buy the Doctor Christmas presents and who’d called her grandad, and who she’d promised she wouldn’t get killed. Bill who had been so strong, who had fought off the monks and the cybermen by sheer force of will. Bill who’d deserved so much more than what the Doctor had given to her.

She watched Eyebrows walk up to that rippling forcefield, and look his oldest friend in the eyes like she was still the monster she pretended to be.

“Even if that was the truth the fact that you’re suggesting it shows that there’s been no change. No hope. No point.”

Eyebrows sounded angry, and the Doctor winced slightly at that. How was the Master ever supposed to change with the Doctor constantly telling her that her progress meant nothing? Was that why she’d given up in the end? It had to be easier to go back to what you’d known before rather than being constantly strung along and put down by someone who had promised to help you become better.

Missy’s face contorted for a moment. The Doctor left her here for months, all alone in this dusty room with almost nothing, and then he’d turned up just to talk to her like this? Her Twelfth face was one of the few she’d always thought of as good- or, if not good, at least kind. Sandshoes had been angry from the war and from everything he’d lost, but Eyebrows had tried so hard to be kind. Was this really what her version of kind did to people?

After her own stint in prison, leaving Missy trapped like this for so long was beginning to seem more and more cruel. She’d wanted to help people, she really had, but it wasn’t as though her friend had come to her and asked. She’d saved her, and then abused that power, keeping her prisoner for decades to try and make her into something she’d never tried to be. It was hard, knowing what had later become of the Master, not to wonder what all that time in the vault had done to their already fragile mental state. How much had she contributed to his snapping and destroying their home?

Looking at it like that how was the Doctor any better than the Jadoon? And how was Missy running off with the Master much different from her running with Jac They’d both been escaping jailors who kept them confined alone for long enough to drive them half-mad.

“We don’t sacrifice people.” The scene playing out in front of her was hardly easy, but the Doctor laughed anyway, because the irony of that wasn’t lost on her. She’d let so many people die for her as Rainbows that Eyebrows’ words felt hollow. “It’s wrong because it’s easy.”

“Back in the day I’d burn an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made. I’m sorry your plus one doesn’t get a happy ending, but like it or not I just saved this world because I want to change.”

There was a forced lightness to Missy’s voice, almost undetectable unless you really knew her well- and the Doctor knew her better than anybody. It’d been a cry for help, of sorts- she’d wanted her friend back, and Eyebrows had ignored her. She’d saved the world- the Doctor would have likely spent months searching for infected water supplies and food chains following up his own stupid theories, and Missy had told him the answer freely, and without reward. She’d saved the world and he’d told her there was no hope for her- no wonder she’d run.

“Your version of good is not absolute.” She continued, her fingers pushing slightly against the forcefield now. The Doctor watched it ripple from behind he own glass patrician, and she knew the look in Missy’s eyes far too well. If that forcefield had been replaced with glowing blue bars it could have been her in her own cell. At least during her imprisonment she hadn’t had to live with the knowledge that her oldest friend was her jailor. “It’s vain, arrogant, and sentimental.”

Vain, arrogant and sentimental.

She always had said the Master knew her soul a little too well.

Once the spectre of death faded, somewhat, it was her own shortcomings her subconscious decided to force onto her. Those moments when she’d forced others into complying with what she’d wanted- as though that was always her decision to make.

She was the Doctor, after all. Who would ever dare to question her whims as anything less than genius?

“You know you can fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hot-wiring the fragment links and superseding the binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary-“

Not this. Not Donna. How was this fair? At least with Jenny she hadn’t seen the gunman. She could see it in her past-self’s face that he knew this was killing her, and he was just standing there like an idiot, watching it happen. He could have stepped in sooner.

“I’m fine.” Donna was showing off that big grin, back to talking a mile-a-minute. The Doctor had always wondered if on some level she knew what this would do. She had all of that knowledge inside her head, it must have been somewhere in her all along that she’d become an impossible thing.

She didn’t pound on the glass or scream this time, watching her own past unfold with her hand pressed up against it. She mouthed I’m sorry, but no sound came out.

“I bet he’s great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go see Charlie Chaplin? Shall we? Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chester. Charlie Brown- no he’s fiction-“ She watched as Donna pranced around, playing with the console and the phone. This wasn’t quite Donna- not really. This Donna was far too Doctor- maybe that was why she found it so unsettling, seeing her charming, funny, irreverent friend talking like someone she hated.

“Friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton-“ Donna cut off with a gasp, and the Doctor wanted to slap Sandshoes for leaving her in this state. She had to be scared, and he wasn’t even bothering to explain it to her. Of course, with that much of the Doctor’s mind burning through her own, Donna had probably understood it all already, but there was still something to be said for compassion in a situation as horrific as this one.

“I was gonna be with you forever.” The sadness in Donna’s eyes spoke volumes. She’d trusted the Doctor so much, had so much planned for them, and it was all the Doctor’s fault.

If her hearts hadn’t already shattered they did now. Nobody ever stayed with her forever- not really. Even if she wanted them to, she’d always destroy them before they got a chance.

She was on the floor, kneeling on the dirty floor of a TARDIS she’d long since tried to forget. When had that happened?

“I know.”

She screwed her eyes shut, grateful that this time, at least, she managed to block out the visuals- maybe because this time, the sound of Donna begging for something the Doctor was too selfish to give her was enough. She wouldn’t watch Sandshoes lie to her like that- like he’d lied to Jenny, and to Bob, and to Steven. Pretty words to ease the pain she was about to put her through.

“I can’t go back. Doctor. Please. Please don’t make me go back.”

Listening to her beg wasn’t any easier than watching it. Or living it- especially now she knew just how painful it was to have your memories taken from you. Gallifrey may have erased her path, but she’d run roughshod over her friend’s mind just as carelessly.

“Donna Noble. I am so sorry. But we had the best of times.” Was that supposed to make either of them feel better? She’d been so self-righteous back then. The Doctor opened her eyes again, and regretted it almost immediately, curling in on herself behind her little partition. “Goodbye.”

“No. No! No please! No. No! No!”

Staying awake proved easier once she’d left prison.

During her incarceration, it had only been the thought of getting home to her fam which had really kept her going, so having Yaz back at her side was a real boost to her mood, which kept those waking nightmares at bay.

The running helped too- adrenaline in her system keeping the more dangerous effects of her sleep-deprivation at bay. Still, it didn’t mean that nights didn’t come where she came down from that high of finally being able to help again, and her tiredness came crashing down on her like a crushing weight.

This time, it came after a particularly harsh day.

She was getting sloppy in her exhausted state, and that sloppiness had put Yaz in far greater danger than she’d ever wanted to risk again. She’d told herself, that after the cybermen, and the daleks, she’d be more careful, but then all of a sudden there they were, stuck in a trap she should have been able to spot, if she was thinking clearly.

They’d been held hostage for longer than she was willing to admit- some scrapper who was very keen on getting hold of the TARDIS- not that he really knew what it was or what significance it held. No, for this man the greatest ship in the universe was worth some spare parts, and whatever the scrap value of its base components was.

They’d gotten out, in the end, but it wasn’t as though she could even take credit for that- it was quick thinking on Yaz’s part which had distracted their attacker for long enough for them to get to the TARDIS. As impressive as it was, it was still terrifying to see Yaz be so like her in the way she acted. The last person who’d wanted to be the Doctor had gotten killed trying to do so.

She’d hardly said a word once they returned to the ship, trying her best to ignore the furtive looks of concern she kept getting. She slipped off to the library alone when Yaz went to make a cup of tea, getting there on her fourth attempt (since the TARDIS seemed insistent on placing her room behind every door she opened), and counting on the near-infinite nature of the TARDIS rooms to hide her for a while. She needed a little space while she cleared her head and tried to get rid of some of the overwhelming guilt that was eating her up inside.

She could have gotten Yaz killed today with her carelessness. If Yaz wasn’t as good as she was, she would have gotten them both killed.

No matter what horrors from her past her brain decided to drudge up, a world without Yaz was still a terrifying thought.

“I’m not asking you for a promise. I’m giving you an order.”

She really didn’t want to see this.

The Doctor had not gotten her memories back just so she could watch Clara Oswald face the raven all over again. Even in prison her mind hadn’t been cruel enough to remind her of that particular death. She remembered the others- Oswin, and the governess she’d met in London, and a hundred other Clara’s who’d died to save her- but this one had never come up.

Evidently, her subconscious thought she needed a reminder of what happened when she took her eyes off things for a moment too long.

“You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no one else here, or anywhere, will suffer.”

Well there was a promise the Doctor hadn’t managed to keep. She’d tried to tear time itself apart to save Clara, and worst of all, she’d never even known if it succeeded. Testimony didn’t remember whether Clara had lived or died- it’d been taken the moment before the raven hit- before the Doctor had tried to pull her from her timeline. She had no memory of anything that’d happened with Clara after this, and while she knew they’d been together on Gallifrey, she didn’t know how permanent that salvation might be, or what about it had taken her memories to begin with.

“What about me?” Eyebrows asked, and the Doctor who was watching him managed a harsh, bitter laugh. Clara was dying, and as usual her former self was there to be selfish and make her comfort him.

“If there was something I could do about that I would. I guess we’ll both just need to be brave.”

“Clara-“ He was trying to argue again, but all at once she was pulling him into a hug, and looking at the desperation of it from the outside, the Doctor just knew that Clara was trying to pull some comfort from it too, since Eyebrows hadn’t been offering her any.

She’d been human, and she’d been dying, and she’d been scared, but she’d forced herself to be brave so her friend didn’t have to be.

Looking back on it, Clara had always been so much stronger than the Doctor had ever been.

“Don’t run.” It had to be the first time she’d ever said that to one of her friends in a bad spot. “Stay with me.” Eyebrows was practically begging her now. Worse than that, the Doctor knew that if she had to go back and do it again, she wouldn’t be any stronger.

“Nah.” She could see how heard Clara was working to keep her tone casual, not wanting to hurt the Doctor any more than this whole thing already would. It was heart breaking, really, knowing that even in her final moments she’d had to suppress her own feelings to try and save her pain. “You stay here. In the end everybody does this alone.”

She shouldn’t have had to do it alone.

“Clara-“ Eyebrows tried again, and if the Doctor wasn’t stuck in her self-imposed cell, she might have hit him. This was his last chance- why couldn’t he say something to her? Why couldn’t he make sure that she died knowing how deeply she was loved.

“This is as brave as I know how to be. I know it’s gonna hurt you but- please. Be a little proud of me?”

There was a hopeful note to Clara’s tone despite everything, and in the end that was what really broke the Doctor. Her hand was pressed against the glass, desperate to say something, but unable to- the sands of time separated them more surely than the glass ever could.

“Always.” She promised, because if Eyebrows wouldn’t say it, then this new Doctor would. “I’m always gonna be proud of you.”

Clara turned away from her, and walked towards her grave.

“No no no no…”

The Doctor’s eyes blinked open, giving her a hazy view of the warm purple walls of the TARDIS library. She was curled up in one of the armchairs near the fire, her eyes still heavy with sleep. How long had it been since she’d last slept? Weeks, at least. Maybe months. And since she’d last slept properly? Well that had been decades.

Her hands ached from where she’d been clutching onto the arms of the chair.

Her eyes were already falling closed again, too exhausted to even force herself to stay awake.

“If you die here it’ll mean I never even met you.”

She’d never really appreciated how true that statement was. Without the Doctor blundering through her mother’s life, River Song would never have existed. Melody Williams (would she even have been called Melody, with the paradox of her name?) would have grown up safe and happy, the human daughter of the journalist and the nurse. She’d have had a normal life. She’d have been raised by loving parents, and have had a happy childhood, and maybe even brothers and sisters- maybe she’d have still written books, or taught archelogy, and had a much happier marriage than theirs had been.

Melody Pond would have been so much better off if she had never met the Doctor.

“Time can be rewritten.” For once, she seemed to be in agreement with Sandshoes. He was selfish, but at least he’d have been doing her a favour.

“Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare. It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run.”

Live great lives. That’s what she’d told her fam. If anyone had lived up to that, and lived a great life despite the Doctor’s meddling, it had been River Song. They’d had some amazing times, saved so many people, so many planets. There were stars out there still burning because River Song had been there to save them.

If the Doctor had found a better way around getting the people out of there, there might have been so many more.

The computer counting down the seconds left of her life in the background wasn’t helping the way that the Doctor’s hearts were pounding. She was crying, now- she wasn’t sure when that had begun.

From her cell, she watched Sandshoes babble on about his guilt- his suspicions, being expertly put down by River. She was so used to shutting him up when he was talking about things he didn’t know anything about- she could really use that, right now.

She should have saved her.

“Hush now. Spoilers…”

River smiled, and the Doctor lunged at the glass in front of her, shouting words that even she could barely comprehend. She was still clawing desperately at the glass when the room flashed bright white.

The Time Lord didn’t even fully wake that time, despite having thrown herself onto the floor at some point during her anguish. She was barely drawn out of her nightmares for a moment, a noise that sounded awfully like a whimper escaping her. Her eyes were shut too-tightly, and she had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, fingernails digging into her arms as though that would protect her from the horrors of her own mind.

“Who decides they’re so unimportant? You?”

The Doctor knew where she was this time without even looking up. Somehow, this scared her even more. She wasn’t watching a loved one die, she was watching her own stupid power-play blow up in her face. This hadn’t been a mercy mission, it’d been her trying to prove to the whole Universe that the Doctor had power over all.

“For a long time now I thought I was just a survivor, but I’m not. I’m the winner- that’s who I am. The Time Lord victorious.”

“And there’s no one to stop you?”

“No.”

“This is wrong, Doctor. I don’t care who you are. The Time Lord victorious is wrong.”

Captain Adelaide. She’d been so brilliant- she’d understood more about this than her idiot younger self ever could. The Doctor just about managed to give her a smile from behind her glass wall before she resumed staring at Sandshoes in disgust.

“That’s for me to decide. Now, you better get home.”

It was chilling. Watching her old face shift so quickly. Darkness turned cocky in an instant as he pointed his sonic at the door. Unlike with the other dreams, The Doctor wasn’t shouting. She didn’t try to say a word, just watched on with self-loathing and dread weighing down her hearts. A silent spectator of her darkest moment since the Time War.

Sandshoes smirked at that brave, doomed woman, challenging her to argue her fate further. He’d set himself up as a self-styled God. “Oh it’s all locked up- you’ve been away. Still, that’s easy.”

“Is there nothing you can’t do?”

“Not anymore.”

She watched as the great Time Lord Victorious turned his back on Adelaide. She watched as the captain drew her gun. She braced herself for that flash of blue light and the thud of a body hitting the floor.

“Don’t do it, Adelaide.” She was talking to nobody, but she still couldn’t help herself trying to butt in- trying to fix the damage she hadn’t noticed until it was too late. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t-“

“Doctor?”

A hand on her shoulder drew her out of there before she had to watch that, jolting her awake. She came to, immediately caught off guard by the shadow of someone standing over her, and the scent of a familiar perfume hitting her. It took her a moment or so to place it, but when she did her hearts picked up a little. Yaz. Brilliant, wonderful, human Yaz who’d probably just heard her rambling all sorts of scary nonsense in her sleep.

“Doctor are you alright?”

The Doctor swallowed a little too hard and sat up quickly enough to make her head spin, forcing a familiar, false grin to spread across her face. Her body was aching from sleeping on the wooden floor, and she was pretty sure she was going to be bruised from where she’d fallen off the chair.

“Yaz! Yasmin Khan- Sorry, must have nodded off-“ Her voice sounded a little false even to her own ears, and she did her best to pass it off with a yawn.

“Sorry, just, you were talkin’ in your sleep an’ I thought-“ Yaz looked a little sheepish about waking her, and her eyes were full of concern.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry- Time Lord. Vivid dreams- I was…” She forced another yawn, trying to give herself time to think of a lie. “Did I ever tell you about the time I met a real life siren on a pirate ship? That was a good one, that. Dream about that one a lot. M’fine, though. Really.”

Yaz shot her a look that showed she didn’t believe the Doctor for a moment. There was a beats pause, before she exploded

“Are you kiddin’ me?! You’re not ‘fine’!” She drew air quotes around that last word, straightening up, to stand over the Doctor, showing she was serious.

“I’m-“

“I swear if you say ‘fine’ I’m gonna-”

The Doctor shut her mouth before Yaz could finish the threat.

There was a tense moment, almost like a standoff between the two of them, before Yasmin’s hard eyes softened, and she bent down to help the Doctor to her feet.

“I’m worried about y’.”

Suppressing her initial urge to insist that she was fine, the Doctor bit her lip.

“You shouldn’t be.” She eventually managed.

“When was the last time ‘y slept?” Yaz asked.

“About a minute ago.” The Doctor tried to make a joke. Yaz laughed weakly.

“Before that.” She clarified, glancing at the floor where she’d found the doctor collapsed.

“…I don’t remember.” The Doctor admitted.

Yaz sucked in a surprised breath through clenched teeth.

“Doctor-“

“I’m not human. I don’t need as much sleep as you lot.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yaz gave her another of those easy, disbelieving looks. “And that’s why I found you passed out on the floor cryin’?”

The Doctor blinked, bringing her hand up to her face. Sure enough, she’d been crying- she hadn’t even realised. Waking up with tears in her eyes was just normal by now.

“What’s so bad that it’s keepin’ you up?” Yaz leant forwards, taking one of the Doctor’s hands in both of her own. “Please don’t lie to me.”

There was an earnestness in her eyes that reminded the Doctor of all the people she’d loved most. Rose, Amy, River, Clara. Even Koschei. She’d always liked the people who could be honest with her the best- she needed honest people to stop her tearing herself apart and taking everyone else with her.

“I’ve lost a lot of people, Yaz.” She said, resigned note in her voice. “You saw Gallifrey. My home world is gone, my wife is gone, my children are gone, my granddaughter is gone. I’ve lost most of my friends, and- since Gallifrey, I can’t block them out anymore. I see them die every night.”

All at once, Yaz leaned forwards, just like Clara had in her dream, wrapping her arms tightly around the Doctor, holding her grounded to the spot. Even that brief contact allowed some of the tension in the Doctor’s body to loosen, her shoulder’s slumping as she leant into the contact.

“’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

Yaz pulled herself back from the hug, keeping her hands firmly on the Doctor’s arms, so she could ground her while looking her in the eyes.

“Have you got a bedroom on board?” She asked.

“Somewhere. How come?”

Yaz smiled, “Because you’ve gotta sleep sometime, and I think it’s probably comfier than the floor.” She let one of her hands fall, the other moving up to brush the hair out of the Doctor’s eyes. “Come on.”

She caught Yaz’s wrist in her hand, suddenly looking nervous. She was really worried where her subconscious would go from what had to be one of the worst things she’d ever done. “I don’t wanna. Not yet.”

“Y’ need to.” Yaz insisted, still trying her best to smile. The Doctor recognised that look from how often she herself wore it- that false-cheer that just barely covered the worry. “I promise I’ll sit with y’ the whole time- I can wake you up if you start makin’ noise.”

The Doctor thought about that for a minute. It’d certainly been easier to deal with the dream about Adelaide since she’d been pulled out of it before she actually had to hear the shot go off. If Yaz could pull her out of the bad moments before she had to see anything too bad- Maybe it would let the Doctor get a bit of sleep. It wasn’t the most elegant solution, and it didn’t seem as though it would last too long, but- it was an infinitely better one than her current plan of depriving herself of sleep until she could hardly stand.

“You really wouldn’t mind?” She eventually asked, her fingers still resting around Yaz’s wrist, though she wasn’t trying to use them to push her away any more.

“I love you. Let me take care of you, for once.”

There was another slight pause, before the Doctor let go of her hand, nodding. “Okay.”

Yaz let out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?” The Doctor turned to her, genuine confusion etched across her features.

Yaz took another step closer, cupping the Doctor’s face in one hand, and giving her the most genuine smile either of them had shared since they’d reunited. “For letting me in.”

#thirteenth doctor #doctor who #thasmin #yasmin khan #yaz khan #madeathing

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clan-sayeed-fic · 4 years

Text

Business (Kamilah Sayeed & MC)

Previous chapter: 1

Book: Bloodbound (property of Pixelberry Studios)

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed & MC: Amy (I do not own those characters, they’re the property of Pixelberry Studios as well)

Warnings: a little bit of angst (I think)

Rating: Mature

Author’s note: I’m not a native English speaker, I’m sorry for any mistakes (feel free to correct me).

I know it took me some time. But believe me, this chapter started with 1300 words, then I extended it to 2000, and then I rewrote it a few times, so we ended up here 😂

~ 1700 words

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Chapter 2

A bolt of lightning cut across the starry sky.

Centuries ago, somewhere in the middle of the forest, loud screams came from the old tavern. The gleam of the night peeked inside the building, seducing men to go outside to face the threat which came upon them. To fight what made them go through the days in constant fear, depriving them of their peaceful life.

Every single day, sunset meant for humans the beginning of the nightmare. As long as the sun was high in the sky, brightening the landscape around, locals remained safe. As if the danger was waiting in the shadows, afraid to step into the light, not having enough courage to show itself.

That day, a mutual threat brought them, leaders of all clans, together in the tavern.

The group of animals attacking their villages under cover of the night forced them to take the final steps. Their last hope was buried in the best hunters of this land. But even they ended up being captured by the darkness, disappearing without a sign.

The pattern repeated itself as bloodsucking creatures left death behind.

Suddenly, lightning hit the ground once again, causing the earth to tremble under its power. At the same time, doors were opened by the wind, revealing the shape of the man barely standing on his legs.

Leaders run toward the only survivor without double thinking, bringing him closer to the light.

"They... are not..." the man managed to mutter, "are not... animals."

Another thunder brightened the inside of the tavern. Silence fell between men as unsureness sneaked into their minds.

"Who are they then?" one of the leaders dared to ask.

The hunter lifted his head slowly at those words, putting enough effort to open his swollen eyes. His face appeared in the faint light of the torch for the first time, revealing scars on his face.

And two dots on the side of his neck with the path of blood flowing out of them.

"Humans," his voice broke when red liquid showed itself in the corner of his mouth. "Only one..."

The man's body moved in convulsions as the coughing took over him entirely. He was spitting out blood in agony until his eyes went blank, and heart stopped beating.

"How can one man lead to such bloodshed?" one of the leaders spoke as the rest lifted the corpse. "It's witchcraft."

Their eyes moved on the body of the dead hunter lying on the table with hands resting on his chest. Words kept echoing in their heads as the realization hit them one by one, making those powerful men feel the fear of the enemy they were not prepared for.

Because what chance did they have in fighting something so inhuman?

Was there even a weapon out there that would be strong enough to restore peace?

And what if coming into possession of it meant sacrificing humanity on their own...

***

The air was thick with anticipation.

Half of the security crew was gathered around the conference table, the rest of them waited outside right by the doors.

It was perfectly quiet inside the room. No one even dared to breathe louder, afraid to distract Paine's daughter. Kamilah and Adrian just watched the girl, trying to examine her reactions while she was studying the documents.

But Amy's face was unreadable for most of the time. She focused all her attention on the words before her, reading paragraphs of the contract carefully. Only from time to time, she had a habit of looking through the window to collect her thoughts or let her eyes rest.

But even then, her expression was impossible to read.

She almost got to the end of the files when her left eyebrow raised slightly for a second as she read the most significant part of the deal. Kamilah squinted her eyes at this, wondering what was going on in this pretty head.

Finally, Amy put the documents aside and looked directly at both CEOs as if she was waiting for them to say something. As if they were supposed to react in a certain way before her final decision.

But nothing happened.

Such a shame, Amy thought, sighing lightly.

Adrian stopped the awkward silence, grunting meaningfully. He stood up, buttoning his suit, just to offer the girl a pen to sign the contract.

But at that exact same moment, Amy got up out of the chair. She turned around without a single word, letting her blonde hair fly in the air with the movement.

"We're done here," she spoke to security guards with the audacity.

The girl intended to put her glasses on when Adrian spoke aloud, confused.

"I don't understand..." his voice showed pure astonishment. "Was there a problem?"

Amy turned around with surprise written on her face as if she just reminded herself about their presence.

The familiar feeling of victory filled her chest.

"Well, if we are talking about those documents, then yes, it was," she kept his gaze confidently.

"It can't be, we've already discussed the details with your parents," Adrian stepped forward, lifting the papers. "This meeting was supposed to be just a formality."

"And it would've been," Amy spoke, lifting her chin a little bit more, "if the details that you discussed together were included in the official version of this contract."

Adrian went through the papers in a hurry, searching for any mistakes. He put all his hopes in this deal, he wasn't ready to give up on it so quickly.

While he was searching through the files, Amy looked behind him, meeting with Kamilah's chestnut eyes. To her surprise, the woman kept her silence this entire time, standing there with the corners of her mouth slightly curled up.

"I'm sure you are aware of what trust means to this family," Amy's eyes challenging, voice sharp, "Mrs. Sayeed."

Adrian followed her gaze, quickly recognizing the look on his best friend's face. Realizing that the woman must have had this planned all along.

"I am absolutely aware of that," Kamilah wasn't smiling anymore. "Mr. and Mrs. Paine need to understand what kind of situation they've put us in," she knew what exactly needed to be said to get to this girl. "We were discussing details with them, not their young daughter."

The tone of her voice provoked Amy immediately, causing her stubbornness to show off.

"Unfortunately, now I'm the one who you need to convince, not them," she said, raising her left eyebrow, challenging.

"I'm sure we can reach an agreement," Adrian tried to ease the tension in the room, standing between two women.

Amy kept her arms crossed as a way to exaggerate her impatience. At that moment, she indeed looked like the stereotypical only child, raised in a wealthy family.

"Of course, we can always come back to the original version of the contract," Kamilah said with a smirk, making her way to the desk where she had everything prepared.

And by doing so, she caused the family pride to burn inside Amy.

She might have been young, but smart enough to know what was happening there. Kamilah was making Paines look bad in this situation, showing the dominance of her own company.

"That won't be necessary," the girl's mind worked fast. "I've already lost more than enough time for this nonsense," she was done playing nice. "Under those circumstances, the last version will not cover the damage to this meeting. I would like to discuss the details again."

Kamilah opened her eyes wide for a second, impressed with this attitude. The harsh tone of Amy's voice made her feel both: bitter and fascinated.

"Fair enough," she held back a smile, getting what she wanted from the start. "We can arrange a personal meeting tomorrow if there are no contraindications," she sensed Adrian's mood changing.

"Amelia, we..." a bodyguard stepped forward, speaking in a muted voice.

"Nothing stands in the way," Amy interrupted, sending him a meaningful look.

Both CEOs shared a quick glance, wondering what that was about. But the girl's tone didn't leave much space for discussion.

"It's decided then," Kamilah nodded to herself, keeping in mind this situation.

She looked at the girl's eyes once again, finding herself drawn to this intense shade of green.

The color annoyed her memory as the long-forgotten past was asking for her attention.

***

"Why, Kamilah... why?"

They came back to her office right after the meeting.

"I don't see the reason to panic," Kamilah's voice remained calm as she got behind the desk, already occupied with work.

"You almost ruined our chance for this collaboration," Adrian couldn't believe that it was the same woman standing in front of him.

The same one who would kill for the deal, push all the buttons to get what she wanted. And at that moment, they both wanted to get this contract signed with Paine's surname.

Or at least, he thought so.

"I needed to make sure what we are walking into," she leaned back in the chair, relaxed. "Besides, I will meet this girl, and everything will be exactly the same."

"Oh, you will?" Adrian's eyebrows lifted, he didn't like the sound of those words. "I thought that we were going to meet her," that's when it hit him. "No, no, Kamilah, leave her out of it."

"Don't be such a baby," the woman frowned at him, slowly losing her patience.

Adrian looked at her closely, noticing something that he assumed faded away a long time ago. This characteristical glow on her skin. Corners of her lips barely curled up as she was holding back a grin. And what was betraying her the most:

eyes of the hunter.

"I know that look on your face," Adrian cheered up, forgetting about the contract. "I haven't seen it for a while, but I would recognize it anywhere."

"Stop this nonsense," Kamilah said with a smile, turning toward the window, away from his gaze.

What Adrian said was true.

She was in the mood to play.

And Amy seemed to be the perfect match for this game.

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Next chapter: 3

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tag list: @cheeto-choices @kamilah-is-queen @ariaminsinclair @helpconfusedpersonhere @ayushixo @nydeiri

#choices fanfiction #choices stories you play #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #bloodbound fic #bloodbound kamilah #bloodbound fanfiction #bb kamilah #kamilah choices #bloodbound mc #bb mc

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anti-the-glitch-bitch · 3 years

Text

Into the Void

*This is my Dark/Anti horror story. There is no shipping of them or any Septiplier. There is such themes as blood, gore, torture, abuse and other things. If that’s not your thing then please move along. If it is your thing then I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment on what you thing of it. I love comments.*

Word count: 2,480

"Mark Fischbach! You get your ass down here right now!" I yell at the top of my lungs, slamming the front door open at the same time. Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago, but he never showed up. I'm sure he probably got caught up in recording a video for his channel. I had texted and called him multiple times, but I never got a reply back. At times, being a Youtuber's friend can be frustrating. With a sigh, I turned to go back outside and start the arduous task of bringing my bags in. Before I can put even a foot out the door, I hear a loud thunk from upstairs and then barking.

A door slowly opens, and the barking gets significantly louder. I chuckle as a fluffy golden retriever runs down the stairs, straight at me, tail wagging a mile a minute.

"CHICA! How is the beautiful fluffy puppers?" I coo as I kneel down, so I can give her all the love she deserves. This is my first time ever meeting her, but Mark was always sending me pics and videos of her. So I'm pretty excited to get to love on her.

"Sorry, Bri. I..um..lost track of time." Mark's guilty voice comes from the stairs.

I look up and glare at him as he walks over to me. He scratches the back of his head as he gives me a sheepish grin. "You're lucky that Chica is sooo adorable. Otherwise, you would be in so much trouble! All you had to do was say you got held up. I would have understood, you ass!" I huff at him and go to grab my bags.

"So, are you saying I'm not adorable?" he gives me a fake pout as he throws his arm around my shoulder." Not when you leave me hanging at the airport with not even a call." I laugh as I hip bump him, causing him to stumble. I never could stay mad at him for long. His antics made me laugh too much for that.

"Well, since I'm off to such a bad start as a host. I'll get your bags." He grabs my two suitcases while I grab the smaller duffel bag.

Mark and I have been best friends since we were kids. We were neighbors when he lived in Ohio and became inseparable. We stayed super close until he moved to LA, and I stayed in Ohio. We texted and video chatted all the time, but it was never the same as being in person. When my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I was absolutely devastated.

We were a month away from getting married. I had come home from a work meeting and realized all his stuff was gone. No note. Nothing. I locked myself in my apartment for over a week, just lay in bed. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I cut contact with everyone. I was numb to everything, and I did nothing to stop myself from spiraling faster and faster down into the abyss of nothingness.

I guess Mark and his girlfriend, Amy, got worried because the next thing I know, Mark is banging on my door early one morning, hollering at me to open my damn door. I'm not sure who was more shocked. Me, at their sudden appearance or them, at my disastrous looks.

Two hours later, and I've had my first shower and meal in who knows how long. They sat with me and let me cry on their shoulder for as long as I needed. Well, Amy did. Mark just sat on the couch, looking super uncomfortable and trying super hard to cheer me up. After awhile, Mark's joking nature started to cheer me up, and Amy joined in, talking about all the antics their friends had gotten up to. It was almost midnight when I finally had them convinced that I was feeling tons better. Before they left, Amy had managed to get a promise out of me that I would come to LA and stay for an undefined amount of time.

I was hoping I could get away with only a few days, but Amy wouldn't hear anything of it and told me to pack for at least two weeks. Guess I really worried them if they wanted to keep me for that long. That was the reason why one short month later, I was hauling my things into their house.

I follow Mark upstairs to the guest bedroom and throw my bag on the bed. Next thing I know, Mark has me in a giant hug. I tense at first but quickly relax into it. "I'm so glad you came, Bri. I've been worried about you. I was afraid you might bail on me last minute." His voice is thick with emotions as he puts his chin on my head.

I shrug as I fight not to cry. "I thought about it a million times, but in the, end I knew it would do me some good. Plus, I just plain missed you. Your videos just don't do the real you justice." I pull myself out of the hug and look around as I realize someone is missing. "Where is Amy at? I thought she was gonna be here."

"Oh, she went on a girl's trip with Sean's girlfriend. They wanted some time to bond over girl things. They didn't say how long they would be gone, but I'm sure they'll be back before you leave." He gives me a mischievous grin. "That means you’re stuck with me for who knows how long."

I start laughing like a maniac as I think of all the pranks I can pull on Mark without retribution from both of them. "OH no. That means you'll be stuck with ME. Now, what's a girl gotta do to get some food around this joint?" I rub my hands together and lick my lips as I think about eating real food.

He grumbles jokingly about not signing up to be my personal chef as he makes his way to the kitchen. I'm just about to follow when I notice a weird, flickering shadow flit across the doorframe. I look around the room to see what might have caused it but don't see anything.

I must be really tired, I think as I shake my head and continue on my way to the kitchen.

"Here's the thing. I've been so busy trying to get videos done, so I can spend time with you, that I forgot to make a trip to the store. I've got stuff to make sandwiches, or we can order out?" He is definitely not guilty as he tells me this. I'm pretty sure he is using me as an excuse to get fast food by the smile on his face.

"Damn, Mark. You act like I showed up out of the blue instead of planning this visit for a month. Sandwiches will be just fine with me." I laugh as I push past him towards the fridge. Mark is helping me get all the stuff together when there is a knock at the door. Chica instantly starts barking and makes a beeline for the door. Mark looks at me very quickly with a super not guilty look. The look on his face has me instantly on guard.

"Bri, please don't be mad, but I might have told Sean that you are gonna be staying with me and that you are a huge fan of his. I talk about you all the time to him, and he wanted to meet you. His girlfriend is on that trip with Amy so he is also gonna be staying here for a bit." That shithead was dead. His fans are going to be so pissed cause I am about to murder this man.

I don't know how my body did it, but it felt like all the blood in my face went straight to my cheeks. I'm a very shy person when it comes to anyone that might even be remotely famous. My anxiety goes into overdrive, especially since I might have a small celebrity crush on the Youtuber known as Jacksepticeye.

"YOU FUCKING DID WHAT?!" I'm sure if my voice was an octave higher, I could have shattered glass. Mark is laughing his ass off at my reaction and starts walking towards the door. "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" I shriek in absolute panic.

That asshat is laughing so hard at this point that he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. Sean is apparently tired of waiting for Mark and decides to let himself in. "OI! Ya gobshyte going ta let me stand outside all day?" Sean makes eye contact with me as he says this before an unopened loaf of bread hits him directly in the face.

In my panic, my fight instincts kicked in, and I threw the 1st thing my hands came across. Luckily for Sean, it just happened to be bread. Then my flight instincts kick in. I give a horrified shriek, and I hightail it into my room with Mark's laughter following me the entire way. I close the door shut and rip the blanket off the bed. I then proceed to go to the closet, open the door, wrap the blanket around me and hide in the closet with the door shut.

I will become one with the Darkness if it's the last thing I do.

I'm only in the closet for about 10 minutes before Mark finds me. I'm no longer freaking out, but now the embarrassment is kicking into overdrive. "I live in this closet now. I can never leave. It is my home." I groan into the blanket.

"That was the funniest shit I've ever seen. My only regret is that I wasn't recording it." He chuckles as he pulls the blanket off my head. "You planning on hiding in here forever? I mean, it wasn't as bad as the time you met Daniel Cudmore." I groan even harder before I look up at him. " The difference between then and now is that Daniel didn't get A FACE FULL OF BREAD! This is the most embarrassing thing ever. I can never face him now. I hate you so much right now. This entire thing is your fault." I can only facepalm as my cheeks start heating up again. Mark chuckles as he shakes his head.

He briefly glances at the doorway and then back at me. He flops onto the floor just outside the closet door. "Sean thought it was funny...Well, once he got over the shock, that is. Come onnnnn. He came all this way from England just to meet one of my best friends. He can't do that if you hide away in here. He's just a regular dude that also happens to be a Youtuber. You'll never get over that weird celebrity shyness you have if you don't talk to him." he starts trying to yank the blanket off me.

"Ugh. Why do you have to bring logic into this? I can't help it if my stupid brain has to spazz out. Give me a few minutes to gather my courage. If I'm not downstairs in 15 minutes, then you can come get me like the barbarian you are." I laugh and try to yank the blanket back.

"You are such a chicken shit, I swear." He smiles and stands up. Before I can do anything else, he yanks the blanket super hard. It jerks me partially out of the closet, and I fall out, laying on my side. There is a familiar laugh close to the bedroom door that is neither mine nor Mark's. I immediately tense up and look at the doorway. Those blue eyes are the first thing I see. I overlook many other details except that cute Irish boi smile. Then I realize that Sean is standing in the doorway. Looking at me. I dive back into the closet while simultaneously yanking the blanket back in with me. I slam the closet door shut, and not even a second later, Sean and Mark are laughing hysterically.

Yuck it up, you assholes. I don't respond as I am now busy trying to make the floor more comfortable with the blanket. "You have to come out eventually, Bri. You can't stay in there all day." His voice gets farther away as he talks.

" I just need some time! Go play some video games or whatever shit you guys do together! I yell back at him.

There was no way in hell I was ever leaving this closet while Sean was here. I guess it's a good thing my phone is fully charged cause I'm going to need something to do in here. I get on YouTube and start watching my Darkiplier/Antisepticeye playlist.

I love Mark like a brother and would never be able to think of him any other way, but when he made that first video going full Darkiplier….I wasn't able to FaceTime him for two weeks because I would instantly think of Dark and start blushing. The first time I saw Anti's full appearance I completely fangirled. I must have watched the video on repeat a million times. What can I say? I love my bad boys.

I'm not sure how long I stay in the closet watching the videos but I feel myself start to get tired. I'm fighting sleep and losing badly. I'm just about to conk out when I feel a hand gently caress my cheek.

"You'll do just fine." a voice whispers to me as I fall unconscious.

#Darkiplier #antisepticeye #markiplier #jacksepticeye #horror #ao3 fanfic #DarkestAnti

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priorireverte · 3 years

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Congratulations Storm!

Your application for Molly Weasley has been accepted. Of all the Weasleys I ever thought we’d get, Molly was not one of them. I am delighted to have been proved wrong.

Please look to the checklist for the next steps and reach out if you have any questions!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Storm, they/them

TIMEZONE: EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I should be able to post a few times a week and keep up with the activity requirement! I wouldn’t apply if I didn’t think I had the time to actively participate.

ANYTHING ELSE: Graphic depictions of gore ( more of a squick than a trigger; it just makes me uncomfortable, but if I see it it’s not the end of the world! This would apply mostly to gifs and images / aesthetics though )

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Molly Elizabeth Weasley

BIRTHDATE: October 30, 1950

DEATHDATE: n/a

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Female ( she/her pronouns ); bisexual – Molly has always been comfortable with who she is, and her sexuality is no different. She realized she liked both men and women from a young age and was unashamed of the fact because, unlike muggle society, sexuality wasn’t deemed a problem like blood status would be. It didn’t matter in the end, though, because once she laid eyes on Arthur Weasley, she knew he was the one for her. No crush could compare to the pure love she felt for the bumbling redhead who stole her heart.

BLOOD STATUS: pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

OCCUPATION: Unemployed. Molly, at one point, considered returning to school as either a professor at Hogwarts or an educator for young wixen children ( sort of like muggle pre-school ), but after her marriage and many children, work was never in the cards. Now that she’s older, she’s once again considering offering a daycare of sorts for young children – she has time to spare with her children all grown up, and she’d rather be looking after and teaching children than left to her thoughts.

FACECLAIM: Amy Adams

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

POSTBELLUM

Molly had the disprivilege to live through not one, but two wars started by the same sick man, and they both had no small impact on her. During the First Wixen War, Molly wanted no part of it, staying firmly neutral even though her beliefs were aligned with the Order of the Phoenix. She and Arthur were married with a small brood of children by the time it picked up in earnest, after all, and her primary thought was to stay by her little boys to keep them as safe and innocent as possible – going out to fight and possibly die would do no one any favors. Her point was only proven in the death of her younger brothers, something that was a catastrophic blow on her soul. She and her brothers were close, after all, or as close as they would let her; Molly would have done anything for Gideon and Fabian. It was their deaths that made her question whether or not her choice to stay out of the war, as logical as it was, ended up being the right one after all. What if she’d been able to save them somehow? What if she’d been at least somewhat involved in the order and privy to their plans? Maybe she could’ve convinced them to stay home that evening. None of those regrets mattered, in the end – her brothers were dead, and soon after you-know-who was dead as well. Things were over… or so everyone thought. The Second Wixen War was unexpected, but Molly was more involved that time around. She didn’t volunteer to go out on missions; she still had children to look after. She was involved, though, particularly once Ron brought home young Harry Potter himself. Molly cared for Harry like her own son, and he was smack in the middle of the war to start with. She hated that her children were involved in a war, but this time would be different – this time, she would do all that she could to keep her family safe like she couldn’t with her brothers. Fred’s death took that resolve, chewed it up, and spat it right back at her. How foolish was she to think that her family, so involved as they were, would not be drastically impacted by the war yet again? Five years did little to ease the pain of losing a child, and she was certain she would be burdened with that pain for the rest of her life. She could still see her darling Fred’s face, still in death with the ghost of his last smile as she sobbed over his body just as much as she could see him alive and playing tricks on the family with George in her mind. Encumbered by grief like she was, Molly hardly paid much mind to the first report of the Returned making its way around. The second report piqued her interest ( and her confusion ), and despite herself, she kept watching and waiting for those she lost to return to her. She got her wish in the form of Fabian, young as the day she lost him, but that only made the Returned become something of an obsession of hers. If one brother was back, surely Gideon would be right on his heels? If her brothers were back, then surely she’d see her little Fred again, back from the dead and finally home? She knows the obsession isn’t healthy and is only making her grieving process worse, but Molly can’t bring herself to give a damn. She just wants her loved ones to finally come home.

PERSONALITY

Molly is and always has been a homebody. Family has always meant the world to her, the Prewetts having been a loving family who could lean on one another through thick and thin. While some would appreciate that and move on, Molly took that as a core part of who she was as a person and became what people dubbed “the mom friend” to her friends during school and beyond: she fussed over those she cared about greatly, to the point of being an annoyance, and worried over strangers if they looked like they needed a friendly face or shoulder to cry on. This tendency made her a rather outgoing person, and she was rarely judgmental if she could help it; Molly just wanted others to be happy. Some, however, saw this more as annoying than anything else. her caring nature backfired half of the time, painting her in the light of being far too nosey rather than concerned and wanting to be helpful. She’s guilty of eavesdropping on others, and while she says this is out of concern, she secretly knows it’s because she loves to listen to gossip as well. Molly likes to be in the know, whether she’s told directly or not. This has led to more than a few fights with friends, family, and strangers, but it’s always been part of who she was. Molly is unapologetic about who she is. These arguments are never small, either; Molly is short-tempered and can get easily annoyed when she’s not watching herself, and arguments where she’s been accused of something bring up this fiery part of her more than anything else. Despite her flaws, Molly tries to, first and foremost, be kind. Everyone needs a smiling face to look toward, and in a world as cruel as theirs, she tries to be that person for whoever needs it. If someone needs somewhere to stay, she’ll open her home up gladly; if someone needs to vent, she will lend an ear. She’s particularly fond of children ( if her own seven didn’t give that away ), and taking Harry and Hermione in whenever they wanted or needed to stay at the Burrow wasn’t even a question in her mind – of course they were welcome. war has taken much from Molly Weasley, but she refuses to let it take her kind heart.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY

The Prewetts were a loving, if loud and obnoxious, family, and Molly wouldn’t have had it any other way. She was the daughter of upstanding ministry workers, Mr. and Mrs. Prewett both being respectable in their departments and showing their children to be so as well. Respectable, however, didn’t necessarily mean disciplined, and most of Molly’s early childhood was filled with the yelling of her brothers, the soft croons of her parents’ voices, and the mewling of a stray cat Molly begged to keep ( creatively named Cat ). It was through her parents that she learned the value of truth and the power of words, learning from a young age that her greatest weapon won’t be her wand, but the words that come out of her mouth. A debate is just as deadly as a spell, her father would say. Speaking the truth shows the true value of a person, rather than lies that anyone can spill from their tongue, her mother would add. Molly took both to heart, making her quick-witted and stubborn to a fault when she knew she was right. As a Weasley, life was quite similar, though her role was reversed. Her home was still loud with the sound of screaming children, the heavy thundering of footsteps running through the house echoing what she experienced as a girl. Instead of partaking in the running, however, she was instead the one to scold like her mother did, but never fully discourage. Her family was part Prewett, after all, and Prewetts were nothing if not a little wild. It was she that taught her children the power of words, rather than the one learning them, and listening in as her husband taught their children how to be kind and judge others based on character rather than anything else. Life as a Weasley was dancing in the kitchen with her husband in the early hours of the morning, breakfast cooking while the radio crooned in their ears. Life as a Weasley was just as full of love as life as a Prewett was, and Molly cherished every moment. She always would.

HISTORY

Life was a series of moments, and Molly’s was no exception. Those moments formed her into who she was, after all; who would she be without being sorted into Gryffindor? She never would have met Arthur, whom she swore to this day that she fell in love with at first sight ( that wasn’t quite true; no first year knew love like theirs at such a young age – she fell hard, but love didn’t come until later, when she knew she would marry him before they both left Hogwarts ). Hogwarts introduced her to her friends, people who would become close enough to family that she’d introduce them to her children as aunts and uncles alike. Hogwarts made her a Prefect, though not Head Girl, and brought out her motherly side even more as she helped first years adjust to being away from home in an overwhelming environment. Being a Prefect prepared her to care for young children, though she still fumbled her way through Bill and Charlie’s infancy – she was much more prepared by the time Percy came around. Her children introduced her to their friends, who would grow their family even further ( both in marriage and in simple friendship; all friends were family in Molly’s book ). Each person she was introduced to expanded Molly Weasley’s capacity to love and to be loved in return, which made the Battle of Hogwarts that much harder as she saw others that she knew lying dead in the rubble. She mourned for Fred, but she mourned for the friends of her children as well, and for the friends she made through the order. It all hurt so much, but she’d rather take that hurt than lose that capacity to love.

OOC EXPLORATION:

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I was introduced to this rp by Nic, aka Fabian Prewett, and it looks absolutely phenomenal! The plot is super intriguing, and I honestly can’t wait to start playing in this verse with everyone.

ANYTHING ELSE? https://pin.it/23mXrSb <<< I wrote Molly elsewhere too who had a connection to Bellatrix, so ignore that section! Every other section is relevant to Molly here however.

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

This section is only if you are applying for a character that does not yet have a biography written (i.e. a character not listed on the character page). Any character can be applied for, so long as they can realistically fit into the plot and add substance to the roleplay! It may be a good idea to send a message to the main before applying to a non-bio character so we can work with you.

CHARACTER CONTRIBUTION: Molly has a ton of connections to characters both already in play ( Fabian, George, Ginny ) and available to play ( Bellatrix, the golden trio, potentially Fred and Gideon if they’re brought in down the line ), so I think it would be interesting to have her there to bounce off of others and let her bounce off of them in return. She’s a pillar of support to many people and is happy to offer that support to many more, but I plan to make her more than that. Molly is dynamic as a person: she’s kind and warm, yet fiery and firm in her beliefs. She has an obsession with the Returned because of how many people she’s lost in such a short span of time, to the point where she might use her free time to try and figure out how they’re coming back even though she’s not part of the Ministry and is missing a lot of critical information. Whether that goes anywhere is up to the admin team, of course, but it’s a line i’d love to look at in more detail.

PRESENT: Though life has improved slightly over the past five years, Molly is still very much riddled with grief and a shadow of who she was a decade ago. She still has her warm heart and does her best to be who people expect her to be, but sometimes she’ll see a shadow, or see a flash of red hair, and fall into herself once more while she mourns Fred’s loss. News of the Returned only made this grieving process worse, because instead of learning to move on, Molly clings to the fact that she’ll see her loved ones once more – something that intensifies once Fabian returns to them. Now it’s more akin to an obsession than anything, and Molly wouldn’t stop the obsession even if she wanted to. She just wants her loved ones to finally come home where they belong.

#prioriacceptance #molly weasley

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gershwinn · 4 years

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Lili Reinhart Never Had a Backup Plan

A fan favorite on the wildly popular teen soap Riverdale, Lili Reinhart has major movie stardom in her sights. And if you ask nicely, she just might read your horoscope.

Refreshingly, Reinhart is not vegan, gluten-free, keto, or on a macrobiotic diet. She is a self-described picky eater and considers this a treat. "No one wants to go [here] with me," she says, excitedly, when we sit down. Though Reinhart is dressed unfussily, in a faded black tee, Topshop denim jacket, jeans, thin hoop earrings, and a taupe baseball cap pulled over her buttery blonde hair, she is promptly approached by a woman at the next table. There's a lot the cap isn't hiding. Off-screen, Reinhart's eyes look as wide, upturned, and full-lashed as a Disney princess's; her clear, milky complexion is dotted youthfully with freckles; and her dimples seem to take turns showing off: a slight divot in her chin, then twin creases that show up on either side of her face when she's amused.

The woman leans over and asks Reinhart if she is on TV. Reinhart's lips tighten, and a wince flickers at her eyes, but she gives a polite smile and nods slowly. The woman plows on. Her son is a big fan, she says, motioning to a grinning boy beside her. He's an aspiring actor, and they're in town from Texas to give it a try. Reinhart relaxes a bit. She asks what part of Texas they are from, sincerely congratulates the boy on his endeavors, and turns to resume our interview. Reinhart says this moment — and others like it — is more full circle than she would care to admit.

"It's funny. I went to this Cheesecake Factory with my mom when I was, like, 15," she says. "We had flown in for an audition. I was sitting at the table over there, and I remember I got the email that I didn't get the part." Also around that time, Reinhart recalls spotting Zac Efron in a doctor's-office waiting room and surreptitiously snapping a photo of the actor. "I feel so gross about it now," she says. "It is flattering, but it also makes you feel like a zoo animal. Even when I'm sitting in the cast greenroom, if [someone is] holding their phone up like this, I'm like, ‘What are you doing?' I've become very paranoid."

I ask what she thinks about that F-word: fame. She changes the subject. "Cute boots," she remarks. I am flattered and launch into a monologue about how much I love Primark, specifically the one in Madrid, before realizing what she's done and ask her once more to talk. About. Fame. "It's so weird," she says, finally. "I don't really think about it until I'm around people. I don't think about it until I see young women, because those are the people that recognize me. Then all of a sudden, I become very aware."

True to her word, I notice Reinhart physically tenses up every time a teenage girl — or worse, a group of teenage girls — nears us. But when she's not on high alert for high schoolers, Reinhart is unguarded to a degree I would not expect from any stranger, much less one whose privacy is under constant scrutiny. For starters, she texts me directly, rather than having an assistant or manager handle our communication (standard for most celebrities).

Later that night, we decide on a meeting location for the next day. "As long as we go somewhere with eggs, I'm happy," she texts, before we settle on Dialog Cafe in West Hollywood and push back the time — neither of us feels like showing up before 9 a.m. Reinhart has an ease and openness in conversation that makes talking to her feel more like a slumber party than an interview. She volunteers thoughts on cute babies (just her goddaughter, for now), romantic love (something she prefers to fall into rarely, and fiercely), taking a spouse's surname (she favors hyphenation), and being the "grandma" of her friend group.

"When I get drunk, my friends act like it's a national holiday," Reinhart says. She offers up snippets from her camera roll and Instagram direct messages: photos of the hot-air balloon ride her boyfriend, Cole Sprouse, took her on for her birthday, and a dog she wishes were up for adoption — a shaggy shelter pup with no eyes. And just when I think I couldn't feel any more like the real-life Veronica to her Betty, she asks me if I want to go shopping.

Reinhart leads us by memory through a sprawling Barnes & Noble, up to two flights of escalators, then over to the left and back toward the windows, until we end up in the self-improvement section. Reinhart used to come here with friends, back when she first moved to L.A., and spend time poring over books like The Secret Language of Your Name. She tells me the provenance of her given name: Daniel and Amy Reinhart of Cleveland fell in love, got married, and named their second daughter after the actor Lili Taylor. There wasn't any special connection. "They just liked the spelling of her name. It's the French spelling."

Reinhart drags a dictionary-thick tome from the shelf. "This is a book that I own," she says, handing it to me. It's as weighty as a textbook — it has to be, because it guarantees deep and profound knowledge about absolutely everyone, based on their date of birth. She helps me look up mine, which is hilariously titled the Day of Sensual Charisma. Hers is September 13, which the book has ordained the Day of Passionate Care. She reads the entry aloud. "Resilient determination. That sounds about right," she says. "This part is very true: ‘They may face great obstacles to their success, but not for a moment will the outcome be in doubt for them.' I always knew this is what I was going to do. I never had a plan B." It might be difficult to imagine what the aforementioned "great obstacles" have been, considering the fact that she had landed her role on Riverdale by the age of 19.

But being young and female in just about any work environment can have its dark side. Reinhart was 16 when an adult work associate attempted to force himself on her. "I felt physically pinned down to the ground while someone dry humped me, basically," she says. She has spoken publicly about the assault before — but in retrospect, she believes those statements were premature. "I think I shared my story…before I had really understood it," Reinhart says. "I kept thinking of it as something physical, but it was more so a psychological abuse...that spanned a couple of months. I went along with it and was trying to get his approval because we were working together…. I wanted my work environment to be easy."

She was also a minor at the time, being exploited by someone in a position of power. It's clearly difficult for Reinhart to recount. When trying to recall details — how long it went on, whether verbal abuse was involved — she speaks evenly, but frequently pauses and tells me that that time in her life is "blurry" or that she's "locked it away." "What makes me hopeful is people like [Supergirl and Glee actor] Melissa Benoist sharing her story of domestic abuse with the world, because I think she helped a lot of people by doing that. When people come forward about a sexual abuse experience or physical abuse or them struggling with a disorder, they're encouraging other people to not suffer in silence."

Another personal obstacle Reinhart has been vocal about is mental health. She recently read an article she can't get out of her head, about a child under the age of 10 who ended his life after being severely bullied. "Now more than ever, we need to be bringing the idea of mental health into schools and teaching it," Reinhart says. "It's about communicating clearly." She recalls experiencing crippling anxiety when she was growing up. "I felt very alone. But I was not being bullied, which made it really hard for my parents to understand," Reinhart says.

Her high school experience couldn't have been more different from that of Betty Cooper, who drifts easily between cheerleading, running the school newspaper, and solving mysteries, with a cadre of unusually attractive friends by her side. "I went through a semester when I didn't have any friends in my lunch period, and I didn't want to sit in a huge cafeteria by myself, so I would find classrooms to go sit in alone, or spend time in the bathroom, just chilling," she recalls.

By the time Reinhart began working (she supported herself as a waitress and a Pier 1 sales associate before she landed Riverdale), she was just trying to get through the week without having a panic attack.

Now that time in her life is growing distant. And she'll get to go to prom for the first time, on this season of the show. "Three and a half years ago, I had no money. I didn't have a love in my life like I do now. I didn't have any sort of confidence that I was on the right track, and now I have those things," Reinhart says. And her momentum shows no signs of stopping. The week after our interview, she filmed her first commercial for CoverGirl, which recently signed her as one of its faces. A forthcoming collection of her poetry, Swimming Lessons, will hit bookstores this May.

Pay, or equal pay, has been an issue and probably will continue to be. But Reinhart is prepared. "Cami [Mendes, who plays Veronica] and I have had to deal with that from Riverdale," Reinhart says.

"Going into projects in the future, I'm much more aware of it. So is my lawyer." She's also learned from the experiences of women like Michelle Williams and Taraji P. Henson. "I was taking notes," she says. "Taraji Henson had said something like, when she renegotiated for Empire, she knew her value to the show. She knew what that value was, and she demanded it." Reinhart pauses, choosing her words, sounding more sure of herself with each sentence: "I do know the value that I bring as someone who attracts an audience. And I'm not going to accept less than what I think I'm worth. And it's okay to fight for what I'm worth."

Source: Allure

#This is long but I don't care bc this interview is amazing!!!!#holy shit so much #in there #from the growin up stuff #dealing with fame #her mental health #knowing her WORTH #GO LILI #god the me too thing always hurts my heart #every time its brought up #her strenght tho #lr #lr allure #tldr: that love quote?#hit me right in he feels as it should #OH and hypenation?? thanks death

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